R.I.P. Toshiba, My Darling

Today I lovingly carried my very heavy Toshiba television set to the garbage truck, positioned myself to chuck her in, and stopped short just at the edge. I couldn't do it. I started to feel weepy.

My Toshiba television has accompanied me on my life's journey for twenty years, witnessing the highs and keeping me sane through the lows.  She spent her first years with someone else who eagerly passed her to me in order to upgrade to a higher standard of technology. I have no idea how long my friend had her, but I felt like I won the lottery as 19 inches was a whole lot bigger than 12 inches. I sold my hand-me-down 12-inch television set in a yard sale later that year.

Unfortunately after twenty plus years of use, the picture started acting strange about a year ago. The bottom half of people's bodies became stunted and out of proportion making them look like gnomes. Still I persevered. I could still see the picture so what do I care if Brad Pitt looks extra short? Then last week the unthinkable happened: the sound started going in and out. Drats. Why can't our possessions last forever? Especially if they were free?

Last December during the Christmas sales I prepared for the worst and started shopping. I purchased a Samsung flat screen. It was the very first television purchase I have ever made. (Thank you to everyone who supplied me with hand-me-downs throughout my whole adult life.)

First, it stunk of offgassing chemicals. The whole living room stunk. The stand was wobbly and the remote didn't work if my DVD player was anywhere near the TV. The motion speed was horribly nauseating. The sound didn't work unless it was turned up to the highest level and even then it was tinny. Disgusted with new technology I opted to return the newbie and settled happily on my old, but trustworthy Toshiba praying she would last forever. Fast forward to March and with no sound I knew it was over. I can tolerate gnomes starring in all movies, but not being able to hear what they are saying is a deal breaker.

March is supposedly the month one should buy televisions as it's this time of year when the new models are arriving and the stores lower the prices on the older models. Besides there are no materialistic holidays during this time and stores are doing their darnedest to tempt customers. I headed back to the store only this time I was armed with information from my past purchasing experience. Motion speed, screen size, and sound were important, but look at that price! A whopping $30.00 less than last year. I bought the more expensive model with the better features.

Happy to say not only is my new Vizio cheaper than it was last year, but it doesn't stink like the Samsung did and it actually works. Also planning ahead to tiny living AND because of EMF worries, I purchased the smaller 32 inch size. I still worry about the radiation that might be wafting through my living room, but I have not noticed any negative effects.

Hooray! I am one step further away from technological impairment.

As I looked into the garbage truck hole, I yelled at the garbage man, "This is HARD!!!" He thought I meant it was too heavy, when in fact, I felt like crying and couldn't bring myself to dump my sweet TV into that cold, dirty garbage truck and watch her shatter. He rushed to my side and helped as tears welled in my eyes. I looked away as I heard the glass hit the metal.  Although I was tempted to run back to my house and cry in my pillow, I decided I needed to look. I needed the closure as if I were at an open-casket funeral. She laid there amidst the garbage, her screen staring at me accusingly. Well...not really, but I still felt sad.

R.I.P. Toshiba TV. Thank you for years of entertainment and joy.

TV Marathons

In addition to movies, I watch a lot of television in my self-imposed exile from society. I never used to watch TV at all so when I first moved to the middle of no where, I discovered a whole new form of entertainment and proceeded to catch up on years of missed couch-potatoing. Getting whole series out of the library with no commercials has spoiled me and for a while, Hulu was showing many of them for free. Before videos were invented, one had to watch one episode every week and wait patiently for the plot to continue the next week. Now we can binge-watch one episode after another for hours at a time! Hooray for TV MARATHONS!

There are too many shows to include all so I'm selecting only those I would recommend. Most are from cable networks like HBO or Showtime so often the quality is outstanding. I don't last more than one episode with bad television. One hour of wasted time is enough for me. Often networks cancel bad shows after a few episodes although some lousy shows manage to stay on the air for years. One of life's mysteries. I tend to like human nature dramas especially historical fiction. I'm not very tolerant of most stupid comedies, I never watch cartoons, and I have an aversion to cop shows or lawyer shows unless there is some kind of twist that makes them interesting. I also avoid older television series as the video quality tries my patience and the storylines are dated. My tastes might not be the same as yours, but maybe there will be a title or two from my list you might enjoy.

For any series I suggest to start at the beginning. I love pilots. I enjoy seeing how they set the plot, develop the characters, and sell the idea in less than an hour. If the show is good, the first season is usually the best. Sometimes the second season is better, but not usually. Some shows maintain their quality throughout their whole run and are consistently worth the watch especially those on the cable networks. Others fall apart after the second season as the storylines get boring or too complex.

Here is my list of recommended television shows:

Being Erica (2009-2011) who is a 30-something not quite satisfied with life and she starts seeing a therapist. His special skill is he can send her back in time to redo something she regrets. You know, if I could find a counselor who could do that it would be worth the money! It makes one think about the past, what you would change if you could, and how it might have affected the rest of your life. Also, it makes you wonder about your current choices and how they will change your life. The lead actress is excellent.

