Moments of Joy, Part II (Works of Art)

Winter makes me a slug. I don't want to do much except sleep, watch TV, and pretend the world around me doesn't exist. I still have bouts of creativity, but they are few and far between.

My neighbor, the only one I kind of like, approached me about a year ago and complained about the potholes on the road down to the highway. It's used by truck drivers. He's a truck driver. Hmmm.... He drives his truck up and down that road daily, all the way to his house and parks it next to my house. I should hate him for causing my walls to crack and, of course, destroying the road that I have to attempt to drive as I negotiate potholes that are lake-size. It's life threatening. He complains. I made suggestions, but he's not real active. Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter...the guy is a slug year round. I still like him. He has a subversive streak.

So he approaches me the other day and says, "Tonight is the night. I'm painting the potholes. Are you in? Or are you out?" 

I screamed, quietly so no one would hear, "I'M ABSOLUTELY, DEFINITELY IN!"

At 10:00pm, dressed in black, and under the cover of darkness, we embarked on our secret mission:

PENIS POTHOLES!

It's a work of art!

We did about five before we ran out of spray paint. I felt very proud, exceptionally creative, and outrageously subversive. Adrenaline rushes are good for the soul. So is social consciousness...maybe the city will repair the road now. OK. I doubt it.

The whole way home we were planning our next mission since we assume the city will still do nothing and now that we have experience, we know what kinds of artistic improvements we need to make. First, we need better paint. I think fluorescent green or pink because white doesn't stand out much. We also need to stick with the bigger phallic symbols since they can be seen better. Bigger and brighter is always good when one is trying to make a point....or a penis. Lime green penises would be delicious.

I've been driving this horrible road way too often now because it just brings me so much joy to see the big, hairy-balled penises all over the road. If the city does nothing, I hope it makes driving up and down the road more pleasurable for others.

Moments of Joy....

Moments of Joy

I recently had a debate with a friend on life and our expectations of happiness. I told her I didn't believe it was realistic to expect a life of happiness. Good things happen and bad things happen. It's a roller coaster ride of ups and downs. It's the bad experiences that give balance and help us appreciate our good experiences. All we can hope for is a life of overall contentment as we negotiate the ride. However, MCS is on a whole other level and to mitigate the negativity of this ongoing experience, I search and revel in moments of joy no matter how small or mundane. Sometimes this is a challenge, but I persist. Every day.

I was thinking about this today as I did a basic household repair. One of my wall heaters started blowing cold air. This is not good on a 30 degree morning when all outdoor surfaces are thick with ice. Four years ago another wall heater refused to work. I called the local furniture store for advice. The heater was only a few years old. The woman on the phone said she'd ask her repair guy and get back with me. I waited. A week later I figured they forgot so I headed to the nearest hardware store and bought a new heater. I installed it myself rather than hiring electricians at $80 hour, because I'm just that kind of woman (cheap). But I hung on to the old heater in case the repair guy would contact me.

He did! A few days later he told me it could be dust clogging the electrical points causing it to just not turn on. Hmmm...if this is the case, it would be a horrible waste of money to throw it out so I cleaned it the best I could, put it in a box, and stored it in the back of my closet until the next heater dies.

Here it is 2022, four years later. I dug the box out of the back of the closet, cleaned the heater with an electronic duster which released a whole litter of giant dust bunnies I must have missed with the first cleaning, electrified it, crossed my fingers, and turned it on. IT WORKS! OMG! I almost threw this old heater away not understanding it was just taking a little rest. Such a joyful feeling to not only save money, but be self-reliant.

Another moment of joy this month...2022 is starting out very joyous! This is a good sign. 

I sent one of my handmade, collage Christmas cards to Girl Alive in Malaysia. This was a risk. We both knew it. With the pandemic, international mail has been problematic at best, but I felt risky. The woman at the post office did some odd things that should have given me pause, but I ventured forth and sent it anyway. This was in November over a month before Christmas. It never arrived for Christmas. I was disappointed, and reprimanded myself for being so risky, but oh well, if it would have arrived, it might have brought my friend some Christmas joy.

January 20th...IT ARRIVED! Two months later, but IT ARRIVED! I was so shocked I accused her of lying to me just to make me feel better. LOL! (Sorry, Girl Alive!) So in January, a month kind of blah for joy, my friend received some surprised joy! I felt such overwhelming happiness for something so simple and random. So wonderful.

I love moments of joy. They make life...content.

White Christmas!

