2025: REVIEW & RESOLUTION

 2025 was weird and wild!

GOOD...MAYBE EVEN GREAT

The Great Adventure: What an adventure! I saw places I always wanted to see! Alaska! The West! East Coast! New England! Midwest! Canada! 50,000 miles, twenty-five states and five Canadian provinces in a year! I look back on this experience and think, WHAT THE HELL??? Did I really do that? It demanded self-sufficiency, resilience, resourcefulness and a whole lot of patience. I survived the good, the mediocre, the boring, the frightening, the terrifying, the amazing, the best of times and the worst of times. The most memorable, positive experiences: 1) Walking past Brad Pitt on the streets of Bozeman 2) The Bright Blue Ferrari covered in mud on the AlCan Highway driven by the most gorgeous man I'd ever seen in my life, 3) Three bears trying to break into my van in Idaho, 4) The Lost River Gorge and Boulder Caves, 5) Campfires and River Dipping in Montana. Wow!

Big Blue : I finally found a van! She never broke down once. Kept going on the worst of roads. Rescued me from sand, mud, monsoons, thunderstorms, lightning, bad drivers...and she just kept going. Many times I slapped my palm on the dash and screamed, "Excellent job, Big Blue! You did it again!" What would I have done if I never found her? In what toxic apartment would I have been forced to live? How much in rent, utilities and general expenses would I have been forced to pay? Maybe I would have ended up in a tent on a sidewalk? She affords me freedom and adventure, most importantly, a safe place to live.

Friends: I really appreciate the good people in my life and the fact they continue to keep in touch even as I gallavant all over North America. They don't realize how much their constant communication helped when I fractured my ankle. I struggled with overwhelming fear, depression, and anxiety and I felt so utterly alone in the world when it seemed like everything was crashing down around me. They kept emailing, asking how I was or where I was which kept my spirits from sinking.

Strangers: I am still so grateful for the strangers who helped me when I fractured my ankle. They could have walked away and left me at anytime. Instead, one offered to take my van to a safe place, another picked me up from the hospital, found free crutches online, and cared for me for a week. As I painstakingly made my way back to the states driving with my left foot and unable to walk, a few strangers volunteered to pump my gas for me since I couldn't get out of the van. One woman in Colorado volunteered to shop for me (the electric cart wasn't charged)! The Park and Ride guys at the hospital were kind and helpful as I convalesced in a hospital parking lot. I don't know what I would have done without the kindness of strangers.

NOT QUITE SURE WHERE IT GOES

Tucson: I've had some bad experiences in Tucson that haunt me. The city is filled with psychopaths who still give me nightmares. However, when I rolled back into the city after my travels, I felt like I was coming home. The desert smelled glorious, the sun was shining, and the mountains glistened gold. Still, too much traffic and too many assholes in one place. Time will tell.

Pen Pals: Hmmm...I started out with eighteen pen pals. Some naturally fell by the wayside; others switched to email long before it was necessary. However, when I hit the road and became unable to get mail, many of my pen pals opted not to email. In many ways I don't blame them. There is a difference between getting a real letter and getting an email. I did discover pen pals are not friends. What I thought was friendship through months if not years of written confessions was too easy to throw away. I enjoyed decorating envelopes and stationery, but now that I have zero motivation toward creativity and NO art supplies, I've lost interest in pen palling. I now have one pen pal and she keeps sending me scented letters so that's going to end!

BAD AND UGLY

The Great Adventure: Good god, the stress and worry nearly killed me. The expense! I was paying at least $1,000 in gas a month! One month I paid $6,000 in van repairs and maintenance. Contrary to popular opinion, living in a van is not cheap and for me, rarely relaxing. The worst experiences: 1) slipping in beach mud and fracturing my ankle, 2) stuck in deep mud in Flagstaff for five hours trying to dig my way out while wearing a cast that I wasn't supposed to get dirty or wet (mud is a constant theme and will be the death of me!), 3) scary, beer-guzzling, asshole mansplainer in Idaho, 4) thunderstorms like waterfalls and ceiling leaks, 5) driving on an almost flat tire through Canadian mountains with a drop-off cliff praying the tire would not blow out before I got to the dealership, 6) driving straight up then down a very narrow, icy mountain pass in a blizzard 6) not being able to find healthy food and driving for hours and hours in search of food, 7) scary overnights, 8) freezing overnights, 9) hot and humid overnights.

Van Life: Living in a van is fun if everything is perfect, but it rarely is. When the temperatures are reaching in the 90s to 100s, it's not fun. When the humidity is high , it's not fun. When temperatures are below 50s, it's not fun. Almost running out of gas because there are no gas stations, not fun. If the thunderstorms are so violent one has to pull off the freeway, it's not fun. Being stuck in the mud for five hours, definitely not fun. When there is a dead rat in my walls and the stink is unbearable, it's not fun. If the van isn't running well, it's so damn stressful it's not fun. Mosquitoes buzzing in my ear at night makes me insane and is not fun. Peeing in a bucket is not fun. Missing the bucket, not fun. No showers or bathing for over two months, not fun. 

