Tucson on the Rebound

I've had such bad experiences in Tucson, I was kind of dreading the return, but the nonstop thunderstorms raged in Flagstaff and I had had it with the wet and mud! I drove through two more storms on the way to Tucson at one point pulling off on a "scenic view" to watch the water on the cement wondering if it would wash me off the parking lot while the hurricane winds were blowing the bushes sideways. I kept chanting, "Another adventure..."  

As I approached the town of Globe, Google News started flashing emergency alerts covering the maps telling me no driving in the area unless you are escaping! Jeez! What do I do, park and wait to be washed away? I proceeded cautiously, but most of the water was gone leaving piles of debris. The devastation in Globe from the flood the day before was pretty shocking. (There is news footage if you are interested.) It was hard to find gas because most of the stations were shut down. The thundercloud forming on the far side of Globe as I was leaving via Highway 77 was scary looking, like hell had opened up, and once the storm hit, it pounded with little visibility.

It only lasted about twenty minutes and I chanted while slowly driving those highway curves, "Another adventure...." I could see the blue skies in the distance and that gave me hope.

Then everything cleared! The sun shone brightly. The skies turned bright blue with big, fluffy, white clouds. Beautiful all the way into Tucson. I arrived to 75 degrees and cool 60s at night! (Keep in mind that changed the next day and the temperatures climbed to 99 degrees, BUT the nights cool down to 69-70!)

The desert smelled SO GOOD! My campsite was still there looking beautiful as ever:

The Catalina Mountains and Oro Valley scenery were spectacular:

Now I remember why I moved here in the first place before PEOPLE tried to ruin it for me! Can we get rid of the people now?

Bonus: Sinuses started clearing up the moment I reached Tucson!

The Great Adventure comes to an end! Back to ground zero.

BAMBOOZLED! WTH?

 Look at this:

WTH? Just this morning as I was freezing my ass off I told someone, "When I was planning to move to Tucson, I imagined I'd be wearing sandals everyday for the rest of my life! I'm freezing!" I was wearing a turtleneck and a Norwegian wool sweater. I actually threw away most of my cold-weather clothing in celebration of this life-changing transition.

I moved to get away from this weather!

I've been putting my tent out to hold my camping spot so when I come back from errands I know I still have it. Poor tent! It used to be waterproof so we'll see. Inside I put a plastic tote filled with gallons of water and laundry detergent. I also gathered a couple large rocks from the desert. This way if we also get monsoon winds, the tent won't fly away to join the herd of javelinas roaming free.

Then it felt cold, the wind kept shifting. As I'm laying in bed writing letters I look up and THERE IS SNOW IN THOSE HILLS!!! WTF?

No. No. And No. Can I go to Mexico?

The nice thing about the rain besides my sinuses don't feel so dry is the desert smells so good in the rain!

2024: REVIEW AND RESOLUTION

This year was wild! It was an emotional rollercoaster, stressful, wonderful, horrifying, brilliant and, well, life at its finest. I survived to tell the tale!

 

AWESOME THINGS:

TAROT READING: Early in 2024 I had a tarot reading done. It was very informative and interesting. She said all kinds of incredibly accurate things, BUT then she said 2024 is the year I will MOVE! I started crying. Really! I started crying! She had no idea I was planning to put my house up for sale. Amazing.

MOVING: And I moved! "Moving" should also go under HORRIBLE things, too, due to the stress. But when all hope was lost, I kept chanting defiantly, “NO! AILENE SAID I WAS GOING TO MOVE THIS YEAR! NOT NEXT YEAR! NOT ANOTHER YEAR! THIS YEAR! I AM MOVING THIS YEAR!” And I did. As I drove away from Rathole in a Uhaul with what was left over of my worldly belongings, I had this odd sense of calm wash over me. I kept yelling at my friend who was in the co-pilot seat, “I FEEL SO CALM!” Nineteen years of anxiety, stress, and depression just melted away as I drove away!

