Saturday, December 31, 2016

December Movie Reviews

*****   Exceptional
****     Great
***       OK
**         So So
*           Blah


Allegiant is the fourth in the Divergent series.  A civil war is brewing between the remaining factions and the Divergent group go beyond the wall to see what is out there. Great series. Lots of action and strong women roles. ****

Austenland is about a Jane Austen fanatic, "Jane", who has grown up in love with Jane Austen books. Now as an adult, she re-reads, re-lives, or re-watches the stories constantly in her apartment surrounded by 18th century British everything and is perpetually single because she lives her life in this fantasy. She decides to spend her life savings on a vacation to the Austenland resort which guarantees total cultural immersion and romance. Unfortunately she can only afford the cheap rate: accommodations in the servant's quarters, dowdy dresses, no extras. The other women are caricatures of comedy, goofy, silly to the point of irritation. The resort actors paid to woo them are equally animated. The first half of the movie I kept thinking whoever wrote this HATES Jane Austen fans. However, Jane keeps taking walks on the grounds in order to escape the boredom of perpetual needle point, the irritation of the cackling guests, or the frustration of being treated like she is second class. She meets one of the hired help and begins her own private romance away from the manor with the stable boy. Then the scowling, gorgeous Mr. Darcy-like character flirts. She begins to feel confused between reality and fantasy. There were times the stupid humor was irritating and I think the main character could have been written better. Well, the whole movie could have been written better as it had way more potential than what it delivered, but I liked the idea and I liked the climax where the fantasy all comes falling down around her. ***

The Answer Man is about an author who writes a book called Me and God filled with questions to and answers from God. Everyone thinks he talks to God and his fans besiege him for answers to their burning questions.  He's an angry guy and somewhat reclusive secluded in his stunning New York apartment lined with bookshelves. He spends much of his time trying to figure out how to really talk to God. Then he starts interacting with people and those encounters change his life. It was good . ****

Birth is about a widow (Nicole Kidman) whose husband has been dead for ten years and she's about to remarry. A ten-year old boy shows up on her doorstep, claims to be her dead husband, and begs her not to marry as it would be a mistake. He convincingly knows intimate details of her life and her dead husband's life.  The whole thing is very weird. First, the woman's family invites the kid to stay with them. Personally I'd be curious, but I'd be appropriately creeped out and wouldn't invite him for overnights. If your kid started acting weird and a strange family invited him to move in with them, would you think that is acceptable? Second, Nicole is naked in the bath and this ten-year old walks into the bathroom, undresses and climbs into the bath with her. That was really, really creepy. Watching this grown woman who is convinced he is her dead husband and plans to run away with him was all very pedophilic and creepy. ***

The BoxTrolls What amazing animation! It was all puppetry. The characters were so outstanding and well-developed in their evilness or adorableness. Their facial features and the way they moved were mesmerizing. The special effects for the sets were outstanding, too. Darling story. ****

A Case of You is about a writer who has a crush on a barista at the local coffee shop. He stutters and gets tongue tied every time he's around her because he is so insecure. To compensate he finds her Facebook page and studies everything she likes so that when they do finally officially meet, it will appear as if they have everything in common and she will think he is the perfect man. I remember discussing this phenomenon with a friend years ago and how many people early in relationships will not be themselves and instead be the person they think the love interest wants them to be. I think she called it "reflecting." I spent most of my youth reflecting... Anyway, his past demons do reveal themselves so the audience understands why he is so insecure and afraid, and of course, she makes the mistake of telling him she's falling in love with him...which he doesn't trust because, after all, she doesn't know him. It was a very creative and interesting take on the love story genre. ****

Cold Mountain  How many times have I seen this movie? I've lost count. So outstanding. It's definitely one of my top ten movies of all time. *****

The Cove is about the slaughter of dolphins in Japan, the activists who are trying to stop it and the Japanese who are trying to cover it up so they can continue because they are greedy and violent. Dolphins are considered pests that eat the fish supply. The movie discusses the levels of mercury in dolphin meat, but how the Japanese are trying to sell the dolphin meat to the mandatory school lunch programs. The lead activist is Ric O'Barry who bought, trained and cared for the Flipper dolphins in the 1960s which started the dolphin show craze contributing to their exploitation, has been working for the last 35 years to free captive dolphins and stop the slaughters. Excellent, yet horrifying movie. So sad. I can't get the bright blood red water out of my head. Humans are so horrible. ****