 I really love snow! It's so clean. The air is so crisp and fresh. When it falls, the world goes silent. I love it when it's new. 

Unfortunately where I live it rains year round and that makes for some soggy snow. When it does snow it rarely sticks. If it does stick, it turns to slush as soon as it hits the ground. Cars and people start milling around and the landscape is a big cesspool of slippery, cold mud.

But I still love snow. I also love how it stops the world. I personally won't drive in it until the roads are totally clear. I've seen enough cars uncontrollably sliding into each other. Most of the time I won't even go walk in it. I'll watch it from the warmth of my house gazing out the window at the miracle of it all.

This year was different! The snow started falling on Christmas day and by nightfall we were covered! I woke up the next morning to eight inches!

...And it just kept falling!

I thought I'd try to walk in it at my normal walking time around 5am in the dark. I bundled up and added a headlamp to my outfit. OMG! It was powder! Dry, fluffy, powder! The streets were ice packed from the cars, very slippery and dangerous, but as long as I stayed on the grassy sides and sidewalks, it was glorious. No one is out and about at 5am so I had this wonderland to myself. Safe, nontoxic fun! 

It snowed for about four days, stopping on the fifth, but remained dry and powdery. Such wonderful morning walks. At one point I attempted to make a snowman, but powder snow doesn't stick together and I couldn't form a ball.

On the sixth day I woke up hearing drips and drops. Rain. It's not going to last. I still headed out to test the snow. Still walkable. Everything is still covered, but the ice on the roads and sidewalks is starting to melt. Very slick and dangerous.

Toward the end of my walk, traversing through the park it came to me this is perfect snow for a snowman!!! Snowmen are so happy. I love it they will often last long after the snow has disappeared. Can I do this? I love making magical snowmen - the ones that just show up the next morning and people wonder where it came from? It wasn't there yesterday!!??

It's been a few years since I've made a snowman, but like riding a bike, recall is second nature. I rolled and packed the first gigantic ball. Then the second...but the second was too heavy to lift so I left it along side the first. This means I'll have to make two snowmen and I hoped my energy would last long enough.

I finished them then had to search for rocks for eyes. Then branches for arms. Mind you, I'm doing this in the dark!! My headlamp kept falling off my head every time I bent down. Also I was in a rush with time. I didn't want to get caught. I wanted it to be magical.

With two snowmen I thought I'd title it "LOVE" and make their branchy arms go around one another - that's because that second giant ball was left very close to the first. Happiness and love.

I trudged home, exhausted, but then I thought teenagers might destroy my lovers. So I trudged back with camera in hand. Unfortunately, it was dark and I couldn't get the flash to work...and their faces had already fallen off from the rain!! HAHAHAHA Too bad you can't see their arms around one another.

They make me happy. I don't think they last very long.

I went back later to see how my lovers were doing. LOL! THEY ARE MELTING. One is leaning affectionately into the other and both lost their faces. So in love they are faceless. LOL.

I attempted to patch them up and set the one up straight.

They are going to make me smile for a long time.

I FOUND A ROCK!!!

How did I not ever know about these painted rocks before now? It was quite by accident as I walked out of the co-op yesterday and there sat a painted rock for me to find! My first! I wanted to scream like a four-year old, "I FOUND A ROCK! I FOUND A ROCK!" Such an amazing, joyous experience! It has totally changed how I interact with the world. I walk and shop and even drive looking for places people might hide rocks. I've become obsessed!

Below is a photo of my treasure. Although my ownership of it was short-lived, the ecstasy of the find has lasted now for twenty-four hours. After coveting this gift closed to my bosom for barely a half an hour, I re-hid it to spread the joy.

I keep calling it "my rock" but I only found it. I hope the artist identifies herself and takes credit so I may thank her for the happiness she contributed to my day.

JOY!!!

Health Food

This is too funny:

Laughter is good!

Hawaii Snafu

Hawaii had some kind of emergency meltdown a few days ago broadcasting the warning of an incoming missile.

I can't imagine what people over there were thinking. It must have been a horrible feeling of doom. Unfortunately in our Trumpist climate with war literally on our doorstep due to that buffoon's unpresidential and unprofessional behavior, nothing is a surprise. The Stephen Colbert Late Show had the best response that had me literally LOL. You can see it HERE. (Although I don't think Hawaiians are laughing...maybe someday they'll see the humor in it.)

Still, if it were my last moments on earth, I'd like them to be in Hawaii.

