Coronavirus Crazy...So Many Ways to Poison People

My library was closed during the first pandemic lockdown. It took them months to figure out how to work with the restrictions so those of us secluded at home could have something to read or watch. Once I got through my stash of DVDs watching each movie TWICE, I became stir crazy. Facebook notices were posted about how essential the library is, but if it's closed during a lockdown, I guess not. 

At one point I emailed the library management with gentle suggestions and helpful tips to think out of the box so they could remain viable and relevant. The thought of all those DVDs sitting in transport boxes waiting to be sent to me drove me nuts. I was told, and I quote, "That's not our job description." I wanted desperately to reply, to scream, "But you are failing miserably at your job description now so thinking out of the box might be a better solution." I didn't. I just let it go. I've learned to choose my battles carefully.

Months later they opened with "take-out" option. This was easy during the summer. All activity was outside. They even rigged a door bell in the parking lot. This was perfect for me even during non-pandemic times. Social distancing and masks were required.

Recently they finally opened the front door and with plexyglass covering the check-out counters, one person at a time is allowed to browse the shelves or use a computer for exactly five minutes. Besides masks, the requirement to enter the library is to place your hands under the hand sanitizer.

I don't browse nor do I have any need to use a computer. Never have. Our library does have a fragrance free policy, but they forget. Librarians, library patrons and books wiped with someone's hand lotion or perfume stink. I order DVDs through the online holds, they arrive, and I pick them up. Again, take-out was perfect for me. However, with all their restrictions, the delivery of DVDs was reduced to once, maybe twice, a week. It can take weeks to get one DVD. So the other day I thought, Hmmmm...maybe I should browse? Especially since they let only one person in at a time.

The librarian said, "Would you like to browse for five minutes?" Followed by in a much louder tone, "DON'T FORGET TO SANITIZE YOUR HANDS!"

I don't hand sanitize. Putting chemicals on a chemically sensitive person's hands is idiotic. I know this, but I also know if I say anything I'd be grouped in with the Covidiots who are refusing to wear masks and lying about having disabilities to justify their bad behavior. So I keep my mouth shut.

I looked at the automatic spraying hand sanitizer (OMG!) and wondered silently, what's in it? I wanted to enter. I went out into my vehicle and got some plastic gloves. This is my procedure when I must hand sanitize at the food co-op: disinfect with either vinegar or hydrogen peroxide, protect my hands with gloves under the watchful eye of the store guard, sanitize, go directly to the restroom, remove gloves, wash hands for twenty seconds, put on new gloves that are located right outside the door. Pain in the ass, but I'll jump the hoops. I understand the importance of this, however, once again, the special needs of the chemically sensitive are being ignored.

I placed my gloved hands under the sanitizer and they were doused with what seemed like a gallon of stink spraying all over and into my nose. I felt the spray particles on my face! Oh shit. I rubbed them together desperately thinking I now needed to run to the nearest sink and wash. I lasted about ten seconds. The stink was overwhelming. I frantically removed the gloves and left the library.

What is in hand sanitizers? There are two types:

The first is ethanol or an ingredient called ethyl alcohol. This is grain alcohol and usually used to make distilled liquor. Oh, it might be fun to put some whiskey, tequila or gin on my hands! Well, not exactly. This is "denatured" alcohol so drinking it or licking it off your hands will make you sick.

The second type of hand sanitizer is made with isopropanol or isopropyl alcohol or what we know as rubbing alcohol.

Other ingredients commonly used in both hand sanitizer types: thickeners which are called carbomers or cross polymers, PH adjusters like triethanolamine or aminomethyl propanol (yuck), and moisturizing agents like vegetable glycerin (yuck), Vitamin E (gluten), or aloe leaf juice.

Last, but not in any sense least: FRAGRANCE. Not all hand sanitizers use fragrances, but if they are made with either essential oils or chemicals. It is advised to not use chemical fragrances (phthalates) as they could irritate one's skin. Yep. At least someone is thinking, but unfortunately the general population doesn't think so you know they will migrate to the smelly stuff as often as possible. Scented hand sanitizers are becoming popular. It is believed, like with all other products, if it smells good, people will be more likely to use it. 