Ankle Fracture: I'd never broken anything in my life. This was traumatic. More importantly, being alone in a foreign country, living in a van, unable to walk or fend for myself, and finding out insurance doesn't cover the emergency room was a nightmare. The vulnerability was frightening. The impending medical bills were stressful (but ended up not being that bad, it was worrying about the unknown that was the worst). Health care is bad even on a good day.

People: I hate people. I hate liars. I hate rude, disrespectful people. I hate manipulative, controlling men. I hate sociopathic women. I hate thoughtless people who stink. I hate bullies. I hate people who disappointment me and they always do...I've encountered all these types and more in the last year.

The PURGE: Swedish Death Cleaning is traumatic! Getting rid of childhood memorabilia, sentimental objects I've had all my life, art work I loved, clothes I've loved, antiques that were in my family for generations, the cutest car in the universe, an incredibly expensive organic wool comforter that I have exclaimed was the best purchase of my life.... The last two years I emptied a four-bedroom  two-story house full of STUFF and then this year I downsized a10x10 then a 5x5 storage unit. Some items I was able to sell, but much of it at the end was either donated or thrown away. I often see things in stores that are objects I either used to have or similiar and it makes me very depressed. I think of things I could have kept and I'm wondering where was my brain? Why didn't I keep it? Damn. Now that I'm considering finding a new home, the thought of all the money I'll have to spend to replace needed objects is daunting. But I did it. I feel cleaner not having all that STUFF cluttering my life and van.

Real Estate Shopping: This relates to the above "People". Real estate agents and sellers are so dishonest, unethical and sleazy. They lie their asses off so desperate to get a sale. It's hard to trust anyone and I don't want to buy something toxic that I'm stuck with for years and not able to sell if need be. I hate it. I've been ready to give up a few times.

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION: FIND A BASE, a new home, property, something so van life can be a luxury not a requirement. PLEASE!!! 

New Year's Eve I BURNED away 2025 and then watched it smolder. I felt incredibly relaxed. Well, I did fall into the fire once...symbolic of 2025, I guess! I love campfires!!!

2023: Review and Resolution

 

There is so much to be said about 2023! Let's get started:

EXCELLENT STUFF:

ART FESTIVALS, MARKETS, AND OTHER SUMMER EVENTS:  I've written a whole post on this called "The Escape Plan". It was wonderful, fun, exhausting, lucrative and kept me busy all summer. I got rid of a lot of art and made way more money than I could have imagined.

EBAY: I also wrote about eBay on the "The Escape Plan" post. If you need to get rid of "stuff", eBay is the place to go! It's a very steep learning curve, but once you survive it, it's very easy. If you enjoy thrifting, using this venue to resell can make you a lot of money.

ART: Doing art has always been life-affirming. It's great entertainment. I spent all year decorating envelopes, painting rocks, painting canvases, painting watercolors, painting frames, and painting signs. I had two commissions this year: one an acrylic canvas and the second a watercolor wedding portrait. Currently I'm painting sand dollars!

PEN PALLING: I have a great group of pen pals. It's been fun decorating envelopes for them. I appreciate their friendship and conversation.

FRAGRANCE FREE PEOPLE: I appreciate anyone I come into contact with who doesn't stink.

HEALTH CARE: For most of the year I avoided doctors and that always serves me well. At the end of the year I found a new health care practitioner. She seems wonderful, new, eager, open-minded. However, I've only had one appointment and I know they usually fail by the third appointment. For now this is a win and I'm hopeful.

FREE STUFF: I'm still getting free stuff at the local Christian thrift store, just not as much as they've cracked down. They are now taking time to clean and fix things rather than throw them in the free pile. Darn it all. Still, I've gleaned some excellent things throughout the year and years before. Christmas cards, for one.

CHRISTMAS CARDS: The free store is always putting Christmas cards in the free pile. Prior to Christmas I had about 300. This year I gather them up and sent them to three different senior care centers! I figured there are lots of people in these assisted living places who don't have family or friends and might like a cheerful Christmas card. It makes me feel good to imagine they might be giving someone Christmas joy.

HO HUM, IN THE MIDDLE, NOT GOOD/NOT BAD OR BOTH STUFF:

POST OFFICE: Selling on eBay and pen palling means I am subjected to the postal abuse too often. A lot of the time the postal workers are wonderful and helpful. Other times my letters never arrive and no one seems to know what has happened to them. Really? Tracking is useless. If the package or item disappears, even enroute, there doesn't seem to be anything they can do! It's just gone! Very irritating.

HEALTH DIAGNOSIS: I was finally diagnosed with Mast Cell Activation Syndrome. This isn't a surprise as MCAS has been linked to both MCS and Hashimoto's along with allergies and food sensitivities. It all goes together, unfortunately. It seems to be the answer to all my symptoms that every doctor in the last twenty years didn't seem to understand or had no answers. Ah ha! This should probably go under "Bad Stuff", but it's is good to finally have a diagnosis so I know what it is, but it sucks to have it. I've started a low-histamine diet and attempting a very expensive prescription. We'll see. 

