Tater Tots!, or I Ate a Whole Cauliflower

Oh, how I miss tater tots! I used to buy a whole bag and eat them for a meal. For those of you who might not know what a tater tot is (horrors!), they are grated potatoes, spiced with chemicals, formed into little squarish rolls, deep-fried in saturated fats, and then frozen to last for eternity. Crispy on the outside, warm and toasty on the inside. Yum.

Or rather yuck. They haven't been on my diet for a long, long time. I guess they should be renamed "Toxic Tots."

My favorite Christmas card of all time was a cartoon of a tater tot with eyes. The inside read, "Tater tots with their eyes all a glow." HAHAHA It still makes me LOL!

Here is a recipe for something that resembles a tater tot:

Pepperoni Pizza Tots

Of course, I tweaked it just a little. It called for "Italian seasoning" which is some kind of processed mix and I used herbs. And garlic powder. I suppose garlic powder could be healthy, but I don't trust any pre-processed powder since so many use gluten as an anti-caking agent. I used real, grated garlic. The recipe said to use parchment paper on your baking sheet. First, I don't have parchment paper, but more importantly, why would anyone want to eat tater tots that haven't been fried in oil? I don't know if these would hold up to deep-frying, which I'd never do anyway, but I oiled the baking sheet with olive oil. The original recipe was created by Kelly Bejelly@A Girl Worth Saving.

Ingredients:

2 lb. cauliflower (one head), cut into florets
1/2 teaspoon each: oregano, marjoram, basil, thyme, cayenne, salt, pepper
1/2 teaspoon minced fresh garlic
1/3 cup coconut flour
2 large eggs
8 slices Applegate pepperoni, diced
olive oil

Boil cauliflower in a pot of water for four minutes. Remove, drain, cool completely.

Finely dice cauliflower. Don't food process it or it'll turn to puree and won't work for this recipe.

Add coconut flower, spices, and pepperoni to diced cauliflower. Mix.

Add eggs. Mix.

Scoop out large spoonful and shape tightly into oval. Place on baking sheet covered with olive oil.

Bake 350 degrees for 45-50 minutes. Eat.

Yum. I ate the whole pan! Yeah, this is another recipe that is far to good for anyone to remain in control.

I did worry about the pepperoni although the brand is very reputable. No reactions at all.

Blackened Salmon (recipe)

At the Naked Parade I tasted the best Blackened Salmon that the booth owner guaranteed was gluten-free. I immediately headed to the computer when I got home to find recipes I could test, combine and tweak to call my very own. Nothin' like a new way to eat a staple food. I've been getting pretty tired of the same old salmon.

Ingredients:
4 - 3 ounce skinless salmon fillets
3-4 tablespoons olive oil
spicy rub

Ingredients for Rub:

1 tablespoon paprika
1 tablespoon cayenne
1 tablespoon thyme
1 tablespoon salt
1 tablespoon pepper
1 tablespoon basil (optional)
1 tablespoon oregano (optional)

It works best if all these herbs and spices are dry. I tried using the fresh herbs and it doesn't coat as well so you get large pieces of burned, or rather "blackened" gunk. It tastes better with the dried herbs and spices. Mix together in a bowl. Transfer to large, flat plate. Coat salmon pieces evenly on both sides with rub. Heat frying pan with olive oil until hot (medium heat), place salmon pieces in single layer, cooking for 4-8 minutes on one side, flip and cook the other side 4-8 minutes. Length of time depends on size and thickness of fillets. You just want to blacken them, not burn them to a crisp.

I warn you, this is HOT. Eat it with rice, bread or something equally forbidden to soak up the heat. I tend to sneeze if I get around too much cayenne and I only know this because I sprinkle it around the outside of my house as a bug deterrent. I've never eaten a lot of cayenne. I was sneezing and coughing non-stop for about 15 minutes after this meal.

I forgot to take photos. If I make it again, I'll add them.

Shrimp and Avocado Salad (recipe)

I found this recipe on the The Paleo Mom blog. It has shrimp or prawns which are not allowed on the Hashimoto's diet especially large prawns since they are considered too polluted and toxic. Shellfish is highly recommended for the AIP and Paleo diets since they are so high in good fat, Omega-3's, and minerals. I don't know. I figured if I don't eat them too often, it'll be OK. Usually when I eat prawns I have weird dreams and that is a clear indication that I ate something mildly toxic.

However, this recipe has cilantro in it. I love the smell of cilantro and have tried to grow it in my garden in year's past. I tend to shy away from cilantro as it has such a strong taste, but it's an effective detoxifier of one's liver so I'm always adding it to salads or Mexican dishes. I'm thinking the cilantro will neutralize the toxicity of the prawns. Maybe? Hmmm... I don't know if it was the lime, but the cilantro wasn't overbearing as usual. Very good!

