Heating

Portrait of Misery

My heating system is making me sick. In preparation for the arrival of winter, I turned it on and within two hours I felt like I had a horrible case of flu, bronchitis, and pneumonia all rolled into one. Breathing became difficult, my sinuses hurt, my throat felt like it was on fire, my neck swelled, my ears congested, my face rash returned, and my head began to pound. Maybe I'm just sick? It's like I'm in constant denial although I've been dealing with this same "sickness" every winter since I moved into this house. Every October when I turn on the heat it's the same nightmare and I spend months waiting desperately for May to arrive so I can turn the heat off again. This year the illness came much faster and was twice as bad as any previous year. I turned the heat off and it nearly all went away.

I've been calling around interviewing heating repair people and getting ideas. Is it ozone caused by a haywire filtering system? Or do the air ducts need to be inspected, cleaned and sealed because they are sucking in the dust, mold, and rat shit from under the house? The public utilities department gives rebates to have the duct sealing done and this seems like the most likely scenario. Sounds like a good plan until I started asking the right questions.

First and foremost, the duct repair guy doesn't wear perfume or scented products. I'm not sure he knows what scented products means, but at least he acted like he understood the question.

I tell the him when I had the heat off all summer if there was a wind outside I could feel it coming through the vents. He says the ducts must be compromised, in other words, there is a hole somewhere. I confessed Santy Claws was living under my house last Christmas and he started moaning. It's not a good sign when the heating guy starts moaning. Yeah, I already knew opossums are known for trashing heating systems. Yeah, I know they poop all over creating a bacterial health hazard. Yeah, I know this could mean lots of money. I didn't mention rats or mold to him. I was afraid he'd start crying. Moaning was bad enough. I did warn him about the cayenne pepper all over. (Someone told me cinnamon also works to deter rodents and spiders! I can't believe it would be as good as cayenne. I would think rats would like something that smells like bakery goods.)

What is use to seal the ducts? Mastic sealant. Oh, you know the stuff that offgases methanol, ethylene glycol, and ammonia from two weeks to six months.

What about duct replacement materials saturated in formaldehyde. Oh great. I am doomed.

Here it is. If I repair this heating system there might be a chance it would render me homeless. An option would be to have the whole heating system re-done and go to radiant heat, but do I really want to spend that kind of money on a house I want to sell? Do I have a choice since moving right away is not an option. The new owners will have the ducts cleaned, sealed, and have no problem. Can I live without central heat for the next couple years until I sell it? It's gonna get cold!

Pondering the options.

What a hassle.

'Possum Wrangling Retirement...Correction: SEMI-RETIREMENT!

Not a peep out of any opossum since the day after I shipped Santy Claws out to the hinterlands. I'm a little disappointed. I was hoping to catch a second opossum so Santy Claws would have his friend with him. No noise. No sightings. I can only imagine the second opossum must have realize after that first night Santy Claws was missing and went looking for him, leaving for good. Or something else was making the noise and I have no idea what it was.

I hope it's all over. I removed the trap and will soon return it to my neighbor. Hopefully for good.

Well, that lasted a few days!  I notice something is adjusting the netting again so either the friend of Santy Claws was here checking on him or something else knows about the hole. Here we go again! It feels like my fortress is under siege. The Winter War. Last night I put the trap back out there right next to the hole and found nothing to show for my efforts the next morning. So frustrating.

The Hole. Hmmm.... Years ago I hired a crawlspace/insulation person to put screening under the house to keep the critters out. Today, as a last ditch effort to secure the perimeter,  I got desperate, donned a very un-fashionable construction-man jumpsuit, hat, gloves, goggles, boots and using an extension cord with a light bulb on the end of it ventured under the house. Nasty place. It's like evil lives there. Dark, damp, cobwebs with big ugly spiders and remnants of things they've devoured. And then there is the cayenne pepper I've thrown all over in hopes of sanctifying the evil and discouraging the creepy crawlies. Sure enough one of the critters figured out how to bend the screen back to create a nice little hole to slip through. I plugged it up with bricks and readjusted the screen.  I feel fortunate to have survived the expedition.

Then I sneezed for the next hour while my eyes watered uncontrollably. I'm not sure why Santy Claws doesn't care about the cayenne pepper?

Update: Not a peep. I think the war has been won.

Pest Control

My neighbor is afraid of bugs so he has a professional pest control company spray his house down once a week. Can you imagine?  He seems to think over-spraying works, but his rationale makes no sense if he needs to spray constantly because the bugs keep coming back. I told him they were reproducing and creating giant, resistant mutants that can't be killed. Unfortunately, that makes him want to spray twice as often. I'm sure I gave him nightmares. Next time I'll tell him the chemicals will make his boy parts fall off....

I once lived in a basement apartment with giant spiders. The landlord seemed to have a bug fetish and wouldn't help, but what could he do that wouldn't kill me, too? Between August and October when the weather would change and spidey mating season would start, I'd see around 30 skittering over the floor in the course of the season. They were fast, ugly and BIG! About the size of my palm. I lived in fear and fear can be very motivating. The thing about bugs, they've been around forever so the trick is to find repellents that have been used since the beginning of time, back Before Chemicals (B.C.).

Actual Size

I read spiders don't like scent. Smart critters. Any scent. When I found this out I developed a new-found admiration for the creepy crawlies. The year I tried peppermint oil I saw only two spiders. It was nice - smelled like candy canes. My tolerance for essential oils has decreased since then and now I have to be careful with them as well, but I can spray  outside and under the house with no problem. Now I see maybe two spiders a year and they are of the small-ish variety.

