2023: Review and Resolution

 

There is so much to be said about 2023! Let's get started:

EXCELLENT STUFF:

ART FESTIVALS, MARKETS, AND OTHER SUMMER EVENTS:  I've written a whole post on this called "The Escape Plan". It was wonderful, fun, exhausting, lucrative and kept me busy all summer. I got rid of a lot of art and made way more money than I could have imagined.

EBAY: I also wrote about eBay on the "The Escape Plan" post. If you need to get rid of "stuff", eBay is the place to go! It's a very steep learning curve, but once you survive it, it's very easy. If you enjoy thrifting, using this venue to resell can make you a lot of money.

ART: Doing art has always been life-affirming. It's great entertainment. I spent all year decorating envelopes, painting rocks, painting canvases, painting watercolors, painting frames, and painting signs. I had two commissions this year: one an acrylic canvas and the second a watercolor wedding portrait. Currently I'm painting sand dollars!

PEN PALLING: I have a great group of pen pals. It's been fun decorating envelopes for them. I appreciate their friendship and conversation.

FRAGRANCE FREE PEOPLE: I appreciate anyone I come into contact with who doesn't stink.

HEALTH CARE: For most of the year I avoided doctors and that always serves me well. At the end of the year I found a new health care practitioner. She seems wonderful, new, eager, open-minded. However, I've only had one appointment and I know they usually fail by the third appointment. For now this is a win and I'm hopeful.

FREE STUFF: I'm still getting free stuff at the local Christian thrift store, just not as much as they've cracked down. They are now taking time to clean and fix things rather than throw them in the free pile. Darn it all. Still, I've gleaned some excellent things throughout the year and years before. Christmas cards, for one.

CHRISTMAS CARDS: The free store is always putting Christmas cards in the free pile. Prior to Christmas I had about 300. This year I gather them up and sent them to three different senior care centers! I figured there are lots of people in these assisted living places who don't have family or friends and might like a cheerful Christmas card. It makes me feel good to imagine they might be giving someone Christmas joy.

HO HUM, IN THE MIDDLE, NOT GOOD/NOT BAD OR BOTH STUFF:

POST OFFICE: Selling on eBay and pen palling means I am subjected to the postal abuse too often. A lot of the time the postal workers are wonderful and helpful. Other times my letters never arrive and no one seems to know what has happened to them. Really? Tracking is useless. If the package or item disappears, even enroute, there doesn't seem to be anything they can do! It's just gone! Very irritating.

HEALTH DIAGNOSIS: I was finally diagnosed with Mast Cell Activation Syndrome. This isn't a surprise as MCAS has been linked to both MCS and Hashimoto's along with allergies and food sensitivities. It all goes together, unfortunately. It seems to be the answer to all my symptoms that every doctor in the last twenty years didn't seem to understand or had no answers. Ah ha! This should probably go under "Bad Stuff", but it's is good to finally have a diagnosis so I know what it is, but it sucks to have it. I've started a low-histamine diet and attempting a very expensive prescription. We'll see. 

NEW HOME SEARCH: What a hassle, but hopeful!

BAD STUFF:

VEHICLES: Oh the horror! Trying to buy a vehicle when one is chemically sensitive is a nightmare. I did find a non-smelly salesperson who I really like. He seems to have a keen sense of smell until he desperately wants to sell me a car that has already been detailed with stink then all of a sudden he claims he's had a cold so forgive his zero sense of smell. Totally untrustworthy for a buck. On top of that, used vans are rare...there are few and far between. If I want to order a new van (which I don't), I'd have to order it and it takes a year to get! Wow! On top of THAT (!) my old van is now so old it's leaking! What a hassle. My old van has been the best vehicle I've ever owned, but I waited too long to sell it. On top of THAT (!!), my adorable Scion IQ is so old and the model is no longer made so finding parts is a challenge. Damn. She may need to be sold as well.

DEATH: Old friends are dying! I tend to stalk my old friends as a way to catch up and stay in the loop. One hadn't posted anything for a while which is very odd. She died! So discombobulating. I went to tell another mutual friend we had and she has just been diagnosed with cancer and has been given two months to live. It's freaking me out. It's making me sell stuff and clean out my house much faster!

2024 NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS: Stay alive...MOVE! It's going to be a great year!

Male-Practicing

My new functional medicine doctor made his agenda very clear during the second appointment.

Wait, let's start at the beginning. The first appointment he spent one hour READING my new patient intake form. He asked very few questions and rarely even looked up at me. I found myself spending most of that hour staring at the floor. I drove two hours to be at that appointment. Why not just read in the privacy of his office and let me stay at home? Then he charged my insurance $600 for the hour. Is it any wonder I think doctors are overpaid? 

Our health care system accepts and promotes "practicing" as viable health care. If doctors don't find a solution, a remedy, the patient just keeps returning putting more money in their pockets. There should be a money-back guarantee. At the very least there should be standards of efficacy. 

This doctor also doesn't listen. What is new? It doesn't matter what I'm trying to tell him. Heck, I don't even think he read the intake form or he glossed over the parts that didn't fit his methods of practicing. His agenda isn't health care or at least MY health care.

More importantly, I think these functional medicine doctors have specific, single-minded protocols, and have no intention of veering off the established path. It would be too much work to actually recognize the patient is an individual with individual health care concerns. So much easier to see them as just another cow in the herd. After all, we are all the same. "Let's practice on that cow. We can do anything we want with a compliant cow as long as they are fed. It's not like they have the brains to question or complain."

I actually went back for a second appointment. Why? Because I'm a good cow. OK. My insurance actually covers him. That makes him cheap. I guess you get what you pay for. Most other doctors have a two-month wait for an appointment now. I justified if I can get a workable prescription so I can continue my thyroid experiments, it would be worth his insolence. Maybe he'll eventually accept me as a human being? Not likely. So far after every appointment I'm disgusted and vow never to return, but....I'm just as bad as he is supporting this health care system of incompetence.

He ordered $3,000 worth of tests during the second appointment, half of them I had done in the past year with lab copies in hand. Several of those tests I had done up to three times in the past year! He explains he prefers another lab. I wonder if he has stock in this lab? The other half of the tests are for nutrient levels and possible deficiencies...but I clearly explained on the intake form and again, verbally I am incredibly drug intolerant. I went into great detail writing every side effect up and down the margins. Does he think I'll invest in a cupboard full of pills and willingly take them? I can see he's not listening and I can foresee his agenda...excessive testing...then prescribing a closet full of supplements. He is no different than any other functional medicine doctor. 

About half of the tests are not covered by my insurance. One of the tests costs $450. A friend of mine is a practitioner and has access to tests. She said the lab charges about $200. The rest is the doctor's add-on charge. He's getting paid more than the test costs just to order it! There should be a law against this.

