White Christmas!

 I really love snow! It's so clean. The air is so crisp and fresh. When it falls, the world goes silent. I love it when it's new. 

Unfortunately where I live it rains year round and that makes for some soggy snow. When it does snow it rarely sticks. If it does stick, it turns to slush as soon as it hits the ground. Cars and people start milling around and the landscape is a big cesspool of slippery, cold mud.

But I still love snow. I also love how it stops the world. I personally won't drive in it until the roads are totally clear. I've seen enough cars uncontrollably sliding into each other. Most of the time I won't even go walk in it. I'll watch it from the warmth of my house gazing out the window at the miracle of it all.

This year was different! The snow started falling on Christmas day and by nightfall we were covered! I woke up the next morning to eight inches!

...And it just kept falling!

I thought I'd try to walk in it at my normal walking time around 5am in the dark. I bundled up and added a headlamp to my outfit. OMG! It was powder! Dry, fluffy, powder! The streets were ice packed from the cars, very slippery and dangerous, but as long as I stayed on the grassy sides and sidewalks, it was glorious. No one is out and about at 5am so I had this wonderland to myself. Safe, nontoxic fun! 

It snowed for about four days, stopping on the fifth, but remained dry and powdery. Such wonderful morning walks. At one point I attempted to make a snowman, but powder snow doesn't stick together and I couldn't form a ball.

On the sixth day I woke up hearing drips and drops. Rain. It's not going to last. I still headed out to test the snow. Still walkable. Everything is still covered, but the ice on the roads and sidewalks is starting to melt. Very slick and dangerous.

Toward the end of my walk, traversing through the park it came to me this is perfect snow for a snowman!!! Snowmen are so happy. I love it they will often last long after the snow has disappeared. Can I do this? I love making magical snowmen - the ones that just show up the next morning and people wonder where it came from? It wasn't there yesterday!!??

It's been a few years since I've made a snowman, but like riding a bike, recall is second nature. I rolled and packed the first gigantic ball. Then the second...but the second was too heavy to lift so I left it along side the first. This means I'll have to make two snowmen and I hoped my energy would last long enough.

I finished them then had to search for rocks for eyes. Then branches for arms. Mind you, I'm doing this in the dark!! My headlamp kept falling off my head every time I bent down. Also I was in a rush with time. I didn't want to get caught. I wanted it to be magical.

With two snowmen I thought I'd title it "LOVE" and make their branchy arms go around one another - that's because that second giant ball was left very close to the first. Happiness and love.

I trudged home, exhausted, but then I thought teenagers might destroy my lovers. So I trudged back with camera in hand. Unfortunately, it was dark and I couldn't get the flash to work...and their faces had already fallen off from the rain!! HAHAHAHA Too bad you can't see their arms around one another.

They make me happy. I don't think they last very long.

I went back later to see how my lovers were doing. LOL! THEY ARE MELTING. One is leaning affectionately into the other and both lost their faces. So in love they are faceless. LOL.

I attempted to patch them up and set the one up straight.

They are going to make me smile for a long time.

'Tis the Season

The mother of a friend of mine just died a couple months ago. She is beside herself with grief. Another friend lost her mother a couple years ago. They constantly make references to their losses. It's Christmas, the favorite holiday of one of the mothers. My friend is displaying her mother's Christmas decorations which causes her to mourn the holidays. My other friend dwells on the fact that her mother is not here to share it with her. Same with a third friend who's mother died a few years ago. It's a family holiday, after all. It must be hard to have a mother all your life and then to lose her.  My generation is at that age when parents are dying. This is a fact of life. No human is immortal.

I keep wondering about this...I lost my mother a life time ago and never a day goes by when I don't think about her. I wonder which is worse? Not growing up with a mother, a role model, a person who you know loves you unconditionally and their absence leaves a big hole in your life so you feel insecure and scared all the time? Mothers are usually the cornerstone of holiday celebrations. Mine was never there which could be why I have never put so much emphasis on Christmas. Or Easter. Or Thanksgiving. Or Mother's Day. MCS doesn't help, of course, as family gatherings mean stinky people, but even when I did participate in holiday celebrations, the most important person was always missing. But I wonder about this... is it worse to spend your whole life with a mother and then lose her, lose her constant support, lose her steadfast presence?  This is the person who always knows just what to get you for Christmas.

