The Year End Assessment, or, What an Awesome Year!

Happy New Year! 2015 came and went. Fast. Did it go as quickly for you as it did for me? It's now time for reflection and personal assessment. I've been doing this every year since 1987 and it's always an interesting learning experience.

GOOD STUFF:

1) My blog...which serves as therapy, community, and entertainment.

2) My house...with it's newly stained fence, crazy painted porch, and outstanding garden. I'm so thankful to have a safe place to live (relatively speaking) that provides lots of fun and entertainment!

3) ZIPPY! After years of shopping, I finally found and bought a car that's more like a large dog that doesn't bark, poop, stink, have fleas or beg. It goes where I want, when I want. Very obedient and oh so cute! My gratitude is overwhelming.

4) My polka dot chair and table...makes me feel like a party is always at my house. Next year I plan to paint more polka dots! On everything!

5) I FEEL WONDERFUL! My health has improved by leaps and bounds. I rarely have any noticeable fatigue and I have enough energy for life. I finally found the secret: stick to the diet, no cheating, and no overeating as that also creates inflammation and taxes the thyroid. As Dr. Kharrazian says, "It's not just what you eat, it's HOW you eat."  Hooray for progress!

6) My fragrance-free friends, both online and offline. THANK YOU FOR KEEPING ME SANE.

7) Money. I love money. With energy comes money. With money comes security. With security comes less stress. With less stress comes better health. With better health comes happiness. Money is good.

Hmmmm?

Re-Friending. This was both fantastic and traumatizing so it's under neutral or questionable or hmmmm?. Reconnecting with old friends at first was really fun and exciting! I love finding out what people have done with their lives. With so much catching up to do, most of them emailed consistently at the beginning. We laughed until we cried. We confessed mistakes and regrets. We shared life goals and health challenges. It was nice reconnecting with my former life and wonderful to have pen pals...for a short time.

Peopling my life isn't without challenges. One friend only wanted to send me short headlines of self-centered drama every couple weeks without shared conversation. "My Son's Back in Prison." "My Daughter is a Meth Addict." "My Brother is Dead."  If it wasn't so disturbing it might have been entertaining.  It ended up just being exhausting as I kept wanting to fix her life, but I realized after a while there was no solution to any of it. Another old friend did the same thing. She never emailed, but if I emailed her in hopes of inspiring her to email, her excuses were surgery, family problems, and then finally cancer. Then she'd post photos of herself with friends shopping at the mall looking quite healthy and unstressed. Hmmm?

Some refused to email at all. One kept sending me her email addresses repeatedly with "I look forward to our reconnection" and that was it. Right around the time of my high school reunion, several ex-friends followed me on Facebook in lieu of friending because I have that option blocked. When I wrote to them to tell them I really don't do Facebook, but I'd love to hear from them and catch up via email, they immediately un-followed me and disappeared. LOL! So much for the value of ex-friendship. Do they really want to connect or am I just a Facebook number, a trophy, someone who will tell them they are beautiful when they post their daily selfie? I don't know if all the disappointment was worth it. Nearly all reconnections eventually disconnected with the confession they really don't like to email. Oh well....

Email communication was great, but I didn't stop there! A few of the new ex-friends made an effort to visited or we went places for fun! It was so glorious not to feel so isolated. So grateful for human contact I let my guard down and stopped reminding people they need to be fragrance free. One by one encounters became toxic with people walking into my house saturated in stinky laundry detergent, on-the-road bathroom hand soap, or some unidentified stink. Some people just didn't get it or couldn't smell it so they had no clue.

