Hiking

I walk all the time at least once if not twice a day. Sometimes I go to other towns and locations and walk with friends, but mostly I walk in my neighborhood or in my town alone. Walking is a low-intensity exercise good for Hashimoto's and chemical sensitivity. It doesn't incite an autoimmune attack and gets me out in the fresh air. The only time I don't walk is if it could be dangerous: ice, monsoon winds or air pollution caused by any number of sources. Where I live the streets and neighborhoods are fairly flat. I've gotten quite bored with it so I expanded my horizons and headed for the hills!

I live in logging country so my little town is surrounded by forest. For miles and miles one can see rolling hills of greenery. It's quite lovely and the air is amazingly clean.

Humans have left their mark on this primaeval wilderness so the wilds are etched with logging roads that go for miles. They start at the highway, usually blocked by a large metal security gate, and head straight up the hill.

There are two kinds of roads. The first is graveled, well-used by logging trucks, maintenance trucks, property owners, and radio tower operators and marked with numbers at intersections. The second road style is grassy with tire ruts with off-shoots of overgrown ex-roads covered with grass, shrubs and sometimes blocked with sapling trees. I think it would be easy to get lost as these roads spider-web for miles. I've made many trips over the years to walk, pick berries, gather boulders (for my garden), or just escape.

My first (recent) foray into the wilderness I hiked only a half a mile, stopping about ten times to catch my breath and rest my tired leg muscles. It's a steady incline so it takes some stamina. I am now  capable of walking straight up the hill for a mile or more without stopping. I still breathe hard and wonder if the exercise is too intense, but I know it's good for my COVID-scarred lungs, builds bones and strengthens muscles. I also read walking in woods is a dose of really good natural probiotics from all the decomposing material causing healthy microbacteria floating in the air.

I've always been a little hesitant to walk the logging roads. There are wild animals in the woods! Cougars, coyotes, and bears, especially during the spring when the bears have little bears and can get very protective of their cubs. However, I'm more afraid of logging trucks than wildlife. And men....I'm more afraid of men than any animal or truck!

One of the logging company maintenance men was at one of the gates one day as I arrived and we began talking about the roads. He warned me of a homeless man who was a bit hostile and perhaps mentally ill. The logging company holds a lottery every year so that 300 people can get passes that cost $325 for the year. This gives them keys for gate access and they are able to hunt, fish, train search and rescue dogs, forage for food, camp, or live in vans up in the wilderness. 

The week before I spoke with the maintenance guy I did hike past a man with a backpack coming down the hill on one of the little used grassy logging roads. I said, "Good morning." He replied, "Good morning, how are you?" I said, "I am wonderful. How are you? He said enthusiastically, "I am blessed by the Lord!" as he kept walking. Now I do think Christianity is a mental illness, but he seemed harmless enough. The maintenance man did admit he gave the homeless man a trespassing ticket for not having a pass...yeah, that might have made him hostile.

Still, as a precaution against mentally ill or bad behaving men, unmanaged dogs, angry mama bears, or hungry cougars, I take a stun gun with me. On occasion I hit the button by accident or even lean on it and it scares the beejeebies out of me. I've only used it once and that was on a loudly buzzing insect that circled me for about 100 feet and it worked just by pointing it. From what I understand it might pause a bear rather than scare it away so I have to aim for the snout or if the bear is gnawing on my arm or leg, hit her in the mouth. I am hoping it would annihilate a bad man or biting dog. I kind of look forward to trying it out!

Most of the roads are lined with thick forest so they offer little in the way of scenery, but if I climb high enough there are views of the valley and of the town where I live. I love all the green! It amazes me and although I've lived in this area of the country for most of my life, I don't take it for granted.

Nature is so amazingly beautiful.

Pen Pals

 I had pen pals when I was in high school. My best friend moved away in ninth grade and we had letter writing contests until we were off to college. My French teacher had us sign up for international pen pals so we could practice our language skills so I had pen pals in France and England. I loved writing letters. This was before computers so they were handwritten and snail-mailed. Then we all grew up, got busy with life and writing letters went by the wayside.

A blog I followed wrote a post on friendship and letter writing. The post suggested, if brave enough, to submit our addresses if we want to exchange letters, postcards, happy thoughts or support with the other blog followers. I thought this would be a wonderful way to meet people and converse safely without chemical exposures so I gave it a try.

