I Am a Crack House Photographer

How many people can claim that?

In the past I have written about the need to get a part-time job to fill my time and give my life some balance, but finding one that is fragrance and chemical free is very close to impossible. Most want you to deal with the public in some capacity. Then I came across an ad for "real estate photography". All you needed was a computer, camera, and car. Real estate experience is a plus and I figure since I own my very own money pit, I qualify. They pay a meager amount and you take the allotted number of photos of the property they request. They don't tell you why the photographs need to be taken. I got the impression I shouldn't ask.

One of the requirements of the job is speed. I was told I shouldn't spend more than a minute at any house. Drive up, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, and leave. More recently I was told I shouldn't even get out of my vehicle especially if I'm out in the country, on a dead-end road, and I hear vicious, barking dogs getting closer in an non-lollygagging fashion. I was really happy to find that out. What they didn't tell me is people don't like it when you photograph their house OR their neighbor's house. If there is anything going on that might be questionable or illegal, they assume that is why you are there!  I hope I can drive faster than a speeding bullet!

So far I've been safe. No stink to smell in the privacy of my van. Some of the neighbors glare at me with arms folded and I had one rush toward me demanding to know if he could help me. Obviously he wasn't interested in helping me. I responded with a smile, cheerfully exclaimed, "No thank you!" as I jumped back in my van and tore off down the road. Almost all assignments are for exteriors. I prefer the interior shots since that means no one is living in the house, but they are time consuming as I'm required to photo a minimum of 20 snaps of the interior and then more of the exterior. I still prefer it to risking my life.

The things I do for excitement. Heck, the things I do for fragrance-free money!

Work

Work and being productive is a basic human need and intrinsic to human dignity. It makes us feel valuable, exercises both mind and body, and if we are really lucky, provides security in the form of income. Don't confuse work with job as the former is productivity of any kind and a job is "work for hire" or a responsibility that provides money. Not really the same, but for many it is.

Jobs are great. They pay the bills, keep food on the table, and a roof over your head. Careers are better as the stability guarantees the food and the roof for a longer time. We, as humans, can put up with a lot of drudgery and soul-sucking hell for that stability, dragging ourselves out of bed each morning, suffering any number of indignities as we trudge through each day desperately counting down each hour until the weekend. People who cheer THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY have jobs. This can be work at its worst.

I've worked at jobs most of my life. I often had two jobs at the same time: one for money and one for fun. At one point I had four part-time jobs at the same time. I liked the variety and they were all fun, but part-time usually means no benefits or no insurance. Subsequently I was drawn back to the rat race. I sacrificed authenticity and satisfaction for misery. A high price to pay for income and benefits. All of my jobs were customer service or people-oriented.

When I became chemically sensitive I lost all ability to work with people. I found myself directionless. What do I do now? All past experience and familiar options were forbidden. At one point I was in a store talking to friends telling them how difficult the adjustment was going from four jobs to nothing. One of them said, "Maybe that was the point. The universe is telling you to take a rest." Hmmm...I did. I had no choice.

I was unemployed for about two years and considered disabled so I didn't qualify for unemployment benefits. Time constantly felt like it was running out. Homelessness loomed over my head like a big, black cloud as I watched my bank account dwindle to nothing. During that time I worked. I kept busy. To not be productive was unimaginable as I would have gone crazy with stress and worry. Work kept my mind off my problems and made me feel like I was doing something to move forward. When I wasn't cleaning, reorganizing, or redecorating my home, I wrote letters to various organizations about MCS and researched information on anything of interest. I even volunteered for friends. For one, I wrapped all her Christmas presents and decorated her house with holiday cheer. Another I did her gardening, and another I cut little squares of fabric for her quilting projects. I also helped several people move. I worked full-time all the while brainstorming ways I could turn my unemployment activities to income.

During this unemployment phase, I met with job counselors. Most of them were useless. One wanted me to be a professional babysitter. HA! The ultimate nightmare! Their ignorance of my situation was incredibly frustrating. Job search is challenging all by itself, but job search with lots of restrictions is worse. Not knowing what to do for work is frightening.