My labs showed nearly all nutrients fine so at least I know the diet is working. My iodine levels are low but he can't answer why. He tells me, "Every [cow] is low in iodine." He knows so little about Hashimoto's he doesn't understand the disease was relatively unknown until the government started fortifying foods with iodine...now Hashimoto's is an epidemic. Iodine supplementation will cause autoimmune attacks in people with Hashimoto's. He doesn't seem to understand that. Or maybe he just doesn't care. He doesn't get paid to diagnose correctly so why would he? I asked him why my autoimmune antibodies have increased. His answer, "Because you have an autoimmune disease." OH. MY. GOD. The incompetence makes me barf.

When I repeat once again, although very gently and sweetly to not rock the pedestal he has placed himself on, how I've done all these tests and treatments. How I am very intolerant to drugs of any kind including pharmaceuticals, but also supplements and herbs. I know this from experience. I can tell he's not listening. And he's ignored anything I've said about chemical sensitivity. Zero acknowledgement. His rant begins:

"If you can't do exactly what I want you to do, then I can't help you. You'll need to find another doctor."

I wanted to SCREAM at him, "YOU CAN'T HELP ME IF YOU DON'T LISTEN TO ME!" I didn't. It wouldn't matter. Then the truth presents itself:

He says, "Your insurance doesn't pay me enough because of the contract I have with them. I can only take insurance because I am HERE."

HERE? I pondered this for a while. What did he mean HERE? While pondering I resisted the urge to scream, "YOU ARE OVERPAID ANYWAY!"

I wondered if he treats his male patients the same way? Does he snap at them when they ask him questions? Does he dismiss what they are saying? Does he demand total compliance from another man and expect that man not to question? Hmmm....

HERE. He is bought and sold by a supplement company. He represents them and his office is located HERE in their complex. He is so compromised as a supplement salesperson there is no way he can be objective. It stands to reason he will order  as many tests as possible to justify prescribing as many supplements as possible so it will support his bottom line. That is where he makes his money. It's not about health care, it's about profit mongering. Most doctors aren't this honest with their underlying agenda as they pretend to be health care providers, but I think he just loves to hear himself talk.

Seriously, health care disgusts me. The stench of money is nearly as bad as the stink of perfume.

I went back for a third appointment. He's not happy with the fact the test results don't justify prescribing copious amounts of pills so for the third appointment he orders another $1,000 worth of tests. After arguing with him (gently), he finally gives me the prescription I want. I think he just wants me gone. LOL. I will be gone eventually. It's just a matter of time.

Adios, orange cone.

OMG A Real Doctor? I'm in SHOCK!

I think I finally found a good doctor! I'm hesitant to say anything in case he was just on his best behavior for the first appointment or I jinks it by by expressing my shock and joy.

This is the doctor I've been trying to see for years and just recently subjected myself to his new nurse practitioner or the orange-coned oxymoron. Because I "established care" with her, I can see him! What a game they play! But I went along with it and very apprehensively, made an appointment to see him. I was ready to be disappointed, expecting the worst yet hoping for a good outcome. Or at least a tolerable experience.

He was friendly, considerate, patient, incredibly knowledgeable, and a really, really, really good listener. He did not stink! He asked good questions, had wonderful insight, and then when I asked him about prices instead of telling me it wasn't his job to know prices like the oxymoron did, he actually knew prices! Then he looked at my chart which you'd think would be a given for any health care provider. He asked if I had recent labs. I actually brought copies of my recent labs to the oxymoron appointment, but she never even bothered to ask even with my "thyroid problems" marked on my intake paperwork. What an idiot! The doctor didn't push any procedures or drugs, but asked about them and was very respectful when I said, "Nope, can't do that." or "No way in hell will I ever do that again!" I have heard from others he opposes pharmaceuticals and will opt for any other kind of treatment first.

Wow! Pinch me I must be dreaming!

And unlike the oxymoron's nurse, the doctor's nurse didn't stink! She was also friendly and wonderful.

I still can't believe this...but I am hopeful!

Happy Valentine's Day to me!

The Oxymoron vs. The Patient Patient

I decided to check a local medical clinic to see if the doctor was taking new patients. It's the only one in my area I haven't heard bad things about and the only one who has never taken new patients. I'd really like to find a physician sort of close in case of serious illness or injury that would prevent me from traveling to a not-so-local doctor. Not that I have any doctor currently. Not that I really want any doctor now. I'd much rather never in my life see another provider of HEALTH CARE, a phrase which is an oxymoron.

The doctor is still not taking new patients, but they have adopted a new nurse practitioner who is. Hmm...OK, maybe I can establish care and just put them on hold unless something bad happens? And then pray nothing bad happens. They tell me I have to have an appointment every two years to maintain my patient status.

I have zero confidence in nurse practitioners. I had one tell me I was dying. I had another ignorantly blame a health issue on something minor only to end up in a hospital. Another who thought removing a body part to be the best remedy. I know for a fact they are incompetent and know nothing. I just want to establish care in case of an emergency. For lack of options, this is it and I'll take my chances only if I can't get somewhere else. I kept chanting, Don't expect competence or you'll be disappointed.

But the nurse practitioner (who will be referred to as the OXYMORON going forward) isn't qualified. (HA!) She's trying to become qualified and trying to get a contract with my insurance company. When will this happen? The office knows nothing. The receptionist tells me to check back in two weeks when she comes back from vacation. What? So the clinic closes down for the receptionist's vacation? I doubt it. Still, I ventured forth, kind and smiling with no intention of rocking the boat, and hoping to appear compliant, understanding, and patient. Or patient-like. Is that where the word comes from? Patients are called patients because they are forced to be patient when dealing with dipshit doctors who are incompetently practicing and pretending they know something? Hmmm....I've never made that connection before!

I contact them at two weeks exactly.  The OXYMORON is now taking patients and next week is available. OK! Don't forget to bring your co-pay. Ummm, no, I don't have a co-pay. Oh, yes, you do! Oh, no I don't. I'm failing at compliance already. I'm just not good with the medical establishment. Ever.

I go home and get on my insurance website. They don't have my new OXYMORON on their list. So how can she be one of their providers if she isn't on the list to select? I call the insurance company. After an hour of waiting I hang up. I wait a day later and try again and this time only wait for forty-five minutes. I try again. Yes, OXYMORON is on the list just not on the computer because the doctor's office has failed so miserably at managing their account. They sign me up with her as my primary care provider which means I get freebies. No co-pay. All this fighting with the front desk and arming myself with information because the front office doesn't know anything is a hassle. And I haven't even seen the OXYMORON yet! This is disturbing. I know it's a clue to run, but I don't. Be patient patient!

The OXYMORON's nurse smells like a French whore. Strike one.

The OXYMORON doesn't do compounding prescriptions. She doesn't know how. Strike two.

The OXYMORON doesn't seem to know what pericardial effusion is and tells me if I have it I should go to the hospital immediately.  Strike three. (I confess here I did not tell her it's a common Hashimoto's symptom. I was trying to be compliant and avoid letting her know her patient patient probably knows more than she does.)

