January Movie Reviews

***** Loved it, watching it a second time or will watch it a second time
****   Excellent
***     OK
**       Tolerable, but blah
*         Horrible, probably turned it off before the end it was so bad

Cinderella is the latest rendition of the classic fairy tale with Lily James in the lead role. It's pretty much Disney's cartoon come to life with a few modern tweaks. There is even a rat named Gus-Gus, a weird digital rendition of a real animal. The writers did a movie mash-up attempting to re-create the perfect fake fairy tale extracting the best bits from Cinderellas past (sans music). The computer-generated landscapes are beautiful and the unnatural Jane Austen dialogue with the over-the-top performances promise lots of tragic swooning and throwing oneself on the fountain to cry. I do like that everyone had an authentic English accent. Cate Blanchett is an outstanding evil stepmother and the stepsisters are priceless. The best bit of modernization is when Cinderella looks at her new shoes and asks, "They're made of glass?" The platinum blonde Helena Bonham-Carter looking like a psychotic fallen angel says, "Yeah. And you'll find them really comfortable." LOL. The dance choreography was ATROCIOUS and every time Cinderella threw her head back I thought she was having a seizure. I did like the new ending. Although the theme was "courage and kindness" instead of kindly inviting the evil steps to live in the palace, they end up running away with the scheming duke never to return again. "You have never been and never will be my mother." Awesome. Kids would love it especially the little girls with all that dress swishing (borrowed from the Rogers & Hammerstein's adaptation). ***

Departures is a Japanese film about a cellist. When the orchestra dissolves, he becomes unemployed, directionless, and moves with his wife back to his dead mother's house in his hometown. Needing work, he answers an ad for a mysterious job that pays a lot of money and doesn't require any experience. He assumes it's in the travel industry since the job description briefly states the applicant would be assisting in "departures." Misspelled, it should have read "departed". It's for a funeral "professional." Japanese families traditionally would wash and prepare the body of their loved one for burial in preparation for the next life. When modern families stopped this practice, businesses developed to provide these services. The ritual is very beautiful and spiritual. The movie is at times very sweet and sentimental with a bit of slapstick-like comedy thrown in for fun especially when he's being trained and he's scared to death of dead people. LOL! Great photography and scenery. I don't like reading subtitles, but it was a great story. I like movies about death.****

Dog Day Afternoon is a 1975 movie based on a true story about two dimwits who rob a bank. They aren't the only numbskulls in the story - the police and FBI show up and it becomes more like a scene from a Keystone Cops movie. I kept screaming, "AH! NO WAY!" as in no one could be that stupid! Everything goes wrong for the bank robbers and they end up inside a bank with hostages trying to figure out how to make a clean, but impossible escape. Al Pacino is SO YOUNG and he does an outstanding job playing an incredibly stupid person from Brooklyn. The movie was nominated for a bundle of Academy Awards and Golden Globes, but received only one for writing. I've never really had any interest in seeing this movie before and had I trusted my instincts, I wouldn't have missed much. **

Indefinitely Polar Bear is about a father of two little girls who is bipolar. He can't quite keep a job and after a nervous breakdown can't quite function at all so the family becomes destitute while he's institutionalized and then transferred to a half-way house. His wife decides she needs to go to New York for a business degree so she can get a better job and has him move in with the girls. He's unmistakably crazy, sometimes it's not so good, but most of the time he excels at fatherhood if only by accident. The bipolar is a little stressful to watch as is the nonstop smoking, but Mark Ruffalo is one of my favorite actors. ***

Joe stars Nicholas Cage as a trailer-trash nonstop smoking/drinking redneck who cavorts with prostitutes, poisons trees for a living, has a bad temper, has encounters with other bad tempered rednecks, and owns something that looks like a pitbull. In fact, everyone in the whole movie has a vicious, barking dog which is indicative of the neighborhood's social class. There is one dog in the movie Joe doesn't like, ""THAT DOG IS AN ASSHOLE!!" LOL. He goes home, gets his pitbull and releases it on the other dog. Jeez. Lots of child abuse, poverty, and general tragedy. I must be really bored, but I have to admit the performances were exceptional. ***