I Wear Speedos

I love that song "Despacito". Actually I love anything Puerto Rican and there isn't enough Puerto Rican music out there anyway, but when one of the songs hits the top 10 in pop music, people pay attention. If you haven't heard the song here is the video:

I saw this parody on it and thought I would die laughing. It's hilarious:

It's like a mankini! 

HAHAHAHAHA

TOO FUNNY!

Laughter is good...

The Laundry Goddess

I have never in my life loved to do laundry. Until now! I am the proud owner of a new washer and dryer! I have done at least ten loads in the last 24 hours. It gives me great pleasure.

I've had one, cheap, used washing machine for the last 12 years. I've never really liked it. It was incredibly small, didn't clean the clothes very well, and lacked in choices. I've never had a dryer. They are energy suckers for sure, but more importantly they will damage clothes forcing the owner to shop too often. However, going to the laundromat to dry comforters, blankets or pillows that won't air dry fast enough is a health hazard. To survive the laundromat experience, I have to take a little plastic bag with a towel soaked in vinegar and wipe down the dryers in hopes of removing any fabric sheet or fabric softener residue. It usually worked...a little. I vowed if my washer went out while I'm still in this house and there is no hope to move in the near future, I'll buy myself a dryer along with the new washer.

Tiny Lone Washer
Perfect for Tiny Laundry Room

A month ago the washer died. It was 12 years old which is a good life for a washer and shows how incredibly patient I am (or cheap) to wait so long with a substandard appliance.

I started going to a laundromat that always had few customers and was rather clean, but I had a problem with a faulty machine which gave me pause. And then a friend was telling me her friend is very susceptible to athlete's foot and every time she uses a laundromat she gets it. Eeeeewww! Unless you are running the machines on hot water or filling them with bleach, you can get any kind of bacteria...or bed bugs. So I collected piles and piles of dirty clothes in the kitchen for a month. I was more than excited to get a new washer and dryer set, and the piles of dirty clothes motivated me. However, shopping always poses challenges for anyone who is chemically sensitive.

Living beyond civilization is the first challenge. No one wants to deliver. They won't even take bribes to deliver. They just don't want to deliver to the edge of civilization. I finally did find one store willing to venture out of their area for a price, but dealing with Home Depot is never a good experience. When I ordered from the stinky salesperson I was told it would take 7-10 days for it to be delivered to the store. Don't count on it. None of their customer service emails were managed, the "track delivery" didn't work, and most of their phone lines wouldn't let me push a department number. What a hassle!

After too much stress, the washer/dryer set was delivered. The delivery guys stunk. They hooked everything up, push the buttons and the dryer refused to work. They look. They check. Oh well! It must be the electricity! Not our problem. And left. Before they left they said, "If it's the dryer, MAYBE Home Depot will exchange it?" Remember the days when delivery was free and they actually made sure everything worked before they left? I was in a panic since contacting Home Depot and expecting to get a response is the hope of fools. I called my electrician instead and it was the electricity. My electricians are incredible, adorable, friendly, and totally fragrance-free, just expensive.

So I get everything working. The dryer stinks to high heaven. Modern appliances are made with a lot of plastic parts. It stinks like the new Cadet heaters, but I have run out of vinegar. I run it on high, open the window, and put the fan on high. We'll see. I have hope. And a headache.

So awesome to get new appliances! I've not had fluffy towels for 12 years! And these appliances are HUGE! I can fit two sets of sheets in the washer at a time! But it also has a sensor so I can also wash one pair of socks and the water only reaches to the socks. Technology is so incredibly. I feel like I've come out of the dark ages!

HOORAY FOR SPENDING MONEY!

HAPPINESS!

I CAN'T WAIT TO HAVE MORE DIRTY CLOTHES!

Bumper Sticker of the Week Award

Buckle up. 

It makes it harder for aliens to suck you 

out of your car.

(This made me laugh so hard...)

Happy Story

Girl Alive posted this on her blog recently: 

Her happy story was, "I CAN EAT ANYTHING!"  

It made me...happy!

So I thought, hmmm...

"CHEMICALS DO NOT EXIST!"

I imagine how different my life would be if there were no chemicals. How would the absence of chemicals impact the world? Would the missing convenience of chemicals make life harder? Would the toxins along with my health issues all disappear making my life much better? Slower? Safer? Worse? No perfumes, colognes or other personal poisons, but also no cars, gasoline, computers, phones, or paint. All chemicals are toxic, but are there some more acceptable than others making the risk worth it? Ponder, ponder, ponder...I wondering how I can reword my story to be more needs specific?

