I Am a Crack House Photographer

How many people can claim that?

In the past I have written about the need to get a part-time job to fill my time and give my life some balance, but finding one that is fragrance and chemical free is very close to impossible. Most want you to deal with the public in some capacity. Then I came across an ad for "real estate photography". All you needed was a computer, camera, and car. Real estate experience is a plus and I figure since I own my very own money pit, I qualify. They pay a meager amount and you take the allotted number of photos of the property they request. They don't tell you why the photographs need to be taken. I got the impression I shouldn't ask.

One of the requirements of the job is speed. I was told I shouldn't spend more than a minute at any house. Drive up, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, and leave. More recently I was told I shouldn't even get out of my vehicle especially if I'm out in the country, on a dead-end road, and I hear vicious, barking dogs getting closer in an non-lollygagging fashion. I was really happy to find that out. What they didn't tell me is people don't like it when you photograph their house OR their neighbor's house. If there is anything going on that might be questionable or illegal, they assume that is why you are there!  I hope I can drive faster than a speeding bullet!

So far I've been safe. No stink to smell in the privacy of my van. Some of the neighbors glare at me with arms folded and I had one rush toward me demanding to know if he could help me. Obviously he wasn't interested in helping me. I responded with a smile, cheerfully exclaimed, "No thank you!" as I jumped back in my van and tore off down the road. Almost all assignments are for exteriors. I prefer the interior shots since that means no one is living in the house, but they are time consuming as I'm required to photo a minimum of 20 snaps of the interior and then more of the exterior. I still prefer it to risking my life.

The things I do for excitement. Heck, the things I do for fragrance-free money!

Work

Work and being productive is a basic human need and intrinsic to human dignity. It makes us feel valuable, exercises both mind and body, and if we are really lucky, provides security in the form of income. Don't confuse work with job as the former is productivity of any kind and a job is "work for hire" or a responsibility that provides money. Not really the same, but for many it is.

Jobs are great. They pay the bills, keep food on the table, and a roof over your head. Careers are better as the stability guarantees the food and the roof for a longer time. We, as humans, can put up with a lot of drudgery and soul-sucking hell for that stability, dragging ourselves out of bed each morning, suffering any number of indignities as we trudge through each day desperately counting down each hour until the weekend. People who cheer THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY have jobs. This can be work at its worst.

I've worked at jobs most of my life. I often had two jobs at the same time: one for money and one for fun. At one point I had four part-time jobs at the same time. I liked the variety and they were all fun, but part-time usually means no benefits or no insurance. Subsequently I was drawn back to the rat race. I sacrificed authenticity and satisfaction for misery. A high price to pay for income and benefits. All of my jobs were customer service or people-oriented.

When I became chemically sensitive I lost all ability to work with people. I found myself directionless. What do I do now? All past experience and familiar options were forbidden. At one point I was in a store talking to friends telling them how difficult the adjustment was going from four jobs to nothing. One of them said, "Maybe that was the point. The universe is telling you to take a rest." Hmmm...I did. I had no choice.

I was unemployed for about two years and considered disabled so I didn't qualify for unemployment benefits. Time constantly felt like it was running out. Homelessness loomed over my head like a big, black cloud as I watched my bank account dwindle to nothing. During that time I worked. I kept busy. To not be productive was unimaginable as I would have gone crazy with stress and worry. Work kept my mind off my problems and made me feel like I was doing something to move forward. When I wasn't cleaning, reorganizing, or redecorating my home, I wrote letters to various organizations about MCS and researched information on anything of interest. I even volunteered for friends. For one, I wrapped all her Christmas presents and decorated her house with holiday cheer. Another I did her gardening, and another I cut little squares of fabric for her quilting projects. I also helped several people move. I worked full-time all the while brainstorming ways I could turn my unemployment activities to income.

During this unemployment phase, I met with job counselors. Most of them were useless. One wanted me to be a professional babysitter. HA! The ultimate nightmare! Their ignorance of my situation was incredibly frustrating. Job search is challenging all by itself, but job search with lots of restrictions is worse. Not knowing what to do for work is frightening.

I've always heard the perfect job involves doing something you love. I used to take this literally yet wondered how I could turn my hobbies into income. It's not as easy as it sounds. How many people who love to sing or act become famous? How many people who paint make money? How many people can create a mega-business with home projects like Martha Stewart? Dreams don't always translate to money. Now that I'm older and wiser I'm finally figuring out it's not necessarily things you love, but to question how you work best. What kind of work do you love to do that excites your very soul and makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning. This soul-searching isn't easy but it could be the difference between a job you hate and work you love. Making something happen takes a whole lot of work, time, and commitment. When the going gets tough or the money in the bank starts to disappear, many want to give up. Giving up on a new career is easy if you aren't chemically sensitive or disabled as falling back on previous experience is an option.

