2025 was weird and wild!
GOOD...MAYBE EVEN GREAT
The Great Adventure: What an adventure! I saw places I always wanted to see! Alaska! The West! East Coast! New England! Midwest! Canada! 50,000 miles, twenty-five states and five Canadian provinces in a year! I look back on this experience and think, WHAT THE HELL??? Did I really do that? It demanded self-sufficiency, resilience, resourcefulness and a whole lot of patience. I survived the good, the mediocre, the boring, the frightening, the terrifying, the amazing, the best of times and the worst of times. The most memorable, positive experiences: 1) Walking past Brad Pitt on the streets of Bozeman 2) The Bright Blue Ferrari covered in mud on the AlCan Highway driven by the most gorgeous man I'd ever seen in my life, 3) Three bears trying to break into my van in Idaho, 4) The Lost River Gorge and Boulder Caves, 5) Campfires and River Dipping in Montana. Wow!
Big Blue : I finally found a van! She never broke down once. Kept going on the worst of roads. Rescued me from sand, mud, monsoons, thunderstorms, lightning, bad drivers...and she just kept going. Many times I slapped my palm on the dash and screamed, "Excellent job, Big Blue! You did it again!" What would I have done if I never found her? In what toxic apartment would I have been forced to live? How much in rent, utilities and general expenses would I have been forced to pay? Maybe I would have ended up in a tent on a sidewalk? She affords me freedom and adventure, most importantly, a safe place to live.
Friends: I really appreciate the good people in my life and the fact they continue to keep in touch even as I gallavant all over North America. They don't realize how much their constant communication helped when I fractured my ankle. I struggled with overwhelming fear, depression, and anxiety and I felt so utterly alone in the world when it seemed like everything was crashing down around me. They kept emailing, asking how I was or where I was which kept my spirits from sinking.
Strangers: I am still so grateful for the strangers who helped me when I fractured my ankle. They could have walked away and left me at anytime. Instead, one offered to take my van to a safe place, another picked me up from the hospital, found free crutches online, and cared for me for a week. As I painstakingly made my way back to the states driving with my left foot and unable to walk, a few strangers volunteered to pump my gas for me since I couldn't get out of the van. One woman in Colorado volunteered to shop for me (the electric cart wasn't charged)! The Park and Ride guys at the hospital were kind and helpful as I convalesced in a hospital parking lot. I don't know what I would have done without the kindness of strangers.
NOT QUITE SURE WHERE IT GOES
Tucson: I've had some bad experiences in Tucson that haunt me. The city is filled with psychopaths who still give me nightmares. However, when I rolled back into the city after my travels, I felt like I was coming home. The desert smelled glorious, the sun was shining, and the mountains glistened gold. Still, too much traffic and too many assholes in one place. Time will tell.
Pen Pals: Hmmm...I started out with eighteen pen pals. Some naturally fell by the wayside; others switched to email long before it was necessary. However, when I hit the road and became unable to get mail, many of my pen pals opted not to email. In many ways I don't blame them. There is a difference between getting a real letter and getting an email. I did discover pen pals are not friends. What I thought was friendship through months if not years of written confessions was too easy to throw away. I enjoyed decorating envelopes and stationery, but now that I have zero motivation toward creativity and NO art supplies, I've lost interest in pen palling. I now have one pen pal and she keeps sending me scented letters so that's going to end!
BAD AND UGLY
The Great Adventure: Good god, the stress and worry nearly killed me. The expense! I was paying at least $1,000 in gas a month! One month I paid $6,000 in van repairs and maintenance. Contrary to popular opinion, living in a van is not cheap and for me, rarely relaxing. The worst experiences: 1) slipping in beach mud and fracturing my ankle, 2) stuck in deep mud in Flagstaff for five hours trying to dig my way out while wearing a cast that I wasn't supposed to get dirty or wet (mud is a constant theme and will be the death of me!), 3) scary, beer-guzzling, asshole mansplainer in Idaho, 4) thunderstorms like waterfalls and ceiling leaks, 5) driving on an almost flat tire through Canadian mountains with a drop-off cliff praying the tire would not blow out before I got to the dealership, 6) driving straight up then down a very narrow, icy mountain pass in a blizzard 6) not being able to find healthy food and driving for hours and hours in search of food, 7) scary overnights, 8) freezing overnights, 9) hot and humid overnights.
Van Life: Living in a van is fun if everything is perfect, but it rarely is. When the temperatures are reaching in the 90s to 100s, it's not fun. When the humidity is high , it's not fun. When temperatures are below 50s, it's not fun. Almost running out of gas because there are no gas stations, not fun. If the thunderstorms are so violent one has to pull off the freeway, it's not fun. Being stuck in the mud for five hours, definitely not fun. When there is a dead rat in my walls and the stink is unbearable, it's not fun. If the van isn't running well, it's so damn stressful it's not fun. Mosquitoes buzzing in my ear at night makes me insane and is not fun. Peeing in a bucket is not fun. Missing the bucket, not fun. No showers or bathing for over two months, not fun.
Ankle Fracture: I'd never broken anything in my life. This was traumatic. More importantly, being alone in a foreign country, living in a van, unable to walk or fend for myself, and finding out insurance doesn't cover the emergency room was a nightmare. The vulnerability was frightening. The impending medical bills were stressful (but ended up not being that bad, it was worrying about the unknown that was the worst). Health care is bad even on a good day.
People: I hate people. I hate liars. I hate rude, disrespectful people. I hate manipulative, controlling men. I hate sociopathic women. I hate thoughtless people who stink. I hate bullies. I hate people who disappointment me and they always do...I've encountered all these types and more in the last year.