SELLING: I started my marathon of downsizing last year and I just kept on going through 2024! I sold a four-bedroom house packed to the rafters worth of junk. I sold childhood memories, accumulated free junk, furniture, and about one hundred and fifty art history books plus another fifty or so non-art books! I still have the ads and photos and when I look through them, I am in disbelief! Near the end, I was giving things away, donating, and just chucking it in the garbage. I still ended up with too much: eighty boxes, two tables, five chairs that go with those tables, a bike, a bunch of art, and a twin bed frame. The leftovers are still being sold little by little to empty out the storage unit. I only cried twice. Once when I sold my rabbit statue that reminded me of my bunny and when I sold Kitty, the doll I had since I was four years old....But I was happy she got a new home instead of ending up in the garbage or worse, buried in the woods (as one friend suggested).

MAJOR SELLING: I sold my house! It almost didn't happen. It was close. All spring and summer - high season for real estate sales - and nothing. When I put it up for sale in May there were few houses in my area on the market and I was very happy and hopeful with the lack of competition. When June came around, everyone had their house up for sale! It was very discouraging watching my neighbors’ houses sell and mine just sit there. Actually, it was incredibly stressful. Would I be forced to stay another winter in rainy cold Rathole? Would I be responsible for financially maintaining both a house and an apartment? If you have seen photos I have posted, my house was a little unusual with bright walls, painted walls, floors and ceilings, painted switchplates and furniture, and all manner of crazy creativity. It’s not for everyone. However, many people, including some I didn’t even know, would approach me and ask, “Is your house the creative, colorful one being sold? Oh, I wish I could buy it!” I don’t know if they were just being polite, but it gave me hope. 

But still no offers. I found out of the three agents in my area, two of them weren’t showing it because there was a request to be fragrance-free and they couldn’t be bothered to go without stink in order to show it. Prospective buyers still showed up stinking of laundry detergent or shampoo. What a nightmare! I lowered the price. Nothing. I lowered the price again drastically and I got ONE offer in the fall. These people had inspections done on three other houses and deemed them not well-cared for enough. I had no hope since my house is over 100 years old, but they bought it! I am still amazed and thankful! I feel so free! No more house maintenance. No more cleaning gutters and windows. I don't care if the fence falls apart every winter or if the trees blow over onto the roof! Most importantly, no more bad neighbors. If I wasn’t so excited, relieved and thrilled it sold, I would put it under HORRIBLE for the nervous breakdown experience.

THE VAN!!!:  I finally bought a van! After searching for a van for nearly a year, buying Big Blue was sudden, easy, and comfortably meant to be. I was not prepared to move into a van and live in one, but I did, mostly out of necessity. The very steep learning curved adventure commenced! I really should put this under the SO-SO category since the adjustment was anything but awesome, but after two years of researching and planning, I finally did it and that is awesome! No more rent costs or utility payments. Free to travel and explore. The adventure begins!

 

TRAVEL: I haven't ventured out much yet with Big Blue as I'm trying to get her outfitted for independence and waiting for winter to be over, but I have explored a lot of Arizona and New Mexico! So fun being nomadic!

FRAGRANCE-FREE MCS FRIENDS! I finally found my tribe! It’s amazing going to social functions with these people and not have to worry about being poisoned!

FRIENDS: I made more friends here in Tucson in the first two weeks than I did in Rathole in nineteen years!

CYCLING: Tucson has cycling clubs, cycling paths, cycling shops, cycling swap meets (the biggest in the country), and cyclists. Lots of cycling! It's amazing to be able to ride my bike again after it's been stored in a closet for nearly twenty years. The first time I got teary-eyed. I have found an older women's group to ride with...more my speed! Excellent.

PEN PALS: I love my pen pals! Not only is letter writing good entertainment, but with this move it provided much needed stability and support. One of my pen friends sent me a collaged card she made in honor of my move that I received my first day in Tucson! I love it! I felt so honored.

SO-SO THINGS:

TUCSON: I moved to Tucson. I don't know. Initially I was really excited. Then I encountered the worst human on earth (see below under REALLY, REALLY HORRIBLE EXPERIENCES...) which greatly affected my feelings for Tucson It should have been great. This city has a multiple chemical sensitivity community, an art community, sunshine and dry weather most of the time, a lot of health- oriented grocery stores, lots of friendly people, and the whole city is one big bike lane! What could go wrong?  I now see the bad roads, bad drivers, constant congestion, expensive food, and Republicans. It's definitely not warm here in the winter at night dipping into the 30s, but it's not raining.  I was hoping my health would improve as so many have claimed, but it has only seemed to get worse. I wrote a summary post on Tucson.

