Rental Roulette

OK. I've been building my courage back up since last spring and I'm ready to jump back in and start looking at rentals again.

I desperately need to get out of Rathole and away from its psychopathic inhabitants.

Living here is making me crazy.

It's difficult to find a place that fits my requirements:

Small: studio or one bedroom, two bedrooms if I must.

No carpeting.

No laminate or linoleum flooring, hardwood  or tile preferred.

No propane.

Electrical appliances: stove, oven, heaters, refrigerator, washer and dryer.

No close neighbors.

No dog neighbors.

No noise.

No pets allowed.

No smoking allowed.

Not too expensive rent.

Not too expensive utilities.

Internet available.

No mold.

Good foundation.

No particle board.

No stink.

Clean and well-maintained.

Organic groceries nearby.

Nice landlords, preferably not living on the property. I like privacy.


Is my wish list even attainable? I can compromise on some of it.

I found a cabin to rent! It is a one bedroom with a huge porch facing the water. WATERFRONT property! Clams and oysters twenty feet from my backdoor! Most of the neighbors are weekenders so they are rarely around. The closest neighbor is about 100 feet away, a house owned and rented by the same landlord who doesn't allow pets. New appliances. Electric heat. Hardwood floors. Washer and dryer in the cabin. Lots of windows. Lots of trees. Lots of privacy. Low rent. Internet.

Perfect.

I went for a visit with my handy safety checklist clutched tightly in my sweaty palms. So quiet. The wind through the trees sounded beautiful. Waves lapping on the shore. This is paradise. The neighborhood was upper middle class in the woods with houses far apart. There is a creek running down to the water between my cabin and the house next door. I can barely see the neighbor's house through the trees. The door wasn't locked so I went in. Perfect. There was a very faint "new" smell. Was it the paint, floor, or appliances? Hmmm... I walked over to the other rental, a huge house right on the water, and knocked. No barking dogs! So rare! I asked the man what he knew about the rental and the neighborhood. He seemed really nice and had nothing but good things to say. He also likes quiet. Too perfect.


I call the landlord and talk to her husband. They live out of state. How perfect! He gives me more perfect information about the perfect neighbors, the perfect town, the perfect area, and then he says, "The reason we don't allow animals is because there is a rabbit on the property that runs free."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY? RABBIT? DID YOU SAY RABBIT?"  It's a sign!!! Peter has sent me a sign that this is my new, perfect home! I'm sure the landlord's husband thought I was crazy. I start gushing, "I LOVE BUNNIES!" After several more minutes of more perfect information, I hung up determined to live in that perfect little cabin on the water come hell or high water...

Hell? Did I say Hell? Hell is a reminder of how bad it can be. What am I missing? I was determined not to make the same mistake as last time, but I am so desperate for something to work that all rational thinking disappears and I stop seeing the reality. What am I missing? Time to turn on my brain. Flip the switch. Maybe if I actually look at my checklist I'll come back down to earth.

After I hung up with the landlord's husband I fought the urge to jump in my car for home so I can fill out the application and GIVE them my deposit. I am far too free with giving deposits! It's like I'm convinced if I give the deposit, then all will work out.  I've learned with experience, it doesn't work that way. I hesitated. I sat in my van pondering. I decide to stall. Slow down.

I called my friend who lives nearby. I needed some counseling and a reason to sit there and gain some insight. I needed a reality check. I can always count on her for a reality check. I know I'm talking a mile a minute and I know I'm blind to anything I'm missing. As I'm babbling about how perfect it all is, I go back into the house to give her the "phone" tour. "It's perfect," I exclaim over and over as I describe the details.