I started by sending birthday cards in Christmas envelopes to anyone who sounded compatible or people who were going through a tough time. I sent some postcards with uplifting quotes. It felt good to send happiness and cheer through the mail. I love to write about nothing. I love to decorate. This was fun!

People wrote back with their own cards. Some sent art, stickers, decorations. Others discussed their interests, hobbies, travels, health, family, and books they are reading. One woman who was experiencing grief wrote telling me she thought my printing style was "very comforting, creative, uniform and decisive". It made her feel calm amidst the surrounding turmoil she was experiencing. Wow. Who would have thought printing would have that kind of effect on anyone?

Some wrote only once and others kept writing. Handwriting letters is odd. First, it's totally not like typing. You can't just free write thoughtlessly and correct mistakes as you go or you end up with one messy letter. It took me a while to get used to the idea that once I sent the letter, there won't be an immediate response like email. I also found I couldn't remember what I wrote in the last letter so I had to start copying the letters. How did I used to write a letter and not copy it? The anticipation of waiting for a response is both fun and frustrating. I wonder what is taking them so long? I wonder if they decided to stop writing. I wonder if I said something stupid or off-putting!

Then one woman sent me paper and an envelope that she watercolor washed in bright colors! It was so joyful, creative and inspiring to find something in my dark and dreary mailbox besides dark and dreary bills! I was absolutely dazzled and delighted by the brilliance. I was determined to share this experience with not only my pen pal who sent me the watercolored paper, but with all my other pen pals. Everyone deserves to be dazzled. I also got some free envelopes with cellophane address windows.

Here are a few of my watercolor envelope designs and interior cards to cover the windows: 

Walls of Words

Entertainment is limited for people who are chemically sensitive. We must isolate from people, either unenlightened individuals who have no clue how to be fragrance free or masses of humanity who group for social events such as restaurant dining, concerts, theater, movies, sports, family functions, and the like. We find ourselves exiled and isolated from others. 

Although I've gotten used to being alone and have found ways to entertain myself in my isolation, I often tell people I am "socially starved." The unenlightened don't normally understand this concept. They have zero empathy because for the most part it is unfathomable to them. The pandemic shed some light on the lifestyle of many chemically sensitive when so many people were forced in lockdown to stay at home, stay away from people to stay safe, and find ways to self-entertain. The unenlightened complained of gaining too much weight. Yep, it comes with isolated self-entertainment. We eat to self-medicate. 

I've discussed forms of isolated entertainment in other posts: creative projects, gardening, walking, television and movies, music. These are great to keep one's mind occupied, but "social starvation", a total lack of human contact and communication, is a whole other form of torture. I crave communication. I am not necessary lonely or in need of company...I just want to communicate. This blog is a great outlet. Email is a god-sent. How did we ever survive without computers? I can't imagine being chemically sensitive at a time when there were no computers or online connection. Thankfully the world wide web keeps us connected to the world, perhaps indirectly, but it's still a connection.

I have been bestowed with the gift of gab. I can talk or write non-stop if given the chance. As an extreme introvert, I never used to be like this, but I have evolved through isolation to seek out strategies of connection and communication. 

My last real "date" with a man was not supposed to be a date. Under normal dating circumstances, I would have conversed like a normal person, discussed topics, answered and asked questions. Because I viewed it as a non-date, I didn't care about conversation etiquette and proceeded to talk non-stop about anything. It was like uncontrollable vomit, purging all the words I'd kept inside for too long. He was fragrance-free and kind of quiet so I was having a good time. At the end of our "non-date" he said, "You sure are a great communicator!" I think a normal first date would not have been so verbose in an attempt to look rationale. He actually wanted to go out again, but since it was a non-date, I declined. This also made me realize my past dating behaviors might have been self-sabotaging. I should have just let loose and talked non-stop. I might have been considered more interesting!

