Pharmaceutical Fillers

Today I (finally) received the "Universal Claim Form for a Compounded Medication" for the DHEA prescription for my pharmaceutical insurance claim. Had I received this form when I purchased the drug (which is when I should have received it), I would have been horrified. Maybe this is why is wasn't given to me?  Unfortunately I didn't know to ask for it until later. Here is the recipe they used:

dehydroepiandrosterone micronized
base, gelatin
acesulfame potassium
acacia powder (gum arabic)
citric acid USP monohydrate powder
saccharin sodium USP
silica gel (micronized)
stevioside
xylitol (D)

I thought I was receiving the first two ingredients and that's all.

What the hell?

What is it about me that makes people ignore what I'm saying? I was in the pharmacy no less than six times making sure I understood my filler options so they clearly understood what I wanted. At the last minute the pharmacist didn't fill this prescription because she knew I was so sensitive she should ask what kind of base would be best. I made it really clear only DHEA and gelatin should be in each tablet. So how in the hell did all those other ingredients get dumped into the prescription?

I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL WINTER!

Office Heater!

I got heat!!!!

Heater boys came today to install cadet wall heaters in my house. They arrived right on time which is shocking and amazing. They were pleasant, personable, and patient as I asked them one hundred questions and reviewed every torment I've experienced in the last year as I was shopping for heat.

Both of them have ductless heat pump heaters in their homes and both almost talked me out of the cadet wall heaters as they spend most of their time REMOVING cadets so the people can replace them with ductless. Great. This is what I don't need at the last minute. So I asked the same questions I've asked many others for months: If ductless is so great, why don't they heat the whole house? Why is it my neighbor paid $5,000 and STILL has sheets hanging to close off the rooms so she can get one room warm enough for comfort. Their only explanation was that maybe some old houses don't have good insulation so the very expensive ductless can't heat the whole house. OK. But that's not good enough. If I pay $5,000, it damn well better heat the whole house and no one can guarantee it will. No one can guarantee the fungicides they use to control the mold won't make me ill. No one can guarantee the nitrogen gas they use to pump the ductless heat pump won't make me ill. No one can guarantee anything. And then there is the issue of heater guys not showing up or giving me astronomical quotes and insinuating I'm asking too many questions. These wall heaters seem to be my only option. My only safe option.



Living Room Heater!

Then I asked about the efficiency of these cadets. Well, they aren't as efficient as a ductless (and they aren't nearly as expensive) and my heating bills will be higher. OK. How high? He tried giving me a formula for cost but he couldn't remember it exactly. I'm imagining bills as high as $400 -500 a month. So I said, "My two neighbors use cadets and Eden Pure heaters and their monthly bill at the peak of winter is only $200." He says, "Oh, no, it won't be as high as $200." OK. Good enough for me. I'm sold.

Of course, they only have the cheaper models although I clearly said on numerous occasions I wanted the more expensive and hopefully more durable heaters like the ones I have upstairs. Damn. I wait a year to get some heat and now I'm going to cancel it all? I probably should have, but they said they install these a lot, no one complains and these are the latest models. What the hell. He looks at the ones I have upstairs and tells me they are the same wattage. My impatience always gets me in trouble and it all makes me tired which makes me compliant. He offered to install only one to see how I like it first, but in a flash I visualized these guys never coming back and me freezing my ass off and my pipes freezing. No. I've pondered and tormented myself for a year on this. I've read consumer reports and online comments. These heaters are fine. Just do it.


Kitchen Heater!

In addition to the living room heater, the office heater, and the kitchen heater, I also added a bathroom heater, new outlet, new light fixture and removed the old, ugly baseboard heater that's near the front door (the spiders use it for a hotel). Major electrical rehaul!

I feel so satisfied. Calm. Clean. Organized. Like everything is right in the world. All my major projects are done in the house. The creepy ducts, heat pump and furnace are gone. The register holes are covered and sealed. The closets are finished. It feels so right.

I have heat! Every now and then as I walk in and out of rooms, I turn one on even though it's the middle of summer. Jeez, it's hot right away so when I come in from the cold I can stand in front of it and warm up immediately. I think these will be great. If not, I guess I'll have to rethink the plan later on. For now I will swim in the goodness of it all.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR WINTER!!!! BRING ON THE FREEZE! I'LL BE SO WARM AND TOASTY IN DECEMBER!

 

 



This is what old-style construction looks like. This is what they used instead of sheetrock. Little 1 x 1/2 boards sealed together with what looks and feels (and cuts) like cement, but what was used as plaster. The electrician had to cut through two of these to get through a wall. Very interesting. This proves my house is damn near indestructible!

DAY SEVEN!!!

As I've mentioned before, I have about a 2-4 day maximum load threshold with drugs, herbs or any supplements. Multi-vitamin pills make me ill on day two. Herbs usually day four. Some supplements make me mental while others make my body hurt.