Dear Eleanor is about a young girl who's mother runs to a meeting to introduce Eleanor Roosevelt, gets hit by a car, and dies never getting to give her introduction. The daughter and her best friend road trip from California to New York so she can give her mother's speech to the First Lady. It was about mourning and closure. The grief was good, but the rest was very goofy and unrealistic...they pick up an escape convict. Hmmm.... The scenery was beautiful. **

Delores Claiborne I know I've seen this movie before many years ago, but I couldn't remember it at all. It's about a housekeeper (Kathy Bates) accused of murdering her employer and a vindictive detective who tried to have her indicted for murdering her husband many years before. I love the quote "Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hang on to." Excellent story and lots of intrigue. Kathy Bates was superb. All performances were excellent. ****

Dirty Grandpa is with Robert DeNiro and Zac Efron. I had grave reservations about this movie and worried it would be incredibly stupid. Someone at the library said it was really funny. No, it was really stupid. I didn't even get to the point where Zac Efron takes his shirt off, and you know he does. Not sure why this kid who is a very good actor is in all these bad movies. *

Easy A is about an intelligent, witty, although invisible high school student (Emma Stone) who lies to her best friend telling her she is busy so she can get out of going camping with her and her weird parents. It escalates when she continues the lie and pressed by the friend, falsely admits to losing her virginity. Word travels fast. To compound her fall from grace, her English class is reading The Scarlet Letter, hence the film's title. Clever tie-in. I always like a good title. Since she now has the reputation of being the school slut, she decides to dress and play the part. Her gay friend asks if she'd pretend to have sex with him so he can pretend he's straight so the bullies would leave him alone. It snowballs from there when all the school's misfits hear about her willingness to sacrifice her reputation and they start paying her to help them spread rumors about their sexual desirability to increase their popularity. It was very creative and well-written. All-star cast. I love her parents - I wish I had parents like that. ***

Freeheld is the story of New Jersey detective Laurel Hester (Julianne Moore) who as she was dying from cancer was refused pension benefits for her domestic partner (Ellen Page). This is about her fight for equality which lead to gay marriage rights. Great performances. Moore's wig was cheap, ugly and a distraction. I know they were trying to make her look like the person the story was based on, but couldn't they find a wig that looked like real hair?? Who wears their hair like 1970s Farrah Faucett in 2006? ***

Four Christmases is about Reese Witherspoon and Vincent Vaughn who for years have lied to their four families telling them they do international volunteer work during Christmas.  They end up stranded at the airport during a snow storm and are interviewed by a TV news station about their trip to Fuji. Feeling slightly guilty but only because they were caught in the lie, they begrudgingly spend Christmas visiting their four dysfunctional families. I love the line "you can't spell families without lies." LOL **

Get a Job is about a group of young adults (featuring Miles Teller and Anna Kendrick) just out of college who are all trying to figure out how to get jobs. The underlying theme addresses the entitlement of this generation who have grown up getting awards for nothing, good grades for mediocrity,  trophies for losing, and praise for just existing. They carry this self-gratification, apathetic attitude into the job market. They have no concept of actual success, professional behavior, or working toward a goal. Bryan Cranston plays a father with an old-school work ethic who has lost his job and now has to compete with this younger generation. It has some LOL moments. Love the kid who gets a job as a middle school chemistry teacher. ***

Guernica was an historical fiction based on the true events of the massacre of a Spanish village just before WWII by the Nazis who were experimenting with new methods of warfare. Good story, lots of human interest to make you feel the pain and suffering. Beautiful scenery. Nazis were disgusting. The Spanish government has never apologized to the survivors of this village. ****

Holiday Inn with Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire. I can't believe I've never seen this classic movie. I thought I saw them all. Other than the dancing and the singing which was passable, the story line was fairly appalling. Conniving asshole purposely and repeatedly steals girlfriends away from the nice guy. It was horrible. And the quote, "Women has to have things told the right way"...because they are too stupid to figure it out otherwise. Black face performances. The staging was horrible. In one scene the two actors who were talking to each other had their backs to the camera the whole time. Entertainment has come a long way since 1942. **

I Have Never Forgotten You is a documentary about Holocaust survivor and Nazi hunter Simon Wiesenthal. Lots of film footage, excellent story, wonderful man. ****