Breaking Bad (2008-2013) is about a high school chemistry teacher who is poor, of course. His wife is pregnant, his son has special needs, and he finds out he has cancer. He needs money. Badly. He runs into one of his ex-students who flunked his class because he was constantly stoned or skipping, and they start their own meth lab. The series is very dark, depressing, and violent. At one point I stopped watching. Some of the scenes really stick with you forever and not in a good way. It's difficult to imagine there are drug dealers out there who live like that in real life. However, it also has great storylines and outstanding actors. I loved the secrecy and how this sweet, mild-mannered teacher had to totally reinvent himself and do really horrible things totally out of character. As a former teacher I loved the constant too bad you didn't pay attention in class or you'd know this messages. LOL.

Californication (2007-2014) Hank Moody, played by David Duchovny, is a celebrated Hemingway-type author living in Los Angeles amidst too much alcohol, drugs and sex.  It's like a modern remake of the 1970s movie Shampoo where the main character is too cute for his own good, slightly crazy, gets into all kinds of situations, yet is so good-natured and blase about everything he just floats along laughing at how ridiculous life is. I love his best-friend/agent who is as insane and their bro-mance is adorable. The characters are outstanding, storylines creative, and the writing excellent. LOL hilarious at times with memorable scenes and noteworthy lines. Lots of sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll with an underlying "who gives a shit, life is short" theme. Excellent profile of Los Angeles and all the sleaze it has to offer.

Dead Like Me (2003-2004) features a young woman, George who after high school has no direction, no ambition. She is living at home and has a strained relationship with her mother who forces her to get a job as a low-paying, entry-level office grunt. She has a bad attitude. Her first day on the job she goes outside for lunch and is killed by a flying toilet seat that fell off a space shuttle. She is recruited by the local grim reaper (Mandy Patinkin) to join a team of other grim reapers. It's their job to snatch up the souls of those about to die so they can continue to the afterlife. Each episode the grim reapers are given their assignments. If the toilet seat death wasn't clear, it's a comedy. About death. Along with some very poignant moments of grief and loss, there is a humor that blankets each episode providing a wonderful emotional dichotomy. I suppose a lot of people wouldn't enjoy humor about death and that could be why it only lasted two seasons. I loved it. The first episode is heart-wrenching when she gets her first assignment and she learns how important it is to follow the rules.

Deadwood (2004-2006) is a western. I love anything historical, but this isn't the typical western we have all come to know and love from our childhoods with good guys and bad guys, damsels in distress and white horses. It's the real thing focusing on life in the mining town of Deadwood, South Dakota during the 1800s. Characters include both fictional people and real Wild West celebrities such as Wild Bill Hickok and Calamity Jane with guest appearances by Wyatt Earp and other famous gun slingers. The sets are AMAZING and incredibly realistic. Knee-deep in mud. No white horses for miles. The characters and plot lines are outstanding, and Timothy Olyphant as Seth Bullock, the sheriff, is delicious. The script is written in a 19th-century verse which is beautiful, but they pepper it with an excessive amount of nasty words. It took some getting used to even for me. It only lasted two seasons and when it was over, I went through horrible withdrawals. It was voted by critics as a series that was canceled way too soon. I agree.

Desperate Housewives (2004-2012) I always wondered what all the hoopla was about with this show and curiosity (and boredom) got the best of me. Of course, it's narrated by a dead woman. Right up my alley. I've never been tolerable of nighttime soap operas, but this was entertaining with great characters and interesting storylines.

Dexter (2006-2013) Dexter is a blood spatter expert in the forensics department of Miami homicide. He's really smart, incredibly geeky in a boy-next-door kind of way, and psychopathic. He ritualistically murders bad people who the police department can't bring to justice so you root for him even though he's a serial killer. I love it he always takes the time to explain to his victims why he is about to kill them, displaying 8 x 10 glossies of their victims so there is no misunderstanding. They deserve it. For all his lack of emotion, he clearly feels something even if it's just vigilante vengeance. He narrates the episodes and thinks to himself with lots of philosophical opinions on life and human nature. He has a really dry, sarcastic sense of humor that is priceless. Outstanding writing and very intelligent. Never a dull moment.

Doc Martin (2004-now) A small, coastal, British village gets a much needed new doctor. He's a city surgeon with really horrid bedside manner which is incredibly entertaining. He has absolutely no patience with stupid people and seems a bit autistic, unable to comprehend emotion or convey empathy. It's delightful, with a great cast of characters and wonderful scenery. Can I move there?

Downton Abbey (2010-now) This series is about the life of British nobility and their servants beginning just before World War I when the Titanic sinks. Love the history and the realism. Outstanding storylines, characters, costumes, and settings.  Superb in every way.

Finding Carter (2014-now) Carter, a teenage girl, is arrested at a party and through DNA testing it is discovered she was kidnapped as toddler. She is reunited with her biological parents and siblings while the woman she misses and considers her mother is in hiding from the police. It's good. Unfortunately, I lost interest after one season, but I think it's because I had to remember to find it on the network site one week after it aired and I kept forgetting. Then it disappeared for a couple weeks. I guess it just wasn't that memorable, but a great story.

