Movie Reviews

Due to my self-imposed exile and isolation, much of my entertainment is spent at home watching television series and movies. Especially during the cold winter months. It keeps me sane until gardening season starts in May when the days get longer. Until then I hibernate indoors. Like a bear.

I get all my DVDs from the library which cuts down on costs, and besides, the local video store owner wears perfume so patronizing her establishment is out of the question. Our community library is so small most movies must be placed on hold. Sometimes those hold lists are long and I can wait for up to six months to get a title. It's definitely a test of patience. What is really frustrating is waiting so long and the DVDs arrive perfumed because a previous library patron wiped her stink all over it. This is the disadvantage of libraries, however, some movies are starting to be available for online streaming.

It's easy to keep up with popular movie releases due to all the advertising, however, many obscure titles I find through the previews shown at the beginning of a feature film. It amazes me how many movies are made we never hear about and fun to find less popular movies to watch. Some are good, some are not so good, and some just tolerable. Here are a few thoughts on most recently viewed titles:

Basquiat  It's about the 1960s street artist and heroin addict Jean-Michel Basquiat. It was an interesting story on his rise to fame from the streets to the world of art. Fame and notoriety never changed him and he died from a heroin overdose at a very young age. What a waste. The weirdness of artsy people is always fascinating and David Bowie played Andy Warhol so that was fun. ***

Boyhood with Patricia Arquette and Ethan Hawke. It was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Picture which truly baffles me. Yeah, I think it's really clever they filmed it over twelve years and used all the same people rather than different actors for different stages in the kid's life, but I really didn't see the point. Yeah, people age in real life, even celebrities. So what? The story was boring and the acting adequate. Arquette received an Academy Award for her performance which also baffles me considering she was running against Meryl Streep's performance in In the Woods. **

The Face of Love  starring Annette Bening, Ed Harris and Robin Williams. This is about a woman who's husband dies after thirty years of marriage. The love of her life. She sees, stalks, and meets a man who looks just like him. She automatically falls in love with him...or is she just still in love with her dead husband? The most memorable moment is when Ed Harris talks about how growing old sucks. I agree with his sentiments exactly! Why in the hell is getting old promoted as such a wonderful time, something we should all look forward to? I think the theme of this movie is our reliance on dreams and our aversion to reality. The movie dealt with grief and was sad in that respect, but new love is joyful. Usually. New love based on the memories of a lost spouse is, however, bittersweet. I didn't like the ending at all and I kept screaming, "You foolish, stupid woman! Get over yourself!"  I haven't seen Annette Bening in a movie for a long time so it was nice to see her in something. ***

The Grand Budapest Hotel with an all-star cast including Ralph Fiennes, Adrien Brody, Jeff Goldblum, Bill Murray, among others. This was an adventure comedy about a concierge and his lobby boy at an international resort. It was like an old 1940s movie with slapstick humor, mayhem, and bizarre characters. Excellent acting. It was fun. It was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Picture. ****

Gone Girl with Ben Affleck. I had to wait forever to get this movie out of the library and while waiting I tried reading the book. It was so horribly written with unrealistic characters and bad dialogue I had to stop after three chapters. It's right up there with Fifty Shades of Gray in terms of writing quality. I'm pretty sure the authors of these books are teenagers. I didn't have high expectations for the movie, but, hey, why not? I thought the movie was much better than the book. How often does one ever get to say that? However, I hated the ending. HATED IT.  It was so unrealistic I felt it ruined the whole movie. ***

Maleficent starring Angelina Jolie. No cartoons. Real actors playing fantasy characters. It's a take on the Sleeping Beauty fairytale featuring the evil Maleficent and how she got that way. Interesting. I liked the sets and I enjoy a "strong, kick-ass woman" theme. Casting Angelina Jolie was an excellent choice, but her performance was really stiff and laughable. She spent most of the time glaring at things, but the glaring was well done! I guess if one is to play an evil fairytale character being melodramatic is acceptable, but I found it to be a little over the top. Kids would love it. **

Men, Women, and Children  with an all-star cast including Jennifer Gardener and Adam Sandler with Emma Thompson as an other-worldly narrator. It's about how people are using the Internet and how it affects their relationships. The basic theme is "technology is evil" as it promotes bullying, backstabbing, lying, cheating, pornography, and prostitution. Bottom line: it clearly doesn't promote relationship building or family! The theme was right up my alley and it was bit unnerving listening to Emma Thompson say nasty things in her proper, Shakespearean English accent which made it more entertaining. LOL. ****

