Salad Dressing (Recipe)

I love salads, but only if they are smothered in dressing. Preferably the creamy type, or the type that's not allowed on my diet. I used to eat lots of salad, but without good dressing I don't see the point. I've tried oil and vinegar and oil and lemon juice, but I'm not fond of the taste of raw olive oil or any oil. I can tolerate some apple cider vinegar, partly because I know vinegar is really good for adding acid to your stomach making digestion more efficient, but it still doesn't inspire me to eat salads no matter what I put in them.

 

The above salad includes green leaf lettuce, red leaf lettuce, carrots, avocados, onions, broccoli, and red peppers.

One of the local hardware guys has volunteered to be my advisor on all things construction including the building of a tiny house. He won't do it for me or even do it if I pay him a whole lot of money. He's building a house so he doesn't want time taken away from getting his house done. He came over a week ago to offer some advice on a variety of construction projects I am planning. When I finished with my list he asked, "Is that it?"  Just then I spied the new bathroom faucet I purchased over two months ago just before I found out my plumber quit his job. That bathroom sink has been leaking in many places for a while. I've tried fixing it myself, but I can't get the knobs to turn. I think they might be rusted or something. Complications I don't know how to troubleshoot. "Hey, I can't get the water to turn off under my bathroom sink. Can you watch while I do it and you can give me advice or instruction if it goes wrong?"

He did for about two minutes, then told me to get out of the way. He fixed the whole thing and replaced the valves in about ten minutes. You can't imagine how appreciative I was as trying to find a plumber is near to impossible these days. I offered him money and he shook his head so I invited him for dinner. I know he's a junk food junkie so he asked first what was on the menu. As luck would have it I didn't eat lunch and had salmon steaks thawing in the fridge. SALMON! Hey, it could have been hot dogs or something less desirable! He might have preferred hot dogs, but he always tries to tell me he eats healthy aside from the junk. I asked if a salad was OK for a side dish, but I didn't have dressing. He asked if I have fresh lemon as lemon juice would be fine for him. Yep!

As we are sitting down to this magnificent feast and I hand him the fresh, squeezed lemon juice he says, "Sometimes I add orange juice to the lemon juice to make it less tart and more sweet."  Hmmm... that sounds interesting. I have an orange! It was heavenly! Squeeze one half lemon and one half orange. Pour it on. Truly yummy. And it's so easy. Who would have thought I'd get healthy recipe ideas from a constantly caffeinated processed food addict? He actually joked through the meal all the healthiness might make him drop dead.

As he was leaving I again thanked him (about the seventh time) for fixing the plumbing that had been sitting around waiting to be fixed for months, and he said in that smart-ass tone he always uses, "Yeah, how much money did that save you?" I always forget it doesn't pay to thank men too much or they assume you owe them. And not in a good way.

I responded, "A lot! How much money do you think a totally organic, fresh salad with wild-caught Alaska salmon, personally cooked and served by a charming, conversational hostess cost? Oh, and you don't have to do dishes either."

He laughed and said, "I'll trade work for food." I don't think he remembers he offered this once before, but when my eyes lit up he quickly backpedaled with "Just joking!"  I'd gladly cook for someone who would do all my construction for me.