I start noticing things...why are the floors buckling in places? I keep telling her, "There are bubbles on the floors."  The ad said the floors were hardwood, but they don't look like hardwood. They look plastic. Cheap, glossy plastic. And the longer I'm in the space, the stronger the smell is getting. I'm not sure if it's paint I'm smelling, but I don't think so. I know paint. This smells like my neighbor's new laminate flooring. As I talk to my friend and she walks me through a good reality check, I wait and stand in the space breathing and thinking, Oh, I can do this! It's just a little smell. As soon as I turn the heat on and warm the place up it'll go away. My friend tells me to turn the heat on. After 15 minutes I start clearing my throat. Repeatedly. I know this isn't a good sign, No, no, it'll be fine. I really want to live in this perfect place! It's perfect! No, this isn't happening.  After 25 minutes, my head starts spinning. For a moment I thought I would fall over from the dizziness. The floors can't be hardwood. They have to be laminate. This is how I react to laminate. The spinning head is my body screaming, WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! but I'm so determined to make it work I do everything possible to ignore it. Finally I can't anymore. Disappointed, but with still a thread of hope, I head back home and email the landlady to ask about the floors. She confirms the floors are hardwood, bamboo.

BAMBOO 

 

 

BAMBOO??? Bamboo is supposed to be one of the best flooring options available. It's supposed to be non-toxic, natural, and healthy. The landlady confirms, "Yes, bamboo is supposed to be the "greenist" flooring available." I don't get it.

 

Wrong. I got online and searched bamboo flooring smell and up pops...

 

 

FORMALDEHYDE

 

Sorry to say, bamboo flooring is made with formaldehyde. There are lots of people online questioning the strong, acidic smell and wondering why their new expensive floors are making them incredibly sick. Just to open the packing box makes their eyes water. Some say after ten months the stink is still there and they are unable to live in their newly built or remodeled homes. And these people aren't even chemically sensitive! Some articles claim the "premium bamboo" (not so cheap stuff) is less toxic because it uses less formaldehyde (3% rather than 20%), but the fact remains someone thought it best to contaminate a perfectly non-toxic piece of expensive wood by adding chemicals to it.

 

I AM SO DISAPPOINTED.

 

You can't imagine how disappointed I am. Depressed. I want to cry. At least I didn't mindlessly and idealistically fill out an application and hand over a deposit before I came to my senses, or rather, before my head started spinning so hard my senses finally flew out.

 

 

Thank you, URFA, for helping me be rational, kicking and screaming all the way.

 

My desperation makes me dangerously brainless and irrational. I am so not good at this rental search.

 

It's so disappointing....Bamboo. Who would have thought?

Paleo/Caveman Diet with Hashimoto's Twist - Two Year Anniversary!

It's been just a little over two years since I started the Dr. Kharrazian Paleo-Hashimoto's diet and after writing my last post on the sacrifices we make to be healthy, I ventured over to the one year anniversary post I wrote in 2012 to review and reflect on my efforts.

What I'm eating now:

Meat, approved:  Lamb, cod, salmon, hamburger, eggs, chicken, tuna (gluten-free)

Meat, forbidden:  Oysters, prawns, clams, bacon

I've been going clam digging this year so my freezer is full. Honestly, I'd rather dig them rather than eating them. Maybe I'll find someone who wants them because I don't. I eat oysters or prawns maybe once a month and bacon is a special treat maybe once every two months for some variety. I have strange dreams when I eat shellfish so I avoid it, but other than that, I don't seem to have any reaction to these meats.

Fruits, winter:  Apples, oranges, avocados, lemons, frozen blueberries, pears, grapefruit, limes

Fruits, summer: Apples, grapes, watermelon, cantaloupe, avocados, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, nectarines, lemons, pears

Fruits, forbidden:  Bananas

I have a banana about once a month in the winter when so much is unavailable. I avoid them because they are high in sugar and must be imported from far away. I prefer local produce. I have no reaction to them.

Watermelon is supposedly forbidden on the diet, but what I don't understand is it has a lower glycemic value than blueberries, yet blueberries are allowed. In the hot summer months, watermelon makes me feel good with all that extra hydration.