Mr. Pip starring Hugh Laurie is about the last white man on the island of Bougainville during civil war. The village needs a teacher so he fills in by teaching them about Great Expectations which takes a turn for the worst when the uneducated military shows up and thinks Mr. Pip is a spy of some sort. The acting and scenery were good, but the story was really, really disturbing with too much violence that leaves you feeling damaged and haunted. Kid killings never sit well with me. ***

Rachel Getting Married starring Ann Hathaway. I don't think I've ever seen Anne Hathaway in a drama. This one was about a perpetually screwed-up young woman getting out of rehab just in time for her sister's wedding. She's so self-centered and entitled she creates a whole lot of family drama not appreciated by anyone. Great acting and it's a great story if you want to sit for over an hour immersed in family dysfunction. Unfortunately, it's not my favorite subject as it reminds me too much of my own family. For that reason only, it gets three stars. ***

Rudderless starring Billy Crudup with Felicity Huffman about a man who's son dies and the aftermath of loss. The man discovers his dead son's songwriting recordings and starts a band. It was a little slow yet deliciously sentimental. The acting and photography were good, then about halfway through the audience is given some extra information that changes the entire movie. I love a good surprise. I couldn't stop thinking about this one. ****

 UNTIL NEXT TIME...

BTW, I WELCOME MOVIE SUGGESTIONS.

SOMETIMES I RUN OUT OF TITLES AND IDEAS AND CAN'T FIND A THING TO WATCH.

Spring Blossoms

 

Fruit trees are in bloom!

 

 

Apple

 

 

Cherry

Italian Prune

 

Italian Prune

This is the first year the Italian Prune has blossoms!

 

I might get lots of fruit this summer!

 

Hooray!

The Last Woman on Earth

The latest trends in television shows are post-apocalyptic themes applauding the end of civilization. We like the idea of wiping the slate clean and start over with new beginnings for humankind. The underlying message no matter how this theme is presented is: We really screwed this up.

Any number of things might cause this annihilation: nuclear war, alien attacks, viruses, Republicans, or some unknown sci-fi reason for all electricity to cease working. I love fiction. We are so forgiving and accepting of strange plot lines. There are always a few survivors left to pick up the pieces, but most importantly, the world is thrown into a pre-technological state. A storyline that would cause many television-addicted couch potatoes to panic, but for the rest of us we salivate at the thought of a simpler life.

My favorite show is The 100. It's about earth becoming uninhabitable due to an overabundance of radiation after a nuclear war and the only survivors were those on the space stations. The culture created from being cooped up on a space ship is fascinating. Any tiny infraction and the perpetrator is "floated" - death by space. Unless they are under age, then they go into juvie jail to await their eighteenth birthday and a court hearing to determine if they are capable of being model citizens. It's ruthless. After 97 years, the space stations are running out of air, so they send 100 juvenile delinquents to the ground to see if it's habitable yet. If it's not, bye-bye loser kids. I love the show. I'm addicted. Normally the writing is outstanding, but season two's finale just aired and it was absolutely horrible. Maybe it's the beginning of the end for this series? Still, I'm in the throes of withdrawals and I hate having to wait until September for a fix.

These themes are nothing new, in fact very old. Noah and his Ark comes to mind. God thought we (or he) fucked up royally and decide to start it all over. Great idea. And the biblical apocalypse ideal was invented before we even had technology! I guess no matter what time period, life has always sucked. Now though, if you are the only one on earth, there would be no wars, pollution would eventually dissipate, chemical production would stop, perfume-saturated people would cease to exist, evil people would be gone, plants would start growing over all the cement. Back to nature. No phones ringing, no computers demanding your attention, no televisions warping your mind, no news programs scaring you senseless. Peace and quiet.

Are you all watching that new show The Last Man on Earth? Well, it's another goofy comedy destined to keep us brain dead for summer. This one is about the aftermath of a virus that wipes out nearly the entire population save one guy. He's not a real smart guy and he's not really very survival oriented either. He spends most of his time trying to find ways to entertain himself: using lamps as bowling pins progressing to bowling with cars, driving through store fronts, and using a swimming pool for a toilet because he's too lazy to haul water. Mindless entertainment and immature destruction. From what I've read, it's getting more viewers than that cognitively-impaired cartoon Family Guy, an indication the middle-American viewers aren't real bright either. BUT it's one of those shows that sparks your imagination and inspires fantasy. What would it be like to be the only person left on Earth?