Jurassic World  Well! That was thrilling!!  Twenty years after the tragedy at Jurassic Park and humans haven't learned a thing. With lots of commentary on corporate greed, it is clear bigger, better and scarier is what the American public NEEDS. Too much is never enough and we've been desensitized. If money is to be made (and yes, it must be made) we need to be very afraid. With advances in science and newer technology the owners of this new, improved dinosaur theme park feel all is safe enough for 20,000 visitors to wander around freely among killing machines. Naturally, everything goes very wrong when one of their latest "assets" escapes and goes on a murderous rampage. The special effects were outstanding. Those dinos looked and acted real especially the one in the lake-sized tank. Not as much blood as one would expect since dinos swallow humans whole. Nice. But it still seemed too violent for a PG-13 rating. I didn't like the Hollywood love story. Poorly written, cheesy, horribly cliche and a little goofy. Perhaps it was written for the violent-hungry but humor-addicted kids in the audience? They could have done without it. The performances weren't always good with too much overacting and melodrama. What really bothered me was Bryce Dallas Howard's brilliant white outfit. I would think the blaze of white would have made her a tasty morsel right off the bat. She ran through the whole movie in matching heels. In the last scene, she was still wearing those heels?! There is no way she wouldn't have lost one or both in the muck. Maybe she was supposed to be a King Kong damsel flashback? Still, it was fun. Definitely not boring. *****

Madame Bovary is the 2014 version of the classic cautionary tale of excess. Poor Emma, living in the most beautiful countryside you've ever seen (I so love France! The scenery didn't disappoint!), in an adorable stone cottage, surrounded by a beautiful autumn-colored forest, wearing the most gorgeous dresses imaginable, with a kind, loving and cute husband at her side, and men who constantly tell her she's beautiful....but bored out of her mind. I would love her life! She's so ungrateful. The performance of the main character (Mia Wasikowska) was lacking. She just wasn't believable. At least they should have cast someone who could do an accent. Although I normally really like Ezra Miller in anything, this period piece just didn't suit him, but the dashing Logan Marshall-Green as the Marquis was scrumptious. Yum. Yes, I would also have thrown myself at his feet and begged him to take me in his arms. It was the anticipation of raunchy sex and her ultimate suicide that kept me watching. I expected a really spectacular death. Not so much. She did run through some really spectacular scenery and then die in a really spectacular dress, but that was it. And the sex wasn't that raunchy. It gets  *** for costuming, gorgeous scenery, and that sexy man.

Mona Lisa Smile is about a subversive art history professor (Julia Roberts) at the very traditional Wesley College who challenges the archaic roles of women in the 1950s. Great cast and performances. Wonderful costumes, and outstanding soundtrack. I grew up with the music and I majored in art history in college so it made my heart sing. Superb chick flick. *****

Serena stars Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper as Smoky Mountain timber owners in 1929. The sets were realistic and gorgeous, costuming perfect, and wonderful performances. Lots of interpersonal drama and beautiful scenery. However, I didn't see the point of the story. I'm still trying to wrap my head around some of the symbolism and Lawrence running around in her underwear in a logging camp in the 1920s was anything but realistic. The pace was a little slow with scenes drawn out too long. ***

Stepmom  The mother (Susan Sarandon) does everything to sabotage the relationship between her children and her ex-husband's girlfriend (Julia Roberts), the stepmother-to-be. The spoiled kids are encouraged to be rude, and the stepmother is trying but inexperienced in the ways of evil children. Then the mother gets cancer. I haven't seen this movie for about twenty years, but I cried all the way through both times especially at the end. I've always had a love/hate relationship with the story. First, my mother found out she was dying right about the time my father married a nasty, evil, self-centered woman half his age. My mother didn't really like the stepmother which was clear, but unlike Julia Roberts, I think my stepmother deserved her wrath. I also resent the little girl in the movie who was constantly belligerent and when her mother tells her she's going to die, the little girl starts screaming at her and accusing her of lying to her because she didn't tell her immediately. I'm thinking, You nasty little brat...at least your mother told you at all! So although I cry all the way through it being a little too close to home, the movie is a contradictory challenge. *****

