2018: Review and Resolution

2018 seemed to go like the speed of light. Maybe I think and say that every year? I've been feeling negative lately which makes it difficult to view the past twelve months objectively, but I'll try!

GOOD THINGS:

DIY house repairs. This year I finished painting the sides of my house, sawed a hole in the roof for added ventilation, replaced a fence post and repaired fence parts, lined the last closet, silver sealed my dormer roof (in blazing 90 degree weather), fixed a gutter (in a thunderstorm), and prepped the garage for painting although didn't quite get to it. I paid absolutely no one money for substandard construction. I'm very proud of myself.

Health care avoidance. I've managed to avoid doctors and medical professionals of all kind for the last eight months. This is after eight months of incompetence overexposure, however, so I plan to avoid any and all for the rest of my life to make up for the trauma.

The Dems. Crazy liberals. Snowflakes. We saw the election of some great people in politics, people destined to change the course of America. People like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez who is incredibly capable and intelligent with way more panache and energy than any of the old Republican guard. She's quick with the tweets and is going to kick ass. Also, Beto O'Rourke. I enjoy listening to his speeches. Watching Kamala Harris demand answers from the rapist pig during the Senate hearing made my heart sing. If she runs for president in 2020, she's got my vote. We need a strong woman leading the country. (Why do they call Democrats snowflakes? I've never figured that out. Snowflakes are miracles of nature, every one of them different and beautiful. Ummm....)

My blog. I love conversing with myself. It's great therapy. Thank you to anyone who might wander into it accidentally.

Free stuff, cheap stuff. The garage, yard and estate sales were outstanding this year!!

Jazz. I found a really cool jazz radio station online www.jazzradio.com and I listen to it all the time. Wonderful. So soothing.

New neighbor! New GOOD neighbor. No barking dogs. He removes the leaves from his tree off my driveway. He lets me dump my compost over his cliff. He gives me things. Wow. I forgot what good neighbors are like. I hope he doesn't change. Rathole does that to a person.

Fragrance-free friends. They are few and far between, sometimes in different countries, but I appreciate all the email correspondence, support, and kindness. They don't realize how much they contribute to my quality of life even those who rarely write. When they do it's lovely and makes me feel alive.

Glass on glass mosaics. OMG! Mosaics are so fun...alternating with frustration which kind of adds to the adventure. Patience has never been my strong suit and it is the number one skill one needs to master this art form although I can tell mastery will take me a lifetime. Glass doesn't always do what you want. Still, mosaics have replaced every substandard strategy for entertainment I've attempted as of late out in the middle of no where. The colors are so cheerful and the patterns so beautiful. It has provided me all kinds of joy.

"America"

IN THE MIDDLE:

Mosaics. I really should put mosaics not really here, in between good and bad. First, the tools and supplies are incredibly expensive. Second, my house is a disaster with most of my living room a workroom, the kitchen a process room, and my office a planning room. Just today I looked around for a surface and used the clothes dryer. What a mess!

Living Room. Most of the furniture has been moved out.

One of the kitchen tables. 

The other kitchen table...I've run out of tables. I keep eyeing the large
art tables out in my garage, but they are too heavy to move.
I've tried...twice! LOL!

Third, it is one of the most dangerous crafts I've ever encountered! So far my thumb got infected, swelled and the nerves were damaged for a couple weeks. I lacerated a finger nearly off on a piece of dirty, broken glass which gushed blood for about a half hour. The thumbs and first two fingers of both hands have callouses and scars from all the cuts and the wire I use to hang the mosaics is sharp and pokey which causes bleeding. I found some nitrile surgical gloves that are small, thick and tight and often cover my fingers with bandaids for protection. I also have to wear glasses to protect my eyes from the flying shards of glass and be very careful where I walk since these sharp shards of glass are all over my floors and must be constantly swept or vacuumed. Good god! No one ever talks about the risks and I often wonder if the risks are worth it, but I keep persevering! And of course, I'm pretty sure this is another creative endeavor that will uncontrollably reproduce itself and then get shoved into the back of a closet in a box never to be seen again (keeping all the other art things company). Until then, I'm having fun...and mosaics are still on my "Good Things" list!

