Hiking

I walk all the time at least once if not twice a day. Sometimes I go to other towns and locations and walk with friends, but mostly I walk in my neighborhood or in my town alone. Walking is a low-intensity exercise good for Hashimoto's and chemical sensitivity. It doesn't incite an autoimmune attack and gets me out in the fresh air. The only time I don't walk is if it could be dangerous: ice, monsoon winds or air pollution caused by any number of sources. Where I live the streets and neighborhoods are fairly flat. I've gotten quite bored with it so I expanded my horizons and headed for the hills!

I live in logging country so my little town is surrounded by forest. For miles and miles one can see rolling hills of greenery. It's quite lovely and the air is amazingly clean.

Humans have left their mark on this primaeval wilderness so the wilds are etched with logging roads that go for miles. They start at the highway, usually blocked by a large metal security gate, and head straight up the hill.

There are two kinds of roads. The first is graveled, well-used by logging trucks, maintenance trucks, property owners, and radio tower operators and marked with numbers at intersections. The second road style is grassy with tire ruts with off-shoots of overgrown ex-roads covered with grass, shrubs and sometimes blocked with sapling trees. I think it would be easy to get lost as these roads spider-web for miles. I've made many trips over the years to walk, pick berries, gather boulders (for my garden), or just escape.

My first (recent) foray into the wilderness I hiked only a half a mile, stopping about ten times to catch my breath and rest my tired leg muscles. It's a steady incline so it takes some stamina. I am now  capable of walking straight up the hill for a mile or more without stopping. I still breathe hard and wonder if the exercise is too intense, but I know it's good for my COVID-scarred lungs, builds bones and strengthens muscles. I also read walking in woods is a dose of really good natural probiotics from all the decomposing material causing healthy microbacteria floating in the air.

I've always been a little hesitant to walk the logging roads. There are wild animals in the woods! Cougars, coyotes, and bears, especially during the spring when the bears have little bears and can get very protective of their cubs. However, I'm more afraid of logging trucks than wildlife. And men....I'm more afraid of men than any animal or truck!

One of the logging company maintenance men was at one of the gates one day as I arrived and we began talking about the roads. He warned me of a homeless man who was a bit hostile and perhaps mentally ill. The logging company holds a lottery every year so that 300 people can get passes that cost $325 for the year. This gives them keys for gate access and they are able to hunt, fish, train search and rescue dogs, forage for food, camp, or live in vans up in the wilderness. 

The week before I spoke with the maintenance guy I did hike past a man with a backpack coming down the hill on one of the little used grassy logging roads. I said, "Good morning." He replied, "Good morning, how are you?" I said, "I am wonderful. How are you? He said enthusiastically, "I am blessed by the Lord!" as he kept walking. Now I do think Christianity is a mental illness, but he seemed harmless enough. The maintenance man did admit he gave the homeless man a trespassing ticket for not having a pass...yeah, that might have made him hostile.

Still, as a precaution against mentally ill or bad behaving men, unmanaged dogs, angry mama bears, or hungry cougars, I take a stun gun with me. On occasion I hit the button by accident or even lean on it and it scares the beejeebies out of me. I've only used it once and that was on a loudly buzzing insect that circled me for about 100 feet and it worked just by pointing it. From what I understand it might pause a bear rather than scare it away so I have to aim for the snout or if the bear is gnawing on my arm or leg, hit her in the mouth. I am hoping it would annihilate a bad man or biting dog. I kind of look forward to trying it out!

Most of the roads are lined with thick forest so they offer little in the way of scenery, but if I climb high enough there are views of the valley and of the town where I live. I love all the green! It amazes me and although I've lived in this area of the country for most of my life, I don't take it for granted.

Nature is so amazingly beautiful.

