Walls of Words

Entertainment is limited for people who are chemically sensitive. We must isolate from people, either unenlightened individuals who have no clue how to be fragrance free or masses of humanity who group for social events such as restaurant dining, concerts, theater, movies, sports, family functions, and the like. We find ourselves exiled and isolated from others. 

Although I've gotten used to being alone and have found ways to entertain myself in my isolation, I often tell people I am "socially starved." The unenlightened don't normally understand this concept. They have zero empathy because for the most part it is unfathomable to them. The pandemic shed some light on the lifestyle of many chemically sensitive when so many people were forced in lockdown to stay at home, stay away from people to stay safe, and find ways to self-entertain. The unenlightened complained of gaining too much weight. Yep, it comes with isolated self-entertainment. We eat to self-medicate. 

I've discussed forms of isolated entertainment in other posts: creative projects, gardening, walking, television and movies, music. These are great to keep one's mind occupied, but "social starvation", a total lack of human contact and communication, is a whole other form of torture. I crave communication. I am not necessary lonely or in need of company...I just want to communicate. This blog is a great outlet. Email is a god-sent. How did we ever survive without computers? I can't imagine being chemically sensitive at a time when there were no computers or online connection. Thankfully the world wide web keeps us connected to the world, perhaps indirectly, but it's still a connection.

I have been bestowed with the gift of gab. I can talk or write non-stop if given the chance. As an extreme introvert, I never used to be like this, but I have evolved through isolation to seek out strategies of connection and communication. 

My last real "date" with a man was not supposed to be a date. Under normal dating circumstances, I would have conversed like a normal person, discussed topics, answered and asked questions. Because I viewed it as a non-date, I didn't care about conversation etiquette and proceeded to talk non-stop about anything. It was like uncontrollable vomit, purging all the words I'd kept inside for too long. He was fragrance-free and kind of quiet so I was having a good time. At the end of our "non-date" he said, "You sure are a great communicator!" I think a normal first date would not have been so verbose in an attempt to look rationale. He actually wanted to go out again, but since it was a non-date, I declined. This also made me realize my past dating behaviors might have been self-sabotaging. I should have just let loose and talked non-stop. I might have been considered more interesting!

My emailing addiction can become out of control. Every now and then I meet someone new or reconnect with someone old and we begin to correspond. For reconnections, the reminiscing is grand and the updates and sharing what we've done with our lives is phenomenal. It can go on for quite a while, but we eventually run out of things to say, the emails slow down and then stops except for an update every few months. That is normal and expected. I know I can write them under the table. I've had people finally tell me, "OK! Too much! I can't keep up!" One friend told me I was exhausting her. At first I thought, It's email! Just don't read! It's not like a phone that is ringing and demanding attention." I think, however, that etiquette demands emails to be read and answered and this overwhelmed them.

So I started monitoring my emails, managing their length and frequency. My rule was I could only write as much and as long as the other person. I thought I was the queen of compromise, but nevertheless, I still had people scream, "TOO MUCH!" This was confusing. Too much? You are writing just as much if not more than I am!? Case in point, on the day one friend told me it was too much she sent me four emails. Then a week later sent me two letters! Last week she spent one day emailing me eleven times!!!!!!???? Confusion is an understatement. I think it's more about CONTROL. Regardless of mental state or reasoning, writing was still taking up too much time, time the unenlightened don't have because as people who are not chemically sensitive, the world called to them. They had things to do, places to go, and sane people to see, people who weren't locked in their houses at the computer writing 24/7. They don't understand the isolation of chemical sensitivity nor the lack of entertainment or communication options. I tried to apologize and explain how socially starved I am. They don't care.

I've always searched for MCSers who want to correspond. Some do, but most are very negative and it's very draining. I do understand. It's difficult being chemically sensitive, sick, resentful and angry at the world for this forced reclusion. I try to control my posts on this blog so I don't get too negative, but it oozes through like a festering wound especially during times of uncontrollable frustration. I just want to vent to get it all out.