Another miracle pest repellent is cayenne pepper. In the same apartment I had an ant infestation. They made an ant hill out in the garden and decided they liked my patio. The landlord loved ants, too. He was so incredibly useless.  So I started experimenting with various historical insect control methods. Finally I laid a line of cayenne pepper around my patio and they disappeared. Not much messes with cayenne.

I currently live near a river and when I first moved here everyone told me I'd eventually have rodents at some point. Feeling charitable toward wildlife,  I bought a bird feeder and started feeding the birds. What a mistake! The ratties were grateful and stored up a winter supply of bird feed. That winter I could hear them gnawing at my walls. It echoed through the house at night. Good lord, I felt helpless! I was so grateful they never got in the house, but they always sounded like they were within a half inch from breaking through. <shiver> Someone scared me to death and said they can nibble on the electrical wires and burn down a house.  I also read a rat shit is a theory for the cause of breast cancer. Jeez. I tried traps, but I'd find them triggered with the food gone. Poisons killed them off, but their dead bodies stunk up the house for three weeks  and a new tribe would move in the next week and continue the gnawing. Besides I'm opposed to poisons and with Peter running free I fear he'll somehow get into it and die a horrible death. If there is any way possible, I prefer to keep pests away rather than kill them. Even rats. So I started putting cayenne pepper around and under the house with the peppermint oil.  No more ratties! I go to Winco or Costco and buy it in bulk.

Actual Size

I lived in Arizona a few years back. It was the first time I'd ever seen a cockroach.  I swear it was the size of a cat. And friendly! It came skittering toward me one day, and stopped. I think it was waiting for me to feed it. When they skitter at night it sounds like they are tap dancing. Normally I would have been impressed. I tried everything to get rid of them. Yes, them...he brought the rest of his family. Finally I read boric acid does the trick, but you have to dust it lightly in corners because cockroaches are smart. And clean. They prim and wash themselves like cats. So when they walk in the boric acid dust, it gets on their little legs, they lick and die. Also, check to see where they are coming in: around sink drains, under counters and plug up any holes you find.  A construction trick down in Arizona is to put boric acid under the foundation. It'll kill anything including termites. The problem is you can't use it freely if you have pets or children. It'll kill them, too.

Garden pests are discouraged with things like soap (Planet Ultra Dishwashing Liquid, the All-Purpose Miracle Soap!), onion/garlic tea and cayenne pepper. I am very careful with these home remedies in the garden because I don't want it to chase the good bugs away so I don't do too much.  Companion planting keeps the plants strong so they can resist invaders on their own and there are some plants that deter bugs so I grow them around plants that need extra protection.  

Slugs...Why did the universe make slugs? I don't see their purpose in the grand scheme of things. I've tried salt, beer, copper, garlic, tomato leaves, pine needles, killing them by hand with a sharp instrument, drowning them in water, and talking sweetly to the snakes and black beetles so they stay in my yard and eat them. I almost got some ducks then decided the ducks would cause more damage than the slugs. It was a full-time job. Finally someone told me about Sluggo which is iron phosphate and supposedly certified organic. It works quite well.

For aphids, if there aren't enough ladybugs or ants helping out, I've used Planet Ultra Dishwashing Liquid, the All-Purpose Miracle Soap. Most bugs don't like soap as it suffocates them and Planet is scent-free so it's not going to suffocate me. Also, aphids don't like chives so grow chives around your rose bushes.

I have a rabbit and I've read wild rabbits that will move into your yard and destroy your grass and plants won't go near cayenne pepper. I thought I'd try it so if I wanted to keep Peter out of a particular garden, this might work. Fifteen minutes after I applied it, I found bunny boy sitting in it. Maybe Peter is just a goof ball? His eyes did get watery, but it doesn't seem to faze him. Maybe it gives him a thrill? Rabbit masturbation?

I used to love cats, then I moved where over-breeding is an epidemic. Many of the neighbors have cats that breed incessantly, and the litters from the previous season all have their own kittens. One house nearby has a minimum of eighteen new kittens every spring and they do nothing to control it.

You know cats don't crap in their own yards - they go to the neighbors'. I have vegetable gardens and nothing disgusts me more than the thought of eating food grown in parasite-contaminated cat shit. Pregnant women are advised not to garden unless they want to give birth to brain-dead babies because of these parasites. And then there is the smell and mess. UGH! Be sure to always wear gloves while gardening. I sometimes catch cats sleeping in my bunny's sleeping places which is incredibly irritating since the rabbit can't find many other rest places. Damn free-loading cats giving my bunny fleas and worms!

Cat from Hell

I've tried nearly everything: cayenne, lemon peel, boric acid, peppermint oil.  Two of my neighbors trap cats and "take them away"; another traps and then douses them with cold water. The other neighbor shoots them. Her rule is if they are walking through the yard she uses a bb gun; if they are crapping, a shot gun. I really don't understand cat owners who allow their cats to roam. Besides the cats that spread disease to wildlife (and pet bunnies), they are also subjected to wildlife diseases. Not caring for your cat properly is so irresponsible, but people don't care. It's disgusting. Again, I prefer to keep the pests away than kill them. The only remedy I've found that works for cats is chicken wire and deer netting, but that gives my yard a certain concentration camp look that I don't enjoy. Oh, well.

Anti-Cat Concentration Camp Decor

For people pests, see my post titled, "Home Invasions".

Anyone have any other chemical-free tricks?