My emailing addiction can become out of control. Every now and then I meet someone new or reconnect with someone old and we begin to correspond. For reconnections, the reminiscing is grand and the updates and sharing what we've done with our lives is phenomenal. It can go on for quite a while, but we eventually run out of things to say, the emails slow down and then stops except for an update every few months. That is normal and expected. I know I can write them under the table. I've had people finally tell me, "OK! Too much! I can't keep up!" One friend told me I was exhausting her. At first I thought, It's email! Just don't read! It's not like a phone that is ringing and demanding attention." I think, however, that etiquette demands emails to be read and answered and this overwhelmed them.

So I started monitoring my emails, managing their length and frequency. My rule was I could only write as much and as long as the other person. I thought I was the queen of compromise, but nevertheless, I still had people scream, "TOO MUCH!" This was confusing. Too much? You are writing just as much if not more than I am!? Case in point, on the day one friend told me it was too much she sent me four emails. Then a week later sent me two letters! Last week she spent one day emailing me eleven times!!!!!!???? Confusion is an understatement. I think it's more about CONTROL. Regardless of mental state or reasoning, writing was still taking up too much time, time the unenlightened don't have because as people who are not chemically sensitive, the world called to them. They had things to do, places to go, and sane people to see, people who weren't locked in their houses at the computer writing 24/7. They don't understand the isolation of chemical sensitivity nor the lack of entertainment or communication options. I tried to apologize and explain how socially starved I am. They don't care.

I've always searched for MCSers who want to correspond. Some do, but most are very negative and it's very draining. I do understand. It's difficult being chemically sensitive, sick, resentful and angry at the world for this forced reclusion. I try to control my posts on this blog so I don't get too negative, but it oozes through like a festering wound especially during times of uncontrollable frustration. I just want to vent to get it all out.

I recently met another MCSer who was uncommonly cheerful. We started responding to each other's posts on a MCS site. She was hilarious. Her writing style is joyful and upbeat. I figured maybe she was on some good drugs. She told me we were "twinsies". HA! She constantly made me laugh. We began messaging each other outside the group and she warned me, "I can write WALLS OF WORDS!" LOL! Oh, my god, I think I found my people!

That joy lasted about a day before she began ranting non-stop about how horrible her life is, how horrible her childhood was, how horrible her family is, how horrible her ex-boyfriend from forty years ago was and my super empath sucked all that toxicity in and I became irritable and stressed out. She explained she doesn't want to converse because she's so passive it makes her feel judged. She just wants to talk about herself. I wanted to scream "DO A BLOG!" LOL. I just can't do MCS people. I'm sure they can't do me either.

The Fantasy Garden of Happiness Room

Is anyone having lots of pandemic fun? Boy, I am! After painting so many of my interior rooms in bright, happy colors, I was exhausted and finished. Then I had some more extra free time and tackled the "mud room" or back door entrance. Door landings and entrances I believe are a free-for-all: they are "through" rooms. No one sits in the room and stares at the walls so as far as I'm concern, anything can happen! 

It was previously painted with a floral pattern, but the walls are wood paneling and unfortunately, many years ago I received very bad advice  on how to prep them and vibration from nearby semi-trucks caused the seams between the panels to crack over time. The walls needed to be redone. I found out the proper method is to use flexible caulking, prime it with exterior flat white, and then paint whatever you want. I already had the exterior paint for my house's trim and all the leftover paint from the other rooms. I decided to create a fantasy garden to match the floor at the front door landing. Zero cost, but very time consuming. I got a little crazy. It reminds me of a circus especially the ceiling. So cheerful!

Ceiling

I really want to paint this door RED!

I did! Love the RED!

The Hoarder

For most of my adult life I've lived in tiny, one bedroom apartments with stark white walls and few closets. Minimalism was my middle name. I had little room for anything so gathering or stocking up on essentials or non-essentials was out of the question. Besides I hated shopping. I still hate shopping. 

Then in an attempt to rid myself of shared walls with toxic neighbors and dangerous landlords who want to spray chemicals or paint without warning, I bought a house. By my standards, a HUGE house. Three bedrooms. It was out in the middle of no where so the price was right. For years I had empty closets. I just didn't need all that room with so little possessions.

Well, all that's changed. My house is full. My closets are packed. I even have a garden shed and garage that is filled to the max. How did that happen? WHEN did that happen?

I love sunflowers!