I've always heard the perfect job involves doing something you love. I used to take this literally yet wondered how I could turn my hobbies into income. It's not as easy as it sounds. How many people who love to sing or act become famous? How many people who paint make money? How many people can create a mega-business with home projects like Martha Stewart? Dreams don't always translate to money. Now that I'm older and wiser I'm finally figuring out it's not necessarily things you love, but to question how you work best. What kind of work do you love to do that excites your very soul and makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning. This soul-searching isn't easy but it could be the difference between a job you hate and work you love. Making something happen takes a whole lot of work, time, and commitment. When the going gets tough or the money in the bank starts to disappear, many want to give up. Giving up on a new career is easy if you aren't chemically sensitive or disabled as falling back on previous experience is an option.

I spent most of my youth ignoring my dreams and focusing on what would make me money. I choose my college major based on prospective income and security while ignoring my true needs. I interviewed for jobs that were prestigious rather than doing what I would have enjoyed. I ignored who I was and instead focused on who I thought I should be. I wonder how my life would have turned out if I chased dreams instead of money? A lot of those dreams involved chemicals. Would the satisfaction of doing something I loved negated future chemical sensitivity, or would I have been doomed just as easily?

Who knows? All I can do is live my life the best of my ability and keep working today toward a better tomorrow.

Accommodation Activism

I once met a chemically-sensitive woman online who believed she had the right to work at the career of her choice and she had the right to accommodation where ever she went.

OK. I can understand that. In a perfect world, that's how it would work.

She was an office worker with years of experience and education in her field. Unfortunately, every office she went in had employees who wore perfumes and other scented products, copy machines, felt pens, janitorial products, etc. Did this stop her? Nope. She'd apply for the next job, get it, start having health issues, and immediately demand accommodation. If it was slow in coming (and it's always a slow process), she'd contact the EEOC and file complaints. Subsequently, she'd have to quit, go back on disability, lay low until disability ran out, and then she'd start the cycle again.

I have to applaud her fortitude and her desire to affect change, one office at a time, but I don't know where she got the energy to constantly want to fight someone. I don't know why she'd want to put herself in a situation that would compromise her health, over and over and over again. I don't know where she found so many jobs that didn't do a background check or required references from all her previous jobs.  Certainly she'd eventually run out of offices to harass. Well, last I heard she moved to another city.

I'm not sure if she was in denial, stubborn, ignorant, or just an extrovert. I suggested many times to find another career or find a way to work from home, but she claimed she had a right to work in an office like everyone else.  Hey, I've worked in an office. What's the attraction???

OK. Whatever. Have fun. It wouldn't be my kind of fun. One bad accommodation experience was enough to last me a whole lifetime.

Accommodation Denial

Each year brings more understanding about multiple chemical sensitivity which affects the implementation of fragrance-free polices in workplaces and schools. Unfortunately, those organizations with policies are still the minority forcing most chemically-sensitive employees or students into situations where they need to request accommodation. Accommodation may be denied depending on the situation. I'll share my denial experiences, but keep in mind, times are changing and accommodation and workplace flexibility are far more prevalent than they were ten years ago.

I was a new teacher/librarian at the school that poisoned me. Most teachers wore perfume. The principal wore cologne. Everyone sprayed air fresheners to camouflage the stink of mold, bus fumes and new carpet glue. As a librarian and specialist instructor, I saw all staff members and all students every week through scheduled visits. Students would come up to me, point their little wrists toward my nose and say with pride, "I smell just like my teacher." Oh joy.

Around the end of the first month of teaching with my health declining rapidly, I casually mentioned the fragrance issue with the principal as we stood out at the buses. I made an appointment with him to discuss the situation in more detail. He seemed like a really nice guy. I was convinced if he would simply request the teachers and staff to not wear fragrances, I'd be fine. I'd at least survive through the end of the year when I'd find another job. This was my fifth teaching position in my career and the only one that has ever affected my health.

