The Psychopath

I arrived in Tucson on November 1st ready to take possession of the little apartment owned by the pathological lying bully of a landlady, now referred to as "The Psychopath" or abbreviated, "Psycho". My plan was to lay low, be quiet, avoid contact, and not incur her wrath for any reason. During the lease negotiations, everything I said or questioned she perceived as a personal attack so my plan was to be invisible. I kept her abreast of my progress: arrival in Tucson, unloading of storage, then approximate arrival at the apartment. She wasn't there. My greatest fear is she just wouldn't hand over the keys and I would be homeless. I texted and waited.

Twenty minutes later as we sat in 100-degree weather, she arrived, no apology, but clearly unmoored by seeing my friend with me. She talked incessantly and at length repeating the same stories I had already heard, giving me detailed instructions on what I could and couldn't do in the apartment, how to clean things, what cleaning products to use. I just kept thinking, give her time to adjust to a new person and she will be fine. This compulsive control over every detail was odd to say the least, but my friend assured me elderly people are just like that.

My first panic was realizing the mattress was scented! The apartment was partially furnished. I requested some things to be removed: the small table too small for a desktop computer, the towels and kitchen supplies. With only 194 square feet, every object was restrictive. Psycho was not having it. I told her I didn't want to feel like a temporary guest, but rather, wanted to feel like I was home and if I would be signing a one-year lease this was important. (The ad for the apartment offered a month-to-month, but I think she took one look at my credit score and said only a one-year lease was available.) After much deliberation, she did remove more than I expected. I wanted the mattress so I wouldn't have to buy another and upon initial inspection, there was no stink. I decided to take the plastic mattress covers I used to pack items and wrap the mattress in plastic. I would feel like a toddler sleeping on crunchy plastic, but I could do this for a year.

I made the mistake of sending her the Inspection Report that was attached to the lease, listing every issue with the apartment anticipating she would blame me for every problem once my lease was up because that is exactly what a dishonest piece of garbage would do. The appliances, windows, and floors were filthy. There was long black hair all over the bathroom. Damage to the walls and the paint job was horrifying with three different types of paint, four different colors of white alone, and paint splatters all over her precious floor. (Calling out the bad paint job was important as she kept harassing me about painting, convinced I would paint behind her back, AND she left a can of paint under the sink! That felt like a set up.) I attached it to a very friendly email. She said I was exaggerating and lying. She claimed she had photos she took before I moved in. I didn't respond as I was trying to be invisible. I didn't tell her I took over 150 date-stamped photos as my proof. I tried to ignore all the dog shit she never cleans up on the courtyard. The dog's new toilet was right in front of the gate where I have to walk to get off the property. I took daily photos of date-stamped dog shit.

Psycho never did relax. For the next three weeks she watched me (security cameras all over), sometimes showing up at my door when I returned. I wondered if she had cameras in the apartment, but I never found any evidence. Complaining, demanding, warning, and texting constantly. I tiptoed around the apartment afraid to touch silverware that would clatter too loudly. She told me how I was to clean the apartment and what products I was allowed to use.

Then the harassment began. She decided I need to pay for renters' insurance. I needed to buy new rugs for the apartment since she claimed I hated her rugs. (I did NOT say I hated her rugs, but that I had a rug that matched the color of the walls.) She wouldn't let me handwash nor hang clothes in the courtyard and demanded I go to a laundromat. After I stopped, she accused me of continuing to wash clothes and dump the water in the courtyard where her dog was getting muddy. She constantly threatened me if I didn't remember to close the gate and lock it. Two weeks into the month and she demanded an inspection giving me 48 hours-notice. She never showed. Around this time, she decided I was using too much internet data, and I needed to start paying for internet service. I tried keeping my head down, not to incite her anger and her unhinged temper tantrums. I was honestly afraid if I defended myself or voiced my opinion, she'd accuse me of elderly abuse. I was so stressed I was constantly shaking, unable to eat, and did everything possible to not be in the apartment. I made an appointment with a lawyer.

Then Psycho did the unthinkable...Monday morning something strongly scented started wafting through the heating system. Now, Psycho likes it hot. She would jack up that heat to 85 degrees. I didn't mind. She told me early on if it gets too hot to close the vents and open the windows. I really don't mind hot. I moved to get out of cold. I wondered if this stink was scented laundry detergent, but it smelled too strong like air fresheners. Not only did I close the vents, seal them with plastic, open the windows, point fans out the windows, bought and turned on an air purifier, and wore a mask while in the apartment. The stink smelled like the bed. I carefully sent her an email letting her know I was deathly allergic to scented products and asking for her help with this. She told me she didn't know what I was talking about. I started sleeping in my car, but away from the apartment as I was afraid if she caught me, she'd have more to yell about.

After I told the lawyer of my rental situation, she said the landlady sounds mentally ill. She suggested I contact Arizona Disability Services for guidance on discrimination and try to get out of the lease as neither of us is happy about our agreement. She also advised me not to worry about elderly abuse accusations and feel free to defend myself and respond to her accusations. Psycho seemed to settle down when I used the words "disability" and "discrimination". I sent her a certified letter Request of Accommodation which she ignored. She said she would let me out of my lease if I moved out by the end of the month (one week). I told her I'd think about it. Where would I go? I was still thinking there was hope if she would cease the scented products and desist with the harassment.

Then she got really nice. I have a feeling she might have consulted a lawyer. She said we could work it out, she would have the vents cleaned, and I would have to buy a new mattress for myself. She continued to insulted me several times, telling me I don't know what I'm talking about (more gaslighting), saying I was one of the worst tenants she ever had, and complained repeatedly vent cleaning would cost $2,000 (which I think was another lie according to friend of mine who said it never costs that much). She couldn't tell me how they would clean the vents and I worried it would make the situation worse if they used chemicals. She continued to text me all the time, demanding to know when I was going to buy the new mattress, when I would need to let the vent cleaners in, and informing me if I wanted to terminate the lease I could but she didn't care either way (another lie).

I couldn't imagine spending a whole year with Psycho's harassment as clearly it was not going to stop. I opted to terminate the lease. She said we didn't need a formal document (another lie). I requested the termination through email and she approved through email. November 30th at 6:00pm would be my deadline. I had everything moved out and the apartment cleaned by November 26th (making sure she couldn't accuse me of abandonment). At that last load in my little car, I was breathing a sigh of relief (pun intended), but knowing it's not over. I requested my security deposit and last month's rent returned giving her a UPS mailbox address for my forwarding address. 

On November 30th, she texts me one last time to tell me she can't be there at 6:00pm to get the keys and I should lock the apartment and gate, and throw them over the wall. I found this to be outrageously stupid. Suppose they end up in a garden lost? Who is she going to blame? She threatened if I don't give her back keys, she will hire a locksmith, and deduct it from my security deposit. I text back and told her the keys are on the counter and the doors and gates are locked. (I didn't tell her they had been on the counter all week.)