The OXYMORON blames the weather for one of my health issues. What a moron. (At strike three anyone with common sense might have walked out but I am determined to be a patient patient.)

The OXYMORON blames another symptom on a health condition, but can't explain the logistics since I don't have any other symptoms.

The OXYMORON fails miserably at understanding another health issue and fails at giving basic advice. Online information is more helpful.

The OXYMORON doesn't even listen to my heart and after I leave she has to come out to get me and finish the basic procedure.

The OXYMORON doesn't even suggest labs. Really? I marked right on the intake form "underactive thyroid". So odd.

The OXYMORON hugs me. I draw the line there.

I followed this appointment up with a visit to the pharmacist. The pharmacist knows and gives more information than the OXYMORON.

I hope I never have to see the OXYMORON again. Ever.

A recent article stated these incompetent, waste of time and money OXYMORONS can make up to $100,000 a year and their job requires no previous experience! What an atrocity our health-uncare system is!!

MCS and Health Care Accessibility

I recently wrote this letter to a state representative who is working on health care accessibility for the chemically sensitive. I was surprised to hear of any politician who has this issue on their agenda, but it seems this one has a whole committee of like-minded people! We always think we are alone in our struggles. This gives me hope, but I know change is slow in coming...

I am writing on the lack of health care accessibility for people with Multiple Chemical Sensitivity (MCS). MCS is a medical condition where everyday chemical-based products create illness and often life-threatening side effects compromising health and negatively impacting quality of life. For MCS patients, health care is limited due to the lack of fragrance-free policies for staff and patients in medical facilities.

I was diagnosed with Multiple Chemical Sensitivity in 2002 after being poisoned at the school where I taught. Although the school was relatively new, only ten years old, the faulty ventilation system created a mold problem. My first day on the job the carpets were being replaced and the adhesives were being stripped with toxic chemicals. Everyone complained of the various smells in the building, however, it didn't bother me until they all began spraying the halls and classrooms with perfumes and air fresheners to camouflage the stink. When my health deteriorated beyond repair, I lost my teaching career, I was forced to move out of the city away from family and friends, I discontinued most recreational activities involving people, and I reinvented a new, isolated life away from the use of everyday chemical poisons.

Health care in general is a struggle. Most conventional medicine doctors who are dependent on chemical company pharmaceuticals don't recognize MSC and even if they do they are inadequately prepared or trained in knowing how to address it. Research is virtually nonexistent since chemical companies are in control of funding much of the time. When I first started showing signs of MCS, I went a local, well-known hospital with a department specializing in environmental medicine. The doctor whispered confidentially it was clear I was reacting to the air fresheners and perfumes on the job, but if he admitted this, the American Medical Association would "come down on him." After many years of experience I have found disclosing chemical sensitivity is met with patronizing skepticism and condescending sarcasm so I have learned if I want even substandard, partial treatment for any health condition, I must avoid mentioning any complications related to MCS.

Unfortunately, over the years I have mentioned my MCS diagnosis to not only environmental medicine specialists, but naturopaths and integrative or holistic doctors because they acknowledge the problem. The risk with disclosure is the information ends up in my records which are sometimes transferred to other, less knowledgeable doctors. I've been denied specialist care because of this information and I've had conventional doctors treat me with contempt and disrespect after they review my records. Some confess on the phone or in the office that is why I'm being denied. There are no patient protection laws. Doctors can deny treatment or care to anyone for whatever reason. I must constantly be vigilant with what I disclose to any doctor as it can compromise health care options that would otherwise be available to me.

Due to this AMA-controlled denial and skepticism, finding a health care facility that is fragrance-free or scent-free is challenging due to the copious use of perfumes, colognes, air fresheners, or essential oils by doctors, nurses, and staff members. My former optometrist now uses air fresheners due to a ventilation problem after an office remodel. A local dentist sprays his office down with air fresheners. The area chiropractor fills his office at Christmas time with fake floral arrangements and wreaths scented with chemicals. Another local doctor baths in body spray in attempt to hide his own bad body odor. I've even experienced naturopaths or acupuncturists who scent their offices with "natural" air fresheners, essential oils, incense, or scented candles. I cannot enter scented spaces without becoming incredibly ill. The Hippocratic Oath states health care professionals should do no harm. Using poisonous chemical-based scented products in these facilities is contradictory to the whole point of seeking medical care.

Unfortunately, in order to protect my health, I often must disclose my limitations by asking if the air quality of medical facilities are safe. I always call an office anonymously prior to making an appointment and ask if their doctors, nurses or office personnel wear fragrances or use air fresheners. Most do.  If I am told they don't, I cautiously and again anonymously visit before making the appointment unless travel time restricts a casual visit.  Most people don't understand basic questions regarding "scented products" or "fragrances" and have no comprehension of the vast products that are included in this category.  Others defiantly defend their personal habits. The staff at one local clinic does use perfumes and colognes and they have informed me they have no plan to discontinue this unhealthy practice. I was told by the physician's assistant in another facility she most certainly does use fragrances and I should find another clinic.

At even another doctor's office a receptionist told me they didn't use fragrances so I made an appointment and in excited anticipation waited a month to see the doctor. The afternoon before my appointment having not received a confirmation call I called the office myself. Determined to maintain my health knowing I must continuously protect myself from unexpected environmental changes, I asked again if fragrances or scented products were being used. The receptionist informed me, "Of course you can wear perfume! We all do." Shocked I replied, "But I was told your office didn't use fragrances." She became flustered, apologized for not understanding my question, and corrected herself. I sighed in relief and thanked her. This worried me greatly, but needing medical care I was desperate to believe it would work. Fifteen minutes later I was called back and told not to bother coming in because the doctor didn't think it would be a "good fit." I sat on the phone in silence, speechless. She repeated and asked if I understood they were cancelling my appointment at the last minute. According to their cancellation policy, I would be charged $50.00 for any appointment cancelled without a twenty-four hour notice. Unfortunately, their policy did not extend to their own cancellation without adequate warning.

The few health care facilities that do have a fragrance-free policy for staff rarely do they extend this policy to patients as it would be bad for business. Money, not health care, is always the priority. If I choose to risk an exposure out of desperation, I must ask which day is the least busiest and must plan my appointment to be the first one of the day stressing and praying no stinkers will contaminate the air space. This time slot is popular so waiting for weeks for an appointment is a common occurrence. Still, this doesn't always work and if I must cancel due to an exposure in their office, a cancellation fee is always imposed. Having MCS is very expensive.

Even some medical facilities that do have comprehensive fragrance-free policies don't enforce them. I worked for a medical clinic who professed MCS knowledge and had a stated chemical-free policy, but behind the scenes they were spraying toxic mold killer in their plants on the weekends and some of their staff wore scented products to work. When patients displayed side effects from these exposures, the doctors and staff claimed ignorance and blamed the patient. Another medical office has a policy and posts warnings on their doors, however, they have products scented with essential oils in their office contaminating the air. (Essential oils, even those claiming to be natural or organic, are processed with chemicals and emit VOCs making them just as toxic as any other fragrance.) Written and posted policies that are not enforced are false advertising and dangerous to those of us who depend on these protections.