After hearing my concerns instead of being supportive, the principal informed me he didn't have to accommodate me because it was my choice to work there. I wasn't required to stay. I can leave anytime I want. Therefore, accommodation wasn't a requirement. I knew his line of reasoning was backwards, but he was never very smart and usually in a perpetual state of confusion. He somehow skewed disability information or tweaked it for his convenience. I didn't argue because I liked my job and didn't want to lose it.  He also said I wasn't to discuss it with anyone because he didn't want to start a "perfume war". Before the end of the meeting after much coercing, he agreed to look into my problem and get back with me later in the week.

At first I had hope, after all he said he'd look into it. Not about to take anything for granted and since I was the school's librarian skilled at research, I started doing my own research and by the end of the week I had a stack of papers a foot high plus a few books on schools and associated environmental health issues. At the end of the week, having not heard from him as he was trying to avoid me, I literally cornered him in the hallway and asked what he found out. Nothing. He couldn't find a thing on the subject. Oh well. Too bad. As he skirted away as quickly as possible, I followed carrying my stack of research into his office and promptly set it on his desk. I said as sweetly as I could stomach, "Here is the research I did. I'm sure you'll find it very interesting." [You ignorant asshole.]

Life went on. I did everything possible to fly low and avoid being a target. Teachers were on probation during their first year at a new school district. Not only was this job on the line, but my whole teaching career. You don't ever screw up your first year anywhere or you may never work again. As the school year progressed, I got sicker and sicker. It was impossible to keep a low profile when I was required to work directly with smelly people, go to staff meetings, sit in on parent conferences, go to social events, be on committees, and perform the basic duties of a teacher. I even had to use the children's restroom because the staff bathroom was air freshened constantly. Teachers aren't allowed to use children's restrooms due to child sexual abuse laws, but I really didn't have a choice. Restroom breaks became very stressful. I continued to send the principal copies of my research and medical evaluations, including letters of accommodation from various doctors. He continued to ignore me.

Seven months later, I could see the finish line...and then my assistant was promoted to another position. She was going to be replaced. I panicked. Suppose they hire someone who wears perfume? The day she gave notice we received a district newsletter and on the front page was an article for a law firm that specializes in education and employment law. Come on in for a free consultation!

I explained my situation to the lawyer and asked how I might be able to legally request accommodation to assure my new assistant would be fragrance-free. He explained the hiring committee must state at the interview that the position is fragrance-free. If this isn't done and the new perfume-wearing employee is asked to not wear perfume on her first day, she can sue the school for discrimination. How backwards. He offered to write me a letter of accommodation to clearly explain how this hiring practice is implemented. I declined and told him I'd rather write my own as it would be less threatening. He told me exactly what to include.

I sent the letter to the principle via email the next day. Unfortunately, in order to substantiate my information on hiring procedures for my new assistant, I mentioned in the letter that I had met with a lawyer who gave me advice. I thought I was being helpful in order to save time in case he was wondering where I got the information. We were due to start interviewing for the assistant position in a couple days.

Within an hour the principal stormed into my library and cornered me near a bookshelf where I was working, demanded to know why I went behind his back to seek legal counsel when it should have been addressed informally with him so he could take care of it. He was furious. If he wasn't whispering, he would have been screaming at me. My assistant told me later she was watching us, suspiciously, and on the surface everything looked fine, but she had a bad vibe.

I responded to him that I had INFORMALLY addressed the situation over and over and over again for the last seven months and that it had INFORMALLY been swept under the rug and I had INFORMALLY become so sick I could hardly function. WHEN WAS HE INFORMALLY GOING TO DO SOMETHING? I was also whispering, professional, and calm, but I was really furious. After all those months of being sick, stressed out and playing nice it was all I could do to control the rage. He wasn't impressed at my new assertiveness, but he said nothing. He stormed out of the library only to return at the end of the school day to inform me, very formally with the assistant principal in tow as a witness, when my performance evaluation would be held.  I should bring my union representative. I recognized this was the beginning of the end. He was taking steps to get rid of me.

