2024: REVIEW AND RESOLUTION

This year was wild! It was an emotional rollercoaster, stressful, wonderful, horrifying, brilliant and, well, life at its finest. I survived to tell the tale!

 

AWESOME THINGS:

TAROT READING: Early in 2024 I had a tarot reading done. It was very informative and interesting. She said all kinds of incredibly accurate things, BUT then she said 2024 is the year I will MOVE! I started crying. Really! I started crying! She had no idea I was planning to put my house up for sale. Amazing.

MOVING: And I moved! "Moving" should also go under HORRIBLE things, too, due to the stress. But when all hope was lost, I kept chanting defiantly, “NO! AILENE SAID I WAS GOING TO MOVE THIS YEAR! NOT NEXT YEAR! NOT ANOTHER YEAR! THIS YEAR! I AM MOVING THIS YEAR!” And I did. As I drove away from Rathole in a Uhaul with what was left over of my worldly belongings, I had this odd sense of calm wash over me. I kept yelling at my friend who was in the co-pilot seat, “I FEEL SO CALM!” Nineteen years of anxiety, stress, and depression just melted away as I drove away!

SELLING: I started my marathon of downsizing last year and I just kept on going through 2024! I sold a four-bedroom house packed to the rafters worth of junk. I sold childhood memories, accumulated free junk, furniture, and about one hundred and fifty art history books plus another fifty or so non-art books! I still have the ads and photos and when I look through them, I am in disbelief! Near the end, I was giving things away, donating, and just chucking it in the garbage. I still ended up with too much: eighty boxes, two tables, five chairs that go with those tables, a bike, a bunch of art, and a twin bed frame. The leftovers are still being sold little by little to empty out the storage unit. I only cried twice. Once when I sold my rabbit statue that reminded me of my bunny and when I sold Kitty, the doll I had since I was four years old....But I was happy she got a new home instead of ending up in the garbage or worse, buried in the woods (as one friend suggested).

MAJOR SELLING: I sold my house! It almost didn't happen. It was close. All spring and summer - high season for real estate sales - and nothing. When I put it up for sale in May there were few houses in my area on the market and I was very happy and hopeful with the lack of competition. When June came around, everyone had their house up for sale! It was very discouraging watching my neighbors’ houses sell and mine just sit there. Actually, it was incredibly stressful. Would I be forced to stay another winter in rainy cold Rathole? Would I be responsible for financially maintaining both a house and an apartment? If you have seen photos I have posted, my house was a little unusual with bright walls, painted walls, floors and ceilings, painted switchplates and furniture, and all manner of crazy creativity. It’s not for everyone. However, many people, including some I didn’t even know, would approach me and ask, “Is your house the creative, colorful one being sold? Oh, I wish I could buy it!” I don’t know if they were just being polite, but it gave me hope. 

But still no offers. I found out of the three agents in my area, two of them weren’t showing it because there was a request to be fragrance-free and they couldn’t be bothered to go without stink in order to show it. Prospective buyers still showed up stinking of laundry detergent or shampoo. What a nightmare! I lowered the price. Nothing. I lowered the price again drastically and I got ONE offer in the fall. These people had inspections done on three other houses and deemed them not well-cared for enough. I had no hope since my house is over 100 years old, but they bought it! I am still amazed and thankful! I feel so free! No more house maintenance. No more cleaning gutters and windows. I don't care if the fence falls apart every winter or if the trees blow over onto the roof! Most importantly, no more bad neighbors. If I wasn’t so excited, relieved and thrilled it sold, I would put it under HORRIBLE for the nervous breakdown experience.

THE VAN!!!:  I finally bought a van! After searching for a van for nearly a year, buying Big Blue was sudden, easy, and comfortably meant to be. I was not prepared to move into a van and live in one, but I did, mostly out of necessity. The very steep learning curved adventure commenced! I really should put this under the SO-SO category since the adjustment was anything but awesome, but after two years of researching and planning, I finally did it and that is awesome! No more rent costs or utility payments. Free to travel and explore. The adventure begins!

 

TRAVEL: I haven't ventured out much yet with Big Blue as I'm trying to get her outfitted for independence and waiting for winter to be over, but I have explored a lot of Arizona and New Mexico! So fun being nomadic!

