March Movie Reviews

*****  Exceptional

****    Great

***      OK

**        So So

*          Blah

Alfie with the ever-charming Jude Law, 2004 version. I've never seen the 1960s version although I'm sure it's the same story only updated. It's about Alfie, a womanizing player who flits from woman to woman never caring, avoiding commitment, and totally self-serving.  By the end he's questioning the meaning of life and purpose of his existence. "What's it all about, Alfie?"  (Love the song.) Jude Law is adorable although exasperating, devoid of life-affirming priorities. ***

Any Day Now takes place in 1979 about a female impersonator (Alan Cumming) who's drug-addict neighbor has a son with Down Syndrome who she neglects and abuses. When she is arrested and imprisoned, he petitions for custody with his new boyfriend and lawyer (Garret Dillahunt). The legal system is biased against gay couples as adoptive parents and they fight an uphill battle that focuses on their lifestyle rather on what is best for the child. Sweet movie, performances are great, sad ending that I could stop thinking about, I don't like the title...***

Code Black is a documentary film on Los Angeles County General Hospital, a little about its ground-breaking history and a lot on the sad state of modern health care as well as how ER doctors are drowning in regulations that prevent them from caring for patients. ***

Danny Collins is about a famous yet elderly former 1970s rock star (Al Pacino) who in his youth was compared to Bob Dylan. He sold his soul to the music industry when he stopped writing his own songs and began a miserable second career making millions off of idiotic pop hits for the masses. For his birthday, his agent (Christopher Plummer) finds an old letter written by John Lennon to Danny sent to a magazine editor and never received by the recipient. Inspired and tormented by how this letter might have changed his life for the better had he received it forty years ago, Collins decides to reinvent himself, give up his teenage girlfriend, stop doing drugs, and reconnect with his adult son (Bobby Cannavale) who he never met (who is married to Jennifer Gardner). He moves into the New Jersey Hilton where Annette Bening is the manager. It had some really great LOL lines and scenes, heartwarming, sweet, some romance for old people, and delightful. Pacino was wonderful. The perfect aging rock star. Loved it. ****

Dean is about a young man who's mother died and the ongoing loss he feels a year later when his life continues to be off track. Nothing seems to be going right. He broke up with his fiancé, he ends up being the second best man at his best friend's wedding, he falls for a married woman, and he can't seem to finish his second book. He's an artist and his drawings illustrate his emotions in situations throughout the movie. It was sad yet clever with quirky characters and LOL moments.  Not sure I like the title.***

Downsizing  Such a WEIRD movie. Scientists developed "downsizing" or making people five inches high to save space, save resources, and eliminate the overabundance of waste. People are opting to downsize because 1) they want to contribute to a better planet or 2) because they can't afford anything as normal size people so their money goes twice as far and they can live like the wealthy. Paul (Matt Damon), an occupational therapist, and his wife (Kristen Wiig) decide to go small, but at the last minute his wife opts out leaving him to wake up alone, small, and in a new miniature community. His life becomes empty and meaningless, he ends up getting a job as a customer service agent for Land's End while living in a dinky apartment after his wife files for divorce. It just gets weirder from there, but never really interesting. **

The Equalizer Denzel Washington has some serious superhero skills in this one! Bob/Robert is a mild-mannered, hardware store manager with a mysterious past, beloved by his employees as he tries to help them be better people by encouraging them to eat healthy and do the right thing. He lives a quiet life, alone, can't sleep and spends his nights in a diner drinking tea and reading classics. He meets Alina (Cloe Grace Moretz) who frequents the same diner in the middle of the night. She is a Russian prostitute controlled by Russian gangsters with dreams of getting out of the business. When her pimp beats her up as an example to the other prostitutes, Bob/Robert goes after them. Then the bosses come after him. In the meantime he rectifies wrongs in the community where ever he sees them. Some serious superhero-ness with a dash of vigilantism! Excellent use of power tools as weapons. Normally I don't like shoot 'em up corruption movies with emotionless characters, but this one was outstanding with more humanness than blood and guts. Loved it! The end is a little unrealistic. If he's lived incognito for so long then spends too much time killing bad guys in front of everyone, I can't imagine he'd be able to go back to his regular life and be left alone. If anything the cops would be all over him for all the mayhem he's caused even if it's killing bad people. Still good. *****

The First Monday in May is about organizing the Metropolitan Museum of Art's 2015 exhibition "China: Through the Looking Glass" and the annual Met Gala fundraiser. Lots of history on the perception of fashion as art. It's amazing the work that goes into these events. The costumes are spectacular. ****

Fury is a World War II movie about an American tank unit in Germany. Brad Pitt is the commander. When one of the crew members is killed, a very young rookie takes his place. He's been in the Army eight weeks, trained as a clerk, and has never shot a gun. It's a steep learning curve. Excellent performances. Great story, very bloody, very human. ****

Ice Castles (2010) I absolutely loved Ice Castles from the 1970s with that adorable Robbie Benson. I was so young when I saw it I don't remember if the acting was bad. This remake is the same story with not-so-great acting. I wasn't even sure the skating was that good in most scenes. Great ending, and maybe my memory is idealistic, but I think the original packed more of a punch. ***

Keep the Lights On is about two gay men who meet through some sex phone line. Eric is a filmmaker and Paul is a lawyer by day, crack head by night. The decade-long roller coaster ride of this relationship was exhausting. **

