Moments of Joy

I recently had a debate with a friend on life and our expectations of happiness. I told her I didn't believe it was realistic to expect a life of happiness. Good things happen and bad things happen. It's a roller coaster ride of ups and downs. It's the bad experiences that give balance and help us appreciate our good experiences. All we can hope for is a life of overall contentment as we negotiate the ride. However, MCS is on a whole other level and to mitigate the negativity of this ongoing experience, I search and revel in moments of joy no matter how small or mundane. Sometimes this is a challenge, but I persist. Every day.

I was thinking about this today as I did a basic household repair. One of my wall heaters started blowing cold air. This is not good on a 30 degree morning when all outdoor surfaces are thick with ice. Four years ago another wall heater refused to work. I called the local furniture store for advice. The heater was only a few years old. The woman on the phone said she'd ask her repair guy and get back with me. I waited. A week later I figured they forgot so I headed to the nearest hardware store and bought a new heater. I installed it myself rather than hiring electricians at $80 hour, because I'm just that kind of woman (cheap). But I hung on to the old heater in case the repair guy would contact me.

He did! A few days later he told me it could be dust clogging the electrical points causing it to just not turn on. Hmmm...if this is the case, it would be a horrible waste of money to throw it out so I cleaned it the best I could, put it in a box, and stored it in the back of my closet until the next heater dies.

Here it is 2022, four years later. I dug the box out of the back of the closet, cleaned the heater with an electronic duster which released a whole litter of giant dust bunnies I must have missed with the first cleaning, electrified it, crossed my fingers, and turned it on. IT WORKS! OMG! I almost threw this old heater away not understanding it was just taking a little rest. Such a joyful feeling to not only save money, but be self-reliant.

Another moment of joy this month...2022 is starting out very joyous! This is a good sign. 

I sent one of my handmade, collage Christmas cards to Girl Alive in Malaysia. This was a risk. We both knew it. With the pandemic, international mail has been problematic at best, but I felt risky. The woman at the post office did some odd things that should have given me pause, but I ventured forth and sent it anyway. This was in November over a month before Christmas. It never arrived for Christmas. I was disappointed, and reprimanded myself for being so risky, but oh well, if it would have arrived, it might have brought my friend some Christmas joy.

January 20th...IT ARRIVED! Two months later, but IT ARRIVED! I was so shocked I accused her of lying to me just to make me feel better. LOL! (Sorry, Girl Alive!) So in January, a month kind of blah for joy, my friend received some surprised joy! I felt such overwhelming happiness for something so simple and random. So wonderful.

I love moments of joy. They make life...content.

Cadet Heaters...Round Two

So it's been almost three years since I replaced my rat-infested, formaldehyde-soaked, fiberglass-constructed furnace with electric Cadet wall heaters. I wrote a post on the effects of those brand new heaters: nausea, neck and back pain, and dizziness that lasted for about two weeks. After a frustrating two weeks, I washed the heaters' innards with vinegar and that seemed to do the trick. I haven't had a problem since and they gloriously heated my house very efficiently and relatively safely. I dust them every few months and don't put anything flammable in front of them so my house hasn't burned to the ground. My electric bills were much lower than when the furnace was running, even when it was brand new.

The Cadets have a two-year warranty although many have told me they last much longer. Perhaps others are using them only every now and then, to heat a bathroom or other small space. My three heaters are running about twelve hours a day and sometimes all night if temperatures hit freezing levels or under 25 degrees. Kitchen, living room, and office all winter long. I never use heaters in the spring, summer, and most of the fall when the temperatures are tolerable.

The Cadet in the kitchen stopped blowing heat. It still blows so I know it's not the motor or fan perhaps just the heating element. I thought for sure the cheap, plastic fan would be the first thing to break, but I guess not. This is the only heater attached to a separate temperature control knob. I don't know if that would have anything to do with it going out sooner than the other two. I called a few places then talked to a few more hardware store employees and they all said replacing just a part would cost as much as a new heater. So I bought a new heater. Very easy to install. Before installing I wiped the surfaces down the best I could before flipping it on.

