The Beach That Was...

There are too many undesirable dogs in my neighborhood that make walking anything but pleasurable so I've been going to the beach more often than usual. It's very peaceful at the ocean especially when no one is there. The air is so refreshing and clean. Lately I've been arriving right when the tide is at its highest. There have been days the waves are so violent and the water rushing so madly about, I turn right around and head back home. This was one of those days.

See that wave coming toward me in the above photo? It doesn't look that ominous in this photo but it was at least two feet high, moving at least twenty miles and hour, and coming from the side before I realized it. I literally started running for my life.

With all the "Unstable Sand" warning signs, and the water clear up to the roads in some places, I wasn't going to take any chances.

The next day I arrived again at high tide and noticed the cove with all the destroyed houses had waves crashing right up to the trees cutting off all access to the rest of the beach. I wondered what damage all this bad weather had done since last spring when I took the last photos. Did the yellow house bite the dust (sand)? Was it still standing? Today, however, I checked the tide levels before I left and went when the water would be at its lowest.

This might be what's left of the yellow house. I can't really tell. It has some yellow on it?

Or this?

Hmmm...maybe this?

This is interesting. I'm counting 17 of these giant tires and I assume someone must have owned a semi-truck with 18 wheels? These are scattered all over. Along with other car parts and vehicle accessories that must have dropped off when the ground gave away.

It makes me wonder how this affects the environment. It doesn't look like anyone made much of an effort to take away their belongings and garbage. I don't know if any of these people have received money for all this damage or if it's just considered a natural phenomenon (tough luck), but you'd think someone would attempt to protect the environment by having these houses, garages, sheds and their contents removed before they take the plunge. That's a lot of garbage floating around and lying all over.

Granted, if I were one of these home owners and just lost everything, I wouldn't want to also be responsible for the money or effort it would take to remove it. Maybe these people can't afford it? There was one guy with a pick-up scavenging for building materials. As I mentioned before, there is an artist in town who creates art from the house wood from this beach. I wonder what the legalities of this are? If the house falls off the cliff, don't the owners still own it? Can people just take it or do they need permission?

Next to take the dive:

 

 

There are a lot of campers and trailers along this area. I assume these are the owners of the homes prepared with alternative living arrangements for as long as some land is left. Do they just drive away when there is no place to park?

 

 

 

 

 

This guy is determined to protect his house and he's out there rearranging his rock moat with big machinery. How many people can say they have a rock moat protecting their house? Does he have to rearrange after every high tide?  Is it working? I've seen the waves crashing. I wouldn't want to be in that little house during high tide!

 

 

 

It looks like he's the only one left on his original property jutting way out from the eroding beach far out beyond what is left of land with water almost totally surrounding him.

 

See him on the end of the point to the right?

 

Will his house end up being on a tiny island? With such a tiny house, is all this work and expense worth it? Wouldn't it be more cost effective to just move the house? Maybe he can't? Or maybe he's just stubborn and thinks he can win fighting Mother Nature?

 

And if I thought all this wasn't crazy enough, I look to my right and there is a guy surfing in freezing water!

 

 

 I am very grateful to live near the ocean, but not so close that it will take my house away. Yet. Who knows when the next tsunami will be? 

Carrot Cake (recipe)

I found a Paleo recipe for carrot cake. It does use a sweetener so it's not Hashimoto's, but it is gluten and grain free. I was really afraid it would end up dry and tasteless, but it tastes great even without cream cheese frosting!

Grade B raw, organic maple syrup has more fiber, nutrients and is less addictive than white, granulated sugar. It also has a slightly lower glycemic index value, but it tastes sweeter. However, like sugar, if you eat a lot of it, it will cause tooth decay, weight gain, blood sugar issues, and other types of sugar-related health issues. For recipe conversions from sugar to maple syrup, it is suggested to use about half the amount called for (1 cup to 1/2 cup), and due to the extra liquid of the syrup, if possible, reduce the liquid in the recipe 3 tablespoons per one cup. Also, the oven temperature should be reduced by 25 degrees since maple syrup caramelizes at a lower temperature than sugar. Fortunately, I found a recipe that did all the hard work for me!