NEW HOME SEARCH: What a hassle, but hopeful!

BAD STUFF:

VEHICLES: Oh the horror! Trying to buy a vehicle when one is chemically sensitive is a nightmare. I did find a non-smelly salesperson who I really like. He seems to have a keen sense of smell until he desperately wants to sell me a car that has already been detailed with stink then all of a sudden he claims he's had a cold so forgive his zero sense of smell. Totally untrustworthy for a buck. On top of that, used vans are rare...there are few and far between. If I want to order a new van (which I don't), I'd have to order it and it takes a year to get! Wow! On top of THAT (!) my old van is now so old it's leaking! What a hassle. My old van has been the best vehicle I've ever owned, but I waited too long to sell it. On top of THAT (!!), my adorable Scion IQ is so old and the model is no longer made so finding parts is a challenge. Damn. She may need to be sold as well.

DEATH: Old friends are dying! I tend to stalk my old friends as a way to catch up and stay in the loop. One hadn't posted anything for a while which is very odd. She died! So discombobulating. I went to tell another mutual friend we had and she has just been diagnosed with cancer and has been given two months to live. It's freaking me out. It's making me sell stuff and clean out my house much faster!

2024 NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS: Stay alive...MOVE! It's going to be a great year!

2022: Review and Resolution

 

GREAT THINGS:

MONEY: Work was steady and outstanding, but more importantly, better clients and better projects. Free money was even better. A friend of mine recently said, "Money DOES buy happiness!" I agree. With money, a lot of stress goes away. Security is priceless.

TECHNOLOGY: At the end of last year, I had the worst computer purchase possible with a HP desktop with AMD graphics. It was incompatible with everything. What a nightmare! I received no help from the store, returned it, bought another thinking it was that computer, bought new accessories and nothing would work. By January 1st returned the whole set up and desperately hoped a different computer with Intel graphics would be better. Such a difference! New computers (that work) are always wonderful and once I found a brand that wasn't substandard, it was spectacular. New, high tech printer is sensational. I love upgrading when everything works so quickly and efficiently.

FREEBIES: I love freebies and I'm so thankful for the exceptional free junk I have gathered from the Free Store which allowed me to save money. This also provides an enormous amount of entertainment especially now when entertainment during a pandemic is so limited.

SURVIVAL: I have managed so far to survive the pandemic and avoided getting any toxic vaccines or boosters.

PEN PALLING: I rediscovered pen palling! I'm writing letters to women all over the United States, Canada, and Europe. It's much different than it was when I was young with sticker swaps and decorated envelopes and stationery. It's great entertainment for someone who is socially-impaired and secluded. It's not without its dangers. The other day a very generous pen pal sent me a whole envelope of scented stuff. I'm sure she didn't even realize it! It's a risk. Here are some of my wacky envelopes:

 

BAD THINGS:

HEALTH CARE: As usual I wasted a whole lot of money, encountered too many incompetent doctors, and got nothing in return for my torture and frustration. No answers, no remedies, no solutions.

HEALTH INSURANCE: I've never paid so much money for insurance in my life, but in my rural area, our options are limited. The insurance company fails miserably at customer service and can never tell you what is covered and not.  It's a ridiculous system that victimizes the vulnerable, but without options there is really nothing anyone can do.

AGING: I hate getting old with my body and brain not functioning like it used to. Unfortunately, there is no way of getting around it.

PEOPLE: Stinky people, horrible neighbors, the liars, the stupid, the lazy, the irritating, the obnoxious, and the disappointing especially during a pandemic that is clearly not over but these assholes are pretending it is which puts my life in danger.

PANDEMIC: I've actually really loved the pandemic with the forced isolation, masking so I don't have to smell toxins, and free money. I have refused to be vaccinated due to immune issues and chemical poisoning. Several of my friends claim the vaccines have created health concerns. However, with the self-centered pretending it's over when it's not, it puts the vulnerable at risk so I'm constantly taking precautions. And the discrimination as if those of us who aren't vaccinated are going to compromise the health of others. Assholes. Then there is the crazy inflation with prices astronomically increasing. The other day my store had lettuce for $6.00 a head and cauliflower at $7.00 a pound! At this rate, we are all going to have to give up eating!

SUMMARY: It's been a pretty good year. Money rights a whole lot of wrongs!

2023 NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS: AVOID DOCTORS, KEEP SURVIVING, PLAN ESCAPE, WALK DAILY, BE PATIENT, BE KIND

2021: Review and Resolution

This year went really fast! Or maybe my failing memory just makes it seem so?

THE GOOD STUFF:

MONEY. I love money. I'm thankful for my job. I would like more money. I like free money. I'm an investor!

PANDEMIC PAINTING. It was so fun to brighten my house up with cheerful colors and patterns!

OUTSIDE BEAUTIFICATION: I started with the driveway. Pressure washing was hellish work. Then I patched all the spaces and cracks in hopes the weeds can't wiggle their way through forcing me to weed this driveway several times a year. It's old, but now so pretty and clean. This has made me a fanatic about my driveway. I don't like leaves falling on it!!