At the performance evaluation my union representative called in sick. He was a useless piece of shit anyway so it was no great loss. The principal told me I didn't get along with anyone, I didn't go to staff meetings, I was lacking in interpersonal communication skills, and I was going to need to complete training courses to increase my productivity to make me a better team player. I was put on notice. If I didn't comply, I would be fired. What was really funny is I had already taken the classes he was requiring at another job. When I informed him, he gave me a dirty look. It really didn't matter what I did, he wanted me gone...this was just the first step.

I should have asked if I was such a horrible employee why he waited seven months to have this meeting. I probably should have asked why chemical sensitivity was never mentioned as the cause of most of his accusations. I didn't. I had had it with his incompetence. I smiled sweetly and pretended to be compliant.

Later than night I returned to the school, packed up all my belongings and walked off the job with no intention of returning. This wasn't a rash move on my part, although it no doubt surprised everyone. I had been meeting with a union representative outside my district who was very experienced and knowledgeable about employee rights, unlike my own union representative who told me there was nothing he could do. She told me if the environment was poisoning me, and no one was taking any steps to rectify the problem, how could I possibly justify staying? In fact, by struggling to maintain my position and continuing to stay in an environment that I claim is killing me, it sends a message that the situation can't be that bad. Good point.

What do you do if you are denied accommodation?

First step is to quit your job. Find something less toxic for income. Find an employer who will accommodate you. Work from home. Is this easy? No. Is it necessary to maintain some glimmer of health? Usually. Change is difficult anyway, but change with income loss is even harder, sometimes unfathomable. Do you really want to be in a situation where you are being poisoned on a daily basis? Watching what's left of your health disintegrate with each new exposure? Don't hang on for months or years hoping for a miracle. Find a job counselor to assess your employable skills and make some changes. What is that saying? When a door closes, a window opens? By being courageous enough to change, you might just find the career of your dreams.

The second step is to sue the asses off the incompetent idiots who refused accommodation. Most understanding of multiple chemical sensitivity is due to lawsuits. Employers don't want to be sued.  Each lawsuit develops precedent which promotes forced awareness and inspires a serious look at accommodation policies, managerial training, and employee handbook procedures. Lawsuits are not just about winning money. They are about affecting change and being taken seriously. Discuss your options with an attorney to ascertain if you even have a case. You might not.  

Accommodating Situations

Every time a chemically-sensitive person asks for accommodation they are affecting change by sharing information and creating awareness of this environmental health issue. In most situations when I have requested accommodation, people have been eager to understand and do what they can to assist. Usually the accommodation is out of the ordinary as well as above and beyond the call of duty. Other times it is minimal due to policy constraints, yet heartfelt. At all times, it's appreciated.

My requests for accommodation always involve trying to avoid the stinky habits of others. Usually I'm begging for a fragrance-free environment either by requesting that others are fragrance-free or brainstorming options so I don't have to be in the same vicinity as the stinkers. The following are some of my more positive experiences requesting accommodation:

Employment I worked for a major retail grocery chain in the customer service department of the corporate office. We were in the basement with no windows and since we were in charge of employee bonuses, our office was top secret and restricted. The doors were never allowed to be unlocked, let alone left open. I worked with twelve fragrance-addicted women. My third week on the job I couldn't figure out why I was getting horribly sick with some strange flu that would go away on the weekends. Finally one Monday as I gasped for air I finally realized was reacting to the overabundance of stink everyone freshly bathed in that morning. Since it was a new job, I was really afraid to say something, but I didn't have a choice. I couldn't breathe and I couldn't open a window. I told my boss, who told her boss, who came charging out of her office, called an impromptu meeting on the spot. She demanded right then and there that everyone stop wearing perfume and made it really clear this was an issue of productivity and teamwork and not personal preference. She even tried to keep the identity of the troublemaker out of it, but that was a little hard to do in a small office. Awesome.

