The Princess

STINK INVADERS

 

Every summer the princesses are out walking the streets selling themselves. Fair princesses. (See above, second from the left with the tiara and nervous smile.) They sell a button or a pass or something to get you into the fair. The princess who sells the most gets to be queen. My first year here the queen lived across the street from me which was quite exciting. The next year I had one walk right up to my backdoor. This was before I had "NO TRESPASSING" signs on the gate so they had easier access. I did, however, have a "FRAGRANCE FREE" warning on my porch so when I saw the Princess at the door, backing away carefully with her eyes on the sign, I opened the door and said, "Hello." She jumped like I was barking at her, looked like she was about to cry, and apologized profusely, "I'm so sorry! I'm wearing perfume!"

 

I thought it was so sweet she was at least taking my sign seriously.

 

This year I was out in the garage when the Princess arrived, so she didn't see the sign, but I was ready. She gave her best royal smile and sales pitch on the benefits of buying a button and supporting her candidacy. I could have asked her what her vision was for world peace or how she was going to make a difference with her life, if she had any notable talents or did well in school, but instead I asked the question, the only question that really matters:

 

 

"Do you wear perfume?"

 

 



"Yes, I do."

Wrong answer.

"Perfume is very toxic and poisonous."

Her royal smile quivered slightly.

"I'm sorry, I can't support you. Good luck."

She copped a really nasty attitude, turned to leave, and sarcastically yelled, "Bye." If she had been wearing a crown, it would have fallen off her head. If she wasn't such a rude little girl, I would have felt badly.

I wonder if I made an impact? The next time she sprays on the stink, will she think about me? Will she wonder what I was talking about? Will she make an effort to find out what I meant? Or will she give herself an extra squirt to spite me?

I do hope a princess shows up who isn't smelly....