What is your four-word happy story?

My Kind of Exercise...

This is brilliant and hilarious:

I love it when he steps "off stage" and all the women crane their necks as if there really was a stage. LOL!

Laughter is good.

Where, Oh, Where is My Master Gardener?

Peter used to eat the leaves in the yard so there wasn't much for me to rake and clean. Not any more! It's my job now.

Leaves all over. What a mess!

Although Peter was a worrisome pain-in-my-butt at times, I miss him when I'm out in the garden and the yard feels really empty without him. And, as a leaf muncher he was really helpful.

 

 

There is a rabbit loose in the neighborhood. He looks like Peter only smaller. I'm thinking someone got a baby bunny for Easter and when it grew up, they got tired of him, and let him loose. I've had two neighbors stop me and ask if my rabbit escaped. One woman who has a bad habit of letting her dog run loose worried something would kill it. I'm sure you can imagine my response.... I think everyone would like it if I would adopt the little bunny, but no way do I want the responsibility and worry of another pet. However, it makes me happy to see him hopping around. I am hoping he will find his way in my yard and eat the leaves for me.

 

Here's a great video that somehow reminds me of the happiness that was once Peter. Even though it's a dog...

 

Crazy ass dog. The definition of pure joy.

A Love Letter

 

This is so adorable I had to share. It's a love letter written by Bennet, a four-year old boy, to his love interest, four-year old Baily. Bennet's mother helped him type it.

It reads:

Baily,

Will you please come to my house? Let's play together. I think you are pretty like a horse or a ladybug. I'm not sure which. You should come to my house and eat cheeses with me. I love you and I lost a tooth last night. I think I would like to do a magic trick for you and then let you watch me battle robots.

Love,
Bennet

So joyful.

 

 

My Dream House! Truly!

Wow. I thought my house was crazy. There are times I'm bordering on embarrassment when I give tours and those privileged enough to have been allowed access have really odd looks on their faces. Yes, I admit I've done some unconventional things on the walls and some of the furniture is unusual, but I now realize it's all relative!

Today I found the coolest house on the planet! It's an old, remodeled farmhouse in High Falls, NY, owned and designed by Kat O'Sullivan (her art company is called KATWISE) with her partner Mason Brown. She is my new idol! I'm stealing photos off the article because it's so outstandingly beautiful a mere link is not good enough:

FROM THIS:

How much do you think she paid for this nasty piece of work?



TO THIS:



 

 

I LOVE THE DOOR BELOW - IT'S A TYPICAL SQUARE DOOR, BUT IT'S BEEN PAINTED LIKE AN OLD MEDIEVAL DOOR WITH A ROUND TOP.

 



IT'S LIKE A LITTLE FAIRYTALE HOUSE OUT IN THE WOODS.

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE LANDSCAPE ROCKS. I'M SURPRISED THEY DIDN'T PAINT THEM!

 



 

LOVE THE MATCHING BUS:

I always think the fact my van matches the exterior of my house is cool, but I am now shamed by comparison.

 

BELOW IS A PHOTO WITH MASON BROWN WHO I THINK IS HER PARTNER OF SORTS, BUT NOT SURE. HE IS JUST AS COLORFUL AS THIS HOUSE. I LOVE THESE PEOPLE!

 

 

 

AND THEN THERE IS THE INTERIOR:

 

WOW! SOMEONE WHO ALSO PAINTS FURNITURE!

I LOVE THE TABLES! LOOK AT THE FEET.

 

I'M GUESSING MOST OF THE DECOR IS FOUND-OBJECTS THEY USED FOR BUILT-IN SHELVES, ADDITIONS, ETC. I TRULY LOVE IT. LOTS OF COMPLEMENTARY COLORS WHICH ARE EXCITING TO THE BRAIN.

 

THIS IS THE WEIRDEST ROOM IN THE HOUSE. IT'S SO...DULL! LOVE THE WINDOWS. THAT DOOR LOOKS LIKE IT'S HAND-MADE FROM BOARDS OR MAYBE JUST OLD-STYLE CONSTRUCTION. LOVE IT ALL!

 

 

 

HERE IS ANOTHER "BEFORE" PHOTO:

 



 

FOR MORE "BEFORE" PHOTOS AND MORE ROOMS CLICK HERE FOR THE LINK.

 

MY HEART WON'T STOP POUNDING! I AM SO INSPIRED...

 

COLOR IS JOY! I NEED MORE IN MY LIFE!

