Montana: Bozeman

I'm really excited to get back to Montana! Unfortunately the first thing I noticed crossing the state line, the highways here are not great! Both South Dakota and North Dakota had outstanding roads. Even the backroads where often paved or at least graded to be smooth. The interstate was bumpy with holes, but the speed limit is 80 mph!!

I tried in vain to find a health food store or any store with gluten-free and organic food on the eastern area of Montana. Most I could find online were no longer in business. I'm out of food after camping in one place out in the boonies, so I headed west. As soon as one gets close to Billings the landscape changes from desolate prairie to green grass and pine trees. I love this! 

I decided not to rush to Billings and started searching for free camping. There are many sites along the Yellowstone River. I opted for Captain Clark Fishing Access Site just west of Custer and east of Billings. At dusk I watched otters playing in the water. Around the same time the clouds rolled in and incredibly violent winds started blowing. This cooled the hot, muggy air and I moved from underneath trees to out in the open. I don't want branches falling on my solars!!

The next morning I headed for Billings, spending most of the day shopping for supplies. I stopped in at Camping World and found out they have free electrical hook-ups to charge generators, batteries, or in my case my Bluetti who's power is once again down to nothing. I visited health stores, grocery stores, and one gluten-free bakery.

I headed to Bozeman and searched the area preparing to work remotely. Bozeman has several health food stores, several Starbucks, one gorgeous library and one spectacular food co-op! If it wasn't for the pouring rain, I would love this city. 

Later in the afternoon (I try to find a camping/parking spot sometime between 3pm and 4pm), I went searching Campendium for my overnight location. One of the most enjoyable (although often stressful) aspects of this lifestyle is searching for the campsite location. It's like a treasure hunt to find the route, follow the map, and find what always seems to be a secret spot. My constant worry is the location will be filled and I'd be turned away forced to find another location, but it's still early in the season so that hasn't happened. Usually I'm the only one there! This time, however, the route into the hills is still closed for winter. I really wish someone would update Campendium to let us know. It does open on May 16th which is only two days away. There were no "no camping" signs and instead "no campfires" which indicated camping is welcomed so I just parked and stayed overnight at the trailhead parking lot right next to a raging creek. I hope once the route is opened, it's not too flooded. It's only supposed to rain for a couple more days. It poured and pounded all night with continual rain for days.

Bozeman Library is amazing! It's huge with many tables to sit at, study rooms to reserve, and a instructional kitchen where they have cooking classes. Outside the library is right next to a park and a cemetery so lots of opportunities to walk. I reserved a study room each day for two hours in an attempt to get my work done. After two hours, I sat at a table or desk. Anything to stay out of the rain and keep warm!

Bozeman also has a Swim Center. Here is a chance to get a shower and maybe some exercise! I went to the water fitness class. It cost $4 for non-residents. The shower was fabulous although not private, no curtains or separate stalls, much like junior high PE class. The chlorine wasn't too strong, but the pool water was so cold! With my inability to regulate body temperature, I am really intolerant of being cold (it's still raining) and dipping into cold water was a nightmare. I got out right away and took another warm shower.

Now for the event that has changed my life...I'm walking down Main Street checking out downtown Bozeman and this man comes out of a restaurant and starts walking toward me. He's carrying what looks like take-out. He's quite striking which makes me pay attention, sandy blonde hair peppered with gray, and tall. OMG! Is that Brad Pitt? He doesn't make eye contact with me and after he passes, I turn to watch him. He rounds the corner. OMG! I notice the restaurant and low and behold it's t(Ihe gluten-free Brazilian restaurant that is on my list to try. I had no idea where it was. What a coincidence! I had lunch at Five on Black and it was great. I've had a great time telling all my friends I saw Brad Pitt. Later I looked online and sure enough Brad lives in Montana, but I couldn't find where. Many friends say I should go into the restaurant and ask if Brad eats there, but I don't trust locals would divulge personal information about him and I'd feel stupid acting like an obsessed fan girl. Besides, I like thinking I saw Brad Pitt!

I didn't take a lot of photos of Bozeman, unfortunately. It was pouring rain most of the time.