The Lovers is about a dispassionate married couple (Debra Winger and Tracy Letts) who are so bored with each other they don't know what to do when they are in the same room. They are both having extra marital affairs, but their lovers are emotionally demanding and draining, constantly throwing tantrums because they aren't getting undivided attention. The stress is wearing them down and it is exhausting to watch. They lie incessantly to everyone. Eventually they find it easier to just stay at home with their spouse which rekindles their relationship. It was a fable for bad behavior. I got bored (or irritated) and turned it off. I think people who have had extramarital affairs would identify with it and like it, but I'm not that person... *

Mystic River is about three boys growing up in Boston affected by a childhood event when one of them was taken by two pedophiles. Fast forward 25 years later and the 19 year old daughter of one of the boys (Sean Penn) is viciously murdered. Another boy is now a homicide detective (Kevin Bacon) who investigates the crime and the third (Tim Robbins), comes home on the same night with blood all over him. Incredibly sad story on so many levels. All-star cast (Lawrence Fishburne, Marcia Gay Harden, and Laura Linney) with outstanding performances by all and two Academy Awards (Penn and Robbins). I read the book and have probably seen the movie at least three times. How is it that Kevin Bacon so sexy? Just his presence, the way he walks, the way he moves. Is it any wonder he had such a following? So interesting. *****

Paris Can Wait was incredibly boring. It's about a woman (Diane Lane) who is traveling with her film producer self-centered husband (Alec Baldwin) in France and gets a ride to Paris with a goof ball who is a lousy driver and who prides himself on his time-wasting tour guide abilities. I think someone must have been trying to benefit from the rom-com Lane was in about Italy. Just boring and the performances were outstandingly lacking in realism with stunted dialogue. Nice tourist scenery. I turned it off. *

Pieces of April was about a young woman (Katie Holmes) who has had a life-long, contentious relationship with her family as the belligerent, rebellious pain in the ass. She is living some slum in New York and although unable to cook, she invites her family for Thanksgiving. Her mother (Patricia Clarkson) is dying from breast cancer so the family sees this an the last opportunity for a family celebration. Expectations are low since their daughter has been a constant disappointment throughout life. As she begins to prepare dinner, she realizes her stove is not working. At one point she attempts to mash uncooked potatoes suggesting she's way over her head and we should expect this to be a disaster. She has rely on all the quirky people in her apartment building to help her and through all this human contact understands the true meaning of Thanksgiving. Excellent. Very sweet. ****

A Sense of an Ending is about a man (Jim Broadbent) who gets bequeathed a college friend's diary, but his ex-college girlfriend has it in her possession. He reminisces about time spent in college, his relationships then and his relationships now, ending with the idea that we create our own life stories by picking and choosing memories. Interesting. **

Starlet is about a young woman who buys a thermos at a yard sale from an old woman who tells her everything is non-refundable. When she gets it home and attempts to fill it with water, she finds there is $10,000 in bundled $100s in it. She's not sure what to do, but attempts to return it to the woman who starts screaming at her there are no refunds. She embarks on a relationship with her, meeting her at the grocery store, showing up at bingo games, offering to do things for her and pay her way. Once they get to know one another, the old woman confesses her husband was a gambler and left her mega amounts of money. It's a great story about human relationships. Later we find out our main character is a porn star (you get to watch porn for about 15 minutes...) and her little dog's name is Starlet. ****

Tulip Fever is about the sixteenth-century tulip craze in Holland and with the associated wins and losses of fast profit. It's also about Sophia, a young orphan woman raised in the convent, who marries an older, wealthy Dutch trader but is unable to dutifully give him what he most desires - an heir. He hires an artist to paint their portrait  believing his only legacy in life will be his beautiful wife. Unfortunately she falls torridly in love with the painter who then tries to strike it rich in the tulip business so they may run away together. Her maid's fish-monger boyfriend struck it rich in the tulip market only to be robbed and then waylaid onto a ship. After his mysterious disappearance, the maid realizes she's pregnant and to hide her maid's pregnancy and save her from disgrace and unemployment, Sophia pretends to be pregnant...and then she fakes her death in order to escape undetected. The rollercoaster ride of a plot was very entertaining. Clearly greed (vanity) is evil - a popular Dutch Baroque art theme and beautiful filmed in this art style filled with wistful maidens posing in otherworldly light. Beautiful costumes. ***

A Very Long Engagement is a French war drama with a very surreal sense of comedy about a young man who goes off to WWI. Shocked by his early traumatic experiences, he decides to have his hand purposely shot off in order to be relieved of his duties so he can return home and marry his girlfriend. Unfortunately this is grounds for execution and he and four other soldiers who also self-mutilated are used as battlefield decoys thrown out in front of the Germans for distraction. Meanwhile back home his disabled-from-polio childhood sweetheart is told he's dead, but she's not having it. She searches for truth in imaginary tests: "If I can count to five before the dog comes through the door, he is alive." "If I reach the corner before the car passes me, he will survive." It's very sentimental and sweet. She begins a rather elaborate search for him, hiring a private detective, contacting other veterans who were in the same trench, reconstructing history through flashbacks. Beautiful costumes, filming, and photography. ***

Watchers of the Sky is about the history of the United Nations' Genocide Convention and its founder and promoter Raphael Lemkin OR how utterly ineffective international law is at protecting innocent people from slaughter with the USA at the forefront of arrogant, self-centered apathy. The documentary addresses various genocides in history: Armenians, Jewish Holocaust, Rwanda, and Sudan. Many world leaders who support and organize these atrocities continue to go unpunished because so countries don't want to get involved. Humans disgust me. Their evilness knows no bounds. ****