Ingredients for Cilantro Dressing:

3 tablespoons of fresh lime juice
2 tablespoons of olive oil
1/2 cup of fresh cilantro
salt and pepper

Salad ingredients:

1 lb. cooked shrimp or prawns, shelled and de-veined
2 avocados, peeled and sliced
4 cups of lettuce or salad greens
Cilantro Dressing

Combine dressing ingredients and pour over shrimp or prawns. Mix to coat. Refrigerate for about an hour.

Place lettuce in a bowl, add avocados and shrimp/prawn mixture.

Eat.

YUM!

My dreams that night weren't anxiety-ridden or horrifying, but they went on all night. Every time I'd wake up then fall back to sleep, they'd continue. I went from being in my house with strange men outside my window, to volunteering in a hospital, to visiting Jason Mraz with his kids (he doesn't have kids), to teaching in a strange school. My brain is so weird....

Breakfast of Champions: Liver

I am the proud owner of a slab of cow's liver. Eeewww. Now don't get me wrong, as a child I grew up on beef having been raised on a small farm (you can read about that HERE) and actually liked liver as long as it was smothered in ketchup.

About a year ago after reading about the health benefits of liver, I attempted to cook a portion. It's definitely a cheap cut of meat, high in micronutrients, especially minerals. I didn't remember exactly how we cooked it during my childhood so I just threw it in the pan. It tasted like...well, let's just say it all ended up in the garbage along with the one bite I tasted.

There was a humorous anecdote in Reader's Digest about a little girl who was served liver and she asked, "Mommy, why are we eating diarrhea for dinner?" LOL! My thoughts exactly. Determined to eat like a Paleo cavewoman on the advice of many currently popular Paleo authors, I ventured forth.

As I stared at the meat case I asked anyone within hearing, "How does one make liver so it is edible?"

One woman told me she didn't think anyone should eat liver because it's the organ that filters and stores all the toxins. I told her I thought so, too, but according to The Paleo Mom (Sarah Ballantyne) book, The Paleo Approach, the liver does filter toxins, but it doesn't store them. Instead it "binds them, thereby rendering them inert, and then typically shuttles them to the kidneys for excretion in the urine but also to the gallbladder for secretion into the gastrointestinal tract and excretion in the stool." 

The Paleo Mom also explains, "While there may be some toxins present in liver from grain-fed, nonorganic, antibiotic-treated animals raised in CAFOs (concentrated animal feeding operations, or factory farms), those toxins are also present in the fat and muscle from those animals to a very similar degree as in the organs. (Some reports suggest that even more heavy metals sequester in muscle than in organs.)" So there you have it!

That is reassuring, sort of. Who does one believe? There are so many theories amongst the hundreds of authors, doctors, or diet gurus and they often conflict. For instance some say goitrogens suppress the thyroid, others say there is no evidence for that. Well, someone thought there was evidence at one time. Was it lost? Or is the misery due to detoxification cause for celebration or worry?  Or we should eat small, more frequent meals rather than fewer, larger meals? If the liver is so efficient at it's job, why are there so many people who have high heavy metals stored in their fat? In the end we must decide based on our common sense, personal experience, and our individual bodies. I have doubts so I'll start slowly and eat just a small amount.

The newly-enlightened woman then leaned closer and graciously imparted her liver-cooking knowledge upon me as if it were a cherished secret: Fry it on medium-high heat, each side for two minutes. Don't cook it all the way through or the texture will make it difficult to eat. It should be a little pink on the inside.

 

Eeeww...I don't eat pink meat. I visualize mad cow disease running rampant through my system. Or parasites burrowing into my brain. Both would render me a vegetable after a period of unthinkable torture and then kill me. Not the way I want to die.

We got to talking about chicken livers which were sold out (along with the elusive cow bones*), and she said fry those livers with onions and bacon. Oh! I could use the bacon grease for the liver oil and make it taste better? She said that would make it really fattening and I countered with that's the diet! Paleo people love their fat and bacon grease is gold. She laughed and said it must be wonderful to have a reason to eat bacon. Exactly!

Anticipating a bloody mess with mad cows running free, I ventured bravely ahead anyway. I was told by another shopper if you can't eat liver plain then chop it all up and add it to meatballs or another food. OR chop the raw liver into tiny pieces and swallowing them like vitamins. Eeeeww...is that safe? I've heard of people putting it in their smoothies raw, too. No way.

Anticipating failure, I cut off just a tiny piece in order to save the rest for meatballs or vitamins. I fried up bacon from grass-fed, non-steroidal pigs first as that would serve as my breakfast protein even if the liver didn't work out. The bloody liver sizzled. I counted aloud exactly two minutes on each side. It was still bloody. Gross. I kept thinking of all the rare steaks I've seen in my life and tried not to think about mad cow. I cut the cooked, slightly red liver in tiny bite-sized pieces and ate.

It was OK! The center, or blood parts, actually tasted like I remembered from childhood. The outer, overdone parts were tough and difficult. I wonder what raw liver tastes like?

Eeeewww! I don't remember it looking as bloody as this picture!
Maybe I was closing my eyes?