 

However, I can't do that kind of painting with this house or it would never sell. That is always on my mind when I feel the urge to do something crazy and that controls me. I'll have to wait until I build my next house. It will be my last house so I can get crazy and not care if it has to sell.

 

 

 

My New Joyful Theme Song

I LOVE this song! I love the message! So joyful!

Happiness is good. So are ice cream-colored pastels. And girl power!

In Search of Joy

If I'm lucky, I may live another 50 years, or 30 years, or 10. Or I might die tomorrow. I read once if you reach fifty years of age, you have a 75% chance of reaching 80. Or something like that. But then I see obituaries of lots of people who die at nearly any age...and many at my age. Regardless of when I die, I'm now old enough to take stock of my mortality as I watch each day go by faster and faster. I look back on what I've done and what I didn't do and wonder how I should live the rest of my life.

I was listening to a radio show the other day and the host asked, "If you could know the exact day and time of your death, would you?" Half of the people in the studio said, "Yes" and half said, "No". The "No's" explained it would cause them to worry too much. I'm a "Yes" girl. I want to know. As it is I worry too much about dying anyway. I worry about not only when it will happen, but how. Will I end up with a disease that destroys my body and crushes my spirit. Who will take care of me? Will I drive to the store tomorrow and collide with a logging truck? Will some psychopath break into my house next week and murder me in my bed? I worry if die alone at home, how long it will take for someone to find me? I worry if I die while camping out in the woods will anyone find me? I worry about what will happen to my house if I die. I worry about who will get my things when I'm dead. Not knowing when I will die makes the future an unknown. I worry about money, security, stability, and health. I worry about the choices I make and whether they are good ones that will sustain me for the rest of my life.  I could live another 50 years. How does one plan for that if there is a chance I could die next week?

So I started thinking about life. I think this is what we do as we age. Mortality trumps youthful immortality. How would I live differently if I knew the exact day and time of my death? For starters, I could plan the rest of my days and know how much money I might need for survival. Knowing would reduce the stress of work. I could get rid of everything I own and no longer worry about who is going to get it. Or sell my house and make it available to the new owners the day before my death day so I still have a place to live. Heck, I could spend every cent I have and not worry about who will get it! I would travel more. I'd be more adventurous with life because I already know when I'm dying. No worries.

My brother was in a coma once. He was on a motorcycle and swerved to avoid hitting a kid on a bicycle coming up the hill on his side of the road. During that three week time-out from life, God spoke to him and told him he would die from smoking. Did that make him quit smoking? Heck, no. He claims when God discloses this kind of information, He won't be changing His mind. There isn't a choice so changing his bad behaviors now would be useless. I don't know if knowing how you would die would be helpful, although I think if God told me I'd die from being eaten by a shark, I wouldn't be swimming in the future. I'd rather know the date and time I plan to die. I'm a planner.

But I have no idea when I'll die. With that in mind as I look into the unknown future, one thing I do know is I need more joy in my life. More joy, less stress. More joy, less worry. More joy, less disappointment. More joy, less anger. More joy, less hate. More joy, less work. Lately I've been considering joy with every decision I make. I ask, Will this contribute more joy to my life right now?

Joy is relative, however, to each individual's circumstances. What might bring joy to one person would create hell for someone who is chemically sensitive. I can't decide to go to a party or a restaurant without un-joyful consequences and I also can't treat myself to a day at the spa or go to an indoor concert or theatrical presentation. I can, however, have a garage sale and get rid of the junk and clutter in my life. So joyful!

My new Joy Plan involves making a grand effort at fixing my health. We'll see how far I can get. I'm trying not to give up which I tend to do. I figure if I can feel better, joy will be easier to attain. Unfortunately, this involves spending (wasting) a whole lot of money going to useless doctors and this frustration and stress could be the exact opposite of joy!

Lately my joy decisions do tend to revolve around financial choices. Spending money has always been difficult for me especially now. Chemically sensitive people often suffer from what someone coined as the PTSD of MCS. Once you've been disabled and unemployable, nearly homeless and in financial ruin, you tend not to want to spend money frivolously. Or at all. Even for basic necessities.

So my new Joy Plan is all about finding a balance between frugality and ecstasy. Who knows how much longer I will live, but it's time to starting enjoy my life more. Spending money is really fun as long as I can push aside the feeling of stress it creates. It's fun to treat myself with new things! Like new organic sheets. New clothes. New closets. New heating system. What else can I buy for some joy? Yes! Joy can be bought!