Unfortunately, I shouldn't be eating it at all but Christmas brings out the worst in me. Thankfully the holiday season lasts a short time and a small amount of organic maple syrup is much better than a huge amount of processed sugar. (I can justify anything!)



Ingredients:

4 large eggs, room temperature
1/2 cup maple syrup
1/4 cup coconut oil, melted
1/2 teaspoon vanilla

1/2 cup coconut flour, sifted
1 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon powdered ginger
1/4 teaspoon sea salt

1 1/4 finely cup shredded carrots
1/4 cup raisins or pecans or both (I put both)

Combine the first four ingredients in a bowl and mix. Add dry ingredients, keep mixing. Fold in carrots and raisins or pecans. Place batter in smallish lined or greased baking dish and bake at 350 degrees for about 20-25 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. For cupcakes, bake only 18-20 minutes.

Yum.

Ocean Gifts for Christmas

I went to the ocean for a holiday stroll and came home with presents:

I usually don't collect scallop shells, there were so many and different shades I couldn't resist. I especially like the striped shells.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Where, Oh, Where is My Master Gardener?

Peter used to eat the leaves in the yard so there wasn't much for me to rake and clean. Not any more! It's my job now.

Leaves all over. What a mess!

Although Peter was a worrisome pain-in-my-butt at times, I miss him when I'm out in the garden and the yard feels really empty without him. And, as a leaf muncher he was really helpful.

 

 

There is a rabbit loose in the neighborhood. He looks like Peter only smaller. I'm thinking someone got a baby bunny for Easter and when it grew up, they got tired of him, and let him loose. I've had two neighbors stop me and ask if my rabbit escaped. One woman who has a bad habit of letting her dog run loose worried something would kill it. I'm sure you can imagine my response.... I think everyone would like it if I would adopt the little bunny, but no way do I want the responsibility and worry of another pet. However, it makes me happy to see him hopping around. I am hoping he will find his way in my yard and eat the leaves for me.

 

Here's a great video that somehow reminds me of the happiness that was once Peter. Even though it's a dog...

 

Crazy ass dog. The definition of pure joy.

Apple Crisp (recipe)

I love Apple Crisp. I think it was the first recipe I ever followed and the one I made most often over the years. I still have the card that was given to us in my 8th grade junior high home economics class. This card calls it "Apple Cobbler" but we always called it "Apple Crisp". The justification was cobblers were made with something more like pie crust, and crisp was the crumbly bits on the top. I suppose some call it "Apple Crumble" and the name depends on regional traditions.

I have no idea why I felt the need to save this card, but when it came to throwing away all my old gluten/sugar-filled recipes, I couldn't part with it. It's part of my personal history and it's OLD. I must be sentimental. Look at the butter stains all over it? Many, many years of use. Was there ever a time when I really ate a dessert with white flour biscuit mix (!), white and brown sugar, and butter? So evil. Ahhh, the memories! Apple crisp was what we always ate in the fall when the apples on the trees were ripe.

So when I came across this Paleo-style apple crisp recipe, I thought I'd give it a try. Then I tweaked it to perfection. There are some ingredients that are NOT on the Kharrazian Hashimoto's diet, but I have no problem with any of it so for me...it's perfect.

Apple Mixture Ingredients:
2 apples, peeled, cored, cut into variable-sized pieces
1 teaspoon lemon zest
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon cardamom

Topping Ingredients:
1/2 cup almond meal/flour
1/2 cup finely shredded unsweetened coconut
1/2 cup coconut flour
1/3 cup melted butter, organic, grass-fed
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon allspice
3 tablespoons maple syrup (or other sweetener) (optional)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Mix the apple bits, lemon zest and juice, and spices together. Place in a baking dish and put it in the oven for about 20 minutes while you mix the topping ingredients in a separate bowl: almond meal, coconut, coconut flour, syrup/sugar and spices, pour melted butter over and mix well, refrigerate until cools and the butter hardens. Remove half baked apples and crumble topping over apple mixture. Bake for another 30 minutes. If the top isn't brown, turn oven up to 400 degrees and bake another ten minutes. (I've never had to do this as it's always brown.) Cool slightly. Eat warm. Serves 2 or 1 hungry person.