I've heard as many as eighteen percent of the population are seriously chemically sensitive requiring lifestyle alterations to avoid life-threatening complications. Around five percent are classified as disabled due to MCS. Thirty-three percent of the population have minor side effects to everyday poisons and experience headaches, sinus congestion, dizziness, or coughing that can be erroneously explained away as a cold. These statistics have increased in the sixteen years since I was diagnosed.

Those with Multiple Chemical Sensitivity are not the only patients who react badly to chemically-based scented products. People with asthma, COPD, or other respiratory problems are seriously impacted by fragrances. Patients with cancer, autoimmune diseases, headaches/migraines, or women who are pregnant can be very sensitive to scented products as well. Allowing these toxins in medical facilities is detrimental to everyone's health and negates the whole concept of health care.

These are just a handful of examples of how I personally I've been treated by health care professionals in the last sixteen years. I do recognize in the last five years it seems health care is more aware of MCS and more facilities are making a better effort toward safer air quality. This is a slow improvement, but a hopeful one. In addition, although I appreciate the effort of the Affordable Health Care Act in the ability to obtain reasonably priced health care insurance, I resent the requirement of insurance. What is the point of purchasing insurance if health care is not accessible? Although health care dialogue always seems to center on the insurance issue, the medical system as a whole is in dire need of major reform.

Thank you. If you have any questions regarding my experiences, I'd be happy to answer them.

  

These are just a few examples of what I have to deal with when I attempt to go to a doctor. I tried to keep it short, but failed miserably. I could write a whole book on the subject! 

COLONOSCOPY

First of all, if I didn't absolutely have to get a colonoscopy to find out what is wrong with my colon, I absolutely wouldn't. The opposition says this is a ploy of American doctors to make money. No other country in the world demands such an invasive, dangerous procedure to be done on patients just as a preventative measure. Unfortunately, with my non-working colon, most of the many doctors I've seen in the last four months won't treat me until I have one done for fear there is something serious lurking and treatments might complicate matters. So I don't have a choice. Well, I do have a choice, but fixing this colon is a priority right now.

My GI doctor assured me there was nothing seriously wrong with me. OK. So then WHY do I have to get this done? My naturopath said the GI doctor has no idea if there is something seriously wrong with me because she hasn't done the colonoscopy which is why she ordered it. Yes, GI doctor is a liar. What is new? It's really disconcerting to have doctors argue with each other through me.

And then there is the cost. Federal law claims with Obamacare we are allowed a free preventative, colorectal cancer screening via colonoscopy if we haven't been diagnosed with anything, but come to find out it's only free if they DO NOT find anything. If they find anything whether it's a polyp, mass or other growth, it becomes very costly. Or if it's diagnostic, then all freebies are in the toilet and it becomes twice as costly. One friend said hers was free regardless of the diagnostic purpose. So it seems every medical office, every insurance, every doctor, and every patient gets a different price and getting verifiable financial information is impossible until one makes and confirms an appointment. Mine will cost a base of $860.33 with the first polyp costing from 345.92 to 410.36 (depending on the technique used to remove it) and every polyp thereafter at half price. The required facility fee will be $570.35 for the first polyp and 285.17 for any others. Beyond that it will cost $90.00 per biopsy. GOOD GOD!

Of course, no one told me there is a choice of anesthesia vs. conscious sedation. When I called to get exact financial information the billing department told me the sedation is free, but the anesthesia is expensive. Needless to say, I called the scheduler back and selected the conscious sedation method. I was also hoping the drugs were less toxic.

And the bowel prep solution choices. One is called CoLyte (or GoLyte), mega doses (64 oz. per dose times two) of polyethylene glycol or Miralax on steroids. Since I started having problems with this laxative creating abdominal pain and burning (it causes peptic ulcers), I opted for the other. Suprep is sodium sulfate, potassium sulfate and magnesium sulfate, however, it involves drinking only 6 ounces of a horrible cherry-flavored solution mixed in 16 oz of water, washed down with two more 16 ounces of water. Online people with multiple colonoscopy experiences say Suprep is a much better experience.

But most insurance companies cover CoLyte ($29) and not Suprep which costs five times as much (about $125). One of the GI nurses offered to send me a coupon for a discount. I waited a week and it never arrived so I became proactive figuring nothing good would come from waiting for someone to do what they said they would, went into the office, and kindly demanded my coupon. I didn't get a coupon. Another nurse brought me out a FREE Suprep Bowel Prep Kit! WHOO HOO! I actually threw my arms around her for an impromptu hug. She recoiled as only a nurse would do. It pays to be proactive, but it's a lot of work to keep on top of people who don't give a shit about patients.

So, after waiting three months and not canceling which would have cost me a $200 cancellation fee, I started the low-fiber dietary prep. You can have cakes, croissants, ice cream, pudding, chocolate, and Jello, but you can't have vegetables or fruits. It's totally backward. I tried sticking to my diet, but definitely cheated with fruit juices, white rice, eggs, and sweet potatoes. The last two days were a liquid diet of juices and broths. Blah.

Suprep wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I'm not sure why all these drinks need to be flavored with toxic bad-tasting chemicals, but I drank it down with a straw and it was tolerable. At least it wasn't thick and chalky like the barium drink for the CT scan. After an hour of burping and feeling like an over-filled water balloon, it all started working. No cramping or pain. Every person reacts different to this solution: for some the diarrhea doesn't start for two or three hours, others it never starts. Some people have cramping and pain, others don't. I think since I'd been living off of laxatives for the last four months, my colon was used to working, but I was peeing every five minutes for about two hours.The second morning dose worked within fifteen minutes and it was just as if water was going through me. I was just thankful all those chemicals didn't kill me after glancing at the side effects packed in the kit. I avoided reading them. I didn't want to know.

The most stressful aspect of this colonoscopy preparation, other than pondering the fact you can die or be permanently maimed on the operating table is the driver requirement. One must have a driver. This was the reason I declined to have the colonoscopy done two years ago. Who? I don't have family and my friends aren't interested in taking a whole day off work to drive hours to my house, drive hours to the facility, sit for an hour or more, drive hours to get me home and drive hours to get home. I asked a few and they refused, but it was difficult to even ask or expect such an outrageous commitment. I checked various medical transport services but most required the passenger to be low-income, elderly, or disabled. I am none of those things so what does a relatively health-ish and young-ish person to do?

I found someone who was willing to drive me from her house, to the facility and back to her house on her day off, and then I would camp in my van in freezing weather outside her house. Not optimal. For this reason I had to choose a facility close to her house. There are none close to my house, but if there were that would not have been an option because of this transportation requirement. Everyone I know lives hours away from me. I had a feeling after being sedated and violated for an hour I would desire to go home and rest in my own bed, but what choice did I have?