BLAH. Immediately I could smell it. My head started spinning, my stomach lurching, and my spine tightening like an over stretched rubber band. I quickly sealed off the kitchen, brought in the fans, opened the kitchen window, and let the heater air itself out.

The discomfort only lasted for about an hour then I was able to remove the fans and close the window. I think washing down with vinegar is the secret. Even with the toxic offgassing these electric wall heaters are better than the furnace and far less expensive than that $5,000 split duct heatless piece of garbage salesmen were trying to sell me. We'll see if the other two heaters kick the bucket.

Cadet Heater Poisoning (Update)

I was so excited for my new Cadet Heaters, unfortunately I celebrated too soon. Remember this illustration I did last year in conjunction with the nausea and respiratory inflammation I experienced after turning on the toxic furnace? Well, there is a reason I've dug it out of the archives. It will serve to illustrate my current reactions to the Cadet Heaters.

It actually feels worse than it looks...

In September I turned the cadets on maybe twice for about ten minutes each time. It didn't take long to heat the house and since it was still fairly warm outside, I didn't see any reason to keep them on.

Later when autumn temperatures dropped, I kept them on. Within thirty minutes my sinuses, ears and glands started burning, and one hour later, my whole respiratory system from my nose to my lungs burned painfully, then dizziness and nausea followed by severe neck and spinal pain. Misery. I turned all the heaters off and aired the rooms.

Something in the heaters are offgassing. I'm not happy about this and this is my fault for not holding my ground and getting the heaters I wanted. I settled for the crappy, cheap heaters with too many plastic parts. Yeah, I can holler at myself for the rest of my life, but any new appliance is going to offgas and there is no guarantee the more expensive models would not have been problematic, although their innards are metal and not cheap PLASTIC. And who knows what kinds of sealants or treatments they use on the materials.

I drug all the fans and air purifiers out of closets and turned them on, opened all the windows in my house and within fifteen minutes, my body started clearing. I went to bed with all the bedroom doors upstairs shut and sealed, every window in the house open, and I left the heat on for about two hours. Such a waste of energy with all the windows open, but I needed to do something to offgas whatever needs to be offgassed.

The next morning the air seemed clear (and cold!), but still my lungs and ears started to burn slightly with very slight bouts of nausea. Something was in the air. Not as bad as the day before so I was hopeful if I keep the heaters on eventually whatever it is that is giving me grief will heat off. Strangely enough, I couldn't smell anything odd.

I keep reminding myself living with MCS is a constant risk AND I am thankful I didn't buy the $5,000 heating model and had the same problem. I've never had a problem with cadets in the past, but I've never had to deal with new ones. The toxic stuff just needs to offgas. I am being very hopeful and positive.

 

It's now been two weeks of off and on. A few times I left them on for up to four hours and either left the house or went to bed with my bedroom sealed. Even after I air the whole house out with opened windows and fans, I was still experiencing painful neck and spine inflammation, respiratory burning, dizziness, and extreme nausea.

I contacted the company and they offer no solution but only told me I'm the only person in their sixty year history who has ever complained of this. I find that hard to believe. I just want answers so I can figure out how to remedy the problem. Instead they asked me if I've ever been chemically sensitive to anything and then proceeded to ask me every little detail about my house, because it can't possibly be their heaters causing the problems. So frustrating. Then they just disappeared and I never heard back. They get an award for lousy customer service. Still, I persevered because these heaters are new and if I can just get them to a "used" state whatever is making me sick will burn itself out. I HOPE!

I waited another four days for my body to detox and clear the poison. I attempted to wash the plastic innards down with vinegar. I turned them back on again. It's such a risk each time. This time I sealed off individual rooms and tested only one heater at a time. I'm only experiencing slight throat dryness and some shoulder tension now. It seems to be getting better. I don't know if it's the constant use or the vinegar that helped, but I have hope!