FRAGRANCE-FREE MCS FRIENDS! I finally found my tribe! It’s amazing going to social functions with these people and not have to worry about being poisoned!

FRIENDS: I made more friends here in Tucson in the first two weeks than I did in Rathole in nineteen years!

CYCLING: Tucson has cycling clubs, cycling paths, cycling shops, cycling swap meets (the biggest in the country), and cyclists. Lots of cycling! It's amazing to be able to ride my bike again after it's been stored in a closet for nearly twenty years. The first time I got teary-eyed. I have found an older women's group to ride with...more my speed! Excellent.

PEN PALS: I love my pen pals! Not only is letter writing good entertainment, but with this move it provided much needed stability and support. One of my pen friends sent me a collaged card she made in honor of my move that I received my first day in Tucson! I love it! I felt so honored.

SO-SO THINGS:

TUCSON: I moved to Tucson. I don't know. Initially I was really excited. Then I encountered the worst human on earth (see below under REALLY, REALLY HORRIBLE EXPERIENCES...) which greatly affected my feelings for Tucson It should have been great. This city has a multiple chemical sensitivity community, an art community, sunshine and dry weather most of the time, a lot of health- oriented grocery stores, lots of friendly people, and the whole city is one big bike lane! What could go wrong?  I now see the bad roads, bad drivers, constant congestion, expensive food, and Republicans. It's definitely not warm here in the winter at night dipping into the 30s, but it's not raining.  I was hoping my health would improve as so many have claimed, but it has only seemed to get worse. I wrote a summary post on Tucson.

ART: I tried joining some art groups: plein art and watercolor, but 1) the artist-members were really talented which made me feel stupid, and 2) when life got stressful, I stopped going. Maybe I’ll try again in the future.

UHAULING: I feel really proud I packed up what was left of my house into a Uhaul truck and drove all the way across four states. Driving 9 hours one day, then 15 hours, then 12 hours, then 3 hours was exhausting. My friend came with for company and that was fun. The truck was on the verge of breaking down the whole trip and we couldn't remove the key out of the ignition unless we wanted to be stranded. We slept at rest stops and truck stops. Then I unpacked the truck myself. Did I really do that? At my age?

REALLY, REALLY HORRIBLE EXPERIENCES:

THE PSYCHOPATHIC LANDLADY PIECE OF GARBAGE: I rented a tiny apartment from an elderly, possessive, self-centered, egocentric, obsessive psychopath who was in my face everyday criticizing, questioning, demanding and compulsively pathologically lying every step of the way. I was so incredibly stressed out and unable to function, tiptoeing around in my own home and afraid to touch silverware for fear she’d hear me, and paranoid as hell. When she'd hear me open my door on arrival, she's show up on my patio demanding to discuss some imaginary issue or demanded to know what I might be doing that she didn't like. She instructed me on requirements for cleaning the apartment and even what products to use, what I was allowed to do, what I can bring into the apartment, when I could use the patio at my door, threatened me if I left the gate unlocked, on and on and on. If I asked her a question or informed her of anything, she perceived it as a personal attack and would become vengefully defensive. Then she began wafting scented something through the HVAC system and that was my breaking point. I saw a lawyer and started defending myself. She eventually agreed with me this wasn’t working for either of us and let me out of my one-year lease. Thank god for small miracles! I can't believe I survived that. I will never in my life rent again.

THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION: How does that happen? What is the point of voting if my vote doesn’t count because of this idiotic electoral college? It was rigged. Men with money who have friends with money can get away with nearly anything. Money and male dominance is the American way. I've heard about some of the voting statistics and how they aren't making sense. But this is our political system. I’m sick to my stomach. But at one point I told a friend if voting for the buffoon would make this psychopathic witch disappear out of my life, I would in a heartbeat!

RENTAL SEARCH: I was so stressed out knowing if someone bought my house, and I only had thirty days to move, would I be able to find a safe place to live? I made two trips to Tucson and couldn't find much. I finally settle on a tiny apartment owned by a woman who claimed to be fragrance-free who ended up to be a raving psychopath (see above). The stress of it all was unimaginable. I don't ever want to do that again ever!

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION FOR 2025: I don't have one. I told a friend I have had so many things happen in the last year, so many goals met, so many dreams fulfilled, I've had enough resolutions come true in 2024 to last me at least five or ten years. Maybe my resolution is to be calm, stress-free, and happy?

 

 

 

 

Uhauling Across the Country!!

 

Here we go! It's really happening!

I packed up the whole house a month before the closing date. I lived out of boxes. I sold most of my furniture and most of what was left of my belongings in an attempt to fit what I had in a 15 x 15 Uhaul truck. I did such a great job, I only filled half of the truck, but I needed that size in order to drag my little car behind.

EMPTY...

I picked up the Uhaul and loaded everything into the truck. The last half hour my friend came with her husband and helped with the heavier items. My darling friend agreed to ride with me. She refused to drive, but I can't even attempt to express how grateful I was for her company. She was a trooper sleeping at truck stops and rest stops, not once demanding a nice, warm, cushy hotel room! It was a wonderful road trip with a delightful friend who helped me so much along the way!

SO EMPTY...

First, before we even started our journey, the battery went dead! My friend's husband was not impressed and clearly worried, but it was fixed. It didn't stop there, what we didn't know is the Uhaul's ignition was going out. This meant we usually couldn't get the key out of the ignition or if by chance we could, we then couldn't get the truck started for about 20 minutes! One of us always had to stay with the truck so even if we wanted to stay at a cushy, warm hotel, one of us always had to guard the truck. (We were a little crazy hearing how Uhauls are so often stolen anyway!) Uhaul changed my reservation to a local dealer who didn't know how to hook up the car dolly and we found out 500 miles in it was hooked up incorrectly...or rather wasn't hooked at all!  We only ended up lost way out in the country once. At night! What an adventure to say the least!

REALLY EMPTY...

But, as soon as I started driving out of Rathole, I had this amazing sense of calm come over me! Nineteen years of stress evaporated! I kept yelling, "I feel so calm!"

The first day I drove 12 hours, second day 15 hours, third day 9 hours, and last day 3 hours. My friend was in charge of music and maps. We arrived! I unpacked the Uhaul into a storage unit, taking some things to the apartment. 

I was in Tucson finally!

The Escape Plan

 

Another year come and gone! As I review my 2022 New Year's Resolution in preparation to write my review of 2023, I pondered the goal of "plan escape". Did I succeed? Did I plan my escape?

I have planned my escape for eighteen years. Between bad neighbors with barking dogs, smelly laundry, inconsiderate rudeness, and houses that are just too close, the lack of basic community amenities like competent health care, organic food, decent phone service or postal service, and an overabundance of wet, damp and mold that I'm sure has contributed to some of my health issues, I have longed to escape, Rathole, my hell hole. I have dreamed of a place that is chemically sensitive aware, dry, warm, inexpensive with real health care and organic food. My state is one of the more expensive places to live although I didn't realize this until I started looking around.

I stayed where I am for so long for many reasons. First, was to gain equity in the house and property so it would end up a good investment and not a waste of money. Second, wait until I was retired. Third, save money. Fourth, find courage. Fifth, it's just difficult and usually unsafe to move. The past attempts have taught me that. In addition, over the years the world has intervened: economic recessions and depressions and then the pandemic. But is there a perfect place for me? Is it even possible to find a safe home?

I've decided to take a risk and venture forth! 2024 will be my year to move! How to proceed and take steps forward?

So 2023, I started planning and taking action. First, by trying to sell things. I went through all my closets and brought storage into the light. Good god, I have a lot art projects hidden away from view! Art has been my entertainment in seclusion. It keeps me sane and cognitively occupied. For years I was unable to attend festivals or markets since in-person selling was deemed too toxic. What do I do with all this boxed art and other unnecessary possessions I've hoarded over a lifetime?

My friends kept telling me to attempt Etsy. So I did. What a waste of money! First, they require you pay for every listing which sounds cheap until it starts adding up. Second, then if one wants things to actually sell, one must pay to market your items. After four months, I sold nothing. Now, I recognized at the time maybe my art is just ugly so I found the whole Etsy experience to be discouraging if not self-esteem damaging.