When I was young, death happened and then it was quickly swept under the rug. No one talked about it. It was taboo to share feelings, display emotions, or talk about the deceased. If the subject inappropriately came up in conversation, the dead was placed on a pedestal and honored with fictional perfection. If they aren't real, grief was unwarranted. Grief was shameful and hidden.

It's hard for me to understand all this grief my friends feel and freely express. I wonder if they think I might understand because of my loss. They have no concept I think it's weird and I keep wondering why they can't get over it. They were so lucky to have mothers for every life milestone always there for advice and support. Their mourning feels like bragging and at times their self-centered, inconsiderate constant wallowing makes me feel irate. I don't know why they aren't focusing on celebrating this wonderful relationship they once had.  They were so lucky. It was such a gift. Of course, if they constantly talked about how lucky they were, that would drive me INSANE. I'm just not good with mother talk of any kind. 

I'd like to think empathetic listening is what friends are for which is why I smile, nod, email supportive anecdotes and encouraging suggestions. There is no way I can say anything as these friendships are tenuous at best. I'm expected to be the good friend although rarely do I get support or understanding from any of these women. As I'm writing this I get ANOTHER email from ANOTHER friend whining about her dead mother's Christmas tree. It's constant between November and January. I find during the holidays I appreciate and prefer the company of women who didn't like their mothers.

Yes, I know this makes me sound bizarrely sociopathic. Perhaps sociopathy is a product of childhood grief? I know grief contributes to genetic mutations that cause chemical sensitivity, so I can safely assume it's probably caused some personality disorders. I know they are grieving and, based on my experience, it'll last them a lifetime. It definitely changes the concept of Christmas.

MERRY CHRISTMAS...anyway.

Well, that was in the holiday spirit, eh? I am trying to write more blog posts as my New Year's Resolution. I'm thinking now maybe I shouldn't. LOL!

Christmas Festivals

Christmas festivals are typically filled with toxic stink so I normally don't even attempt to attend one. However, this year I found out the local bead shop has one every year for their artist customers and I just happened to be in the store at the right time. I was excited! Beads are one of the few non-toxic art supplies and very popular with chemically sensitive creatives.  Lately I've been using beads for the mosaics I'm making. I was looking forward to a whole festival of bead-themed art project for ideas. I love seeing what people do for fun. Unfortunately when I asked more questions I was told the event is not just for beadwork, but any homemade project. Hmmm...I think most people would be more excited but the thought gave me pause.

There were a few booths located on the lower level. I'm sure they were run-over due to overbooking as the space was a bit of an after-thought, a messy storeroom area haphazardly organized to accommodate this handful of artisans. There were tables of baked goods, ceramics, hemp sculptures, and cards. Nice, non-smelly. I stopped and chatted with the artists and let them tell me all about their processes. I regret the baked goods were not gluten free. Darn. I perceived this as a preview and it gave me hope.

As I made my way to the upstairs location, a very small sign at the top caught my eye. It was a copy of an email but printed in big bold letters at the top was the heading, "ATTENTION: READ THIS".

OK. Ever the complaint one, I hesitated and thought, It's probably something not so important as it is implying, but at that point my curiosity got the best of me. The email was addressed to artists with booths and said something to the effect (paraphrasing):

Please remember to be fragrance-free as many of our employees are chemical sensitive and would appreciate it! Thanks!

Whoa!! Outstanding! I was so hopeful for this event. I cheerfully walked through the door and was hit by an avalanche of toxic stink. It took me about thirty seconds before I stopped stubbornly fighting the desire to continue, turned around, and high-tailed it out of there. So disappointing.

I wrote to the store and requested next year they put the non-smelly booths downstairs, perhaps those focused on beads since that is what their store sells, and leave the toxic, poisonous stink upstairs so everyone can enjoy. Am I asking too much? I told them if it's extra work, I'd be happy to volunteer to help.

Their response was...no. LOL. Hey, it never hurts to try. In fact, I don't know if they knew about that sign. Perhaps a rogue chemically sensitive employee hung it? I hope I didn't get anyone in trouble....

Deck the Halls...

Every Thanksgiving it is my tradition to cut some branches off my neighbor's pine tree (LOL...) and make myself a wreath. Last year I forgot. And when I finally remembered I decided I just didn't care. I could live without a wreath. This year I am not feeling as apathetic although I admit I have no patience for Christmas music on the radio lately. Donning garden shears I attacked the tree with new-found vigor. I even added some holly from my holly tree:

I didn't stop there! Hmmm...time to dig out the Christmas tree. It's fake and small. I haven't set it up for years because it just seems like such a waste of energy, but I did it anyway. Not sure what is possessing me.