I began my thyroid hormone replacement therapy with much hope and some trepidation. The DHEA was a short-lived experience so I wasn't even sure if my adrenals got a jump-start. Will this type of thyroid fail like all the others? When I say "fail" I don't mean will they not do what they should, I mean can I even tolerate them long enough to allow them to work? I've done everything possible to select the most natural, tolerable form possible: low-dose USP Thyroid from a pig, gelatin capsules, and rice flour filler. On the Dr. Kharazzian diet I'm not supposed to eat pork or rice. I wasn't associating these pills with food. Next time I'll opt for bovine (cow) thyroid and coconut flour filler. Sounds like the latest gourmet recipe...Yatna's Coconut Beef Goulash.

I'm also taking them first thing in the morning on an empty stomach as directed, but with twice as much water as recommended. I'm doing everything possible to be successful. I'm tired of being tired all the time.

Day one came and went, although I did feel slightly more energetic. Was it just wishful thinking? I think most drug effects are mental, or the placebo effect. We are so desperate for something to work, we imagine it. I need this to work.

On day two, three hours after taking the pill I felt a tinge of nausea...so I drank more water and ate more food and it went away. Some days my neck slightly hurts which is a common chemical exposure reaction for me, and other days I've experienced very slight itching of the back, another common reaction to something foreign. Most days I'm feeling more energetic to the point where I want something to do, but this new motivation is so strange I don't know what to do with myself. My muscles still feel weak and sore with late afternoon moments of slight fatigue, but it could be a physical reaction to new energy levels or when the pills are wearing off.

I know medications take time and I don't expect this very low dosage to create much of a difference. I even read minor nausea might go away after a week or two of adjustment as long as the nausea is tolerable. Adjustment is the key to making this work as I read not to get too impatient and raise the dosage to quickly. Slowly ease into it and give the body a chance to assimilate the drug and figure out what to do with it.

It's now day seven, three days past day four, and these pills are tolerable!!! For me this is a MEDICAL MIRACLE!!!

HOORAY!
(So far...)

 

DHEA

Stress due to lifestyle, mental or physical exhaustion, body inflammation, or disease contributes to an excessive production of cortisol which can not only deplete your reserves of cortisol, but also deplete your levels of DHEA. Low DHEA contributes to decreases in energy, fatigue, memory loss, libido loss, aching joints, bone density loss, muscle mass loss, lower immunity, and subsequent heart disease. Low cortisol and DHEA contributes to adrenal fatigue which affects thyroid function and thyroid function affects adrenal function.

I've done the Adrenal Stress Index test and the lab results confirm on a scale of 1 to 7, with one being the highest, my DHEA-cortisol correlation spectrum is at a 5, or "low reserves". Eliminating stress from your life allows the body to heal and DHEA reserves are able to increase back to normal. Unfortunately, I've done as much as I can figure out to eliminate inflammation and I have no idea how to reduce the adrenaline rushes I get with menopausal hot flashes other than hormone replacement drugs. I'm sure these oddities contribute to my low DHEA levels.

Dr. Kharazzian suggests taking DHEA to jump-start the adrenals prior to thyroid supplementation and since I'm constantly tired, I figured it couldn't hurt. He says don't take it for more than a month and other physicians have instructed no more than a 5 mg dosage. When requesting it from my new naturopath, I saw a micro-expression of surprise in her eyes and her body jumped a little. Considering she doesn't have much of a personality, I took this to be a show of horror. She very quietly said without much explanation she doesn't prescribe DHEA and it was not advisable. I have read overdosing on DHEA is common due to its accumulation in fat cells, but that's all I knew. Well, I also knew how sensitive I am to everything so the lowest dosage possible was my personal recommendation. I knew enough about the warnings to convince her I wasn't planning on abusing it so she changed her mind and prescribed exactly what I wanted: sublingual one mg. for one month.

The benefits of DHEA make it sound like some kind of miracle drug: energy, stamina and strength, increase in libido, weight loss, reduction in menopausal symptoms, increase in confidence and assertion, reverses bone loss, reverses asthma, reverses depression, and beneficial to those suffering from Crohn's Disease and lupus. According to all the propaganda, if you are going to take a drug, this sounds like the one to choose!

But what are the side effects of DHEA? Since I've now thrown all caution to the wind and have become a drug addict, I was curious what overdosing looks like.  There are plenty of websites, articles, and comments online that list the side effects. Many warn others not to even start taking DHEA and some even claim it'll ruin your life. Side effects include:

hormonal imbalance
hair loss
blood pressure increase
liver damage
heart arrhythmia or palpitations
glaucoma
perspiration odor
acne
breast swelling
facial hair (women)
erectile dysfunction (men)
insomnia
restlessness
irritability
aggression
severe personality changes

It's also addictive. Don't stop taking DHEA cold turkey or you may experience withdrawal symptoms like back pain, moodiness, sleeplessness, fatigue, body pain, weakness, and hot flashes. Since all these symptoms sound like me without DHEA, I had high hopes taking it might alleviate some of my constant discomfort.

I found this website very interesting:  http://www.raysahelian.com/dhea.html

It looks as if Mr. Sahelian is promoting DHEA supplementation, but he also includes information from those who have taken DHEA and experienced the side effects. Many warn others never to start taking DHEA because the side effects don't always subside immediately after cessation and it may take months before feeling normal again. I think most of the issue is with high doses over 10 mg and taking it for long periods of time or more than a month. Some admit to taking it for up to a year which is a common prescription for those suffering from depression.