I got some FREE! pavers and put them all over the back area so I can avoid having to replace the gravel. I'm hoping it keeps the weeds down and saves me some work.

FRAGRANCE FREE FRIENDS. I am so thankful for friends who are willing to be fragrance free...and who put up with my weirdness caused by chemical poisoning. I'm sorry if I'm irritable and moody, opinionated and bitchy. Maybe that has less to do with MCS and it's just me, but they put up with it anyway.

COLON. I'm afraid to even say anything here. If you've read my other posts on my colon failing to work, you know what I've been through. And if you've read my Hashimoto's Thyroiditis posts you know about my thyroid issues. I finally found a doctor who would prescribe me a very unconventional compounded prescription for thyroid. After six weeks of drug experimentation, my colon started working! It's been working for the last month, but there are times it seems as if it doesn't want to. Again, I'm hesitant to be happy about this because I don't know how long all this good fortune will last.

LIFE! I'm still alive! The coronavirus and all it's variants hasn't killed me. I haven't even been infected a second time! I managed to avoid getting a vaccination even with all the bullying I received from doctors and strangers. I almost caved, but after reading the side effects and talking with a friend who said, "I have enough health problems, I don't need to give myself more on purpose!" I backed away slowly and decided to chance it. I'm pretty isolated. No one has come to my house for a long time. I don't go out much other than for groceries or supplies and I always wear a mask.

THE MIDDLE STUFF:

RECONNECTIONS. I get really excited when I reconnect with someone I haven't seen for a whole lifetime. Especially if it's a surprise and they contact me out of the blue. We catch up and then it's over. That's a bit disappointing. The last reconnection I contacted someone through Facebook, an old friend I hadn't seen for decades. She took months to respond. She seemed really excited, but she wanted to reconnect via Zoom ONLY. I didn't/don't have Zoom capabilities. Her response, let me know when you get it! She just wasn't interested in writing even a little. It was weird.

COMPUTER. I bought a new computer. My old one was on the blitz. This one is nice and fast. Then my monitor started blacking out. No one could tell me why. The store told me to exchange the computer so I had to get a new computer and re-set it up again. UGH. I spent hours and hours online trying to figure out why the blackouts were happening. Yesterday I spent three hours with yet another computer tech. It's guesswork ... nobody seems to know anything but everyone wants to charge me for their ignorance. So frustrating. New computers are supposed to be wonderful and perfect, not tormenting!

PANDEMIC. It hasn't been that bad. Not so different from MCS seclusion. Then came the inflation. I used to buy this loaf of gluten-free bread for $3.25. It went up to $5.99!!! That is one example and it's shocking to me. Cost of housing has skyrocketed. Prices for houses have tripled. Of course, that is kind of good since now I can sell my house for three times the amount I paid and it will sell in less than a week! These damn masks are driving me nuts, BUT they keep us safe from germs and a lot of stink. Then there is the constant fear-provoking media on how the next variant is coming our way and WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE! Like everyone else, so tired of it.

THE BAD STUFF:

HEALTH CARE. Ugh. I hate doctors. You probably already know that as I complain all the time. Useless waste of money. My current conventional doctor refuses to listen to me, hasn't even diagnosed me correctly, refuses to prescribe thyroid meds I need. He thinks Miralax is wonderful and nontoxic, but my blood labs showing kidney damage say otherwise. So I get a new doctor, a naturopath. She's willing to give me the prescription, but she knows so little it's such a waste of money to have to do all the work for her. 

INSURANCE. My health insurance company keeps screwing up my claims. My insurance company's new rates have increased to over $3000 a year!! So I cancelled it! I have no insurance. Old people insurance should kick in sometime next year, but for that we are forced to pay through the nose. There is no solution to this very bad health care system. It's in crisis mode. And then there is auto insurance...It has also increased! I was finally told by an insurance agent our state insurance commissioner ruled insurance companies can no longer discriminate against those with bad credit ratings so in retaliation, they raised everyone's rates! Incredible.

NEIGHBORS. Good god they torment me! Entitled, rude, self-centered, thoughtless, perfumed, bad dog owners who persist in making my life stressful. I worry I'll never get the chance to move. I don't even know where I'd move since real estate is now so overpriced and the pandemic rages on.

AGING. This sucks so much. First, the above insurance horror. Once you get to be a certain age you are forced into expensive insurance by the government. What an atrocity for people who are on fixed incomes! Also I'm having the weirdest memory problems. I'm forgetting simple stuff. It's just not there. It comes back in a few minutes, but until then I'm blank. This can't be good. Aging is scaring the hell out of me. Maybe I'm worrying too much about nothing, or maybe I'll die next week. 

HMMMM: Not a bad year. Kind of normal and average. Typical bad stuff I've been dealing with for a long time. Good stuff is just run of the mill. Nothing spectacular. 

New Year's Resolution: Survive, thrive, keep going. 

2020: Review and Resolution

 OMG! Where does one even start with the year 2020? 