Then I went to the Black Friday sales and bought some new Christmas lights. I love Christmas lights and they were cheap:

Oddly enough, I'm even considering making Christmas cookies this year. It might be dangerous. I used to make decorated sugar cookies and give them away, but since starting the gluten-, sugar-, dairy-free diet, I fear I wouldn't have the willpower. We'll see.

Merry Christmas to Me!

When the holidays come around I can sometimes start feeling really sorry for myself cooped up all alone out in the middle of nowhere imagining the rest of the world going to parties, family gatherings, and eating a massive amount of health-destroying foods. Yummy, sweet, chocolaty foods dripping with frosting and whipped cream loaded with preservatives, food colorings, and additives. Yum! Even without tasty holiday treats, I celebrate the season with Christmas music, make a wreath, and have a fine time. Pre-MCS I used to spend the month of December spreading cheer by making and delivering cookies to friends and family. I don't do that anymore. It's too tempting. This year I decided to find something yummy and sweet to give the junk man at the city dump who puts up with me showing up once every two weeks to scrounge for used house parts. He rarely has anything for me, but every now and then I score.

Last time I was there I spied a really cool wood frame hanging on the wall in the dump station. I asked him why it was hanging there and he said, "Oh, just to decorate the place." I didn't burst out laughing. I'm sure he doesn't even notice the putrid smell of rotting garbage all around him. He gave me the frame. Maybe I could use it for a window frame? I've also considered collecting old wood picture frames, paint them, add a mirror, and sell them. Someday. So I got my new-old frame home, cleaned all the dust and grime off it and surprise!, it's REALLY NICE!

I'm not even sure I want to paint it now! So I felt incredibly grateful and thought I should take him some holiday treats to show my appreciation in hopes he will feel more motivated to save me house parts.

Of course, this means I get to go shopping for Christmas treats! I initially thought I would try to find some homemade-type cookies. There was no way I was going to bake them as I wasn't sure I could resist tasting and I don't imagine most people would care for gluten-free products. Instead I headed to a couple bakeries. Most of them had pre-packaged type cookies and desserts that didn't look very edible. Then I found a bakery that made these adorable cupcakes!

I apologize for the lack of photo quality as I photographed them through the plastic protective containers. I don't want to mess them up. It was bad enough they started melting in my van on the way home. I was so excited to buy treats, even if I wasn't buying them for me, I couldn't stop at cupcakes, and bought one magnificently decorated double-fudge brownie. He is a lucky junk man.

So in light of all this temptation on the premises, I decided I needed to treat myself to something kind of bad, but relatively healthy.

My friend, Urfa, collects Paleo recipes and she highly recommended one for Paleo-style pumpkin pie. I wasn't confident as my gluten-free baking skills are so embarrassingly poor, but I jumped in there anyway. It's easy, too. Unfortunately, it does use dates as the sweetener which is a problem since any kind of sweetener is not on my diet. It amazes me a year ago I was woofing down a whole bag of dates in one sitting before I realized they were causing a lot of my fatigue. At least in a recipe mixed with other less sweet ingredients, the effect won't be as bad. They also have a tiny amount of organic maple syrup, an ingredient also not on my diet but I know it's filled with vitamins so I'm less inclined to worry about effects. Besides I need to do something to celebrate the holidays and at this point, nothing is going to stop me! (Did I make a good case for cheating?) Here is the recipe:

PALEO PUMPKIN PIE

1 can organic pumpkin
1 can organic coconut milk, full-fat
4 egg yolks (or two whole eggs)
4-6 dates, soaked in water and pitted
1 T. organic, Grade B maple syrup
pumpkin pie spice: cinnamon, allspice, ginger, cloves, nutmeg

Throw it all in a blender and mix. Place in little bowls and bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour.

Cool. In fact, cool for 24 hours for best results. It's really so incredibly easy. If you wanted to do make this recipe properly,  you could buy a big organic pumpkin, skin it, chop it up, boil it to mush thereby avoiding a canned product, but that is a whole lot of work and pumpkins have pretty much disappeared for the season. And instead of canned coconut milk, I've come across recipes making the milk out of dried coconut flakes. It's a whole lot of extra work, but probably healthier. More Paleo as canned goods are definitely processed goods.

