OMG! The Perfect Doctor!

Every month I announce to my friend, "I think I have found a doctor!!" And every month I retract my claim and say, "False alarm. Another orange cone."  Most of these doctors I never write about. Sometimes they are nice, but incredibly stupid. Others seem knowledgeable, but arrogant pigs. Some try to bully me into feeling guilty for declining to be an experimental subject for their thoughtless guesswork. Most if not nearly all, unfortunately, just can't fathom I am intolerant of all manner of everything and can't stop hawking their pills. Incessantly! I find this disrespectful. I hate it when they don't listen to me. It drives me nuts when they cop an attitude of condescension and then get irate toward me because I won't comply with their demands. I resent it when they think MY appointment, the time I am BUYING, is actually about them and their ego. In the last four months since my ER visit, I have seen seven doctors. All of them expensive; none of them helpful. This shouldn't be a surprise, but it is very discouraging.

Today I saw my eighth doctor. I actually found her about six months ago before this intestinal nightmare began, but I misunderstood her advertising. She's heavy on "appearance rejuvenation" which I found confusing so I hesitated. Is she a cosmetic surgeon? I wasn't sure. Her marketing seems focused on beauty and if my body is in pain I don't give a rat's ass about appearance. Some of her information states she is most definitely a former-conventional doctor with a very tiny indication she's a functional medicine practitioner. In my constant search for a doctor, her link jumped up once again and I took another look at her website.

She offered a FREE CONSULTATION. Not just a 10 minute meet-greet-and-quickly-street, but 45 MINUTES! Free 45 minutes. What? No way. What is the catch?? I emailed her office manager/receptionist expecting to not hear anything for a day or two and low and behold she responds within the hour. YES...it's free. And it's 45 minutes long!!! Really? Right up to the moment I'm in her office I didn't trust this, but YES, a free first appointment!

While I waited in the sitting room I perused her books and there on the shelf sat all the books of Amy Myers I just read. Wow. Talk about a universal convergence. She had some products on the shelf so I read labels searching for fillers and additives I cannot tolerate, preparing myself for the inevitable rebuttal when this doctor tries to shove the pills down my throat. I came to my freebie appointment armed and dangerous! (I really resent I feel defensive before I've even met a doctor!)

No shoving happened. She was calm almost not friendly, neutral, but not arrogant or unfriendly either. This kind of kept me in check as I'd been feeling pretty hostile toward doctors. She asked about my history, looked over my labs, and told me a little about her philosophy. She talked about genetic mutations and inability of some to tolerate much of anything. She recognizes the challenges involved in treating someone who is so sensitive to everything. As she looked over my labs and information she wasn't judgmental exclaiming horror and disbelief as so many doctors have done. She name-dropped people well-known in the Hashimoto's community. She emphasized her philosophy is DIET FIRST because if you don't fix what you are ingesting, nothing else matters. She talked about her career as a conventional medicine doctor and how disgusted she was with the arrogance of the profession and the model's inability to help patients. And last but not least she explained she does the free first appointments because she wants to make sure the prospective patient is willing to make lifestyle and dietary changes. If not, she doesn't see the point and it's a waste of time for everyone. She expects people to tweak their diet, give up their cigarettes, alcohol, and/or junk food and if they can't she will tell them this won't work for them. Well, I'm already there so it's all go for me. At one point I got tears in my eyes and exclaimed, "You are speaking my language!" I think this is the first time I cried tears of joy at a doctor's office instead of tears of frustration and anger.

I have lots of hope.

UPDATE: Her appointments are very expensive ($245.00 for 15 minutes) and she doesn't do insurance. She requires loads of unnecessary testing whether I have symptoms or not, whether I've had the test done or not. ("Oh, I would prefer using YOUR money and MY lab of preferences. They still showed negative.) At one point she said, "I won't address your weight problem, yet." (Thankfully she had priorities, for now. MY COLON DOESN'T WORK! I DON'T CARE IF I'M FAT! Yes, her health care model is all about appearance.) Last but not least, she has her DOG come to work with her!! In a medical office? That was the last straw for me....

Too many orange cones pretending to be doctors....