NSAID Breakfast-Style (A Cautionary Tale)

I've been abusing the NSAIDs. I do feel fortunately this is one drug I can tolerate at low levels. They sure help if one has a migraine or in my most recent case, a bum foot. Ibuprofen is my drug of choice, the generic rather than the more expensive and popular Advil.

In my youth I lived on ibuprofen taking massive quantities in place of the prescribed Motrin for carpal tunnel pain. I was also prescribed a drug called Tagamet to compensate for the stomach-eating side effects of ibuprofen. I can only imagine what this pain killer addiction did to my insides.

Now my strategy is to take ibuprofen only when absolutely necessary, in the middle of a very large meal, and then wash it down with a very large glass of water. This seems to work, but I still need to watch how much I take and for how long or I'll start feeling queasy.

One of the advantages of ibuprofen besides pain relief is it works as an anti-inflammatory. With any injury, it is imperative to get the inflammation and swelling under control in order for healing to begin. I started popping pills right away determined to heal quickly and survive this inconvenience.

Yesterday I made a nice breakfast of scrambled eggs which is a really good ibuprofen buffer due to the fat content. I chopped and diced the onions, peppers and garlic into colorful piles, whisked up the eggs, and set the table. I have a very methodical approach to food preparation. As the pan heated I removed one pill from its bottle and laid it on the counter. I try to take the pill in the middle of the meal and this reminds me not to forget. I scooped up and sautéed the chopped bits then added eggs.

What is that smell???? I look around to see if I left something near the burner. Maybe it's old food that was dribbled down in the burner pan, but I see nothing. It smells metallic, plastic. Toxic. Not a normal kitchen smell. Not finding anything suspicious I think nothing of it. It dissipated quickly. I serve the food and eat. Yum. Wonderful. When half of it's gone I get up to get the ibuprofen pill on the counter. It's not there. I distinctly remember getting it out of the bottle so I wouldn't forget to take it. I wonder if I'm having a senior moment. Am I old enough to have senior moments?

OH MY GOD! I scooped it up with the onions and sautéed it with the peppers! That plastic smell!

I searched the remainder of my breakfast for any large pill-like shapes. Nothing. Why didn't I taste it in the food? Why didn't the eggs crunch? The pill must have melted in the pan. I was a bit worry about the chemical reactions of heated ibuprofen, but found nothing online but overdose warnings. I threw away the rest of the food.

A half an hour later I felt incredibly queasy and nauseous. My stomach doesn't like sautéed NSAIDs.