It actually started as soon as I moved. Being disabled because of chemical sensitivity, unable to work and too close to homelessness at one point, that fear of impending financial doom is always in the back of my mind. Saving money any way I can is a priority. I've been a devoted customer of Freecycle and with a house that echoed, I started gathering. I love Freecycle and I started getting free furniture which inspired me to paint furniture which quickly got out of control. 

Then a few years ago the local junk store went out of business and started leaving their unwanted junk on the sidewalk with FREE signs. That was wonderful. Then I discovered the thrift store in the neighboring town puts all the donations they can't sell out in their carport with a huge FREE sign. I've become addicted. I love seeing what treasures are waiting for me. I've love bringing junk home cleaning, restoring, fixing, painting and giving the junk some tender loving care and a new life. It makes me feel resourceful and proud to find items I need and can use especially since much of it can be recycled for art projects. I don't even bother with yard sales anymore. Who wants to actually BUY something? They do often have free boxes for digging and that's where I head. Neighbors often put stuff out on the sidewalk with free signs. I have no qualms about digging through someone else's garbage. In fact, I come from a long line of dumpster divers! The rule is if I can use it now or in the future, take it as long as it's non-toxic or doesn't stink. Below are some of the items I've gleaned recently, in no particular order:

Tablecloths, kitchen towels, pot holders, cookware, bakeware, plates, cups, soup bowls, ceramic bowls, large brightly colored plastic bowls, crockpots, Elmer's glue, toothbrushes, dental floss, paint brushes, paint edgers, oil pastels, color crayons, pencils, greeting cards of all kinds, ribbon, florist wire, beads, jewelry, hair dryer, Christmas platters, sheets, fabric, pillows, books, magazines, paintings, bunny erasers, bird houses, chairs, footstools, vases, paper plates, plastic utensils, ceramic teapots, ceramic pitcher, pottery, toilet seats, t-shirts, turtle necks, hats, coats, socks, jeans, blouses, garden tools, phone covers, storage bins, files, craft supplies for 1st graders, coat hooks, sewing supplies of all kinds, yard furniture, spider web decorations for Halloween, one giant spider, rubber boots, Converse shoes, rugs, lamp shades, plastic mats, cutting boards, amphora, electric candles, Christmas ornaments, Christmas lights, Christmas beads, Christmas tree stand, wrapping paper, tissue paper, cafeteria tables, notebooks, dining room tables, Virgin Mary statue, toothpicks, felt pens, cane, dishracks, light cover, light switch covers, curtains, flashlight, and one really cool metal fan.

I have started collections. I've never been one for collecting anything so this is a new and wonderous experience and understand now why people collect things just for the sake of collecting. Not that I need to collect anything.... The first is gift bags. There are always gift bags to be had for free. They are usually unused, brand new, with fancy ribbons for handles, and cards attached. I don't know what I'll do with them. It's not like I give gifts to a lot of people. Some of them are absolutely gorgeous.

 I've also started collecting little decorated cardboard boxes, also for gifts. Yeah, between the wrapping paper, greeting cards, tissue paper, ribbons, gift bags and now gift boxes, I think I have gift-giving in my future. These boxes are really adorable:

I've become fanatical about frames of every shape and size. Initially I started collecting these because I volunteered to help kids at the fair put their art for the art show in frames. Because of the pandemic, the fair was cancelled this year so I have about 100 frames stuffed into a closet, but I can't stop taking them! Habits are hard to break! I limit my collection to only wood frames, although sometimes I take a frame only for the glass or matt board. Some frames are incredibly beautiful and intricate; some very old with lots of history. Every now and then I search through the frames and do a painting for one of them or create a mosaic. I'll never run out of frames! I'm considering doing something creative with them. Not sure what yet.

I looked for years for a lamp shade for an antique lamp and found one that matches it perfectly. (See top photo.) Then I thought it would be fun to learn how to redo shades so I collected about six.

Probably the weirdest things I started collection are old dish towels. Yeah, you heard that right. OLD dish towels. It started when I went to the store to buy dish towels. $7.00 each??!! Are you kidding? I thought maybe I could cut up a regular bath towel, but then I started finding them in the alley free pile at the thriftstore. They are often seasonal, fall or Christmas, so they are hardly used. I only take ones that are 100% cotton and don't have rips or tears. I do take those with stains, but I bring them all home and bleach them in the washer with hot water. If the stains persist, I use those for rags. So many of them are ugly, but that's part of their charm. LOL! I'm also fond of Christmas pot holders. LOL!

