Skin Crawl - This is feeling like
there are thousands of nasty little bugs crawling under your skin. It usually
happens at night after a severe exposure during the day. I'm reduced to tears
with no way to alleviate the discomfort. It's torture. One day I had a meeting
with a real estate agent, and of course, I gave him the MCS "rules"
so he was well aware of my chemical sensitivity issues and his need to be
fragrance-free. During a house visit, out of the blue, he asked, "So, do
you like the kitchen...Oh, hey, do you experience the 'skin crawl'?" WHOA!
WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT? It seems his friend's wife is also chemically
sensitive. Oddly enough, we named it the same thing!
Brain Bubbles - It feels like large,
thick bubbles are popping in slow motion in your brain. I remember wondering,
"Are my brain cells dying from these poisons?" Again, after a severe
exposure.
Hearing Sensitivity - Loud noises drive me
nuts. Fourth of July fireworks are my personal hell. Also, repetitive
noises: telephone ringing, dog barking, honking car horns, beeps, vocals.
Again, I thought I was just a weirdo until a doctor asked me point blank,
"Do you have any kind of hearing sensitivity, for instance, repetitive noises?" My
mouth dropped open in shock. Wow! Really? I also read people with higher IQs
are more sensitive to repetitive noise. This is comforting...in an odd way.
Equilibrium Issues - If I turn my head
slighting to the left or right, my whole world spins. If walking while this happens, I'm sure I'd be
danger to others or accused of being extremely inebriated, but it is most often
experienced while I'm sitting. Again, only after a severe exposure.
Rembrandt
Peale was a famous painter in the 1700s along with his brothers Raphael,
Rubens, Titian, and James, and his father Charles Willson Peale, who started
one of the first natural museums in the country. Many art critics believe
Rembrandt was the best artist of the Peale family in terms of technical
expertise and would have been more productive and popular if he wasn't drunk
and sick all the time as noted in journals, letters, and newspaper articles of
the time. He was an embarrassment to his
family. Now art historians believe he was chemically sensitive as there are no
accounts of anyone ever seeing him drink, only what they thought was drunken
behavior. How could anyone in the 1700s know paints and preservatives could
affect a person's brain function and equilibrium? Back then paint was often lead-based and formaldehyde,
mercury, arsenic and ether were commonly used in natural museums without any
kind of respiratory or skin protection. It makes me feel sad he was so misunderstood and misrepresented.
(I always wonder if James felt slighted for not being named after a famous
painter???)
Height Sensitivity - This isn't a fear of
heights, but I do wonder if it's related. I have climbed mountains, hiked
cliffs, worked on the top floors of skyscrapers, and walked across scanty, little
rope bridges 300 feet off the ground. In
fact, I can still climb a ladder and dance on top of my house roof without
flinching. When I was really sick with
chemical exposure, driving over tall bridges or along roads with drop offs sent
me into a panic. I'd start sweating, gripping the wheel, and hyperventilating. The
first time this happened I was dumb-founded.
I'm assuming it is related to the equilibrium issue and the movement of
the car with the visual of height accentuates the side effect . I've talked to
other people who are chemically sensitive and/or have fibromyalgia and they
have experienced the same thing, also with no past fear of heights.
Ultradian Cycling - I used to call this
"rage cycles" until I read a book on Bipolar Illness. I've
only had this happen twice so far in ten years: once, although slightly, after
a bad exposure and a second time as a reaction to invasive allergy testing. I
was being tested for perfumes and phenols and in the middle of it, for no
discernable reason, I started crying. Then all hell broke loose. By the time I got
in my car I was crying for five minutes, screaming for five minutes, in utter
despair for five minutes, rage for five minutes .... This continued for four days with more time
between the cycles with each passing day.
I couldn't control it and my only solution was to seclude myself in my
home until it wore off. I have the utmost sympathy for anyone with Bipolar
Illness who experiences this regularly. Scary.
Years
ago in a MCS newsletter I came across a plea from an attorney who was trying to
defend her chemically sensitive client who went into a rage at a post office.
They wanted anyone who had experienced rage as a symptom to come forward as a
witness. I wrote a letter, and unfortunately, it didn't help her case. The woman
went to prison for twenty years as her rage was interpreted as a threat on a
government institution.
Since
my lifestyle reinvention and self-seclusion, I am rarely severely exposed to
poisons. It's been a long time since I've experienced these kinds of weirdnesses. For that I am truly grateful.
So
who can beat that? What symptoms make you feel like you are the only weirdo on
earth?
