Dem Bones, Dem Bones, Dem Broth Bones

"Dem Bones" or "Dry Bones" is a well-known spiritual-turned-children's song written during the early 20th century. You can watch a performance of it by The [incredibly good looking and dapper] Delta Rhythm Boys (circa 1940s?) HERE or listen to the children's version with sexy dancing skeletons who I think would be really good at twerking HERE . Who would have thought I'd feel spiritual about bones? YES! I have finally found and purchased beef bones for broth!

Having missed the bone deliveries that normally arrive at my co-op on Tuesday night, I finally outsmarted myself by getting up before the crack of dawn on Wednesday morning and driving to the store just as it opened. Am I a model of persistence, or what??!! There they were waiting for me!  They cost $3.99 lb. (same as the other co-op) and ox-tail bones were $7.99 lb. A little spendy for bones if you ask me, but it's all about supply and demand.

Being really tired of always missing them and everyone explaining and apologizing how other customers are "hoarding" them, I bought not just one pack but two. Yes, I am now an official hoarder joining the millions of other bone broth addicts who are incapable of sharing. This is one of the many negative effects of the AIP diet: flatulence, starvation, selfish hoarding and competitive aggression. Evidence of mad cow?

As I waited for the front doors to open, another customer walked up behind me then past me as we were greeted and welcomed into the store. I glared at her from behind and sped up muttering threats just under my breath to the back of her head. I'm pretty sure if she would have headed down the meat aisle I would have tackled her screaming like a mad [cow] woman. Lucky for her, she walked right on by. She had no idea how close she came to being the victim of a random act of violence. (According to an unofficial source not at liberty to discuss details of the investigation, police still cannot determine what motivated this crazed cow to attack the other shopper. It's a mystery.)

 

The "bones" were packaged in bizarre white sticky paper with vacuumed-packed plastic wrap over that making it look like there were multiple parts.

I made the mistake of assuming I had "bones" when in fact I bought one humongous knuckle bone. Eleven dollars worth of cow knees! Or knee. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea. What the hell did I buy?

I'm not sure if one cow knee is worth $11, but I'll give this a try.

I baked this bone at 400 degrees for 20 minutes in lieu of pan searing. No meat on this chunk. Then placed it in my newly purchased yet used over-sized pot and filled it with water and a bit of vinegar which supposedly leaches the minerals out of the bones.

After suffering forty-eight hours of gross beefy smell, I had myself some authentic bone broth. The real thing. At the last minute I threw in some onions, celery, parsley, and garlic and simmered for a bit longer.

I tried drinking it fresh just after I strained it several times, it was like drinking liquid fat. ARGH! Heck, it LOOKED like a large pot of fat! And this photo was taken when it was still hot:

I've read the fat is good. It makes you feel full. This, however, was really gross. So I cooled my authentic broth and patiently waited for the fat to harden. And there wasn't much fat to remove...hmmm...and there wasn't any gel! How can that be after I boiled these babes for 48 hours? And it looks like sludge. And smells like dead bodies. Or smelly armpits. A rancid animal stink.

Did that stop me from tasting it? Nope. I am determined to do this right. The taste was tolerable but only because of the vegetable flavor. The texture is now creamy rather than greasy. Tolerable, but not something I'd look forward to drinking. All that work and expense made two quarts of bone broth which is fine since I don't plan to drink more than a half of a tiny tea cup's worth each day. I suppose this is how supplements came into existence: someone thought they could freeze dry it and stick it in a capsule to swallow so they wouldn't have to taste it.

So, I'm not feeling so spiritual anymore, but I am praying passionately for an end to this diet.

So what to I do with the other $15.00 hunk of cow knee still in my freezer?