Crawling Through Space, or Construction Karma, Part 5,201

You can't imagine how much it irritates me that I'm still working on getting my crawlspace fixed and sealed. At the onset of fall I discovered my heating system was making me miserably ill. I called too many heating specialists only to be told by most their area didn't include the edge of civilization. I finally found one who arrived with the goal of selling me a brand new very expensive heating system. I thought I hired him for an inspection. Since my heating system works, there are no rebates and I can't even justify so much expense. I was also told because of the type of furnace and ducts, I can't even get it cleaned. I found a duct sealing person to check the ducts and offer a quote. At that time he also suggested he could clean and seal the crawlspace for me. It's been two months and I guess he changed his mind since he unprofessionally refuses to respond to my emails. This is typical behavior at the edge of civilization.

I called and emailed another ten companies who advertise crawlspace work, but none of them would come to the edge of civilization, so I did what needed to be done and crawled under my house in an attempt to do it myself. Through rat shit, opossum shit, fiberglass insulation, dirt, dust, and spider webs, I took a ShopVac cleaner and vacuumed as much as I could. Unfortunately the ShopVac was too large to go too far as it wouldn't fit under the heat ducts. I used spray foam to seal the holes found between the cement skirt and the house. When I wasn't swearing or screaming, I was crying out of frustration. I completed one quarter of the crawlspace before I gave up. It took me about three hours. My knees were bruised and my lungs were a mess, but this gave me a very realistic idea of what this work entails.

So I lowered my standards and went shopping for a construction worker in the Rathole area. I had no confidence, but I also had no choice unless I wanted to repeat my crawlspace experience. I hired a guy everyone has told me not to hire as he's incompetent, slow, and for every mistake he'll make he'll not only charge you for the time to figure it out, but charge you for all the extra supplies he must replace. Word travels fast in a small community. What was I thinking? I was obviously desperate. A couple people told me he might do well with a very simple project. It's dirty and time-consuming, but it doesn't take a lot of mental ability. I figured if I could do it, anyone could.

He shows up with two teenagers who will be his assistants and expects I will pay all three of them. I assume it will take one third the time. He refused to get under the house. He spends the first two hours arguing with them as they try to explain what it looks like. He offers a couple of substandard ideas on how to get the work done which I reject and we finally come up with a solution. He kept repeating the better solution will take more time and cost me more. He gives me a price $300 to seal the whole crawlspace (the cleaning part was ignored!). I'm fine with that as he doesn't realize I was willing to pay three times that amount to get it done right. He's also offering some elaborate construction plan to block the openings on the west side of the house - this is where Santy Claws front door was located last Christmas. OK! I'm still not confident he knows what he's doing, but it sounds like a good plan. I intend to watch every step they make.

As the project starts, he continues to argue with the teenagers. They seem to know more about construction than he does, but he wants to appear to be the boss. His job is to cut the wood to the dimensions they request. The rest of the time he stands around. Every piece of wood he handles he either cuts it wrong or forgets to cut it, the kids drag it under the house and THEN realize it's wrong, drag it back, it all starts over. Such wasted time. His management of the teenagers is pathetic. Every time he drops something it takes him an eternity to pick it up. Is he just old or is he purposely trying to waste my time? The dollars are flying out of my pocket. So tired of watching everyone stand around arguing, I got under the house and looked at what they were doing. Yeah, they are adding wood to block the open space, but there are still holes big enough for rodents to get in. Eventually I decide it's bad enough watching him stand around, but when the teenagers start standing around, I take over management and tell them exactly what I want done. They complete about 15 feet of crawlspace wall to my specifications. I fire them only I do it so nicely he doesn't realize I just want him off my property. He charges me $253 for 15 feet and exclaims, "See, we came in under the quote!" My mouth dropped open and I replied, "Three hundred dollars was for the WHOLE crawlspace, not just 15 feet." Good riddance.

So I get back in the saddle and call a few other Rathole construction workers, names I've not heard of. If I haven't heard of them, that is a good sign. Many don't even return my call. One shows up, a new roofing company in town with a claim they do any kind of construction. When the owner arrives I recognize him. He has changed his company name probably because of all the problems he had in the past and his bad reputation for being incompetent. I try to tell him almost half of the crawlspace is done, but he says it'll still take two men and six hours to do the job. He quotes $600. He also refuses to get under the house to actually look at what needs to be done. I tell him, "Oh, that's a really good price - for ROOFING. This is a crawlspace." He comes back with $400. I tell him I'll call him. As always, I stress about the two men who will show up at my house. Will they stink? Will they smoke? Will I need to tell them to leave? Too much stress and worry.


I give up. I'm out of construction workers to call. I buy more spray foam, don my home-made biohazard outfit, and crawl back under the house to do the remaining half. This time I made sure not to remove the mask until I was well away from the crawlspace and had removed the dirty biohazard jumpsuit. No lung issues this time. I'm learning, BUT I don't want to learn! I don't want to do it at all! I see all the holes the teenagers missed AND I finally see where the heating ducts have detached from the furnace. I push them back into place. You'd think with all the people I've had under the house, someone could have pointed that out. It only took me one hour to get the rest of the crawlspace sealed. My whole body hurts, but I saved myself $400. Priceless.

The crawlspace is done to the best of my ability, I know nothing was dishonestly left undone, and I didn't have to deal with the stress of incompetent people.

I bought a new infrared space heater that's heating my house just fine. Hooray!

Now I'm worried about the two puddles of water under the house...where did they come from?

This house is a never-ending money pit. Can I move now?