I washed it all down with a large salad.


It's only been two weeks, but I haven't cheated once on this AIP diet. I am amazed! However, I am desiring unsweetened carob chips - my formerly 20% Paleo cheats. It's been a long time since I've indulged and they are calling to me. It doesn't help that I'm feeling tired all the time and that just makes me want to cheat in hopes of some energy.


*I thought my co-op was just having a hard time getting cow bones as one of their employees once told me. Come to find out, the bones arrive every Tuesday and are sold out immediately due to the popularity of bone broth! And one must special order organic chicken livers and they only come in the 12 lb. size. They are not making this diet easy.

Parsnip Fries (recipe)

SEE WARNING AT BOTTOM OF POST!

This recipe is a great substitute for French fries.  They are quite good especially if potatoes are forbidden on your diet as they are on mine.

If you cut them thick, they are like French fries (although with that parsnip-ish taste), but if you slice them very thin and bake them until they are toasty, I think they'd make great crackers or parsnip-chips. If you are missing crunchy foods, this will satisfy. As you can see from the photo, if you don't cut them evenly one way or the other, the little skinny ones will burn before the bigger pieces cook completely. As mentioned in the instructions, they tend to burn easily. And they have a very bizarre smell. Not bad, just different. I've never been much of a parsnip connoisseur.

I found this recipe on my friend's Pinterest account and it is originally from Paleo Grubs.

Ingredients

4 medium parsnips, peeled

2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil

Salt and freshly ground pepper

2 tsp truffle oil (optional)

2 tbsp parsley, chopped (optional)

Instructions

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.

Don't buy large parsnips as their cores are tough. Medium or small are preferred. Slice the peeled parsnips into thin fries.Toss in a bowl with the olive oil, salt, and pepper. Spread out in an even layer on a rimmed baking sheet and bake for 20 minutes.

Turn the fries over and place back in the oven. Turn up the heat to 450 degrees F. Bake for an additional 5-10 minutes until crispy, watching closely to make sure that the fries do not burn.

Second batch...I tried cutting them all the same size and ended
up with less burnt pieces. I'm becoming a parsnip fries pro!

Place the fries in a large bowl and toss with the parsley and truffle oil. I don't add this stuff, but I'm sure it would make them even better. Serve warm, topped with additional sea salt if desired.

Yum.

Parsnip Chips...Really Yummy!

WARNING: After a few indulgences I realized I was reacting badly to parsnips. BADLY! Online you will find this is a common allergen creating life-threatening symptoms to some people so make sure you can eat parsnips before you indulge. Read other post on parsnips for more information.

Carrot Cake (recipe)

I found a Paleo recipe for carrot cake. It does use a sweetener so it's not Hashimoto's, but it is gluten and grain free. I was really afraid it would end up dry and tasteless, but it tastes great even without cream cheese frosting!

Grade B raw, organic maple syrup has more fiber, nutrients and is less addictive than white, granulated sugar. It also has a slightly lower glycemic index value, but it tastes sweeter. However, like sugar, if you eat a lot of it, it will cause tooth decay, weight gain, blood sugar issues, and other types of sugar-related health issues. For recipe conversions from sugar to maple syrup, it is suggested to use about half the amount called for (1 cup to 1/2 cup), and due to the extra liquid of the syrup, if possible, reduce the liquid in the recipe 3 tablespoons per one cup. Also, the oven temperature should be reduced by 25 degrees since maple syrup caramelizes at a lower temperature than sugar. Fortunately, I found a recipe that did all the hard work for me!

Unfortunately, I shouldn't be eating it at all but Christmas brings out the worst in me. Thankfully the holiday season lasts a short time and a small amount of organic maple syrup is much better than a huge amount of processed sugar. (I can justify anything!)



Ingredients:

4 large eggs, room temperature
1/2 cup maple syrup
1/4 cup coconut oil, melted
1/2 teaspoon vanilla

1/2 cup coconut flour, sifted
1 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon powdered ginger
1/4 teaspoon sea salt

1 1/4 finely cup shredded carrots
1/4 cup raisins or pecans or both (I put both)

Combine the first four ingredients in a bowl and mix. Add dry ingredients, keep mixing. Fold in carrots and raisins or pecans. Place batter in smallish lined or greased baking dish and bake at 350 degrees for about 20-25 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. For cupcakes, bake only 18-20 minutes.

Yum.

Apple Crisp (recipe)

I love Apple Crisp. I think it was the first recipe I ever followed and the one I made most often over the years. I still have the card that was given to us in my 8th grade junior high home economics class. This card calls it "Apple Cobbler" but we always called it "Apple Crisp". The justification was cobblers were made with something more like pie crust, and crisp was the crumbly bits on the top. I suppose some call it "Apple Crumble" and the name depends on regional traditions.