ART: I tried joining some art groups: plein art and watercolor, but 1) the artist-members were really talented which made me feel stupid, and 2) when life got stressful, I stopped going. Maybe I’ll try again in the future.

UHAULING: I feel really proud I packed up what was left of my house into a Uhaul truck and drove all the way across four states. Driving 9 hours one day, then 15 hours, then 12 hours, then 3 hours was exhausting. My friend came with for company and that was fun. The truck was on the verge of breaking down the whole trip and we couldn't remove the key out of the ignition unless we wanted to be stranded. We slept at rest stops and truck stops. Then I unpacked the truck myself. Did I really do that? At my age?

REALLY, REALLY HORRIBLE EXPERIENCES:

THE PSYCHOPATHIC LANDLADY PIECE OF GARBAGE: I rented a tiny apartment from an elderly, possessive, self-centered, egocentric, obsessive psychopath who was in my face everyday criticizing, questioning, demanding and compulsively pathologically lying every step of the way. I was so incredibly stressed out and unable to function, tiptoeing around in my own home and afraid to touch silverware for fear she’d hear me, and paranoid as hell. When she'd hear me open my door on arrival, she's show up on my patio demanding to discuss some imaginary issue or demanded to know what I might be doing that she didn't like. She instructed me on requirements for cleaning the apartment and even what products to use, what I was allowed to do, what I can bring into the apartment, when I could use the patio at my door, threatened me if I left the gate unlocked, on and on and on. If I asked her a question or informed her of anything, she perceived it as a personal attack and would become vengefully defensive. Then she began wafting scented something through the HVAC system and that was my breaking point. I saw a lawyer and started defending myself. She eventually agreed with me this wasn’t working for either of us and let me out of my one-year lease. Thank god for small miracles! I can't believe I survived that. I will never in my life rent again.

THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION: How does that happen? What is the point of voting if my vote doesn’t count because of this idiotic electoral college? It was rigged. Men with money who have friends with money can get away with nearly anything. Money and male dominance is the American way. I've heard about some of the voting statistics and how they aren't making sense. But this is our political system. I’m sick to my stomach. But at one point I told a friend if voting for the buffoon would make this psychopathic witch disappear out of my life, I would in a heartbeat!

RENTAL SEARCH: I was so stressed out knowing if someone bought my house, and I only had thirty days to move, would I be able to find a safe place to live? I made two trips to Tucson and couldn't find much. I finally settle on a tiny apartment owned by a woman who claimed to be fragrance-free who ended up to be a raving psychopath (see above). The stress of it all was unimaginable. I don't ever want to do that again ever!

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION FOR 2025: I don't have one. I told a friend I have had so many things happen in the last year, so many goals met, so many dreams fulfilled, I've had enough resolutions come true in 2024 to last me at least five or ten years. Maybe my resolution is to be calm, stress-free, and happy?

 

 

 

 

Tucson, AZ

Tucson has been at the top of my list for residential locations for a long time. After a month and a half, here is my summary:

BAD STUFF:

Psychopaths. I realize the psychopathic landlady destroyed my perspective, so I'll put her at the top. I am hoping the memory will fade and my love for Tucson will return, but for now, being in the city makes me sick to my stomach.

Traffic. Lots of vehicles and lots of bad drivers. Tucson has a bad reputation for weird signage making it difficult to find locations. It's non-stop stress to be cautious and not get in a wreck. As someone who came from a tiny town with no traffic, this has been a challenging adjustment.

Roads. The Republicans don't like to spend money on anything so they don't maintain roads. The potholes are as big as cars, the shoddy patchwork makes driving dangerous, and they still expect people to drive 75 mph on the freeway!

Zippy contemplating whether driving over this is a good idea.

This is a Republican road...

Republicans. Too many of them here not wanting the government to do anything but expecting the government to control everything? How exactly does that work? How did Dump win? It shocks me. 

Expensive Restaurants. Anytime I go out to eat it's $20 to $30 for a meal! Now I accept the fact I rarely ate in restaurants where I used to live so twenty years is a long time for prices to increase, but it never ceases to amaze me how much money one can spend eating out.