The opening episode shows this guy driving around the USA in a tour bus collecting whatever he wants: famous paintings, dinosaur skulls, Dorothy's ruby slippers, expensive wine, and the presidential seal. Each town and city he drives through, he uses the speaker system to call out for anyone else who is alive. He also posts notices all over that he is living in Tucson and come find him because he's exceptionally lonely (and desperately horny). Now, if you were the only person left on Earth, with no electricity or running water, would you go to Tucson? Land of 120 degree temperatures? Large snakes and spiders? No air conditioning? Hell no! It would be like living in Hell. See, he's not very smart.

What would you do if you were the last person on Earth? Chemical sensitivity makes one feel isolated, but what would it be like if there were no other people around to poison you?

I'd hit the road. Not necessarily to find other people as I think that could pose a problem in terms of safety. The series Revolution clearly spelled out the dangers one would face if all technology died. Survival is not a pretty sight if others [evil people] are still around. (I learn a lot watching TV!) However, eventually, I'd get curious. If I'm alive, it stands to reason someone else is still alive. I'd go searching just to make sure I'm the only one left. Rather than drive aimlessly looking for people, I'd have a plan. First, I'd find myself a gun, a crowbar, and a U-Haul. Eventually I might trade the U-Haul in for a really snazzy sports car like a Porsche or a four-wheel drive, but for now I need to gather supplies as I travel. I'd stock up on organic bedding and linens, healthy canned foods, gardening supplies, toilet paper, clothes, face masks, camping supplies, tools, more guns, a generator, first aid supplies, and lots of bottled water. I know someone who is a survivalist and she advises to have these things already stocked in your house just in case. Hmmm... I'd ransack Whole Foods. I might snatch a Monet or Rembrandt along the way, but only if it's convenient. I'd fill my U-Haul and head for temperate climates.

California, here I come! I think just north or south of San Francisco would be awesome. Near the ocean. Maybe Carmel. Not too hot not too cold. I'm sure I could find a lovely house with a nice sports car in the garage. Something with a pool. And lots of land with fruit trees and garden space. Or maybe I'd head down to San Diego to find Jason Mraz's avocado farm? That would be good. I could live off of avocados. Heck, maybe he survived? (Since I'm fantasizing I might as well make it good.)


The main character of this show is such a doofus he doesn't seem to have a clue how to survive or the inclination to think beyond one day. In the first episode he's living off packaged junk food and laying in a kiddie pool filled with alcohol while he drinks it from a long straw. The dream of all stupid people. I do understand it's all about the entertainment value, but even with this show the boredom of laziness takes it's toll and he decides to kill himself. It's the most ignorant attempted suicide I've ever seen, but again, it's just for entertainment. The star of the show isn't going to die in the first episode.

It's implied there is no meat since meals are made from "raisin balls" so I assume no animals survived? If they did in my apocalyptic world, I'd have to find some cows and bring them back to my new house in Carmel.  Chickens, sheep and a horse, too. If there aren't any animals, then I'd be living off canned foods until I can get a garden started. California would be good for some year round gardening.

If no animals survived then no dogs did either. That would be my dream. If humans died, but dogs didn't that would be very bad with all those hungry homeless hounds forming packs and looking for food. I'd have to arm myself with several [machine] guns. I'm going to have to ransack Cabelas, the hunter's vortex for all killing supplies.


The most obvious worry for me aside from starving dogs or surviving psychopaths would be you'd never want to need medical attention. Injuries or illnesses, even minor ones, might be life threatening. This is why I think the doofus's plan to drive himself in to a rock was really lame. If he didn't die, he could be in a whole lot of misery. I wonder what happened to all the dead people? This show is a comedy so a lot of the back story is ignored. Dead, rotting, diseased bodies all over? That could be a problem. Stores filled with rotten meat? It could get ugly.

With a generator I could use a washing machine. I wouldn't want to hand wash clothing or bedding. I can't imagine. That would be my worse nightmare. Water quality would be an issue as well as finding and maintaining a supply of quality food. What other negatives would there be?