THE GOOD STUFF:

BYE-DON! Dump lost; Biden won. I can't even explain what a relief this is. And we have a woman vice president. It's about time.  I can now go back to not stressing about politics and feel confident that adults will be back in charge very soon!

FREEBIES. I wrote a recent post on my hoarding. It's such a joy and practically the only public entertainment I have lately. Most recently I acquired a blender. It was ugly, formerly white, covered in old black and brown dried food. Nasty. Scary nasty. I brought it home and plugged it into an outlet outside. That's how scared I was! It worked. I kept my mask on, wore gloves, carefully carried it to the kitchen sink and with all kinds of tools (tweezers, Q-tips, scrubber pads, soap, rubbing alcohol...) worked on it for two hours. It now looks like new. SCORE! Love it. I wish I would have taken a "before" photo, but I was afraid of contamination!

FORCED SECLUSION. I love it! I love it that we are expected to stay in our houses and people aren't wandering around wearing their stink and poisoning everyone as much as they used to. I love there isn't as much air pollution. I love it the animals want to come out in the open since humans have disappeared. I love I no longer feel like a weirdo secluded in my house when everyone else is free and bragging about how free they are all the time. I love the camaraderie of everyone's misery.

EMPLOYMENT. I'm still employed. In the spring when this pandemic started a lot of people didn't know what to do and many were told to go home and isolate which shut down a lot of businesses. This caused me to be on a lengthy staycation since no one was hiring me never mind I work from home and could very easily have kept working. Thankfully the people I work for figured it out, learned to work from home, and never went back to the office! Work is slow and I've lost money, but so thankful I'm still employed when some people aren't and have run out of options.

PAINTING. Or pandemic peace of mind. Or happiness. Or sanity. I've painted rocks, lamps, floors, rooms, bulletin boards, paintings, tables, switch plates...if it has a surface, it's calling for some paint on it.

CONSTRUCTION PROJECTS. I got a lot done this year: fixed my fence, replaced deck boards, and stripped and refinished my living room floor. At times finding supplies was a challenge with manufacturing slowing during the pandemic and finding the energy or know-how to do the work, but I persevered and got things done! The living room remodel inspired me to clean other rooms, reorganize shelves and closets and do a basic make-over. Then I painted my office. Next maybe the kitchen. One room at a time....

I seriously love this room now!

GARDENING. I downsized and cleaned the whole garden and added bark to the walks. Beautiful. It makes me feel happy and content, first, because it's nice to look at and second because there is so much less work now.

 

CHRISTMAS CARDS. Last year a friend sent me a recycled Christmas card she made. OMG! What a brilliant idea!  I love finding new art projects and I went a little crazy. I send maybe ten cards to friends and a few to my favorite businesses...sometimes...when I'm motivated, but I made about forty cards most of them snarky since that's the kind of Christmas card I like and can never find. Many were political since this is an election year. I ended up participating in an online art show, although that wasn't a great experience, it was still time-consuming and a distraction from the world around me while it gave me a voice to rant my complaints about society.

GLASS MOSAICS. I was determined to use up my supply of glass and the last of my large frames so I could STOP doing glass mosaics. Although I do enjoy it, it's a very expensive art form and dangerous. I got tired of my hands cut up and infected. I felt very productive and proud to accomplish so many with so little supplies!

Immersion

Life is Not the Beach

Male Privilege

Season's of Love: The Fall

TILE MOSAICS. I have been collecting free, brightly colored plates all year. I wasn't really sure why. I loved the colors, but had no idea what I would do with them. Then all of a sudden I was compelled to take a hammer and break them! Doing glass mosaics made me curious about tile mosaics, or, in this case, creating decorative frames from broken dishes. This is free glass so cuts down on cost and the edges are not so sharp so less dangerous. Pulverizing dishes with a hammer is exceptional for stress relief. I also needed some new, different and colorful wall hangings for my newly painted and colorful rooms. I was tired of painting. Not sure if I'm excited about this new media yet, but it was experimentally fun.

NEW STOVE! I waited fifteen years to get rid of the mismatched, rat-infested stove/oven that came with the house when I bought it. It lasted a good amount of time before it started having problems...during a pandemic. I waited for the universe to send me a free one, and I actually was offered a free, used one but it was too old and I didn't feel comfortable. I was told the old ones are energy suckers, and, of course, if it dies having it hauled away would cost. Many of the big-box hardware stores' products were back ordered to next summer, but I found this outstanding small, mom-and-pop appliance store that had exactly what I wanted. The customer service was outstanding, the FREE delivery was outstanding, and the FREE haul-away-the junk was outstanding. What an outstanding experience. So rare these days! Merry Christmas to me!

FRAGRANCE-FREE FRIENDS: I am so thankful for my friends. One drove hours to deliver food to me when I was sick. Another drove hours to visit. Another bought art from me which helped my finances. I so appreciate their online conversations, support, and constant advice when I am in need. Thank you!

LIFE!!!!!!!! I AM ALIVE!

