Thursday, September 29, 2016

September Movie Reviews

*****   Exceptional
****     Great
***       OK
**         So So
*           Blah

The Big Short is about the housing-banking economic collapse a few years ago. Its starts out with the narrator saying the reason the banks get away with so much is because they've rigged it with legal ease and jargon no one understands creating a brain fog that makes everyone not question. That's how I felt throughout the whole movie! Lots of fast talking financial vocabulary whizzing in one ear (through my mushy brain) and out the other, but even in my cognitive haze there was this overwhelming sense of dread and panic. The sleaze and fraud of our banks, our government, our corporations IS (present tense) disgusting. Performances were all excellent, especially Christian Bale and Steve Carrell. ***

Burnt is about a chef (Bradley Cooper) who screws up his life and the lives of everyone around him, comes back years later after a period of penance and rejuvenation with the goal of getting his life back on track and working toward three Michelin stars.  He has issues with perfection and trying to do everything alone which only serves to alienate everyone. Great story, great performances, beautiful food. ****

Demolition is about a man's grieving process after his wife dies in a car accident. He's not a normal griever (is anyone?). He begins by writing multiple, heart-felt letters to a vending machine company because he didn't get the candy bar he paid for at the hospital. Then he starts taking things apart. First, the refrigerator, then his office computer, his in-laws bathroom fixtures, and then he goes crazy on his house as he tries to tear down in order to build back up. A little slow, but the performances were great. I really like Jake Gyllenhaal. ***

Do I Sound Gay? was about the speech patterns of gay men. It was really interesting addressing gender roles while growing up, children with speech impediments, how tone and inflection are perceived, interviews with speech therapists and vocal coaches, and many examples of celebrities with gay-sounding voices including various role models for gay speech patterns, for instance, Disney villains (!). Fascinating. ****

The Driftless Area was an interesting story about a woman (Zooey DeChanel) who is accidently burnt to a crisp by a low-life arsonist (John Hawkes), she comes back as a ghost, and needs someone to find her killer and "restore balance". Hawkes has been in a lot of movies lately. He's a very unconventional movie star, awesome performances, and plays "sleazy-bad guy" really well. The plot is a little slow, but the story memorable. I thought about it for days. ***

Empire of the Sun is about the Japanese occupation of China in the 1940s and a British boy (Christian Bale) who is separated from his parents and survives the war in an internment camp. Not a good experience for anyone let alone a kid. Great performances, sets, costumes, everything. ****

Of Gods and Men is a French movie based on the true story of the French Cistercian monks at a monastery in Algeria in the 1990s. With the country harassed by Islamic terrorists, they are tormented, individually and collectively. Should they stay or leave? Staying would support the village in their time of need and maintain their religious mission to serve the poor and sick. Leaving would remove them from being used as pawns in the hands of the extremists and save their lives. After much deliberation, they decide to stay and the terrorists kidnap them in an attempt to negotiate the release of terrorist prisoners in France. Lots of LONG devotional Gregorian singing (with subtitles) and lots of excessively lengthy drawn out shots of nothing which made the movie a little boring. Neither of these features added to the plot so I'm not sure of the point other than adding time to an already long film. **

Good People with Kate Hudson and James Franco who are facing eviction on their apartment, foreclosure on the old run-down house they were remodeling and their downstairs tenant dies. While cleaning out his apartment, they find $200,000 stashed in the ceiling. Do they turn it in to the cops or keep it? They decide to hold on to it for a while to see if someone comes looking, but desperation tempts them to start spending....then the bad guys show up. And if you weren't really sure if they were bad guys or how bad they were, you get to watch one of them shove a pool ball down a guy's throat. Just for clarity.  Very exciting and suspenseful. I always figured if I found a stash of cash, I'd also keep it, but I think I'd wait MONTHS to spend it and even then only $20 every now and then! LOL! I mean in this scenario the bad guys come after the good people anyway and if they hadn't found the money they'd still be blamed and tortured for finding it so why not have some fun until then? ****

Grace of Monaco with Nicole Kidman. Who would have known she was so miserable? Maybe that's the princess's lot in life? The story takes place when DeGaulle is trying to tax Monaco to finance his war in Algiera and threatens to invade Monaco and depose the prince. (Tim Roth plays Rainier. I like him.) Lots of sleaziness behind the scenes - Prince Rainier's sister plots with DeGaulle so she can rule Monaco. The fairy tale doesn't sound so fun when one hears what really went on, but I've never heard any of this before. Maybe it's all Hollywood sensationalism? ***