Since this is my fantasy, I'll avoid thinking about negatives and just concentrate on how wonderful it would be. I'd spend my days gardening, harvesting food, gathering supplies, walking the beach and exploring. No crappy people, no dogs, no computers, no television, no money, no taxes, and lots of free stuff. The world would be my Freecycle. I would love being the last woman on Earth.

What would you do if you were the last person on Earth?

The Poet I Am...Green Eggs and Ham

My favorite poetry is Dr. Seuss and that is also, for the most part, the extent of my poetry knowledge. It's because of Dr. Seuss that I can honestly say I really like poetry and have thought (to myself) how nice it would be to write poetry. I love song lyrics, too. They are poetry. Yes, I do like poetry.

My newly reacquainted ex-best friend from junior high is a poet. For as long as I can remember she has written poetry. I have never read any of her poems, but she used to always tell me she likes to write them and even now this is one of her hobbies. I am eager to read what she writes, but she never shares.

Last week when she re-disclosed her love of poetry, not only did it reinforce she really hasn't changed, but it got me thinking about writing poetry and how many poems I've never written. Whoa! Wait a minute! I wrote a poem once! Well, a half poem. Do I still have my single attempt at verse? I went searching for the elusive half poem in my computer's archives and there it was, still sitting there, not writing itself after four years.

Four years ago I read a few books on a subject that reminded me of how bad life can be. My life is really good, comparatively. It always amazes me how sheltered we can be to the pain of others if we are not experiencing the same situation. All this thinking touched my heart, fired up my creative juices, and forced my non-poetic brain into overdrive. I felt an odd poetic compulsion. Out of no where I composed about fifteen disjointed lines. Some of them even rhymed (!) and that made me feel inspired and officially poetic.

Unfortunately what I wrote needed something more. I left blank spaces between the lines to signify the missing something more and placed question marks where the wording needed something more. I had no idea what the something more was and I felt frustrated not being able to express my newly inspired passion before its impending fizzle. And here is what stops me from writing poetry every time - IT'S HARD! So I stopped, saved, and closed the document.

So last week I looked at my half poem with new eyes and ex-best-friend inspiration and thought Hey, it's half done! It even has a title. Wouldn't it be nice to write one poem in my lifetime just to say 'Yes! I have written a poem!' I have never included "write a poem" on any bucket list I've ever written, but I can do this if I put my mind to it. It can't be that hard. And my poem is going to rhyme, damn it. So I wrote....

When it was sort-of finished, I questioned if real poets would laugh and wondered if what it's missing would be clear to an experienced poet, but blind to a novice like me. I felt accomplished at least, although insecure about it. I went to the library to look at real poetry. In my untrained opinion, if it doesn't rhyme, it's not poetry. Anyone can write down a bunch of words in random order, pretend it's symbolic, and call it poetry. I suppose if it doesn't rhyme, but it makes you feel something that would work. However, I want rhyme and feeling. Is that too much to ask? If it doesn't rhyme it's missing a cleverness that just screams LAZY! to me. Reading poetry instruction books didn't help either. They just reinforced how little I know about proper poetry. I'm sure I had a brain block after all those years of Dr. Seuss readings.

So I thought I should find an online poetry reading support group or any online resource for some scrutiny on my new work of art. Lots of websites. I didn't even know where to start. Most of them gave directions on how to get your poetry collection published, but I only have one poem. Others wanted to own the copyright, but I wasn't sure what that would involve. I just wanted someone to read it and give me information.

What does one do with one poem? I emailed every friend I have to find out if they had advice or experience. All claimed they didn't know anything about poetry which I totally understand. One friend suggested a greeting card contest which would have been a great idea if my poem was greeting card material. (The thought, though, makes me laugh. If you ever read my poem, you'll understand.) What was worse is no one even asked to read my poem! I just want someone to read it!

So what does one do with one poem? Do I just leave on my computer for eternity or until I die at which time my files will be destroyed? Do real poets just write poems without ever sharing? Like any art: painting, music, or writing, doesn't it have added value and meaning when you share it? What is the point if it's not shared? I think sharing is the cherry on top. Maybe that's what separates real poets from pseudo poets? Real poets don't care about the cherry...or the rhyme. Or maybe real poets care, but like artists, the expression is too personal so sharing makes them feel too vulnerable? And criticism is too violating?

If anyone out there knows a good place to submit newbie poetry or join a poetry critique, let me know!