I spent most of my youth ignoring my dreams and focusing on what would make me money. I choose my college major based on prospective income and security while ignoring my true needs. I interviewed for jobs that were prestigious rather than doing what I would have enjoyed. I ignored who I was and instead focused on who I thought I should be. I wonder how my life would have turned out if I chased dreams instead of money? A lot of those dreams involved chemicals. Would the satisfaction of doing something I loved negated future chemical sensitivity, or would I have been doomed just as easily?

Who knows? All I can do is live my life the best of my ability and keep working today toward a better tomorrow.

The Three R's

 

The three R's? Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic? Only one of them begins with R which makes me question the education and intelligence of the person who coined this phrase...

My three R's: Rest. Relaxation. Recouperation.

August has been a busy month for me. Don't get me wrong! I love being busy and productive with a variety of projects on my list. I save so much for summer because it's when the weather is warm. It's impossible to paint in freezing temperatures or dig in the garden during a monsoon. This is my time of the year to get things done.


Summer is also when my fatigue kicks in so nearly every day between 2pm and 5pm I collapse. As usual, I have no idea why this happens. Why only in the afternoon and why only in the spring and summer? It's not Hashimoto's or any number of health issues I've had tested. I've totally re-structured my diet hoping for some answsers and nothing has helped. It's a mystery.


For instance, riding a bike is difficult due to the stamina required, but hauling a truck-load of beauty bark is do-able. Hiking is also challenging because one needs to maintain a level of energy for a period of time, but digging all the grass out of my front yard is fine. Reading can exhaust me, but mixing and pouring nine bags of 60 lb. concrete doesn't faze me. I wish I understood the reasoning behind this and what is causing the fatigue, but I'm at a loss. Activities that require stamina are out, short-term strenuous projects are in. Even with the fatigue I keep busy.


In addition to the loading beauty bark, removing lawn and making a concrete step, I spent August scraping paint off my roof eaves, supervising numerous construction workers (both competent and incompetent types - the idiots are much more work and stress, of course), moving heavy items and packing boxes for a garage sale, cleaning and painting the inside of my garage, building a succulent picture frame, re-designing some garden beds, ongoing gardening which includes weeding, cutting, trimming, and digging, and picking and freezing berries.


Nine bags of 60 lb. concrete for this tiny step!

Last, but not least, I washed my kitchen/laundry/bathroom/mud room tile floor which is about 60 square feet of white porcelain.  This is a project I do twice a year in the spring and in the fall. In between these major washing events, I spot clean and wipe spills, but this twice a year sterilization involves taking everything out of these rooms, scrubbing the floor on my hands and knees with Planet Ultra Dishwashing Liquid the all-purpose miracle soap and a dash of peppermint oil, rinsing with a mop, rinsing with a wet towel, drying with a white towel, and this year, re-sealing the grout which involves spraying the sealer and polishing it off.

THEN I put it all back together, hauling the furniture back in place which includes two sets of tables and chairs, two chairs, a step ladder, two cases of Planet Dishwashing Detergent, an ironing board, a drying rack, ten pairs of shoes, a shelf with books, three laundry hampers and five rugs. While I'm scrubbing the floor the rugs are in the washing machine and then hung to dry.

As I'm scrubbing, I imagine myself a novice in a nunnery suffering greatly for all the sins I have committed...too bad the miracle soap doesn't miraculously make the bruises on my knees disappear.

Sparkly clean!

It takes about five hours so as you can imagine with my fatigue issues I must time it right and try to find a day when I'm feeling uncommonly energetic and not swamped with other commitments. This year I missed the spring wash, but it was finally crossed off my to-do list a week ago. And it was haunting me the whole time. Not much worse than looking at a dirty, grimy floor...of WHITE tiles. Once they are clean they shine so beautifully it makes me not want to walk on the floor!


On top of all that, I work at a computer all day mousing, flipping screens and typing.

Needless to say, I am in PAIN. From the tips of my fingers to my shoulders my arms feel like they are being ripped off. Like I have pulled every muscle. Typing is excruciating. Lifting a glass of water makes me wince. Moving anything makes me whimper. Peter is lucky he's getting fed due to the weight of his feed dishes. I've overworked my appendages. About a week ago my whole body including my legs felt the same way from going up and down ladders for three days in a row, but thankfully the leg pain went away. Computer work and typing aggravates the arms making it worse.

Never used to be like this. When I first moved into this house I assumed all the work I'd be doing on it would build muscle, stamina and make me strong. Nope, pain and exhaustion. The last time I had this same pain was when I re-roofed my garage five years ago and all that hammering was crippling. At that time I vowed I wouldn't be doing anymore huge projects as it's too risky since it effects my employment. Who would have known all these little projects would create such paralyzing pain?  A few days ago I was typing with my right hand's index finger which is just a little less painful than my left. Needless to say, work is slow and now I'm avoiding my computer much to the dismay of my disappearing income.

So I'm trying very hard to Relax, Rest, and Recouperate. It drives me nuts to try to do nothing when I can see all the projects I still need to finish before the bad weather arrives. Watering the garden is even painful. The remedy: an ocean adventure! At the ocean I don't have to look at the projects not getting done, I can admire the scenery and breathe in the fresh air.