Aside from the stress and frustration it caused, I viewed this as a opportunity to practice patience. For someone who is perpetually impatient and irritable as a side-effect of chemical poisoning, this has been quite a challenge. I resisted the urge to scream at them, HOW CAN YOU BE SO THOUGHTLESS? I avoided the impulse to sarcastically berate them in writing, HOW CAN YOU BE SO STUPID? I abstained from being disrespectfully unfriendly, ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME? I took a step back (and out of their air space) in each instance and let the anger wash over me and reminded myself these people don't deal with stinky poisons on a daily basis like I do.  I taught myself how not to burn bridges with my vile tongue. I was so thankful for people who wanted to visit and TRY to be fragrance-free I took too many risks. As a consequence I'd be forced to go to bed for hours if not days feeling so ill I couldn't function. It's been a great learning experience. YES! I can be around real people and not kill anyone, but it's exhausting. It's easier to be a hermit. There is a reason I've exiled myself out in the middle of no where - a place people do not want to visit. It's less tempting and less compromising. I've kind of given up on the search for new friends...for now...and I'm thankful for my isolation.

Anyway, yes, some set backs, but I prefer to concentrate on the positive experiences. People can make life really enjoyable!

BAD STUFF:

1) Health care and mystery pain. Too many useless, expensive doctors wanting to do too many unnecessary, expensive tests with no answers and no solutions. I got really tired being quoted $1300 for labs only to be told after I complained loud enough that, OH! there is a discount and I guess we can give that to you for only $500. What is with these two-tiered health care costs? If they think they can get away with it, they will. I finally self-diagnosed myself and things have been improving. Whether my self-diagnoses are accurate is anyone's guess, but my assumptions can't be worse than the ignorant opinions of doctors with dollars signs in their eyes who all contradicted each other!

2) Useless insurance coverage. My insurance decided I wasn't paying enough money through the health care exchange and refuse claims without telling me. Nine months later one of my doctors contacted me to let me now this is what they were doing. When finally questioned, they said it's not their job to communicate with the customer as the customer should call them if there is a problem. Of course, they were taking the money I was paying, just not providing the service according to my contract. I wrote to anyone who mattered included every political representative in my area voicing my displeasure with the health care system demanding an apology from the insurance company. I was immediately informed by the powers-that-be I WAS paying the correct amount and after a month of bureaucratic bullshit, the insurance company sent a written apology and resumed service. The apology was really surprising! Needless to say, they are no longer my insurance company. When are we getting single payer insurance coverage? This corporate sleaziness has got to go.

However, for 2015, the Good far outweighs the Bad. It's been an excellent year!

New Year's Resolutions: Vote for the presidential candidate who supports universal health care (that's NOT Hillary!), maybe next year I'll finally get to move, and NO DOCTORS if I can possibly help it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I wish everyone much joy and happiness in 2016.

Fasting

I'm feeling great these days. Better than I have for a long time. I am wondering since my DNA mutations indicate drug metabolism issues if all that thyroid drug is being horded in my liver. I am still experiencing inflammation which presents itself as an intense burning itch just under my skin. It got really bad when I was on the drugs even brought back the vaginal fires of hell for a day. Now it's mostly at night. So I thought, How can I detox my liver and get rid of the excess drug?

Granted, this is a risk. It could be all that drug stored in my liver is what is keeping my energy levels stable. I am feeling great! Do I want to compromise that?

I decided inflammation is never good. It can do all kinds of bad things to your body. I decided I would do the fast in Datis Kharrazian's book Why Do I Still Have Thyroid Symptoms? It's his advice to detox the liver every now and then for optimum thyroid function and if you are taking thyroid hormone medications, so they will work more efficiently. It's four days of drinking just fresh, organic lemon juice, water and Grade B maple syrup. It's the Master Cleanse without the cayenne.

I've done the Master Cleanse and it definitely cleanses. Although all directions say you must sip the drink all day long to avoid a blood sugar crash and avoid hunger, I am STILL hungry. One day of hunger is all I can handle.