The concentration requirement according to the FDA is 60% for maximum effectiveness. They do not recommend consumers make their own hand sanitizers, and highly suggest not to ever put household cleaners or disinfectants on your skin or in your body. In other words, do not follow the advise of that idiot president. Like perfumes, hand sanitizers are flammable. Make sure your hands are dry before continuing activities involving heat, sparks, static electricity or open flames. Smokers beware! If a hand sanitizer has either methanol or benzalkonium chloride in it, avoid it like the plague (pun intended). Children under six years old should not use hand sanitizers. Keep your sanitized hands away from your eyes and don't lick them. Good advice.

In Malaysia the latest fad is retail outlets are now using "aerosolization". Or disinfectant tunnels. Yep, you read that right! As you walk into the store your whole body is sprayed with chlorine bleach. This is along the same thought process as passenger airplanes being sprayed with pesticides while the passengers are on them. Or casinos and other businesses using scented products in their HVAC systems as a marketing strategy. Those in management are hoping to save time and money with mass sterilization thinking it's more effective. It's all about money and the bottom line. Malaysian officials and scientists have stated this practice is ineffective against covid, but can be harmful irritating the lungs and skin. The businesses still invest thousands of dollars on these machines and do it anyway. I know people who's extremities go numb if they get anywhere near bleach and, of course, many chemically sensitive can't use it at all without dire consequences. This is more evidence of the stupidity of people thinking more is better, and everyone needs to breathe poison, be dipped in it, or in this case sprayed down as if we are cattle.

The best way to sanitize one's hands according to the FDA: hand washing with hot water and soap. There is no evidence that antibacterial/antiseptic soap works better. Plain old soap and plain old water for twenty seconds.

Stay safe, not just from covid, but from all the stupid people trying to poison us.

The Hoarder

For most of my adult life I've lived in tiny, one bedroom apartments with stark white walls and few closets. Minimalism was my middle name. I had little room for anything so gathering or stocking up on essentials or non-essentials was out of the question. Besides I hated shopping. I still hate shopping. 

Then in an attempt to rid myself of shared walls with toxic neighbors and dangerous landlords who want to spray chemicals or paint without warning, I bought a house. By my standards, a HUGE house. Three bedrooms. It was out in the middle of no where so the price was right. For years I had empty closets. I just didn't need all that room with so little possessions.

Well, all that's changed. My house is full. My closets are packed. I even have a garden shed and garage that is filled to the max. How did that happen? WHEN did that happen?

I love sunflowers!

It actually started as soon as I moved. Being disabled because of chemical sensitivity, unable to work and too close to homelessness at one point, that fear of impending financial doom is always in the back of my mind. Saving money any way I can is a priority. I've been a devoted customer of Freecycle and with a house that echoed, I started gathering. I love Freecycle and I started getting free furniture which inspired me to paint furniture which quickly got out of control. 

Then a few years ago the local junk store went out of business and started leaving their unwanted junk on the sidewalk with FREE signs. That was wonderful. Then I discovered the thrift store in the neighboring town puts all the donations they can't sell out in their carport with a huge FREE sign. I've become addicted. I love seeing what treasures are waiting for me. I've love bringing junk home cleaning, restoring, fixing, painting and giving the junk some tender loving care and a new life. It makes me feel resourceful and proud to find items I need and can use especially since much of it can be recycled for art projects. I don't even bother with yard sales anymore. Who wants to actually BUY something? They do often have free boxes for digging and that's where I head. Neighbors often put stuff out on the sidewalk with free signs. I have no qualms about digging through someone else's garbage. In fact, I come from a long line of dumpster divers! The rule is if I can use it now or in the future, take it as long as it's non-toxic or doesn't stink. Below are some of the items I've gleaned recently, in no particular order:

Tablecloths, kitchen towels, pot holders, cookware, bakeware, plates, cups, soup bowls, ceramic bowls, large brightly colored plastic bowls, crockpots, Elmer's glue, toothbrushes, dental floss, paint brushes, paint edgers, oil pastels, color crayons, pencils, greeting cards of all kinds, ribbon, florist wire, beads, jewelry, hair dryer, Christmas platters, sheets, fabric, pillows, books, magazines, paintings, bunny erasers, bird houses, chairs, footstools, vases, paper plates, plastic utensils, ceramic teapots, ceramic pitcher, pottery, toilet seats, t-shirts, turtle necks, hats, coats, socks, jeans, blouses, garden tools, phone covers, storage bins, files, craft supplies for 1st graders, coat hooks, sewing supplies of all kinds, yard furniture, spider web decorations for Halloween, one giant spider, rubber boots, Converse shoes, rugs, lamp shades, plastic mats, cutting boards, amphora, electric candles, Christmas ornaments, Christmas lights, Christmas beads, Christmas tree stand, wrapping paper, tissue paper, cafeteria tables, notebooks, dining room tables, Virgin Mary statue, toothpicks, felt pens, cane, dishracks, light cover, light switch covers, curtains, flashlight, and one really cool metal fan.

I have started collections. I've never been one for collecting anything so this is a new and wonderous experience and understand now why people collect things just for the sake of collecting. Not that I need to collect anything.... The first is gift bags. There are always gift bags to be had for free. They are usually unused, brand new, with fancy ribbons for handles, and cards attached. I don't know what I'll do with them. It's not like I give gifts to a lot of people. Some of them are absolutely gorgeous.

 I've also started collecting little decorated cardboard boxes, also for gifts. Yeah, between the wrapping paper, greeting cards, tissue paper, ribbons, gift bags and now gift boxes, I think I have gift-giving in my future. These boxes are really adorable:

I've become fanatical about frames of every shape and size. Initially I started collecting these because I volunteered to help kids at the fair put their art for the art show in frames. Because of the pandemic, the fair was cancelled this year so I have about 100 frames stuffed into a closet, but I can't stop taking them! Habits are hard to break! I limit my collection to only wood frames, although sometimes I take a frame only for the glass or matt board. Some frames are incredibly beautiful and intricate; some very old with lots of history. Every now and then I search through the frames and do a painting for one of them or create a mosaic. I'll never run out of frames! I'm considering doing something creative with them. Not sure what yet.

I looked for years for a lamp shade for an antique lamp and found one that matches it perfectly. (See top photo.) Then I thought it would be fun to learn how to redo shades so I collected about six.

Probably the weirdest things I started collection are old dish towels. Yeah, you heard that right. OLD dish towels. It started when I went to the store to buy dish towels. $7.00 each??!! Are you kidding? I thought maybe I could cut up a regular bath towel, but then I started finding them in the alley free pile at the thriftstore. They are often seasonal, fall or Christmas, so they are hardly used. I only take ones that are 100% cotton and don't have rips or tears. I do take those with stains, but I bring them all home and bleach them in the washer with hot water. If the stains persist, I use those for rags. So many of them are ugly, but that's part of their charm. LOL! I'm also fond of Christmas pot holders. LOL!

The one freebie I really, really like is an original oil painting by Eugene Kingman who was a professor at RISD in the 1940s according to online sources. The frame is beautiful. I don't think it's worth anything. It's a fairly small, non-descript, mundane landscape with no context, but I like it and I love that the artist has an online presence. I've tried emailing the website to find out more about the painting, but no one has responded. It even has a certification of authenticity on the back.

I found this painting, too, but it's not by anyone I can find online: 

It looks like it's Havana (?). Perhaps painted by an amateur painter (?) or street artist (?).  I'm guessing it might have been a tourist purchase. I just read a book on a 1950s African American painter who spent a lot of time in Havana painting so I felt a connection. It was a very popular destination for artists to go back then. I love the bright colors, but I'm not sure if I will keep it.