My SFF

I used to shop all the time. Pre-chemical sensitivity I spent so much money at Nordstrom I'm surprised I don't own a stock majority. In an attempt to maintain my shopping habit, I even wrote Nordstrom letters about their stinky salespeople and smelly store. I once suggested moving the perfume counters to the top floor with state-of-the-art ventilation going out the ceiling. If 15% of the population are seriously fragrance-free, then that's 15% of the population who cannot shop at their store. You'd think they'd care. You would also think with a hundred or so employees working at one store they would at least restrict the amount of perfumes and colognes worn by the staff so the store doesn't smell like such a toxic waste dump. But they don't, so I don't...shop there.

Until today! This was the first time walking into a Nordstrom in ten years. I normally shop at cleaner smelling stores that have a variety of merchandise besides clothing and perfume. These stores can still be problematic, but for the most part there isn't a salesperson standing at every corner wanting to spray you with poison. Still, I can't find clothes that fit at these other stores and even if I do, everything is made in China. I'm also looking for a raincoat. Mine is fifteen years old and looks it, but try finding a raincoat not made in China. Grrrrrr.... So as a holiday reward after working for two months without a day off, I thought I'd go on a risk-taking adventure to Nordstrom.

Within ten minutes inside the door, my head started spinning, but the stench wasn't too bad.  I knew it would be the worst on the ground floor where the perfume counters were located so I headed upstairs immediately. I chose to go in the morning when it's fairly quiet with less people and less staff.


In one of the departments a incredibly perky young girl approached and asked if I need help. I immediately asked if she was wearing perfume. She stuttered a little, her perpetual smile quivered briefly, and said with squeaky cheerfulness, "Ah, no, but I do have lotion on." I assure you, I don't want her smelly lotion on the clothes I might buy so I asked her if there was anyone on the floor who was fragrance-free. I was hopeful, but realistic. I doubt it. My plan was to ask every salesperson I encountered. Eventually they would get the message they won't get a commission off me unless they are fragrance-free. My new mantra. And it rhymes!


Another young saleswoman approached me and asked if I needed help. If you understand the Nordstrom's sales process you know the key is to claim a salesperson as soon as possible to avoid being asked this question every five minutes. Thank you, someone is already helping me does the trick. Stealing another sales associate's customers will get you fired. Again with no expectation, I asked this girl if she was fragrance-free. YES! YES! SHE WAS! I almost hugged her! She told me when she was working at another Nordstrom location in a downtown area she had quite a few customers who were chemically sensitive. Hooray! I told her she was my salesperson of choice. My Salesgirl Fragrance Free. SFF.

I then explained I have a limited amount of time before all the stench would gang up on me and my tolerance would expire so we'd have to work fast. My preferences were natural fabrics, nothing made in China, preferably made in America, pants that fit and I was only going in the dressing room once. Go!

Nearly everything was made in China. I was disappointed. If I wanted Chinese manufactured clothing I'd shop at any number of cheap stores that aren't so smelly. This is Nordstrom. I expected a better class of clothing especially since the price is marked up 200% or more. You really had to search for the few items that were American-made and my time was limited.

My SFF found me jeans. Who invented stretchy jeans!? Good gracious I have been missing out all these years! And made in America!

We kept moving swiftly through the racks, my SFF and I, like a well-rehearsed team, reading tags, flipping hangers, murmuring hmmm and growling China.

Then SFF found me a raincoat! Bright red and not made in China. Not made in America either, but I don't know if it's possible to find an American-made raincoat. I've been looking for years. My SFF is wonderful.


SFF snagged me a dressing room in the lingerie department. She said that department has the least amount of salespeople and not as busy. She selected a room way at the end of the hall so smelly people wouldn't be constantly walking by. I love my SFF! As I tried clothes on, she brought me in more. Most of them were ugly, but that's how SFF was learning what I liked and didn't like.

Feeling quite satisfied, accomplished, and brave with a minimal amount of coughing, I decided drool over shoes. Unfortunately, shoes are downstairs right next to the perfumes. My SFF volunteered to go with me to help. Cha-ching. She was counting her commission. Smart SFF. Having once been a Nordstrom employee myself, I knew she couldn't help me in shoe department because it takes special training and knowledge to find merchandise in the stockroom. It's a jungle back there. And the shoe salespeople are very possessive. You don't wander out of your department and into the shoe department unless you had a death wish. SFF was a little nervous so I guessed she was new, but not totally oblivious to the rules. I spied some cool boots and asked my SFF about them. As we were discussing the pros and cons of style, a shoe salesperson approached me, glared at my SFF, and asked if I needed help. SFF looked frightened. I asked the woman, "Are you wearing perfume?" She squinted her eyes at me, defiantly placed one hand on her hip, and replied, "Yes."

