Almond Butter...Yum Yum

I've been into almond butter for the last six months. I won't call it a craving, but it's satisfying beyond belief. As you might recall from my post on glycemic index and inflammation, almond butter is low in sugar and very high in natural anti-inflammatories. I feel good about eating it.

Since I have been diagnosed with Hashimoto's, there is always the risk of blood sugar imbalances so every doctor I've seen suggests eating protein right before bedtime. It helps you sleep because it stabilizes your blood sugar. Almond butter is at the top of the list as an excellent source of protein and its healthy fat content makes you feel satisfied so you need very little to do the trick.

I buy it in bulk.  It comes in a huge container and at my co-op I have arrived at the perfect time when the old container is almost gone so they bring out a new container full of the smooth, good-smelling, fresh nut butter. It's heavenly. The employees let me keep the old container which is handy for weeds or storage or whatever.

One of the freebie buckets.

So, nearly every week for the last six months I have been buying anywhere from a pint to a quart of this wonderfully yummy nut butter. That's a HELL of a lot of almond butter! I'm sure it contributes to my lack of weight loss, but I don't care. Yum. Yum. It's also very expensive.

Last Saturday I bought another 16 oz. of almond butter ($7.82 worth). I opened the lid and it's filled to the brim with fresh, yummyful, creaminess. Mmmm. I scoop out a spoonful right before bedtime, feeling lucky that this indulgence is even doctor-approved. I'm looking at the spoonful of creaminess ready to put it in my mouth and...there is something in the almond butter. Not just in, but sticking straight up OUT of the nut butter.

I look closer.  What the hell? It's black, about almost an inch long, very thin with a hook shape at the top. At first I think it's metal, or a wire. I get some tweezers and look at it closer. It breaks so it's not metal. Even if it is metal it shouldn't be in my spoonful of almond butter, but more importantly, my brain kicks into gear and I'm properly grossed out. I almost put that in my mouth!

Unfortunately I didn't take a picture, but I can draw a picture:

Actual Size

Which kinda looks like this:

Which is part of this:

Actual size of that part's owner, too, I think.

I do feel really fortunate it was sticking out of the almond butter and not hidden under the spoonful. This time. Eeewww. Saying I was incredibly grossed out and wanted to drink bleach to sterilize anything else I might have unknowingly swallowed in the last six months is an understatement.

I don't know why I'm bothered. A factory or building where nut butters are made has got to be crawling with all kinds of vermin attracted to the heavenly creaminess just as much as I am. A DJ on a local radio station last year was talking about the number of spiders humans inadvertently eat in their lifetime usually in their sleep. That little piece of unnecessary information has been seared onto my brain. I wish I could un-hear that. I know I've blogged about chocolate manufacturing and how one must expect to eat vermin anatomy that is cooked right in to the recipe. But still...

And maybe I am wrong. Maybe it was a piece of an almond shell (they aren't black). Maybe it was a tiny little twig (they aren't black). Maybe it was totally something else. Maybe.

I won't ever again buy almond butter. Not in my lifetime!