Forever (2014-now) is about a doctor/medical examiner who is immortal and comes back to life every time he dies. He's been dying off and on for 200 years, constantly reinventing himself so as not to be discovered. His experience with death makes him very knowledgeable and his brain is an encyclopedia of historical facts mostly because he's lived them. He's rather cute, charming, and has a comic Sherlock Holmes style reminiscent of the game Clue. I think he should die more often as he can go weeks without dying. Great storylines even for a police show. Here is the season one trailer:

Foyle's War (2002-2015) Foyle is a police officer/detective in Britain during World War II. Excellent storylines, outstanding characters, wonderful acting and realistic backdrop of wartime survival in a small British village. I love history. This one is very realistic and well-done.

Game of Thrones (2011-now) Based on the best selling novel series by the same name, it's a medieval fantasy about the competition for power. It has hundreds of amazing characters and even dragons! I really like the wolves for pets. Lots of blood, intrigue, strong female characters and beautiful sets/scenery. It follows the books almost exactly with a few departures. Outstanding everything and very addicting.

The Good Wife (2009-now) I avoided this show for a long time due to my aversion to lawyer movies. After a while I got curious. It has great characters and storylines.

Gracepoint (2014) This was a one season detective drama based on the murder of a boy in a small town. It was borrowed from the British show Broadchurch which was exactly the same plot and even shared the same starring actor. I liked the American version better and they changed the ending slightly making it more complex. Excellent actors, beautiful scenery, great story, outstanding who-done-it, and I'm not much of a mystery fan. I do wonder if they'll somehow figure out how to bring it back for a second season.

Grimm (2011-now) is a really creative, fantasy cop-show with a twist (my requirement). It is based on Grimm's Fairytales. Portland, Oregon is perceived as the center for everything strange and subversive - the perfect setting for monsters. There is a whole other species of creatures living among humans called Vessen. They can morph between appearing human or as their own species. Grimms are people who throughout history have made it their mission to kill them. Nick is a detective with Portland homicide who discovers much to his surprise he's a Grimm and he is given his aunt's trailer filled with journals, historical accounts, and weaponry used to kill these creatures. He's definitely got some superpowers. He discovers early on not all Vessen are evil and as a Grimm and a police officer, he uses his knowledge to find bad Vessen and bring them to justice. The special effects are awesome. After watching the pilot I determined it was too scary for me and I stopped watching. A year later I watched again, for lack of better television viewing choices and was hooked. The trailer for the first season:

Hung (2009-2011) The storyline features a recently divorced, high school teacher living in a lake cabin for lack of another option. The cabin burns down, he has no money, no way to fix the house, and owes money to everyone especially his ex-wife. Teachers are poor anyway, but divorced ones are really in dire need. At one point his ex-wife who was also his high school sweetheart tells him he's a failure at everything, and the only thing he ever had going for him was the size of his male appendage. He meets a quirky woman who is also trying to find a job and together they decide to go into prostitution. With her lack of business skills as a pimp and his lack of hooker experience, they negotiate the underworld of the sex industry with much amusement. As a former teacher, I found this fun. Teachers are always expected to be perfect role models. Yeah, right.

Jane the Virgin (2014-now) is a comedy based on Mexican soap operas (telenovelas). It's about a young Catholic-Mexican-American woman who plans to be a virgin until she is married. At a routine medical examination, she is artificially inseminated by accident! Makes one trust doctors even less! The whole plot pokes fun at soap opera surrealism with every kind of character one can imagine: rich people, drug cartels, nuns, movie stars.... It's fun. Although I have little patience with comedies and lose interest easily, this one is really cute. For now. We are in the middle of the first season.

Jericho (2006-2008) This is a post-apocalyptic story about the terrorist bombings and annihilation of twenty-five American cities and the aftermath of a small town. The first season is at times overly sentimental and the dramatic scenes are unnecessarily long which gives one ample time for bathroom breaks without pausing the DVD player. It was cancelled and fans brought it back for a short seven episode second season that needed to tie everything together and end the story. Second season didn't "tread water" as one of the producers described so it was much better, faster paced. The main character was very charming and likable, but I kept waiting for his superpowers to kick in. Still, it was a good story, the characters were great, and I like survival themes based on human nature. Once they add political corruption or sci-fi to the mix, I lose interest. I'm guessing it's the same for most as these shows often get cancelled when they get too conspiracy-driven and complex.

Justified (2010-2015) After my Deadwood marathon and subsequent withdrawals, I went looking for something to satisfy my need for a Timothy Olyphant fix. Raylan Givens (Olyphant) is a U.S. marshal in Florida who doesn't follow the rules so he is transferred back to his hometown in the Kentucky Appalachian mountains to wrangle the bad-ass hillbillies-turned-drug traffickers who were his childhood friends and family. He does have superpowers! Besides his sexy, slow Kentucky drawl (definitely a superpower!), he has Wild West gun slinging skills and he can shoot them all dead before they even draw their guns! His ex-best friend and nemesis, Boyd Crowder, is the hillbilly ring leader with a knack for "articulation" and blowing things up. The first couple episodes he's always yelling FIRE IN THE HOLE! LOL. Even when they are about to kill someone, they show really good manners. Love the show and Raylan Givens makes me swoon. This video features the bad guy Boyd Crowder with glimpses Raylan Givens the marshall:

Kyle XY (2006-2009) A teenage boy is found in the woods, naked. He can't speak nor does he understand anything around him. Law enforcement and child protective services have no idea who he is or from where he came. While they try to figure it out, he is placed with the family of a counselor as a foster child. He learns things at the speed of light and has superhuman abilities he doesn't understand. I always enjoy an element of superhero-ness! Although it is an ABC teen/family show, the whole first season is fascinating because you have no idea who or what he is. What is especially intriguing is the ongoing commentary on his humanity, how he learns by example and adjusts to his environment making sense of our weird human quirks. It only lasted for three seasons. I think because they got away from the human aspect and delve recklessly into sci-fi which can get tedious and unbelievable. The star, Matt Dallas, is adorable.