The first time I tried it I used a couple tablespoons of Grade B organic maple syrup and it was way TOO SWEET. Who would have ever thought I would think something is too sweet? So the second time I tried it I didn't use any sugar and it was great. I think it depends on the type of apples. Some are so sweet you wouldn't need any sweetener, but the topping is better with a little sweetener. It's very nutty so if you are on the GAPS, AIP, or any kind of leaky-gut-healing diet, this won't work for you, but it's perfectly Paleo and without the sugar it's even Paleo-Hashimoto's. Is it just like I remember? Heck no. But it's close enough. Maybe even better!

Yum.

Things I Learned This Week...

1.) Farting is good for you. It's caused by gut bacteria doing their jobs. I always thought it was a symptom of something not working right.

2.) MCS is thought to be an autoimmune response, or your body attacking the stored toxic chemicals and heavy metals in your fat and organs. Whoa! I KNEW IT! I've been saying this for years. Finally I found a doctor that agrees!

3.) Gargling makes your brain work better.

4.) Dogs are susceptible to Hashimoto's Thyroiditis because of the gluten in their chemically-saturated commercial dog food. I wonder if people know when their dog is showing symptoms or if they think he's just getting old and lazy? How sad. I can't imagine being a dog, feeling so miserable you can't move, and not being able to help yourself.

5.) Lipstick usage is connected to lupus.

6.) People with brain degeneration in the cerebellum area can feel sick from looking at patterns. They are also prone to motion sickness.

7.) Jesus was not a historical person. He's totally fiction. There is absolutely no historical documentation that he ever existed. This is mind boggling to me. Although I do believe Christianity is a outdated cult based on ignorant superstition, I always thought Jesus was a really cool rebellious dude who really lived. One theory is the Romans made him up to control the Jewish revolts of the time. Amazing what we are taught to believe as children and we accept without question as adults.

8.) Chelation should not be done by anyone with chemical sensitivities or autoimmune issues as it forces the heavy metals into your brain and may cause permanent damage. It will make you sicker. When you do get sicker, doctors will often tell you it's just your system detoxing. Nope. That's a lie. I KNEW IT! I've also been saying this for years having been an IV technician who used to administer chelation treatments in a former life. The stuff they pump into your veins smells putrid and unsafe. I'd never put it in my body no matter how many miracle cures are promised to me!

The Dying Art of Conversation, or My Abnormally Un-Social Life

I've been feeling a little crazy lately. Slightly bored, more depressed than I care to admit. Thankfully, when I stopped taking those thyroid drugs I started feeling much better, but a feeling of mundane-ness has crept into my existence. I'm really bored with life. With everything. Life feels meaningless.

I attempted to find a job of sorts. A friend of mine suggested I apply to be the part-time cook/grocery shopping assistant to a chemically sensitive man also suffering from a list of other ailments that have forced him to be home-bound and gluten-free. My friend erroneously led me to believe (OK, let's be truthful...she LIED!) he was having a hard time finding an assistant because they were all incapable of being fragrance free.

What seemed to be the perfect position and the perfect solution to my mundane-ness ended up being the interview from hell. Wow! I thought I was socially inept! This guy took it to a whole new level screaming at me every time I answered a question, responding with snarky comments every time I asked one, and micromanaging the way I spoke to him, the way I walked, how I moved, and what I touched. It was scary and I questioned if his anti-social behavior was the consequence of too much isolation. Or self-indulging entitlement? Have too many people been paid to cater to his every whim because of his illness? Will my reclusion contribute to this kind of personality disorder? Am I already as bad as he is? God, I hope not! Needless to say, I'm not that desperate for something to do and I do have enough self-respect not to want to be abused even for pay. However, turning down the job left me wallowing in disappointment. This did not help my disposition.


Then out of the blue a former acquaintance emailed me. She was the librarian at my college years ago, always kind, helpful and friendly, and she was the first person to ever buy my art. She still has a painting and a drawing of mine hanging on her wall and this made her wonder what had become of me. How joyous to re-connect with someone from the past!