Good news, surprising news - she refunded both my security deposit and last month's rent which surprised the hell out of me! I'm guessing she's afraid I'll sue her for lack of accommodation and discrimination. Bad news is that means she's still alive. If the apple head voodoo doll I made of her would have worked, she should be dead by now...just saying. This is a perfect likeness:

Rental Searches

In September of 2024 with a fifty-day deadline, I headed back to Tucson to find a rental. 

I stayed at a different airbnb owned by my potentially-future real estate agent and began my search. 

My chemical-sensitivity requirements were: no carpet, no gas appliances, no mold/mildew or musty stink, no air fresheners, no candles, small, no new construction or remodeling due to chemical off-gassing, nice neighbors, with a washer and internet connection. I was hoping for under $1,000 a month, but willing to consider as high as $1,300 a month. I spent a week in Tucson with appointments all day long. I saw quite a few that were being remodeled but didn't trust they would be offgassed and safe by the time I needed to live in them. By the last day, I was driving to and from appointments CRYING in disappointment afraid I'd be homeless by the end of the month. My requirements were impossible and I was running out of time and options.

Around the third day of my trip, I was horribly sick. At first I thought it was because of the exposures of the various rentals, but realized it was the airbnb! Something was wrong with the portable air conditioner which was contaminating the air. (Later I did some research and discovered air conditioning created really bad indoor air quality!) I spent the last days of my trip sleeping in the bathtub as the bathroom was the only safe space. What a nightmare! This illness also compromised my ability to assess the rental spaces.

I found one apartment that might work. It was described as a casita, but it wasn't. It was advertised as 300 square feet, it wasn't. I was told the shared wall was sound-proof and smell-proof, it wasn't. It was advertised as $855 a month with all utilities and internet service, it wasn't. Then the 81-year old landlady said something that caught my attention...she was sensitive to perfumes and fresh paint. This gave me hope! At least she wouldn't poison me!

During the showing I noticed the walls had not been painted although the advertisement said it was. I was happy about this lack of toxic paint smell, however, there were holes in them, patching, scratches, the colors were painted into the white ceiling. It was ugly. Because of the risk of new paint, I offered to paint it for her before I moved in using low VOC paint. I'm great at painting. She said absolutely NOT and she was sure I'd throw it all over and make a mess. She almost didn't rent it to me for fear I would paint on the sly. Who turns down a free paint job? She continued to harass me about painting even after I moved in.

By the time it came to sign the lease, the landlady raised the price twice first from $855 to $955 and then to $995. She constantly tried to gaslight me into believing, "That price was what it was advertised for." She deleted the listing without deleting the "Price History" which clearly shows the lower price. (She eventually deleted the "Price History", too, when I called her on her lies!) "You can always back out," she kept repeating. She didn't realize I didn't have any other options. She also said it came with all utilities and internet, but later she changed her mind. She said it came with a washer if I sign a one-year lease, again, she changed her mind again. Later I found out the walls are neither scent-proof or sound-proof, and the space was much smaller than 300 square feet. She lied about nearly everything!

I signed the lease thinking I can do this for one year just to get me moved and in Tucson. I dreaded moving into an apartment managed by a compulsive, pathologically lying psychopath. I was no longer excited about moving to Tucson. I didn't have a choice. I imagined the worse...

And the worst came true...

To be continued.

Desperation = Stupidity

There aren't many rentals out there right now and I'd say for every one advertised there are at least thirty applicants. More if the place is clean, maintained, and in a decent neighborhood. Competition is tough. In the recent past I've been put on waiting lists as the landlords are overwhelmed by the response. Besides my long lists of non-toxic needs, this competition makes it even more difficult to find a new home. I want desperately to move out of Rathole. I'm a prisoner here. It's depressing.

I found another rental. The key is to respond as soon as they are posted, but I was told it was rented and the guy backed out. I should have taken that as a sign. It's a small, freestanding cottage with a small yard. I had misgivings right away as it's located in the same town as the Moldy Slumlady's mold-invested dive, but I was going to be up in that area and I thought I'd just look. Just look. Famous last words.

It was small and cute with a little bedroom loft. It had all electric appliances and heat and real hardwood floors. It also had a carpet, but the carpet had been offgassing for four years. They allowed pets. Carpet and pets on my "no way" list. It also had a non-existent crawlspace sealed up with wood planks with little evidence of ventilation...and a roof covered in moss. That screams MOLD. Third strike, your out! I should have high-tailed it back to my van and drove away, instead I walked inside expecting to smell mildew and mold. For a flash of a moment I did smell something, and then it stopped. That was weird. Then nothing. I smelled nothing. This gave me great amount of hope. I liked the landlady. She also didn't stink. She was an organic gardener.

Fifteen minutes later my head did a little spin and stopped. That was weird. Then my lungs started feeling heavy, but it was minor. I stalled, buying time to stay in the space and continued to breathe deeply. The spin and lung issue was a little perplexing. Did the former tenants have cats? There are two heaters in this tiny space, both on full blast. The place is hot. Is that what caused my reaction or is the heat camouflaging the smell.

As I inspected the place, I'm finding it unreasonably dirty with dead bugs in the window sills and soap scum in the shower. Old, used soap is left in the dispenser. Gross. I justified all this with no one is as clean as I am and instead of registering this as a concern I wondered if I'm just a weirdo and need to be reasonable. I'm not looking for perfection, just safety. I took an application and the landlady told me to get it back to her by the weekend as that's when she'd be making her choice. This house was being rented month to month (so rare) and the landlady wasn't charging for the application nor credit check (so rare). It didn't cost anything to take the application or even submit it. Still my instincts are screaming at me. The head spin and lung reaction was a little unnerving, but it was minor and went away immediately. What am I missing? Can I do this?

I sought counseling from my two closest friends. One is a nurse. Neither are chemically sensitive. I list my concerns hoping one of them would recognize my idealistic pattern of ignoring the obvious. I even expressed the concern the landlady reminded me of the Moldy Slumlady: both are from California, about the same age, have organic gardens, and both own a house that used to be a garage without an inadequate foundation. My friends tell me to jump right in there and give it a shot. Both know I'm desperate and are trying to be supportive. Advice is free and neither of them will lose money because of my bad decisions.

So why am I ignoring the obvious?

Once I'm home I fill out the application and email it to the landlady. Why not? What do I have to lose? Yet. When the landlady started calling my references, I start praying she doesn't pick me. But I AM selected! Out of 35 applicants, the landlady wants me. I WIN! Damn...