Lost (2004-2010) I really loved this show from the beginning to almost the end. A plane crashes on a remote island and the survivors soon discover the island is very...strange. The series boasts one of the largest casts in the history of television and is filmed in Hawaii. The first few seasons were spectacular. I thought the last season was very weird. It was like the writers weren't quite sure how to end it. I kind of had an idea what was going on and what the island really was so I wasn't too surprised, but getting to the point was confusing and weird like the writers lost their direction and needed to kill time. Excellent characters, great scenery, and wonderful acting made it easy to become addicted. The pilot was superb. I think I watched it three times.

Mad Men (2007-2015) is an awesome recreation of the 1960s. It's about a New York City advertising agency, its employees and their families, and the weirdness of the era. One of the most memorable scenes for me (there are many) was when the main character's family was at the park picnicking and as they go to leave, they throw all their garbage in the bushes! I nearly jumped out of my seat screaming. The show's theme constantly addresses how naïve we were as a society back then and how we've changed. Our whole thought processes have been reformed including how we think about marriage, business ethics, women's rights, and the environment. Awesome characters, acting, costumes, and writing.

Merlin (2008-2012) is a British series on the early years of Merlin the magician. Instead of the typical legend of the elderly wizard, the story focuses on Merlin as a boy before Arthur becomes king. Arthur is gorgeous, entitled and spoiled. Merlin realizes it's his destiny to protect Arthur and becomes his servant. It's a little cheesy, but it has great of dragons and beautiful scenery. Kid-friendly, too, although some of the special effects might be too scary for little ones. Season one trailer:

Miranda (2009-now) is a British comedy featuring comedian Miranda Hart. It's borderline weird and stupid while poking fun at society's expectations and those who are socially inept, but the star's antics are often hilarious. Very British. The seasons and episodes are short and each new season appears on free Hulu.

Nashville (2012-now) is a nighttime soap opera drama about the country music industry in Nashville. I love the variety of characters, the storylines, and the music. I love Hayden Panettiere play the spoiled teen sensation. She's so outrageous. Excellent. I'm addicted.

Nurse Jackie (2009-2015) is an ER nurse who is a drug addict with a stressful job that she masters with brilliance while juggling her family and her demons. She definitely has nursing superpowers, but watching her try to balance everything while popping pills is like a train wreck waiting to happen. Edie Falcon is outstanding and the supporting cast excellent. I adore Merritt Wever's quirkiness. She definitely deserved her Emmy award. The writing is superb.

The 100 (2014-now) is about earth becoming uninhabitable due to an overabundance of radiation after a nuclear war and the only survivors were those on the space stations. The culture created from being cooped up on a space ship is fascinating. Any tiny infraction and the perpetrator is "floated" - death by space. Unless they are under age, then they go into juvie jail to await their eighteenth birthday and a court hearing to determine if they are capable of being model citizens. It's ruthless. After 97 years, the space stations are running out of air, so they send 100 juvenile delinquents to the ground to see if it's habitable yet. If it's not, bye-bye loser kids. I love the show. I'm addicted. Normally the writing is outstanding, but season two's finale just aired and it was absolutely horrible. Maybe it's the beginning of the end for this series? Season one trailer:

Orange is the New Black (2013-now) is about a prim and proper woman who gets mixed up with the wrong people and goes to jail for drug trafficking. The reality of a woman's prison. After its first season it was nominated for some Emmys and they couldn't figure out where to put it: drama or comedy. As I recall due to the confusion, it didn't win anything, unfortunately. It's certainly a mix of horror and comedy. I definitely don't ever want to go to prison. I couldn't imagine surviving the experience, and that is the whole plot. How does a clean-cut, normal, never a legal problem person survive in a prison full of murders, drug addicts and others who would have no problem killing you in your sleep just because you have blonde hair? Excellent storylines and performances.


Queer as Folk (British 1999-2000, American 2000-2005) is a community of gay friends dealing with the issues of sexuality: gay rights, religion, AIDS, discrimination, and family. Both series follow along the same storylines for two seasons and then the American one takes off on its own. The American series has really gorgeous men with Gayle Harold as Brian, major swoon material. I loved the characters and the storylines.