We exchanged a couple emails before I panicked. I tend to write a lot. I can't be around possibly stinky people so writing from a distance is my social life. I have found some people don't like so much writing and they definitely don't like the unspoken requirement of reading it. I'm from the old-school letter writing tradition where one was taught to converse. Conversing is sharing in conversation: I talk about something; they respond with similar experiences or anecdotes. They share; I respond. I ask a question; they answer the question. They ask a question; I answer the question. This adds to the length of any writing endeavor.

Conversing, as well as letter-writing, is a lost art.  I've had several experiences with email exchanges where emailers write what seems to be some kind of personal form letter. Like a photocopied holiday letter to be sent to a couple hundred people. The email could have been written to anyone, I just happen to be the recipient. Or one of the recipients. In turn, as the recipient, I am expected to either not respond, or like the emailer, talk only about myself. Asking questions requires a person's commitment to the conversation. It's too much work and if I ask a question, it will go unanswered or I'll be told they don't have time to write just now. It's so fucking impersonal, but this is modern communication. Even bloggers don't converse - they talk about themselves to themselves and they are advised to keep their paragraphs very short so readers won't lose interest. We've become a society of self-centered, impatient people with short-attention spans. If you can't make your point in 140 Twitter-ish characters, don't bother trying to make it at all! This is fine unless one lives alone, isolated out in the middle of no where with little social interaction. I want to converse in writing with thoughtful, intelligent people who have something to say. I use email like most people use their telephones. I realize this is not normal, but welcome to my abnormally unsocial life.

Anyway, so when faced with a potentially new friend, I have to control my impulse to write novel-length emails. I don't do this well. And I apologize profusely for my verbosity, which I do very well. I'm sure this makes them question what is wrong with me. After a while my writing slows down, emails get relatively shorter, and may even cease for long periods of time, but until the newness wears off I pray the recipient doesn't freak out too much. 

It was such a fun experience re-connecting with this woman I thought maybe I need to be less isolated and make myself more available to other past associates? I've had a Facebook account for a couple years, but it's been functioning in the highly private "only me" mode. For a while I was using it for news feeds from my favorite websites, but I have been ignoring it for the last couple years as my blog functions in the same way.

I logged into Facebook to have a look and my brother's girlfriend had friended me. My brother recently told me his girlfriend complained and wondered why I hated her. I was baffled and since my brother thinks computers are the Devil and knows nothing about them, he thought I blocked her emails or something. Now I know she somehow circumvented all my privacy options and found me on Facebook. She has been waiting for months (?) for me to accept her friend request. No wonder she's pissed.

Hmmm...I admit I am social-media resistant especially to Facebook. In my opinion it uses the concept of a computer virus to spread disingenuous friendship to desperate people with low self-esteem. Would it provide any meaningful connections? If I go public maybe old friends can find me and want to converse? What happen to the concept of pen pals anyway? I want a pen pal!

I updated my Facebook information and plumped it up with favorite movies, books, TV shows, and general likes. It was very self-centered and it reminded me of when we, as identity-deprived teenagers, used to invent and fill out those favorite things questionnaires. I added some photos of art to splash in some color and personalize it. Although I didn't add any private photos of people, even adding art felt like a violation of privacy. My eagerness to connect inspired me to be brave and venture forth.

I started with one friend. Just one (1), but one I knew I liked with whom I shared similar interests. The program kept reminding me I had ONE friend like a huge neon sign. Taunting me. This did not make me feel loved nor connected. In fact it made me feel like worthless crap. There is something very hypnotic about the numbers.

Suddenly I wanted MORE friends, regardless of whether they were real friends or not, so I started adding distant relatives and acquaintances, including my brother's girlfriend.  Facebook is designed to feed one's self-esteem. We want to feel loved, liked, and connected, even if it's just a number.

Before I knew it I had my own very small stable of trophy friends who were posting positive affirmations, computer game scores, computer game invites, photos of desserts, and videos of babies and animals doing cute things. It reminded me of when email first became popular and everyone was forwarding mindless affirmation chain letters and we'd all get the same illustrated joke twenty times a day. Even then I didn't want to play. Obviously someone invented a way to harness all that brainless forwarding only now it's called sharing. Like kindergarten.

