The Oxymoron vs. The Patient Patient

I decided to check a local medical clinic to see if the doctor was taking new patients. It's the only one in my area I haven't heard bad things about and the only one who has never taken new patients. I'd really like to find a physician sort of close in case of serious illness or injury that would prevent me from traveling to a not-so-local doctor. Not that I have any doctor currently. Not that I really want any doctor now. I'd much rather never in my life see another provider of HEALTH CARE, a phrase which is an oxymoron.

The doctor is still not taking new patients, but they have adopted a new nurse practitioner who is. Hmm...OK, maybe I can establish care and just put them on hold unless something bad happens? And then pray nothing bad happens. They tell me I have to have an appointment every two years to maintain my patient status.

I have zero confidence in nurse practitioners. I had one tell me I was dying. I had another ignorantly blame a health issue on something minor only to end up in a hospital. Another who thought removing a body part to be the best remedy. I know for a fact they are incompetent and know nothing. I just want to establish care in case of an emergency. For lack of options, this is it and I'll take my chances only if I can't get somewhere else. I kept chanting, Don't expect competence or you'll be disappointed.

But the nurse practitioner (who will be referred to as the OXYMORON going forward) isn't qualified. (HA!) She's trying to become qualified and trying to get a contract with my insurance company. When will this happen? The office knows nothing. The receptionist tells me to check back in two weeks when she comes back from vacation. What? So the clinic closes down for the receptionist's vacation? I doubt it. Still, I ventured forth, kind and smiling with no intention of rocking the boat, and hoping to appear compliant, understanding, and patient. Or patient-like. Is that where the word comes from? Patients are called patients because they are forced to be patient when dealing with dipshit doctors who are incompetently practicing and pretending they know something? Hmmm....I've never made that connection before!

I contact them at two weeks exactly.  The OXYMORON is now taking patients and next week is available. OK! Don't forget to bring your co-pay. Ummm, no, I don't have a co-pay. Oh, yes, you do! Oh, no I don't. I'm failing at compliance already. I'm just not good with the medical establishment. Ever.

I go home and get on my insurance website. They don't have my new OXYMORON on their list. So how can she be one of their providers if she isn't on the list to select? I call the insurance company. After an hour of waiting I hang up. I wait a day later and try again and this time only wait for forty-five minutes. I try again. Yes, OXYMORON is on the list just not on the computer because the doctor's office has failed so miserably at managing their account. They sign me up with her as my primary care provider which means I get freebies. No co-pay. All this fighting with the front desk and arming myself with information because the front office doesn't know anything is a hassle. And I haven't even seen the OXYMORON yet! This is disturbing. I know it's a clue to run, but I don't. Be patient patient!

The OXYMORON's nurse smells like a French whore. Strike one.

The OXYMORON doesn't do compounding prescriptions. She doesn't know how. Strike two.

The OXYMORON doesn't seem to know what pericardial effusion is and tells me if I have it I should go to the hospital immediately.  Strike three. (I confess here I did not tell her it's a common Hashimoto's symptom. I was trying to be compliant and avoid letting her know her patient patient probably knows more than she does.)

The OXYMORON blames the weather for one of my health issues. What a moron. (At strike three anyone with common sense might have walked out but I am determined to be a patient patient.)

The OXYMORON blames another symptom on a health condition, but can't explain the logistics since I don't have any other symptoms.

The OXYMORON fails miserably at understanding another health issue and fails at giving basic advice. Online information is more helpful.

The OXYMORON doesn't even listen to my heart and after I leave she has to come out to get me and finish the basic procedure.

The OXYMORON doesn't even suggest labs. Really? I marked right on the intake form "underactive thyroid". So odd.

The OXYMORON hugs me. I draw the line there.

I followed this appointment up with a visit to the pharmacist. The pharmacist knows and gives more information than the OXYMORON.

I hope I never have to see the OXYMORON again. Ever.

A recent article stated these incompetent, waste of time and money OXYMORONS can make up to $100,000 a year and their job requires no previous experience! What an atrocity our health-uncare system is!!

Death by Dog

We have a pet epidemic in the United States as I've summarize in previous posts. I surmise this is due to the epidemic of mentally ill who find unconditional love from animals they keep as prisoners for their own sick, self-centered needs. They anthropomorphize these animals believing they are devoted children, friends or even lovers dressing them in clothes and sleeping with them in their beds.

Unfortunately, pets are considered property and laws don't fully protect them against bad owners nor protect them against this kind of abuse and neglect. Obviously, I am opposed to pet ownership. It's human entitlement that believes this is appropriate let alone sane. (For the record, I oppose zoos as well.)

Many MCSers own pets. I can only assume they don't have allergies or respiratory dysfunction that often comes with chemical sensitivity. Or they do and would rather be miserable and complain incessantly than take care of themselves. We are all different in our "multiple systems affected", but it still seems irrational to me for anyone with chemical sensitivity to willfully dabble in de-worming, de-fleaing, or any number of treatments that might involve chemicals. 

They feed their pets with cheap, toxic, chemical-laded pet food made in China. I have rarely in my life met anyone who feeds their pets raw meats as every dog and cat should eat for optimal digestion and health. Instead pet foods supplemented with fake nutrients and gluten is good enough which shows a total lack of pet-ownership responsibility. So many dogs end up with gluten sensitivities. This seems in opposition to a chemically sensitive lifestyle and I'm in constantly surprised when I hear about pet-owning MCSers. 