Stone is about an almost retired parole officer (Robert De Niro) dealing with an arsonist inmate (Edward Norton) who is clearly sociopathic, conniving, manipulative, and doing everything in his power to get out of prison early. Every time I see Edward Norton in a movie I am amazed. What an outstanding, mesmerizing actor who becomes totally possessed by his character. This time he is a despicable who murdered his grandparents and he's as scary as they get. Great movie about the psychological demons of people. ****

When the Game Stands Tall. I absolutely HATE football movies anyway, but there was a bit of death in it so I thought maybe it would be interesting. Then they mix it up with praying football coaches who are teaching bible study in a high school class, God this, God that. Good God! Sorry, God doesn't give a rat's ass if you win a football game. I've never understood the football culture. What a total waste of energy. *

Winter's Bones stars Jennifer Lawrence as the seventeen-year old sister of two small children and the daughter of a crank cooker who disappears before his court date. Unfortunately he put the family home up as bail and if he doesn't show, his mentally ill wife and three children will be homeless. As it is they can't afford to eat and live in squalor. His daughter searches the hillbilly hills for him, but people don't like the questions she's asking. It's a dark, cold and depressing movie about lowlifes, but the performances are outstanding. ****

A Year and Change is about a family of dysfunctional people who drink too much, do stupid things, getting in fights continuously, and go to jail. The main character is trying to change, but fails miserably every step of the way. The acting wasn't great and a story about ignorant, degenerate, low class people too stupid to do anything right is always irritating. I think watching movies about lowlifes is my theme this month. *

Jay DeFeo, The Rat Bastard

The Rat Bastard Protective Association was an artist collective in San Francisco in the 1950s–1960s. Members included Bruce Conner, Wallace Berman, Joan Brown, Art Grant, David Haselwood, Alvin Light, Fred Martin, Michael McClure, Manuel Neri, Bob Branaman, Carlos Villa, and Jay DeFeo.

Jay DeFeo's signature work is a painting called The Rose, formerly titled Deathrose and The White Rose. 

It's a 128 x 92 inch monstrosity that originally weighed around 1,850 pounds. After adding steel reinforcements and supports to the framing, it now weighs around 3,050 pounds. Whoa! It took a total of seven years to complete although her process which is less painterly than sculptural included scrapping the paint down to the canvas and starting over numerous times. Along with house paint, her materials list includes wood scraps, stones, beads, wire, mica, and pearls.

Jay working on her masterpiece.

Six years into the process she was evicted from her apartment and had to have it transported to the Pasadena Art Museum for storage where she continued to work on it. The moving company had to cut a hole in her apartment wall and lift it out.

See Jay out on the ledge in black watching.

It was purchased by the Whitney Museum of American Art in 1992 after sitting in storage for nearly thirty years.

Why am I writing a post on a California artist from the 1960s?

I think working on your life's masterpiece for seven years and then sending it way must be traumatic anyway, but she became very depressed and disappeared from the art scene for three years. I read the whole time she was working on the Deathrose (aptly named), the lead (white) paint was making her very sick to the point where her teeth were falling out! She was painting it in her studio which also functioned as her apartment, breathing it day in and day out. It probably took three years for all the toxins to clear from her body and I'm sure she spent much of that time in bed sleeping or in the bathroom puking. She died from lung cancer.

I think there are far more stories about chemically-sensitive artists than we know. Entertainment that is deadly. I guess I should re-think my house paint paintings, but I've tried and I can't stop myself.

I should write a book about this...

Iridology

Years ago when I worked for a health food store my co-worker friend was into iridology. It was a fun game when work got boring we'd look into each other's eyes to determine how unhealthy we truly were. 