It's very weird to be a hoarder and I am hoping it doesn't get too out of control and I end up with trails through my house with junk piled to the ceilings. I've seen houses like that. It's definitely mentally ill. For me it might be a hormonal thing and I'm nesting or in some kind of survival mode. I can't blame it on the pandemic since this started long before. I love saving money especially when I find things I need. Still, trying to get enough supplies to weather this pandemic has been challenging. I'm just not a buyer so I'm not good at stocking up or self-centered hoarding. When my friend Girl Alive told me to go stock up on groceries and toilet paper, it still took me three trips to the store before I bought even an adequate amount...not counting the three year's supply of toilet paper I bought a year ago when I cancelled my Costco membership. That was a smart move!

Visiting a thrift store in a back alley is much safer than shopping with toxic people! My neighbor's garbage pile - much safer than shopping with toxic people. But free stuff is so wonderful!

The Winter War Begins...

The floors in my house are white, with the exception of the newly re-finished living room floor which is now an amber wood color. People always grimace when they see the floors and ask, "Aren't they hard to keep clean?" I think white floors would be difficult for someone who never cleans, but I clean all the time.

When I first moved here I was talked into staining the floors a dark brown, so dark it was almost black. I hated it. Besides the fact it was dark which can be pretty dreary during our dark, wet, cold winters, I couldn't see the spiders. It freaked me out they could sneak up on me. So I stripped the floors and painted them white. The kitchen, laundry, mud room and downstairs bathroom are all white tile. I can see those black creepy little bodies a mile away now!

Yes, I love white tile. It's easy to wash. It's like doing dishes. And I don't have cats, dogs, kids or men walking in and out of my house with dirty shoes. I don't even wear shoes in the house.  I have no desire to track not only mud into my living space, but pesticides, herbicides or dog shit. Lately, I've had too many people complain when I ask them to take off their shoes, but I have yet to have anyone volunteer to clean the floors before they leave. I am tempted to post a sign on my door that says, "REMOVE YOUR FUCKING SHOES!" I am so tired of arguing with these people.

Will I ever experience a winter without a war? Summer wars include bumble bees, yellow jackets, hornets and wasps. Every winter larger animals move in and I've been infiltrated by opossums, mice, rats, and one year I had a cat living under my house. Looking back I think that cat was probably managing the rats, but hearing it run around the crawlspace all night did not give me comfort. It's a struggle to get rid of the freeloads and try to do it safely for both myself and the vermin. So far this year the critters have stayed away. (Knock on wood.)

This year it's ANTS! First time in fifteen years. If it wasn't for my white tile counter and floor, I probably wouldn't have seen them until they took over the whole kitchen and ended up in the food. They are so tiny they are nearly microscopic. They were coming in through under a window ledge (I think) in the pantry, traversing across the counter, down the cupboards, across the floor and up the garbage receptacle which is in the kitchen just outside the pantry. Thankfully, I don't keep food in the pantry - just toilet paper. Again, thank GOD for my white tiles or I might have never noticed them until it was a real mess.

So, how to get rid of them without poisoning myself? First, I cleaned out the garbage container and moved it to the other side of the kitchen up on a chair. They didn't like that and started marching INTO my lower cupboards searching for tasty treats. UGH! No snacks in those cupboards but I had to clean everything stored in there. (What a pain!)

I needed to try some natural deterrents, remedies that wouldn't poison me and would just keep them from wanting in the house. I read like spiders they hate peppermint so I washed the tiles down with peppermint oil. That worked for a couple hours then they were back. I kept washing, and they kept coming back. Not working.

I read vinegar will kill them on contact and deter them. I tried that, but I know vinegar can eat tile so I wasn't thrilled with the idea. I tried it once and it didn't faze them at a all, in fact, their troops seemed to multiply.

Cayenne pepper. In another dwelling I had an ant problem, bigger ants coming in from the garden into my ground level apartment. I tried all kinds of things and the only thing that worked was cayenne pepper in a line on the edge of my patio. But how do I place bright red cayenne pepper on my beautiful white tiles and grout without staining it? I tried putting it on just the tiles, but the ants just walked around it. Not working.