I recently met another MCSer who was uncommonly cheerful. We started responding to each other's posts on a MCS site. She was hilarious. Her writing style is joyful and upbeat. I figured maybe she was on some good drugs. She told me we were "twinsies". HA! She constantly made me laugh. We began messaging each other outside the group and she warned me, "I can write WALLS OF WORDS!" LOL! Oh, my god, I think I found my people!

That joy lasted about a day before she began ranting non-stop about how horrible her life is, how horrible her childhood was, how horrible her family is, how horrible her ex-boyfriend from forty years ago was and my super empath sucked all that toxicity in and I became irritable and stressed out. She explained she doesn't want to converse because she's so passive it makes her feel judged. She just wants to talk about herself. I wanted to scream "DO A BLOG!" LOL. I just can't do MCS people. I'm sure they can't do me either.

Stupid is as Stupid Does

When I first met my neighbor she told me she was fragrance-free. She told me she was taught by her mother never to wear perfume in public so for that reason she rarely wears it. As I explained in my previous post, I finally figured out the hard way none of this was true and our continued conversations exposed that, yes, she does wear perfume and she doesn't wash her clothes often so the perfume is all over her clothing all the time. I foolishly believed her lies and started getting sicker with each exposure.

I explained ad nauseaum how her stink affects me, why the stink on her clothes would take a minimum of twenty washings to get it out (if it ever would), how the stinky laundry detergent she wears is toxic, or her hand soap and body wash or deodorant makes me sick, and how we could no longer be around each other because she's killing me. I've explained how her husband who has some serious autoimmune diseases is probably affected by her stink. Here is her latest email:

Fragrance has always been sort of my thing.  Many of my fondest memories are triggered by fragrance.  I can remember my Grandmother wearing White Shoulders, so I wear that fragrance when I am going to spend time with my granddaughter.  My Mom wore Shalimar, and my husband buys me Chanel that I wear for special occasions. 

So, if I wear perfume on a Tuesday, take a fragrance free shower on Wednesday, can we visit with masks on?

I do have a question. Does fragrance free include things like laundry soap, shampoo, body wash, hand soap, air freshener, etc? 

I don't even know how to respond to this without screaming in full caps. Is she braindead because of the perfume and that is why all previous conversations we've had went in one ear and out the other? Why does she think I give a shit about her memories as if it justifies her need to poison me and everyone around her? What do I say about her self-centeredness? Her stupidity? Her dishonesty? Her life-threatening disregard for me? Her shallowness that makes her think choosing fragrances over friendship is somehow admirable? But she wants to be friends? Really?

I need to remember if anyone mentions they wear perfume to walk away and not believe a thing that comes out of their mouths! People are so disappointing and exhausting to me!

Fragrance vs. Friendship

I hate my neighbors. The bad dog owners who's dogs bark all day while they are at work or on vacation, the backstabbing betrayals, the gossips, the adults acting like teenage deliquents, the fruit thieves, the entitled. I do everyting in my power to avoid them, nevermind most them are scented with stink. I live as if I'm on a deserted island visiting far away places when I need a friendship fix.

My new neighbor moved in last year. I was so thrilled when the old neighbor moved away and took her barking dogs and sky rats with her I would have embraced anyone who replaced her. I watched my new neighbor. She has a dog. I waited to see what kind of dog owner she was. The dog never barked. That says a lot! She hung art OUTSIDE her house. OMG! She must be my people!

On Valentine's Day I sent her and her husband a Valentine's Day card and welcomed them to the neighborhood. We began communicating via email using the pandemic as a reason not to meet in person. Her first comment was I am the nicest person in the neighborhood. I told her the whole rest of the neighborhood would probably disagree. I started running into her at the park while she walked her dog. I couldn't help myself and with the instructions we wear masks and social distance, I invited her over for tea. I did explain I was chemically sensitive so no fragrances are allowed. She said she would comply.