The Hateful Eight  I love a good western, and I especially love a western that satirically pays homage to my favorite western The Magnificent Seven so I was curious. If you have ever seen a Tarantino film, clearly the man has anger issues that are expressed through his art, but he also has a fetish with  the 1960s so obvious in his credits and music. At first you smile and shake your head. Great tongue-in-cheek nostalgia with bright orange lettering, but ten minutes of credits is way too long and it counteracts the initial effect. Then we meet the characters. Tarantino never disappoints as they are always complex, well-developed, and just bizarre enough to be entertaining. The story begins with a bounty hunter, "The Hangman" (Kurt Russell, love him, don't see him often), who never kills his dead or alive quarry as he wants to see justice...and a hanging. He is gleefully transporting his very dirty, foul-mouthed prisoner (Jennifer Jason Leigh) who he punches in the face every time she starts spewing filth. Along the way he meets a former Union officer turned bounty hunter (Samuel L. Jackson) and  the town's new sheriff (Walton Goggins, or Boyd Crowder from Justified - love him). As the blizzard moves in (LOTS of snow), they take refuge in an inn of sorts called Minnie's Haberdashery where four men are staying, waiting out the storm. Things are suspicious to say the least. Minnie is missing. Are they who they say they are? It's three years after the war and half of this motley crew are Confederates and half are Yankees. Two are officers formerly on the same battlefield. All are guilty of heinous war crimes and no one has been brought to justice. All is fair in love and war. Then it all goes to hell in a hand basket. True to Tarantino, it's BLOODY. People don't just get shot in a Tarantino film. The blood gushes waterfalls and splatters magnificently covering the whole room. That's on a good day. The violence is surreal and exaggerated. This particular movie is more like a western horror mystery with flashbacks of Carrie and Nightmare on Elm Street. Only Tarantino... Fascinating story and characters, excellent performances and cast, and superb photography. There were, however, moments I was ready for it to be over because I just wasn't interested in getting to the end, and, of course, the violence is over-the-top gross. ***

Home Invasion was so scary! It's about this very rich, but likeable woman and her eleven-year old stepson. Husband is out of town constantly and they are home alone in their mansion. Bad people arrive, the woman's visiting friend volunteers to go outside and find out if they are lost since they aren't expected. While the homeowner watches the security monitor, they murder her. Rich lady runs for the front door, closes it just in time, turns on the security panic button, grabs the kid, runs through the mansion, and calls the home security company. The bad guys circumvent the 911 call to make her think she has called the police and spray paint the security cameras. They don't know there are hidden cameras all over the house. The security systems specialist (Jason Patric) can watch the monitors and tell her how to make her way around the house without being seen and he can pull some tricks too like turning on the music at full volume. Then the bad guys scramble the cell phone reception, then the power goes out, then the bridge to their house is blocked (another bad guy does that) and the woman and stepson are discovered. It's one thing after another. Performances were good. A thrilling and nerve wracking experience. Fun. ****

I Believe in Unicorns is about a young girl who falls for a bad boy. I'm guessing they are all around sixteen years old since her friend has a driver's license, but she looks about 12 years old, playful, sweet, loves toys, lick-on tattoos and unicorns. He's grungy and immature, crush-worthy and abusive. I remember swooning over bad boys. The art effects are really interesting. The opening sequences are awesome. Very intriguing, dark, and fascinating. ***

Jupiter Ascending I don't care for wild, fantasy-sci-fi. So you are probably wondering why I bothered with this movie? The premise was interesting and I thought the first part might be worth a look: girl working as a cleaning lady finds out she's the Queen of Earth. Bees love her. I had to see that. I wanted to see the disclosure scene where someone recognizes her superpowers or someone says, "Surprise! You are the Queen of Earth!" Unfortunately they failed miserably with the anticipation and the disclosure was a let-down. Her reaction was "hmm...".  Maybe it was just bad acting (Mila Kunis), but I was not impressed. The first ten minutes is a quick summary of her life from conception to birth. No great epiphany, in fact not a hint of why SHE is the Queen of Earth. Then it all escalates into a whole bunch of futuristic weirdness with a pointy-eared Channing Tatum (as if his name isn't strange enough). Eddie Redmayne does play an awesome, scary bad guy who whispers deeply which is exceptionally creepy yet cool. It was too complex and I was too confused to be able to keep track of the plot and what was supposed to be happening. I lasted about 20 minutes. *

Just Before I Go is about a guy who feels life is too hard and he's tired of fighting. His dad died when he was a kid, his seventh grade teacher bullied him, the school bully tortured him, and his wife just left him. He decides before he kills himself he has to make amends with people from his past. It's over-the-top goofy humor at times and very serious and thought-provoking other times with some great lines and LOL moments in between it all.  The brother is so politically wrong every time he opens his mouth he's priceless. "Fear thrives in emptiness." Nice quote. ***