The one freebie I really, really like is an original oil painting by Eugene Kingman who was a professor at RISD in the 1940s according to online sources. The frame is beautiful. I don't think it's worth anything. It's a fairly small, non-descript, mundane landscape with no context, but I like it and I love that the artist has an online presence. I've tried emailing the website to find out more about the painting, but no one has responded. It even has a certification of authenticity on the back.

I found this painting, too, but it's not by anyone I can find online: 

It looks like it's Havana (?). Perhaps painted by an amateur painter (?) or street artist (?).  I'm guessing it might have been a tourist purchase. I just read a book on a 1950s African American painter who spent a lot of time in Havana painting so I felt a connection. It was a very popular destination for artists to go back then. I love the bright colors, but I'm not sure if I will keep it.

It's very weird to be a hoarder and I am hoping it doesn't get too out of control and I end up with trails through my house with junk piled to the ceilings. I've seen houses like that. It's definitely mentally ill. For me it might be a hormonal thing and I'm nesting or in some kind of survival mode. I can't blame it on the pandemic since this started long before. I love saving money especially when I find things I need. Still, trying to get enough supplies to weather this pandemic has been challenging. I'm just not a buyer so I'm not good at stocking up or self-centered hoarding. When my friend Girl Alive told me to go stock up on groceries and toilet paper, it still took me three trips to the store before I bought even an adequate amount...not counting the three year's supply of toilet paper I bought a year ago when I cancelled my Costco membership. That was a smart move!

Visiting a thrift store in a back alley is much safer than shopping with toxic people! My neighbor's garbage pile - much safer than shopping with toxic people. But free stuff is so wonderful!

Sightseeing

I've always wanted to see this old covered bridge that is two hours away, but never took the time. Here it is!

It was a little scary walking over the bridge with no where to jump if a car came. And dark! I didn't think a driver could see me. You don't see huge beams and floor planks like that anymore.

Beautiful area. Beautiful day for being a tourist.

I FOUND A ROCK!!!

How did I not ever know about these painted rocks before now? It was quite by accident as I walked out of the co-op yesterday and there sat a painted rock for me to find! My first! I wanted to scream like a four-year old, "I FOUND A ROCK! I FOUND A ROCK!" Such an amazing, joyous experience! It has totally changed how I interact with the world. I walk and shop and even drive looking for places people might hide rocks. I've become obsessed!

Below is a photo of my treasure. Although my ownership of it was short-lived, the ecstasy of the find has lasted now for twenty-four hours. After coveting this gift closed to my bosom for barely a half an hour, I re-hid it to spread the joy.

I keep calling it "my rock" but I only found it. I hope the artist identifies herself and takes credit so I may thank her for the happiness she contributed to my day.

JOY!!!

Rock Painting

I have found a new art project! Another paintable surface! ROCKS! It seems there are Facebook pages for circulating painted rocks by hiding them in the community and posting their approximate location. People search, find (or not), then post the painted rock.

I'm not really clear how this works. Some people say the rocks are then supposed to be recirculated after posting. This would be really fun if that is actually what people do, but some people keep the ones they want. I would hope they would then donate their own rocks to be found to keep the game going. I can see keeping the rocks for a short, cherished time, but I think it's better to give than to receive and I think it's more fun to hide and search than keep and hoard. Our society is far too materialistic. Share the love, pass it on. Just my opinion...

Some of the painted rocks shown online are absolutely magnificent and detailed. I'm amazed and humbled by the talent.

My local library did a rock painting activity. The participants were fairly nontoxic. The polyurethane sprays used to coat the finished rocks were toxic, but I learned quickly to sit far away from the door.

The above photo is the first one I painted. I wasn't sure how this was going to go so it's very tiny, maybe an inch and a half in diameter. On the back I painted a tiny pink flower:

For the Facebook rock groups, on the backs one should put which FB group it's from so people will share when they found it.

Then I got excited and did the sun face below. This rock is about five inches in diameter so much bigger.

On the back is rain:

Then I did a matching moon:

Stars on the back:

I have a lot of flat, round rocks in my garden. I'm inspired to paint faces on each one.

FUN!!!