Vegetables, consistently:  Squash (all kinds), lettuce, onions, garlic, peppers, Brussels sprouts, ginger, herbs, broccoli, kale (rarely), carrots, celery

Vegetables, forbidden: Potatoes, pickles, green beans

I crave hot foods when it's cold and try to make due with squash, but for a treat I add potatoes every now and then. After years of picklelessness, one day I just felt like I needed to eat a pickle. I bought the ones at the health store. I rarely eat green beans, but I do.

Other foods: Coconut milk, olive oil, herbs and spices

Other foods, forbidden: Gluten-free desserts, rice, maple syrup, yogurt, canola mayonnaise, peanut butter, carob chips

I know I'm not allowed, but every now and then, about once a month, I treat myself to a gluten-free dessert. They are often made with sugar, dairy and usually rice flour. I don't seem to have any reaction to them, but I know they are forbidden. I think if I ate them consistently, I'm pretty sure I'd have problems.

Unsweetened carob chips...I'm addicted, but they are a hour's drive away so they are easy to avoid.

I caved and bought a jar of peanut butter a few weeks ago and ate the whole thing over a few days! Tasted great, but I felt a little tired. Since giving up dried fruits, I don't usually feel tired so I'm blaming this fatigue on the very forbidden peanut butter which is not a nut, but a legume. The impulse is over. No more.

I'm still eating rice once every two weeks or so, but it seems less necessary and doesn't taste as good. Maybe that salt elimination diet helped?

I get organic, raw, grade B maple syrup and use it to sweeten hot tea for a warming winter drink. It's supposed to be high in vitamins and minerals. I don't use much, but any sweetener is forbidden.

I love yogurt. I buy Nancy's organic, unsweetened, full-fat. It's like ice cream to me. I put blueberries or apples on it.

I eat mayonnaise. The brand I buy from the health food store isn't as bad as the chemical-laden garbage in the grocery store, but it's still forbidden. I've worshipped mayonnaise all my life. I love it. Mooning over mayonnaise makes it sound like I'm eating gallons of it, but in truth, it's only a tablespoon here and there to spice up a meal like fish or salads.

Jeez! I look at that list and scream "CHEATER!" I have been feeling so good, I thought I was doing good, but I guess not!

Food I've Stopped Eating in the Past Year: 

Nuts and seeds...Not sure why but I'm just not interested in eating nuts or seeds anymore. Every now and then I'll buy a handful of pecans because I think I should eat some for the mineral content.  I was eating A LOT of nuts: pecans, almonds, pistachios, brazil nuts, cashews, sunflower seeds and buckets of cockroach-infested almond butter. No longer interested. There must be a reason so I'll listen to my body and obey. I wonder if my lack of nuts contributed to my impulse to buy peanut butter?

Peas...Not feeling the need to eat peas like I was before.

Agave syrup...I don't like it. I replaced it with organic maple syrup which has a higher mineral content.

Dried Fruits...Other than falling off the wagon in September with the dried Asian Pears, I haven't had dried fruits since the elimination test last August. Other than the peanut butter reaction, I've had no fatigue either. So happy to discover that!

Cherries...I used to eat a lot of fresh, in-season cherries in the summer, but someone told me it's impossible to get organic cherries. Even if they claim to be organic, they aren't. She made a really good case for this information so I stopped eating them. I miss them, but they are really expensive.

Pancakes, gluten-free...Not interested, but I'm sure gluten-free desserts are made with the same type of flour.

Hot Dogs...I used to buy the brand at the health food store made with beef and without chemicals or gluten. This was a forbidden food that was one of my every-so-often indulging treats for a while. The last hot dog made my whole mouth break out in blisters! It tasted fine at the time. I'm not sure if the manufacturer screwed up the recipe or if my body decided to scream a warning at me. I listened. I haven't eaten one since and that's a good thing.

 

I'm no longer suffering from exhaustion or fatigue. Few headaches and fewer pains. I haven't lost weight, but I haven't gained weight either. The diet still isn't perfect and neither is my health, but one thing I've realized is being isolated out in the middle of no where with little to do especially in the winter, eating IS my entertainment. Unfortunately. Indulging in a gigantic bowl of very expensive Moroccan Lamb Stew or a huge plate of spicy Jerk Chicken makes my whole day. A gluten-free cupcake every so often is the cherry on top! Eventually I'll be a dieting saint and eat a perfect diet. Maybe. If that's possible. It's hard being human.