THE IN BETWEEN STUFF:

CONSTRUCTION WORKERS. I started running out of time and energy and hired two sleazy, lying workers to help remove and replace fence posts. What a waste of money! I know better, but I was worried I wasn't going to get it done and the fallen down fence repair was a priority. They did save me a lot of time and effort, but the expense was outrageous. Such a waste of money.

THE BAD STUFF:

THE PANDEMIC. Duh. It goes without saying. It's affected everyone on the planet and most would say this is the worst year in their lives. Even if we haven't experienced death or near-death illness first-hand, we are surrounded by it. The stress has infiltrated every facet of our existence. People are on edge either fighting to stay safe or fighting for their perceived personal rights. We are at each other's throats. We are inconvenienced in every way. Our health is constantly on the line as access to medical care is limited since all resources have gone to fighting this pandemic. Grocery shopping is a pain in the ass. Supplies are inaccessible. Going out in public is risky. Lack of income is affecting our ability to pay bills. This is all common knowledge by now. I had the coronavirus in the spring and continue to experience side effects that may or may not be serious, but thankful to be alive. My income suffered, but not nearly as much as others who have lost their jobs and/or homes. I'm so tired of the whiners complaining about how many parties and family functions they can't attend or how bored and lonely they are as if they aren't complaining about my normal chemically sensitive lifestyle. (Damn, I miss concerts!)

COVIDIOTS. For instance, my neighbors who send their grandkids to play outside my house during a pandemic. REALLY? A friend of mine went to a big family wedding and then had a big family Christmas gathering. People are tired and have stopped caring which also makes them apathetic to everyone around them. We live in a very self-serving world. I could list a million examples of the stupid, but more than likely you've seen them in the news or in your own neighborhoods.

DUMP. That incompetent, foolish, fake president needs to go away and his silly, unprofessional, immature, sociopathic antics need to go with him. Take all the white supremacists and treasonous GOP, too. His entitled family and rich cronies need to vanish. May they all disappear. I'm so tired of looking at his face or seeing constant complaints about him. Really tired of his ignorant, racist followers.

THE WAR. Yellow jackets, mice, rats, ants. Good lord. It's never-ending!

So...the year has sucked, BUT honestly, I look at this list and it's been a really good year for me!

New Year's Resolution....Simple....Just survive.

2019: Review and Resolution

Oh, another year flying by. Again. It seems like just yesterday I was writing the post for last year!

GOOD THINGS:

Rock Painting - I discovered rock painting last spring at a special event at my local library. Why haven't I ever thought of painting on a rock? I paint everything else!  Most rock painters are amateurs so I fit right in. We paint, hide, find, share. I visit parks and places I've never seen in hopes of discovering hidden rocks.  I even enjoy searching for the perfect unpainted rock which now gives ocean visits a whole new meaning.  I started my own community trading post, but it was quickly discouraged by all the raiding and thefts. People are horrible.

Nearly every community has their own rock painting group and by joining them online I have gained a whole population of new friends. Some of the groups are very friendly, kind and welcoming; Others not so much which I find a little strange since these rocks are called "kindness rocks". Most of the groups are very rule-oriented and censorship runs rampant. This is good to keep the peace, but art censorship has always been a thorn in my side. However, there are the subversive groups for bad behaving rocks where anything goes: paintings of giant penises, naked women in precarious poses, cartoons with ample bosoms, Snow White smoking her bong, lots of pot references, Santa holding a machine gun, devils and demons, satanic worship, and politics. LOL! I was drawn to this group because other groups banned my political rocks. Instead of calling us "rockies" on this site we are called "stoners". LOL! The membership rule members agree to is if you are offended, keep scrolling. Sometimes I get tired of all the drug references, but the quality of art is worth it. These subversive groups have incredibly talented members and the paintings are jaw-dropping if not very intimidating.

What I really like about rock painting is the paints are cheap so they have less chemicals and are less toxic, and the painting space is small. It's one of those rare non-toxic forms of recreation.

Glass-on-Glass Mosaics - I continued from the beginning of the year through the summer doing mosaics, but moved the enterprise from my living room out into my garage when the weather warmed up. I got really tired of glass shards all over my house. I ran out of small, practice frames and expanded into the big window frames. I love them. Once fall weather made the garage an ice box I stopped. I also ran out of glue and got tired of finger infections. Next summer when the weather improves I may start again. Maybe. I've acquired new (free) frames. I like that it is fairly non-toxic with the exception of the sealants and glues, but I'm not sure I want to dabble in such an expensive and dangerous creative outlet. My closets are filled with mosaics. I either need to figure out how to sell them or stop.

Weight Loss - I've lost fifteen lbs. which in my life experience is a bit of a miracle. All my old clothes once again fit me. As long as I stick to my version of the AIP diet and practice portion control to keep my colon working, I hope to maintain the weight or lose more. We'll see. This may just be wishful thinking.

Garage/Yard Sales and Freebies - I love them. Our local thrift store was putting boxes of freebies outside for anyone to take. That was fun. I got all kinds of excellent junk!  They eventually stopped doing it, unfortunately. There didn't seem to be many yard sales this year. I had one of my own but only to support my neighbor's sale so I didn't have much junk and it wasn't very lucrative.

