Moments of Joy

I recently had a debate with a friend on life and our expectations of happiness. I told her I didn't believe it was realistic to expect a life of happiness. Good things happen and bad things happen. It's a roller coaster ride of ups and downs. It's the bad experiences that give balance and help us appreciate our good experiences. All we can hope for is a life of overall contentment as we negotiate the ride. However, MCS is on a whole other level and to mitigate the negativity of this ongoing experience, I search and revel in moments of joy no matter how small or mundane. Sometimes this is a challenge, but I persist. Every day.

I was thinking about this today as I did a basic household repair. One of my wall heaters started blowing cold air. This is not good on a 30 degree morning when all outdoor surfaces are thick with ice. Four years ago another wall heater refused to work. I called the local furniture store for advice. The heater was only a few years old. The woman on the phone said she'd ask her repair guy and get back with me. I waited. A week later I figured they forgot so I headed to the nearest hardware store and bought a new heater. I installed it myself rather than hiring electricians at $80 hour, because I'm just that kind of woman (cheap). But I hung on to the old heater in case the repair guy would contact me.

He did! A few days later he told me it could be dust clogging the electrical points causing it to just not turn on. Hmmm...if this is the case, it would be a horrible waste of money to throw it out so I cleaned it the best I could, put it in a box, and stored it in the back of my closet until the next heater dies.

Here it is 2022, four years later. I dug the box out of the back of the closet, cleaned the heater with an electronic duster which released a whole litter of giant dust bunnies I must have missed with the first cleaning, electrified it, crossed my fingers, and turned it on. IT WORKS! OMG! I almost threw this old heater away not understanding it was just taking a little rest. Such a joyful feeling to not only save money, but be self-reliant.

Another moment of joy this month...2022 is starting out very joyous! This is a good sign. 

I sent one of my handmade, collage Christmas cards to Girl Alive in Malaysia. This was a risk. We both knew it. With the pandemic, international mail has been problematic at best, but I felt risky. The woman at the post office did some odd things that should have given me pause, but I ventured forth and sent it anyway. This was in November over a month before Christmas. It never arrived for Christmas. I was disappointed, and reprimanded myself for being so risky, but oh well, if it would have arrived, it might have brought my friend some Christmas joy.

January 20th...IT ARRIVED! Two months later, but IT ARRIVED! I was so shocked I accused her of lying to me just to make me feel better. LOL! (Sorry, Girl Alive!) So in January, a month kind of blah for joy, my friend received some surprised joy! I felt such overwhelming happiness for something so simple and random. So wonderful.

I love moments of joy. They make life...content.

Life is Short

Kelly McGarry, famous competitive mountain bike rider, died. He was only 33 years old. Life is short. For many, REALLY short. Too short.

Although this has very little to do with chemical sensitivity, it reminded me we need to appreciate each day as it comes even if we are not feeling up to speed or downright miserable. It reminded me to be cognitive of each moment. No matter how our life presents itself, it'll go by fast regardless.

In my former life I used to ride a mountain bike. I was never really very good at it. My first experience was with people who promised they would take us on a beginner trail. I say "us" because I was with two other beginners, my good friend and his adult daughter. The trail was anything but beginning...or maybe it was, but it was absolutely frightening with sand pits, cliffs, ledges, and poisonous snakes. For snake encounters - big, fat rattlesnakes lying in the sun across the trail - we were instructed to ride very fast so the snake wouldn't know what hit him and by the time the snake figured it out, we'd be gone. Hmmm... 

After a least an hour of horrifying torture and physical exhaustion, my friend's daughter ended up crashing in the middle of the desert. Miles away from civilization. She was so pissed off with our "trainers" and the experience she refused to get back on the bike and started walking. Or rather hobbling defiantly. Someone had to wheel her bike behind her. I survived, but not without too many bruises and a whole lot of pain that took a long time to heal. After that experience, I became far more selective of mountain biker companions. With time I got better at it, but I found it more fun to go to the competitions and watch the professionals sail effortlessly over the trails that nearly killed me. 

Anyway, just reminiscing about year's past and my former life. For those of you with energy, mountain biking would be a fairly non-toxic outdoor activity, but it's not without risks. Death being one of them.

Here is video footage of Kelly McGarry. The camera is on his helmet and he does a few flips at the Red Bull Rampage. And he won SECOND place (you can see where he misses the trail at one point). Whoa! It's totally frightening.

2012: Review and Resolution

 

Each year on December 31st for the past twenty-five years I have had a ritual where I review the year. In a small notebook on index cards I write the year and columns for GOOD and BAD. Some years I have put categories for INDIFFERENT, HMMM..., NOT SURE, NOT SO GOOD, REALLY NASTY or WORSE THAN HELL.  At times the same experience fits into both categories. For instance, in 2000 I have under the GOOD column "Fell in love" with an arrow drawn across the card pointing to the BAD column with the guy's name. HA!

 

I'm not sure why I started this. Maybe I was thinking if I make some kind of written assessment it will all even out because then I remind myself of the Good that happened when I tend to concentrate on the Bad. It's easier to dwell on the Bad. Of course, years later even the Bad column makes me smile. Time has a way of making the Bad seem funny. Thankfully.

 

In a way it's like a abbreviated diary, highlights of the past year. I've kept diaries since I was about twelve years old but because I use my writing as an emotional outlet, when the book is filled I wonder why I bothered. It's great therapy at the time, but also a self-violation of privacy. I don't want people reading my private thoughts so I throw them away.  One year I threw my diary in the garbage and the following week I found it on my evil step-sister's nightstand. I'm sure she was reading it for her entertainment pleasure. So I started destroying the diary before it gets to the garbage. I wish I still had them. Especially those I had when I was young. Oh well.

 

So, what about 2012?

Good: blog, Peter, garage remodel, garage sale, health improvement with diet, Jason Mraz concert, garden

Bad: construction worker hell

Looks like it's been a fairly good year. I hope in years to come "construction worker hell" will make me smile, but not today.

 

On the back of next year's index card I put my planned New Year's Resolution. Since most of them I don't keep, they are more like goals. I tend to write multiple resolutions in hopes of one being kept so I include some with positive advice like: Have Fun, Be Happy, Survive. In hindsight, the resolutions are fun to read as they often give the mood for how the previous year went. Survive said it all. Here are some of my more colorful resolutions:

No More Purses
Ask Out 100 Men
Avoid Office Jobs
No Flaming

So now I should think of a resolution...

 

What is your New Year's Resolution for 2013?