After a week of battle, I was at my wits end. I was done trying to deter them. It was time to bring out the big guns. I've used boric acid for cockroaches when I lived in Phoenix and it works great but you can't just leave a pile of it and expect them to eat it. They are smart. They won't. You have to dust their trails with it so they only walk in it. After the cockroaches clean themselves by licking it off their feet, they are dead. Boric acid is also toxic to kids and pets, and if you stick your hands in it and then eat it, poisonous to adults, too. I tried it on the big ants in my former apartment, but I don't think I did it right. I found a recipe online:

Wearing gloves, mix 8 teaspoons of sugar with 1 cup of warm water in a container you plan to throw away or can clean really well after. Instead of sugar, you can use maple syrup, molasses, honey, or anything you might have around the house that is sweet and yummy. Add 1/2 teaspoon of boric acid and mix well. Using cotton balls, soak up the mixture and place where the ants are coming in. I also added a bit of coconut flour because I figured if ants want to carry it back to the nest, they would poison the other ants.

I put the cotton balls on little pieces of plastic to 
keep them off the tile.

I also placed a small container under the house below where the window is located.   I also caulked around the window ledge, but I did worry they'd find another way in. Annihilating them seems to be the only solution as they are relentless.

They loved it. Yum. It took about 24 hours for the ants to all disappear, with a few stranglers every now and then. I've left the poison balls on the counter just in case...for now.

The Walls from Hell (Construction 2020 Part III)

So now that the hard part was over, two months of stripping and refinishing the floor, I finally got to paint the walls. I thought I had gotten to the easy part. No such luck.

First, I was tormented. I normally don't have problems picking colors, but I could not decide. Maybe it was because I knew I had so many choices...I could do anything. I waffled back and forth making samples, doubting my choices, and asking friends for advice. The problem was I didn't want to prime the walls. Primer is incredibly toxic in small amounts, but a whole room of it would be risky. I needed and wanted to find a color dark enough to cover the dark olive, but not too dark which would defy the whole purpose of the remodel. I wanted bright, but do I want to be surrounded by brightness? If the color was too light, I would need two coats or two cans of expensive paint. I don't want wimpy baby colors even if they are more popular. I even considered white or a neutral beige. Eeewww...although neutrals wouldn't take away from the floor, they are so bland, boring and NOT cheerful. I want cheerful. How can this be so difficult? 

I did about fifteen tests of different colors and different shades. I finally settled on a beautiful, medium-toned turquoise color which is a complementary color to the amber orange of the wood and matches the rest of the house in tone. So cheerful, bright and happy. I even doubted this choice then decided I can either be paralyzed by indecision and not get my living room livable again, or take a risk and just to get it done. Just do it!

I used a paint from Rodda Paints called Horizon. The same paint I used in all the other rooms for the last fifteen years. It normally dries in about two hours with no smell. I bought a gallon of white first and redid the closet. 

I bought a small sample container. The first thing I noticed is the first test of the turquoise sample and the second test of the turquoise sample didn't match. The second test seemed darker and brighter. How can this be if they came from the same container? Maybe it was the light? Then after doing a second wall I questioned this, took a brush full of paint and painted a line over the first sample. It IS brighter and darker! How did that happen? Why is the same sample of paint changing shades? I wondered if I did something wrong? Did I not mix the paint well enough?

I already bought the gallon and since it matched the darker brighter shade and I wanted the lighter turquoise, I mixed some white into the gallon until it matched perfectly and then I added some blue-green! I could help myself. I repainted that wall.

Then I noticed on another wall where I painted the edges and corners was darker than the surface where I used a roller. Clearly the sample and the gallon are different shades. Maybe the two brands of paint are different? Or paint brush and roller cause different shades? I've never experienced this with any other paint and I paint a lot! I repainted that wall.

THEN I noticed where yesterday's rolled painted surface and today's rolled painted surface overlapped, both from the same one gallon of paint. They are DIFFERENT SHADES OF TURQUOISE! GOD DAMN IT! I don't understand how paint from the same container can be two different colors!