Baby steps....

"Nothing Feels as Good as Feeling Good Does"

Happy New Year! Tis' the season to make those resolutions to be a happier and healthier person. This is when we commit to losing weight, eating better, or stopping any number of bad habits that effect our quality of life. Sorry to say, this new-found willpower and inspiration will often last about a month or less until we go back to our old, nasty ways using any number of excuses to justify the failure. I speak from experience. The travesty is how we acquired nasty habits in the first place. Why weren't we taught how to eat and drink for health? Why aren't we afraid of bad habits and the bad health they can cause? Instead most of us spent the first two or more decades of our lives eating garbage, drinking poisons, and indulging in other health-sacrificing behaviors without any concern for what it could be doing to our bodies and ultimately, our health. We were having fun. Is it any wonder it's catching up to us?

How many of us had to get sick before we became healthy? I was recently sent this article with just that title: Why I Had to Get Sick to Get Healthy My favorite quote from it is "nothing feels as good as feeling good does." So true. Those of us suffering from any number of debilitating illnesses would do almost anything to feel better and those sacrifices are worth even moments of feeling healthy. I can't count how many sacrifices I've made just to feel good.

I often hear people accuse their bodies of betraying them with illness, but I'd be more inclined to blame my neighbor for wearing perfume, the grocery checker for using that nasty scented shampoo, or my parents for not teaching me how to live a healthy life. After a lifetime of body abuse, I share in the culpability. If I would have treated my body better, would I be chemically-sensitive today?   If I would have resisted all those pizzas, soft drinks, chocolate candies, cakes, cookies and pies over the years, would I be chemically-sensitive today? If I hadn't worked at perfume-saturated department stores or air-freshened schools, would I be chemically-sensitive today? If I hadn't lived in some of the most polluted cities in the world, would I be chemically-sensitive today? Some of it I couldn't have controlled, but in most cases I had a choice even if it was a difficult choice. Still, I don't blame my body. My body is the victim of my past bad behavior and the bad behaviors of others.

I wish I would have paid more attention to the signs. How many times did eating a whole bowl of cookie dough or cake batter make me sick? Candy bars would give me a face of zits. Drinking diet Coke and I'd be moody and temperamental for days. Once on a dare I ate nine pieces of deep-fried fish with three baskets of French fries then washed it all down with a McDonald's Shamrock Shake. To describe my body's reaction to that torture as horror doesn't even come close! These were choices I made. Did I listen to the warnings and worry even for a moment about the consequences? Nope.

My body is doing what a healthy body should: protecting me from poisons. Even after years of abuse, it's still working. Amazing. Granted, the headaches, nausea, and respiratory failure responses are a real bitch and it is definitely a disadvantage to not be able to live in a toxic city or be anywhere near the bad habits of others, but reacting to poisons are my body's warning signs and I've learned the hard way I should be paying attention. If I would have listened to my body earlier in life, I might not be where I am today. I am a much better listener now.

Hooray, body! Thank you for always being there for me even when I ignored and disrespected you.

I am grateful.

"It's in your mother's anus..."

Girl-Nearly-Not-Alive-with-Butt-Spasms sent this link to me and guaranteed I would laugh so hard I wouldn't be able to breathe. It features examples of text autocorrecting conversations. As I started reading I was smiling, but thought Maybe I'm just not in a laughing mood today? It didn't take long before I was laughing so hard and loud I couldn't breathe and tears were running down my face as I desperately raced to the bathroom before I peed my pants. Besides the weirdly perverted and pornographic-oriented computer brains of the autocorrect, the conversations are hilarious as they attempt to continue the conversation trying to make themselves understood. Usually it just gets worse the more they try.

For "The 30 Most Hilarious Autocorrect Struggles Ever" click HERE

 

 

Enjoy. Laughter is good.