Internet. The internet service options suck.

GOOD STUFF:

Biking. Bike trails, routes and paths ALL OVER THE CITY! Most streets are designated bike paths and intersections have stop lights for cyclists. There is the 50-mile loop all the way around the city. It is a biker's dream. Lots of clubs and bicycle enthusiasts.

Art. Lots of art clubs to join. The great weather supports plein air painting. Lots of museums and galleries.

MCS. There is a large group for chemically sensitive people called HEAL. They have a newsletter and host potlucks. When I attended my first potluck I felt like crying the whole time. People just like me gathering in a social context. We could group and didn't have to worry about being poisoned!

Health. A lot of people profess miraculous cures being in this dry, warm climate especially regarding arthritis or mold toxicity. I have a lot of hope.

Radio. They have a great pop radio station.

People. Most people are really nice, exceptionally nice.

Health-oriented Stores. Lots of Whole Foods, Natural Grocers, and Sprouts along with health food stores and a food co-op! The food seems to be a little more expensive than where I'm from.

Gluten-free Options in Restaurants. I've never seen so much gluten-free food. It seems every restaurant has something to offer!

The Psychopath

I arrived in Tucson on November 1st ready to take possession of the little apartment owned by the pathological lying bully of a landlady, now referred to as "The Psychopath" or abbreviated, "Psycho". My plan was to lay low, be quiet, avoid contact, and not incur her wrath for any reason. During the lease negotiations, everything I said or questioned she perceived as a personal attack so my plan was to be invisible. I kept her abreast of my progress: arrival in Tucson, unloading of storage, then approximate arrival at the apartment. She wasn't there. My greatest fear is she just wouldn't hand over the keys and I would be homeless. I texted and waited.

Twenty minutes later as we sat in 100-degree weather, she arrived, no apology, but clearly unmoored by seeing my friend with me. She talked incessantly and at length repeating the same stories I had already heard, giving me detailed instructions on what I could and couldn't do in the apartment, how to clean things, what cleaning products to use. I just kept thinking, give her time to adjust to a new person and she will be fine. This compulsive control over every detail was odd to say the least, but my friend assured me elderly people are just like that.

My first panic was realizing the mattress was scented! The apartment was partially furnished. I requested some things to be removed: the small table too small for a desktop computer, the towels and kitchen supplies. With only 194 square feet, every object was restrictive. Psycho was not having it. I told her I didn't want to feel like a temporary guest, but rather, wanted to feel like I was home and if I would be signing a one-year lease this was important. (The ad for the apartment offered a month-to-month, but I think she took one look at my credit score and said only a one-year lease was available.) After much deliberation, she did remove more than I expected. I wanted the mattress so I wouldn't have to buy another and upon initial inspection, there was no stink. I decided to take the plastic mattress covers I used to pack items and wrap the mattress in plastic. I would feel like a toddler sleeping on crunchy plastic, but I could do this for a year.

I made the mistake of sending her the Inspection Report that was attached to the lease, listing every issue with the apartment anticipating she would blame me for every problem once my lease was up because that is exactly what a dishonest piece of garbage would do. The appliances, windows, and floors were filthy. There was long black hair all over the bathroom. Damage to the walls and the paint job was horrifying with three different types of paint, four different colors of white alone, and paint splatters all over her precious floor. (Calling out the bad paint job was important as she kept harassing me about painting, convinced I would paint behind her back, AND she left a can of paint under the sink! That felt like a set up.) I attached it to a very friendly email. She said I was exaggerating and lying. She claimed she had photos she took before I moved in. I didn't respond as I was trying to be invisible. I didn't tell her I took over 150 date-stamped photos as my proof. I tried to ignore all the dog shit she never cleans up on the courtyard. The dog's new toilet was right in front of the gate where I have to walk to get off the property. I took daily photos of date-stamped dog shit.

Psycho never did relax. For the next three weeks she watched me (security cameras all over), sometimes showing up at my door when I returned. I wondered if she had cameras in the apartment, but I never found any evidence. Complaining, demanding, warning, and texting constantly. I tiptoed around the apartment afraid to touch silverware that would clatter too loudly. She told me how I was to clean the apartment and what products I was allowed to use.