Yatna the Jogger

I haven't been able to jog for years since the designs of most running shoes (or any shoe) cut into the nerves on the top of my feet crippling me with pain. Heck, for too many years simple walking was limited and long distance walking was out of the question. For the last ten years I have been using a pair of high quality, incredibly stiff-soled, heavy leather Italian hiking boots for walking. They worked although lugging around a pound of extra weight on each foot did not make me fleet of foot. It was definitely a workout. Unfortunately, those trusty hiking boots are wearing out. Best shoes I've ever owned.

 

New Balance FINALLY redesigned their running shoes and removed the seams on the toe tops! Hooray! It took me about a month to get used to them since my feet were not accustomed to bending while walking after years of stiff-soled shoes. Now when I go for a walk I feel like I'm flying!

 

What about jogging? If I'm speed-walking to the point of flying, maybe I can jog? I started jogging in high school before it was fashionable. Through college and career I jogged for stress relief. It's been a LONG time and my memories of pulled muscles, over-worked tendons, and blown knees did not give me confidence. Can I jog? Really?

This is where I summoned the spirit of the courageous Yatna, my brave menopausal alter ego who knows no bounds and has no fear.

YES! YOU CAN DO IT!

So this morning I decided to start slowly. I stretched for an extraordinary long time and then I jogged for about 10-20 feet every other block alternating with more stretching. My muscles would start screaming as I neared 20 feet. I worried about the obvious jarring of my joints running on hard concrete and I watched carefully where I was going so I wouldn't twist or sprain my ankle. I don't want to do that again. The memories are still painfully fresh. Everything went fine. I kept reassuring myself if those weight-loss contestants on The Biggest Loser can jog and be safe, so can I!

 

Hooray! This feels like I have a piece of my old life back!

 

Wish me luck!

When is the next marathon???

Note to anyone who thinks this is a good idea: One episode of gentle jogging and I ended up with incredibly painful plantar fasciitis for about six months. I had to do all kinds of stretching of the calves and leg muscles and it finally went away. Jogging triggered some kind of massive inflammation I was not prepared for, however, I have since read tart cherry juice is a wonderful anti-inflammatory and often prevents plantar fasciitis if one has limited leg/foot movement, for instance, confined in a cast or boot.

New FREEBIE Toy!

There is a television commercial I've been seeing lately that features a woman bouncing on a trampoline. I've been entertaining the thought of buying a trampoline for my backyard so I can bounce around like a crazy person. It just sounds like a fun thing to do except I think I'd have to take it apart and store it in the garage for ten months out of the year as I can't imagine bouncing around in the rain to be much fun. And of course, a trampoline costs anywhere from $200 to $600.

As I'm contemplating this frivolity, someone on Freecycle advertises a trampoline! I said, YES, I WANT IT! before I asked, How big is it?  It's a little one, what they call a "rebounder" for exercise. I've always wanted one of these, too, as you can run in place but there is little shock to your joints.

So now I get to bounce around in my spare time and I hope it will provide me with some extra exercise. I like it a lot more than the treadmill which demands a whole lot of energy to make it go. With the rebounder I just have to jump on and march in place and it's good to go although I do try to stretch a little before I jump on. My muscles have atrophied with so little exercise I fear I will pull something if I'm not careful. There are all kinds of videos online to watch how skinny people use them for exercising. So fun.

I'm creating a freebie workout center for myself. Self-gifting is wonderful, especially when it's free.

Strategies for Despair

It's not easy when it feels like the world is attacking us. We feel lousy, we wonder how we will ever survive, and we question whether we really want to live a life when we feel so physically miserable, depressed, alone, and hopeless. Most of us have felt this way at some point in our chemical sensitivity journey. If we share some of the strategies that have gotten us through tough times, it may help those who are currently struggling. What do you do to keep your spirits up, your attitudes positive, and your hope alive?

Here are some things I have done:

Reduce the Load Depression is a symptom of chemical poisoning. The chemicals imbalance our brains making us feel irrational and hopeless. I did everything possible to reduce the chemical load in my system by avoiding chemicals and detoxing poisons. In reducing the load, I began to feel better.