By that time I was out of paint so I couldn't repaint ALL the walls and if I attempted to buy more paint, I wasn't convinced it wouldn't be a totally different color and I'd have to repaint the whole room! I thought maybe it just needs time to cure since the first painting session was 24 hours old. I waited until the next morning...no, it still two different tones. DAMN. 

I did not prime the walls first. Primer is incredibly toxic so I like to avoid it if I can. I do wonder if that caused the darker olive underneath to mess with the colors causing different tones. I also think the sample color was incorrect due to previous experiences with that store. I have no idea. It also says on the can that two coats is required. I didn't do two coats except for the re-painted walls. The variations are so subtle it's hardly noticeable, but I did use what was left of the can to try to repaint the wall most obvious. It looks fine.

The paint took DAYS not hours to stop stinking. Was it the color that was toxic? I know adding color to low-VOC paints makes them more toxic. Maybe turquoise is just toxic? Or does Horizon have a new formula? The white stunk, too. I don't know. I hesitate to recommend it now since it used to be very non-toxic. I think I'll name the living room "Toxic Turquoise."

THEN I noticed I dripped drops of paint ON MY NEW FLOOR! I had at least 99% of the floor protected with cardboard, sheets and plastic, but the tiny part not covered gets drops of paint on it! I don't even know where that white paint came from as I painted the closet before the floor was done. So I sanded it off and refinished those spots.

DONE! I LOVE THESE WALLS!!

Its former self.

The Happiness Room

Bright and cheerful. Even when the lights are all off, the walls glow and I love having the brightness. At night the lamp light makes the floor glow gold. It makes me so incredibly happy to look at it. I've renamed it "The Happiness Room." 

Then to tackle the floors in the closet and at the front door. They are covered in linoleum. The front door area seems to have only subfloor and not fir. I don't know about the closet. I did not want to struggle removing the linoleum and the glue so I left it, it's the closet after all. Who cares? I considered laying tile over the front door floor, but having run out of money long ago I decided the next best thing...paint! This might be fun?

I started by testing ideas on the closet floor. No one is going to see it unless I decide to vacuum with guests in the house. (This is where I store my vacuum.)

I thought the design might need browns to match the fir floor. I hate brown. What was I thinking? But I liked the design idea.

After much consideration, I chose rock painting designs in colors I enjoy: in three shades of turquoise, green, purple, aqua, pink, white and red (to match the door). I used all my sample paints. I covered it with the floor finish and I hope this works. It's says on the can it can be used on paint, but it also says it shouldn't be used on linoleum. I did worry as I applied it would start bubbling or peeling the paint but no such drama occurred. Well, if it doesn't work, I can always tile over the whole thing. It's fun (and scary) to be adventurous!

This was the design I had hoped to paint the porch, but I did the porch just after the virus so I didn't feel I had the energy. So joyful. 

Then the molding...Ten years ago I removed an old wall heater from this area and they had cut out the molding so I've had a hole in the molding for the last ten years. I patiently looked in architecture reclamation stores for antique molding but there was never anything I could use that would match. So I got a bright idea, better late than never but I'm not sure why it too me so long to think out of the box: find a piece of wood that is the right size and sand the beveled edge to match. That proved to be a challenge as it seems most wood is 1/4" or 3/4ths " smaller than what old houses have. I finally found wood! Sanded the beveled edge and painted. Hooray!

I was so happy with that I bought a bunch more wood and added molding to the whole closet!

ALL DONE! Well, sort of...

Of course, now all my old furniture looks dull and lifeless next to the floor and wall. All my decorations, pillows, painted objects, wall paintings, and accessories don't match. I knew this would happen which is why I put off this remodeling project for so long. I removed almost everything, shoved it all in a closet until the next garage sale, and kept just the bare minimum. I plan to design a table, paint a lamp, recover a footstool and find things that match, slowly and inexpensively. What I didn't expect is I have no desire to put anything on the walls! I don't want to cover them! I do plan to paint some paintings for the room. Eventually. Maybe. Does this mean I get to go shopping?

I'm looking forward to the next lockdown now that I have a happiness space. And maybe I'll paint my office a bright shade of purple next?