The only thing I remember from that experience was she kept telling me I needed a colon cleanse. It just made me giggle. It seems if there is a muddy-colored ring around your pupil, your colon is congested. Here is the chart from the iridology master Dr. Bernard Jensen:

See the colon squiggle around the pupil?

You can find an updated, color chart for purchase HERE  or a Pinterest reference HERE  or just search "iridology chart Jensen" and a variety of chart styles will appear.

According to Wikipedia, iridology is an alternative medicine technique whose proponents claim that patterns, colors, and other characteristics of the iris can be examined to determine information about a patient's systemic health. Practitioners match their observations to iris charts, which divide the iris into zones that correspond to specific parts of the human body. Iridologists see the eyes as "windows" into the body's state of health.

Years later I worked for an outstanding old-school naturopath, he used to walk up to us, poke our livers, look at our hands, and into our eyes. I called them "party tricks", but he could tell exactly how we were feeling that day or what we needed to do to feel better.

It's been years since I've given any thought to iridology and the other day on a whim I wondered how my eyes were doing. I have vague memories of dark spots (bad things!) in the bottom section of my iris, and of course, my congested colon. So I put on my glasses and with flashlight in hand I flipped on the bathroom light and peered wide-eyed into the mirror. Hmmm...my colon is no longer congested. Probably all that healthy food I eat. One dark, rust-colored dot. I ran to the computer, found Jensen's chart, and looked for the area around two o'clock in the iris of my right eye (it's all backwards on the charts if looking in the mirror)....

THYROID! Go figure. Even though I've been feeling great, there is definitely something wrong with my thyroid! But only in my right eye. Left eye is fine.

Interesting...

Unfortunately I don't know enough about iridology. Does this mean the thyroid gland on my right side the only one having problems?  Also, there is much more to it than reading dark dots as the texture, color and patterns indicate various health issues as well. It would be fascinating to study. I wonder if people can make a living being an iridologist? The sclera (white of the eye) and all it's blood vessels also holds secrets to your systemic health, but that's way out of my knowledge base.

I tried taking a photo of my eye but I couldn't get it in focus nor without the shadow caused by the camera. The results made me laugh until I had tears running down my cheeks:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire, or, Please Pass the Stupid Chicken

Do you trust the word organic? How do you know if it's truly organic? Or grass-fed? Or gluten-free? If the label says they don't use antibiotics or steroids, how does one really know if this is true?

A couple years ago while on my vacation road trip, I found a product clearly labeled gluten-free. I was excited. When eating on the road, selection is limited. I bought it, jumped in the van, and headed back out on the road. Lunchtime couldn't arrive soon enough and eager to eat a new gluten-free product I almost didn't bother looking at the tiny print. It was labeled as gluten-free because ONE ingredient was gluten-free. But what about that wheat flour on the ingredients list? I later found out if only ONE ingredient is gluten-free, the manufacturers can legally label it gluten-free. HOW IS THAT LEGAL?

I've had a lot of people tell me they can't tell the difference between organic food and conventional food. To them it all tastes the same. A few people have told me they think organic produce tastes better. Maybe. My problem is I feel lousy if I eat conventional food. I'll never forget the severe intestinal cramps I got from eating conventional watermelon. I thought my insides were imploding. Same with conventional raisins and Brussel sprouts. It makes me wonder if all these people who have been diagnosed with IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) are just reacting to the pesticides and poisons? Dietary advice includes NOT eating most fresh fruits and vegetables. Hmmm...

So what am I supposed to think if my clearly labeled organic, natural, no artificial ingredients, raised without antibiotics chicken gives me unbearable migraines and nausea? I think most people would blame it on anything else, but I know better. So is this false advertising? How can I prove it?

I bought this chicken at another co-op, one not known for it's impeccable standards. My co-op doesn't sell this brand. It wasn't the first time I bought Stupid Chicken, and not the first time I had migraines and nausea right after eating it that lasted all night, but I was blinded by the sale price. So what does "air-chilled" mean? Is that code for gassed? Chemically-induced refrigeration? What am I missing? The labeling is misleading.