Blog - I haven't been writing much on the blog, but I still enjoy it as therapy. Sometimes I just read my old posts for entertainment!

DIY Construction - I painted house trim and the garage. Hooray!

Employment - Work has never been more consistent. Money is good. Security is better.

Friends - I appreciate the fragrance-free friends who keep me sane in-person or through email.

Christmas Cards - First time in a LONG TIME I sent Christmas cards. Normally I don't even think about it until a couple days before Christmas and by then it's too late. I was inspired by the generosity of a new friend and in response a portrait I did of her.

I loved the background so much which represented Heaven and I had to do another painting of just the pattern. At the last minute I realized Christmas was around the corner so I added Christmas motifs. Voila! Christmas cards were born! But then I realize I don't have that many friends so I'm not sure if it was a practical idea, but I experienced the pros and cons of printing art so that was an education experience. I feel really proud I was organized enough this year to get cards done! Then I received some! Hooray!

Activism - There haven't been as many protests this year, but they are so enjoyable when like-minded people gather. Painting protest signs and patriotic parasols is incredibly entertaining. Sharing them with others inspires so much joy and laughter it's definitely worth all the energy and effort. My new umbrellas:

Cinnamon-Flavored Dental Floss!!! OMG! I've been using plain, un-waxed, un-flavored dental floss for years. It's non-toxic, but it's painfully sharp and boring. This year I got a free, brand new box of cinnamon-flavored waxed dental floss. OMG! I can't wait to floss my teeth everyday, every meal! It's the little things that make life great....

MIDDLE GROUND STUFF:

Health Care - The oxymoron. I managed to avoid most health care for the last year and a half with the exception of a bad acupuncture experience and one more horrible new practitioner to add to my very lengthy list of useless providers. Such a huge savings in money and peace of mind to avoid health non-care. That's not to say my body isn't falling apart. Body parts are still not working, pain still happens, and chemical sensitivity still persists. I'm just trying not to waste so much energy on the worry since health care is such a failure anyway. The amount of money and time I've expended in hopes of finding answers is offensive. It's my goal to avoid future waste.

The Date - First date in about fifteen years. He was nice, but he was a man's man: controlling, incapable of listening, and had Trumptard leanings. The date was adequate and it was fun to babble non-stop as I get out so infrequently. He told me I was a good conversationalist and getting out made me feel like a "normal" person again. Being reclusive and isolated takes a toll on one's soul, but dating is just toxic and dangerous. He suggested another date so I don't think I screwed it up too badly, but then after our post-date email exchanges of political disagreements, he never contacted me again. Although I might have enjoyed continuing the debate just for the fun of it, I got the impression he didn't like that I disagreed with him on any level for any reason. I was thankful he disappeared and I did not attempt to contact him again. Dating is too much hassle. I like being "self-partnered."

Art Judging - Not sure how I feel about this. I was the art judge for our local fair. It was fun to look at art; to cognitively use my brain to assess the level of quality. There was a wide variety of artists from professional to amateur. It was definitely interesting. They requested I write lots of comments, but I don't know if they realized comments take time. I had no idea it would take so long. The building superintendent drove me insane with her incessant cackle while I was trying to think. She failed to close the building so there were people wandering in and out, looking and asking questions which was inappropriate, distracting, and SMELLY. She also expected me to give blue ribbons regardless of quality but as a form of therapy. Fair management treated their volunteers like garbage. On the time sheet there is a choice of being paid or donating your pay to the fair. I had planned to volunteer, but I got so pissed off on how I was treated I marked on my time sheet to be paid. They never paid me.

Fair Entries - I entered some painted rocks and a mosaic in our country fair. It was fun, but since I was the judge I couldn't compete in many of the categories. Oh well.

Art Sales - I courageously (!) attempted to sell some of my painted rocks. They were displayed in two art galleries for the holiday season and at a Christmas bazaar for one day. Then I got really brave and joined a painted rock auction site where ten of my rocks were posted online for people to look at and bid on for a week. That was frightening. It was painful. I received a lot of compliments, but no sales. I was happy for it to be over after a stressful week of hyperventilating. Although it was interesting and educational, it made me question why I was wasting so much time and money creating the rocks if no one thinks they are good enough to buy. It was discouraging. Granted, my prices were really high to compensate for the gallery commissions. Then I reminded myself painting rocks is my entertainment. It keeps me sane with little else to do living in the middle of no where.

Thanksgiving Turkey - It was the first time in twenty years I cooked and ate a turkey. It was fine. Nothing exciting. Very expensive, but those leftover turkey sandwiches were outstanding.