I have no idea why I felt the need to save this card, but when it came to throwing away all my old gluten/sugar-filled recipes, I couldn't part with it. It's part of my personal history and it's OLD. I must be sentimental. Look at the butter stains all over it? Many, many years of use. Was there ever a time when I really ate a dessert with white flour biscuit mix (!), white and brown sugar, and butter? So evil. Ahhh, the memories! Apple crisp was what we always ate in the fall when the apples on the trees were ripe.

So when I came across this Paleo-style apple crisp recipe, I thought I'd give it a try. Then I tweaked it to perfection. There are some ingredients that are NOT on the Kharrazian Hashimoto's diet, but I have no problem with any of it so for me...it's perfect.

Apple Mixture Ingredients:
2 apples, peeled, cored, cut into variable-sized pieces
1 teaspoon lemon zest
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon cardamom

Topping Ingredients:
1/2 cup almond meal/flour
1/2 cup finely shredded unsweetened coconut
1/2 cup coconut flour
1/3 cup melted butter, organic, grass-fed
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon allspice
3 tablespoons maple syrup (or other sweetener) (optional)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Mix the apple bits, lemon zest and juice, and spices together. Place in a baking dish and put it in the oven for about 20 minutes while you mix the topping ingredients in a separate bowl: almond meal, coconut, coconut flour, syrup/sugar and spices, pour melted butter over and mix well, refrigerate until cools and the butter hardens. Remove half baked apples and crumble topping over apple mixture. Bake for another 30 minutes. If the top isn't brown, turn oven up to 400 degrees and bake another ten minutes. (I've never had to do this as it's always brown.) Cool slightly. Eat warm. Serves 2 or 1 hungry person.

The first time I tried it I used a couple tablespoons of Grade B organic maple syrup and it was way TOO SWEET. Who would have ever thought I would think something is too sweet? So the second time I tried it I didn't use any sugar and it was great. I think it depends on the type of apples. Some are so sweet you wouldn't need any sweetener, but the topping is better with a little sweetener. It's very nutty so if you are on the GAPS, AIP, or any kind of leaky-gut-healing diet, this won't work for you, but it's perfectly Paleo and without the sugar it's even Paleo-Hashimoto's. Is it just like I remember? Heck no. But it's close enough. Maybe even better!

Yum.

Chicken and Zucchini Poppers (recipe)

This recipe is perfectly Paleo-Hashimoto's. Nothing in it that's not on my diet which is a rare find! This was found on the website One Lovely Life written by a woman who's family is gluten and dairy free.

 

Ingredients:

 

1 lb. ground chicken

2 cups grated zucchini, leave peel on and grate on smallest

2 green onions, sliced

3-4 tablespoons cilantro, minced

1 clove garlic, minced

salt and pepper

3/4 teaspoon cumin (optional)

olive oil for cooking

 

Pre-heat oven at 400 degrees. Mix chicken, zucchini, onions, cilantro, garlic, salt, pepper and cumin. Drizzle and spread a bit of olive oil on a baking sheet.

 

 

 

 

Using a small scoop or heaped tablespoon and form into balls, place on baking sheet. Bake 20-25 minutes, then broil on high for 2-3 minutes until tops are brown.

 

 

 



Serve warm with guacamole, salsa or dip.

As you can see from the photos I grated my zucchini on normal and I think the pieces of zucchini were too big. And my grocery co-op was out of ground chicken so I bought ground turkey. This was a fine substitution, but I eat turkey so infrequently it had a weird, gamey taste. Later I tried the recipe with the chicken and it was better. I am trying not to use cumin since it's on my forbidden list according to my mutated genes, and the recipe was great without it, but I think it would add some pizzazz for those of you who can use cumin.

These little poppers would be a great party appetizer.

Yum.

Cauliflower Kisses (recipe)

There are lots of recipes out there using cauliflower. I've never been a big fan of cauliflower. It's not because I don't like the taste. Maybe it's the weird texture? I saw these cute little cauliflower rosettes and I thought they were so adorable I should try the recipe and maybe I would find a fun way to eat cauliflower. Or at least a tolerable way.

The recipe, from my friend's Paleo collection, was originally from Low Carb, So Simple, a website featuring "gluten-free, sugar-free and five ingredients or less". The recipe is really titled Duchess Cauliflower. I hope no one minds if I rename it. I think Cauliflower Kisses is much nicer. And they look sort of like Hershey's Kisses! Only made with something less evil and definitely healthier.

Because the recipe calls for butter, they are only Paleo rather than Paleo-Hashimoto's, but still very healthy. Perhaps the butter could be replaced with coconut oil? I don't know if they would taste as good and I'm not crazy about coconut oil. I use it in so many recipes as it is.

Ingredients:

1 lb. cauliflower
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons butter
2 large eggs
1/3 cup coconut flour
pepper (optional, the original recipe doesn't call for it, but I added it)

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.

Cook cauliflower until soft. Pour out all water and place cauliflower in a blender. Add butter and salt and puree until smooth. Cool slightly. Whisk eggs in a separate bowl, add to cauliflower, and continue to puree. Add flour and whisk to mix. Let stand ten minutes. I think this give the coconut time to expand because the mixture becomes soft and fluffy.

Line a baking pan with parchment paper or olive oil. Use a pastry bag (or like I did, a small plastic bag with a hole cut out from a corner) and pipe rosettes on the baking pan.

Bake 15 - 40 minutes depending on the size of the rosette. The tips and edges will start to brown lightly. When done the bottoms will be toasty browned like hash browns.

Serve warm. Yum.

When piping the rosettes I took more photos than necessary because I kept thinking, Boy! I hope these things taste as good as they were fun to make! Wasn't that some company's advertising saying? These didn't disappoint! REALLY FUN TO EAT. They were really fluffy and yummy. It was all I could do to stop eating especially since they were bite-sized, but fortunately, cauliflower is very filling.

Posing for photograph, then popped it in my mouth!

 

Cauliflower is also a goitrogenic food, in other words, it suppresses thyroid function. This is not a good effect for people who have low-functioning thyroid. Some don't believe this is much of an issue and the benefits of goitrogens outweigh the warnings, but many suggest people with symptoms of hypothyroidism should limit their intake of goitrogens. Examples of goitrogenic foods include broccoli, kale, Brussels sprouts, cabbage, peaches, pears, radishes, soy, spinach, strawberries, sweet potatoes, turnips among others. I am really happy to have a reason NOT to eat kale.

ENJOY!

Roasted Broccoli and Bacon (recipe)

I've been trying a lot of recipes lately. It's fun to discover new ways to eat foods. This is a fabulous way to make Brussels sprouts, and most importantly, EASY! My Paleo-recipe-collecting friend had this in her files from the Nom Nom Paleo website. Pork isn't on the Hashimoto's diet, but it is fine for Paleo and gluten-free meals.

 

 

 

Ingredients:

1 1/2 lbs. Brussels sprouts
2-3 tablespoons of olive oil, or fat of choice
salt and pepper
4 bacon slices, cut into small pieces
balsamic vinegar, aged (optional)

Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees.

Wash Brussels sprouts, trim off ends, and cut in half. Place in a bowl and toss with salt and pepper and oil. Spread on baking sheet with raw bacon pieces. Bake for 15 minutes and flip. Bake another 15 minutes until done.

When they are ready to eat, sprinkle aged balsamic vinegar on them for a tangy seasoning. I didn't have any balsamic vinegar and they tasted great without.

Use broccoli or cauliflower instead of Brussels sprouts.

Yum.

Merry Christmas to Me!

When the holidays come around I can sometimes start feeling really sorry for myself cooped up all alone out in the middle of nowhere imagining the rest of the world going to parties, family gatherings, and eating a massive amount of health-destroying foods. Yummy, sweet, chocolaty foods dripping with frosting and whipped cream loaded with preservatives, food colorings, and additives. Yum! Even without tasty holiday treats, I celebrate the season with Christmas music, make a wreath, and have a fine time. Pre-MCS I used to spend the month of December spreading cheer by making and delivering cookies to friends and family. I don't do that anymore. It's too tempting. This year I decided to find something yummy and sweet to give the junk man at the city dump who puts up with me showing up once every two weeks to scrounge for used house parts. He rarely has anything for me, but every now and then I score.

Last time I was there I spied a really cool wood frame hanging on the wall in the dump station. I asked him why it was hanging there and he said, "Oh, just to decorate the place." I didn't burst out laughing. I'm sure he doesn't even notice the putrid smell of rotting garbage all around him. He gave me the frame. Maybe I could use it for a window frame? I've also considered collecting old wood picture frames, paint them, add a mirror, and sell them. Someday. So I got my new-old frame home, cleaned all the dust and grime off it and surprise!, it's REALLY NICE!

I'm not even sure I want to paint it now! So I felt incredibly grateful and thought I should take him some holiday treats to show my appreciation in hopes he will feel more motivated to save me house parts.

Of course, this means I get to go shopping for Christmas treats! I initially thought I would try to find some homemade-type cookies. There was no way I was going to bake them as I wasn't sure I could resist tasting and I don't imagine most people would care for gluten-free products. Instead I headed to a couple bakeries. Most of them had pre-packaged type cookies and desserts that didn't look very edible. Then I found a bakery that made these adorable cupcakes!

I apologize for the lack of photo quality as I photographed them through the plastic protective containers. I don't want to mess them up. It was bad enough they started melting in my van on the way home. I was so excited to buy treats, even if I wasn't buying them for me, I couldn't stop at cupcakes, and bought one magnificently decorated double-fudge brownie. He is a lucky junk man.

So in light of all this temptation on the premises, I decided I needed to treat myself to something kind of bad, but relatively healthy.

