The Year End Assessment, or, What an Awesome Year!

Happy New Year! 2015 came and went. Fast. Did it go as quickly for you as it did for me? It's now time for reflection and personal assessment. I've been doing this every year since 1987 and it's always an interesting learning experience.

GOOD STUFF:

1) My blog...which serves as therapy, community, and entertainment.

2) My house...with it's newly stained fence, crazy painted porch, and outstanding garden. I'm so thankful to have a safe place to live (relatively speaking) that provides lots of fun and entertainment!

3) ZIPPY! After years of shopping, I finally found and bought a car that's more like a large dog that doesn't bark, poop, stink, have fleas or beg. It goes where I want, when I want. Very obedient and oh so cute! My gratitude is overwhelming.

4) My polka dot chair and table...makes me feel like a party is always at my house. Next year I plan to paint more polka dots! On everything!

5) I FEEL WONDERFUL! My health has improved by leaps and bounds. I rarely have any noticeable fatigue and I have enough energy for life. I finally found the secret: stick to the diet, no cheating, and no overeating as that also creates inflammation and taxes the thyroid. As Dr. Kharrazian says, "It's not just what you eat, it's HOW you eat."  Hooray for progress!

6) My fragrance-free friends, both online and offline. THANK YOU FOR KEEPING ME SANE.

7) Money. I love money. With energy comes money. With money comes security. With security comes less stress. With less stress comes better health. With better health comes happiness. Money is good.

Hmmmm?

Re-Friending. This was both fantastic and traumatizing so it's under neutral or questionable or hmmmm?. Reconnecting with old friends at first was really fun and exciting! I love finding out what people have done with their lives. With so much catching up to do, most of them emailed consistently at the beginning. We laughed until we cried. We confessed mistakes and regrets. We shared life goals and health challenges. It was nice reconnecting with my former life and wonderful to have pen pals...for a short time.

Peopling my life isn't without challenges. One friend only wanted to send me short headlines of self-centered drama every couple weeks without shared conversation. "My Son's Back in Prison." "My Daughter is a Meth Addict." "My Brother is Dead."  If it wasn't so disturbing it might have been entertaining.  It ended up just being exhausting as I kept wanting to fix her life, but I realized after a while there was no solution to any of it. Another old friend did the same thing. She never emailed, but if I emailed her in hopes of inspiring her to email, her excuses were surgery, family problems, and then finally cancer. Then she'd post photos of herself with friends shopping at the mall looking quite healthy and unstressed. Hmmm?

Some refused to email at all. One kept sending me her email addresses repeatedly with "I look forward to our reconnection" and that was it. Right around the time of my high school reunion, several ex-friends followed me on Facebook in lieu of friending because I have that option blocked. When I wrote to them to tell them I really don't do Facebook, but I'd love to hear from them and catch up via email, they immediately un-followed me and disappeared. LOL! So much for the value of ex-friendship. Do they really want to connect or am I just a Facebook number, a trophy, someone who will tell them they are beautiful when they post their daily selfie? I don't know if all the disappointment was worth it. Nearly all reconnections eventually disconnected with the confession they really don't like to email. Oh well....

Email communication was great, but I didn't stop there! A few of the new ex-friends made an effort to visited or we went places for fun! It was so glorious not to feel so isolated. So grateful for human contact I let my guard down and stopped reminding people they need to be fragrance free. One by one encounters became toxic with people walking into my house saturated in stinky laundry detergent, on-the-road bathroom hand soap, or some unidentified stink. Some people just didn't get it or couldn't smell it so they had no clue.

Aside from the stress and frustration it caused, I viewed this as a opportunity to practice patience. For someone who is perpetually impatient and irritable as a side-effect of chemical poisoning, this has been quite a challenge. I resisted the urge to scream at them, HOW CAN YOU BE SO THOUGHTLESS? I avoided the impulse to sarcastically berate them in writing, HOW CAN YOU BE SO STUPID? I abstained from being disrespectfully unfriendly, ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME? I took a step back (and out of their air space) in each instance and let the anger wash over me and reminded myself these people don't deal with stinky poisons on a daily basis like I do.  I taught myself how not to burn bridges with my vile tongue. I was so thankful for people who wanted to visit and TRY to be fragrance-free I took too many risks. As a consequence I'd be forced to go to bed for hours if not days feeling so ill I couldn't function. It's been a great learning experience. YES! I can be around real people and not kill anyone, but it's exhausting. It's easier to be a hermit. There is a reason I've exiled myself out in the middle of no where - a place people do not want to visit. It's less tempting and less compromising. I've kind of given up on the search for new friends...for now...and I'm thankful for my isolation.

Anyway, yes, some set backs, but I prefer to concentrate on the positive experiences. People can make life really enjoyable!

BAD STUFF:

1) Health care and mystery pain. Too many useless, expensive doctors wanting to do too many unnecessary, expensive tests with no answers and no solutions. I got really tired being quoted $1300 for labs only to be told after I complained loud enough that, OH! there is a discount and I guess we can give that to you for only $500. What is with these two-tiered health care costs? If they think they can get away with it, they will. I finally self-diagnosed myself and things have been improving. Whether my self-diagnoses are accurate is anyone's guess, but my assumptions can't be worse than the ignorant opinions of doctors with dollars signs in their eyes who all contradicted each other!