After my foot injuries, multiple doctor visits, and house remodeling, can I afford to go on vacation? Nope. Do I care? Nope. I'm going anyway!!!

Happy

You can't imagine how much I  LOVE  this song by Pharrell Williams and the video is so joyful.

 

 

Love it!

Or you can listen to the song over and over again and watch different people dance to it 24 hours a day:

http://24hoursofhappy.com/


And then you can watch people all over the world dance to this song!!!

PARIS:

 

DUBAI:

 

 

LONDON:

 

 

COTONOU, BENIN, AFRICA:

 

 

SO HAPPY! I love it.

 

I should make one from Rathole.

 

HAPPY - WE ARE FROM RATHOLE.

 

HAHAHAHAHA

 

WARNING: If you listen to this song too often it sticks to your brain and you'll be humming it 24 hours a day even in your sleep.

 

 

One Year Closer to Death

Birthdays used to be fun. Lots of gooey cake with loads of frosting and candles, ice cream, presents, cards, balloons and parties full of stinky people. They sometimes signified momentous occasions like getting a driver's license, being able to vote, or do some legal drinking. Now they just mark time. And they come faster. Still, it's not good to wallow in self-pity and wonder where the years went feeling like my life is over when in fact, I've only lived half of it.

So I celebrated by buying myself some new BIRTHDAY SLIPPERS! Healthier than cake and ice cream and cheaper than plastic surgery.

There is nothing more cheerful than new birthday slippers with cheerful, artsy designs on them.  These are from the Haflinger collection and the style is called Calypso. Perfect name for the design because they are happy slippers made for dancing! So new and just out of the box they still have tags on them.

Here is a photo with my feet in them feeling happy:

 

I ordered them off the Zappos website. I so rarely order anything online for fear of screw ups, but the shoe store I normally go to didn't have my size or my normal color. In fact it didn't have hardly any sizes and only one color! With all wood and tile floors in my house, I need slippers to provide cushion to my feet. Most brands are made out of synthetic petro-based materials and manufactured in China. Chinese slippers make my feet sweat uncomfortably and if I'm ever caught in a house fire, they would melt on my feet. Gross.

Haflingers are Polish and made from natural boiled wool, not sprayed or treated, non-smelly without any chemicals, warm, and so comfortable. The last pair I bought were Haflingers, too. They had hard soles so I could walk around outside if I wanted. Well, I never go outside with them because I have no desire to contaminate the inside of my house with outside dirt. Unfortunately, those hard soles were noisy and left black marks all over my floors so I was hoping to find something less high maintenance.

Although the store failed miserably at making a sale, I feel very fortunate. I came home, got online and found them not only in my color, but in these wild colors! And this wild design doesn't have hard soles instead nice soft-ish ones with skid dots.



For those of you who might be interested in buying all wool slippers, they do wear out especially in the toes. My old ones are about three years old and they lasted that long only because I kept sewing the holes closed.

Thankfully I live alone or I'd be embarrassed! HA!

 

I normally wear my dark wool socks with them so the holes aren't as noticeable, but even socks won't help now that the holes are so big. The slippers were practically falling off me. I considered patching them up and then decided I deserved new, happy, birthday feet! Sometimes you just have to treat yourself!

 

On top of all that these were about $15.00 cheaper online and no shipping fees. It only took them four days to arrive just time for my very own personal holiday. The order asked me if I wanted to include a message with my package and I thought, WHY NOT? My message was:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I LOVE YOU!

HAHAHAHAHAHA

 

It makes one year closer to death a little easier to take.

Now I want some matching pajamas and bathrobe....strawberry colored.

"It's in your mother's anus..."

Girl-Nearly-Not-Alive-with-Butt-Spasms sent this link to me and guaranteed I would laugh so hard I wouldn't be able to breathe. It features examples of text autocorrecting conversations. As I started reading I was smiling, but thought Maybe I'm just not in a laughing mood today? It didn't take long before I was laughing so hard and loud I couldn't breathe and tears were running down my face as I desperately raced to the bathroom before I peed my pants. Besides the weirdly perverted and pornographic-oriented computer brains of the autocorrect, the conversations are hilarious as they attempt to continue the conversation trying to make themselves understood. Usually it just gets worse the more they try.

For "The 30 Most Hilarious Autocorrect Struggles Ever" click HERE

 

 

Enjoy. Laughter is good.

Christmas Jammies

This is hilarious. Enjoy.

 

 

 

 

 

Laughter is good.