I received the sublingual form which goes under the tongue with directions to take it on an empty stomach. It is also important to wait to eat or drink anything for 30 minutes to an hour. Do not swallow at all until it's dissolved. However, if one must swallow due to a large accumulation of saliva, limit swallowing to once or twice. I always have lots of saliva so I knew this would be a problem. The tablets are large so the dissolving also creates liquid and because of this it's hard to keep them in place.

The first and second day I avoided swallowing and spit once the tablet was dissolved. The third day I thought about how much drug I might be wasting and wouldn't it be more effective if I swallowed the one time and whatever didn't dissolve under my tongue would then be digested? That's me overthinking ways to make this work, of course. That was a mistake. Five hours later I became sick to my stomach and it lasted all day. The tablets are sweet so I wasn't quite sure if it was a synthetic sweetener the pharmacist may have added to improve taste or the DHEA. Probably the DHEA. I also read for people who are digesting the pill form, to take them with high-fat food to alleviate any digestive problems. Granted, no matter what kind of drug, herb or supplement I try, the third or fourth day is when I start feeling the side effects. I've been told it's because my body doesn't detox and that's the overload or accumulation point.

So day four I felt very hopeful and I went back to dissolving under the tongue and no swallowing at all. I was convinced that this was the answer and if I could just keep taking the drugs, I would again, be on the road toward better health.

Nope. About five hours later the queasy sick feeling started again. It didn't seem to be as bad as the day before, but bad enough to make me want to curl up in bed and stay there for the rest of the day. On top of the constant fatigue, nausea is a real waste of time. I'm not sure what to do about being so susceptible to side effects as I've been liver cleansing all week which is where much anything would accumulate and I'm not sure if I'm not swallowing the DHEA, why does it affect my digestive system?

However, the purpose behind taking the DHEA was to jump-start the adrenals so the thyroid medication would be most effective. It's really all about the thyroid medication.

On to the thyroid drugs! Crossing my fingers.

Done...Done...and...Done

I am the summer project maniac! I love getting things done and it's so much easier when people respond to your desperate pleas for help.

I visited the heating company yesterday and asked if they could come out dismantle and drain my furnace and heat pump. OK, I begged really nicely. When I told my construction adviser I was going to remove it myself he cautioned about the Freon or refrigerator coolant. I was worried about the electrical stuff as it is way more complex than anything I've ever encountered. Pipes and tubes and attachments. I had no idea what I was looking at nor what to do with it.

The young woman at the heating company began taking my name and information. I whispered to her, "Do you think they'll show up this time?" I continued to explain this was my fifth visit to their office not including the desperate call I made last December when my house froze along with my water pipes. She GUARANTEED she would personally email me and try to get someone to my house next week. When I left I was hopeful, but not confident.

This morning after I took a drive to get groceries I came home to an email message, "Our technician went to your house this morning, but said no one was home."

OH! NO!!! NO! NO! I went to the store because I didn't think they would come until next week! Oh, god, come back!!

He did come back and proceeded to pump the Freon out of my heat pump. He also explained people who remove refrigerator coolant and inadvertently or purposefully dump it on the ground or in the environment or don't do it properly and use safety precautions are fined $10,000. Refrigerator coolant (Freon) is one of those things clearly recognized as seriously toxic to the environment as it depletes the ozone layer. Besides the fact it'll poison you. He also told me the coolant if not handled properly is 40 degrees below freezing so if I had messed up and got it on my skin, it might have burned parts of my body off. Great. People keep encouraging to do things myself. Oh, it's so easy. You don't have to be smart to work on a house. I appreciate the votes of confidence, but it's not very realistic especially since most of my advisers must understand I know very little about houses. I'm so glad I didn't do it myself.

The heater guy said something was wrong with the heat pump as it was missing half of the coolant. That could be why my electric bills were so high the last time I used it and now I'm really glad it's on its way off my property.

Furnace and heat pump waiting patiently to be taken away.

The junk man removed the appliances for free. He will recycle and sell the metal and copper parts.

I shouldn't post this next photo because it's so gross, but I will for some sadistic entertainment:

 

Furry dead rat bodies stuck to the top of the furnace. I'm sure they had a nest and sleeping there in the winter must have been very warm. So gross. So glad the furnace is now gone.

When I went back to the heating office to thank the young woman she told me about hearing the rats under her house. Her furnace is also not being used and the duct work is still there. She hears them running along it and it creeps her out. I told her I totally understand. It's gross and scary, but so common here. Good riddance heating ducts and furnace system!!

I worry about what kind of infectious bacterial germs I've exposed myself to whether I touched them or breathed them in. For instance, I took yesterday's photos before I took off my gloves and mask. Did germs get on my camera? I wiped it down with hydrogen peroxide, but is that good enough? I walked with my boots on the porch and when I switched to my sandals did germs get on my bare feet and have I tracked them into the house? What about all my tools? I wiped them down also, but did I miss a spot? Will I unknowingly touch something with bacterial germs from dead rats and then eat an apple? This is so gross. Who would have known I'd ever find myself rolling around in dead rat bodies, opossum and rat shit? This is not the life I planned for myself....