We Were Soldiers was about the Vietnam War and a combat platoon with Mel Gibson as the commander. I had to fast forward through most of it - too much gruesome death and mayhem for me with limbs exploding off bodies and flying through the air.  I think if you like war movies, this is the movie for you. **

Winter in Wartime is a Dutch film with English subtitles about a Dutch family during the Nazi occupation. The next door neighbor's sons are involved in the underground and inadvertently involve their thirteen year old friend. When one is arrested and the other shot, the kid figures out they were protecting and caring for a British RAF pilot who's plane crashed and is hiding in the countryside until he can escape to safety. It was good. It must have been frightening to not know who to trust during the war. ***

COLONOSCOPY

First of all, if I didn't absolutely have to get a colonoscopy to find out what is wrong with my colon, I absolutely wouldn't. The opposition says this is a ploy of American doctors to make money. No other country in the world demands such an invasive, dangerous procedure to be done on patients just as a preventative measure. Unfortunately, with my non-working colon, most of the many doctors I've seen in the last four months won't treat me until I have one done for fear there is something serious lurking and treatments might complicate matters. So I don't have a choice. Well, I do have a choice, but fixing this colon is a priority right now.

My GI doctor assured me there was nothing seriously wrong with me. OK. So then WHY do I have to get this done? My naturopath said the GI doctor has no idea if there is something seriously wrong with me because she hasn't done the colonoscopy which is why she ordered it. Yes, GI doctor is a liar. What is new? It's really disconcerting to have doctors argue with each other through me.

And then there is the cost. Federal law claims with Obamacare we are allowed a free preventative, colorectal cancer screening via colonoscopy if we haven't been diagnosed with anything, but come to find out it's only free if they DO NOT find anything. If they find anything whether it's a polyp, mass or other growth, it becomes very costly. Or if it's diagnostic, then all freebies are in the toilet and it becomes twice as costly. One friend said hers was free regardless of the diagnostic purpose. So it seems every medical office, every insurance, every doctor, and every patient gets a different price and getting verifiable financial information is impossible until one makes and confirms an appointment. Mine will cost a base of $860.33 with the first polyp costing from 345.92 to 410.36 (depending on the technique used to remove it) and every polyp thereafter at half price. The required facility fee will be $570.35 for the first polyp and 285.17 for any others. Beyond that it will cost $90.00 per biopsy. GOOD GOD!

Of course, no one told me there is a choice of anesthesia vs. conscious sedation. When I called to get exact financial information the billing department told me the sedation is free, but the anesthesia is expensive. Needless to say, I called the scheduler back and selected the conscious sedation method. I was also hoping the drugs were less toxic.

And the bowel prep solution choices. One is called CoLyte (or GoLyte), mega doses (64 oz. per dose times two) of polyethylene glycol or Miralax on steroids. Since I started having problems with this laxative creating abdominal pain and burning (it causes peptic ulcers), I opted for the other. Suprep is sodium sulfate, potassium sulfate and magnesium sulfate, however, it involves drinking only 6 ounces of a horrible cherry-flavored solution mixed in 16 oz of water, washed down with two more 16 ounces of water. Online people with multiple colonoscopy experiences say Suprep is a much better experience.

But most insurance companies cover CoLyte ($29) and not Suprep which costs five times as much (about $125). One of the GI nurses offered to send me a coupon for a discount. I waited a week and it never arrived so I became proactive figuring nothing good would come from waiting for someone to do what they said they would, went into the office, and kindly demanded my coupon. I didn't get a coupon. Another nurse brought me out a FREE Suprep Bowel Prep Kit! WHOO HOO! I actually threw my arms around her for an impromptu hug. She recoiled as only a nurse would do. It pays to be proactive, but it's a lot of work to keep on top of people who don't give a shit about patients.

So, after waiting three months and not canceling which would have cost me a $200 cancellation fee, I started the low-fiber dietary prep. You can have cakes, croissants, ice cream, pudding, chocolate, and Jello, but you can't have vegetables or fruits. It's totally backward. I tried sticking to my diet, but definitely cheated with fruit juices, white rice, eggs, and sweet potatoes. The last two days were a liquid diet of juices and broths. Blah.

Suprep wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I'm not sure why all these drinks need to be flavored with toxic bad-tasting chemicals, but I drank it down with a straw and it was tolerable. At least it wasn't thick and chalky like the barium drink for the CT scan. After an hour of burping and feeling like an over-filled water balloon, it all started working. No cramping or pain. Every person reacts different to this solution: for some the diarrhea doesn't start for two or three hours, others it never starts. Some people have cramping and pain, others don't. I think since I'd been living off of laxatives for the last four months, my colon was used to working, but I was peeing every five minutes for about two hours.The second morning dose worked within fifteen minutes and it was just as if water was going through me. I was just thankful all those chemicals didn't kill me after glancing at the side effects packed in the kit. I avoided reading them. I didn't want to know.

The most stressful aspect of this colonoscopy preparation, other than pondering the fact you can die or be permanently maimed on the operating table is the driver requirement. One must have a driver. This was the reason I declined to have the colonoscopy done two years ago. Who? I don't have family and my friends aren't interested in taking a whole day off work to drive hours to my house, drive hours to the facility, sit for an hour or more, drive hours to get me home and drive hours to get home. I asked a few and they refused, but it was difficult to even ask or expect such an outrageous commitment. I checked various medical transport services but most required the passenger to be low-income, elderly, or disabled. I am none of those things so what does a relatively health-ish and young-ish person to do?