Everything has a like button. I liked the posts, photos, and comments of others, and in response, they liked mine. We liked each other. It should have done wonders for my self-esteem, but it felt like back in grade school when it was very important for classmates to like you. I felt rebellious and angry. If no one liked my post was it bad? Fuck you, people, it was certainly likeable! Why did they like that photo but not like that photo? Fuck you, people, that photo is just as good! Am I that insecure that I need this constant validation?  It felt so wrong. So judgmental yet impersonal. All they were doing was clicking on an icon. I know everyone meant well and was doing exactly what was expected to make me feel welcome and liked. This is what one does with Facebook, yet I felt so violated and manipulated. It was stressful.

I kept questioning if I was feeling this way because I'm so isolated. Am I just reclusive and anti-social? Am I just not good at playing this social game? Probably all of the above. Posts limited to mere phrases offered very little in the way of conversing opportunities. This was disappointing. I'm not interested in superficial connections. Heck, I feel more connected to people when I make anonymous comments on an article. Even when I get a thumbs-down for my opinions! I backed away from Facebook by reinstating more privacy options. I stopped friending people and unfollowed many.

I was told by my Facebook mentors to concentrate on the benefits, ignore the irritating, and to remember why I activated the account in the first place: to be more accessible to old friends. In addition I should lower my expectations to non-conversational, short-attention-spanned, self-centered, old friends. This, of course, makes me question the point, and while I'm questioning the point, Facebook is still bullying me with People You May Know because they believe it IS really about the numbers.

Just when I felt the whole horrible experience had been a waste of time one of my ex-best friends from junior high friended me! This was someone I haven't had any contact with for nearly a lifetime so you can imagine my shock and delight. She claimed she had been searching for me for years although I find it hard to believe since I do have a web presence. I think she had been limiting her search to just Facebook, and suddenly, there I was! I was so excited to be found as if I never existed before! (Shit. No...Facebook does NOT define me!) I sent her a chat message and she sent a short chat reply saying she'd email. That was it. No conversation. No catching up. I anxiously waited for connection to happen. I guess I'm just a trophy friend, just another number. It's been over two weeks and we've not connected at all. I'm sure she's very busy keeping tabs on her 453 friends who make her feel very liked.  She doesn't have time. Very disappointing.

I'm not finding Facebook meaningful, but I have hope maybe there is someone out there who wants to converse and they will find me. Until then, I have my blog, a place I can talk to myself and write as much as I want.

I love my blog.

Note: Thank you to those who do allow me to email you constantly. You have no idea how much it means to me.

 

Chicken and Zucchini Poppers (recipe)

This recipe is perfectly Paleo-Hashimoto's. Nothing in it that's not on my diet which is a rare find! This was found on the website One Lovely Life written by a woman who's family is gluten and dairy free.

 

Ingredients:

 

1 lb. ground chicken

2 cups grated zucchini, leave peel on and grate on smallest

2 green onions, sliced

3-4 tablespoons cilantro, minced

1 clove garlic, minced

salt and pepper

3/4 teaspoon cumin (optional)

olive oil for cooking

 

Pre-heat oven at 400 degrees. Mix chicken, zucchini, onions, cilantro, garlic, salt, pepper and cumin. Drizzle and spread a bit of olive oil on a baking sheet.

 

 

 

 

Using a small scoop or heaped tablespoon and form into balls, place on baking sheet. Bake 20-25 minutes, then broil on high for 2-3 minutes until tops are brown.

 

 

 



Serve warm with guacamole, salsa or dip.

As you can see from the photos I grated my zucchini on normal and I think the pieces of zucchini were too big. And my grocery co-op was out of ground chicken so I bought ground turkey. This was a fine substitution, but I eat turkey so infrequently it had a weird, gamey taste. Later I tried the recipe with the chicken and it was better. I am trying not to use cumin since it's on my forbidden list according to my mutated genes, and the recipe was great without it, but I think it would add some pizzazz for those of you who can use cumin.

These little poppers would be a great party appetizer.

Yum.