Rev (2010-now) is a British sitcom about an Anglican minister who is assigned an intercity church. The building is run down, but they have no money for repairs. There are about ten regular parishioners, most of them homeless and all of them bizarre. The vicar talks to God a lot which is usually pretty funny. The supporting characters are awesome. Mick, the drug addict is LOL hilarious! He's always showing up at the vicar's house trying to talk him into donations to charities, etc. The vicar's wife has no patience with him and he calls her "The Nasty Mrs. Vicar." I found a video for him:

Revolution (2012-2014) This is another post-apocalyptic story about the end of electricity throwing modern society into a pre-technological primitive state. Fifteen years after the destruction of civilization, the United States has been sectioned off into separate republics controlled by a variety of corrupt governments and there is a revolutionary faction causing problems. They want the real America back. Most of these post-apocalyptic stories have the USA broken into multiple countries. Decentralization is a bitch when it comes to control, I guess. I preferred the first season and the description of life after civilization. Second season became too sci-fi and unrealistic for me. The characters and acting were excellent. Lots of strong women kicking ass and surviving.

Sex and the City (1998-2004) This is another series I always wondered why it got so much media attention. It's about a woman living in NYC and her group of friends. She writes a column called "Sex and the City" about relationships and each episode is based on the theme of her current column's subject. My favorite episode was one on wedding and baby showers. The main character, Carrie, attends a baby shower for her friend's third or fourth child and is expected to remove her shoes before entering the house. She's not happy about this as her shoes are part of her fashion ensemble and to remove them would ruin the look. After much complaining she removes them anyway. At the end of the night her $500 shoes are missing. Someone stole them. The friend offers to replace them until she finds out how much they cost, and she gets bitchy and judgmental about how with a family she can't afford to buy such extravagant items. Carrie's remedy is priceless. As someone who has bought an overabundance of wedding and baby gifts, I loved it. The whole series was incredibly well-written and thought provoking. The supporting characters are outstanding.

Six Feet Under (2001-2005) This is a story about a family-run undertaking business. Death has always been a taboo subject. No one likes to talk about it, but everyone thinks about it. This show makes death acceptable as a normal human experience and every episode addressed a different way in which a person can die, the aftermath, and grieving process. Fascinating storylines, great characters, and well-written.

Smash (2012-2013) I love a good musical and this show was my guilty pleasure for the two years it was on the air. It's about a Broadway play based on Marilyn Monroe so lots of great music and outstanding choreography. The storylines were good, acting sometimes questionable, but the music was absolutely addicting. I'm pretty sure I watched each episode at least twice, but the first season finale I watched at least twenty times. Really. And CRIED. Really. And I wore out the soundtrack.

The Sopranos (1999-2007) is about the New Jersey mafia focusing on one boss family and all his sleazy cohorts. The subject didn't interest me, but after years of winning all kinds of awards and garnering lots of constant media discussion, I got curious. I wasn't sold on the first episode and almost quit watching, but it reels you in with really awesome, complicated characters. By the third episode, I was hooked and I watched non-stop eight seasons of psychopathic blood baths and mental games. It was fascinating. And scary. Many memorable, haunting scenes I wish I could forget.

Switched at Birth (2011-now) This is about a high school girl who while doing a science assignment on genetics finds out she's not her parents' daughter. she was switched at birth in the hospital. The two families find each other and meet, one family somewhat rich and the other not so much. This was another ABC teen/family show. Kind of cheesy, but I liked the plot and characters. I lost interest after three seasons.

True Blood (2008-2014) A fantasy-drama about Louisiana vampires with a few werewolves, shapeshifters, fairies, and other supernatural beings. The Japanese invented fake blood so vampires were able to "come out of the closet", but are met with fear-based discrimination. Lots of parallels to gay equal rights movement. "God Hates Fangs" LOL. Brilliant. Great opening credits and southern culture. The storylines are way over the top, lots of bloody violence, and surreal to the point of humorous, but it's fun.

The Vampire Diaries (2009-now) Another vampire series, but the vampires in this one are gorgeous. It's Twilight for TV, but with better acting, better plot, and better storylines. It's a little less surreal than True Blood, more stressful than humorous, maybe a little less violent, but not much, and more teen theme driven. It's also missing the more complex themes and these vampires are not generally out of the closet, but watching the gorgeous Damon Salvatore (Ian Somerhalder) be a neck-biting smart ass is worth it. I would enjoy being a vampire. I wouldn't have to worry about chemical sensitivity!

Vikings (2013) is an historical fiction series produced by the History Channel. It's incredibly realistic. The village scenes are filthy and battle scenes are bloody. Really bloody. The characters are outstanding and the religion/culture fascinating. Rarely do we see historical narratives on this time period for TV, yet this show is so realistic it's often more documentary than fiction.


JEEZ! I watch a lot of TV!

The Last Woman on Earth

The latest trends in television shows are post-apocalyptic themes applauding the end of civilization. We like the idea of wiping the slate clean and start over with new beginnings for humankind. The underlying message no matter how this theme is presented is: We really screwed this up.

Any number of things might cause this annihilation: nuclear war, alien attacks, viruses, Republicans, or some unknown sci-fi reason for all electricity to cease working. I love fiction. We are so forgiving and accepting of strange plot lines. There are always a few survivors left to pick up the pieces, but most importantly, the world is thrown into a pre-technological state. A storyline that would cause many television-addicted couch potatoes to panic, but for the rest of us we salivate at the thought of a simpler life.