My friend, Urfa, collects Paleo recipes and she highly recommended one for Paleo-style pumpkin pie. I wasn't confident as my gluten-free baking skills are so embarrassingly poor, but I jumped in there anyway. It's easy, too. Unfortunately, it does use dates as the sweetener which is a problem since any kind of sweetener is not on my diet. It amazes me a year ago I was woofing down a whole bag of dates in one sitting before I realized they were causing a lot of my fatigue. At least in a recipe mixed with other less sweet ingredients, the effect won't be as bad. They also have a tiny amount of organic maple syrup, an ingredient also not on my diet but I know it's filled with vitamins so I'm less inclined to worry about effects. Besides I need to do something to celebrate the holidays and at this point, nothing is going to stop me! (Did I make a good case for cheating?) Here is the recipe:

PALEO PUMPKIN PIE

1 can organic pumpkin
1 can organic coconut milk, full-fat
4 egg yolks (or two whole eggs)
4-6 dates, soaked in water and pitted
1 T. organic, Grade B maple syrup
pumpkin pie spice: cinnamon, allspice, ginger, cloves, nutmeg

Throw it all in a blender and mix. Place in little bowls and bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour.

Cool. In fact, cool for 24 hours for best results. It's really so incredibly easy. If you wanted to do make this recipe properly,  you could buy a big organic pumpkin, skin it, chop it up, boil it to mush thereby avoiding a canned product, but that is a whole lot of work and pumpkins have pretty much disappeared for the season. And instead of canned coconut milk, I've come across recipes making the milk out of dried coconut flakes. It's a whole lot of extra work, but probably healthier. More Paleo as canned goods are definitely processed goods.

AMAZINGLY SCRUMPTIOUS. Notice they don't have a crust. There are some Paleo/gluten-free crust recipes, but I haven't tried them as I don't want to get addicted to anything too devilish. I figure the dates are bad enough.

I chalk this whole experience up to outstanding willpower. Bring on the cupcakes and brownies and waft them under my nose. I don't care. I'll eat Paleo Pumpkin Pie instead!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO EVERYONE!

Habanero Hell Fires, or Jerk Chicken (recipe)

I found this Jerk Chicken recipe and was reminded of the good ole days when free feasting at awesome restaurants was still allowed. The ingredients were all on my diet so I thought I'd give it a try. I need some spicy chicken in my life.

As I'm throwing everything together the night before, I start questioning the Paleo diet. Spices? Aren't they considered processed?  Dried, blended, pummeled and contained seems like processing to me, but Paleo people use them all the time. I also read vinegar and salt are NOT Paleo. That makes sense, even though I've been using both since day one of starting this diet. But why aren't spices forbidden?

It matters not when one is attempting Jerk Chicken as without spices it would just be plain chicken which is rather boring. I do this diet for health so as long as the foods are on my diet, it doesn't matter to me if it's strictly Paleo or not. I like a new and exciting recipe.

The recipe calls for habanero peppers. I once had an Ecuadorean co-worker who would bring habanero-laced potluck dishes to work.  Full of cultural pride, she warned me they were the hottest pepper on the planet. The food she shared was superb so I've always had a special place in my heart for habaneros.

I've never had a problem cutting peppers or handling their seeds with bare hands until about a year ago. I sliced up a jalapeno and all was fine...at first. About thirty minutes later I made the mistake of scratching my nose. My nose started burning spreading to my sinuses, eyes and mouth. Then out of the blue my hands started burning with such intensity I thought they would fall off! The pain didn't stop until some time during the middle of the night.

Since that experience I always wear gloves while handling hot peppers. These habaneros were so strong I could feel the heat through the gloves. While cleaning up I felt a slight twinge of burning in one eye. Why? My hands weren't near my eye! This worried me. All of a sudden I felt unprepared. What have I done? I diced and seeded them on the counter, using knives, and put them in my blender. How do I clean this stuff without contaminating the sponge? Will it contaminate other foods with the oils? Should I never, ever remove my gloves?

I got online and read too many habanero hell stories, including stories of how the mist of habanero oil floating through the air can get into the eye! Few people had solutions for relief, but finally I began seeing some remedies. Ammonia, yellow mustard, and olive oil worked for some people, but not all. Soap and water will spread the oil and intensify the burning. Acid neutralizes the capsicum which is what causes the burning: lemon juice, lime juice or VINEGAR. How many thousands of uses does vinegar have??? I ran for the vinegar and nearly used a whole gallon to sterilize the counter tops, bowls, knives, sponges, sink, and blender. I was so afraid I washed everything down three times! Success! It worked. I'm still afraid of the garbage where the habanero seeds are waiting.

I also read some people have problems eating hot peppers although if one has enough stomach acid, that natural acid will neutralize the capsicum just like vinegar. Not enough stomach acid, drink vinegar or lemon juice. An alternative is drinking milk or eating a tablespoon of olive oil, but this doesn't work for everyone. There is a reason hot and spicy foods are often served with potatoes, rice or bread!