But my instincts still are screaming at me. Do I listen?

I email the landlady asking her more specific questions:

Is there a plastic vapor barrier under the house? NO.

Were the carpets cleaned before my visit? NO.

Did she use any air fresheners before my visit?  I asked this because during my visit my head was spinning, but I smelled nothing. Did she use Febreze which would have annihilated my sense of smell? Perhaps the chemicals caused the spin? NO. She claimed she doesn't use air fresheners nor toxic cleaners.

She figured out really quickly I was chemically sensitive and did tell me there is a mill in the town. I knew that. I've been in that town many times with no reaction. I told her I was worried about the foundation and crawlspace as without a vapor barrier there would be mold issues. She claimed when they remodeled there was no mold to be found anywhere. She has asthma and is very sensitive to mold and chemicals as well. This gave me great hope. I made the assumption the carpets just needed a good cleaning. I volunteered to do it for her since I had the non-toxic shampoo. She had the carpet cleaner.

WHY am I volunteering to clean a rental that should be clean before I arrive? Why am I even considering a filthy place that screams loudly THESE PEOPLE ARE SLOBS.

This is where I should have walked away, but I'm desperate. I want it to work. My instincts are screaming at me and I'm ignoring them. I planned to go look at it one more time and then I'll decide if I want to give this woman money. For a moment I consider I should stay the night in it before I sign anything, but the carpets were never cleaned. I wouldn't last the night sleeping in the same space as filthy carpets.

I looked a second time. This time I don't smell anything. My head doesn't spin. My lungs don't even hurt or feel heavy. I check the ceiling for any leaks. I ask about the overabundance of heaters and why the house is kept so hot. She doesn't give me any reasons just how wonderfully they work. Heat would camouflage stink, but I forget that. I want so desperately for this to work. I look at the floors and walls. At one point I get on my knees down on the carpet to check a corner and when I get up I have long white fur all over my black pants. I ask the woman if the previous tenants had cats and she says they shouldn't have, but maybe they did without her knowing. I make the ignorant assumption I might be reacting to cats and if the carpets are cleaned, that might do the trick. I'm being hopeful and idealistic, but I need this to work.

I sign over an enormous amount of money to cover security deposit and rent and she hands me the keys along with the carpet shampooer. I vacuum and clean the carpets. Immediately I feel sick and my head starts spinning. The water the carpet cleaner is sucking up is nearly black with dirt. So gross. How can people live in such filthy? Granted, on the surface the place looks clean, just don't look too closely. The longer I'm in the house, the sicker I get. I'm tempted to rip up a corner of the carpet to see what's under. At one point I leave to go out to my van, come back in and I can smell the musty stink in the air. Is it mold? Did the moisture from the carpet cleaner incite the mold spores in the air? The electric heaters would have dried the inside of the house out. By the time I leave I am so sick my whole body is hurting, but I think I just need to get away. At this point I'm STILL hopeful!

I have yet to sign up for electricity, garbage, and internet. Internet is a one year commitment. Is it mold? Is it the carpet? Is it the pet dirt? All these things are on my NO WAY list, so why did I even consider them for a second? I kept thinking if I can fix whatever problem, I'd be fine. That's what I did with my house. I fixed it and it's safe. But with a rental, I forget I don't have the luxury of making changes. It's not my house. The landlady is adamant there is no mold so she's not going to let me fix something that isn't there. I'm feeling worse with every passing minute. By the time I get home I'm feeling the full effects of some kind of exposure.

I call the landlady when I get home and tell her I can't move in. I consider I should wait a week and go back, but then I would lose two months rent instead of one. She tells me it might be the mill as it causes people to get sick. I tell her it's mold. She tells me it isn't. I keep wondering why Californians don't think a vapor barrier under a house is necessary. She thinks it might be the carpet, maybe residue from past cleanings. I doubt it. I saw the dirt that came up. I doubt if those carpets had ever been cleaned. I wonder why the HELL I cleaned them and she didn't? I give her my 30 day notice according to the rental agreement I signed less than five hours ago (how ridiculous). She tells me to sleep on it and decide in the morning. She wants me to be the tenant. Even though we are talking on the phone I can hear the dollar signs cha-changing in her eyes. I'm the winner after all.

All night I can't breathe, my body itches and burns, my head pounds and I feel sick to my stomach. This isn't cats. I haven't had a reaction like this for a long time. Even the house of the Moldy Slumlady didn't affect me like this. Anytime I start to doze off I wake up gasping for air. The landlady didn't realize "sleeping on it" would only make me feel worse. By the morning my decision is clear and I give an official notice. I lose $700 in less than 12 hours. She said she will return my security deposit. She claims she has to go through the application process again. I tell her she doesn't if she had 35 applicants. This is how she justifies keeping money she doesn't deserve. This is my reward for being the winning candidate, the responsible one, and my reward for ignoring my instincts. Lucky me.

No more rentals for me. Not only should I not be wandering into strange, toxic homes, but I don't even have the sense to trust my instincts. I'm an idiot and it's too expensive to keep trying. At this point I'm convinced I'll never be able to find a place to rent that's reasonably priced unless I want to be in a slum, and I can't afford to buy a new home in a nice neighborhood. Cheap rent or cheap mortgage and I'd be stuck once again in a trailer-trash community where all the poor people and their low-class barking dogs congregate. Whatever move I make, rent or buy, I can't imagine it'll be an improvement. I might as well stay right where I am. At least it's safe, that's if I can manage the growing depression due to my circumstances. I am a prisoner.

I wish I could find an advocate. Someone who understands chemical sensitivity who would keep my instincts in check and go to bat for me. Someone to scream at me, Look at what you are saying, IDIOT, this isn't right for you! If I end up in the hospital unconscious, I'd need someone like this. A body guard to stand over my helpless body and scream at doctors and nurses, Keep those nasty chemicals and drugs away from her! Are you wearing perfume, you ignorant fool, stand back! I think anyone who is chemically sensitive needs an advocate. I'd be a good advocate for a chemically-sensitive person. If I knew anyone in my area, I'd volunteer for them.

Unfortunately, I am alone. Only the stupid move to Rathole and get stuck here.

Rental Roulette

OK. I've been building my courage back up since last spring and I'm ready to jump back in and start looking at rentals again.

I desperately need to get out of Rathole and away from its psychopathic inhabitants.

Living here is making me crazy.

It's difficult to find a place that fits my requirements:

Small: studio or one bedroom, two bedrooms if I must.

No carpeting.

No laminate or linoleum flooring, hardwood  or tile preferred.

No propane.

Electrical appliances: stove, oven, heaters, refrigerator, washer and dryer.

No close neighbors.

No dog neighbors.

No noise.

No pets allowed.

No smoking allowed.

Not too expensive rent.

Not too expensive utilities.

Internet available.

No mold.

Good foundation.

No particle board.

No stink.

Clean and well-maintained.

Organic groceries nearby.

Nice landlords, preferably not living on the property. I like privacy.


Is my wish list even attainable? I can compromise on some of it.

I found a cabin to rent! It is a one bedroom with a huge porch facing the water. WATERFRONT property! Clams and oysters twenty feet from my backdoor! Most of the neighbors are weekenders so they are rarely around. The closest neighbor is about 100 feet away, a house owned and rented by the same landlord who doesn't allow pets. New appliances. Electric heat. Hardwood floors. Washer and dryer in the cabin. Lots of windows. Lots of trees. Lots of privacy. Low rent. Internet.

Perfect.

I went for a visit with my handy safety checklist clutched tightly in my sweaty palms. So quiet. The wind through the trees sounded beautiful. Waves lapping on the shore. This is paradise. The neighborhood was upper middle class in the woods with houses far apart. There is a creek running down to the water between my cabin and the house next door. I can barely see the neighbor's house through the trees. The door wasn't locked so I went in. Perfect. There was a very faint "new" smell. Was it the paint, floor, or appliances? Hmmm... I walked over to the other rental, a huge house right on the water, and knocked. No barking dogs! So rare! I asked the man what he knew about the rental and the neighborhood. He seemed really nice and had nothing but good things to say. He also likes quiet. Too perfect.


I call the landlord and talk to her husband. They live out of state. How perfect! He gives me more perfect information about the perfect neighbors, the perfect town, the perfect area, and then he says, "The reason we don't allow animals is because there is a rabbit on the property that runs free."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY? RABBIT? DID YOU SAY RABBIT?"  It's a sign!!! Peter has sent me a sign that this is my new, perfect home! I'm sure the landlord's husband thought I was crazy. I start gushing, "I LOVE BUNNIES!" After several more minutes of more perfect information, I hung up determined to live in that perfect little cabin on the water come hell or high water...

Hell? Did I say Hell? Hell is a reminder of how bad it can be. What am I missing? I was determined not to make the same mistake as last time, but I am so desperate for something to work that all rational thinking disappears and I stop seeing the reality. What am I missing? Time to turn on my brain. Flip the switch. Maybe if I actually look at my checklist I'll come back down to earth.

After I hung up with the landlord's husband I fought the urge to jump in my car for home so I can fill out the application and GIVE them my deposit. I am far too free with giving deposits! It's like I'm convinced if I give the deposit, then all will work out.  I've learned with experience, it doesn't work that way. I hesitated. I sat in my van pondering. I decide to stall. Slow down.

I called my friend who lives nearby. I needed some counseling and a reason to sit there and gain some insight. I needed a reality check. I can always count on her for a reality check. I know I'm talking a mile a minute and I know I'm blind to anything I'm missing. As I'm babbling about how perfect it all is, I go back into the house to give her the "phone" tour. "It's perfect," I exclaim over and over as I describe the details.

I start noticing things...why are the floors buckling in places? I keep telling her, "There are bubbles on the floors."  The ad said the floors were hardwood, but they don't look like hardwood. They look plastic. Cheap, glossy plastic. And the longer I'm in the space, the stronger the smell is getting. I'm not sure if it's paint I'm smelling, but I don't think so. I know paint. This smells like my neighbor's new laminate flooring. As I talk to my friend and she walks me through a good reality check, I wait and stand in the space breathing and thinking, Oh, I can do this! It's just a little smell. As soon as I turn the heat on and warm the place up it'll go away. My friend tells me to turn the heat on. After 15 minutes I start clearing my throat. Repeatedly. I know this isn't a good sign, No, no, it'll be fine. I really want to live in this perfect place! It's perfect! No, this isn't happening.  After 25 minutes, my head starts spinning. For a moment I thought I would fall over from the dizziness. The floors can't be hardwood. They have to be laminate. This is how I react to laminate. The spinning head is my body screaming, WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! but I'm so determined to make it work I do everything possible to ignore it. Finally I can't anymore. Disappointed, but with still a thread of hope, I head back home and email the landlady to ask about the floors. She confirms the floors are hardwood, bamboo.

BAMBOO 

 

 

BAMBOO??? Bamboo is supposed to be one of the best flooring options available. It's supposed to be non-toxic, natural, and healthy. The landlady confirms, "Yes, bamboo is supposed to be the "greenist" flooring available." I don't get it.

 

Wrong. I got online and searched bamboo flooring smell and up pops...

 

 

FORMALDEHYDE

 

Sorry to say, bamboo flooring is made with formaldehyde. There are lots of people online questioning the strong, acidic smell and wondering why their new expensive floors are making them incredibly sick. Just to open the packing box makes their eyes water. Some say after ten months the stink is still there and they are unable to live in their newly built or remodeled homes. And these people aren't even chemically sensitive! Some articles claim the "premium bamboo" (not so cheap stuff) is less toxic because it uses less formaldehyde (3% rather than 20%), but the fact remains someone thought it best to contaminate a perfectly non-toxic piece of expensive wood by adding chemicals to it.

 

I AM SO DISAPPOINTED.

 

You can't imagine how disappointed I am. Depressed. I want to cry. At least I didn't mindlessly and idealistically fill out an application and hand over a deposit before I came to my senses, or rather, before my head started spinning so hard my senses finally flew out.

 

 

Thank you, URFA, for helping me be rational, kicking and screaming all the way.

 

My desperation makes me dangerously brainless and irrational. I am so not good at this rental search.

 

It's so disappointing....Bamboo. Who would have thought?

The Housing Search, Updates

I'm still searching for a safe place to live. Here's my update...



My favorite rental: a tiny castle.

Rentals

There seems to be a huge population of people trying to rent right now. This puts the advantage in the hands of the landlords. They can afford to be picky.

I am not having much luck. If the rental is clean, well-maintained and in great shape, the owners don't allow pets. Some have cautiously said my rabbit would be fine, but I can always tell they aren't so excited about him even if I swear he will never be in the house. Even if the safe, clean, well-maintained dwelling allows pets, it goes fast. I'm pretty sure any mention of my outdoor rabbit and the prospective landlords opt for a non-pet owning renter if given the choice. This puts me at a huge and frustrating disadvantage.  Most of the nicer rentals are outside my budget as well and those that are out of town are difficult to drive to at a moments notice, again, putting me at a disadvantage. I haven't given up...renting would afford me the luxury of trying out different locations before committing to a real estate purchase. I just think it'll be easier without my floppy-eared, outdoor-living roommate.


Trailers and RVs

It seems the key to finding a safe trailer is one that is used and already modified for chemically sensitive people. Taylor Airstreams did contact me and said they are no longer focusing their business on trailers although they didn't say why. I've heard trying to build a non-toxic dwelling for people who's sensitivities are so variable has a number of risks. Customers who have invested all their money into something that doesn't work for them can be very unhappy. Taylor has had to deal with too many lawsuits. I can imagine this is a challenge for the designers, or maybe just a headache. The process of paying for the consultation, planning and remodel in advance before knowing if it will work doesn't appeal to me. Too risky and too many people have told me even the Taylor Airstreams are problematic due to the glues they use. I think I need to buy something already modified so I can spend time in it first. My hesitation here is I wouldn't have any idea what I'm looking at or whether or not it has problems outside health issues.

Some people have modified their own trailers or found someone to do it for them. I've heard some real horror stories about the modification process and the toxicity they find in the walls or floors and I'm hearing some real hardship stories about what it's like to live in one. This doesn't give me confidence. I haven't made contact with anyone living in one who is on the road. Still looking....

MCS Communities

I have discovered some information on MCS communities.

Escalante House in Escalante, Utah was being planned in 1999 with $20,000 start-up funds and their grant documentation is still online HERE. Their plan was to buy and develop 325 acres in the hinterlands of Utah selling 6 acre plots with bylaws to guarantee chemical-free living. Sounds perfect! Unfortunately, that's all I can find out. The organizing partners were going to give the plan a year to get off the ground. There is no other information to be found. I've attempted to contact the planners through the email address and telephone number on the grant proposal, but everything is disconnected or defunct. I've posted on some MCS housing sites, but no one has responded with information. Too bad we can't get organized to make this happen!

Seagoville Ecological Housing Facility in Seagoville, Texas, east of Dallas is in existence. It sounds like a large property with a variety of architectural dwellings from trailers to small eco-friendly dwellings. There are some photos HERE. The website says it's $45.00 per day, $350.00 per week, and $845.00 per month. I didn't check on the availability of housing. Not sure if I'm interested in living in Texas, but at least this is an option. I would like to visit.

UPDATE: I've heard from people who have visited and who have lived at the Seagoville location. Not a lot of positive feedback, in fact, I'd steer clear!

Environmental Health Center apartments in Dallas, TX. The requirement here is you must be a patient of Dr. William Rea in Dallas. The online photos show apartments that look very clean and non-toxic as well as sparse. I don't think you are allowed many personal items and you definitely aren't allowed a rabbit.

Dolan Springs in northern Arizona there is a small community building slowly. I haven't heard much on this area, but it sounds like Snowflake only more expensive.

The Commons on the Alameda Co-Housing Community in Santa Fe, New Mexico sounds like a great place or so I've heard, however, I'm not seeing any fragrance-free or chemical-free guidelines on their site so I'm not clear how this community is for the chemically sensitive. At the time of this post, they have one 2200 square foot house for sale at $425,000 which is way beyond my budget and size preferences.

Quail Haven Community north of Tucson, Arizona. I'm not getting a clear vision of this community, nor understand how many people actually live there. Several people have emailed me to let me know they have been there or lived there for a short time. My first few web hits indicated it is a community and lots were being sold, but most people tell me about the house Diane Ensign owns and has been trying to sell for years. She rents it out along with an apartment over a garage. But is it a community? Unclear. I've emailed Diane but she's currently in Montana without much Internet access. Advantages of area: beautiful desert landscaping, mountains above Tucson so air is clean, Tucson is close with culture...friendliest bicycle city in the country. Gotta love that. Disadvantages: EMFs, drive to Tucson for organic food is too long, hellish dust, weird weather, overpriced land. There seems to be a lot of chemically sensitive people living around Tucson, but not necessarily in Quail Haven. Most people I talk to about Quail Haven suggest I go to Snowflake....

Snowflake, Arizona...I don't think I can rule this community out just yet. I did talk to someone who has been living there for a few years in a trailer and is now building a house. She thinks some of the negative information I've received isn't correct. She doesn't think there is a lack of contractors in the area and she is loving the guy she hired who had a house built for her in just over 4 months. Regarding the pig farm and forest fires, although these negatives are true she hasn't notice a problem and says no place will be perfect, but Snowflake is darn close. I'm still attracted to the cheap land.

Unless I built an air-conditioned garage, Peter wouldn't like Arizona. He has no summer clothes...

Although there are many eco-villages around the country focusing on sustainable living and share some philosophies for healthy practices needed by MCSers, none have specific bylaws requesting chemically-free practices. Living in such close proximity to others, I require some non-toxic rules.

Builders

I met Joseph Becker of ION Ecobuilding who builds sustainable houses specializing in straw-clay houses. He is currently building at the Port Townsend Eco-Village and gave me a tour of his own personal experiment which will be his office when finished.

 

It's only 200 square feet plus a loft and built with all found materials and straw-clay insulation.

 

 

See the roof over the front porch? That will be a "living" roof with plants. Cool!

 

 

There is a pull-down ladder to the loft. Is this dwelling non-toxic? Maybe, but he had just oiled some of the surfaces with, I think, linseed oil and it was driving me nuts. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I know linseed oil is what people use to seal earthen floors, and it might offgas nicely, but I don't know for sure. I'd have to nix the linseed oil.

 

MOST IMPORTANT ADVICE SO FAR...

If your house is relatively safe, don't give it up until you are absolutely certain your new home is safe.

The MCSer who gave this advice speaks from experience and warned me how easy it is to end up living a migrant life, moving from place to place because nothing works, and always too close to homelessness. She is currently living in a leaky remodeled Airstream, in the desert, with no insulation, on land that her ex-boyfriend owns and is kind enough to allow her to stay for free.

Her advice isn't new information, but a good reminder of how bad it can get. It has been my plan all along not to sell my house until I am somewhere stable and guaranteed safe. Every now and then I get anxious and want to sell the house first so I have the enough money to purchase, but this past year of looking for a place to live and not finding anything has been a wake-up call. The Moldy Slumlord from last Spring also reminded me how bad it could get and made me incredibly grateful I had a refuge to return to that was relatively safe. I won't take chances. The reality is I could end up very ill or homeless if I'm not careful. There are so many who are homeless...

Slumlords and Refunds: Let the Games Begin

May 2, 2013 

It's been almost 14 days since confronting the landlady about the mold and insect problems. Although she said it would take a few days to refund my money since she needed to wait for my checks to clear the bank, I have received nothing. According to my online banking account, my checks cleared the same day as our conversation. For almost two weeks I've been stressing. Anger stress. Stress is very motivating. I've spent all that energy researching landlord-tenant laws, emailing attorneys, and calling legal self-help lines.

Attorneys are worse than landlords. If you've read some of my older blogs, you know I have a little experience with them. In between calls and emails I chanted to myself, "The only people to benefit in a lawsuit are the lawyers." It's all about money to them and any way they can suck it out of you. Several people I spoke to said many attorneys give free consultations. Yeah, right. I emailed one and asked if he gave free consultations or what his rates were. He suggested I contact a low-income organization for free advice. He didn't even entertain the possibility I could be his client. Maybe he thought if I even bothered to ask for a free consultation I couldn't afford him?  Another said he only represents landlords. Again, assuming I'm a renter and not an owner of property I can't possibly have enough money to afford him. Sounds like economic discrimination to me. Another attorney agreed to a phone conversation but wouldn't answer any of my questions unless I threw money at him. Most didn't even answer my emails! The problem is I am not trained in law nor do I know tricks to research statutes, codes, and regulations so I need advice in order to proceed effectively. One small slip could throw it all in the toilet. I did find attorney in my little town who was informative and kind, but he told me I needed an attorney in the county where the rental is located. Damn. Why is justice so difficult?


Although moldy landlady said a few days, she's a liar. I already knew this. Still, I gave her the benefit of the doubt and waited in hopes she'd do the right thing and send my money back to me. I also know fourteen days is always the magical deadline with rental agreements of any kind and she would need to do something within this time frame or she would be required to refund my deposit no matter what. Sure enough, I received a letter from her on day twelve. She refunded one month's rent for the month of May, plus four days of the ten days I rented in April, She kept the deposit and six days of rent. WHY did she keep six days of rent? Because it took six days for her to receive the written, signed, certified letter from me. She's not counting from the day I told her, but is squeezing out as much money as possible. Sorry...I call that petty.

Problem is now that she's refunded half my money, the stakes are lower so this voids out the use of a lawyer because the lawyer would cost more than any money I'd get returned. Maybe this was her strategy? Maybe she contacted her attorney and this was his/her advice? According to the wording of the lease if it were a normal situation and I just bailed for the fun of it, not only should I lose my deposit, but also be responsible for rent until the space is re-rented. The problem with this logic is how easy will it be for her to re-rent a moldy, insect-infested house? She's going to have to find someone as blind as I am. I also know moldy landlady is very picky about who she wants living on her property, so she's not going to rent it to just anyone. Sending me a partial refund is a strategy rather than a lease stipulation. I think she knows she can't keep my money because she can't rent it again until she forks out lots of money to fix it, but she's hoping this partial refund will satisfy me. And I'll walk away.

Not hardly. So here is my next step: Research. Hey, that's what we pay lawyers to do although I know for a fact they are much better at it than I am. There are state laws to read, ordinances to understand, and regulations to interpret. Some states, like California, have mold disclosure laws so the landlord MUST disclose the presence of black mold. California is always way ahead of everyone. My state doesn't. We have a "mold information law." The landlords are required to tell you about mold. How incredibly useless and ridiculous. Still, there are state law codes that will help my situation and override the lease.

For instance, she failed to provide a rental space that is habitable. Instead, the rental has issues that would "endanger the health and safety of tenants" and according to the Center for Disease Control, the Environmental Protection Agency, my state laws and most intelligent people, mold is a health hazard. She also failed to provide a "reasonable program for the control of insect infestation". Therefore, moldy landlady is derelict in her duties as a landlord and is guilty of managerial negligence. She is not compliant with state laws. She'll be getting a letter from me highlighting the state laws in question, listing my rights to health and safety as a tenant, re-summarizing the situation in conjunction with my lack of fault and her irresponsibility, emphasizing her managerial negligence, and demanding my full refund.

I'm not going away without a fight. I'm tired of people thinking they can take my money and screw me over. If she played this game with five more people, she'd have enough money to remodel the whole building. If in response to my letter she seeks the advice of an attorney...cha-ching. It'll cost her.  To go to court she better be very certain she did comply with state laws, which she didn't. It would be cheaper and in her best interest to just give me back my money. It's not like she did anything to earn it.

Checkmate, Moldy Slumlord. You're move.

May 24, 2013

I gave her until May 26th to return my money. Why so much time? I have no idea. Why a Sunday? I have no idea. I must have picked some random day that sounded good. Again, she waited until the last minute to meet the deadline. Today I get a certified letter from the slumlord accusing me of trying to take advantage of her because she is in a wheelchair with a broken foot. How am I taking advantage of her? She has my money; I don't have hers! In the letter she says she's refunding the six days of rent she previously didn't refund, not because of any legal obligation, but because she feels sorry for me. She kept the deposit. If she feels sorry for me, then why not refund the deposit, too?  I'm never quite sure of her refund rationale.

As someone who is chemically sensitive, how do I take her to small claims court? What happens if the judge is wearing perfume? Or the court reporter? Do I walk out? Suppose the slumlord wears perfume? If I walk out, will I be fined? I know if I walk out the case may be ruled in her favor so then what choice do I have? How does the law work for the chemically sensitive if courtroom exposures may limit our participation? It's a system of discrimination.

I'm just so grateful I got out of there when I did! I'm so glad I never have to have any contact with this slumlord or her moldy house again. It has definitely been a learning experience and it only cost $490. Cheaper than going to college!

Dodging Bullets

I deleted my last post called, "The Commitment". For those of you who read it, you are aware I inspected the rental cottage and satisfied it was clean and safe, signed the one-year lease. I was so thrilled and excited to move into my new place and finally be a resident of a wonderful community. The memory now horrifies me.

So clean. So deceiving.

 

I spent five hours cleaning, scrubbing and sterilizing every surface. As in past moves, this affords me the confidence to know everything is clean and safe. Unfortunately, I kept finding very odd signs of problems. Most I didn't understand, but I kept right on cleaning excited to finally find a home after many months of searching. Nothing a little cleaning won't take care of, right?

My first discovering was the cleaning people who were hired a month before didn't do a very good job. They missed the blinds totally and the filth matched the rug the landlady tried to give me. Really disgusting. But dirt doesn't necessarily mean danger so I kept working.

The next discovery was a little problematic. Under the kitchen counter there was a rubber-coated metal garbage receptacle attachment. It was dirty, caked with food, peeling and rusted. There were bits of old, dried food behind it. (I think the money the landlady paid the cleaners was truly a waste.) The rust was a little odd, but at the time I wondered if spilled liquid left and not cleaned was to blame.

Then as I wiped down the new shelving paper on the bottom surface under the sink, I felt a bump. I peeled it up and underneath found a pile of yellow dust. Hmmm....Did someone repair? Drill? Saw? And leave saw dust? Maybe there was a moisture problem and it was fixed? That would explain the rust. Why did the cleaners cover it with the shelf paper? I removed the shelving paper and cleaned it up looking for evidence of repairs. Couldn't see anything. For a half of a second I considered bugs. Naw! The landlord wouldn't rent a space with an insect infestation.

As I cleaned the floor I kept seeing tiny specks of black dots. Dirt the cleaners missed? Fly poop? (Eeewww.) I knew this space had been used for storage for the last two years so flies would be normal and I knew the cleaners were bad. I kept cleaning.

My lungs were hurting and my sinuses burning so I opted not to stay in the house overnight. It just felt wrong like it needed to be cleaned again. 

This is where I'm embarrassed. Did someone shanghai my instincts? Why am I being so incredibly blind and optimistic?

My lungs, sinuses and head were hurting all night and the next day. The evidence was gnawing at me all day as I packed up more belongs to take to the rental. Finally I got online to search for clues.

"particle board yellow piles of dust"  This is evidence of wood-boring bugs, either carpenter ants, termites or wood-boring beetles and therefore, evidence of water saturation.

"tiny black dots linoleum"  MOLD. FUCKING MOLD. How did I miss evidence of mold before I signed the lease?  It seems these little black dots are the mold growing underneath the tiles and seeping through the porous surface. The mold will also push up the tiles. While cleaning I did come across one tile that was loose and made a note to glue it back down. Another indication of mold is black around the edges of the tiles. I saw this near the front door. It didn't wash away so it seemed hard. I assumed it was remnants of black adhesive, maybe repairs.  I have never seen mold before and only know how to prevent it.

Sunday night I was in a panic. Oh my god! I left my cleaning supplies, some dishes and a MATTRESS in the rental. I envisioned the little mold spores infecting everything. But I didn't know for sure. It was all I could do to sleep and wait for morning.

At five in the morning I drove to my new digs to confirm the signs of mold to prepare to get the hell out regardless of the cost due to the lease agreement. Sure enough, I pulled up the one loose tile and there is dark black mold growing underneath.

Mold growing under tile.

The tiny dots of black on top of the linoleum are not as obvious as the dots underneath. They were much smaller, almost microscopic. I could see them while cleaning because I was on my knees and close to them. Walking around looking at surfaces before I signed the lease, I expected mold to be very visible. There wasn't any on walls or in the corners where I expected it to be.

 

 

Mold seeping out from tile edges.

 

Looking under the kitchen sink, the bugs are back at work and there is new little mound of yellow dust started.

Infestation dust

Before leaving I took photos. I read you should put a dated newspaper in the photo, but I think you are supposed to do that when you move out. I figured it couldn't hurt.

Overflowing water next to foundation outside kitchen.

 

I also took a photo of the overflowing rain barrel outside the house near the kitchen area. Then I packed up all my supplies and my mattress and shivered the feeling of YUCK off me.

I knocked on the door of the landlady at 8:30 a.m. She was still in her nightie. She was surprised to see me and I apologized for getting her out of bed, but it couldn't wait. I told her I couldn't move in to the cottage as the space is contaminated with mold growing under the linoleum. I showed her the piece of tile with mold shadows on the under surface. She didn't look surprised, but she feigned ignorance whining, "I don't know why no one told me." Really? It didn't matter to me whether or not she knew. I continued to inform her about the bug infestation and showed her the shelving paper with dust.

Wood-boring bug dust on underside of shelving paper.

Although her chosen words indicated she was apologetic, her demeanor was not. I think she knew about the mold. How could she not? I repeated I couldn't believe the cleaners didn't tell her as it would have been very apparent to them. She looked uncomfortable. We also discussed the possible problems of the house, the fact it was closed up and used as storage with no heat, the crawlspace height, and the water barrels. She admitted to being the one who installed the linoleum. I told her even if she got an exterminator in the building to get rid of the bugs, I can't be in the same space with those chemicals. And according to online information, she was going to need to rip out all the linoleum and maybe remove the wood floors underneath to make it livable.

She told me she had just deposited my checks so it would be a few days before she could give me a refund. This sounded hopeful. She's not going to hold me to the lease? We'll see. I told her I would really appreciate it.

Then she slipped and said, "I wish I hadn't deleted all those other responses to my ad because now I will have to re-post it and go through the process again of finding another renter."

I just stared at her. "Are you sure you want to rent it out without fixing the problems first? That mold can cause real health damage." She stared at me. I don't think she has any intention of fixing the problems and is hoping to get a tenant to take responsibility for them. I'm torn. If she finds another renter, I'm not liable for the lease and future monthly rent payments, but how do I live with myself for allowing another renter in there? If she doesn't or can't find another renter because she has to fix the problems, I might be liable for twelve months of rent. That's a whole lot of money.

I kindly told her I was really disappointed as I was looking forward to living next to her. She said she was also looking forward to being neighbors and showing me around town. I asked if I could come by to visit if I find another place and she said yes. We said our good-byes and I got the hell out of there.

At home I sterilized everything with hot, soapy water and bleach. The mattress I left out in the sun to heat up. Light kills mold. Not much else I could do with a mattress.

I just dodged a bullet. A deadly bullet. Suppose I had moved out of my house and put everything in this rental? What would I have done if I didn't have my safe haven waiting for me to return? Supposed I had stayed the night? Or continued to ignore the warnings and never did that online research?

This has been a huge learning experience! First, I'm an idiot. Second, I can desperately rationalize anything in hopes of a good outcome. Third, my optimism is bad for my health.

The whole experience is frightening. I'm hoping I don't put myself in the line of fire again. I'm a bit gun shy right now. My house is looking really lovely these days. At least it's not going to kill me.

The Expedition

It was a three-hour drive out of the hinterlands. I wasn't sure what to expect. More hinterland? More trailer trash with dumpy houses and junk yard properties? No, it can't get worse than where I live now. Well, maybe it can! I braced for the worst doing my best not to get my hopes up too high.

The drive was absolutely stunning. I can't believe I've never road-tripped in that direction! Lots of green trees, sea water on one side, mountains on the other, and rain all around. The farm lands were spectacular and I spent the time dreaming of the perfect plot of land with a perfect little house on it just for me. Wonderful area. It would be good to rent here so I could take my time and explore. It has great potential.

Then I got to town. It was little, but big. Much bigger than my town, but it still felt small and quaint. Lots of different kinds of stores. I made it down to the old town center and it looked like something out of a western movie circa 1800. WOW! Oh, look at the Victorian mansions on the hill above! I headed up there and found what looked like a separate, second town center with a Farmers' Market!!! With gluten-free booths and organic produce! I was nearly hyperventilating I was so excited and amazed. Everyone was so nice. And gorgeous men walking around without a care in the world.