Then I decided I needed to sell my art history library, my expensive collection of coffee table and scholarly books, with the goal when it's gone I can move. Everyone said try eBay. I've always been leery of online anything. In fact I've never purchased anything from eBay or Etsy in my life, but I dove in head first. I got the feel for it with Etsy. Would eBay be more difficult or easier?

The eBay learning curve was hellishly steep! Trying to figure out how to work the shipping with all its rules and requirements was daunting. The scams and possible problems made the my probation stressful. After too many learning glitches, I figured it all out!  Once I had all the items listed which is the time consuming part, all I do now is wait for something to sell, pack it and ship it. Done! eBay does all the finances and deposits money into my bank account! How wonderful is that? Some people make up to $6,000 a month reselling things! I'm just selling my personal junk, but every dollar counts.

Things started selling immediately!! I didn't realize a lot of those art history books were limited edition collector publications going for $75, $100, and $200!! Others were just plain and old but still sold for $10, $25, $45...better than nothing! So far I've sold about 75 books. 

Along with listing 150 art history books, I listed personal possessions. Some of these possessions I've had all my life. Selling personal items that were sentimental was a little more difficult, but at the same time freeing. I kept thinking how wonderful part of my history was getting a new owner and start a new history. I sold my Girl Scout necklace, all my Partridge Family memorabilia, old records, dolls, jewelry, clothes, purses, travel mementos, collections and even free things I would find at yard sales and thrift stores. It amazes me what people buy and how much they are willing to pay for shipping! It's been really fun, cleansing, and surprisingly lucrative!

My next step was to sell the art stored in boxes in the back of closets. Etsy didn't work so well, but maybe I can do one summer art show and sell for cheap just to unload? I felt pretty intimidated due to my Etsy experience, but I ventured forth courageously and signed up for a local artist tour. I was hoping to get rid of my 200 painted rocks and 30 glass mosaics. I harassed two friends as helpers. One would be my assistant should a smelly buyer approach and the other would be in the booth next to me to serve as a partition from other vendors who might be selling smelly products. My booth was outside so plenty of fresh air and cleansing breeze. I sold way more than I ever thought I would, but I admit I priced things really low. More importantly, I survived! 

Realizing I could survive selling at art tours, markets and festivals, I started signing up for every weekend selling opportunity all summer long. My rules were it had to be outside, I had to have space around my booth. Often these booths are packed in like sardines and too close for comfort. Sometimes this required I purchase two booth fees and situate my canopy in the middle. The booth fee had to be relatively low so I would at least recoup its cost. I also requested I not be placed next to stink: scented soaps, incense, air fresheners, candles, essential oils. Most event planners ignored me, some attempted to accommodate me although since they didn't understand didn't succeed, and one was perfect, placing me on the corner outside away from others with a non-smelly vendor selling t-shirts right next to me.

I found I had a closet full of frames and another full of unused canvases. My goal was to unload anything I could. I started building inventory using anything I had. I ripped up sketchbook sketches and framed them. I starting doing watercolor paintings to use the frames, painting the frames, and painting the canvases. I even sold many of the watercolor sketches I've used to illustrate this blog! I used my collection of hoarded gift bags, tissue paper and recycled bubble wrap to wrap sold items.

Wow! It was fun, exhausting, lucrative, and productive. I watched happily as my boxes emptied and after each weekend my van became less packed. I lost about 15 lbs and got a lot of exercise hauling boxes, a canopy, tables and cement blocks. I met a lot of people. I even received a few commissions but I limited those as my goal was to rid myself of art I already had rather than create more art. Still, I used the canvases for the commissions. I encountered very few perfume wearers and when I did, stepped upwind to make sure the breeze carried the stench away. Several people asked me if I would teach classes and I had to decline. I can't be in an enclosed, inside room with stinkers.

Next I am attempting Facebook Marketplace for items I can't or don't want to ship for fear of breakage or furniture that is just too big.

2023 was a great year for escape planning and action! I also had my tarot cards read and they said I'm in the planning and thinking stage, taking steps preparing for action. Yep! Next year the cards say I am moving. I cried when I heard that!