Much later, I was promoted with this job and moved to another state to run my own customer service office. I inherited an assistant who smelled like a French whore. I requested she not wear fragrances to work and she continuously ignored me. I eventually asked my supervisor what to do. I had no idea we had a legal department in the corporate office! I went in for an appointment and the attorney for the company was very clear: If the employee was asked to be fragrance-free by her supervisor, she really doesn't have a choice. They don't want me suing them for lack of accommodation. This was in the early days when my chemical sensitivity was just getting started and it gave me an excellent view of my legal rights from the corporate perspective.

I also worked at a bookstore along with a large staff of silly, minimum-wage grunts, several who wore perfume. One stupid little girl bathed in cologne and laughed like a maniac every time I'd start having a reaction. Management gave me not only my shift of preference, 6am to 10am before the store opened and smelly customers arrived, but also allowed me to do special projects from home. In addition, if for some reason I had any problem in the store, I could leave immediately. Eventually my tolerance petered out and my hours started getting cut back. This was mostly my choice. A few months later I applied for unemployment and I got it! Management didn't even contest it although I did find out later I should never have qualified for unemployment since I had a health condition that prevented me from most employment positions. This experience was an example of management going above and beyond the call of managerial duty. I was a very ineffective employee every time I walked off the job and should have never stayed so long. They still accommodated me to the best of their ability. I'm pretty sure they collectively sighed with relief when I finally quit.

School  One of the colleges I went to has a fragrance-free policy. When I was a student, I wasn't chemically sensitive, but years later I appreciated the forward-thinking atmosphere of their educational environment. This school has been on the cutting edge of everything so it's not surprising. I'm not aware of the steps they take if a student or faculty member wears fragrances to school. I think every public educational institution needs to follow their example.

Jury Duty  At some point you may be summoned to serve your citizenship responsibilities and sit on a jury during a courtroom trial with eleven other possibly stinky people. They send you a notice of when and where your presence is requested with a statement that reads "If you are not able to serve on the day of a scheduled trial, you must contact the Court before trial begins to see if you will be excused from jury duty for that day."  If you need to be excused, you must write why on the line provided. I actually have a form letter I've been using for the past ten years as I get a jury duty summons about once a year from the county and every now and then from the city. I list chemicals and scents I cannot be around, claim disability according to law, and offer accommodation options. I attach the letter of accommodation from my doctor which supports my claims and anxiously await their response. Some courts tell you they will notify you if you are excused; other courts tell you if you are not excused they will contact you. I always sweat this out although I have no idea how they could accommodate me in a room full of people. In my letter I have suggested modern-day options like close-circuit television or online streaming which I think sounds very technologically plausible, BUT according to the law the criminal has the legal right to see the jury, or some such nonsense, so a juror's presence is mandatory. I've always wanted to be on a jury, but missed my opportunity.  I have yet to be required to show. If they ever do require my attendance, they'll have to provide suitable accommodation and, truthfully, with my letter spouting off disability laws, I doubt if they want anything to do with me.

Volunteering I volunteer at my local food co-op doing grunt grocery work: face shelves, stock produce, participate in membership meetings, etc. One of the reasons I got involved is because it affords me the luxury of human contact which is rare in my daily life. The co-op's philosophy is all about health so most employees and customers don't wear perfume and other scents. The shoppers are a little smarter than the average conventional grocery store shopper, but every now and then one comes in reeking and I move to the other side of the store. Management also claims they have a fragrance-free policy, although they can't control shoppers and before I came they didn't attempt to control the employees either. There have been some employees who use smelly hand lotions, etc., but as a member of their volunteer staff I have casually made comments about the stink and how it affects the chemically sensitive. I have become their chemically sensitive disabled person representative. I know they talk to employees because formerly-stinky people are now no longer stinky. Hooray for affecting change, even in small increments! Not all volunteer opportunities will be so accommodating, but I selected an environment that was already health-oriented with inclusivity as one of their mission statements. It's best to pick your battle wisely.