An article I recently read added to my anti-pet arsenal:  

A man died from “multi-organ failure” after being licked by his dog. 

Good god! You can read this article HERE  

In summary, the article states a man was licked by his pet and contracted Capnocytophaga canimorsus, a bacteria found in the saliva of cats and dogs. He began feeling sick with flu-like symptoms. After a few days red spots and bruising developed all over his body (see article for photos) before he was admitted to the hospital where he was diagnosed with kidney failure, sepsis and gangrene! His family eventually had him taken off life support and he died. 

How many times have I seen my friends kiss their dogs or cats right on their mouths? Or they let their dogs lick all over their faces. BLAH! How many times have these animals walked up to me and tried to lick my hand before I realize it. And the bad pet owners just excuse this bad behavior as being friendly. Clearly it's fucking life threatening!

It's so incredibly gross and makes me want to vomit. 

Thanksgiving Turkey

Today is November 20th. It's a week before Thanksgiving and today I am making Thanksgiving dinner. Why so early? Because I can. I have not eaten a Thanksgiving dinner for about twenty years. I don't think I've ever made a Thanksgiving dinner in my adult life. I made many of them as a child growing up in a large family, but never as an adult. I gave up on celebratory gatherings even before MCS due to the abundance of second hand smoke in the homes of my relatives that forced me to stand outside in the rain during holiday meals. Not fun or joyous. After I became ultra sensitive to chemicals and stink, holiday gatherings became off-limits. I'd like to say by that time I was used to no holidays, but truthfully, I resent stinky assholes who are so thoughtless they don't give a shit about anyone else.

Besides the isolation that denies me holiday celebrations, one person buying a gigantic turkey let alone making an enormous meal is not usually cost effective. Turkeys are huge! It's a lot of meat for one person! Besides all the trimmings that go with it. In my search for MCS friends I've always thought if I found others like me we could gather in support, but that's never happened. And I've never owned a huge roasting pan.

Until now! I acquired a free roasting pan a couple months ago. I think it's aluminum which is toxic and is thought to contribute to Alzheimer's. Shit. I'm doomed. But what about all those aluminum pans in my childhood? I'm already doomed. I did some research and read as long as you don't use the pan all the time, like everyday, there is no worry. Yes, I realize this is probably some marketing bull-shit hoping to sell more aluminum pans. Manufacturer's still make them and people still buy them. Oh well. Determined to eat a home-cooked turkey, I'm throwing all caution to the wind and living dangerously.

So I waited until turkeys were being sold at my local co-op. This is a once a year phenomenon right before Thanksgiving. These birds are organically-fed, no GMOs or antibiotics, and free-ranging. I didn't have any confidence this was a good idea. They are expensive and in high demand. Would there be any left by the time I got to the store? Would they be too expensive?

Hooray! There they are...frozen solid...just a couple left. One was $79.00. Whoa. Another was $59.00. Good god. I nearly gave up and as I've done in previous years began walking away from the freezer case muttering, "Chickens are good enough for Thanksgiving dinner." Then I spied a small, ten pound turkey in the refrigerator case (not frozen) across the aisle with my name on it and a price tag of $31.00. I hesitated. Even that is expensive. I justified it with, "I can spend this money once every twenty years!" and bought it. I imagined lots of leftovers to justify the expense. I also bought a loaf of gluten-free bread and a head of lettuce for some leftover turkey sandwiches.

It's a beauty!

So the temperature indicated it was done, but I go to remove one of the drumsticks and it's dark pink and kind of bloody. WTF?? I stuck it in for another 30 minutes and the pink went away but the dark meat is kind of rubbery. Eeewww. The wings were not removable. Does it need to be baked longer? How the hell would I know? So I stuck it in the oven for an extra hour. (Thank you to my very patient friend who I harassed all day begging for guidance.) The taste was OK, nothing special. I mashed some sweet potatoes and smothered it with cauliflower soup/gravy. It was OK.

But what about the leftovers? It's all about the leftovers. I waited patiently for the next meal hoping this very expensive experiment would pay off. Gluten-free bread, turkey, avocado, red onion, lettuce held together with lots of mayo. OMG! It was heavenly.

I savored every bite and then I made a second sandwich. OK, that's bad but the bread slices are tiny about the size of my palm. I miss sandwiches so much. I think that is the worst thing about this AIP grain-free diet. No bread means no sandwiches.

The summary of my Thanksgiving turkey experiment: "Chickens are good enough for Thanksgiving dinner." OR "Next year I'll just buy some turkey slices and gluten-free bread, and call it good."

HAPPY EARLY THANKSGIVING!

FINAL CONCLUSION: After four days I was absolutely sick of turkey and froze the remainder. I don't know if thawed cook turkey is edible so we'll see. I ended up with twelve servings but I can't remember if that included the original meal so maybe thirteen. Not bad. That's about $2.50 per serving so financially it was worth it. Those sandwiches were heavenly, however, my colon doesn't like lettuce. Oops. That's OK. Once every twenty years is a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

UPDATE: OK. Sixteen servings including the spectacular turkey vegetable soup/casserole I made with frozen turkey. And you shouldn't leave the turkey on the counter to cool too long and don't wait too long to eat the leftovers or you will get food poisoning. Leftover turkey is life-threatening. Jeez. That is the challenge - gorging on the leftovers before they are poisonous. There are a lot of leftovers. Yet I survived.