My favorite show is The 100. It's about earth becoming uninhabitable due to an overabundance of radiation after a nuclear war and the only survivors were those on the space stations. The culture created from being cooped up on a space ship is fascinating. Any tiny infraction and the perpetrator is "floated" - death by space. Unless they are under age, then they go into juvie jail to await their eighteenth birthday and a court hearing to determine if they are capable of being model citizens. It's ruthless. After 97 years, the space stations are running out of air, so they send 100 juvenile delinquents to the ground to see if it's habitable yet. If it's not, bye-bye loser kids. I love the show. I'm addicted. Normally the writing is outstanding, but season two's finale just aired and it was absolutely horrible. Maybe it's the beginning of the end for this series? Still, I'm in the throes of withdrawals and I hate having to wait until September for a fix.

These themes are nothing new, in fact very old. Noah and his Ark comes to mind. God thought we (or he) fucked up royally and decide to start it all over. Great idea. And the biblical apocalypse ideal was invented before we even had technology! I guess no matter what time period, life has always sucked. Now though, if you are the only one on earth, there would be no wars, pollution would eventually dissipate, chemical production would stop, perfume-saturated people would cease to exist, evil people would be gone, plants would start growing over all the cement. Back to nature. No phones ringing, no computers demanding your attention, no televisions warping your mind, no news programs scaring you senseless. Peace and quiet.

Are you all watching that new show The Last Man on Earth? Well, it's another goofy comedy destined to keep us brain dead for summer. This one is about the aftermath of a virus that wipes out nearly the entire population save one guy. He's not a real smart guy and he's not really very survival oriented either. He spends most of his time trying to find ways to entertain himself: using lamps as bowling pins progressing to bowling with cars, driving through store fronts, and using a swimming pool for a toilet because he's too lazy to haul water. Mindless entertainment and immature destruction. From what I've read, it's getting more viewers than that cognitively-impaired cartoon Family Guy, an indication the middle-American viewers aren't real bright either. BUT it's one of those shows that sparks your imagination and inspires fantasy. What would it be like to be the only person left on Earth?

The opening episode shows this guy driving around the USA in a tour bus collecting whatever he wants: famous paintings, dinosaur skulls, Dorothy's ruby slippers, expensive wine, and the presidential seal. Each town and city he drives through, he uses the speaker system to call out for anyone else who is alive. He also posts notices all over that he is living in Tucson and come find him because he's exceptionally lonely (and desperately horny). Now, if you were the only person left on Earth, with no electricity or running water, would you go to Tucson? Land of 120 degree temperatures? Large snakes and spiders? No air conditioning? Hell no! It would be like living in Hell. See, he's not very smart.

What would you do if you were the last person on Earth? Chemical sensitivity makes one feel isolated, but what would it be like if there were no other people around to poison you?

I'd hit the road. Not necessarily to find other people as I think that could pose a problem in terms of safety. The series Revolution clearly spelled out the dangers one would face if all technology died. Survival is not a pretty sight if others [evil people] are still around. (I learn a lot watching TV!) However, eventually, I'd get curious. If I'm alive, it stands to reason someone else is still alive. I'd go searching just to make sure I'm the only one left. Rather than drive aimlessly looking for people, I'd have a plan. First, I'd find myself a gun, a crowbar, and a U-Haul. Eventually I might trade the U-Haul in for a really snazzy sports car like a Porsche or a four-wheel drive, but for now I need to gather supplies as I travel. I'd stock up on organic bedding and linens, healthy canned foods, gardening supplies, toilet paper, clothes, face masks, camping supplies, tools, more guns, a generator, first aid supplies, and lots of bottled water. I know someone who is a survivalist and she advises to have these things already stocked in your house just in case. Hmmm... I'd ransack Whole Foods. I might snatch a Monet or Rembrandt along the way, but only if it's convenient. I'd fill my U-Haul and head for temperate climates.

California, here I come! I think just north or south of San Francisco would be awesome. Near the ocean. Maybe Carmel. Not too hot not too cold. I'm sure I could find a lovely house with a nice sports car in the garage. Something with a pool. And lots of land with fruit trees and garden space. Or maybe I'd head down to San Diego to find Jason Mraz's avocado farm? That would be good. I could live off of avocados. Heck, maybe he survived? (Since I'm fantasizing I might as well make it good.)


The main character of this show is such a doofus he doesn't seem to have a clue how to survive or the inclination to think beyond one day. In the first episode he's living off packaged junk food and laying in a kiddie pool filled with alcohol while he drinks it from a long straw. The dream of all stupid people. I do understand it's all about the entertainment value, but even with this show the boredom of laziness takes it's toll and he decides to kill himself. It's the most ignorant attempted suicide I've ever seen, but again, it's just for entertainment. The star of the show isn't going to die in the first episode.

It's implied there is no meat since meals are made from "raisin balls" so I assume no animals survived? If they did in my apocalyptic world, I'd have to find some cows and bring them back to my new house in Carmel.  Chickens, sheep and a horse, too. If there aren't any animals, then I'd be living off canned foods until I can get a garden started. California would be good for some year round gardening.

If no animals survived then no dogs did either. That would be my dream. If humans died, but dogs didn't that would be very bad with all those hungry homeless hounds forming packs and looking for food. I'd have to arm myself with several [machine] guns. I'm going to have to ransack Cabelas, the hunter's vortex for all killing supplies.