Jerk Chicken

Ingredients for the marinade:
2 limes, juice and zest
1/4 cup orange juice
1 tablespoon ground allspice
1/2 tablespoon ground nutmeg
1 teaspoon paprika
1/2 tablespoon ground black pepper
1/2 tablespoon salt
1/2 medium onion, diced
1/2 bunch green onions, white and green parts, sliced
2 cloves garlic
1 to 1 1/2 habaneros, seeded (depending on your level of courage)
2 tablespoons honey or other sweetener
2 tablespoons fresh thyme leaves
1 1/2 inch piece of fresh ginger, peeled and grated
1/4 cup olive oil

The day before, mix all these ingredients together in a blender until it is a smooth paste. I find fresh thyme leaves difficult. Removing teeny little leaves off a teeny little stem tries my patience. However, I have six thyme bushes and rarely use this herb so this was an opportunity. Honey isn't on my diet but this recipe has a hot-tangy-sweet taste so some kind of sweetener is appropriate for those of you who aren't worried about blood sugar levels. The orange juice might be enough sweetness.

 

Take one chicken and butterfly it OR buy a bunch of chicken pieces, about two pounds worth. Put it in a large bowl and place the marinade sauce over it, mixing it up. Cover and place bowl in the refrigerator overnight.

Next day:
Remove chicken with sauce from the refrigerator and let sit to room temperature for one hour.

Preheat oven 375 degrees. Place chicken on a rack on top of a sheet pan or use a broiler pan. Spoon some extra marinade on the pieces and season with another 2 teaspoons of allspice and sprinkle with salt. Bake 50-60 minutes. Remove from oven and let rest 15 minutes before serving.

Mmmmm...perfectly spicy. The marinade sauce gets crispy and blackish. I ate mine with Kabocha squash. It took me a while to get brave enough to touch the chicken and until then I used a fork and knife to maneuver it.

Yum.

Beef Stew (Recipe)

 

Today I made traditional beef stew by mixing and tweaking some recipes I found online.

 

 

 

 

 

Ingredients, organic, healthy and natural:

 

 

3 lbs. stew meat, cut up into 1 inch chunks

3 tablespoons olive oil

2 teaspoon salt

1 tablespoon pepper

 

2 onions, chopped

3 cloves of garlic, chopped

 

2 cups of water

 

1-2 bay leaves

1/2 teaspoon paprika

dash of allspice or cloves

 

3 large carrots, chopped

3 ribs of celery, chopped

1 cup of squash, chopped

 

parsley for garnish or just add it to the pot for some greenery (optional)

 

Brown stew meat on all sides in olive oil. Remove and set aside. Add onions and garlic to pan and sauté until soft. Add meat and 2 cups of water. Bring to boil and simmer for one hour.

 

Add carrots, celery and squash and simmer for another 30 minutes.

 

Serve.

 

You know, it's hard to get excited about beef stew after eating Moroccan Lamb Stew! (I've been experimenting and tweaking that lamb recipe every time I make it and I think I have perfected it so check it out again!) Beef stew was good, but not exciting. Maybe because I excluded all the ingredients not on my Paleo-Hashimoto's-MCS diet? No sugar, no Worcestershire sauce, no flour (to thicken the sauce), no red wine, and no potatoes. I remember when I was little the best part was the potatoes. I think as an adult the best part would have been the wine!

 

If anyone has any suggestions on how to make this tantalizing so it's something I might want to crave, let me know!

 

Yum!

 

 



Beef: It's What's For Dinner, Pot Roast (Recipe)

I grew up on a farm with lots of livestock, including cattle.

 

Every year my dad would buy one or two sweet baby calves and they'd spend a few years getting fat on grass, hay, apples and hazelnuts. After a while the cows started having calves and we ended up with a good-sized herd on our small, three acre farm.


Candy Cow and Aries
 

They all had names: Skippy, Charger, Zeus, Apollo, Aries, Reddy, Echo, Bonnie, and Candy Cow are the names I remember. (I didn't name Candy Cow, my niece did. I was not impressed.)

Zeus, the Bad-Ass Bull
I named him Jupiter after the Roman God, but my dad couldn't get it right and kept calling him Jumper which I thought was so indignant for such a magnificent bull. Finally I said, "Just call him Zeus, dad! Same god only Greek." My dad did much better with Zeus.

 

Then every other year the butcher would arrive with his shot gun and murder them out in the backyard. It was gruesome. Gallons of blood and piles of body parts. Sad, but at the same time fascinating. Regardless of the naming ritual, we learned quickly not to get too attached. They were food. You want a hamburger? Get used to it. At least we knew exactly from where our food came. I think if more people took tours through factory farms, there would be more vegetarians. Our cows were healthy, happy and not mistreated. Well, usually not mistreated.

 

Skippy was my first calf. When he was tiny he'd follow me around the field skipping and jumping around me, hence his name. He got so big his back came up to my shoulder and his playful skipping got really dangerous. Not so cute anymore, but still sweet and friendly, unlike Charger who earned his name even as a calf.