Cauliflower Kisses (recipe)

There are lots of recipes out there using cauliflower. I've never been a big fan of cauliflower. It's not because I don't like the taste. Maybe it's the weird texture? I saw these cute little cauliflower rosettes and I thought they were so adorable I should try the recipe and maybe I would find a fun way to eat cauliflower. Or at least a tolerable way.

The recipe, from my friend's Paleo collection, was originally from Low Carb, So Simple, a website featuring "gluten-free, sugar-free and five ingredients or less". The recipe is really titled Duchess Cauliflower. I hope no one minds if I rename it. I think Cauliflower Kisses is much nicer. And they look sort of like Hershey's Kisses! Only made with something less evil and definitely healthier.

Because the recipe calls for butter, they are only Paleo rather than Paleo-Hashimoto's, but still very healthy. Perhaps the butter could be replaced with coconut oil? I don't know if they would taste as good and I'm not crazy about coconut oil. I use it in so many recipes as it is.

Ingredients:

1 lb. cauliflower
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons butter
2 large eggs
1/3 cup coconut flour
pepper (optional, the original recipe doesn't call for it, but I added it)

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.

Cook cauliflower until soft. Pour out all water and place cauliflower in a blender. Add butter and salt and puree until smooth. Cool slightly. Whisk eggs in a separate bowl, add to cauliflower, and continue to puree. Add flour and whisk to mix. Let stand ten minutes. I think this give the coconut time to expand because the mixture becomes soft and fluffy.

Line a baking pan with parchment paper or olive oil. Use a pastry bag (or like I did, a small plastic bag with a hole cut out from a corner) and pipe rosettes on the baking pan.

Bake 15 - 40 minutes depending on the size of the rosette. The tips and edges will start to brown lightly. When done the bottoms will be toasty browned like hash browns.

Serve warm. Yum.

When piping the rosettes I took more photos than necessary because I kept thinking, Boy! I hope these things taste as good as they were fun to make! Wasn't that some company's advertising saying? These didn't disappoint! REALLY FUN TO EAT. They were really fluffy and yummy. It was all I could do to stop eating especially since they were bite-sized, but fortunately, cauliflower is very filling.

Posing for photograph, then popped it in my mouth!

 

Cauliflower is also a goitrogenic food, in other words, it suppresses thyroid function. This is not a good effect for people who have low-functioning thyroid. Some don't believe this is much of an issue and the benefits of goitrogens outweigh the warnings, but many suggest people with symptoms of hypothyroidism should limit their intake of goitrogens. Examples of goitrogenic foods include broccoli, kale, Brussels sprouts, cabbage, peaches, pears, radishes, soy, spinach, strawberries, sweet potatoes, turnips among others. I am really happy to have a reason NOT to eat kale.

ENJOY!

Got DOORS?

Junk yard score!  I delivered tasty treats to the junk man today and FINALLY found suitable house parts! Two outside doors in very good shape and in a pretty Christmas red!

Left side: front door...Right side: back door!

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME!

Roasted Broccoli and Bacon (recipe)

I've been trying a lot of recipes lately. It's fun to discover new ways to eat foods. This is a fabulous way to make Brussels sprouts, and most importantly, EASY! My Paleo-recipe-collecting friend had this in her files from the Nom Nom Paleo website. Pork isn't on the Hashimoto's diet, but it is fine for Paleo and gluten-free meals.

 

 

 

Ingredients:

1 1/2 lbs. Brussels sprouts
2-3 tablespoons of olive oil, or fat of choice
salt and pepper
4 bacon slices, cut into small pieces
balsamic vinegar, aged (optional)

Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees.

Wash Brussels sprouts, trim off ends, and cut in half. Place in a bowl and toss with salt and pepper and oil. Spread on baking sheet with raw bacon pieces. Bake for 15 minutes and flip. Bake another 15 minutes until done.

When they are ready to eat, sprinkle aged balsamic vinegar on them for a tangy seasoning. I didn't have any balsamic vinegar and they tasted great without.

Use broccoli or cauliflower instead of Brussels sprouts.

Yum.

Merry Christmas to Me!