Conferences and Meetings I belong to a professional association that posts their fragrance-free policy for every meeting and conference. I was the one who requested this years ago when I first joined, but at the time many other members thanked me because they, also, had issues with perfumes and other fragrances. Unfortunately, all they can do is post it. Because this is considered an extra-curricular activity that doesn't not affect my livelihood and is not mandatory for existence, they can't enforce it. Although I know they have turned smelly people away, I think if the person wanted to make a stink (pun intended) about it, he or she could probably sue for discrimination. Most attendees have no idea what fragrance-free means. At one conference I had a smelly woman sit right next to me. I asked her if she read the fragrance-free policy and she said she had. I asked her, then why did she stink. She claimed she used Ivory soap and according to the commercials it's safe for babies so it must be fragrance free.  Another person with the crazed look of a drug addict in need of a fix came up to me and demanded to use my hand lotion because she couldn't use hers and it was my fault. I don't use hand lotion so she was out of luck. There have been many instances where I have had to move my seat closer to a door or leave. Most often I just get so fed up with the ignorant people I opt not to attend. Attendance is always a risk. Still, the organizers have tried to make it fragrance-free and all-inclusive regardless of whether I attend or not. I appreciate the effort.

Recreation Find fragrance-free friends who are empathetic and willing to be safe. You can try to change your smelly friends' bad habits, but as I've discussed in previous posts, don't count on it. Instead of the stress and health risks, change your recreational activities and find new friends.

Does anyone have any accommodation experiences they'd like to share?

Accommodation

The Workplace Environment

If you have been medically diagnosed with multiple chemical sensitivity according to most state laws and the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), you are considered disabled. Be sure this diagnosis came with a letter of accommodation that clearly describes your specific condition and your safety needs. Under various disability laws, you have certain rights to accommodation depending on the situation. Is everyone in every situation legally required to accommodate your special needs? No. The two most accommodating environments are workplaces and schools.

Steps to Requesting Accommodation:

1.)  Assess exactly what kind of accommodation you will need in order to safely continue performing your job or educational responsibilities.

What aspects of the environment are causing your symptoms or illness?

Are there ways to rectify the situation and change the environment?

Are there alternative options? A change in location? An adjustment to your schedule in terms of days or hours you work?

Are there standard practices that may be changed? For instance, instead of chemical supplies using non-toxic alternatives.

Would employee policy reforms restricting the use of personal hygiene products help?

The Presentation of Options

To the best of your ability detail the exact steps needed to be taken to make your work or school environment safe. This will involve an honest evaluation of your health in relation to your situation. In some cases, no accommodation will work. Be realistic and be reasonable.

 

2.) Review company or institutional policies so you have an understanding of the organization's level of flexibility and limitations.

3.) Review and research state and federal accommodation laws regarding your situation. Seek assistance from the Americans With Disabilities Act (www.ada.gov), the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (www.eeoc.gov), the Environmental Protection Agency (www.epa.gov) and if you belong to a union, contact your union representatives. Not only will representatives from these organizations know the laws and pertinent information to your specific situation, but relationship building with key individuals may provide you with a valuable support system.



The Angels of Accommodation

4.) Meet with a lawyer, preferably one who specializes in employment law or civil rights law. Find one who will not charge you for the initial consultation, who may potentially take a case pro-bono, and who has experience with chemical sensitivity and accommodation. Ask about accommodation laws in conjunction with your situation. This lawyer may offer to write a letter to support your accommodation request or attend any meetings you may have with your supervisors. Take a rain check. Not only will they charge you through the nose for these services, you don't want to bring in the big guns. You only want their basic, legal advice at this point. (More on lawyers later....)

The Chemically Sensitive Employees Afraid
To Be Identified
(See the look in their eyes?)

5.) Find out who else would benefit from accommodation such as fellow employees, students, customers, clients, support staff, etc. Find out if anyone has requested accommodation. How was it received? Do this carefully, conversationally, and informally as personal research. Many people worry about job security and will not speak with you for fear you'll give their name to their supervisors risking their positions. Be confidential and trustworthy.