Then the harassment began. She decided I need to pay for renters' insurance. I needed to buy new rugs for the apartment since she claimed I hated her rugs. (I did NOT say I hated her rugs, but that I had a rug that matched the color of the walls.) She wouldn't let me handwash nor hang clothes in the courtyard and demanded I go to a laundromat. After I stopped, she accused me of continuing to wash clothes and dump the water in the courtyard where her dog was getting muddy. She constantly threatened me if I didn't remember to close the gate and lock it. Two weeks into the month and she demanded an inspection giving me 48 hours-notice. She never showed. Around this time, she decided I was using too much internet data, and I needed to start paying for internet service. I tried keeping my head down, not to incite her anger and her unhinged temper tantrums. I was honestly afraid if I defended myself or voiced my opinion, she'd accuse me of elderly abuse. I was so stressed I was constantly shaking, unable to eat, and did everything possible to not be in the apartment. I made an appointment with a lawyer.

Then Psycho did the unthinkable...Monday morning something strongly scented started wafting through the heating system. Now, Psycho likes it hot. She would jack up that heat to 85 degrees. I didn't mind. She told me early on if it gets too hot to close the vents and open the windows. I really don't mind hot. I moved to get out of cold. I wondered if this stink was scented laundry detergent, but it smelled too strong like air fresheners. Not only did I close the vents, seal them with plastic, open the windows, point fans out the windows, bought and turned on an air purifier, and wore a mask while in the apartment. The stink smelled like the bed. I carefully sent her an email letting her know I was deathly allergic to scented products and asking for her help with this. She told me she didn't know what I was talking about. I started sleeping in my car, but away from the apartment as I was afraid if she caught me, she'd have more to yell about.

After I told the lawyer of my rental situation, she said the landlady sounds mentally ill. She suggested I contact Arizona Disability Services for guidance on discrimination and try to get out of the lease as neither of us is happy about our agreement. She also advised me not to worry about elderly abuse accusations and feel free to defend myself and respond to her accusations. Psycho seemed to settle down when I used the words "disability" and "discrimination". I sent her a certified letter Request of Accommodation which she ignored. She said she would let me out of my lease if I moved out by the end of the month (one week). I told her I'd think about it. Where would I go? I was still thinking there was hope if she would cease the scented products and desist with the harassment.

Then she got really nice. I have a feeling she might have consulted a lawyer. She said we could work it out, she would have the vents cleaned, and I would have to buy a new mattress for myself. She continued to insulted me several times, telling me I don't know what I'm talking about (more gaslighting), saying I was one of the worst tenants she ever had, and complained repeatedly vent cleaning would cost $2,000 (which I think was another lie according to friend of mine who said it never costs that much). She couldn't tell me how they would clean the vents and I worried it would make the situation worse if they used chemicals. She continued to text me all the time, demanding to know when I was going to buy the new mattress, when I would need to let the vent cleaners in, and informing me if I wanted to terminate the lease I could but she didn't care either way (another lie).

I couldn't imagine spending a whole year with Psycho's harassment as clearly it was not going to stop. I opted to terminate the lease. She said we didn't need a formal document (another lie). I requested the termination through email and she approved through email. November 30th at 6:00pm would be my deadline. I had everything moved out and the apartment cleaned by November 26th (making sure she couldn't accuse me of abandonment). At that last load in my little car, I was breathing a sigh of relief (pun intended), but knowing it's not over. I requested my security deposit and last month's rent returned giving her a UPS mailbox address for my forwarding address. 

On November 30th, she texts me one last time to tell me she can't be there at 6:00pm to get the keys and I should lock the apartment and gate, and throw them over the wall. I found this to be outrageously stupid. Suppose they end up in a garden lost? Who is she going to blame? She threatened if I don't give her back keys, she will hire a locksmith, and deduct it from my security deposit. I text back and told her the keys are on the counter and the doors and gates are locked. (I didn't tell her they had been on the counter all week.)

Good news, surprising news - she refunded both my security deposit and last month's rent which surprised the hell out of me! I'm guessing she's afraid I'll sue her for lack of accommodation and discrimination. Bad news is that means she's still alive. If the apple head voodoo doll I made of her would have worked, she should be dead by now...just saying. This is a perfect likeness: