That first year of the pandemic I allowed visitors into my house. I figured right after having the coronavirus myself, I might be safe for a time. No one knew anything, but most research said since it was a SARS virus, more than likely there would be some limited immunity if not permanent immunity.
As the variants began to develop, I cloistered myself a little more rigorously and those who visited were required to wear a mask and stay outside. Some friends argued and assured me they didn't have symptoms so they must not have COVID even though by this time it was clear not everyone has symptoms.
Then the vaccinations started. I considered getting vaccinated, but then came to my senses. This sounded like a really stupid idea for someone who is chemically sensitive with an autoimmune disease. Those of us unable or uncomfortable with vaccinations were then told we couldn't go into some public places or events without proof of vaccination. Some chemically sensitive people were told not to come to family functions or friendship gatherings because they weren't vaccinated. This felt like discrimination. Why were the vaccinated worried? It's the unvaccinated that should be worried, but now the vaccinated feel free to not wear masks.
Well, I can play that game, too! First, I stopped inviting people over even if they were masked and outside. Those who wanted to come for a visit and made that suggestion, I would ask, "Are you vaccinated?"
They would cheerfully say, "YES! I AM VACCINATED!"
I would reply, "Then you can't come over. I have no desire for you to breathe germs on me without any consideration for my safety."
My friends argue they don't have COVID, but without a test to confirm how would they know? Am I being passive aggressive and vindictive. Yes. Oh well. Some people are being reinfected three and four times. I don't want it a second time. One time is more than enough!
I have limited my out-of-the house excursions to the food co-op, the library, the free store and other locations where people are taking adequate precautions. This has worked for me. So far. I've been told by friends they believe their new health problems are directly related to the vaccines. Too bad.
Now that all the masks mandates are over the pandemic is feeling over. It's not. The discrimination toward the unvaccinated is still happening. This disrespect is definitely not over. Free COVID tests are being given through the post office and handed out at libraries now. It's absolutely not over. A new study claims 42% of COVID deaths are people who ARE vaccinated. That's got to be a shocker to those dying. It's fucking not over.
I invited a friend of mine to go to an art tour with me then finally came to my senses and cancelled, but I suggested my friend come for a visit. To my house. In my air space. My friend is a nurse so I figured she might be more aware and therefore considerate, but also more exposed. I deliberated and ruminated about this.
My friend has given me free COVID tests and I know she has access to them. Maybe she will test herself before her arrival? That would be the logical thing to do. She didn't. By the time she thought of it, she was already on route. She did come planning to wear a mask the whole time. Thank you for your consideration, dear friend of mine.
So I suggested, why not use one of my tests, get tested, that way she wouldn't have to wear a mask the whole time and I wouldn't worry the whole time what she's breathing on me? She was all in and since we used one of the tests she gave me, she knew how to do it. Wow. The tests sure are much simpler than when I had that long Q-tip painfully shoved up my nose and into my brain! Fifteen minutes. She was negative and took off her mask. Hooray for my first visitor in a long time!
I didn't realize these tests expire. My new plan for anyone who wants to visit is to use the tests...before they expire!
Like everyone else, I'm looking forward to this pandemic being over!
OMG! Where does one even start with the year 2020?
THE GOOD STUFF:
BYE-DON! Dump lost; Biden won. I can't even explain what a relief this is. And we have a woman vice president. It's about time. I can now go back to not stressing about politics and feel confident that adults will be back in charge very soon!
FREEBIES. I wrote a recent post on my hoarding. It's such a joy and practically the only public entertainment I have lately. Most recently I acquired a blender. It was ugly, formerly white, covered in old black and brown dried food. Nasty. Scary nasty. I brought it home and plugged it into an outlet outside. That's how scared I was! It worked. I kept my mask on, wore gloves, carefully carried it to the kitchen sink and with all kinds of tools (tweezers, Q-tips, scrubber pads, soap, rubbing alcohol...) worked on it for two hours. It now looks like new. SCORE! Love it. I wish I would have taken a "before" photo, but I was afraid of contamination!
FORCED SECLUSION.I love it! I love it that we are expected to stay in our houses and people aren't wandering around wearing their stink and poisoning everyone as much as they used to. I love there isn't as much air pollution. I love it the animals want to come out in the open since humans have disappeared. I love I no longer feel like a weirdo secluded in my house when everyone else is free and bragging about how free they are all the time. I love the camaraderie of everyone's misery.
EMPLOYMENT. I'm still employed. In the spring when this pandemic started a lot of people didn't know what to do and many were told to go home and isolate which shut down a lot of businesses. This caused me to be on a lengthy staycation since no one was hiring me never mind I work from home and could very easily have kept working. Thankfully the people I work for figured it out, learned to work from home, and never went back to the office! Work is slow and I've lost money, but so thankful I'm still employed when some people aren't and have run out of options.
PAINTING. Or pandemic peace of mind. Or happiness. Or sanity. I've painted rocks, lamps, floors, rooms, bulletin boards, paintings, tables, switch plates...if it has a surface, it's calling for some paint on it.
CONSTRUCTION PROJECTS. I got a lot done this year: fixed my fence, replaced deck boards, and stripped and refinished my living room floor. At times finding supplies was a challenge with manufacturing slowing during the pandemic and finding the energy or know-how to do the work, but I persevered and got things done! The living room remodel inspired me to clean other rooms, reorganize shelves and closets and do a basic make-over. Then I painted my office. Next maybe the kitchen. One room at a time....
I seriously love this room now!
GARDENING. I downsized and cleaned the whole garden and added bark to the walks. Beautiful. It makes me feel happy and content, first, because it's nice to look at and second because there is so much less work now.
CHRISTMAS CARDS. Last year a friend sent me a recycled Christmas card she made. OMG! What a brilliant idea! I love finding new art projects and I went a little crazy. I send maybe ten cards to friends and a few to my favorite businesses...sometimes...when I'm motivated, but I made about forty cards most of them snarky since that's the kind of Christmas card I like and can never find. Many were political since this is an election year. I ended up participating in an online art show, although that wasn't a great experience, it was still time-consuming and a distraction from the world around me while it gave me a voice to rant my complaints about society.
GLASS MOSAICS. I was determined to use up my supply of glass and the last of my large frames so I could STOP doing glass mosaics. Although I do enjoy it, it's a very expensive art form and dangerous. I got tired of my hands cut up and infected. I felt very productive and proud to accomplish so many with so little supplies!
Immersion
Life is Not the Beach
Male Privilege
Season's of Love: The Fall
TILE MOSAICS. I have been collecting free, brightly colored plates all year. I wasn't really sure why. I loved the colors, but had no idea what I would do with them. Then all of a sudden I was compelled to take a hammer and break them! Doing glass mosaics made me curious about tile mosaics, or, in this case, creating decorative frames from broken dishes. This is free glass so cuts down on cost and the edges are not so sharp so less dangerous. Pulverizing dishes with a hammer is exceptional for stress relief. I also needed some new, different and colorful wall hangings for my newly painted and colorful rooms. I was tired of painting. Not sure if I'm excited about this new media yet, but it was experimentally fun.
NEW STOVE! I waited fifteen years to get rid of the mismatched, rat-infested stove/oven that came with the house when I bought it. It lasted a good amount of time before it started having problems...during a pandemic. I waited for the universe to send me a free one, and I actually was offered a free, used one but it was too old and I didn't feel comfortable. I was told the old ones are energy suckers, and, of course, if it dies having it hauled away would cost. Many of the big-box hardware stores' products were back ordered to next summer, but I found this outstanding small, mom-and-pop appliance store that had exactly what I wanted. The customer service was outstanding, the FREE delivery was outstanding, and the FREE haul-away-the junk was outstanding. What an outstanding experience. So rare these days! Merry Christmas to me!
FRAGRANCE-FREE FRIENDS: I am so thankful for my friends. One drove hours to deliver food to me when I was sick. Another drove hours to visit. Another bought art from me which helped my finances. I so appreciate their online conversations, support, and constant advice when I am in need. Thank you!
LIFE!!!!!!!! I AM ALIVE!
THE IN BETWEEN STUFF:
CONSTRUCTION WORKERS. I started running out of time and energy and hired two sleazy, lying workers to help remove and replace fence posts. What a waste of money! I know better, but I was worried I wasn't going to get it done and the fallen down fence repair was a priority. They did save me a lot of time and effort, but the expense was outrageous. Such a waste of money.
THE BAD STUFF:
THE PANDEMIC. Duh. It goes without saying. It's affected everyone on the planet and most would say this is the worst year in their lives. Even if we haven't experienced death or near-death illness first-hand, we are surrounded by it. The stress has infiltrated every facet of our existence. People are on edge either fighting to stay safe or fighting for their perceived personal rights. We are at each other's throats. We are inconvenienced in every way. Our health is constantly on the line as access to medical care is limited since all resources have gone to fighting this pandemic. Grocery shopping is a pain in the ass. Supplies are inaccessible. Going out in public is risky. Lack of income is affecting our ability to pay bills. This is all common knowledge by now. I had the coronavirus in the spring and continue to experience side effects that may or may not be serious, but thankful to be alive. My income suffered, but not nearly as much as others who have lost their jobs and/or homes. I'm so tired of the whiners complaining about how many parties and family functions they can't attend or how bored and lonely they are as if they aren't complaining about my normal chemically sensitive lifestyle. (Damn, I miss concerts!)
COVIDIOTS.For instance, my neighbors who send their grandkids to play outside my house during a pandemic. REALLY? A friend of mine went to a big family wedding and then had a big family Christmas gathering. People are tired and have stopped caring which also makes them apathetic to everyone around them. We live in a very self-serving world. I could list a million examples of the stupid, but more than likely you've seen them in the news or in your own neighborhoods.
DUMP. That incompetent, foolish, fake president needs to go away and his silly, unprofessional, immature, sociopathic antics need to go with him. Take all the white supremacists and treasonous GOP, too. His entitled family and rich cronies need to vanish. May they all disappear. I'm so tired of looking at his face or seeing constant complaints about him. Really tired of his ignorant, racist followers.
THE WAR. Yellow jackets, mice, rats, ants. Good lord. It's never-ending!
So...the year has sucked, BUT honestly, I look at this list and it's been a really good year for me!
My library was closed during the first pandemic lockdown. It took them months to figure out how to work with the restrictions so those of us secluded at home could have something to read or watch. Once I got through my stash of DVDs watching each movie TWICE, I became stir crazy. Facebook notices were posted about how essential the library is, but if it's closed during a lockdown, I guess not.
At one point I emailed the library management with gentle suggestions and helpful tips to think out of the box so they could remain viable and relevant. The thought of all those DVDs sitting in transport boxes waiting to be sent to me drove me nuts. I was told, and I quote, "That's not our job description." I wanted desperately to reply, to scream, "But you are failing miserably at your job description now so thinking out of the box might be a better solution." I didn't. I just let it go. I've learned to choose my battles carefully.
Months later they opened with "take-out" option. This was easy during the summer. All activity was outside. They even rigged a door bell in the parking lot. This was perfect for me even during non-pandemic times. Social distancing and masks were required.
Recently they finally opened the front door and with plexyglass covering the check-out counters, one person at a time is allowed to browse the shelves or use a computer for exactly five minutes. Besides masks, the requirement to enter the library is to place your hands under the hand sanitizer.
I don't browse nor do I have any need to use a computer. Never have. Our library does have a fragrance free policy, but they forget. Librarians, library patrons and books wiped with someone's hand lotion or perfume stink. I order DVDs through the online holds, they arrive, and I pick them up. Again, take-out was perfect for me. However, with all their restrictions, the delivery of DVDs was reduced to once, maybe twice, a week. It can take weeks to get one DVD. So the other day I thought, Hmmmm...maybe I should browse? Especially since they let only one person in at a time.
The librarian said, "Would you like to browse for five minutes?" Followed by in a much louder tone, "DON'T FORGET TO SANITIZE YOUR HANDS!"
I don't hand sanitize. Putting chemicals on a chemically sensitive person's hands is idiotic. I know this, but I also know if I say anything I'd be grouped in with the Covidiots who are refusing to wear masks and lying about having disabilities to justify their bad behavior. So I keep my mouth shut.
I looked at the automatic spraying hand sanitizer (OMG!) and wondered silently, what's in it? I wanted to enter. I went out into my vehicle and got some plastic gloves. This is my procedure when I must hand sanitize at the food co-op: disinfect with either vinegar or hydrogen peroxide, protect my hands with gloves under the watchful eye of the store guard, sanitize, go directly to the restroom, remove gloves, wash hands for twenty seconds, put on new gloves that are located right outside the door. Pain in the ass, but I'll jump the hoops. I understand the importance of this, however, once again, the special needs of the chemically sensitive are being ignored.
I placed my gloved hands under the sanitizer and they were doused with what seemed like a gallon of stink spraying all over and into my nose. I felt the spray particles on my face! Oh shit. I rubbed them together desperately thinking I now needed to run to the nearest sink and wash. I lasted about ten seconds. The stink was overwhelming. I frantically removed the gloves and left the library.
What is in hand sanitizers? There are two types:
The first is ethanol or an ingredient called ethyl alcohol. This is grain alcohol and usually used to make distilled liquor. Oh, it might be fun to put some whiskey, tequila or gin on my hands! Well, not exactly. This is "denatured" alcohol so drinking it or licking it off your hands will make you sick.
The second type of hand sanitizer is made with isopropanol or isopropyl alcohol or what we know as rubbing alcohol.
Other ingredients commonly used in both hand sanitizer types: thickeners which are called carbomers or cross polymers, PH adjusters like triethanolamine or aminomethyl propanol (yuck), and moisturizing agents like vegetable glycerin (yuck), Vitamin E (gluten), or aloe leaf juice.
Last, but not in any sense least: FRAGRANCE. Not all hand sanitizers use fragrances, but if they are made with either essential oils or chemicals. It is advised to not use chemical fragrances (phthalates) as they could irritate one's skin. Yep. At least someone is thinking, but unfortunately the general population doesn't think so you know they will migrate to the smelly stuff as often as possible. Scented hand sanitizers are becoming popular. It is believed, like with all other products, if it smells good, people will be more likely to use it.
The concentration requirement according to the FDA is 60% for maximum effectiveness. They do not recommend consumers make their own hand sanitizers, and highly suggest not to ever put household cleaners or disinfectants on your skin or in your body. In other words, do not follow the advise of that idiot president. Like perfumes, hand sanitizers are flammable. Make sure your hands are dry before continuing activities involving heat, sparks, static electricity or open flames. Smokers beware! If a hand sanitizer has either methanol or benzalkonium chloride in it, avoid it like the plague (pun intended). Children under six years old should not use hand sanitizers. Keep your sanitized hands away from your eyes and don't lick them. Good advice.
In Malaysia the latest fad is retail outlets are now using "aerosolization". Or disinfectant tunnels. Yep, you read that right! As you walk into the store your whole body is sprayed with chlorine bleach. This is along the same thought process as passenger airplanes being sprayed with pesticides while the passengers are on them. Or casinos and other businesses using scented products in their HVAC systems as a marketing strategy. Those in management are hoping to save time and money with mass sterilization thinking it's more effective. It's all about money and the bottom line. Malaysian officials and scientists have stated this practice is ineffective against covid, but can be harmful irritating the lungs and skin. The businesses still invest thousands of dollars on these machines and do it anyway. I know people who's extremities go numb if they get anywhere near bleach and, of course, many chemically sensitive can't use it at all without dire consequences. This is more evidence of the stupidity of people thinking more is better, and everyone needs to breathe poison, be dipped in it, or in this case sprayed down as if we are cattle.
The best way to sanitize one's hands according to the FDA: hand washing with hot water and soap. There is no evidence that antibacterial/antiseptic soap works better. Plain old soap and plain old water for twenty seconds.
Stay safe, not just from covid, but from all the stupid people trying to poison us.
I reconnected with an old friend a few years ago and when we decided to meet and reminisce about old times, I immediately warned her about my sensitivity to chemicals especially scented products. While so many people will respond with doubt and sarcasm making disclosure uncomfortable, she was eager to accommodate my requests to be fragrance-free and non-toxic. Or so I thought.
We planned our first outing over a weekend since she lived three hours away. I invited her to arrive on Friday and stay the night. I figured this way if she failed at understanding my instructions and was willing to detoxify herself in my shower, that might work. She cancelled Friday because she felt "frumpy".
Oh, god, here we go! It all came rushing back. This is the friend who cancels at the last minute on a whim. She decided she would arrive Saturday morning. Hmmm...this is a risk, but I complied. I was eager to add an old friend back into my life so I took the chance. She showed up reeking of laundry detergent and I was sick all day.
Over the next few years she eagerly asked for fragrance-free advice, and I, with high hopes, gave it. I bought her $50.00 worth of soaps, detergents and other unscented, non-toxic supplies as encouragement. I had a feeling this would be a waste of money because if there is one thing I've learned, if people aren't fragrance-free, they won't get it. It's often beyond their comprehension.
We tried a few more outings and each time she stunk to high heaven for a variety of reasons: new detergent, new hair shampoo, new automobile air fresheners, and each time when I mentioned the need to stand away from her she looked at me like a deer in headlights. She just doesn't have the brain function to be fragrance-free. I learned with experience to avoid her. I ignore her constant requests for recreation and her empty promises of chemical sensitivity empathy.
During the pandemic she started sewing facial masks. I applauded and encouraged her efforts. She offered to send me one. OK! Masks are not easy to come by so I was excited to get one. She informed me she'd sew it then hang it outside for a few hours. I've heard from so many to "hang things outside". Do people really think airborne virus germs will just go away with a good airing out? I'm not sure the reasoning.
She sent three masks. I was excited. They were all sealed in plastic bags. As soon as I opened one I could smell the stench of laundry soap. REALLY? I put them outside on my porch. Even the plastic bags were smelly. I tried to wash a plastic bag. Nope. The stink stuck. I took one of the masks and tried washing it. I tried five times. Still stinks.
You can't imagine how disappointed I was. Not only that she went all the trouble during a stay-at-home lockdown to mail them to me, but she still doesn't get it. I didn't want to confront her in light of her generosity, but I did ask if I could donate one to my nurse friend who didn't have a mask and she was happy to comply. I donated all three.
Eventually the subject came up when she was commissioned to make masks for a senior care center. I suggested she not wash them in fragranced laundry detergent. She responded with, "But I didn't use any detergent when I washed yours!" But she washed them in a washing machine contaminated by her toxic laundry detergent. If that stink was just residue, she's using some really toxic detergent these days. I tried patiently explaining and her response was, "Well, it's really too bad, but some people just can't comply."
So how do I tell this so-called friend, who claims she cares about me, misses me, and still after that conversation constantly asks, "How are you doing?" or "Can we Facetime?" that she is one of my poisoners? She and those like her who wear toxic stink contaminate the air that should be shared and affect where I can go and how I exist? How do I tell her she's not a friend at all, but that she's one who makes me miserable and is trying to kill me?
Anyway fellow MCSers, beware of handmade, toxic facial masks! They might be made with fabrics that have been treated with chemicals or washed in toxic laundry detergent!
I found some patterns online.
This one is my favorite. It has one piece that you cut six times so no multiple pieces to figure how to fit together. It has a little pocket for a coffee filter. The video instructions are fast and easy:
One is called the Olson and it's the one hospitals are requesting if people want to make and donate. It has a pocket for a fancy hospital filter that the hospital will add, but I think the average person can use a coffee filter or other. The video is a little wordy and long so I skipped through the babble to get the instructions. You can find the pattern pieces online with scanty instruction. I'm not much of a seamstress otherwise so I needed really clear, visual guidance:
If you sew your own, you are able to choose non-toxic fabric that doesn't stink. I used used, cotton sheets. Organic would be optimal, but I wasn't willing to cut apart my very expensive organic cotton sheets just to make a mask. A study showed tightly woven cotton sheets up to 200 count are nearly as good for protection as N95 masks. Cotton is more comfortable than synthetic fabrics especially during the warmer summer months. I also added a stitched pocket across the top and used wide twist ties for the nose fitting part. I like the simplicity of elastic loops over the ears that wouldn't get tangled in my hair, but they proved to be painful and uncomfortable and then kept falling off when my ears got tired. I also tried elastic over the head and ties over the head, both fine, but tangled in the hair.
I only had white sheets so they look like face diapers! I like it that so many are now wearing masks so I don't feel like a social misfit when I do wear one. I can now walk into most smelly stores and feel somewhat protected!
November 16, 2001 was the last time I was sick. It was a nasty cold or flu or virus or whatever. I remember the date exactly because it was the opening of the first Harry Potter film and friends came in from out of state to see it with me.
In addition to being miserable, I was working at the school that poisoned me and not understanding why the building's toxic air fresheners and the staff's overuse of perfumes used to cover up the stench of mold were making me sick. Six months later I was diagnosed with MCS.
Unbeknownst to me at the time, MCS made my immune system go crazy. It's constantly protecting me from outside influences. I haven't caught a cold, flu, virus, sore throat, cough or anything that involves the spread of germs for the last nineteen years. With all the negative experiences associated with MCS, this is the one true benefit.
Over time I have waited, almost hoped, to get sick as I thought that might be a sign my body is relaxing and healing. If I got sick maybe that would mean I'm less reactive to toxic chemicals and my life would resume? A few years ago a rather nasty flu spread through the community. Everyone was sick. The grocery checkers were sneezing and coughing all over customers. My throat got a little scratchy and then it all went away. I was grateful not to be sick but a little disappointed MCS was still controlling my body.
Here comes the coronavirus! First, it's a respiratory virus. That's not good. My lungs are the first thing to be compromised when faced with a chemical or allergen. They just shut down. I wondered, Would this virus kill me or will my hyper immune system annihilate it before it attacks my lungs? What about my other risk factors? It started with unexplained nausea and a raging headache followed by a dry cough and some congestion. By the third day my lungs felt heavy and ripping painfully to shreds. This worried me as it's the lung infection that kills people. I don't want to die! I don't know if I had a fever since I didn't have a thermometer and I did read to keep warm so I increased the temperature of my house and found myself sweating profusely with wet, cold clammy skin especially at night. I kept double checking my breathing. OK, I can still breathe. I worried any moment that would stop.
The testing protocols for my area are a joke. One must be approved for a doctor's appointment based on a symptoms check interview, make an appointment with the doctor, get tested for everything under the sun EXCEPT the coronavirus, and then if all those tests are negative, the patient is given permission to get the coronavirus test. Although the government is patting themselves on the back for providing the test free, it's not free here. We pay. We pay for the appointment, the tests, and the coronavirus test. The state department of health care's hotline is a recorded message, "Currently coronavirus testing is limited." My nurse friend was tested in her community. It's been a week and a half and she still doesn't have results. I don't understand how the entitled who don't even have symptoms are being tested so easily and frequently. This virus will annihilate low-income people who can't afford proper care let alone testing.
It would be nice to know whether or not what I had was the coronavirus, but then what? We are told to go home and hope for the best. Suppose you don't have a home and are living on the streets in cold weather? What is the point of the test other than to contribute to statistics and the doctor's income? I think eventually statistics might give people answers and guidance because right now we have nothing. We don't even have tests that are accurate.
The problem with assuming you have the coronavirus makes people complacent and negligent in their self-isolation. My friend announced now that she has it, once she recovers she can visit others who are sick and help them because she's immuned. Well, at the time she didn't know her test would prove negative. I've also heard some people are testing negative only to test again positive once they are dying in the hospital OR false positives where the test are showing you have it but you don't. You can't trust the information. They are doing the best they can but it's too early.
Needless to say, I stayed locked in my house. I didn't have the energy to leave for anywhere let alone a doctor's office. I stayed in bed most of the time unless I got up to eat soup, drink tea or hot water, and take Tylenol. I kept a clove of fresh garlic in my mouth. Garlic is a natural anti-biotic. This worked great to alleviate respiratory tract discomfort in lieu of sugar-free cough drops (which I did not have), but the juice does burn the insides of your mouth. My plan was if breathing became difficult, I'd head to the hospital in the neighboring county. Maybe. I'm not fond of hospitals, let alone health care. Other than that I'd just hunker down and hope for the best. I chanted a lot of gratitudes. I figured universal assistance or just positive thinking couldn't hurt.
I wish I had these on day one instead of making do with garlic!
They do, however, have aspartame, but they feel so good
I really don't care!
Day four my lungs were still heavy and in pain, but I could still breathe. The pain in my back right behind my lungs started. It felt like I pulled a muscle. Every now and then I'd feel sharp pains in my TEETH. (Yes, this goes down as the weirdest symptom!) Cough, sweating, weakness and I still didn't have the energy to get out of bed.
Day five a little better. I had hope.
Day six the lung pain went away with a few twinges now and again, but lungs still felt heavy. Hooray! But the coughing got worse and my back started itching. I thought this was a good sign as itching is a sign it might be healing and better coughing means the lungs are loosening up. Pneumonia happens when infection lingers and has no way to expel itself.
Day seven I awoke to a slight cough and able to move around with just a little weakness. Feeling too confident and hopeful, I thought it best to decrease the heat in my house so it wouldn't feel like a tropical sauna. Not a good idea. This beast loves cold. My cough returned worse than ever and by the afternoon my lungs were screaming in pain. Fearful this was the end, I thought I'd relapsed until I crawled back into bed, jacked the heat up to 79 degrees...and it nearly all went away. I spent the night clearing my throat of phlegm due to something draining.
The eighth day the cough was minor, lungs just slightly congested, some weakness, and the heat in my house raged like a sauna. I wasn't going to make the mistake of cooling the house again.
Day nine sleeping was hell. If the room was too hot I wanted to rip my skin off, but too cold and the symptoms would come back. Lung congestion lingered with random pricks of pain and I'm clearing my throat constantly with some coughing. Body ache returned intermittently.
Ten and eleven days and all symptoms still present but very minor just enough to let me know it's not over. Every couple hours weakness would hit and I'd crawl back to my dark, overheated bedroom and nap. My appetite returned with a vengeance.
Day twelve and thirteen: some coughing with cold air making me cough more, hungry, and craving sugar. I feel pretty good. Did I say hungry? Damn I'm hungry!
Day fourteen...I'm feeling really good, energetic, and nearly all symptoms have disappeared so I decide to get stuff done. I'm out of water so I drive to the artesian well which is about 20 minutes away and load up. It's out in the woods. No one is ever there. I'm still feeling great so I decide to garden, then clean my house, do my laundry - all the things I've been neglecting for two weeks. And I drank some milk. By afternoon I was miserable. The headache returned with a vengeance, coughing, congestion, body ache, and then the lung pain. I spent the next 24 hours in bed praying this relapse wouldn't kill me.
Days fifteen through seventeen I was absolutely miserable with lung and back pain, coughing, headache, body ache, and general weakness and misery. The beast won't let go. I started doing deep breathing exercises based on an article I read.
Day eighteen lung pain is gone, but still feels congested, and my back is itching like crazy. This is healing and it gives me hope. Was it the Tylenol I started taking regularly? The breathing exercises? Dried apricots? (They are supposed to be good for lungs.) Gratitudes. With hand motions? Aspartame-laced cough drops? Who knows...
Days nineteen and twenty I was miserable. My lungs hurt so bad I once again wondered if I would die and asked friends to do things for me if that happens. (Yeah, I'm very organized that way.)
This on-again off-again cycle is actually called "post-viral inflammation". It's how one's immune system fights it. I read it can last for days or weeks. I think a lower room temperature (or my body temperature) might acerbate this fluctuation. Many people have complained about the second week when they seem to be on the mend and then it all goes down hill fast then cycles between good and bad. Yep.
Right about this time at night I start waking with anxiety, worried and in need of writing something down. I find myself up and in the middle of my office unable to remember what I desperately needed to record. Journalist Chris Cuomo gave daily updates on his viral experience and discussed his psychological symptoms like depression and anxiety. A doctor told him it was from being isolated inside. Maybe for Cuomo who is not as isolated on a daily basis as I am. I know I went through a near-death PTSD of sorts hollering at friends to stay inside. Cuomo was also talking about hating his job and plans to quit it. Whatever this psychological side effect I'm experiencing it clearly isn't as strong as his, yet, but I'm glad he's reported on it or I might not have even connected it OR remembered it. By the next morning I've forgotten the anxiety, so I started keeping pen and paper next to my bed. What I write is funny, mostly about symptoms, pain, and discomfort I'm feeling in the night. I'm also dreaming bizarre dreams. I keep telling my friends it's like a chemical exposure symptom. I wondered if it was the aspartame-laced cough drops, but I stopped those and the anxiety didn't stop. Could it be some chemical reaction in my body caused by the virus? They are saying it now can have long-term effects on organs - heart, lungs, brain. Too much we don't know.
Around the same time I developed a rash on my right front calf. Strange. Just little red dots all over. I didn't connect it until reports started about the rashes covid patients are getting. The information that this affects blood circulation and some are requiring limb amputation is not comforting.
Day twenty one a little better. Day twenty two through thirty three I feel really good! I have minor night time symptoms, some mornings I awake with some coughing and lung congestion, and during the day my lungs might feel heavy from time to time and I sneeze on occasion. Some days better than others, but I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and I'm fully functioning during the day.
Too pretty to be deadly... so painted coronavirus-themed rocks!
My community implemented a mobile testing site and on day 18 I was tested. The county health department was allocated 100 tests for 22,000 people so they were very particular, interrogating candidates, and selecting only the most obviously sick. It was like a won the lottery! Unfortunately, the results were...negative. What? Wait! That can't be right. "MY LUNGS ARE KILLING ME!" I yelled at the messenger. Maybe my viral load was too low? Day eighteen was a good day in the cycle. Was the test inaccurate? The test giver incompetent? The lab tech stupid? Our local hospital processed the tests and I know they are useless. I don't know, but there is no way with exact symptoms, minus the loss of taste and smell, that I didn't have it. I've heard this is actually common and people nearly dead will test negative and be sent home from the hospital. I don't have any confidence in the system. We've tested hundreds of people so far, all with symptoms that match and have found ZERO positive cases. It worries me I don't know for absolute certain but there isn't much anyone knows so I'm not alone.
Still, I'm trusting my instincts. I don't get sick and this was anything but a normal cold or flu. It was hell lasting far too long and bringing most of my life to a full, stressful stop.
Where did I get it? I have a bad habit of touching my face and my lips. This is risky, but it's a habit I wasn't even thinking about until after the fact. I did read too late that if you rub onions on your hands it will remind you to keep your hands away from your face. Good tip. Too late for me, but good.
But exactly WHERE did I get it? People have been obsessed with being able to track down exactly who gave it to them, when and where. I know I'd feel more confident if I knew where I got it. There is something unsettling with not knowing. Was it there? Was it then? Many are seeing this need to know how people got it as blaming the victim and there have been cases where people are demanding to know who was the one infected. This is just fear which can make people act stupid. I know I'm not comfortable telling people or even getting tested. Will I be the community's scapegoat, our very own Typhoid Mary? In the next few weeks so many are going to be infected trying to find the origin or place blame will be a joke.
I hope it was the virus because I survived it. Dr. Datis Kharazzian said in his latest podcast on the coronavirus a strong immune system is the key and good white cell blood counts or an overactive immune system will be helpful for recovery. I'm hoping there will be antibody testing like they've started in Germany. Am I still contagious even after 72 hours? Maybe not, although I recently read the virus lives long in your fecal matter and phlegm even after testing negative. Am I now immuned and resistant to a round two? Experts think I am, but their guesswork doesn't give me confidence. No one knows a damn thing and it's best to be cautious moving forward. I plan to wear a mask every time I leave my house...forever.
Oh, so heavenly!
BE PREPARED FOR ILLNESS:
Have sugar-free COUGH DROPS on hand. These will help with the respiratory discomfort. Seriously. They are priceless!
I've read TYLENOL is great for the fever and headache. I didn't take Tylenol often because I don't like drugs, and it didn't seem to work at all for the headaches and body aches. I personally think one needs to not cover up symptoms unless it gets too bad. This is how you monitor yourself. A fever is the body's way of healing. HOWEVER, it's been suggested this is how to fight the infection. By not doing anything, it's allowed to stew and fester. Ibuprofen is NOT recommended due to its increase in ACE2 receptors. I also read people should NOT be taking Vitamin A and D, Echinacea, Elderberry, Lara Arabinogalactan and high doses of Vitamin C for the same reason. And of course, there are people saying these holistic supplements help with coronavirus...I say better safe than sorry. Dr. Datis Kharazzian, my idol, also briefly cautioned about supplements with the coronavirus. If you've read any of my posts on supplementation, it's all experimentation anyway. There are too many unknowns right now to be mixing it up, the supplement industry is dying to make money off this, and people are in a panic response.
SOUP! TEA! HOT WATER. ANYTHING HOT and HYDRATING will help keep you nutritionally sustained and be a comfort on your respiratory tract. I could not tolerate eating or drinking anything cold or even room temperature.
My giant soup cup filled with homemade Chicken Vegetable Soup
Lots of REST and SLEEP to boost your immune system.
BREATHING EXERCISES. First, sleep on your side or stomach for better breathing. Do these breathing exercises to avoid getting pneumonia:
When you can get out of bed, do! MOVE AROUND. When you start cycling from bad to good to bad, get outside. Be as active without overdoing it. Fight this thing with health.
NO SUGAR of any kind which compromises your immune system.
NO DAIRY. Lungs don't like dairy. I think one of my relapses was caused from partaking in dairy.
And when the beast shows itself, don't hesitate to raise the temperature in your home and burn it out. I found HEAT between 75 and 79 degrees worked to alleviate symptoms by raising one's body temperature. Pretend you are staycationing in the tropics...in your bed.
SPECIAL THANKS TO FRIENDS: So many of my friends have offered help and support as they emailed me everyday to check on my progress knowing I was home alone. One drove three hours to deliver my groceries to me when I couldn't leave the house. One mailed me tasty, tasty treats. One offered to mail me anything I needed...from CANADA! One gave me her private Amazon account with all the passwords and said, "Order whatever you want!" (Good gracious!) Another wrote a letter to me every day even with shoulder pain that made that difficult. I asked her not to, but she did anyway in hopes of taking my mind of things and giving me something to look forward to. Unfortunately after receiving two letters with one smelling like perfume we decided she should just attach it to email. Not quite the same, but since MCS precautions are so much like viral safety, we concluded getting mail touched by stinky or contaminated strangers is probably not a good idea anyway! I so appreciate their love, support and kindness.
Be safe. Stay healthy. Good luck.
P.S. They are anticipating it may return in the fall when temperatures decrease as it did during the 1918 flu epidemic. Be prepared.
This was my mainstay for coronavirus survival. The chicken broth is heavenly on the respiratory discomfort. Dark chicken meat is good for one's heart. Vegetables are high in nutrients. A bit of potato or rice for carbohydrates.
All organic, fresh ingredients for one large pot of soup:
4 T olive oil or butter
1/2 onion, chopped
2 stalks of celery, chopped
6 cups water
8 chicken legs
1 clove garlic, chopped
salt and pepper
2 cups broccoli, chopped
1 cup beans, cleaned and chopped
1/2 potato, peeled and chopped
1/2 cup frozen peas
1/4 cup red pepper
These are veggies I am compatible with as so many I am sensitive to. Add your own favorites.
Saute onion, celery and garlic in pan for a very short time. Add water, chicken legs and seasonings. On medium heat simmer/boil for about 1 hour or until chicken is tender. Remove chicken legs. Cool. Remove meat from bones, place back in pan. Add broccoli, beans, pepper and potato. Simmer for another 15-20 minutes. Add peas just to unthaw them as if you boil them they turn ugly and mushy. (I try not to cook the vegetables too long as they lose their nutrient value with too much heat and get mushy.) Remove from heat. Cool. Place in 16 ounce recycled yogurt containers. Freeze. Makes about a gallon or 4 frozen containers.
I made a giant pot for 9 containers and as needed it, thawed, added another container of chicken broth. Sometimes I would add cooked white rice for more carbohydrates. Unthaw and simmer for 15 minutes. I got about three bowls for each 16 ounce container.
I made a second batch and predicting I'd be really tired of it at two weeks froze the vegetables separate from the chicken, onion, celery, garlic, spices so I could use them in other recipes. Sans veggies it wasn't as tasty. The vegetables add a lot of flavor especially as they sit in the freezer together. Still healthy and good, but not as yummy.
So here we are in the middle of a pandemic as the coronavirus spreads to every corner of the world. Schools and libraries are closed. Grocery stores are out of supplies. The Olympics postponed. The last primaries cancelled. The streets and roads are empty of traffic and people. Some will get sick and survive; some will get sick, get worse, and die. It's survival of the fittest. Or the smartest. Or the most informed.
I usually use this illustration to represent perfumed pollution.
Today it's the coronavirus!
As someone who is chemically sensitive, self-containment is my existence. I'm constantly isolated in my home, avoiding public recreation as much as possible, shopping during low volume times, and running for my life in the opposite direction from any toxic person, place or thing. This isolation can be soul-sucking and unbearable, but most of the time it's normal and natural. I often resent the extra effort and energy all this paranoia demands in order to keep myself from being exposed and suffering from mild to debilitating symptoms.
My friends keep telling me how safe I am from virus contamination since I'm already a practitioner of self-containment. I appreciate their encouragement, but truthfully after years of personal isolation and no one else giving a shit, I really like it that everyone else is now, finally, in a similar situation. Instead of being alone, I feel a sense of solidarity now that others are experiencing the discomfort of my everyday life experience. I love it. Welcome to my world!
Friends say, "I have gloves for you if you need them!" I say, No! I have boxes of gloves. I use them for every day protection! I've had friends ask me if I need a mask. I say, No! I use masks all the time for every day tasks!This is my normal life. Come on in! Join the fun! Now if a virus wasn't rampaging across the globe causing suffering and death, I wouldn't have a problem with this new/old lifestyle.
We can't seem to get good information on the coronavirus. One day they tell us we have to wear masks and the stores are sold out. The next day they tell us don't bother - they don't work. Then they tell us if we are sick we should wear them if we are out in public. But, sick or not, we shouldn't be out in public. Besides masks don't work. Right?
Oh no! Dogs are dying from coronavirus. Oh look! Dogs can't get coronavirus after all. Well, maybe, the CDC says stay away from your pets if you get sick because they really have no idea. At least they are honest about it. Dogs should be getting it. Like humans, they have overpopulated the earth and nature needs to balance.
If you drink bleach, it will keep you from getting coronavirus. Thanks Presidunce Dump for being so knowledgeable! Actually this is partially correct because you'll be too dead to get infected. The really bad information coming from the White House is appalling and irresponsible.
If you sneeze once, it's the coronavirus, but if you sneeze multiple times it's not. Now they are saying sneezing isn't a symptom. Presidunce Dump just sent me a postcard on guidelines and he says if I cough or sneeze to do it in my elbow so someone thinks it's a symptom!
One day all the hand sanitizers are sold out, but the following day they say proper hand washing is better. Yesterday vinegar worked as a hand sanitizer; today it doesn't. I see everyone attempting home-made hand sanitizers with alcohol....but the strength should be at least 60%, ah no, 70%...hmmm...90%. And if they put a dab of another ingredient it will absolutely still sanitize ...maybe ...possibly ...because that dab will reduce it to 70%... Or 60%. Exactly. They know this for sure. Yeah, right. Even now, the CDC says 70% and my state's website says 60%.
Some believe this isn't any worse than the flu; others say it is worse than a flu. Some say it is a flu; others say don't make the mistake of thinking it's the flu. Some say we have it under control; others say this is only the beginning. Some say this is biological warfare; others think this is just natural selection and evolution to balance the overpopulation of humans. I haven't yet heard any religious theories. Yet. Maybe this is like Noah's Arc and we are all screwed? UPDATE: The religious are linking this to Jesus's second coming. Does that mean those who die get to go to heaven, or is it the ones who live? No one is clear on that point.
Bottom line, not one fucking person knows what the hell is going on. Am I worried? Only about all the people pretending to know what is going on and giving everyone either, 1) false hope or 2) a panic attack. The best advice I've received so far is from Girl Alive over in Malaysia who told me weeks ago, "GO STOCK UP ON FOOD AND SUPPLIES NOW!" She was convinced our grocery shelves would be sold out like they are in Malaysia. She was right. Our county is totally out of toilet paper right now!
Am I worried? I'm so confused I can't decide. I fall in a middle ground. Maybe? I think.... Some days I feel confident I might actually live to see summer. Then I read the psychic Sylvia Browne predicted this years ago and it's supposed to wipe out most of the population. It's hard to know what to feel when no one has any idea who is susceptible and who isn't. Why are so many recovering and why are too many dying? There must be some link.
First, I am of a certain age that makes me vulnerable, but in past medical tests I have been diagnosed as biologically twenty years younger than I actually am. I blame that on a whole lot of healthy living. I have never smoked cigarettes, no recreational drugs, avoided pharmaceuticals, and rarely drank alcohol of any kind. I have exercised in some form or another all my life. My diet for the last ten years has been outstandingly healthy and for the last lifetime has been relatively, comparatively good. I know eating sugar depletes one's nutritional resources and compromises one's immune system. I don't eat sugar. Eating all kinds of junk should kill even the healthiest of person let alone someone infected by the virus. I don't eat junk food. Will my healthy lifestyle keep me safe or make me vulnerable?
I also have an autoimmune disease. One of the symptoms of Hashimoto's is pericardial effusion...my heart is water logged. Every now and then I am reminded of this with chest and lung pains. My thyroid is susceptible to attacks from my body. Will the virus attack my weakest organs making me more vulnerable?
I have allergies to pollen: trees, grass, hay. This can feel nearly as uncomfortable as virus symptoms. The coronavirus is a respiratory illness that starts and ends in the lungs. A chemical exposure can stop my lungs from working in a heartbeat. Will this make me more vulnerable?
I am also chemically sensitive. Surprise! I'm not going to be dipping my hands in cancer-causing, hormone-disrupting, immune-weakening hand sanitizers nor wipe down my grocery cart with these toxins posted at every building entrance. I'm not going to wash every surface in my house with bleach or alcohol. Will this make me more vulnerable or has my avoidance of chemicals helped strengthen my immune system? FYI: I am using vinegar to sanitize my hands. I wash my hands a lot anyway. I've been adding hydrogen peroxide to hot soapy water when I wash surfaces, but only because it makes me feel better not because I think it works. It dilutes the strength too much, I think. I can't breathe around alcohol. This may be my undoing, but there isn't anything I can do.
Last, but not least, I am chemically sensitive. I hold the hope of the one benefit I have been blessed with for being chemically sensitive: my immune system is hyperactive. I have not gotten sick with anything in the last nineteen years. No colds, flus, viruses, earaches, or sore throats. There have been times I've been surrounded by sickos suffering from the latest illness, coughing, sneezing, puffy eyes telling me to stay away. I have never gotten sick. My white blood count is good. My immune system works and works well. Will this spare me?
I have no idea...time will tell.
The Women's March was exactly two weeks ago. I didn't catch anything then or I'd be showing symptoms by now. Relatives from the local virus vortex dropped in for a visit before everyone started panicking. That was three weeks ago. Hmmm...I feel fine.
We'll see. Until then I'm just going to continue being my chemically sensitive self-containment self and laugh at the people panicking around me as I sit in my house surrounded by lots of toilet paper!*
*Note: No, I'm not a toilet paper hoarder. I bought mine last fall when I cancelled my membership to Costco. Who would have guessed it would come in handy...
They would cheerfully say, "YES! I AM VACCINATED!" 