The Invention of Lying is about how the world would be if nobody lied. It was very depressing with people throwing insults at one another and telling them exactly what they think of them. Then the main character (Ricky Gervais) discovers lying and his whole life changes as he becomes better at it. While trying to comfort his dying mother who is afraid of the great unknown of eternity, he invents the concept (lie) of heaven and the "man in the sky" who makes everyone happy. It was very thought provoking.  The message I got was lying produces a much better and happier existence. All-star cast, even the bit parts were played by celebrities. ***

Joy is the story of Joy Mangano who invented the self-wringing Miracle Mop and sold it on infomercials with much success. She starts out a wife, mother, daughter, and granddaughter supporting several generations of her dysfunctional family and in horrible debt. As a child she grew up with a very active imagination creating inventions, but with more and more responsibility all that creativity was squelched. She's constantly being told she's incapable and then allows her relatives to screw up her life at every turn. It takes her a while to find her strength. Jennifer Lawrence who is one of my favorite actresses is, as usual, brilliant. Also included are Robert DeNiro, Bradley Cooper, Diane Ladd, and Isabella Rossellini. It was a good human relations story about perseverance. Really bad title lacking in creativity. ***

Love the Coopers was a Christmas-themed story about a dysfunctional family who goes through the motions of familyhood but they lie, mistrust, and resent each other as they meet for the holiday dinner. (Common Christmas theme for the modern movie....) The all-star cast made the performances excellent. It had two problems. The first was the narration. It was irritating and I kept thinking the writer must not have had any confidence that the dialogue was good enough to describe the characters and tell the story. I found it very strange and distracting. Then there was the family dog. Big, ugly mutt who was allowed to jump up and eat food off counters, jump up on tables and eat food off plates, and jump on people sitting in chairs and eat their food. This went on THROUGHOUT the whole movie. It was disgusting and unnecessary which indicated the writer was probably some bad dog owner who thought a bad behaving dog would be a gimmick to save the plot, again, indicating no confidence in the story. Bad dog owners always think everyone loves a dog. Now I kept trying to make sense of this idiotic inclusion and could only see it as a symbol of the family dysfunction. Bad parents are always bad dog owners and vice versa. They are incapable of raising well-adjusted children and for the same reasons don't have the intelligence and are too lazy to train and socialize a dog. Maybe that was the point? Then near the end the grandfather is watching his family and thinking wonderful thoughts and I thought, Oh, he must have been the narrator? I still didn't see the point of the narration though. Well, no, the very last scene is at the Christmas tree with only the DOG looking out the window at the neighbors' houses with neighbor dogs looking out their windows. The fucking DOG is the narrator of the story!  It makes absolutely NO SENSE whatsoever and there was no connection between the movie themes and the dog. Remove the idiotic dog and the idiotic dog narration and it would have been a great movie. The dog was a cheap shot. ***

The Meddler is with Susan Sarandon who plays a Brooklyn widow who moves to Los Angeles to be near her daughter. She is overwhelmingly needy and obviously lonely. The underlying reason for this constant "meddling" is she is mourning the death of her husband and is most definitely lonely and directionless.  It's a great story about growing old and finding one's place in the world after the death of a loved one. Sarandon had a great Brooklyn accent. ***

Meet Me in Montenegro is an unusual love story about a screenwriter who was deserted by a woman years prior after a whirlwind six week romance in Montenegro. She left no reason in her note and he was devastated. Years later after a break up with another woman, he is sent to Berlin for a meeting as a last ditch effort to resurrect his filmmaking career and meets the woman from years past by accident. In three days he is to return to L.A. and she is heading to Budapest. Great art. I kept thinking how wonderful to be young and foolish and carefree... ***

Meet My Valentine was about a control freak who finds out he has brain cancer and less than a year to live. He decides he wants to find and approve of his wife's next husband and his daughter's new father so he puts his wife's profile on a dating sight and starts interviewing men. When he has to list her interests on the website, he has no idea which speaks to how they have grown apart. She's has decided although she loves him she no longer likes him and is considering separation. His new-found interest in her sparks a romantic rekindling. I totally get the purpose behind his plan, but it was a little unrealistic if he thought he could keep his illness from his wife and then do all this work to find her a man WITHOUT her approval. Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. Needless to say it was very sentimental. Good performances. ***