I found someone who was willing to drive me from her house, to the facility and back to her house on her day off, and then I would camp in my van in freezing weather outside her house. Not optimal. For this reason I had to choose a facility close to her house. There are none close to my house, but if there were that would not have been an option because of this transportation requirement. Everyone I know lives hours away from me. I had a feeling after being sedated and violated for an hour I would desire to go home and rest in my own bed, but what choice did I have?

I worried whether she would cancel on me at the last minute after reading about the experiences of others. No driver and I'd be denied check-in and have to pay that last minute cancellation fee. I had little confidence in her when she told me two days before the procedure about how she made another appointment during the time she should be driving me, "Is that OK?" HELL NO! WHAT THE FUCK?? was what I was thinking. I didn't scream at her. I was afraid if I started spewing stressful out-of-control exclamations she might cancel then what would I do? Finally she complied, "Oh! OK, I have it on my schedule now!"  NOW? NOW? I made this appointment three months ago, selected the day according to her requirements, and confirmed it with her at least three times since. Talk about adding to my already building stress level! According to online articles and comments, this no driver issue is a common problem for people who are single or new to an area.

My appointment was at 1:30pm. I got to town at 9:00am. Yeah, I probably didn't need to be there that early but I drove the van in order to stay the night. The van has 250,000 miles on it. I had phone numbers for taxi companies in case it broke down. I just felt safer knowing I was in the vicinity and I had some errands to run so plenty to do.

My friend didn't cancel and she showed up right on time. We checked in an hour before the procedure, still too early, but I didn't care as I feel less stressed when I'm early and can settle. I asked the receptionist about the sedation procedure as I was worried about the drugs and she confirmed, "Oh yes, you'll be administered Propofol." "What? Is that the conscious sedation method?" "Hmmm...ahh...no." She shuffled my chart papers, "Oh, you are doing conscious sedation so that will be Fenatyl." Right away I had no confidence in this hospital. I've learned the hard way no one is trustworthy in health care.

The waiting room stunk of something. I have no idea what it was. At one point I looked around for an air freshener. I saw multiple bottles of hand sanitizers all over the place. Was that what smelled? I excused myself I went out to the elevator area where there were more chairs by windows with a strong air ventilation exchange overhead. My friend read her book.

The nurse called me early. I figured this might happen which is another reason I wanted to go in early so I could get out of there early. I was starving. Her name was Cheryl. Big, blonde woman who cooed condescendingly talking to me like I was a five year old. That's fine, I thought, she's just trying to make me feel comfortable. She had me sit on the hospital bed and asked questions. I asked if I could go without the sedative and she lost the baby talk and acted offended, almost hostile, explaining how that would be unconventional and I NEED the sedative. I told her I'd rather go without if possible. She ignored my request. It was very frustrating. While going over the questions and paperwork she tried to tell me I was there because I had blood in my stool. NO, I am there because my colon isn't working. Do they know who I am? Does anyone ever listen?

She had me strip down and put on a hospital gown that was folded up near the pillow. She closed the curtains. When I picked up the hospital gown I noticed there was a large wet spot near the pillow and on the pillow. When I got the hospital gown on there was a small wet spot near my waist from where the gown was soaked. I didn't think anything of it. I asked to go to the bathroom one last time and when I got up to leave she noticed the wet spot, apologized, and started changing the pillow case. She didn't change the bedding.

When I returned she had me lay down on the bed to insert the IV and that's when I smelled the wet spot. Something strong, unfamiliar that tasted metallic in my mouth. I thought to myself it was probably some kind of drug or IV solution.

And then I started crying. It came on sudden. The nurse kept asking me what was wrong and truthfully, I had no idea. I told her it must be stress. I couldn't stop. The more she jabbed me with the IV needle, the harder I cried. Another nurse came in to confirm I was there because I had blood in my stool and I became almost belligerent, "NO, I  AM HERE BECAUSE MY COLON STOPPED WORKING FOUR MONTHS AGO!" My outburst shocked her and she excused herself to check with the doctor. She didn't realize how much control I still had. I kept crying.

The doctor sat next to me and asked what was wrong. I had no words. I had no idea. My cognitive function was gone. I felt confused. I finally said, "I really would rather not be sedated. I'd like to be cognitive enough to watch the monitor." She said I am getting "conscious sedation" so I will be able to watch the monitor. Great. She squeezed my arm reassuringly and left. I think they were as baffled as I was as to why I was crying. No other patient around me was crying, in fact most of them were laughing and joking with the nurses.

Another nurse came and gave me a very quick shot of Benadryl. I didn't even have time to argue, but I should have. They wheeled me into the surgical room. The doctor had me recite my name and birthday. I was baffled. Do they really not know who I am? I'm pretty sure she was testing to see how the Benadryl was working. Obviously I was way too coherent. They knocked me out totally with Fenatyl and Midazolam. I'm guessing I got double doses.

My beautiful butt...perfectly prepped,
no inflammation or infection, no wall thickening, no masses or growths
One polyp.

I woke up back in the pre-op room absolutely furious. I was out totally. No television viewing for me. Did they give me the bad drugs? Or just double dose me? Incredibly groggy, but feeling violated and betrayed. Thankfully the effects of sedation keeping me in control. I dressed and was escorted out to my friend who sat with me for the results and to be discharged. I glared at the doctor while she spoke. I think it was a good thing I was groggy or the skinny bitch would have got an earful. Or more.