Winter Preparations

Determined not to freeze to death like I did last year, I have spent most of this year planning for this winter's cold weather. First step on my list was to remove the old, fiberglass heating ducts as well as the Freon-filled heater and air conditioner that has made me sick for the last eight winters. It's been such a nice feeling to have the crawlspace cleared of all those toxic materials.

Next I had cadet heaters installed in the living room, kitchen, bathroom, and office. I already had two cadet heaters in the bedrooms upstairs, so that's a total of SIX! Although it's not nearly close to freezing outside, we've had a few mornings when the temperatures dipped a little low and I could hardly wait to try them out. Within minutes the rooms were toasty. This is a huge difference as the old, creepy heating system would take at least an hour to warm up the house before I would feel a difference. I have lots of hope for a toasty winter! It'll be interesting to see what happens with my electric bill. With heat this efficient, I have high (unrealistic) hopes heating costs will be lower than they've ever been.


The next step in the plan was to buy warm, comfortable, organic bedding. I was tired of cheap, formaldehyde-soaked sheets so I splurged and bought organic jersey sheets. Although they arrived with silicon gel packs to prevent mildew in transportation and storage, after six washings they now smell fine and they are soft and so very comfortable.

The final step in the plan was to purchase an organic, wool-stuffed comforter. This has been a dream of mine for many years, but cost prohibitive. Last winter when it got really cold, I used my old polyester sleeping bag on top all my blankets, comforter, and sheets for warmth. So I headed back to Holy Lamb Organics to find out about discounted merchandise.

I love this company. It's located in an old, remodeled turn-of-the-century grocery store and all the original wood counters, shelves and hardwood floors are still there. There is a sign on the door stating it is a fragrance-free facility and asking people to refrain from the stink. My kind of business!

They make their comforter shells from organic cotton and they had fabric with flaws offered at a discount. I informed the salesperson of my concerns with packing chemicals and my not-so-good experience with the organic sheets from one of their suppliers. In order to alleviate my worries, she actually went into their stockroom, retrieved a queen-sized comforter shell and let me smell it. When I deemed it safe by exclaiming it smells natural, like a plant (cotton!?), she put my name on it.

Then I had a choice between thin, medium or thick wool filling. She asked if I slept hot or cold. I said, "Oh, God...Have you ever had a hot flash?" I told her I used to sleep cold, but that's not a guarantee. Last winter I fantasized about the thickest comforter possible, but now during a hot summer day, I waffled. I ended up ordering the medium thickness as I was worried the thicker comforter would never fit in any washing machine, let alone mine.

They HAND SEW these comforters together. I wish I would have taken photos of the tables with the fabric pieces. I watched one comforter-maker climb inside the shell to strategically place the wool batting. There was something very organic watching people hand-create something. The downside to hand-made, organic items is they don't come cheap. I kept chanting to myself, This WILL add joy to my life!!!  An organic, wool-filled, hand-made comforter is definitely a luxurious item.

While shopping online I found most of the organic, wool comforters needed to be dry cleaned. Eeeww! I have seen dry cleaners who advertise they are "organic", but I don't know what that means. Holy Lamb Organic comforters may be washed, but they give specific directions on HOW to wash them and make no guarantees. Their ultimate advice is to cover them with a duvet and avoid washing them if possible.



 

It's definitely beautiful, soft and fluffy. One thing I didn't expect is it smells like WOOL, a oily, sheep-y smell. I only smelled the shell before ordering, not the insides. It smells like the vitamin D capsules I used to use for moisturizer before the side effects started. Lanolin has never been a problem for me, nor wool, so I assumed the glycerin in the capsules were the cause of my discomfort.  I intend to cover the comforter with a cotton, flannel duvet so I'm hoping it'll seal it. Or maybe with time it'll offgas. With MCS, there is always a risk with trying out new products. It could be a very expensive, money-wasting experiment OR it could be incredibly joyous. Right now I am very hopeful!