When we were little to get us to work my dad used to always say how there are always rewards for people who work, namely, finding treasures. If we cleaned the basement, we might find a penny or dime and my dad would say, "See! What did I tell you?"  If we helped clean the garage, we might find a marble or lost toy. Many years later I now find garden treasures and I still think, "Dad was so right!" Today a baby spoon fell out of a furnace part.

 

 

Of course, I imagine some rat liked the smell of old baby food on it, grabbed it, and drug into the furnace under the house for fun. Then licked it clean. After picking it up with gloves on, I washed it repeatedly in soap and hot water then sterilized it again by soaking it in hydrogen peroxide. (Did I get all the germs washed out of the sink or did some splash out onto my newly washed dishes nearby? UGH! I think I'll have nightmares tonight!) I'll sell it in my next yard sale...

Anyway...another project DONE!

On to the next or maybe a part of the whole project. I removed the metal hardware for the heat registers and using plywood sealed off the holes. This involved laying on my back [on top of the rat shit and mold, etc.] with my head against the insulation and spider webs [imagining spiders crawling down my back] trying to drill screws into the plywood above me using my non-existent stomach muscles for leverage and for support. Not a pretty sight. I got three done before I collapsed in agony. I really should do more sit-ups. Four more registers to go which I'll tackle in a couple days once I recover. I also need to figure out what to do with the open spaces that are above where the furnace was, but I think I'll need to find someone who knows how do the construction to close it off and add insulation. (Wishful thinking. I'll probably end up trying to do it myself....)

Almost DONE.

Next project: laundry room shelf.  I had two small, short shelves for years so I decided to combine those into a top shelf and add one below. I've wanted a second shelf for a long, long time. I had to buy a $15 board, prime and paint it. I love being organized. Such a small job that waited for so long but so satisfying to finally get it done.

 

 

DONE!

 

 

Next project: fix fence. This has been a small, but ongoing project, but I have postponed upkeep for a couple years. The fence is about 25 years old and in human years it's probably about 125. I am hoping it lasts another five years, but that is wishful thinking. Now that Peter isn't here to be a flight risk, the fence is not that important, but I love my privacy. Until its total replacement which is something I DO NOT want to do, I keep it in working order by adding screws to loose pieces, wood sealer treatment, replace damaged wood and try to keep it upright. I replaced five rungs and then found a loose post that needed replacing. Hopefully that will hold it through the winter storms.

 

 

 

DONE.

 

Then I contacted the local electrician and made an appointment to install the heaters in two weeks! I decided the electrical work is too intricate for me as I think a qualified electrician will know how to use the furnace/heat pump wiring. I don't want my house to burn down because of my electrical ignorance. My plan is to get cadet heaters. No toxic refrigerator coolant, nitrogen gas, ozone issues, mold issues, no fiberglass, and less expense. Little cadet heaters in each room to control individual room heat seem like such a better, safer and sensible solution. The young woman at the heating company pointed to the $5,000 ductless heat pump and said, "Have you considered one of those?" I said, "Oh yeah! Last year I was considering one of those and if someone from this heating company would have responded to my begging for help, I would have bought one. Too late. I'm going another route." One doesn't need a heating company for cadet heaters as I can just hire the local electrician who responded to my request for a quote immediately. When I saw him today he gave me a big smile and said, "Are you ready for your heaters?" I was really surprised and impressed he remembered me!

 

Almost DONE. (I'm not doing it so it's good as done!)

 



I feel so productive! Getting rid of the furnace is a HUGE load off my shoulders. You can't imagine how happy it makes me.

Drugs

It's that time of the year where I get the courage to go to a new doctor and try something new for the fatigue, muscle weakness, muscle pain, and all-encompassing feeling of blah. The diet has helped a lot and I think that is the reason I'm rarely totally exhausted now, but it's not quite enough. I want to be able to function better and not feel so...blah...all the time.


I've been reading a lot on thyroid hormone prescriptions lately, but I'm definitely not an expert on this information. Here are the basics: There are two categories: natural and synthetic. The natural sources are dessicated thyroid or thyroid extract and the source is from porcine or bovine thyroid. Yep, real thyroid from pigs or cows. The brand names are Armour, Naturethroid, and Westhroid. Because they are from natural sources, they have natural levels of both T3 and T4 and seemed to be well-tolerated by many.


The other category is synthetic or derived from laboratory-produced chemicals. Levothyroxine is the most commonly used and well-tolerated by most. Brand names include Synthroid, Levoxyl, Liothyronine, and Levothroid. These are often just T3 as it is expected the patient will convert the T3 to T4, but based on my recent readings not everyone is capable of this conversion and some are even sensitive to T3 which can cause problems.


