Thanksgiving Turkey

Today is November 20th. It's a week before Thanksgiving and today I am making Thanksgiving dinner. Why so early? Because I can. I have not eaten a Thanksgiving dinner for about twenty years. I don't think I've ever made a Thanksgiving dinner in my adult life. I made many of them as a child growing up in a large family, but never as an adult. I gave up on celebratory gatherings even before MCS due to the abundance of second hand smoke in the homes of my relatives that forced me to stand outside in the rain during holiday meals. Not fun or joyous. After I became ultra sensitive to chemicals and stink, holiday gatherings became off-limits. I'd like to say by that time I was used to no holidays, but truthfully, I resent stinky assholes who are so thoughtless they don't give a shit about anyone else.

Besides the isolation that denies me holiday celebrations, one person buying a gigantic turkey let alone making an enormous meal is not usually cost effective. Turkeys are huge! It's a lot of meat for one person! Besides all the trimmings that go with it. In my search for MCS friends I've always thought if I found others like me we could gather in support, but that's never happened. And I've never owned a huge roasting pan.

Until now! I acquired a free roasting pan a couple months ago. I think it's aluminum which is toxic and is thought to contribute to Alzheimer's. Shit. I'm doomed. But what about all those aluminum pans in my childhood? I'm already doomed. I did some research and read as long as you don't use the pan all the time, like everyday, there is no worry. Yes, I realize this is probably some marketing bull-shit hoping to sell more aluminum pans. Manufacturer's still make them and people still buy them. Oh well. Determined to eat a home-cooked turkey, I'm throwing all caution to the wind and living dangerously.

So I waited until turkeys were being sold at my local co-op. This is a once a year phenomenon right before Thanksgiving. These birds are organically-fed, no GMOs or antibiotics, and free-ranging. I didn't have any confidence this was a good idea. They are expensive and in high demand. Would there be any left by the time I got to the store? Would they be too expensive?

Hooray! There they are...frozen solid...just a couple left. One was $79.00. Whoa. Another was $59.00. Good god. I nearly gave up and as I've done in previous years began walking away from the freezer case muttering, "Chickens are good enough for Thanksgiving dinner." Then I spied a small, ten pound turkey in the refrigerator case (not frozen) across the aisle with my name on it and a price tag of $31.00. I hesitated. Even that is expensive. I justified it with, "I can spend this money once every twenty years!" and bought it. I imagined lots of leftovers to justify the expense. I also bought a loaf of gluten-free bread and a head of lettuce for some leftover turkey sandwiches.

It's a beauty!

So the temperature indicated it was done, but I go to remove one of the drumsticks and it's dark pink and kind of bloody. WTF?? I stuck it in for another 30 minutes and the pink went away but the dark meat is kind of rubbery. Eeewww. The wings were not removable. Does it need to be baked longer? How the hell would I know? So I stuck it in the oven for an extra hour. (Thank you to my very patient friend who I harassed all day begging for guidance.) The taste was OK, nothing special. I mashed some sweet potatoes and smothered it with cauliflower soup/gravy. It was OK.

But what about the leftovers? It's all about the leftovers. I waited patiently for the next meal hoping this very expensive experiment would pay off. Gluten-free bread, turkey, avocado, red onion, lettuce held together with lots of mayo. OMG! It was heavenly.

I savored every bite and then I made a second sandwich. OK, that's bad but the bread slices are tiny about the size of my palm. I miss sandwiches so much. I think that is the worst thing about this AIP grain-free diet. No bread means no sandwiches.

The summary of my Thanksgiving turkey experiment: "Chickens are good enough for Thanksgiving dinner." OR "Next year I'll just buy some turkey slices and gluten-free bread, and call it good."

HAPPY EARLY THANKSGIVING!

FINAL CONCLUSION: After four days I was absolutely sick of turkey and froze the remainder. I don't know if thawed cook turkey is edible so we'll see. I ended up with twelve servings but I can't remember if that included the original meal so maybe thirteen. Not bad. That's about $2.50 per serving so financially it was worth it. Those sandwiches were heavenly, however, my colon doesn't like lettuce. Oops. That's OK. Once every twenty years is a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

UPDATE: OK. Sixteen servings including the spectacular turkey vegetable soup/casserole I made with frozen turkey. And you shouldn't leave the turkey on the counter to cool too long and don't wait too long to eat the leftovers or you will get food poisoning. Leftover turkey is life-threatening. Jeez. That is the challenge - gorging on the leftovers before they are poisonous. There are a lot of leftovers. Yet I survived.