6.) Meet with your supervisor or school administrator to discuss your needs and options. Be prepared for scenarios for acceptance and assistance or denial and hostility, and everything in between.  Be open-minded and professional with an attitude of collaboration. Take detailed notes and listen carefully. Do the conversational contributions indicate they have experience with accommodation requests? Are they open? Are they clueless? Are they feeling threatened? Listen. The clues will help you strategize your plan of action.

The Accommodation Request
(Don't forget your sword!)

7.) Write a letter requesting accommodation. Clearly describe your environment, health issues, and possible options for accommodation. Attach your doctor's letter of accommodation requirements and any other correspondence from supportive healthcare experts.

8.) Meet with your supervisor or school administrator. Take your letter of accommodation, lists of accommodation options, and any research information you deem might be helpful. For instance, without naming names, let them know how many other employees/staff/students would benefit from accommodation. Assume the authority will invite backup personnel to your meeting to serve as witnesses. Do the same. Take along someone from your support system if available: someone from the ADA, EEOC, or your union.

9.) Keep detailed records of every step you take. Keep track of dates and times of contacts and information given.

Steps NOT to take:

The Legal Crusader

1.) Seek legal counsel for information only. Don't threaten authority with legal retribution. Threats can make authority defensive and less than willing to assist. Avoid divulging that you are even meeting with a lawyer or authority may panic, refuse to continue negotiations and arm themselves with their own lawyers. Also, once you get accommodation, you don't want to return to a hostile work or school environment nor be labeled as a troublemaker. It doesn't make for very good working relations. 

2.) Don't be argumentative, rude, disrespectful or entitled at any point no matter how frustrated or ill you are feeling. Your negative attitude will negate and dilute the focus of your request. Maintain an attitude of professionalism and intelligence.

3.) Give only the facts. Do not include excessive, unnecessary information based on emotion, hearsay, or conjecture. Assume everything you write or say will be recorded and possibly used against you later.

Chemically Sensitive Troops

4.) Don't rally the troops by enlisting support from fellow employees and students. This creates an us against them mentality that can backfire. At this point you want a collaborative solution where all parties are working for the betterment of each other. By finding out who else might need accommodation, you may use this as a form of statistical analysis when approaching authority during the initial meeting, but don't imply you've been gathering support (before you declare war) or you'll be seen as a troublemaker negating the positive spirit of the workplace. Don't make them feel defensive or they will decide they have no reason to help you. Once it's viewed as a war, sides are taken and boundaries drawn. It's difficult to reestablish trust.

For someone who doesn't want to rock the boat, being this proactive is not easy. Getting to the point where you are sick all the time and unable to be a productive employee, yet desperately wanting to keep your job will force you into action in hopes of rectifying the situation. Desperation is a great motivator. I have heard of MCSers experiencing harassment from fellow employees who purposely make their lives a living hell by not only wearing perfume, but squirting it on the person's work station or body. Anger is a great motivator, too.

Hissssss. Spit. Hisssss.

In most cases, your employer or school administration will bend over backwards to help, especially if they are in anyway competent when in comes to managing people. The inept employer or school administrator will deny accommodation and in some cases refuse to discuss it regardless of your presentation or proactivity. They just don't want to deal with it.

Good luck!

All in the Family

I chose not to get married and have kids at a very early age because I expected I would live a single woman's life of adventure. I was told as a young girl I didn't NEED to get married because I had too much going for me. This was the most influential advice of my life and given to me by a woman in a very bad marriage. At the time I made the assumption this very sad wife must have needed to get married and I vowed I'd never be so needy.

As women, we have lived with the stigma of past social norms and traditional gender roles. Men provided and women managed the home. Women weren't expected to provide for themselves because it was thought they were incapable of independence. Although these ideas are slowly becoming outdated and archaic, so many women still marry for security rather than love.