Little Boy is about a young boy living in California who's father goes off to war (World War II). The boy is constantly teased by other kids because he is so small, but he starts believing he has special powers that will bring his father home. He gets inspiration from a comic book hero, the local Catholic priest, and a Japanese man. It was an interesting mix of magic, religion, and mythology. The kid is SO INCREDIBLY ADORABLE and the movie exceptionally sweet.  Excellent 1940s sets, costumes, great performances, LOL moments and tear jerking scenes. Rarely does one see a movie that addresses the racism toward the Japanese during World War II. Great movie. ****

Newsies I can't quite get used to seeing Christian Bale singing and dancing. I think the first movie I saw him in was American Psycho and for me that is Christian Bale - serious, dramatic, psychotic. This was a Disney musical although it was on Broadway for a while. It was good. It's like Oliver...a production filled with poverty-stricken little boys. Good story, great costumes, great dancing. ***

Not Another Happy Ending is about a newbie Scottish novelist who is signed with a publisher and they fall in love but neither realizes it so she conveniently gets writer's block so she can't finish her second novel because if she does their time together is over. It was goofy. The story was juvenile and the acting mediocre. Her clothes were amazingly ugly, but the British (and therefore, the Scottish) aren't known for their fashion sense. Nothing special and kind of boring. **

Our Idiot Brother is about a brain-dead hippie man-boy who doesn't ever think. He doesn't listen, never seems to know how to follow directions, says whatever he wants disclosing personal conversations, and acts like a retard all the time. Now, I know that's not a politically correct term, but it's used throughout the movie and it is the best description for him. He just never thinks. In the opening scene he's selling his organic produce at a market, a uniformed police officer asks him if he has any pot to sell and he sells it to him. He goes to jail, and his hippie girlfriend has replaced him with another brain dead loser so he goes home to live with mother and stay with his adult sisters. He creates all kinds of drama with his thoughtless big mouth and vacant stares. All star cast and great performances, but the ending fell flat. They all claimed to love him just the way he is, but this epiphany didn't ring true. He didn't do anything to earn it.  Oddly enough it wasn't over the top stupid humor although my review might make it sound so. If he wasn't so irritating, it might have been a really good movie. ***

The Perfect Guy is the worst case scenario of dating gone wrong. It's about a woman who breaks up with a long-time boyfriend because he won't marry her. She starts dating this guy who is gorgeous, charming and perfect in every way. She introduces him to all her friends, takes him home to meet the parents, shows him where she hides her spare house key, and then one night in an encounter at a gas station, he snaps and beats this stranger senseless. She realizes she doesn't know who he is and she's not really interested in finding out. She breaks up with him and he's not having it. Not one iota. He's a psychopath and he starts stalking her showing up at her work, calling her all day and night. Then he hacks her computer, cell phone, plants video cams in her house, gets her fired...and believe it or not, it escalates from there. Very scary. Some of it was idiotic. I mean if someone is stalking you, threatening you, do you not notice who's parked across the street watching your house? If you live in a house that has whole walls of windows, wouldn't you draw the curtains? And I'll never figure out why anyone would stand three feet in front of someone while pointing a gun without worrying they might grab it. Jeez. Oh well. It's Hollywood. That was an intensely fun ride. This is why I don't trust good looking men. I'm pretty convinced they are all psychopaths and we are blind to their craziness. LOL ****

To Save a Life is about a high school kid who leaves his best friend from grade school behind as he climbs the ladder of high-school coolness. The ex-friend is ostracized and bullied because of his limp, a limp he received from pushing his friend out of the path of a car and taking the hit himself. Feeling alone, he takes a gun to school and kills himself leaving the ex-friend wondering why he was such a self-centered douche bag and didn't do more to help him. Good story about personal responsibility and empathy for others. WAY, WAY too much God talk. I think it's too bad only the Christians can come up with these great messages for kids, but Christianity shouldn't be the requirement for being a good human being who is kind, caring, and responsible. Anyone can strive to be a good person. Bible-beating kids into believing they can't be good without being Christian is a bad message. ***


Veronica Guerin is about an Irish reporter (Cate Blanchett) who investigates the drug lords of Dublin. They shoot her, threaten to kidnap her son, beat her up and she keeps on harassing the bad guys. She far more courageous than I'd ever be and I'm not sure how she could justify the sacrifice of her life when she had a small child. They murder her and her murder motivates people to get off their asses and make some changes. Performances were outstanding and Cate's Irish accent was spectacular. Colin Farrell makes an appearance for about five minutes. I wonder if it was his first major motion picture? ****

No comments:

Post a Comment