Check Food Allergies Food allergies can do a number on your brain. When I gave up wheat and tomatoes, within a week I had this very bizarre feeling of contentment wash over me. It was astounding. The most common food allergies are: wheat, dairy, rice, soy, shellfish, peanuts, strawberries, and nightshades. Some of these allergens have delayed reactions so if you do an elimination test to determine your response, be sure to give each food at least a two-day reaction time. As I've mentioned before, caffeine is a mood killer for me: chocolate, coffee, tea.

Live in the Moment I tend to be a global thinker. This means I can take a moment in time expand it to include the world and visualize this moment extending far into future. I could see the horror of the rest of my life, never to improve, misery compounded, and getting worse for the next fifty years. Doom. Gloom. It helped to step back from all the negativity and ask every now and then, "How do I feel right now at this very moment?" Ninety-nine percent of the time, I felt fine and that made me feel better. I would relax. Even if I wasn't feeling physically great there were good things happening: food in the fridge, roof over my head, car still running, able to walk. Life changes. How many of us knew even ten years ago our lives would be like this? Who is to say they will be like this in the next twenty years? Ten years? Five years? What is that saying? The only thing constant is change. So the only thing that counts is right this second. Heck, a plane could hit my house in the next minute. Why worry too much about the future?

Find Perspective Global thinking has its advantages. Life is bigger than my meager existence.

The transition from living a normal life to accepting chemical sensitivity is the most difficult phase. We watch our neighbors doing things we wish we could do; we listen to our friends talk about their lives and we feel cheated. Envy is debilitating and creates a cycle of self-pity and despair. As our isolation grows, we become self-absorbed, seeing only our situation and forgetting there is a whole world full of suffering. Chemically sensitive people always compare themselves to their former lives, when in fact, they really should be comparing their situation within the bigger picture.  There are far more situations way worse than being chemically sensitive.

I read Holocaust survivor books. Compared to their stories, my life is exceptionally wonderful. I've never been tortured, starved, used for medical experiments, or watched my children slaughtered. I've never been forced to remove all my clothes and lay on top of a mountain of dead people waiting for my turn to be executed. So many of these Jewish people survived against all odds. When I read these stories I think what am I whining about? I've got it easy! Warning: Holocaust survivor stories will give you nightmares and imprint on your brain images you wish you could unread.

I just read a book on the Hatfield-McCoy Feud. I can't imagine living in constant fear that my neighbors are going to kill me or my children. I don't live in a country at war either, and I am not living with domestic violence.

Another option is to read about all the other health conditions far worse than ours and there are many.  I don't know how many times I've said I am thankful I don't have that.

OK, maybe I read too much, but it gives me perspective. I don't live alone in this world and all my experiences are relative to everyone else's. Even those who are experiencing situations you might consider way worse than yours, they are still coping and many of them continue to live with hope.  Be grateful for what you have. Count your blessings.

Practice The Secret If you don't know what this is, find a copy of the video in your local library. The book is by Rhonda Byrne and she narrates the video. I preferred the video for inspiration. It's all about being grateful for what you have, asking for what you want, and maintaining a positive attitude. It is said as soon as you know about it, suddenly you start meeting people or hearing about others who are doing it. It's true. All that gratitude is a bit overwhelming at first. It feels like you are lying. But the more you do it, the better it feels. (This is a rare case when more is better!)

Live in a Fantasy World  This is very much related to the Secret, a mix of meditation and visualization. Lie, lie, lie to your brain. Be positive. Imagine another life. Visualize wonderful things. This isn't "I wish I could..., I wish I was..." or you'll just start feeling sorry for yourself.  Immerse yourself in another life and dream.