During the same visit to the co-op with questionable standards I also bought a small container of bulk Kalamata olives. The fact they tasted wonderful, better than my own co-op's olives, should have been a clue. I had nightmares and strange, vivid dreams all night. The ingredients include olives, water, salt, oil. Hmmm...what kind of oil? Crude oil? Pennzoil? Sometimes I'm just too trusting. Just because it's being sold in a co-op as a bulk product doesn't mean it's safe.

And then there is Simple Truth Grade B Maple Syrup. My co-op was closed on New Year's Day so I went to the local big-box grocery store. They had a bottle of this grade B maple syrup for sale in their "health" department. Ingredients: organic maple syrup. The label looked fine. I get it home, pour a little out. It's too light in texture and color to be real Grade B which is raw, unprocessed, organic maple syrup. This has the consistency of corn syrup. I stick my finger in it. It tastes like corn syrup! So what is this? Did they cut real Grade B maple syrup with something else? Can they claim it to be Grade B if only a small portion of it is Grade B? Or did they process it just a little and they are lying?

Aren't there labeling laws in our country? It irritates me to no end we can't trust money-hungry companies to tell the truth and their best practices include screwing over the customer for a few extra bucks. But organic is the new catch word. Like natural, it means nothing. For anyone who is chemically sensitive, it's a experiential learning process with dire consequences and lots of wasted money.

Chemical sensitivity is expensive!

The Year End Assessment, or, What an Awesome Year!

Happy New Year! 2015 came and went. Fast. Did it go as quickly for you as it did for me? It's now time for reflection and personal assessment. I've been doing this every year since 1987 and it's always an interesting learning experience.

GOOD STUFF:

1) My blog...which serves as therapy, community, and entertainment.

2) My house...with it's newly stained fence, crazy painted porch, and outstanding garden. I'm so thankful to have a safe place to live (relatively speaking) that provides lots of fun and entertainment!

3) ZIPPY! After years of shopping, I finally found and bought a car that's more like a large dog that doesn't bark, poop, stink, have fleas or beg. It goes where I want, when I want. Very obedient and oh so cute! My gratitude is overwhelming.

4) My polka dot chair and table...makes me feel like a party is always at my house. Next year I plan to paint more polka dots! On everything!

5) I FEEL WONDERFUL! My health has improved by leaps and bounds. I rarely have any noticeable fatigue and I have enough energy for life. I finally found the secret: stick to the diet, no cheating, and no overeating as that also creates inflammation and taxes the thyroid. As Dr. Kharrazian says, "It's not just what you eat, it's HOW you eat."  Hooray for progress!

6) My fragrance-free friends, both online and offline. THANK YOU FOR KEEPING ME SANE.

7) Money. I love money. With energy comes money. With money comes security. With security comes less stress. With less stress comes better health. With better health comes happiness. Money is good.

Hmmmm?

Re-Friending. This was both fantastic and traumatizing so it's under neutral or questionable or hmmmm?. Reconnecting with old friends at first was really fun and exciting! I love finding out what people have done with their lives. With so much catching up to do, most of them emailed consistently at the beginning. We laughed until we cried. We confessed mistakes and regrets. We shared life goals and health challenges. It was nice reconnecting with my former life and wonderful to have pen pals...for a short time.

Peopling my life isn't without challenges. One friend only wanted to send me short headlines of self-centered drama every couple weeks without shared conversation. "My Son's Back in Prison." "My Daughter is a Meth Addict." "My Brother is Dead."  If it wasn't so disturbing it might have been entertaining.  It ended up just being exhausting as I kept wanting to fix her life, but I realized after a while there was no solution to any of it. Another old friend did the same thing. She never emailed, but if I emailed her in hopes of inspiring her to email, her excuses were surgery, family problems, and then finally cancer. Then she'd post photos of herself with friends shopping at the mall looking quite healthy and unstressed. Hmmm?

