Tater Tots!, or I Ate a Whole Cauliflower

Oh, how I miss tater tots! I used to buy a whole bag and eat them for a meal. For those of you who might not know what a tater tot is (horrors!), they are grated potatoes, spiced with chemicals, formed into little squarish rolls, deep-fried in saturated fats, and then frozen to last for eternity. Crispy on the outside, warm and toasty on the inside. Yum.

Or rather yuck. They haven't been on my diet for a long, long time. I guess they should be renamed "Toxic Tots."

My favorite Christmas card of all time was a cartoon of a tater tot with eyes. The inside read, "Tater tots with their eyes all a glow." HAHAHA It still makes me LOL!

Here is a recipe for something that resembles a tater tot:

Pepperoni Pizza Tots

Of course, I tweaked it just a little. It called for "Italian seasoning" which is some kind of processed mix and I used herbs. And garlic powder. I suppose garlic powder could be healthy, but I don't trust any pre-processed powder since so many use gluten as an anti-caking agent. I used real, grated garlic. The recipe said to use parchment paper on your baking sheet. First, I don't have parchment paper, but more importantly, why would anyone want to eat tater tots that haven't been fried in oil? I don't know if these would hold up to deep-frying, which I'd never do anyway, but I oiled the baking sheet with olive oil. The original recipe was created by Kelly Bejelly@A Girl Worth Saving.

Ingredients:

2 lb. cauliflower (one head), cut into florets
1/2 teaspoon each: oregano, marjoram, basil, thyme, cayenne, salt, pepper
1/2 teaspoon minced fresh garlic
1/3 cup coconut flour
2 large eggs
8 slices Applegate pepperoni, diced
olive oil

Boil cauliflower in a pot of water for four minutes. Remove, drain, cool completely.

Finely dice cauliflower. Don't food process it or it'll turn to puree and won't work for this recipe.

Add coconut flower, spices, and pepperoni to diced cauliflower. Mix.

Add eggs. Mix.

Scoop out large spoonful and shape tightly into oval. Place on baking sheet covered with olive oil.

Bake 350 degrees for 45-50 minutes. Eat.

Yum. I ate the whole pan! Yeah, this is another recipe that is far to good for anyone to remain in control.

I did worry about the pepperoni although the brand is very reputable. No reactions at all.