Skippy and Charger

One day Skippy escaped through the fence when no one was home. My dad found him in the garden gorging on the veggies. He tried chasing Skippy out of the garden, but Skippy decided he didn't want to leave. He found snack paradise. And being twice the size of my dad, he had no fear so he skipped playfully (galloped clumsily) in circles around my dad rototilling all the plants up with his hooves pausing every so often to take a nibble of a plant. Frustrated and furious at the destruction of our whole garden, my dad grabbed his gun and shot Skippy in the butt. Skippy high-tailed it outta there although he didn't have much of a tail left. The vet visited later that day, scowled at my dad, and assured us Skippy would live another year or at least until the next butchering season. We always knew when we were eating "Skippy Burgers"...we'd find buckshot in every bite.

 

We grew up on steaks, hamburgers, meatloaf, beef stew, French dip, beef burritos and pot roast and took for granted the nightly gourmet meals of organic, grass-fed, steroid-free beef. As an adult, I'd order anything but steak in restaurants even when it was the menu specialty. I would have been happy to never see another steak in my lifetime. Other than hamburger I've rarely eaten beef let alone prepared it. According to the book Eat Right for Your Blood Type by Peter D'Adamo my body should love beef. For the Paleo diet, I've been eating hamburger, but I'm getting really sick of hamburger no matter how many ways I've tried to camouflage it. I need some variety to keep me from going crazy with food boredom so I decided to branch out to other cuts of beef. Today I'm experimenting with pot roast. I've never made pot roast in my adult life! I remember it being really good. Hopefully my memories aren't wrong.




Organic ingredients needed:

1 pot roast (preferably grass-fed, steroid-free, antibiotic-free)
1 tablespoon ground pepper
2 teaspoons sea salt
pinch of cayenne
1/4 cup olive oil
1 clove garlic, diced
1 teaspoon of fresh ginger, diced
1 onion, chopped
4 carrots, chopped
2 celery stalks, chopped (optional)
bay leaf
1 sprig rosemary or thyme  or oregano or one of each (you choose)
Kabocha squash, or other squash (optional)

Rub pepper, salt and cayenne into the pot roast.

Heat olive oil in large pan, sear pot roast on medium-high heat on all sides, remove. Put pot roast in baking pan or Dutch oven with fresh herbs and water about 1/2 way up the side of the roast. Add the onions, carrots, celery, and garlic to pot with the olive oil, sear quickly, remove, and add all of it to baking dish with pot roast. Cover with tight lid. Bake at 290 degrees until meat is very tender. Total baking time: about 3 1/2 hours for 3 lb. pot roast and 4 - 4 1/2 hours for 4 lb. pot roast.

 

 



I was going to add some squash as a replacement for potatoes, but forgot so I baked it separately. Next time I'll add the squash with the carrots and onions to the baking dish and see how that goes.

UPDATE: It was wonderful. Very tender, yummy meat.

I look forward to breakfast leftovers!

Yum!

Echo (one day old)
We ate him...eventually.

The Un-Ice Cream, or Banana Cream (Recipe)

This is a dessert for all you cavemen and cavewomen out there who are not eating sugar. Unfortunately, bananas are too high on the glycemic index for the Hashimoto's people. 

Banana Cream with Raspberries

My Banana Cream recipe is a good transition if you are trying to not eat sugar, but want something sweet, especially if you are having a tough time giving up the sweet stuff. I suppose if you love ice cream, you might not see the similiarities, but for someone like me who rarely ate ice cream, this frozen banana dessert is the perfect substitute.

Ingredients:

1 1/2 to 2 bananas, peeled

1/4 cup coconut milk (full-fat)

1/4 cup water (optional)

1/2 cup (more or less) frozen berries of any kind (optional for flavors)

First, take peeled bananas, cut them into bite-sized pieces and freeze them. I freeze several bananas at a time in a big container. This is a great way to save bananas that are getting over ripe and you don't have time to eat them all or make something with them. Bite-sized pieces makes them easier to blend, too. Don't leave them in the freezer for a long time (more than a month?) or they turn brown and mushy even while frozen. Use them when they are still white and they'll even look like ice cream all whipped up.

In a blender, add 1/4 coconut milk, 2 frozen bananas cut in small pieces, and 1/2 cup or more of berries. My favorite are blueberries, but strawberries are good, too. Liquify until smooth. You may need to stop the blender, pushing the fruit to the bottom, loosen it up so it all gets a chance to evenly whip. It should be smooth like soft ice cream when finished.

If it seems too thick because the bananas are getting stuck in the blender blades, add some water, but not too much or it'll get too thin.

The Un-Ice Cream Dessert

Put in bowl.  Eat. Yum.


I ate this for the first two months of the gluten-, sugar-, dairy-free diet, then stopped when I finally realized bananas were too high in natural sugar. Now that I'm not eating bananas,  I'm not experiencing sugar crashes or headaches which are common for people with Hashimoto's indicating blood sugar issues.