Yesterday I lemonade-fasted for one day. Kharrazian says if you are hypoglycemic you will feel really poorly, but if you are insulin intolerant you will feel great as your digestive system is being given a rest from food. I felt fine, just hungry. My back also itched all day. In the evening I ate a simple green salad with carrots, onions, peppers, zucchini, lettuce and orange juice. I also ate some sardines since they are incredibly high in selenium and calcium and I was hoping the protein would counteract any blood sugar issues. I slept fine.

Today the inflammation doesn't seem to be as bad as it was and my back still itches, but I woke up with really low blood sugar, very tired, like I hadn't eaten for a whole day, or in this case eight hours. I also felt slightly nauseous until I drank some water. This is a common symptom of adrenal fatigue, but I realize it was probably my body just needing sustenance. I ate protein for breakfast.

Not sure if it did as much good as I would have liked. Maybe if I wanted to subject myself to lemonade for four straight days it might have, but I hate being hungry.

NOTE TO SELF: NO MORE FASTING! Yeah, it's good to give your liver a vacation, but the problem is my liver never wants to go back to work! Now after every meal I feel really sick and get a headache. It doesn't matter what I eat. I'm also waking up in the morning feeling sick. Not good. And it didn't really do anything about the inflammation. I read recently someone said serious detoxification should not be done by those who are autoimmune as it creates problems. Hmmm...OK.

Hashimoto's Thyroiditis

One of the few advantages of being chemically sensitive is my immune system kicked into overdrive - I never get sick. No colds, no viruses, no flu, no sore throats. I can have sick people sneeze all over me and still I never get sick. When my first environmental medicine specialist explained my immune system was in overdrive, I remember thinking to myself how convenient, and then, that can't be good. Somewhere down the road I was going to pay for the extra energy my hyperactive body was expending to keep me well.

I was feeling tired anyway and assumed it was because I was under so much stress while working at the school that poisoned me. Some of the doctors I saw looked at my blood labs and told me I was fine. "But, but, what about that TSH thing? What is that and why is it high and out of range?" "Oh, no, you're fine," said the quacks still practicing medical theories from the 1950s. OK. I'll take that. I needed some good news.

A few years later I found someone on an online MCS support group with twelve years more seniority and experience dealing with chemical sensitivity. She had thyroid problems and was seeing Dr. William Rea, renowned environmental medicine specialist who is at the forefront of the latest treatments for MCS. She told me thyroid issues are common for the chemically sensitive. Chemicals mess with our hormone levels, in general, and we are more susceptible to these fluctuations. "Just wait!" she said. Great. Something to look forward to. This made me seriously question the competency of the doctors I had already seen who told me I was fine.

Tired of being tired, I eventually found a doctor who also questioned the TSH lab in conjunction with the complaints I had of not only fatigue, but exhaustion. Utter exhaustion. Exhaustion so profound there would be times I couldn't move even to raise my arm. She did the antibody testing for Hashimoto's.

I'd never heard of Hashimoto's. It's one of the most common autoimmune diseases and although said to run in families, no one in my family has this. My immune system is attacking my thyroid creating hypothyroidism or low functioning thyroid. Most people who have hypothyroidism are not diagnosed. They just continue their lives feeling tired, run down, depressed, and drinking lots of caffeine to keep going. Of those who ARE tested and diagnosed with hypothyroidism, most have Hashimoto's although few are tested or diagnosed for this. Why not? Most doctors believe the only treatment for Hashimoto's is thyroid medication and if the thyroid labs are already showing low function, why bother with the antibody test since it's the same treatment? In other words, doctors are lazy idiots who prefer to cut corners instead of find answers. Making patients well would affect their bottom line!

When I heard I had an autoimmune disease my first thought was, OK, this is it. This is what happens when your immune system becomes hyperactive. I wasn't surprised. I guess I was waiting for some indication my immune system was wacko. I was given thyroid drugs which did nothing except make me incredibly sick. I would have thought at least I'd lose weight or feel less tired as a benefit, but no, I was still tired and still chubby. I gave up the pills although I was told I had to be on medication because if my thyroid levels become too out of balanced, I could have a heart attack and die! Jeez. Nothing like a little fear to push you into a drug addiction.