The most obvious worry for me aside from starving dogs or surviving psychopaths would be you'd never want to need medical attention. Injuries or illnesses, even minor ones, might be life threatening. This is why I think the doofus's plan to drive himself in to a rock was really lame. If he didn't die, he could be in a whole lot of misery. I wonder what happened to all the dead people? This show is a comedy so a lot of the back story is ignored. Dead, rotting, diseased bodies all over? That could be a problem. Stores filled with rotten meat? It could get ugly.

With a generator I could use a washing machine. I wouldn't want to hand wash clothing or bedding. I can't imagine. That would be my worse nightmare. Water quality would be an issue as well as finding and maintaining a supply of quality food. What other negatives would there be?

Since this is my fantasy, I'll avoid thinking about negatives and just concentrate on how wonderful it would be. I'd spend my days gardening, harvesting food, gathering supplies, walking the beach and exploring. No crappy people, no dogs, no computers, no television, no money, no taxes, and lots of free stuff. The world would be my Freecycle. I would love being the last woman on Earth.

What would you do if you were the last person on Earth?

Gulity Pleasure Confession

Lately television shows are really horrible. I know they always have been, but usually there is one or two that are fairly entertaining.* Last summer there was absolutely nothing on T.V. worth watching. For someone who is isolated out in the middle of no where, good television is a welcomed escape. I can live someone else's life for one hour.

 

In September, the Fox show Utopia began airing. I liked the idea of a group of strangers getting together to start their own society. Like an eco-village or a permaculture community. I think this is a great idea for aging baby boomers and/or chemically sensitive people as a practical support system so I was intrigued.

The first show I thought, Oh, good gawd, this is so bad. Why am I watching? OK, sometimes I even screamed it aloud. I knew why I was watching: there was nothing else on TV to watch! I remember thinking, Is this what my life has come to?? But the longer I watched, the more interesting it became. I like shows about interpersonal relationships probably because I don't have any.

The show was based on a Dutch television program that is getting the highest ratings of any Dutch reality show, so producers anticipated much success. To become a utopian, candidates needed to create three-minute audition videos and subject themselves to a casting process. Producers selected the first fifteen people based on their wide range of skills and experiences much like a microcosm of society.  There were lawyers, doctors, convicts, ministers, construction workers, plumbers, survivalists, hunters, chefs, hillbillies, and one pregnant woman.

My favorite utopian was the single, cat woman who demanded organic food, lectured on the use of cancer-causing microwaves, passionately supported organic gardening, sold watercolors on ebay to help support the group, and showed all kinds of evidence of being an earth-worshipping goddess. Everyone thought she showed all kinds of evidence of being a little off her rocker, too. She got a lot of flack for talking to herself, but since cameras were on them 24/7, I argued she really wasn't really talking to herself. Hey, I talk to myself so what's the problem? I loved her self-affirmations. She sometimes hugged herself.

I wondered whether these people were what they claimed to be and if it was really unscripted. Some viewers did online digging into the former lives of the utopians and found them to be actors, models, and have fake names so it's questionable how staged this "reality" show was. I wonder how much they got paid? Anyway, with this personality mix, there was bound to be interpersonal conflict regardless of whether it was staged or not. This made it fascinating. For instance, during hot weather the girls walked around naked or went skinny dipping in the pond while the minister sat on the edge of society with his hands over his eyes crying. That was priceless. Some utopians were useless and lazy while others worked constantly. Some were easy-going while others were volatile.

 

On occasion, one of the utopians would be forced to leave due to injury or family emergency. Others walked out in frustration. Once a month one person would be voted out with viewers contributing online votes and utopians voting from America's pick. Then two more candidates would stay for one week and the remaining utopians would vote one of them in as a replacement. One candidate was a topless housekeeper. HA! If I wasn't chemically sensitive and gluten-free, I might have auditioned to be a utopian just for the fun of it! If I lived in California, I would have paid to go on the tour.

It was scheduled two days a week and had planned to continue for one year. The show schedule was then reduced to once a week due to low ratings. This went on for two months, then it disappeared for two weeks during the World Series. I don't think that was a good move as it lost a lot of viewers during this hiatus. I also think they should have aired it during the summer when it had no competition from the big fall line up.

Although Fox sunk $50 million into production, property development, website construction with viewer passport and participation options, and 24/7 streaming feeds, ratings were so low they dropped it yesterday without warning. No closure sucks. We didn't even get to see them get the news or watch them pack up and leave. It's hard to believe they paid so much for this show and then instead of finding a way to make it pay for itself, the whole thing just disappeared overnight. I've read some of the comments on the website. Many viewers were very disappointed explaining they are home-bound and disabled and watching the feeds 24/7 became their entertainment. It became their life. I never got into the feeds, but I think it might have been just a matter of time!

No, it wasn't good T.V. but it was entertaining to a certain degree. Now I'll have to find a new guilty pleasure.

Not much to choose from....



*Cable television has some excellent programs, but they aren't free on Hulu.

Entertainment, Part Ten: My Computer, My Playground

How did I ever live without a computer?