I spent the night in the van, waking up constantly, enraged at everything that happened: the dismissive attitudes, the lies, feelings of betrayal. I was instructed not to drive for 24 hours but I kept sitting up to test how the drugs were affecting me. Every time my head spinned I laid back down. At five in the morning I felt fine, not great, but good enough to drive in the dark, in the pouring rain, on a winding country highway praying deer wouldn't jump out in front of me. Even when I'm fully cognitive I'm afraid to drive this highway at night in perfect weather. That's the advantage of drugs. I didn't care.

The whole next day I cycled bouncing from depressed and crying to screaming obscenities at the dishonest, betraying, insensitive doctor. This is what I call "rage cycling". In the world of bipolar illness it's called "ultradian cycling." I write about it in my post called "The Weirdness Awards: MCS Symptoms That Will Make Your Skin Crawl" you can read HERE.

I haven't had a chemical reaction like this since my Environmental Health Specialist shot me full of toxins for a very invasive allergy test sixteen years ago. I'm just not exposed to bad chemicals often. I know how to avoid them for the most part. I knew to stay in my house and ride it out. I knew to avoid the internet, the phone, and all contact with people. If you experience this side effect with strong chemicals, you know what a nightmare this is. My brain was exploding. Everything felt intensely wrong.

I read a book once on bipolar illness research and how substance abuse or other chemical exposures are part of every bipolar patient's history. I'm fairly convinced chemicals are the cause of bipolar illness but for the most part, this goes ignored. I cannot imagine living with this disease day in and day out, experiencing uncontrollable ultradian cycles continually. What a nightmare it must be! And with all the random acts of violence these days, how much of it is caused by chemical exposures?

So five days later with my brain back to normal, I went looking for the drugs that smell like metallic. Fentanyl doesn't have a smell. I couldn't find anything on the smell of Midazolam, but what I did find are some of the more unusual side effects usually experienced by children because they have been given too much. Susceptible populations like the elderly (or the chemically sensitive) are also at risk. Side effects include...wait for it...uncontrollable crying, agitation, confusion, aggression, paranoia, and violent tendencies. Patients have written of their experiences online describing screaming, combative behaviors, throwing things, pushing over carts, and ripping off their hospital gowns and attempting to run out of the hospital. I guess I was more in control than I thought! Other side effects include lingering dementia, headaches, and nausea, with some outcomes: death. Nice.

If they had allowed me to go without any sedative and if they hadn't soaked the bed, pillow, and gown with toxic chemicals that I was forced to smell for an hour, I probably would have had a relatively good experience. I didn't have any pain, no bleeding, no infection, no punctures, and I definitely didn't die. Is it any wonder people do die? And how many of them are chemically sensitive? Too bad these conventional doctors are so narrow-minded they don't understand chemical sensitivity and would rather adhere to their ignorance than make accommodations.

At one point the doctor said, "Well, this is only your first colonoscopy. The second will be much easier." Through my tears I said, "This is my LAST colonoscopy. I guarantee it."

Here's a really good video on what they do while they are digging around. I would have preferred having this guy as my doctor.

This video is what happens when you don't follow the prep directions. It's kind of funny although incredibly gross. I love the background music. Hilarious:

March for Our Lives

This protest had more signs than I've ever seen! I heard there were about 5,000 participants. We listened to speeches given by students and teachers, then marched down the main street to a park where there was music and non-profit booths.

Dirty Genes

I just read Ben Lynch's book Dirty Genes. He believes controlling the genetic expression of gene mutations (or SNPs, single nucleotide polymorphisms) is done with diet, stress management, adequate sleep, exercise, and avoiding toxic chemicals. He identifies seven genetic expressions that are either born dirty or act dirty and how each one contributes to a person's personality as well as their overall health. He doesn't think genetic testing is necessary as you can determine which genes are dirty by symptoms. Once you identify which genes are problematic, he describes the good and the bad characteristics for each in detail and tells you how to clean them up. Like laundry. LOL!

Although all the genes work together and interact cohesively, the one gene I found fascinating was the GST which is responsible for chemical detoxification. If this one is dirty, then the person is screwed...or...chemically sensitive. It manages your glutathione levels which control your detoxification levels. Did you know the overproduction of hydrogen peroxide in your body makes your hair go gray? Reverse the hydrogen peroxide levels, and your hair color will return. That was fascinating! And stay away from the herbicide Roundup. It screws with your estrogen levels and overproduction of estrogen creates all kinds of disease. Recently I learned overproduction of estrogen is thought to cause Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. It never surprises me how this is all interconnected. I enjoy getting new pieces of the puzzle.

It was amazingly informative. Some new facts and actions to take for my specific gene mutations include: don't eat leftovers as they create histamine, don't overeat as it negatively affects glutathione levels and methylation processes, avoid fermented foods which are another source of too much histamine, don't eat too much protein and eat only three meals a day, no small scattered meals or snacking. I love new information.

My favorite theory (mantra) is "NO PILLS FOR ILLS". He is all about avoiding supplements! So rare! But he believes if one must take supplements to support a condition, it's important to know when to stop or when they are no longer needed. Supplements are drugs. Taking them too long creates more health issues. He's all about healing with diet and lifestyle. Love it!

Excellent book. Highly recommend it.

Yes, I stole this image off the internet,  from Amazon.com specifically.
I figure I'm promoting the book so all is good.
If not, then let me know and I'll
remove it.

National School Walkout March 14th

A National School Walkout protesting lack of gun control and school safety was organized for March 14th. The reception was very interesting with some schools supporting it, some condemning it, and others trying to ignore it. I called the local high school in Rathole to get information. Some claimed they knew nothing about it. Some claimed the students knew nothing about it. It's always so surprising to me how isolated Ratholians think they are from the world.