I worried whether she would cancel on me at the last minute after reading about the experiences of others. No driver and I'd be denied check-in and have to pay that last minute cancellation fee. I had little confidence in her when she told me two days before the procedure about how she made another appointment during the time she should be driving me, "Is that OK?" HELL NO! WHAT THE FUCK?? was what I was thinking. I didn't scream at her. I was afraid if I started spewing stressful out-of-control exclamations she might cancel then what would I do? Finally she complied, "Oh! OK, I have it on my schedule now!"  NOW? NOW? I made this appointment three months ago, selected the day according to her requirements, and confirmed it with her at least three times since. Talk about adding to my already building stress level! According to online articles and comments, this no driver issue is a common problem for people who are single or new to an area.

My appointment was at 1:30pm. I got to town at 9:00am. Yeah, I probably didn't need to be there that early but I drove the van in order to stay the night. The van has 250,000 miles on it. I had phone numbers for taxi companies in case it broke down. I just felt safer knowing I was in the vicinity and I had some errands to run so plenty to do.

My friend didn't cancel and she showed up right on time. We checked in an hour before the procedure, still too early, but I didn't care as I feel less stressed when I'm early and can settle. I asked the receptionist about the sedation procedure as I was worried about the drugs and she confirmed, "Oh yes, you'll be administered Propofol." "What? Is that the conscious sedation method?" "Hmmm...ahh...no." She shuffled my chart papers, "Oh, you are doing conscious sedation so that will be Fenatyl." Right away I had no confidence in this hospital. I've learned the hard way no one is trustworthy in health care.

The waiting room stunk of something. I have no idea what it was. At one point I looked around for an air freshener. I saw multiple bottles of hand sanitizers all over the place. Was that what smelled? I excused myself I went out to the elevator area where there were more chairs by windows with a strong air ventilation exchange overhead. My friend read her book.

The nurse called me early. I figured this might happen which is another reason I wanted to go in early so I could get out of there early. I was starving. Her name was Cheryl. Big, blonde woman who cooed condescendingly talking to me like I was a five year old. That's fine, I thought, she's just trying to make me feel comfortable. She had me sit on the hospital bed and asked questions. I asked if I could go without the sedative and she lost the baby talk and acted offended, almost hostile, explaining how that would be unconventional and I NEED the sedative. I told her I'd rather go without if possible. She ignored my request. It was very frustrating. While going over the questions and paperwork she tried to tell me I was there because I had blood in my stool. NO, I am there because my colon isn't working. Do they know who I am? Does anyone ever listen?

She had me strip down and put on a hospital gown that was folded up near the pillow. She closed the curtains. When I picked up the hospital gown I noticed there was a large wet spot near the pillow and on the pillow. When I got the hospital gown on there was a small wet spot near my waist from where the gown was soaked. I didn't think anything of it. I asked to go to the bathroom one last time and when I got up to leave she noticed the wet spot, apologized, and started changing the pillow case. She didn't change the bedding.

When I returned she had me lay down on the bed to insert the IV and that's when I smelled the wet spot. Something strong, unfamiliar that tasted metallic in my mouth. I thought to myself it was probably some kind of drug or IV solution.

And then I started crying. It came on sudden. The nurse kept asking me what was wrong and truthfully, I had no idea. I told her it must be stress. I couldn't stop. The more she jabbed me with the IV needle, the harder I cried. Another nurse came in to confirm I was there because I had blood in my stool and I became almost belligerent, "NO, I  AM HERE BECAUSE MY COLON STOPPED WORKING FOUR MONTHS AGO!" My outburst shocked her and she excused herself to check with the doctor. She didn't realize how much control I still had. I kept crying.

The doctor sat next to me and asked what was wrong. I had no words. I had no idea. My cognitive function was gone. I felt confused. I finally said, "I really would rather not be sedated. I'd like to be cognitive enough to watch the monitor." She said I am getting "conscious sedation" so I will be able to watch the monitor. Great. She squeezed my arm reassuringly and left. I think they were as baffled as I was as to why I was crying. No other patient around me was crying, in fact most of them were laughing and joking with the nurses.

Another nurse came and gave me a very quick shot of Benadryl. I didn't even have time to argue, but I should have. They wheeled me into the surgical room. The doctor had me recite my name and birthday. I was baffled. Do they really not know who I am? I'm pretty sure she was testing to see how the Benadryl was working. Obviously I was way too coherent. They knocked me out totally with Fenatyl and Midazolam. I'm guessing I got double doses.

My beautiful butt...perfectly prepped,
no inflammation or infection, no wall thickening, no masses or growths
One polyp.

I woke up back in the pre-op room absolutely furious. I was out totally. No television viewing for me. Did they give me the bad drugs? Or just double dose me? Incredibly groggy, but feeling violated and betrayed. Thankfully the effects of sedation keeping me in control. I dressed and was escorted out to my friend who sat with me for the results and to be discharged. I glared at the doctor while she spoke. I think it was a good thing I was groggy or the skinny bitch would have got an earful. Or more.

I spent the night in the van, waking up constantly, enraged at everything that happened: the dismissive attitudes, the lies, feelings of betrayal. I was instructed not to drive for 24 hours but I kept sitting up to test how the drugs were affecting me. Every time my head spinned I laid back down. At five in the morning I felt fine, not great, but good enough to drive in the dark, in the pouring rain, on a winding country highway praying deer wouldn't jump out in front of me. Even when I'm fully cognitive I'm afraid to drive this highway at night in perfect weather. That's the advantage of drugs. I didn't care.

The whole next day I cycled bouncing from depressed and crying to screaming obscenities at the dishonest, betraying, insensitive doctor. This is what I call "rage cycling". In the world of bipolar illness it's called "ultradian cycling." I write about it in my post called "The Weirdness Awards: MCS Symptoms That Will Make Your Skin Crawl" you can read HERE.

I haven't had a chemical reaction like this since my Environmental Health Specialist shot me full of toxins for a very invasive allergy test sixteen years ago. I'm just not exposed to bad chemicals often. I know how to avoid them for the most part. I knew to stay in my house and ride it out. I knew to avoid the internet, the phone, and all contact with people. If you experience this side effect with strong chemicals, you know what a nightmare this is. My brain was exploding. Everything felt intensely wrong.

I read a book once on bipolar illness research and how substance abuse or other chemical exposures are part of every bipolar patient's history. I'm fairly convinced chemicals are the cause of bipolar illness but for the most part, this goes ignored. I cannot imagine living with this disease day in and day out, experiencing uncontrollable ultradian cycles continually. What a nightmare it must be! And with all the random acts of violence these days, how much of it is caused by chemical exposures?