UPDATES:  Good lord, this comforter is the best purchase I've made in a long, long time! I placed a duvet cover over it and that could be why I haven't smelled the wool. The wool is amazingly heat regulating. I love it!

I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL WINTER!

Office Heater!

I got heat!!!!

Heater boys came today to install cadet wall heaters in my house. They arrived right on time which is shocking and amazing. They were pleasant, personable, and patient as I asked them one hundred questions and reviewed every torment I've experienced in the last year as I was shopping for heat.

Both of them have ductless heat pump heaters in their homes and both almost talked me out of the cadet wall heaters as they spend most of their time REMOVING cadets so the people can replace them with ductless. Great. This is what I don't need at the last minute. So I asked the same questions I've asked many others for months: If ductless is so great, why don't they heat the whole house? Why is it my neighbor paid $5,000 and STILL has sheets hanging to close off the rooms so she can get one room warm enough for comfort. Their only explanation was that maybe some old houses don't have good insulation so the very expensive ductless can't heat the whole house. OK. But that's not good enough. If I pay $5,000, it damn well better heat the whole house and no one can guarantee it will. No one can guarantee the fungicides they use to control the mold won't make me ill. No one can guarantee the nitrogen gas they use to pump the ductless heat pump won't make me ill. No one can guarantee anything. And then there is the issue of heater guys not showing up or giving me astronomical quotes and insinuating I'm asking too many questions. These wall heaters seem to be my only option. My only safe option.



Living Room Heater!

Then I asked about the efficiency of these cadets. Well, they aren't as efficient as a ductless (and they aren't nearly as expensive) and my heating bills will be higher. OK. How high? He tried giving me a formula for cost but he couldn't remember it exactly. I'm imagining bills as high as $400 -500 a month. So I said, "My two neighbors use cadets and Eden Pure heaters and their monthly bill at the peak of winter is only $200." He says, "Oh, no, it won't be as high as $200." OK. Good enough for me. I'm sold.

Of course, they only have the cheaper models although I clearly said on numerous occasions I wanted the more expensive and hopefully more durable heaters like the ones I have upstairs. Damn. I wait a year to get some heat and now I'm going to cancel it all? I probably should have, but they said they install these a lot, no one complains and these are the latest models. What the hell. He looks at the ones I have upstairs and tells me they are the same wattage. My impatience always gets me in trouble and it all makes me tired which makes me compliant. He offered to install only one to see how I like it first, but in a flash I visualized these guys never coming back and me freezing my ass off and my pipes freezing. No. I've pondered and tormented myself for a year on this. I've read consumer reports and online comments. These heaters are fine. Just do it.


Kitchen Heater!

In addition to the living room heater, the office heater, and the kitchen heater, I also added a bathroom heater, new outlet, new light fixture and removed the old, ugly baseboard heater that's near the front door (the spiders use it for a hotel). Major electrical rehaul!

I feel so satisfied. Calm. Clean. Organized. Like everything is right in the world. All my major projects are done in the house. The creepy ducts, heat pump and furnace are gone. The register holes are covered and sealed. The closets are finished. It feels so right.

I have heat! Every now and then as I walk in and out of rooms, I turn one on even though it's the middle of summer. Jeez, it's hot right away so when I come in from the cold I can stand in front of it and warm up immediately. I think these will be great. If not, I guess I'll have to rethink the plan later on. For now I will swim in the goodness of it all.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR WINTER!!!! BRING ON THE FREEZE! I'LL BE SO WARM AND TOASTY IN DECEMBER!

 

 



This is what old-style construction looks like. This is what they used instead of sheetrock. Little 1 x 1/2 boards sealed together with what looks and feels (and cuts) like cement, but what was used as plaster. The electrician had to cut through two of these to get through a wall. Very interesting. This proves my house is damn near indestructible!