AMAZINGLY SCRUMPTIOUS. Notice they don't have a crust. There are some Paleo/gluten-free crust recipes, but I haven't tried them as I don't want to get addicted to anything too devilish. I figure the dates are bad enough.

I chalk this whole experience up to outstanding willpower. Bring on the cupcakes and brownies and waft them under my nose. I don't care. I'll eat Paleo Pumpkin Pie instead!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO EVERYONE!

Christmas Jammies

This is hilarious. Enjoy.

 

 

 

 

 

Laughter is good.

Creatures Are Stirring...But It's Not a Mouse!

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Twas the night before Christmas...This began a few weeks ago when leaving extra early for my morning walk, at 5am, I encountered a very large rodent-looking visitor outside my house. I chased him down the driveway and around the corner, but I've been living in the country long enough to know that would only be the beginning of the Winter War. I became watchful, paranoid, ready to defend my home against all intruders. Opossums included.

I once saw a cat disappear under my house. For a long time I didn't realize it was a convenient shortcut to the other side of the property to slither under the shingles through a small opening hidden from view above the brick skirting. When I first bought the house I hired someone to nail screening underneath it so small animals couldn't get in. Unfortunately, he couldn't put enough screening at the crawlspace entrance or no one could get in for maintenance. When I saw the cat still using the opening, I ended up stuffing deer netting up under the shingles at that spot as a precautionary measure and adding a board in hopes of blocking the entrance.

Problem with this half-assed solution is it gave opossum something to play with, a challenge. I didn't realize this until the early morning hours on the day before Christmas when I heard scratch, scratch, scratch outside my window.

At first light I checked and the netting was adjusted just so and the noise I heard must have been from opossum scratching his way up the board and under the shingles.

All day yesterday I worried about what opossum might be doing underneath the house: destroying my heat vents for warmth, making a nice cozy bed out of the insulation, camping in the furnace? Although I knew what time he went in for bed, I had no idea what time he awoke. As soon as the sun went down, I was watching the driveway. Every hour I'd grab my flashlight, raincoat, rain boots and head outside into the cold. Nice way to spend Christmas eve.

At 2 am I wake to scratch, scratch, scratch. This is it! Creatures ARE stirring! I quietly grabbed the flashlight and ran outside. I can see where he has moved the netting. OH! THERE HE IS! Santy Claws has come to town!

Oh! You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why, Santy Claws is coming to town.... This song has a whole new meaning for me now as I'm watching out, crying, and pouting about having rodents living with me!

 

Santy Claws (I think he's a "he", hopefully not a she with babies or she'll be more than determined to get back under the house!) was waddling away from the newly opened entrance about five feet down the driveway. I turned my flashlight on him and hissed hoping to expedite his exit, but it scared him, the light blinded him, he turns toward me and runs at me back to the entrance! Didn't expect that! If he gets back under the house, I might not get another chance! I run at him and meet him only one foot from where he came out and before he can jump in, I hit him on his snout with the flashlight! Santy Claws backs away and hightails it down the driveway away from the house.

This is my chance! I grab the chicken wire and unroll it across the whole side of the house, placing boards, boulders and heavy post pieces strategically along so he can't get under or over. Of course, I'm frantically getting this done in the pouring rain, in my pajamas, without a raincoat because I was in too much of a hurry.

Then I double checked the rest of the house. I did this earlier and didn't see anything, but I wanted to make sure as this was my only chance to barricade knowing (hoping) he wasn't under the house. I took more chicken wire and placed it around my deck. There is already lattice around, but Santy Claws isn't very big, maybe an adolescent, so I wanted to make sure he can't squeeze through somewhere. Heaven help me if he somehow slithered under the house on the far side before I got there and I've trapped him in!

More concentration-camp decor...

We'll see if that works.  Opossums aren't rats, but marsupials. You'd think he'd be a good friend for Peter. I've heard opossums not only kill chickens, but will go after a rabbit. Not on my watch! Peter is actually bigger than Santy Claws, but Peter doesn't have his sharp claws and fangs. If this doesn't deter Santy Claws, I'll have to invest in a trap and ship him far, far away.