So five days later with my brain back to normal, I went looking for the drugs that smell like metallic. Fentanyl doesn't have a smell. I couldn't find anything on the smell of Midazolam, but what I did find are some of the more unusual side effects usually experienced by children because they have been given too much. Susceptible populations like the elderly (or the chemically sensitive) are also at risk. Side effects include...wait for it...uncontrollable crying, agitation, confusion, aggression, paranoia, and violent tendencies. Patients have written of their experiences online describing screaming, combative behaviors, throwing things, pushing over carts, and ripping off their hospital gowns and attempting to run out of the hospital. I guess I was more in control than I thought! Other side effects include lingering dementia, headaches, and nausea, with some outcomes: death. Nice.

If they had allowed me to go without any sedative and if they hadn't soaked the bed, pillow, and gown with toxic chemicals that I was forced to smell for an hour, I probably would have had a relatively good experience. I didn't have any pain, no bleeding, no infection, no punctures, and I definitely didn't die. Is it any wonder people do die? And how many of them are chemically sensitive? Too bad these conventional doctors are so narrow-minded they don't understand chemical sensitivity and would rather adhere to their ignorance than make accommodations.

At one point the doctor said, "Well, this is only your first colonoscopy. The second will be much easier." Through my tears I said, "This is my LAST colonoscopy. I guarantee it."

Here's a really good video on what they do while they are digging around. I would have preferred having this guy as my doctor.

This video is what happens when you don't follow the prep directions. It's kind of funny although incredibly gross. I love the background music. Hilarious:

OMG! The Perfect Doctor!

Every month I announce to my friend, "I think I have found a doctor!!" And every month I retract my claim and say, "False alarm. Another orange cone."  Most of these doctors I never write about. Sometimes they are nice, but incredibly stupid. Others seem knowledgeable, but arrogant pigs. Some try to bully me into feeling guilty for declining to be an experimental subject for their thoughtless guesswork. Most if not nearly all, unfortunately, just can't fathom I am intolerant of all manner of everything and can't stop hawking their pills. Incessantly! I find this disrespectful. I hate it when they don't listen to me. It drives me nuts when they cop an attitude of condescension and then get irate toward me because I won't comply with their demands. I resent it when they think MY appointment, the time I am BUYING, is actually about them and their ego. In the last four months since my ER visit, I have seen seven doctors. All of them expensive; none of them helpful. This shouldn't be a surprise, but it is very discouraging.

Today I saw my eighth doctor. I actually found her about six months ago before this intestinal nightmare began, but I misunderstood her advertising. She's heavy on "appearance rejuvenation" which I found confusing so I hesitated. Is she a cosmetic surgeon? I wasn't sure. Her marketing seems focused on beauty and if my body is in pain I don't give a rat's ass about appearance. Some of her information states she is most definitely a former-conventional doctor with a very tiny indication she's a functional medicine practitioner. In my constant search for a doctor, her link jumped up once again and I took another look at her website.

She offered a FREE CONSULTATION. Not just a 10 minute meet-greet-and-quickly-street, but 45 MINUTES! Free 45 minutes. What? No way. What is the catch?? I emailed her office manager/receptionist expecting to not hear anything for a day or two and low and behold she responds within the hour. YES...it's free. And it's 45 minutes long!!! Really? Right up to the moment I'm in her office I didn't trust this, but YES, a free first appointment!

While I waited in the sitting room I perused her books and there on the shelf sat all the books of Amy Myers I just read. Wow. Talk about a universal convergence. She had some products on the shelf so I read labels searching for fillers and additives I cannot tolerate, preparing myself for the inevitable rebuttal when this doctor tries to shove the pills down my throat. I came to my freebie appointment armed and dangerous! (I really resent I feel defensive before I've even met a doctor!)

No shoving happened. She was calm almost not friendly, neutral, but not arrogant or unfriendly either. This kind of kept me in check as I'd been feeling pretty hostile toward doctors. She asked about my history, looked over my labs, and told me a little about her philosophy. She talked about genetic mutations and inability of some to tolerate much of anything. She recognizes the challenges involved in treating someone who is so sensitive to everything. As she looked over my labs and information she wasn't judgmental exclaiming horror and disbelief as so many doctors have done. She name-dropped people well-known in the Hashimoto's community. She emphasized her philosophy is DIET FIRST because if you don't fix what you are ingesting, nothing else matters. She talked about her career as a conventional medicine doctor and how disgusted she was with the arrogance of the profession and the model's inability to help patients. And last but not least she explained she does the free first appointments because she wants to make sure the prospective patient is willing to make lifestyle and dietary changes. If not, she doesn't see the point and it's a waste of time for everyone. She expects people to tweak their diet, give up their cigarettes, alcohol, and/or junk food and if they can't she will tell them this won't work for them. Well, I'm already there so it's all go for me. At one point I got tears in my eyes and exclaimed, "You are speaking my language!" I think this is the first time I cried tears of joy at a doctor's office instead of tears of frustration and anger.

I have lots of hope.

UPDATE: Her appointments are very expensive ($245.00 for 15 minutes) and she doesn't do insurance. She requires loads of unnecessary testing whether I have symptoms or not, whether I've had the test done or not. ("Oh, I would prefer using YOUR money and MY lab of preferences. They still showed negative.) At one point she said, "I won't address your weight problem, yet." (Thankfully she had priorities, for now. MY COLON DOESN'T WORK! I DON'T CARE IF I'M FAT! Yes, her health care model is all about appearance.) Last but not least, she has her DOG come to work with her!! In a medical office? That was the last straw for me....

Too many orange cones pretending to be doctors....

Orange Cone Alert!

Just when I thought it was safe to go back into the water...

There is a new internal medicine doctor in the neighboring village. I figured I'd give him a try and if I was very lucky, find myself a doctor closer than an hour and a half away. People gave him good informal reviews, but always prefaced it with, "He's very young." I took that to mean he was inexperienced...and young. I had hoped with fresh medical training he was at least knowledgeable.

The trend in my area is for clinics to screen prospective patients to judge in advance if they are worthy of health care. Yeah, this is just an indication of our very bad health care system. I'm pretty sure they do this to weed out all the opiate addicts, but don't drug addicts deserve health care, too? I find it offensive and insulting, but this is the new normal out in the Bush on the edge of civilization thanks to the drug addiction epidemic.

I actually attempted this process about a month ago at a clinic with a nest of new nurse-practitioners. As instructed, I ordered medical records from the fired-rehired-fired again idiot nurse practitioner. A month later she had still not sent my records. I decided I didn't need another useless nurse-practitioner in my life and gave up.

So this time I thought I'd be smarter about this and ordered records from another doctor, one who was more efficient and professional to expedite the process. I waited two weeks and never heard from the internist's office. I called. I had been approved! They just failed to inform me. Not a good sign. I made an appointment. That took a total of three weeks.

Dr. Orange Cone entered the room with a scowl on his face. He was young. Really young. And very hostile. He demanded to know why I was there. I proceeded to tell him of my hospital emergency visit. He listened impatiently, scowling the whole time, and avoiding eye contact. I noticed his fingers were neurotically tapping his leg. I wondered if he was a drug addict himself.