Work. I like money. My eyes didn't fail me this year and neither did any other body parts.

Health. Everything seems to be working right now. Knock on wood. Eight months ago this was not the case. I recently read a book called Natural Causes by Barbara Ehrenreich about how we are unnecessarily preoccupied with keeping ourselves alive. As a biochemical researcher, her theory is once we get to a certain age our bodies are TRYING to self-destruct. It's the way organisms work. The older, less capable, less effective bodies make way for the younger so the species survives. Our bodies are not "holistic" as new-age doctors want you to believe and she gives the autoimmune diseases as an example along with inflammatory-based diseases such as Alzheimer's and atherosclerosis where our own cells are bent on destruction. On purpose! The money-making marketing of the health industry wants you to believe otherwise so you'll spend your dollars on exercise equipment, gym memberships, fancy foods, fad diets, and lots of DOCTORS and DRUGS in an attempt to defy the inevitable. There is no such thing as age-reversing. Great book and perspective. Like the author who has decided against future, unnecessary medical visits, I'm done....

BAD THINGS:

Health care. Useless, substandard, expensive, waste of time. This year was the worst. I saw at least a dozen doctors this year before I called it quits: three naturopaths, one functional medicine, three conventional twits, two eye doctors, one gastroenterologist, several radiologists, and one acupuncturist. And the hospital visit. Not one could diagnose me correctly nor offer any relief of any kind for anything.  I've assessed the last twenty years, most of it spent in the throes of MCS, and have realized not one medical professional has ever helped me with anything. NOTHING. The closest was my ex-environmental medicine doctor who provided a diagnosis and understanding, but prescribed "avoidance" as the only remedy. Sorry...not much of a solution, but perhaps the only solution until research gets its ass in gear. I am thankful for books and the internet and the ability to read or I'd be in misery.

People. I have come to the conclusion I hate people. Maybe I always did? I used to think most people were basically good, honest, kind, loyal, caring, but veered toward bad as an exception. I don't believe this anymore. I've always known they were disappointing, but I'm inclined to think they are useless and often evil on so many levels.  In my quest for new friendships and meaningful relationships searching both in my community and online, I've encountered way too much self-centeredness, selfishness, dishonesty, and stupidity. It makes me wonder if I've just become too intolerant. Maybe. Perhaps forgiving and settling for too long and now tired of it? Is this just how our society is now, everyone focused on themselves and what they can get from others? A culture of misery? Trumpism? Or maybe there are just no quality people in Rathole? And after each bad experience it makes me thankful I have the option to be alone. I'd rather be alone than deal with most humans. It makes me think I should get a dog.

Sexism. The Kavanaugh hearing was an eye-opener. We think as a society we have progressed into a civilization that honors all human dignity, but clearly women are still second-class citizens perceived as objects to be used, abused and thrown away. How someone like that can be nominated to the Supreme Court is shocking. But again, look who's president...

Dump. What a failure. What an embarrassment. Every step of the way he lies, manipulates, deflects, and insults. The ultimate immature, unprofessional man-baby. Clearly his agenda is to destroy our country by making us the laughing stock of the world as he spews his hate and ignorance. I pray he is arrested and imprisoned along with his sleazy cohorts and family. I'm sure all those Russian-loving, gullible imbeciles who voted for him are really proud. So shameful. How does anyone vote for such a horrible person without vomiting every time they look in the mirror?

Well, look how wonderful this year was!! I'm feeling less negative now.

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS:

1.) No doctors. Ever again.

2.) Avoid construction workers, although I am planning some plumbing and deck repairs in the near future so I guess I can't completely cross them off my list.

3.) Find some more friends. Although this was last year's resolution and I failed miserably at it, I haven't given up all hope. There must be someone out there who shares my ideals, can be fragrance-free, and wants to have some friendship fun.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!