 

All my neighbors have traps. One of them told me he awoke one night and found baby opossums in bed with him! I was hoping to move before I saw the need to purchase a trap, but I can also use it for raccoons and the neighbor's cat. Perhaps the time has come. A trap might be a cheaper solution to keep the cats out of my garden than all this chicken wire I use.


Can I go back to bed now?

What a way to spend Christmas!

Surviving the Holidays

 

The holidays are here! Woe to those who are chemically sensitive.  It doesn't matter if you celebrate Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Al Hijra, Hanukkah, Ashura, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Boxing Day, New Year's Eve or New Year's Day, it's human inclination to want to join together in merriment. That means lots of people and lots of stink. Here are my Top Ten Tips for surviving the holidays:

1.) Don't go shopping for gifts. Buy them online and have them sent directly. Or buy gift cards and mail them. Better yet, don't contribute to the materialism of the season. Make mementos or give IOUs for things like massages, house-cleaning projects, car washing, or other helpful acts of kindness. Or donate to charities in the name of your friend or relative to feed the hungry or give basic necessities to the poor. We own too much.

2.) If you plan to murder and waste a living tree, get an organic one that hasn't been sprayed with pesticides or preserved with pine-scented fresheners. Or better find a little fake tree so you can use it every year. No wait, they are usually made from plastics or chemicals. Even better, go outside, pick up one of the many branches that broke off in the last storm and decorate it. The Swiss have a tradition of putting a Christmas tree on top at the apex of a newly constructed house frame as a symbol of happiness to come. It's just a stick with a few decorations, but the meaning is enormous. Do we need a ten foot tall, freshly murdered tree to symbolize our materialism and bad taste? If you need the fresh scent of pine,  gather pine branches from your neighbor's pine tree that's in pieces all over your yard. There are benefits to winter storms! Be grateful. Make a wreath while you are at it!


3.) Christmas lights. Oh, I love Christmas lights. Do you know the plastic used to cover the wires is made with lead? Check the box or packaging the lights came in as there is often a warning. CAUTION: Prop 65 WARNING: Handling the coated electrical wires of this product exposes you to lead, a chemical known to the State of California to cause cancer, birth defects and other reproductive harm. Wash hands after use. Who would have thought? You don't want to eat any fudge with bare, unwashed hands after handling twinkle lights. In addition, when this plastic gets old it starts to disintegrate and the lead flakes off creating a dust all over. I guess most of us should feel lucky only in the State of California is lead hazardous. Does that mean everyone else's lights are safe?

 

 

4.) Don't buy Christmas cards or stand in line at the post office with smelly people for stamps and mailings. Instead, there are many websites for ecard deliveries or make your own Christmas letter with embedded photos. Email doesn't involve licking scented adhesives on stamps or envelopes.




5.) Don't go to people's houses for holiday dinners or you risk being poisoned and disappointed. Invite them to come to your house scent-free for a fragrance-free gathering. Buy an organic, free-range turkey and other organic trimmings for your holiday dinner. If you can't get friends and family to be fragrance-free, eat it yourself.


6.) If you choose to drink wine or champagne, get the kind without the sulfites and uses organic grapes. I know someone who makes their own wine from all kinds of berries. It's pretty potent. Or drink Sparkling Cider. You can even find sugar-free Sparkling Cider. Or make your own.


7.) Don't eat junky foods like cookies, cakes, pies, divinity, candy canes, fudge, peppermint milkshakes, eggnog mocha lattes. Yeah, I know. Easier said than done. Stuff the stockings with nuts, fruits, and paperback books. If you can tolerate the smell of essential oils, use peppermint oil to scent your house.


8.) If you order and buy Christmas music CDs, be aware they might come scented. Instead download music or listen to radio stations that specialize in Christmas music. We have one in my area that starts playing Christmas music the day after Thanksgiving and doesn't stop until the day after Christmas. What a variety of music there is! Traditional, country, rock, hiphop, jazz, children's, religious, movie and television show soundtracks, medieval Gregorian chants....


9.) Use electric candles instead of those normally made from paraffin or beeswax that can negatively affect your air quality. Cough...cough...choke.


10.) Create your own traditions for the holidays that are scent-free and non-toxic. I start playing Christmas music on Thanksgiving and don't stop until Christmas day. I also watch the movie White Christmas with Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye on Thanksgiving Day every year. I think I've been watching this every year since I was eight years old. It never fails to bring in the holiday spirit!

Be happy. Have fun. Stay safe. Feel grateful.

 

Happy Holidays!