The Perfect Man is about a man (Liev Schreiber) who is a pathological philanderer and his wife (Jeanne Tripplehorn) who finally gets fed up and leaves him. He's lost without her, crying, drinking, stumbling around. She wants to figure out why he is the way he is so she pretends she's a random, accidental caller and engages him in conversation. I don't know. I don't have much respect for men who have no respect for women and then whine and carry on like babies when they lose the ones they love nor do I have any respect for women who allow men to act like turds. I just can't give him an excuse and call it OK. ***

See You In the Morning 1989 Jeff Bridges and Farrah Faucet when they are young. Really boring. Nice 1980s clothes. *

The Silent Storm is about a minister on a deserted Scottish Island who's brain has been warped by thinking too much about the Devil. There is some strange history with his wife which leads one to believe she is in debt to him in some way. She's a closeted herbalist, or, according to the minister, of evil persuasion. He's religiously abusive. "OBEDIENCE IS GODLY!" A teenage orphan who has been labeled as a SINNER is sent to live with them so the minister can beat the Devil out of him through work and prayer. Before he is able to abuse the kid too much, the minister hears the call of God and craziness takes over. God told him he must dismantle his entire church, tied it to the fishing boat, and haul it to the mainland. He leaves the young man with his young wife alone together...and you know that was not a smart move. Beautiful scenery, great performances. Religious people are insane. ***

Star Wars: The Force Awakens  A week or so ago by chance I found out that Adam Driver was the bad guy in the latest Star Wars movie. Really? Adam a bad guy. With all that charming quirkiness he's usually in comedies. I ordered it from the library and while waiting for its arrival Princess Leia died. Watching it was my mourning ritual to honor her. Anyway, I failed miserably as a Star Wars fan. I think I saw the first two movies only because my best friend was a fanatic, but then I lost interest. This one was fun. It has all the adventure and excitement of the original movies, but the heroes are older! They  looked great too, Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill (teeny tiny role!), and especially Carrie Fisher. As always I love the multicultural themes - all those species living and working together in harmony. Of course, the plot is left wide open for another sequel. I don't think Adam died...he'll be back. Great role for him. The night I watched it Debbie Reynolds died and it felt like my childhood died right along with her. I normally don't bawl like a baby when celebrities die, but this time I did. ****

Stonewall is a historical fiction based on the 1968 riots in New York that mark the beginning of the gay rights movement.  Great presentation on the civil rights issues and great performances. So sad how families have rejected their children forcing them out of their homes and on the streets. ****

Tenderness is about a teenage psychopath who gets off on the intimacy of killing women. He gets released early from prison and meets a stalker-girl who has been obsessed with him. Russell Crowe plays the detective who was on his case and tracks him after his release. The opening introduction is very intriguing with Crowe narrating about two types of people in the world: those who chase pleasure and those who are running from pain. Interesting movie. ***

Too Die For is about Suzanne Stone (Nicole Kidman) an exceedingly ambitious woman obsessed with being on TV as a reporter or news anchor. Her new husband (Matt Dillon) wants her to stay home, help run the family business, and pop out a few kids. She resents his attempt to deprive her of her dream. While filming a television special on teens, she begins an affair with Joaquin Phoenix (who is very young in this movie!) and manipulates him into killing her husband. Kidman's performance is amazing and she is stunningly gorgeous with her perfectly presentable clothing and well-coifed hair. ***

Unbroken is the story of Louie Zamporini, Olympic medalist in track who survived being stranded in a lifeboat for over a month after being shot down in the Pacific during World War II, then captured and tortured and kept in a prison camp by a Japanese psychopath. Amazing story. It never ceases to amaze me that people can be so absolutely horrible to others. Humans disgust me. ****


Winter's Tale I'm not even sure where to begin with this one. It's about a man (Colin Farrell) in 1915 who falls in love with a girl who is dying, but there is this battle between good and evil. Everyone has one miracle to give, but the demon who resides over New York hates goodness.... Or something. It was as weird as my description sounds. There was a whole lot of time travel although it didn't make much sense. It had an all-star supporting cast: William Hurt, Russell Crowe and Eva Saint Marie. (Where has she been all these years?) and then Will Smith shows up as Lucifer. Really!! He's got a great voice for the Head Devil. Great sets and atmosphere. The flying white horse was outstanding. It was a little too fantasic for me to wrap my head around, but it was definitely interesting especially with all that tear-jerking death. ***

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