In the past I've tried Armour dessicated thyroid and various forms of levothryoxine. I've not tolerated any thyroid replacement hormone well. Armour made me nauseous for six straight weeks, sustained -released levothyroxine kept me away all night and made me nauseous all day long, and non-sustained-released levothyroxine made me so ill and in pain I almost took myself to the hospital. Through all the discomfort I continued hoping it would improve my energy level and fatigue, but nothing did. These prescriptions are very expensive so each failure is incredibly frustrating and financial discouraging.


According to Dr. Datis Kharazzian who saved my life with his dietary protocol and book Why Do I Still Have Thyroid Symptoms When My Lab Tests Are Normal, intolerance is often caused by the fillers used in these pills. I attempted to correct this by using compounded pharmaceuticals so I could control what goes into each pill. Still, adding something like a time-released feature takes an extra chemical and the pills must have some kind of filler. This came as a surprise to me. You can't just put the drug in the capsule without a filler? No. I'm learning.

Unfortunately I wasn't told this until after I received pills filled with Avicel, a filler that made me feel like I was painfully digesting shards of glass. I know it was the filler because I replace the sustained-released pill with this one and I assumed they would have the same ingredients minus the time-releasing chemical. Nope, someone thought they needed to add an unknown filler without consulting me first. When I called the pharmacy and asked why I was so sick, I found out I should have had a choice of fillers. You can't imagine how irritated I was to throw a $100 bottle of pills away. So...what is Avicel? Wood pulp. It sounds fairly harmless. Another pharmacist told me problems with Avicel are rare unless I have an allergy to pine. Well, there you have it. My whole family is allergic to pine so it stands to reason I would be as well. Also, I always hear about how rare side effects are and I can state with absolute certainty if there is a "rare" side effect of any kind, I will have it. I'm just that sensitive.

Recently I read not only should you watch for fillers, but prior to thyroid therapy, one needs to make sure their adrenals are working properly to allow the thyroid medication to be effective. I tried licorice root, but it didn't seem to make a difference. Astragalus, another herb, is also used for this but according to Dr. Kharazzian, if you are TH1 dominant, this will worsen an autoimmune condition. Based on information, I thought I was TH2 dominate which is common with chemically sensitive people. Astragalus made me crash with exhaustion.

DHEA is another method to support adrenal function. You can buy DHEA supplements over the counter, but they are often high dosages and filled with additives and fillers. My new doctor said she avoids prescribing DHEA because it stores to toxic levels very quickly. Dr. Kharazzian suggests sublingual DHEA as it is less likely to store as quickly and is more effective. He suggests not to ever take it for longer than four weeks. It's only to jump-start the adrenals and once you feel a difference, stop taking it or your adrenals will shut down and stop working on their own. I found this to be interesting since so many of my friends take it continuously as an adrenal booster. The sources for DHEA are synthetic (chemical), wild yam or soy. My new pharmacist says the company uses yam. Perfect. I don't want chemicals or soy.

In addition, it is advised to do a liver cleanse before starting these drugs and this will help avoid any side effects and assist in the effectiveness of the drug. There are many herbal remedies that will detox your liver, but I like avoiding drugs when possible especially since I react to so many. Instead I started drinking beet juice and eating beets.

The reluctant patient

My new naturopath doesn't seem to be very knowledgeable and as a friend recently said, that is the concern with naturopaths or any doctor: will they know more about my condition than I already do? Not usually. But I need them to be receptive to my requests and at least respectful to my knowledge. Even this is difficult as most doctors want to be put on a pedestal and worshipped for their expensive advice. They often treat patients as stupid subordinates who are expected to nod politely, not talk too much, and be very compliant. Too much power play which for me ends up to be a waste of money and a personality conflict. This new doctor, however, was receptive. I told her exactly what I wanted, but left it open to her advice. In the end her "plan" for me was to eat vegetables at every meal and at least one fruit a day. Really? Was she not listening to me when I went into great detail about my diet? I pretty much kindly, but assertively bullied her into some prescriptions. She also suggested astragalus tea and I decided to try it since it only cost $1.50, but it didn't go well. I know I don't do well with herbs. I should have known better.

She was hesitant about DHEA, but I think my own concerns about its toxicity and proper usage must have given her some confidence. She agreed to prescribe a very low dosage (1 mg), for a short time (30 days), sublingual form, just to jump-start the adrenals. I interrogated the pharmacist so much that when it came time to make the sublingual tablets she waited to ask me about which kind of filler to use. (THANK YOU!) My choice was gelatin (horse hooves) or ethyl alcohol. I started to laugh when she said ethyl alcohol. Really? After all the questions I asked about chemicals, fillers and toxicity why would anyone think I would choose ethyl alcohol?  I'm so glad she gave me a choice. I'm not excited about gelatin, but it is gluten-free and might even strengthen my fingernails. She also said they add a flavor. Hmmm...nope. I don't want a flavor. She said she didn't know if DHEA would be bitter, but I decided to chance it. The tablets are weird:

Little squares of colorless, wiggly JELLO. Put one under your tongue on an empty stomach and no swallowing until it dissolves. I was surprised they tasted sweet so I wonder if someone added something to it or if the gelatin comes sweetened. This is the issue. They can add anything without your knowledge. I don't even want to think about what is in the over the counter form. Thirty sublingual tablets were $50.