Living just beyond civilization without radio or television or even a telephone, my computer is my only contact with the real world. It's how I communicate with people, pay bills, balance my checkbook, keep up on news, get weather updates and all manner of general day-to-day life management and business. It also keeps me from going insane with isolation and boredom. Here are some of the ways I entertain myself using my computer:

Email  Who needs a phone? No one writes letters anymore. This is my primary mode of correspondence with friends, relatives, business associates and even complete strangers. The greatest thing about email for someone who is chemically sensitive is it's communication without human contact! I can't imagine having MCS twenty years ago without the technology that makes our lives easier. I would have found ways to survive, but not as efficiently as I am able with all this assistance at my fingertips (literally!).

Writing Remember typewriters? White out? Mimeograph copies? Carbon copies? Wow. Times have changed. I love to write. Journal entries, letters, short stories, magazine articles, websites, discussion groups, comment sections, online activism, and blogs. Attach the document to an email and who needs snail mail?

Reading  I read blogs, websites, short stories, magazine articles, comment sections, discussions on lists, recipes, and research information on various subjects. I could download a fictional ebook on my computer, but I still love holding a book in my hands and curling up in a comfy chair. Well, as long as it doesn't stink of print dye or someone else's perfume.

Library  I can do all my library business online, order through interlibrary loans, see what's available, put items on hold. Before I even check out the item, watching my hold numbers is fun for me. Strange, I know.

Art by Danny Roberts

Art  There are all kinds of art software for computers like Sketchpad, iPaint, Photoshop, etc. Lately I've been having a blast using my scanner to scan pictures and my digital camera to download photographs. Incredibly fun. There are many artist websites, videos, and galleries for viewing as well as museum and gallery sites. My latest favorite artist: http://dannyroberts.com/

http://dannyrobertsartstore.blogspot.com/

Games  I have to admit, I'm not a game player, but I know they are available to those who enjoy this type of entertainment. Also, virtual worlds and other fantasy games are in abundance.

Music Music may be downloaded for listening or purchase and your favorite CDs may be played right on your computer. Nearly any song you've ever heard is now available on YouTube often accompanied by photo montages or video clips created by music fans. Radio stations are even online.


Videos  YouTube is spectacular. Unfortunately, I can sit around all day watching footage of concerts, music videos, movie trailers, clips from movies, clips from television shows, animals doing cute things, animals doing not so cute things, people doing really stupid things, babies laughing, memorial montages, news briefs, comedy routines, people talking about anything or nothing, etc. You name it, there is a video out there for you to watch.



Movies  Hulu.com is the best website for free movies, old and new. I have also watched old movies through YouTube, one scene at a time. Many local libraries have movie downloads for patron home use and most computers now accept DVDs to be watched right on the computer screen. Every now and then I consider buying a big-screen TV so I can hook it up to my computer. Maybe someday. 

Warning:  I once had a friend tell me about a movie site you could download recently released movies for free. Yeah, it sounded fishy, but this was the same friend who told me about Hulu so I thought he knew what he was talking about. It was an illegal site, and I got my first virus. Do be careful and unless you know the site, don't be downloading anything.



Television  Hulu.com, again. Before Hulu came on the scene, I never watched TV. Now I'm a television junkie. My current favorite shows are: Smash and Once Upon a Time, although I'm growing fond of New Girl, Touch and Missing. And yes, on occasion I watch The Vampire Diaries. It's my guilty pleasure. Ian Somerhalder is dreamy. I am rather fond of checking out whole seasons of television shows from the library and watching them on the computer. No commercials! The only thing missing is awards shows like the American Music Awards, Academy Awards, Tony Awards or Grammy Awards are never online. Darn.



Stalking & Lurking  I love reading Facebook and Twitter posts.  There is something sleazy and stalker-ish about reading someone's inner thoughts and seeing their private photos without them knowing. Celebrity stalking is really fun and it keeps me updated on pop culture. I really hate it when people make their social networking accounts private.  Social media is like going to a party without the stink.

Although I am a huge fan of computer technology, I do worry about EMFs (electromagnetic fields) and radiation with all the electronic devices available these days. Those of us chemically sensitive are susceptible to becoming overloaded with EMF exposure creating many symptoms we already experience plus a few other health concerns: chronic fatigue, joint pain, nausea, brain function issues, heart problems and cancer. I can't imagine what I would do if ever I became sensitive to my computer!

As it is I have two computers and two screens on my desk in an office located away from my sleeping area. In hopes of alleviating some exposure and more importantly, because I'm a bit of a non-materialistic minimalist, I'm way behind with most technological advances (other than computers) and getting farther behind with every passing year, sorry to say. I don't use cell phones or smartphones, Kindles, microwave ovens, electric blankets, hair dryers, answering machines, or cordless appliances. I do have home wiring, an electric clock and a digital camera, but I'm not living under power lines and I avoid getting radiated at the doctor's and dentist's offices.

Does this help? I doubt it. With all the EMFs created by all the technological junkies, I don't think my minimalist approach matters. We are doomed!!  I think in time society will pay with technology-related health issues we have not yet imagined, and as the canaries, we will be the first in line.

What have I forgotten? How do you use your computer for entertainment?