When I became chemically sensitive, I temporarily lost my ability to support myself and I was forced to sacrifice much of my lifestyle to be healthy. It was frightening to feel so alone and vulnerable and it changed forever my perception of self-reliance and security. I now understand the feeling a woman might have to NEED to marry. How nice it would be to have a man to care for me and support me. No stress over not being able to work and pay the bills. Someone to shop for me. Someone to do home improvements and maybe a little car maintenance. I understand it now. Idealistically, I envision a house full of supportive family members lovingly adjusting their lifestyles to fit my health needs. My own built-in community! Who needs outsiders when I have a fragrance-free family? How perfect!

Well, life is rarely perfect. Some MCSers have supportive, caring relatives, but in reality most family members don't understand unless they have personal experience being chemically sensitive themselves. Relatives may (or may not!) be concerned at first and strive to assist, but after a while, the effort becomes too exhausting as they search for answers that aren't there. Eventually, they wonder if their spouse or sibling is mentally ill or making it all up. Families often express a certain entitlement to their chemically sensitive relatives. After all they have known this person all their lives so how can this be happening?  It doesn't make sense to them and the stress of constant support gets to be too much.

Many MCSers have expressed guilt. They aren't able work and they worry about not contributing. How will the family manage on a one-income household after years of double incomes? When will their husbands decide it's too much trouble? What will happen if their husbands decide to leave them? The medical bills are too expensive. The hopelessness of chronic illness is taxing. This wasn't the idea of marriage agreed upon at the wedding.

Chemically sensitive parents worry they can't be normal parents and provide a normal life for their children. They are unable to attend school events, classroom activities, parent conferences or sports events. No birthday parties. No vacations. No family reunions or holiday gatherings. No slumber parties or friends over for after school snacks. How do they shop for clothes and school supplies when they can't go near a mall? How does one keep a teenager from wearing scented products and perfumes?

Others experience their family's unsupportive, negative attitudes toward their health issues. Their grown children purposely wear scented products and accuse them of faking illness for attention. Their husbands tell them they are pretending to be sensitive only as a reason to quit a job. They assume their loved one has a secret agenda for being ill, and they are pretty sure it's to ruin their own self-centered lives.

A chemically-sensitive patient came into the medical offices where I was a medical assistant. He immediately became anaphylactic upon entering the waiting room and I escorted him out of the building back into fresh air. This was his first visit seeing this doctor who claimed to be an environmental specialist although was obviously incapable of providing a safe waiting room for his patients. In her husband's stead, the wife kept the appointment and I stood outside with him. Later I was told the wife informed the doctor she was concerned for her husband's mental health as he was afraid of leaving his house. She believed it had nothing to do with chemical sensitivity - he was making it all up so he wouldn't have to go outside. Listening only to the wife and not even meeting with the patient, the doctor diagnosed him with agoraphobia.  How betrayed the patient must have felt by his own wife's misunderstanding and lack of support.

My family members are preoccupied with self-indulgent addictions and I learned long ago expecting any kind of support is futile. Expectation breeds disappointment and that is worse than my self-imposed exile. What I don't understand is why no one else in my family is chemically sensitive? We have the same genes, same childhood, same background. I'm the only one who doesn't smoke, who doesn't drink, who doesn't do drugs, doesn't wear scented products, and who doesn't eat Hostess Twinkies for breakfast. Where did I go wrong and why are they off the hook? If I die before any of them, I guarantee I'm going to haunt them mercilessly!

Every now and then I briefly imagine what it would be like with a caring husband and loving children supporting me through tough times, but most of the time I think the dream is unrealistic. I have yet to meet a chemically sensitive person who has family support and/or doesn't feel guilt. I have enough to think about; I don't need the stress. I am thankful I live alone and I do have a lot going for me. I have control of my air space, what or who comes into the house, what I eat, how I spend my day, what I do, and most importantly, control over the detrimental attitudes I would be forced to endure from people who don't care and don't attempt to understand. And adventure is relative (pun could be intended). Being chemically sensitive is an adventure all by itself!

Who in your family is the most supportive?

Who is the least?

What is your best family story?