Fragrance is the New Secondhand Smoke

 "Fragrance is the New Secondhand Smoke" is an article by Madeleine Hawks on the blog Branch Basics. You can read the full article HERE.

She is calling for people to boycott scented products and gives excellent basic information on chemical sensitivity and the ramifications of "secondhand fragrances". I love it.

I wish they had t-shirts or something I could wear to support and advertise this idea. I think lots of people who are chemically sensitive will find her article, but in that way she is preaching to the choir. It's not the choir that needs to be convinced, but the millions of unenlightened stinkers who are still poisoning themselves and the rest of us without any thought or cognitive consideration. They just don't get it.

But the following paragraph from her article was a validating moment for me:

Unfortunately the term "natural fragrance" or "essential oil" on an ingredient list doesn't necessarily mean it is safe. In a study analyzing 35 top selling products, green, natural and organic fragranced products emitted just as many hazardous chemicals as regular fragranced products. That's because most essential oils in consumer products are processed with a toxic solvent. In addition, essential oils containing terpenes such as pine and citrus oils react with ozone in surrounding air to create secondary pollutants such as formaldehyde, acetaldehyde, acetone, and ultrafine particles.

I knew it! It's wonderful to read someone else has discovered essential oils or these "natural fragrances" aren't as natural as everyone assumes! I feel vindicated!

If you were to design a t-shirt for an anti-fragrance campaign, what would it say?

I'm a Gamblin' Kinda Woman

How many times have you heard someone wish they could win the lottery, or what they would buy if they won the lottery? Even I've said it, however, you have to play the lottery in order to win. This I have never done...until today. Feast your eyes on my very own losing lottery ticket!

 

New personal motto:

YOU CAN'T WIN IF YOU DON'T PLAY

 

If I won a million bucks I would buy a house with lots of property, buy a new car, and go to the doctor.

 

What would you do if you won a million bucks?

Bone Broth: The Experiment is OVER!

I got through one quart of knuckle bone broth over the course of a week, but broth is only good for 3-4 days so I threw the other quart away. Yes, it was a waste of money, but I was very happy to get rid of the remainder. Good riddance crappy knuckle bone broth! I still have $15.00 worth of giant knuckles in my freezer. Some instructions say to mix the knuckles with the other bones, but I think I might put them on Freecycle and give them away...

Saturday morning and I'm at the co-op staring at the meat fridge trying to decide what to buy and what do I spy...bones. Bones? On a Saturday? Small packages of bones! I check the labels BEEF MARROW BONES! So they come in on other days besides Tuesday. Talk about not getting accurate information from co-op employees. Those people irritate me constantly.

 

How many kinds of bones are there?!!! So far I've found soup bones, knuckle bones, ox-tail bones, and marrow bones. These marrow bones were $3.99 lb. but they are so small the whole package was only $4.31. So I bought one, brought it home, baked it, then boiled it for about 20 hours and added veggies at the end. Marrow bone broth tastes much better than the knuckle bone broth and similar to the soup bone broth. Or is it just this batch? These marrow bones also didn't produce gel so this would be considered a failure.

The next day I boiled the ox-tail bones for a taste comparison. As you may recall, these are $7.99 lb so twice as expensive. Supposedly they have more cartilage than the soup bones but with a layer of juicy meat for taste. They tasted tolerable, but not as good as the marrow bone broth. And no gel either.

Left: ox-tail broth, Right: bone marrow broth

 

The only gel-producing bones were the first soup bone attempt and chicken bones. Not sure what I'm doing wrong, but I'm tired of this experiment.

I think my bone broth days are finally over!! Hooray!

The Sands of Death (or I Got Crabs in a Bad Way)

I went to the beach today and all along the water line were thousands of dead crabs! I've never seen this before. I wonder why? Bacterial infection? Water temperature issues? Too much sunshine this time of year? Pollution? I have no idea. It's disturbing.

But I found two really cool shells to add to my orange shell collection.

 

UPDATE: I just read an article that explains the deaths are due to global warming and the development of oxygen dead-zones at the bottom of the ocean. How sad. You can read about that HERE. There are several articles on this phenomenon happening around the world with tens of thousands of dead bodies on beaches. Scary.

 

UPDATE: A friend just emailed me and told me the crabs are MOLTING. Not dead, just leaving behind their "old clothes" I guess. Females molt in the spring and although it's really still winter with all this sunshine they must be confused. It makes me want to go back and have a second look.