I also received a prescription for dessicated (pig) thyroid (Thyroid USP) which is much like the old Armour Thyroid that was re-formulated a few years back. My previous experience with natural thyroid was the stuff loaded with unknown fillers which may have caused the nausea. I asked about the fillers in advance and they gave me a list of types (this is when I found out about Avicel being pine-based) and then off hand it was mentioned they could use rice flour. Rice flour!? Although the thought of raw flour stuck to my stomach like glue wasn't appealing, I know I can tolerate rice flour. I'd have to buy a bag of rice flour myself and bring it in. I'm not sure why they don't have their own supply. I forgot to ask if I could use coconut flour as rice isn't on my diet, and later I was told it would depend on the texture so I'll try that next.


I think the capsules are gelatin and I wasn't given a choice. This is another question I failed to ask and I've found only with experience does one know WHICH questions to ask. I'm learning. Previous pharmacies have used tiny capsules that are about the third of the size of normal ones, but I received normal size which seems to be an excessive amount of rice flour. There is often a vegetarian or vegetable capsule, but again, I wasn't offered a choice. I requested an extremely low dosage of thyroid (30 mg.) to avoid shocking my system and I'll work up to find a suitable level. The doctor called it into the pharmacy, unfortunately, as I really wanted to double check what they were doing before they did it. I didn't really want to pay for a 90 day supply in case after my normal four days they made me ill, but they were already formulated by the time I went in. Ninety capsules cost $95. OUCH. But this is how the compounding pharmacy works. If I only received, for instance, 14 capsules they would have cost me around $70 due to the effort it takes to create the pills individually by hand.

So...

First step: liver cleanse with beet juice
Second step: jump-start my adrenals with DHEA
Third step: thyroid replacement therapy

I am ready for another pharmaceutical adventure, or, hmmm, experiment. At this point I feel like I've done everything in my power to be successful. Wish me luck!

Descent into [My Personal] Hell

It's really difficult to summon the courage to crawl under the house when looking at the hole:

 

 

At least someone thought to wire lights down there which helps, but not a lot.

 

 

What you can't see is the smell and it seems to smell worse this year. Like dead, mildew-ish air. Rotting things. I know it was stuffy last year, but I don't remember it smelling this bad. Maybe this is from plugging up all the holes? Although there are still ventilation openings all around the crawlspace, it definitely doesn't get as much air flow as before. Hmmmm....

I donned my homemade bio-hazard suit and ventured forth with my bucket of tools crawling through spider webs, over rat shit while fighting with fiberglass insulation. Detaching the ducts wasn't easy. Whoever attached them did a great job so I needed a variety of tools to cut through wire, remove nails and splice tape.

In the end I removed a lot of duct work and insulation:

I took it all to the dump.

I had hoped to remove the furnace, too, but I didn't have a clue where to start and I worried about how heavy it was or the elaborate electrical system. Then someone warned me about the Freon they use to pump the heat and how I will need to drain it first because if it's left under the house it could offgas and become very toxic. Oh great. So now I need to figure out how to find and hire someone qualified to remove it and quickly before the rats figure out I left all those holes in the furnace and decide to crawl up into my walls. I also still need to figure out how to move the metal parts under the registers and patch up the holes in the floor.

Welcome to my personal hell...this is not fun.

One Down, Four to Go, and Counting

It feels good to finally get my closet remodel done, but now on to more important projects including re-roofing the shed, having a yard sale, repair fence, maybe building a cement step, and the most important: removing my old heating system and adding the new one before fall. I plan to do this next so I won't put it off until it's too late and too cold.

First, procrastinate. How I dread having to get under the house and wrangle fiberglass ducts and furnace parts. Besides the rats and opossum shit, dust, giant spiders, mold and anything else I really don't want to crawl around through. I haven't had a whole lot of energy lately either, so I'm waiting until I'm motivated with some extra time to spare.

So instead I cleaned out the "back 40", not acres, but footage along the back fence of the backyard. It was overgrown with weeds and getting pretty ugly. I've wanted to trim the overgrown camellia bush into a tree for years, but that's where Peter used to live so I didn't want to destroy his safe place and eliminate what was one of his few dark, quiet, private hideaways. Unfortunately I didn't take any before photos of the ugliness before I dug it all out, weeded, trimmed, and cleaned. I took three wheelbarrows of garden scraps out and one whole van load of tree branch trimmings. I also trimmed the yew to the far right as well as the cherry on the other side of the yard, and the contorted filbert in the middle of the yard (not seen). Then I headed to the hardware store and bought a load of cedar bark and a load of pea gravel.

It now looks much nicer:

See the little green plant at the bottom center of the photo with the rocks around it? That's what's left of my award-winning Citrus Mint. I had a whole garden filled with it. I think the weeds took over and killed it and the bottom branches of the camellia hung over it. I didn't think anything could kill mint. I'm trying to save it. Those little, bright green plants all over the gravel are rogue feverfew. That little garden bed to the right was where the feverfew grew but I trimmed it too much (I think) and it never came back...but it's offspring sure did. I'll wait until fall and try to transplant the rogue offshoots into a bed. I love new gravel. It's so clean.