I replied, "No, thank you." I turned to my SFF and said I would probably need to go to another store for shoes where people aren't wearing perfume.

Sarcastic shoe saleslady said with a smug sneer, "But it's Brad Pitt's favorite perfume!"

Is she serious? WHO CARES? Who would ever care what kind of perfume the Pitt would like? Is that really why she bought it? Does she think Brad Pitt will walk into this Nordstrom, give up his very fertile girlfriend who looks like a starving mannequin (that's "dummy" in French) and their twenty kids and run away with her because she was wearing his favorite stink?

 

My annoyed alter ego took over. I replied with a look that matched if not exceeded her sneer, "Brad Pitt is an idiot." Yeah, I know that was unnecessarily mean, but it had been at least a half hour or more smelling toxic air and my brain was feeling irritable. When being poisoned, the MCSer can't possibly be responsible for rude comments.

 

Too smelly to stay, SFF and I quickly relocated to the less toxic upstairs lingerie department where she rang up my purchases. She suggested I call her anytime and she would mail me merchandise with free shipping. So nice of her, but I told her I've tried that before and Nordstrom's merchandise is scented so I'd rather not. As I departed, I yelled back at her loud enough for everyone to hear, "And again, thank you so much for not wearing perfume or scented lotion. I so appreciate it." All the other salesgirls hung their heads in shame.

Well, I learned Nordstroms hasn't changed. They still stink. But I now possess a pair of stretchy, girdle-tight jeans and a new raincoat...and a non-stop cough and headache. Prior to my self-imposed exile, I would have run gasping from the store unable to breath and sick for a week. I'm not sure if the exile, my much healthier diet, or the lack of exposure has improved my reaction time and symptoms, but I'm glad I survived. It was worth it.

Now how do I unscent these extremely stinky purchases?

Merry Christmas to me!

Coffee and Caffeine Addictions: Brad Pitt is a Coke Head

Recently I read Brad Pitt gets his six kids out of bed by tempting them with Coke. I was really disappointed. For some reason I thought if you are willing to have six kids, most of them adopted, be constantly in the spotlight with your parenting skills being scrutinized daily by the media, you'd at least TRY be a good parent. Or TRY not to brag about your stupidity to the press. He struck me as smarter than the average air-head actor. I am blinded by his beauty, I guess. There really needs to be licensing requirements to have kids. He drugs his kids to get them moving. I wonder how they will function as they get older? I know this type of parenting stupidity is normal with people feeding their children all kinds of sugar/caffeine junk food in the morning, but I question what kinds of health issues develop if one starts drinking caffeine as a child? Is Coke a childhood precursor to Mountain Dew? Mountain Dew to coffee? Coffee to Five Hour Energy? When does the addiction escalation end?

I've been lucky. My mother didn't allow her children caffeinated drinks. She clearly recognized caffeine-induced hyperactivity could be a health issue for tiny, developing bodies. THANK YOU, MOM! She, on the other hand, was a coffee fiend. Non-stop drinking. I was about seven years old when I begged her for a taste. I assumed it must be wonderful since she drank it all the time. And it was forbidden. I had to have just one sip.  Icky, icky, icky! "Why, mom, why?"  I was told it's an acquired taste. Not for me.  I've never drank even one cup in my life and have even spit out desserts made with coffee. Yes, I've been very lucky! As bad as chocolate and diet soft drinks have been for me, I can't imagine what a coffee addiction would do to my system.

I've given my caffeine theory to many a coffee drinker. It's like asking heroin addicts to give up heroin. I've had people nearly run me over while I'm walking trying to get to the nearest espresso stand. How many of you have seen coffee fights on the freeway? People jacked up on caffeine are a danger to society. Is it any wonder we have a depression epidemic in this country with a Starbucks on nearly every corner? And a coffee addict who needs a fix? You've seen them nervous, shaking, and pacing like a caged animal ready to bite off your head. Anyone who tells me they can't function throughout the day without coffee, is clearly in need of intervention. It's worse than a chocolate addiction.

Caffeine is also secretly hidden in some health supplements and pain relievers. Energy is a sneaky little sales gimmick.

Were you allowed to drink coffee as a child? Soft drinks?

Why did you start drinking caffeine?

Do you think caffeine affects your health?

How would your life change if you gave it up?