Be an Activist When I first became chemically sensitive, I wanted to understand, then I wanted to share my understanding because I was convinced if people were educated, the world would change and the newly enlightened would stop poisoning me. Being busy made me feel like I was doing something positive for myself. A way to move forward. I researched, followed blogs, wrote articles, wrote letters to politicians, wrote letters to Oprah (HA! I did!), joined support groups, talked with anyone who would listen, and searched for people who shared my experiences. I became a home-bound activist. Some people start their own MCS blogs or websites so they can share all the information they've been gathering. Having a blog or website is very time consuming, but it does just that - it consumes you. Being busy made me feel productive. If you aren't part of the solution, you are part of the problem. I was determined to be part of the solution. Being bored gave me too much time to think about how miserable I felt.

Exercise in Fresh Air  This is really hard if you feel lousy, but if you have just a little energy exercise raises your endorphins and makes you feel good. I used to go to a deserted beach and walk barefoot in sand while breathing in the fresh air. I collected shells and looked at sea life. Other times I'd take myself to a large, deserted park during the week. Too tired to walk, I'd just sit in nature admiring the beauty of it all. I always made sure to find some place with the cleanest air possible so I could breathe deeply. This year I plan to have an ocean adventure at least once a month. Acknowledging the beauty in nature makes you appreciative of life.

Find Laughter  Make a point to watch television sitcoms, romantic comedy movies, and comedy routines. Read hilarious fiction, joke books, poetry, and short stories. Anything that will make you laugh out loud and feel good.  For instance, here is a comedian and her troupe of women I just discovered: Katie Goodman and Broad Comedy. I laughed so hard! Check it out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sdn3O6aaMNc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CQg9f7z9eg

Sing  Find yourself a theme song and sing it all the time. Singing is incredibly therapeutic. I don't mean you need to be able to carry a tune or perform in front of people. Just sing. If you aren't ready to sing, hum or whistle and move up to singing when you're ready. Pick a song with a good, positive message that will lift your spirits and sing it whenever you need a lift. Or in the shower, in the garage, while laying in bed or while walking. My favorite theme song: Sunny Side to Every Situation, from the musical 42nd Street. (Stay tuned for lyrics.)

Plan an Adventure  Planning a trip is always a mental consumption and computers make planning easy. Information at our fingertips. I don't mean a safe little vacation that takes no preparation. I'm talking about an adventure! Hitchhike across the USA, safari in Africa, backpacking through jungles, cycle around the world, sail across an ocean. The planning alone would take your mind off everyday life. Pre-MCS, I traveled a lot. I know I can no longer get on a plane and if I think about it too much I feel pathetically sorry for myself.  But I think I figured out a way to get to Europe by driving! This gives me hope and makes me very excited!

Help Others This isn't always easy when we can't be around other people who might poison us.  Do things within your limits. Volunteer from home, contribute to support groups and blogs, make gifts for people, cook for people who can't cook for themselves, sew clothes for foster children or children in third world countries. Whatever your strengths or hobbies are, volunteer them. I used to do all kinds of things for my full-time working, fragrance-free friends. Once I cut a friend's squares for quilting; another I wrapped all her Christmas gifts for her, and another I packed her whole house for moving. I've always thought about volunteering for a help line. Many help lines you can do from your own phone. Helping others gives life a feeling of satisfaction and purpose.

Find Support Do you have family and/or friends who are understanding? Not everyone has support at home or at their jobs. Find people who will support you. Surround yourself with positive spirits. At least 15-17% of the population have multiple chemical sensitivity. That's a whole lot of us with a whole lot of understanding. Can't find support? Start your own support group online or in your own area.  Or become your own pen pal. Write letters to an imaginary friend and imagine how they would counsel you. Write back to yourself and send it in the mail. Send yourself some cards and flowers while you're at it! I always thought it would be fun to start a letter writing support group. Letter writing is a lost art. Wouldn't it be fun to get cards and letters in the mail telling us to keep up the fight?

These ideas won't work for everyone, but hopefully they will inspire you to find what motivates and makes you happy. 

Make a list of all the things that make you happy.

Brainstorm a list of all the activities you can do to stay positive.

Do you have strategies for despair you'd like to share?