BAD THINGS:

The Presidunce Trump - The creepy, corrupt, illiterate, immature, unprofessional, incredibly ignorant, sexist, misogynistic, racist rapist who is still in the White House inciting division and violence among Americans. He doesn't belong there. I pray 2020 brings us more hope and a leader who children can once again see as a role model, but I'm not holding my breath. A majority of Americans are stupid. Most of them don't understand politics. Even some of my friends who don't vote will get glassy-eyed when I try to talk to them. "I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND ANY OF IT!" That's hard to argue with especially when they aren't capable of understanding and not interested in trying. Or "I like Trump because he says stupid things." Oh for god's sake...it's not the job of a president to entertain the ignorant! Stupidity is an epidemic. That's a fact. And the presidunce has rallied the brain dead to his side...like zombies they follow him without any regard for the state of the country.

Aging and Health - Aging is a bitch. For anyone out there who doesn't know this, I am confirming it. I keep complaining, Why was I never warned?, but the truth is I was. How does one respond to an elderly aunt who says, "Oh, you don't want to get old. It's horrible." I remember my young, immortal self thinking, Well! What's my choice? I don't want to die young either! So I persist in life and often wonder why I'm bothering. My new life resolution is to avoid health care and if I die, I die. We'll see. I still don't want to die...but it's inevitable.

People - They are so constantly disappointing. My New Year's Resolution to find new friends is over. Thank god. I tried! I really did. In the past year the people I thought had friendship potential consisted of someone who constantly badgered me in hopes of getting free rocks, someone who tried to blackmail me for free rocks, someone who decided because I didn't knit I wasn't worth her time, someone who thinks understanding politics is a waste of time, someone who hoards pets, and someone who talks to Jesus and plans to marry him. That last person I actually like. She is teaching me patience and challenges my tolerance when she lectures me on bogus claims of her misinterpretations of Christianity or on how NOT chosen I am because Jesus doesn't talk to me. Sometimes I have to take a step back. People are strange and I'm sure they think I'm just as strange.

Rat Infestation - Rathole was invested with rats this year. The local hardware store had to rip out all its ceilings. Every business had bait stations lining the outside of their buildings. AND...The rats moved into my crawlspace. Nothing would kill them. Everyone complained. Then I found super-duper rat poison called "Just One Bite" and it kills them the first night they snack. Dead in three days. Most poisons don't take effect for 10-14 days. Not this one. Dead. And horribly expensive! I had to travel to a distant location to get it and when I bought it I had to give them my name and address. Hmmm...Why? I asked. In case my neighbors or neighbor's pets start dying, they'll know who to suspect. Scary. But supposed the neighbors' cats eat some poisoned rats? That wouldn't be my fault. My idiot neighbors have told me they want their cats wandering the neighborhood hunting for recreation [and crapping in my garden]. Stupid, irresponsible, bad pet owners. I worried, but seriously, I didn't have a choice. Rats are noisy and destructive. Better dead than not dead. It was quiet for two weeks and then I had new rats move in! Dead, again, in three days! The winter war has been horrible this year, but I am armed!

Vampire Rat Painted Rock Talisman to Keep Rats Away
(I find inspiration in strange places. LOL!)

Davenport Death - This was so horrible I don't even like talking about it. I had my couch my whole adult life. It was part of my history, my soul, and it moved with me no less than fifteen times. It was in immaculate condition, however, it was creating dust probably due to cheap foam that was used the last time I had it reupholstered so I knew it was time to have it redone. That's not possible with the treatments on fabrics so I opted to give it away. No one wanted it. There is no way I could take it to the dump and throw it in a garbage bin. That would give me a nervous breakdown - like killing a loved one. So I donated it to the local thrift store which supports a Christian church. They sold it the first day and I was so thrilled it would get new owners who would love it. The new owners waited too long to pick it up, a homeless guy slept on it and set it on fire! I saw it the next day smoldering and gutted. I was horrified and angry. My life couch deserved a better end.

Traffic Ticket - First one in, oh, thirty years! It wasn't a reflection of my bad driving but a clear indication of how OLD I'm getting...I didn't pay my license tabs. I thought I did. I wrote down I did, but somehow messed up the online payment process (probably) or just forgot to get it done after I wrote "Paid" on my accounting ledger. As I say below under "BAD THINGS", aging is a bitch and this is evidence. But then I had the opportunity to mitigate the ticket by writing a letter to the judge. Oh good lord! I wrote a whole manuscript begging for mercy. What was my defense? Aging is a bitch. After I submitted it I thought, Oh god! The judge will probably charge me more for taking up so much of his time. I was given two options: 1) pay only $100 of the $231 fine and have it on my record which will increase my insurance costs OR 2) pay the whole $231 fine and have it deferred off my record if I can avoid doing anything stupid for the next six months. It seems like bribery if I have to pay more to have it removed off my record and my brother did the same thing not too long ago and he was only charged $30.00...bribery and sexism with a whole lot of classism thrown in for good measure. Hmmm...Our justice system is crap.

SUMMARY: It's been a busy year. It was a good year entertained with awesome art projects. I think the fewer doctor's appointments I have, the happier I am, and the fewer weird people encounters, the more content I am. I'll keep that in mind going forward.

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS:

To be more kind and generous. Write more blog posts. Stay away from doctors. Downsize. VOTE 2020!