When the holidays come around I can sometimes start feeling really sorry for myself cooped up all alone out in the middle of nowhere imagining the rest of the world going to parties, family gatherings, and eating a massive amount of health-destroying foods. Yummy, sweet, chocolaty foods dripping with frosting and whipped cream loaded with preservatives, food colorings, and additives. Yum! Even without tasty holiday treats, I celebrate the season with Christmas music, make a wreath, and have a fine time. Pre-MCS I used to spend the month of December spreading cheer by making and delivering cookies to friends and family. I don't do that anymore. It's too tempting. This year I decided to find something yummy and sweet to give the junk man at the city dump who puts up with me showing up once every two weeks to scrounge for used house parts. He rarely has anything for me, but every now and then I score.

Last time I was there I spied a really cool wood frame hanging on the wall in the dump station. I asked him why it was hanging there and he said, "Oh, just to decorate the place." I didn't burst out laughing. I'm sure he doesn't even notice the putrid smell of rotting garbage all around him. He gave me the frame. Maybe I could use it for a window frame? I've also considered collecting old wood picture frames, paint them, add a mirror, and sell them. Someday. So I got my new-old frame home, cleaned all the dust and grime off it and surprise!, it's REALLY NICE!

I'm not even sure I want to paint it now! So I felt incredibly grateful and thought I should take him some holiday treats to show my appreciation in hopes he will feel more motivated to save me house parts.

Of course, this means I get to go shopping for Christmas treats! I initially thought I would try to find some homemade-type cookies. There was no way I was going to bake them as I wasn't sure I could resist tasting and I don't imagine most people would care for gluten-free products. Instead I headed to a couple bakeries. Most of them had pre-packaged type cookies and desserts that didn't look very edible. Then I found a bakery that made these adorable cupcakes!

I apologize for the lack of photo quality as I photographed them through the plastic protective containers. I don't want to mess them up. It was bad enough they started melting in my van on the way home. I was so excited to buy treats, even if I wasn't buying them for me, I couldn't stop at cupcakes, and bought one magnificently decorated double-fudge brownie. He is a lucky junk man.

So in light of all this temptation on the premises, I decided I needed to treat myself to something kind of bad, but relatively healthy.

My friend, Urfa, collects Paleo recipes and she highly recommended one for Paleo-style pumpkin pie. I wasn't confident as my gluten-free baking skills are so embarrassingly poor, but I jumped in there anyway. It's easy, too. Unfortunately, it does use dates as the sweetener which is a problem since any kind of sweetener is not on my diet. It amazes me a year ago I was woofing down a whole bag of dates in one sitting before I realized they were causing a lot of my fatigue. At least in a recipe mixed with other less sweet ingredients, the effect won't be as bad. They also have a tiny amount of organic maple syrup, an ingredient also not on my diet but I know it's filled with vitamins so I'm less inclined to worry about effects. Besides I need to do something to celebrate the holidays and at this point, nothing is going to stop me! (Did I make a good case for cheating?) Here is the recipe:

PALEO PUMPKIN PIE

1 can organic pumpkin
1 can organic coconut milk, full-fat
4 egg yolks (or two whole eggs)
4-6 dates, soaked in water and pitted
1 T. organic, Grade B maple syrup
pumpkin pie spice: cinnamon, allspice, ginger, cloves, nutmeg

Throw it all in a blender and mix. Place in little bowls and bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour.

Cool. In fact, cool for 24 hours for best results. It's really so incredibly easy. If you wanted to do make this recipe properly,  you could buy a big organic pumpkin, skin it, chop it up, boil it to mush thereby avoiding a canned product, but that is a whole lot of work and pumpkins have pretty much disappeared for the season. And instead of canned coconut milk, I've come across recipes making the milk out of dried coconut flakes. It's a whole lot of extra work, but probably healthier. More Paleo as canned goods are definitely processed goods.

AMAZINGLY SCRUMPTIOUS. Notice they don't have a crust. There are some Paleo/gluten-free crust recipes, but I haven't tried them as I don't want to get addicted to anything too devilish. I figure the dates are bad enough.

I chalk this whole experience up to outstanding willpower. Bring on the cupcakes and brownies and waft them under my nose. I don't care. I'll eat Paleo Pumpkin Pie instead!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO EVERYONE!