2) Useless insurance coverage. My insurance decided I wasn't paying enough money through the health care exchange and refuse claims without telling me. Nine months later one of my doctors contacted me to let me now this is what they were doing. When finally questioned, they said it's not their job to communicate with the customer as the customer should call them if there is a problem. Of course, they were taking the money I was paying, just not providing the service according to my contract. I wrote to anyone who mattered included every political representative in my area voicing my displeasure with the health care system demanding an apology from the insurance company. I was immediately informed by the powers-that-be I WAS paying the correct amount and after a month of bureaucratic bullshit, the insurance company sent a written apology and resumed service. The apology was really surprising! Needless to say, they are no longer my insurance company. When are we getting single payer insurance coverage? This corporate sleaziness has got to go.

However, for 2015, the Good far outweighs the Bad. It's been an excellent year!

New Year's Resolutions: Vote for the presidential candidate who supports universal health care (that's NOT Hillary!), maybe next year I'll finally get to move, and NO DOCTORS if I can possibly help it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I wish everyone much joy and happiness in 2016.

Surviving the Holidays

 

The holidays are here! Woe to those who are chemically sensitive.  It doesn't matter if you celebrate Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Al Hijra, Hanukkah, Ashura, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Boxing Day, New Year's Eve or New Year's Day, it's human inclination to want to join together in merriment. That means lots of people and lots of stink. Here are my Top Ten Tips for surviving the holidays:

1.) Don't go shopping for gifts. Buy them online and have them sent directly. Or buy gift cards and mail them. Better yet, don't contribute to the materialism of the season. Make mementos or give IOUs for things like massages, house-cleaning projects, car washing, or other helpful acts of kindness. Or donate to charities in the name of your friend or relative to feed the hungry or give basic necessities to the poor. We own too much.

2.) If you plan to murder and waste a living tree, get an organic one that hasn't been sprayed with pesticides or preserved with pine-scented fresheners. Or better find a little fake tree so you can use it every year. No wait, they are usually made from plastics or chemicals. Even better, go outside, pick up one of the many branches that broke off in the last storm and decorate it. The Swiss have a tradition of putting a Christmas tree on top at the apex of a newly constructed house frame as a symbol of happiness to come. It's just a stick with a few decorations, but the meaning is enormous. Do we need a ten foot tall, freshly murdered tree to symbolize our materialism and bad taste? If you need the fresh scent of pine,  gather pine branches from your neighbor's pine tree that's in pieces all over your yard. There are benefits to winter storms! Be grateful. Make a wreath while you are at it!


3.) Christmas lights. Oh, I love Christmas lights. Do you know the plastic used to cover the wires is made with lead? Check the box or packaging the lights came in as there is often a warning. CAUTION: Prop 65 WARNING: Handling the coated electrical wires of this product exposes you to lead, a chemical known to the State of California to cause cancer, birth defects and other reproductive harm. Wash hands after use. Who would have thought? You don't want to eat any fudge with bare, unwashed hands after handling twinkle lights. In addition, when this plastic gets old it starts to disintegrate and the lead flakes off creating a dust all over. I guess most of us should feel lucky only in the State of California is lead hazardous. Does that mean everyone else's lights are safe?

 

 

4.) Don't buy Christmas cards or stand in line at the post office with smelly people for stamps and mailings. Instead, there are many websites for ecard deliveries or make your own Christmas letter with embedded photos. Email doesn't involve licking scented adhesives on stamps or envelopes.




5.) Don't go to people's houses for holiday dinners or you risk being poisoned and disappointed. Invite them to come to your house scent-free for a fragrance-free gathering. Buy an organic, free-range turkey and other organic trimmings for your holiday dinner. If you can't get friends and family to be fragrance-free, eat it yourself.


6.) If you choose to drink wine or champagne, get the kind without the sulfites and uses organic grapes. I know someone who makes their own wine from all kinds of berries. It's pretty potent. Or drink Sparkling Cider. You can even find sugar-free Sparkling Cider. Or make your own.


7.) Don't eat junky foods like cookies, cakes, pies, divinity, candy canes, fudge, peppermint milkshakes, eggnog mocha lattes. Yeah, I know. Easier said than done. Stuff the stockings with nuts, fruits, and paperback books. If you can tolerate the smell of essential oils, use peppermint oil to scent your house.


8.) If you order and buy Christmas music CDs, be aware they might come scented. Instead download music or listen to radio stations that specialize in Christmas music. We have one in my area that starts playing Christmas music the day after Thanksgiving and doesn't stop until the day after Christmas. What a variety of music there is! Traditional, country, rock, hiphop, jazz, children's, religious, movie and television show soundtracks, medieval Gregorian chants....


9.) Use electric candles instead of those normally made from paraffin or beeswax that can negatively affect your air quality. Cough...cough...choke.


10.) Create your own traditions for the holidays that are scent-free and non-toxic. I start playing Christmas music on Thanksgiving and don't stop until Christmas day. I also watch the movie White Christmas with Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye on Thanksgiving Day every year. I think I've been watching this every year since I was eight years old. It never fails to bring in the holiday spirit!

Be happy. Have fun. Stay safe. Feel grateful.

 

Happy Holidays!