This is a better view of the camellia as it now looks like a tree. Before the branches bulged out all the way to the cement border and Peter would hide under it in the cool shade. That big stump in the middle of everything is slowly rotting away. If I can get someone to loan me their axe I'd annihilate it, but the wood is too hard for me to destroy with just my hammer. See the little stick bush to its right? That's what's left of the huckleberry bush. I'm leaving what's left for birds to eat. Problem with this side of the yard is I never get to the back to water anything so the only thing willing to grow was weeds. Eventually I'll remove the whole huckleberry bush. I don't like huckleberries.

Well, it's been a good thing to get done, but it definitely kept me from having to crawl under the house!

Garden Miracles

Today is perfect weather. How often does that happen? It's sunny, warm, with a slight breeze. Not too hot (yesterday was in the 90s), no rain (rare), and no stink in the air. I haven't been doing much gardening this year being unable to walk for a while and then preoccupied with construction projects so I didn't plant much. It's at the point where it takes care of itself and that's fine by me!

Peter's sun garden. Those sticks are where sunflowers are, but they aren't growing
fast enough and bugs keep eating them.

Pumpkin. Bug eaten leaf, but the others look fine!
That gives me hope.

Kabocha squash. Nice.

 

Zucchini squash. Nice.

 

 

 

Feverfew. This bush grew wild and now it's quite large.

 

 

I used to feed the roses to Peter. They are beautiful and smell lovely,
but they make me sad now.

 

Clematis. Taking over the deck.

 

First blooming poppy.

 

Apple tree is LOADED this year. I've never seen so many apples!
They probably won't be as big and juicy as last year's harvest
since there was only ten or so,
but now there are at least 100!
The rabbit manure (nitrogen) must be wearing off.

I Admit...I'm a Recipe Thief (Salmon Salad)

Have you ever been waiting in the lobby of a doctor's office, waiting, waiting, waiting. You decide to flip through a very outdated (non-smelly) magazine in the magazine rack just to look like you aren't bored and to avoid the others also waiting. There is a recipe in the magazine that actually fits within all the dietary restrictions you have. Of course, you have no paper or pen and a nurse will come out and take you away at any moment. You know once you leave, that recipe is lost forever. Or...you rip that page out of the magazine as quietly as possible, stuff it in your purse, and try to look innocent. Well, that's what I did. Good recipes are like gold: rare and precious. I don't know what's come over me. For a few brief moments I felt so guilty I almost changed my mind, then I just went for it. I never used to be like this. Anyway...Yatna the recipe thief.

Here is my modified version of the stolen recipe:

STOLEN SALMON SALAD

Ingredients:

5-7 ounces of salmon, cooked, cooled, deboned, chopped into little bits.
2 tablespoons fresh basil, chopped into tiny bits
2 tablespoons mayonnaise, the healthy kind, if possible
1 small clove of garlic, minced
5 pitted kalamata olives, chopped
2 green onions, chopped into tiny bits

2 ripe but firm avocados, cut in half, pitted
salt and pepper
1 tablespoon pine nuts, toasted (optional)

Mix everything but the avocado and pine nuts in a bowl. Place salad on top of the avocado. Salt and pepper as you like and sprinkle with pine nuts. Eat.

Yum.

Closet Remodel: Color! (Part 4)

Several people have asked me why I want to paint the wood because it's so beautiful. First, the wood isn't that beautiful. Lots of gouges, dings, knots, holes where knots used to be, and imperfections. This is cheap, thin paneling wood not meant to be admired. Second, paint will cover up all the ugly I created with my poor construction skills. Third, painting it will match the rest of my house as there are no other walls or rooms of just plain wood. Everything is painted. And last, but definitely not least, WHAT? NOT PAINT? I'm fairly certain the only reason I really decided to remodel these closets is because I've run out of rooms to paint. And, OH! How I love to paint!

However, I don't like painting over the beautiful floors. If the previous owners hadn't plugged up the holes with putty and instead, used plugs they could have been saved. You can see the many years of scratches and wear (people sliding things in and out of the closet), but the wood is gorgeous. Below is the south closet just after it's 7th cleaning with the wood looking it's best (wet) and the holes looking their worst. I really love old wood floors.

When I first moved into the house I tried sanding all the floors, but there were too many problems with very deep gouges and scratches, holes, cracks and...horse hair. The living room floors still had the old glue from the 1930s and horse hair stuck to it from the old rug backing. They were gruesome and took me one whole day to get most of it off. Soft fir floors can get really thin really fast with as much sanding that needed to be done to restore them, I didn't think it would be good enough with the deep scratches. Then there is the dust, the toxic refinishing, and cost of the machine rentals so I gave up. Besides I didn't know what I was doing. Professional sanding from a man who was drenched in cologne would have cost $1800 for just the upstairs floors...the paint only cost $65. I was really poor at the time and I figured I could always strip them later. For the last eight years I've saved what was left over so I could someday finish the closets! That day has arrived!