When we got around to discussing drugs, I tried to tell him of my intolerance and the debilitating side effects I get from most. He scoffed and sarcastically lectured me on how every one needs to take drugs. He demanded proof, "How do you KNOW? Where are your allergy tests?"  How many doctors throughout the years have dismissed my information and told me I was being ridiculous? He informed me I must take drugs anyway and suffer the misery. I was shocked to the point of amusement. I scoffed back at him. Maybe his scoffing was catching?

When he ordered labs I asked why he didn't order the thyroid antibody tests. He reprimanded with an impatient, sarcastic tone it doesn't matter if I have Hashimoto's or not, only if my thyroid is working. So. Incredibly. Ignorant. The appointment should have lasted about an hour, but after fifteen minutes he started excusing himself repeatedly,"If you don't have anymore questions...." He'd get up only to sit down again when I'd ask another question. At one point he got up and moved to sit across the room, avoiding eye contact, and tapping his fingers incessantly. His responses were flippant, rude, and sarcastic. It was like a teenage temper tantrum.

I left the appointment feeling violated and confused. Why would the boy-doctor, someone I had never met, be so rude and hostile to some he'd never met? Did the Orange Cone hate his job? Did moving to a small town from a big city suck the soul from his orange-cone-ish being? Was Orange Cone a drug addict? He couldn't stop jittering. Or was Orange Cone just an entitled, arrogant, disrespectful kid pretending to be an adult? Or maybe he doesn't like naturopaths?

OH MY GOD! I totally screwed up! The medical records I had sent were from a naturopath with information about my chemical sensitivity. I know better. One doesn't cross-contaminate between a holistic doctor and an AMA ignorant. Even though MCS now has a medical diagnostic code it still isn't accepted nor is modern medical training more open-minded about chemical sensitivity.

When I came to my senses and realized what I had done I reviewed the conversation in this new light. I recalled toward the end of the appointment he sarcastically and impatiently demanded to know if I had any other conditions not mentioned. I said, "Menopause, but there isn't anything to be done." Was he fishing for my admission of chemical sensitivity hoping to continue berating my health issues? I didn't say anything, but my records would have unknowingly divulged my secret. This is the state of medical care for the chemically sensitive. I have to pay for that useless appointment. What a waste of my time and money!

Orange Cone Procedures: See the danger. Go around. And keep going. I know I'm supposed to forgive and not be angry at this abuse of power and lack of health care, but that's not going to happen.

CT and MCS

Something is wrong with my colon. It stopped working on November 6th. I've had two different health care providers order a CT scan. This count does not include the monstrosity of a doctor at the hospital who said a CT scan would be the preferred diagnostic tool, but their machine wasn't in working order, of course. Instead, the Temple of Death and Doom did everything but the CT scan: x-ray, ultrasound and way too many blood labs. All showed nothing, of course. The CT is preferred because it is so precise taking minute slices of x-ray imagery details. It also uses an enormous amount of cancer-causing radiation, much more than any other x-ray procedure.

The formerly-fired-rehired-but-useless Nurse Lady ordered an abdominal scan without contrast. She believes my gall bladder is causing all the problems and needs to be surgically removed immediately. With little thought whatsoever, that was her diagnosis after five minutes. This may be right as something is causing my colon not to work, but she's proven to be untrustworthy in the past so I can't rely on her shoot-from-the-hip diagnosis. Besides no one is going to remove an organ from my body without a fight. However, if it is my colon and only the abdomen is scanned, will someone expect me to get another CT scan? One is enough.

The second doctor, a GI Specialist, ordered an abdominal-pelvis scan WITH oral contrast. She believes there might be an issue with my colon. Contrast is required for colon imagery because it moves around too much for a clear image. She's a very expensive specialist so I have to trust she might know more, but she also gives her children Miralax for their constipation so I don't have much faith in her since she obviously doesn't even know how to feed her kids.

POISON. Panic. There are two types of contrast: oral and IV with two main choices of contrasting ingredients: iodine and barium. None of that sounds healthy. The oral contrast is barium. That can't be good. I have to drink poison? I tried to tell the doctor and her nurse I don't do well with chemicals, but of course, this is a conventional medicine doctor and they just think I'm crazy. Chemicals don't cause problems! They disrespectfully dismissed my concerns with a wave of a hand and persisted in treating me like I'm stupid. I asked about ingredients because I know it's the fillers and additives that will make me miserable if the barium doesn't kill me first. The nurse condescendingly argued with me. When I didn't give up she sneered then searched online. Artificial flavor, benzoic acid, citric acid, natural flavor, potassium sorbate, purified water, saccharin sodium, simethicone emulsion, sodium benzoate, sodium citrate, sorbitol and xanthan gum.

XANTHAN GUM? Didn't I just write a post on the evilness of xanthan gum? This is the stuff they put in gluten-free baking that causes all kinds of intestinal problems including constipation, intestinal blockage, and abdominal pain. So what I have is going to be made worse? Great. Let's not forget about the exploding flatulence I experienced with the xanthan gum-laced gluten-free gingerbread cookies.

The nurse gave me two bottles flavored vanilla and banana. I'm clearly freaking out, but she ignores me. I start hyperventilating. I ask if there is another flavor besides banana as I know I can't get that down. She's treating me like I'm a pain in the ass, but she finds a berry-flavored container of poison. They are calling them "smoothies". That's not reassuring.

I'm in a panic. They refuse to give me any information on the side effects and I know from past experience if there is a side effect to be had, I will have it. When I get home I get online. Hives are the most common side effect followed by constipation, intestinal blockage, and abdominal pain probably due to the xanthan gum. This doesn't even make sense - why have me drink something that will make my symptoms worse? GirlAlive tells me she went into anaphylactic shock with her first and last contrast poisoning and there it is online...some experience anaphylactic reactions...and some die. If the patient has any allergies this is a red flag.

Oh. My. God. I am doomed. I will die and no one is listening to me! What really concerns me is I am to drink one of these bottles the night before. I live out in the middle of no where. What do I do if I have a reaction and can't get help fast enough?

I contact the two different radiology offices, both have my referrals. The one for the non-contrast referral located in a different city gives me all kinds of information. Benadryl is used for side effects and works well. They seem very knowledgeable and prepared, but they haven't bothered to get a pre-approval through my insurance. Am I approved or not? They cost $200 more than the other office and they are three hours away. Can I even get another referral through my new GI specialist for this office? I doubt it. And how long would I have to wait?

The other radiology office acts just like my doctor waving off my concerns as if I'm stupid and as if zero information alleviates my stress. They've never heard of anyone having a reaction. No side effects. It's right online you morons! Ignorance is an epidemic in a small town. I guess you get what you pay for. I also looked for another radiologist in every town within two hours of my location: nothing. I don't have much of a choice so I'm at the point where I guess I should just feel thankful I have any option. This radiology office is the only one within 150 miles of me.