I found the co-op. Bigger than the one I shop at and the prices about the same, but you don't have to write those obnoxious codes for everything. Lots of nice, smiling people. Plenty of parking. So wonderful. The only thing wrong with it was they sell those damn unsweetened carob chips which are really hard to find. My weakness! Normally I have to drive an hour or more to buy them which controls my temptation. They are not on the Paleo-Hashimoto's diet.

Next I went in search of the cottage. I had an hour before the appointment. Hmmm...the landlady said her house was "on the other side of the property" from the cottage. I think she meant ten feet away. A little too close. I felt a little disappointed and then worried about what else she mislead me to believe or just didn't tell me. By that time though, I was in love with the town and determined to move there.



I went back down to the co-op to peruse their bulletin boards for other rental notices. I found a few. I asked employees where I should look for information and a customer standing nearby said he is currently renting while his house is being built. He warned most rentals are not advertised and to find a real estate agent or property manager for assistance. He gave me the name and address of his.

The real estate agent, non-smelly and eager as only real estate agents can be, was very helpful and kind. She didn't have much in the way of rentals, but we discussed property and tiny houses. Then she said, "Did you see the pods? Drive two blocks down the street and have a look." I had already been up and down that street several times so I wasn't sure what she was talking about. Pods?

PODS!!! OH MY GOD!! REAL LIFE PODS! Housing for the chemically sensitive made right here! I'll write a separate post for the company Greenpod. I felt as if I had come home! This is serendipity! I got so overwhelmed I'm pretty sure left my brain in one of the pods.

It was time for my appointment. I took one look at the landlady and felt a bond with her. She was my people!! I connected with her immediately. She had beautifully painted walls with original art on each one and such a warm smile and welcoming personality. She told me she moved to the area for the co-op. Same as me! Then her son came around the corner. He is so cute! Not the trailer trash, serial killers I expected.

The cottage was bigger than anticipated. I was expecting the size of a closet. Clean. The linoleum is ugly, but I can deal with that. Maybe I'll paint it? I asked about neighbors' dogs and any barking problems. The son points and as if on cue they are barking. But I didn't really notice it until he pointed it out. They are about 200 feet away. Hmmm...I tried to concentrate to determine if their noise would be too obnoxious, but every time I did, they would stop barking. I think they are far enough away that they wouldn't be too much bother. The rental is temporary so it'll be fine. The garden is beautiful, although a little overgrown and packed from fence post to fence post, but beautiful nevertheless. Compost bins, greenhouses, garden sheds, stone walkways, recycled rain barrels, and tiered beds. It was perfection. And right outside my cottage. The cottage windows face directly into the organic garden.

But where would Peter fit? Not much room anywhere. The side of the cottage? No, there is no room. The other side of the cottage? No, the property line is too close. Then the son pointed to the back of the garden. See the fence? See the little field beyond the fence with long grass and bushes? He was planning to put chickens back there someday, but maybe my rabbit would like it? REALLY?? Peter would love it! He even showed me some caging he had I could use and his mother said if I build the cage on the weekend, her son would be available to help. Her little bunny is a mini chocolate. So cute and much friendlier than Peter, but stuck in a hot greenhouse. I think I'll have to take him out for exercise now and then.

Can this be more perfect? I filled out the application and paid the deposit to hold it. I'm moving! Exile is OVER! I can't believe it. I feel like I've been in hell or at least in prison these past years. I've been released.

I'm so thrilled, although just a tad anxious. I hope my brain-less excitement didn't blind me to something important. When I got home I asked, What just happened? and stressed about the whole experience all night. I definitely failed miserably at remembering my safety checklist. Was I too impulsive? Wait a minute! I've been planning this for two years HOW could it be impulsive?  I'll go back again, inspect everything again and be more thorough before I sign the lease. If I lose the deposit, it's better than being poisoned. It's best to be sure. It's been a long time since I've had to go through this process. I'm a bit rusty.

It's an adventure. I need an adventure.

Tiny Rental Houses

I'm still searching for a place to rent so Peter and I may safely seclude ourselves away while stinky people wander into my house with the possibility of purchase. I decided I can't put my home up for sale without moving out first. How do I sell a house with this restriction:

 

No smelly people entering my sanctuary.

 

 

 

Right there I've eliminated 80% of prospective buyers and nearly all real estate agents. I might not ever be able to sell!

 

So for the last six months I've been searching for a rental. Here are my requirements:

 

1.) Clean. I don't want to see any evidence of smelly pets, rats, insect infestation, mold or general dirt or garbage. It would be nice if it wasn't a crack house or meth lab, too.

 

2.) No carpet. Preferably tile, hardwood, or softwood floors. Linoleum maybe.

 

3.) Non-toxic heating and clean electricity. No oil or gas.

 

4.) Non-smoking.

 

5.) Not newly painted.

 

6.) Pets. No dogs on the property, but Peter must be allowed.

 

7.) Neighbors. Not close by and not trailer trash. Lots of land would be nice, but obviously difficult to find without added rental costs.

 

10.) Must have Internet service.

 

 This is a very tall order. The difficulties I'm finding are the contradictions. If I want clean, then I can't have a pet. If they allow a pet, more often than not the previous renter had a pet or smoked.  Or select only any six of the ten, but you don't get them all!

Another consideration is size. I want to try living in a tiny house. I'm not sure I can even do this, but better to find out now. Since I still have my house and all its expenses until its sold, less expensive rent would be nice. This fits perfectly as a smaller house is often less expensive to rent, naturally. One prospective landlord right away asked me, "How much furniture do you have?" He kept repeating how small it was, not convinced that's what I really wanted.

The last consideration is appliances. It would be nice to have a washer and dryer on the premises so I don't have to use a smelly laundromat, but if it's a tiny house, I doubt if there is enough room for these luxuries. In fact, the few tiny houses I am finding often don't have a stove/oven or full-sized refrigerator. Several tiny houses for rent didn't have toilets!

OK, OK, I can't be too picky and since this is a temporary rental, I'm flexible on appliances. Well, I do want a toilet. I'm surprised there are tiny houses out there and there are few that fit my budget. My definition of "tiny" is anything under 500 square feet. The ones that seem the nicest are very expensive. Also, finding a tiny house that doesn't have a crazy landlord is difficult, too, but I keep trudging onward.

 

I might have found one! A little cottage in the middle of an organic garden. Only 230 square feet. It doesn't have a washer, dryer, stove or oven, but it does have a refrigerator, toilet and a shower. When I asked if the property had dogs roaming free, the woman told me it was a dog-free property with only one rabbit. RABBIT? What? Did you say RABBIT? It seems she has an old rabbit, too.  I like rabbit people. Here is a photo of the cottage:

  

 

 

 

Tomorrow I have made an appointment to have a look. I'm worried the owners are serial killers. Crossing my fingers everything works out just fine.