I visualized the one, two, or three kids who would know about this event and who cared enough to take it upon themselves to walkout. I felt someone should meet them outside, support their desire to be involved, and to show them they are not alone.

I contacted the local "resistance group" in hopes of support. Members told me they thought people outside the school shouldn't get involved and if I wanted to support these students I should wear orange. AND YOU CALL YOURSELF A RESISTANCE GROUP? More like a senior citizens social. What a disappointment!

I felt like I failed the students of my area, but I didn't see the point in me, one person, standing outside a school like an idiot hoping one, two or three students would walk out. Then what? We all stand around looking at each other? I should have had more of a backbone, but instead of stressing myself out over the mindset of this horrible place where I've lived for the last thirteen years, knowing I can't fight the narrow-minded ignorance, I decided to accept and forget their backwards thinking. I headed to hippie land where I know people are politically savvy and passionate about ideas.

Even though I was pretty sure this town's high schools would walkout, finding information was nearly impossible. Finally I found a little online notice and emailed the contact name. I guessed this was a high school student who was attempting to organize, but when I asked her about the plan for off-campus adults, where do we go, can we bring signs, what is happening she said, "I'll have to check our student handbook on the rules." HAHAHAHAHA! I emailed back and assured her there were no guidelines on student protests or walkouts other than, "Don't you dare!" It was kind of sweet, if it wasn't so frustrating.

So on the morning of March 14th, with my friend and her two sons in tow, I headed to the nearby progressive town not knowing what to expect but hoping to support any students who might walkout of the their high school. I was reassured to see adults milling about. One approached us, asked if we were there to support the student walkout, and gave us the option of signing in at the front office for full access or standing on the sidewalk behind the property line of the school. We opted to stand behind the line.

There were about ten parent volunteers "guarding" the perimeter of the campus, one television/radio camera man, and a handful of adults from the community. As we watched the school clock hanging over the front entrance, adults gathered from every direction. Car horns honked and gave us thumbs up.

At 9:55am the bell rang and students flooded out the doors! My estimate was probably 400-500 students out of 1200 students. It was quite exciting!

We cheered and waved our signs. They had a sound system and students gave speeches, listed the latest school shooting victims, called out the senators who are taking copious amounts of money from the NRA for campaign support, and demanded change. Seventeen minutes later it was over. Most students went back into the school while a handful walked or drove to the local government building to continue the protest. Kudos to the high schools who instead of trying to control the protest, allowed a platform to address these concerns. Shame on the schools who threatened suspension to any student who attempted to walkout.

Later I read there were single students all over the country who walked out of their schools to be met by no one. That made me sad and I regretted I didn't make the hard choice to be there for the students of Rathole. Even for one student I should have been there cheering for their courage and passion to stand for something. Damn.

The American Dream

My new patriotic parasol:

The People B4 Politics Parasol

I'm gearing up for the March for Our Lives walk for gun control and safety on March 24th. This is my new "People B4 Politics Parasol". I'm trying to create umbrellas with themes as I select various quotes and sayings. This one started out with my favorite "No Child Is Worth All the Guns on Earth" then I added various quips about other people issues. This umbrella is about respect and caring humans over politics and profits with a strong love theme.

I'm having so much fun. At the same time I feel like a fraud sometimes when I, myself, am often hating on certain groups of people...like bad dog owners or unenlightened stinkers. I have a problem with people making my life miserable.

February Movie Reviews

*****  Exceptional

****    Great

***      OK

**        So So

*          Blah

Blue Jay is about two high school sweethearts, Amanda and Jim, who run into each other twenty-four years later when they are both visiting their hometown. They go for coffee at the Blue Jay then spend the afternoon and all night reminiscing about the old days. Filmed beautifully in black and white with gorgeous photography and framing . It was very heartwarming and touching, but what made this movie so great was the outstanding performances. Two actors, that's it. No frills. Really, really outstanding performances. ****

The Brand New Testament  Oh my God this was BRILLIANT! It's a Belgian movie with English subtitles about a little girl who lives in her family's apartment with her mother...and father...who is God. She narrates the story describing the control God has not only over his own family, but the enjoyment he gets tormenting humans. Her older brother, JC, escaped God's reach, but got himself killed. She gets fed up with her father's tyrannical, abusive, petty behavior and decides to escape, find herself some new apostles, and re-write the New Testament, but before she leaves she wants to destroy her father's power over humans. She releases every one's death date via their mobile devices. It's amazingly creative and the writing is superb. My first thought was this is the most perfect movie ever made, but then it got a little weird and stupid with Catherine Deneuve's love interest. The character of God is outstanding. Yolande Moreau is my new favorite actress and the sensitivity of her interpretations are really exquisite. Her face is so expressive. She was also in the movie Seraphine from last month. Every one of her scenes are brilliant especially the one where she is playing records and singing along. Totally brilliant. *****

Chappie is about a law enforcement robot with consciousness. All-star cast with Dev Patel, Sigourney Weaver and Hugh Jackman. A little sci-fi for me and disturbing scenes of "child" abuse. ***

Dreamer is about a race horse trainer (Kurt Russell) and his daughter (Dakota Fanning). When one of the race horses he was training takes a tumble and is injured, instead of shooting her, he talks his boss into giving him the horse instead of his wages. They nurture the horse back to health. Feel good, sweet movie. Beautiful scenery and horses. Great music. ***

Emptying the Skies is based on Jonathan Franzen's The New Yorker expose on the poaching of millions of migratory songbirds in Europe and the anti-poaching volunteers that investigate, find and destroy traps, and release the birds (if possible). So cruel and sad. The birds are snared in torturous, painful ways. It's hard to believe these tiny little birds are eaten as a delicacy. First, they are served with their heads still attached. Eeeeww. Who would want to eat that? And they are so tiny it's hard to imagine there is anything there to eat. ****

Foxcatcher was about an Olympic wrestler, Mark Schulz (Tatum Channing), who is sponsored by the rich yet twisted John du Pont (Steve Carrell) and the relationship he has with this pseudo father figure that challenges the relationship he has with his older brother, Dave (Mark Ruffalo), who is also an Olympic wrestler. I don't like wrestling, not fond of brooding, moody wrestlers, nor the politics involved in professional competition, but Steve Carrell's performance as that entitled yet seriously damaged lunatic was really spellbinding. I always think of Carrell as a comedian, but he really excels at drama. **

Gia  Angelina Jolie stars as Gia Maria Carangi considered the first "supermodel" during the 1970s. She is one of the first well-known deaths due to AIDS. What a waste.  ***

Lady MacBeth is about a nineteenth-century English woman in an abusive marriage. Her husband is horrid and her father-in-law just as bad. She's not allowed to go outside and is made to stand nude while her husband masturbates. The men leave and she begins a torrid affair with the stable boy.  So they can be together she begins murdering people. At first you want to cheer for her - the men deserve it, but then she takes it a bit too far. Excellent performances, sets, costumes. ***

Lore  This was really interesting. Most movies about post-WWII history are about Jewish survivors. This one was about a Nazi German family living in opulence until the day their high-ranking military father comes home, announces the war is over (not in a good way), and instructs them to burn all their Nazi propaganda and run like hell. The Americans are coming! The parents are forced to turn themselves in leaving their five Hitler Youth children on their own. Lore, is about sixteen, left to care for her sister Liesel,  twin eight-year old brothers Jurgen and Gunter, and a baby brother, Peter.  The story follows their trek across Germany to their grandmother's house through various military zones, refugee camps filled with homeless people, abandoned farms with dead Germans who've committed suicide or were raped and killed, and German country people who are all crying because Hitler is dead and claim the photos of dead Jews are fake news. The kids are filthy and starving and end up traveling with a man who has Jewish identity papers which gives them security clearance they wouldn't normally get. Lore expresses her disgust toward the Jewish man several times alternating with taking his hand and putting it up her dress. (She's confused...wartime does that to a girl.) He sticks with them anyway, helping them get food, protecting them from soldiers, killing for them, but there is some indication having the baby gives them (him) special privileges, too. It's advantageous to tell authorities he is their older brother. I kept wondering why a Jewish man would have blue eyes, but then near the end of the movie we find out he stole those Jewish papers off a dead concentration camp prisoner. I don't know if I've ever seen a WWII movie from the German perspective. It was very thought provoking and emotionally challenging, twisting the viewer between disgust and hate for the Nazis and their brain dead followers and empathy for the German children who through no fault of their own were in a very bad situation...even when they were singing Hitler songs or Heil Hitlering people.  German movie with English subtitles. ****

Mi Madre is an Italian film with English subtitles about a film director whose mother is in the hospital dying. The performances were good, lots of Italians screaming all the time, the sequencing with flashbacks were confusing, but more importantly, I wasn't sure of the point. She was conflicted with accepting her mother's impending death and the need to finish her current film, but I just didn't see the point of the movie. No great lesson to learn, no grand turmoil to overcome, a little human relationship drama but not enough to support a movie. A couple times I almost turned it off...because I didn't see the point. No point. *

Mother was one long very bad anxiety dream where everything is going wrong and you've lost all control. I wanted closure and explanation. I waited thinking maybe the main character (Jennifer Lawrence) would wake up and it was a nightmare. Or maybe it was a senseless horror movie. What I did find out later is it's some weird interpretation of the Old Testament. OK, I see some of the symbolism, but they seem very unclear so not seeing the point. It just feels confusing. Lawrence's performance was wonderful, if not incredibly irritating at the beginning with all her patriarchal compliance that made me scream out loud.  Great special effects, but the whole thing was one long weird nightmare. **

Our Kind of Traitor was about a British college professor (Ewan McGregor) who is befriended by a Russian Mafia money launderer who plans to escape from the mob. He talks McGregor into contacting the British intelligence with information to trade in hopes of saving his family from execution.  It was fine. I'm not keen on political conspiracy movies and I hate stupid titles that make it sound like some kind of comedy. I didn't find it very realistic. When they skip realism for entertainment, it only irritates me. **

Pride is the true story about the British miners' strike in the 1980s and the founding of the London Lesbians and Gays Support  for Miners who rallied and raised money to support the strikers in a little Welsh town. After being persecuted for so long by the government, media and society in general, the gays decided solidarity between all oppressed groups is the path to change and their alliance is born. But the miners don't want their support as they feel they won't be taken seriously if backed by gay people, and of course, the gays are apprehensive about giving it. Why should they support people who are the haters? Great comedy-drama about tolerance and acceptance. Excellent performances (Imelda Staunton, Bill Nighy, Dominic West). ****

Seasons is a French film about the20,000-year history of animals. It was pretty fascinating and I kept asking, How did they film THAT???  The photography is beautiful. Baby animals delightful, filming techniques fascinating. But then humans showed up, destroying the habitat, hunting the animals, and making a mess of everything. Near the end I almost turned it off because it was so disgusting. Very powerful message. ***

To Sir,  With Love I can't believe I had never seen this movie before! I stood there in the library looking at the DVD cover and I thought I was having a senior moment and I had forgotten it. I think I've seen so many scenes from it or maybe it was the theme song that sticks in your head for a lifetime that I thought I had seen it. It's about a man (Sidney Poiter) who gets a job as a teacher because he can't find a good job. He's stuck teaching juvenile delinquents who are rude and obnoxious and how he overcomes the challenges of getting them to learn something. I gave me flashbacks of my teaching days and reminders what a horrid job teaching was. Very 1960s featuring all the social issues of the day. Great dancing. ***

A Woman's Life is about the life of a woman in nineteenth century France. Her parents are wealthy with a sizable estate and manor. She marries a penniless, philandering piece of shit and when she catches him with her maid, she is bullied by her parents and the priest to forgive him. When she catches him again this time with her best friend she opts to suffer in silence as she knows it will destroy her best friend's very devoted husband. Unfortunately she confesses her hatred of the lies to the priest who lectures her relentlessly to make her feel ashamed and guilty for defying God's truth. Finally the priest impatient with this woman's compliance which he claims is a slap in the face to God, tells the man himself. As the woman expected, the best-friend's husband shoots the lovers and then himself leaving our heroine to pick up the pieces of her shattered and now shameful life. This was the only interesting part of the movie, well, until her adult son squanders the family wealth and she's left penniless living with her dead husband's mistress who was her maid. Aside from the soap operatic themes, it was a little boring although the spoken French was beautiful. **

OMG! The Perfect Doctor!

Every month I announce to my friend, "I think I have found a doctor!!" And every month I retract my claim and say, "False alarm. Another orange cone."  Most of these doctors I never write about. Sometimes they are nice, but incredibly stupid. Others seem knowledgeable, but arrogant pigs. Some try to bully me into feeling guilty for declining to be an experimental subject for their thoughtless guesswork. Most if not nearly all, unfortunately, just can't fathom I am intolerant of all manner of everything and can't stop hawking their pills. Incessantly! I find this disrespectful. I hate it when they don't listen to me. It drives me nuts when they cop an attitude of condescension and then get irate toward me because I won't comply with their demands. I resent it when they think MY appointment, the time I am BUYING, is actually about them and their ego. In the last four months since my ER visit, I have seen seven doctors. All of them expensive; none of them helpful. This shouldn't be a surprise, but it is very discouraging.

Today I saw my eighth doctor. I actually found her about six months ago before this intestinal nightmare began, but I misunderstood her advertising. She's heavy on "appearance rejuvenation" which I found confusing so I hesitated. Is she a cosmetic surgeon? I wasn't sure. Her marketing seems focused on beauty and if my body is in pain I don't give a rat's ass about appearance. Some of her information states she is most definitely a former-conventional doctor with a very tiny indication she's a functional medicine practitioner. In my constant search for a doctor, her link jumped up once again and I took another look at her website.

She offered a FREE CONSULTATION. Not just a 10 minute meet-greet-and-quickly-street, but 45 MINUTES! Free 45 minutes. What? No way. What is the catch?? I emailed her office manager/receptionist expecting to not hear anything for a day or two and low and behold she responds within the hour. YES...it's free. And it's 45 minutes long!!! Really? Right up to the moment I'm in her office I didn't trust this, but YES, a free first appointment!

While I waited in the sitting room I perused her books and there on the shelf sat all the books of Amy Myers I just read. Wow. Talk about a universal convergence. She had some products on the shelf so I read labels searching for fillers and additives I cannot tolerate, preparing myself for the inevitable rebuttal when this doctor tries to shove the pills down my throat. I came to my freebie appointment armed and dangerous! (I really resent I feel defensive before I've even met a doctor!)

No shoving happened. She was calm almost not friendly, neutral, but not arrogant or unfriendly either. This kind of kept me in check as I'd been feeling pretty hostile toward doctors. She asked about my history, looked over my labs, and told me a little about her philosophy. She talked about genetic mutations and inability of some to tolerate much of anything. She recognizes the challenges involved in treating someone who is so sensitive to everything. As she looked over my labs and information she wasn't judgmental exclaiming horror and disbelief as so many doctors have done. She name-dropped people well-known in the Hashimoto's community. She emphasized her philosophy is DIET FIRST because if you don't fix what you are ingesting, nothing else matters. She talked about her career as a conventional medicine doctor and how disgusted she was with the arrogance of the profession and the model's inability to help patients. And last but not least she explained she does the free first appointments because she wants to make sure the prospective patient is willing to make lifestyle and dietary changes. If not, she doesn't see the point and it's a waste of time for everyone. She expects people to tweak their diet, give up their cigarettes, alcohol, and/or junk food and if they can't she will tell them this won't work for them. Well, I'm already there so it's all go for me. At one point I got tears in my eyes and exclaimed, "You are speaking my language!" I think this is the first time I cried tears of joy at a doctor's office instead of tears of frustration and anger.

I have lots of hope.

UPDATE: Her appointments are very expensive ($245.00 for 15 minutes) and she doesn't do insurance. She requires loads of unnecessary testing whether I have symptoms or not, whether I've had the test done or not. ("Oh, I would prefer using YOUR money and MY lab of preferences. They still showed negative.) At one point she said, "I won't address your weight problem, yet." (Thankfully she had priorities, for now. MY COLON DOESN'T WORK! I DON'T CARE IF I'M FAT! Yes, her health care model is all about appearance.) Last but not least, she has her DOG come to work with her!! In a medical office? That was the last straw for me....

Too many orange cones pretending to be doctors....