South closet original floors.

First step, make sure all the floor holes are filled. I found one more crack in the wood that I think is too large. It's important that the floor is smoothed for as a storage space, one should be able to slide boxes back and forth without snagging on something that will hinder movement. So I filled the last hole with wood filler, let it dry, hand sanded it which kept the dust problem controlled.

Second step, clean all surfaces. Since the sander dust was out of control I wanted to make sure no residue was left on the surfaces. I washed ceilings and walls and then scrubbed the floor again and again and again!

Next, prime everything. I'm using Kilz on the ceiling and walls and the better quality Zinsser on the floor. The floors are very raw, banged up, and filthy so I made sure to clean them as much as possible and the primer will seal them well before I paint them the heavy duty "porch and floor" paint. This paint is toxic so I'm not looking forward to it. When I used it on the rest of the upstairs, it took about nine months for it to offgas. I'm using an air purifier, a fan pointing out the window and I've sealed off the bedrooms and put rugs under the doors to lessen the toxicity. I primed the floors twice in hopes of only having to put only one layer of the porch and floor paint.




North closet, primed.

Priming is important. My low-VOC designer paint, DEVINE, is really expensive and all that raw, untreated wood will soak it up if I don't seal it with primer. I also think primer helps balance out all the problems with the wood which leaves a very nice painting canvas finish. Primer, however, is really stinky so I have to wear a mask, glasses and gloves.

Color! Oh, be still my heart! I get so excited. Every room, partial room, and space that might even be misunderstood as a room is a different color in my house. I'm partial to cool colors: blues, purples, greens and some pinks. I've been planning these closets for a while and thinking they'd be dark (pre-electrification), small, rarely looked, at or packed with boxes and covered up, I figured I could use a wild color and still feel sane. So I'm opting for light yellow-orange and light red-orange, or "Mango" and "Cantaloupe". Then I got to thinking cantaloupes are more orange than red-orange so I changed it to "Cantaloupe" and "Melon" or "Habanero" and  "Coral" or "Goldfish" and "Salmon". I prefer fruit analogies  ARGH!



Color Samples: How many different oranges can I make?

If you are thinking, Good god, Yatna, just figure it out and be done with it! Who really needs to name their colors? Well, this is the fun part for me. I love color. I've already spent lots of time looking a color samples and now I can spend lots of time thinking about color and once it's painted, LOOKING at color! Such a small joy that is huge in my life!

Anyway, I think opening one of these little doors, clicking on the light, and seeing a burst of bright color would be a nice surprise. Like a beautiful sunrise. Or sunset. Hmmmm...if the closets were east and west I'd name them "Sunrise Closet" and the "Sunset Closet", but they aren't. These aren't rooms one would normally spend time lounging around in and I think most would say calling it a "room" is a gross exaggeration. However, once it's finished, I might hang out in there, close the door, and enjoy the color experience. I grew up in a huge farm house with big walk-in closets. I moved into a closet once, and as a teenager, there I lived like a recluse in solitude with my radio closed off from my noisy siblings. I am partial to small, cozy, cocoon or cave-like places. Yatna, the bat.

Part of the joy is mixing the paint and watching the colors create themselves. Problem with custom mixing is if you don't make enough and you run out, tough luck. But if you mix it wrong and waste all your paint, oops. It's a challenge. Of course, I kept mixing and mixing and then realized too late I was running out of yellow, a color I need for both. At one point I thought maybe I should forget about two different colors, mix what I have all together and paint them the same color, but that wouldn't be as fun. What I ended up with is fine, but I would have liked the one on the left a little more yellow so there is clearly a difference between the two.



The finalists. Vote for your favorite name combinations:
Cantaloupe and Melon
Goldfish and Salmon
Habanero and Coral
Sunrise and Sunset

Then a neighbor who is a construction god came over for an impromptu inspection. He took one look at the gapping holes between the walls and the ceiling and said, "You are going to put molding, right?" HA!  I had just come home from the hardware store overwhelmed by the choices of molding and unable to decide so I asked his advice. He ask if I wanted something fancy. "Oh, heck, no, they are just closets!" He gave me some wood he had in his basement that he custom cut for molding and never used. FREE MOLDING! Hooray! The molding, however, was a real pain. I bought some nails and nearly every one of them bent when I hammered it in so I started drilling screws to hold up the molding. Not easy as they are placed at such weird angles.

I found some old wooden door knobs at an antique shop for $1 each and I painted them.

For some reason I thought I needed three knobs on each door. This is because when I removed the old handle, it left two holes. This is just a way to camouflage the holes and do something crazy and colorful.

Done!

North Closet

South Closet

North Closet

South Closet

This project took longer and cost more than I ever expected. A few years ago a construction man gave me a quote. According to his calculations, it would have taken him only eight hours to do the whole thing. It took me two months not including the planning.

I'm glad the closets are done and now useful. Under a pile of supplies I found my shopping list, diagrams and the plans for these closets. I felt slightly queasy and thought, I'm so glad that's over. I don't ever want to do that again. It's interesting how motivated I always feel at the beginning, but utterly drained by the time it's finished.