Online I find a thread posted by a MCSer also concerned about her CT scan appointment. About ten people responded to her, all have had CT scans, sometimes multiple CT scans, and only one had minor side effects of hives. This was reassuring.

The "natural flavor" ingredient in the smoothies also gives me pause as well, but I was told by the flunky at the second radiology office this concoction IS gluten-free. Is she lying or stupid? According to a www.celiac.com thread based on information from the Readi-Cat company the vanilla flavor is NOT GLUTEN-FREE, but all other flavors are. It never ceases to amaze me how stupid medical people are and it's advised never to trust anything that comes out of their mouths.

SURRENDER. I made an appointment only because I've been dealing with abdominal pain for two years without anyone being able to tell me what it is and all my symptoms have escalated. Pain, desperation and fear makes one throw caution to the wind. (As I write this the pain in my side is flaring up...it will no longer let me ignore it.) I changed the appointment three times in three days because I can't decide if I should get it over with or wait giving myself time to reconsider as I get more and more stressed out with each passing day.

During third call I confess I'm scared shitless and the scheduler says, "Due to a number of people also worried about side-effects and living out in the middle of no where, we just recently changed our procedures. If you can come in 1 1/2 hour before your appointment, we will have you drink both bottles right here. That way we will monitor you and the hospital is right across the street if there is a problem." Maybe they killed a few people before getting a clue?? I'm not excited about the possibility of another expensive emergency visit to the hospital (what am I thinking?), but just slightly relieved it'll be just around the corner if it all goes wrong.

So...tomorrow morning bright and early against ALL common sense with every fiber in my body screaming at me not to do it, I will voluntarily poison myself and get radiated. The technicians are going to regret it once that xanthan gum kicks into action. LOL. If I don't live through it, this will be my last post. If I live through it, I will add an update here:

I SURVIVED! Good lord, I don't know if I've ever been so stressed in my life! I was awake most of the night practicing my confrontation so I would be assertive, not bitchy, for results rather than release. LOL.

I started driving at five am on an empty stomach arrived just before they opened or two hours before my scheduled procedure. I stopped along the way three times to go to the restroom. Nervousness is definitely a cure for constipation!

The receptionist was lovely, friendly, and accommodating. I asked right away, "I would really love to talk to someone to address my concerns. I came in and spoke to a woman last week, but received little information and the information I did receive was incorrect. This would help alleviate my stress." Nice, uh?

THE INQUISITION. She had one of the technicians talk with me. He proceeded to tell me like the others there were no side effects, oh, but if there are any, maybe some diarrhea, but rarely. Hmmm...the woman from last week told me there is no diarrhea as the contrast doesn't have a laxative effect. They still don't understand people with celiac disease will get diarrhea from drinking gluten-laced contrast.

He continued to babble about no side effects until I just got tired of it, interrupted him and listed all the side effects I read about online, told him about those side effects being the same symptoms I have now and how I have no desire to compound my misery. I told him about my friend and her anaphylactic experience. I wanted to scream DON'T TELL ME THERE ARE NO SIDE EFFECTS! but I was cool. I explained I just need to know someone here understands there are side effects and there are protocols in place. I've received little quality, consistent information which does not give me confidence. He seemed a little miffed that I knew this information, but he was doing his darnedest to remain professional. 

I also asked about alternatives and after pushing back with no, no, no, only then he started coughing up the alternatives: water-based iodine (no way) and finally just water! Yeah, you can do this test with just water, but you have to drink enough water to expand your colon enough to make it photogenic. Funny they always wait until they know you won't give up to give you reasonable alternatives. But...the results aren't as good. I actually had read about salt-water used for this very purpose, but he was unaware of this option.

I also asked him about the gluten-free flavors. He had no clue and became a little sarcastic thinking I was saying they all had gluten not understanding why I was willing to drink the berry flavor. Then I asked if I should have drank one container last night so it would be deposited in the far reaches of my colon, can I only drink one container right now since there isn't enough time for it to get through my colon anyway? He said no. This doesn't make sense to me, but I assume he's like a trained monkey just following protocol. He instructed me to drink what I could and the more the better.

My issue has always been I NEED this test and I don't want the doctor to say the imagery isn't clear enough and demand I have it redone. SO I traded the gluten-laced vanilla smoothie in for another berry smoothie and proceeded to guzzle both down...on an empty stomach. I didn't vomit as so many have. It wasn't as bad as I thought, but YES the colder it is the easier it goes down as I was able to compare the container I brought with me on ice and the replacement he gave me which wasn't as cold. After guzzling, I didn't feel good and walking made the gunk slosh around in my empty stomach making me feel worse, but it stayed down and I didn't erupt vomit in the waiting room. (Note: I don't vomit. Even if I stuck my whole arm down my throat, I wouldn't vomit. Rarely in my life have I up-chucked anything so if you vomit easily, it might not stay down. Be prepared.)

The receptionist gave me encouragement and asked about the contrast. I told her they aren't all gluten-free. She exclaimed, "Good to know!" It's an atrocity they don't know about the products they use when the information can be found through the company. They should know, but instead they give their patients false information which puts people at risk.

My personal technician was kind, friendly, and lovely. All that stress and worry for a whole week and the procedure didn't take more than ten minutes. Good lord.

Immediately after I drank apple juice, then water, then ate fruit, then more water, then a dose of Miralax just for good measure. I felt a little intestinal cramping all day long. Some nausea. The exploding flatulence started five hours later (in the privacy of my own home). Then came the headache from hell that lasted all night.

I read you'll know when the poison is out of your system when your poop stops coming out white. What? Eewwwy! I wasn't seeing white. Hmmm.... I kept thinking maybe the radioactive toxins got sucked into my body and adhered themselves to my fat cells? And then it happened...skip this next paragraph if you don't want to be grossed out as I'm sharing way too much!

THE DUMP, NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH TRUMP BUT VERY SIMILAR... The next day I expelled the biggest, fattest, dump of my life...only it was ALL WHITE. Pasty. Eeeww. It looked like some alien creature just extracted itself from my body. I stared in horror for a moment trying to see if it had an orange-tinted comb-over. Fearful it might jump out of the toilet and suck my face, I flushed fast and down the toilet it went taking the headache with it. I wish getting rid of Trump were that easy. All is good! Life is wonderful!

BOTTOM LINE. First, ask questions. Then, question the answers. The internet is wonderful for information on products, other people's experiences, and all manner of details so difficult to get from real people anymore. Knowledge is power. Knowledge is survival. I also think it's typical behavior for doctors not to tell you everything that can go wrong. I don't know how many times I've been the 1 in 12, 1 in 25, 1 in 100...and only informed of this after I've had a bad reaction. It's very difficult to trust a health care provider who doesn't recognize chemical sensitivity. These naysayers have no protocols in place for people who are chemically sensitive and no compassion either. I think I am lucky I survived the experience with so little side effects.