I didn't buy into the drug therapy anyway. Hypothyroidism is a SYMPTOM of Hashimoto's, it's not the cause. WHY does everyone want to treat the symptom? Even naturopathic doctors want to give me thyroid drugs without addressing the cause of my autoimmune disease. Of course, I was already convinced chemicals were the cause of autoimmune diseases and I was already doing whatever possible to alleviate my chemical load and avoid exposures. There had to be more to this. Half-ass answers weren't going to help. Typical medical protocols weren't making sense. What's new?

My labs were never outlandish. Most people I read about have labs in the double, triple, or even quadruple digits. My cholesterol was higher than normal as I'd always had low cholesterol. I found out this is another indication of hypothyroidism along with depression, weight gain, skin dryness, constipation, forgetfulness, hair thinning and loss, gravelly voice, and increase infection. Thankfully, I only had the fatigue and high cholesterol. (Later, I also found out slow heartbeat, lack of perspiration and cracked heels are also symptoms, which I had.) More importantly, the paralyzing episodes of exhaustion were a concern. I began researching online and read every book on Hashimoto's and hyperthyroidism I could get my hands on. Not very many had any answers. Same old theories from decades ago. I tried that drug. And that one. And that one. I needed something new, some out-of-the-box-thinking.

Then a friend of mine told me about Dr. Datis Kharrazian's book Why Do I Still Have Thyroid Symptoms When My Lab Tests Are Normal. She has been on for thyroid drugs for years constantly in search of answers and she thought it might give me some answers as well. I found his website and blog www.thyroidbook.com or www.drknews.com discussing his diet protocols and various theories and other private websites with bloggers writing about their dietary changes and experiences. DIET. OK, I can do a diet. This addresses CAUSE, not just SYMPTOM. I felt hopeful for the first time in a long time.

His theory is gluten is the culprit. I had the gliadin tests which showed negative. I didn't have a gluten sensitivity. According to Dr. Kharrazian, it doesn't matter. Gluten is evil and most people can't digest it efficiently. In response, the immune system registers undigested gluten and goes crazy trying to get rid of the poison. It also thinks thyroid tissue is gluten because of their similar structure. More importantly, an immune response to gluten can last up to six months AND any little amount of gluten that is eaten can start the process all over again with a three week guarantee of a reaction, minimum. Although I had considered myself gluten-free for the last year, I cheated a lot. With each cheat, I was put right back at the beginning and getting no results. Most people eat gluten daily.

The Gluten Monster

In addition, other foods create health issues that put stress and strain on the thyroid by creating inflammation or blood sugar issues such as hypoglycemia or insulin resistance. These include sweeteners of any kind, other grains, dairy products, saturated oils, legumes (dried beans, carob, soy and peanuts), lectins (potatoes, mushrooms, and tomatoes), highly-contaminated meats (shellfish, and pork), and high glycemic foods such as bananas, watermelons, mangoes or dried fruits. Chocolate, although on the forbidden list because it's processed and is usually made with sugar, is also a gluten cross-reactor. Some foods trigger autoimmune responses because they act like gluten in your digestive tract. (Chocolate is evil!)

Every food item should be as wholesome, fresh and chemically-free as possible. Iodine-rich foods and supplements (like kelp) which are a common holistic treatment for hypothyroidism excite the thyroid gland and trigger an autoimmune response. I also found out most thyroid medications have iodine added. Just for that extra kick. No wonder why the drugs were making me feel worse! And although these drugs are known for weight loss, they can also make a chemically sensitive person gain weight. I love what doctors don't tell you...or don't know.

Unfortunately, all those forbidden foods were part of my normal diet. What the HELL was I going to eat?

I didn't care. It was hope. I'd much rather control my food than take useless drugs that would rob my bank account and not work. I'd give it six months and see what happens....

...To Be Continued....