Some refused to email at all. One kept sending me her email addresses repeatedly with "I look forward to our reconnection" and that was it. Right around the time of my high school reunion, several ex-friends followed me on Facebook in lieu of friending because I have that option blocked. When I wrote to them to tell them I really don't do Facebook, but I'd love to hear from them and catch up via email, they immediately un-followed me and disappeared. LOL! So much for the value of ex-friendship. Do they really want to connect or am I just a Facebook number, a trophy, someone who will tell them they are beautiful when they post their daily selfie? I don't know if all the disappointment was worth it. Nearly all reconnections eventually disconnected with the confession they really don't like to email. Oh well....

Email communication was great, but I didn't stop there! A few of the new ex-friends made an effort to visited or we went places for fun! It was so glorious not to feel so isolated. So grateful for human contact I let my guard down and stopped reminding people they need to be fragrance free. One by one encounters became toxic with people walking into my house saturated in stinky laundry detergent, on-the-road bathroom hand soap, or some unidentified stink. Some people just didn't get it or couldn't smell it so they had no clue.

Aside from the stress and frustration it caused, I viewed this as a opportunity to practice patience. For someone who is perpetually impatient and irritable as a side-effect of chemical poisoning, this has been quite a challenge. I resisted the urge to scream at them, HOW CAN YOU BE SO THOUGHTLESS? I avoided the impulse to sarcastically berate them in writing, HOW CAN YOU BE SO STUPID? I abstained from being disrespectfully unfriendly, ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME? I took a step back (and out of their air space) in each instance and let the anger wash over me and reminded myself these people don't deal with stinky poisons on a daily basis like I do.  I taught myself how not to burn bridges with my vile tongue. I was so thankful for people who wanted to visit and TRY to be fragrance-free I took too many risks. As a consequence I'd be forced to go to bed for hours if not days feeling so ill I couldn't function. It's been a great learning experience. YES! I can be around real people and not kill anyone, but it's exhausting. It's easier to be a hermit. There is a reason I've exiled myself out in the middle of no where - a place people do not want to visit. It's less tempting and less compromising. I've kind of given up on the search for new friends...for now...and I'm thankful for my isolation.

Anyway, yes, some set backs, but I prefer to concentrate on the positive experiences. People can make life really enjoyable!

BAD STUFF:

1) Health care and mystery pain. Too many useless, expensive doctors wanting to do too many unnecessary, expensive tests with no answers and no solutions. I got really tired being quoted $1300 for labs only to be told after I complained loud enough that, OH! there is a discount and I guess we can give that to you for only $500. What is with these two-tiered health care costs? If they think they can get away with it, they will. I finally self-diagnosed myself and things have been improving. Whether my self-diagnoses are accurate is anyone's guess, but my assumptions can't be worse than the ignorant opinions of doctors with dollars signs in their eyes who all contradicted each other!

2) Useless insurance coverage. My insurance decided I wasn't paying enough money through the health care exchange and refuse claims without telling me. Nine months later one of my doctors contacted me to let me now this is what they were doing. When finally questioned, they said it's not their job to communicate with the customer as the customer should call them if there is a problem. Of course, they were taking the money I was paying, just not providing the service according to my contract. I wrote to anyone who mattered included every political representative in my area voicing my displeasure with the health care system demanding an apology from the insurance company. I was immediately informed by the powers-that-be I WAS paying the correct amount and after a month of bureaucratic bullshit, the insurance company sent a written apology and resumed service. The apology was really surprising! Needless to say, they are no longer my insurance company. When are we getting single payer insurance coverage? This corporate sleaziness has got to go.

However, for 2015, the Good far outweighs the Bad. It's been an excellent year!

New Year's Resolutions: Vote for the presidential candidate who supports universal health care (that's NOT Hillary!), maybe next year I'll finally get to move, and NO DOCTORS if I can possibly help it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I wish everyone much joy and happiness in 2016.