Tea was lovely. I showed her around my house, my art, and gave her a watercolor that she loved. Yes, we failed miserably at social distancing, but I had covid and she was vaccinated so I threw all caution to the wind. We took our masks off to drink tea, but then replaced them immediately. I am still worried if I can get the latest covid variant so I'm being very cautious.

As we shared our life stories, our discussion turned to chemical sensitivity. She confessed she wears perfume. She LOVES perfume. She couldn't live without perfume, but she was taught not to wear it in public and she definitely would never wear it around me. I had a bit of a panic. In my experience, perfume wearers are dangerous. Life threatening. They always fuck up and forget. But I wanted her as a friend. I adored her. I needed someone in my immediate vicinity for support. Could she be a friend?

After she left, I removed my maks and went back into the house. It reeked strongly of laundry detergent. I got out all my fans and air purifiers and cussed at my stupidity. Severe migraines lasted for three days. Mental note: she's not allowed in my house again. I talked myself into thinking wearing masks outside might shield me from future misery, but I had a bad feeling this friendship might be short-lived. We'll take one day at a time and I will enjoy her company until the end.

We emailed constantly sharing our art and our daily existence. I volunteered to feed her cat one weekend when she went out of town. While in the house my mask slipped down and I realized after one inhale her house reeked of toxic perfume. I made a note never to go into her house. 

She got a new, hyperactive, adorable puppy and I began to help her walk her dogs. After our walks we would visit six feet apart in her backyard soaking in the sun and talking about everything. She kept saying she was replacing her scented products with unscented, and she wasn't wearing perfume very often. It was SO FUN to have a friend and I had hoped with time and enough education she would eventually be totally fragrance-free. Her husband has a debilitating autoimmune disease. I carefully mention her perfume and scented products could be making him worse.

The back pain started in March, but I didn't associate it with chemicals. My lungs would feel painful. Breathing was sometimes difficult. These symptoms I associated with covid long-hauler side effects, but they went away for a while returning in...the summer? Really? It still didn't register. What about the constant, but minor coughing? Then my throat started feeling inflammed. For a month. It got so bad my doctor thought it was strep throat. WHAT? Strep throat doesn't last a month...does it? I start going down the rabbit hole testing my thyroid and my lungs.

My chest x-ray showed scarring and my doctor says, "Have you had any lung diseases in your past?" Oh, for god's sake! We are in the middle of a pandemic! She actually has never asked me if I had covid and I don't see the point in sharing since the medical community is incapable of knowing what to do with covid. But what about the "borderline hyperinflation"? Normally that would be caused by asthma or COPD. Hmmmm...

So my new neighbor-friend and I are on a dog walk, I share my test results and tell her lung hyperinflation is probably caused by chemical sensitivity since chemicals impact my lungs.  I mention she's really the only person I've been seeing lately because of the pandemic. She off-hand says that she's still using perfume, but I'm wearing a mask so how could I be exposed? I tell her about the migraines I had after she left my house one day. She said, "No way!" (I hate being discounted.) I also tell her humans inhale through their eyes and skin. She laughed and replied, "I guess I'll have to stop using Dove soap." I stared at her dumbfounded. OMG.

I pondered all the facts overnight and became angrier with each minute as I realized how much in denial I have been in just to keep my new friend. She's been poisoning me little at a time over the past few months and I blamed it on anything but her stink. Soap, laundry detergent, lotions, and perfume. She also said she wears the same clothes over and over again before washing them. She's killing me.

I resisted the next step. I hate losing friend over chemical sensitivity. I eventually told her I can no longer be around her if she isn't fragrance-free. As I assumed, she didn't understand "fragrance-free" means FRAGRANCE-FREE. And as usual, she's not willing to give up her scented products. Fragrances are more important than friendship.

I'm trying not to be utterly disappointed and depressed. I knew it would come to this. People who use fragrances don't have a clue. There is no hope. It's useless to donate a box of unscented products in hopes of converting them. I know. I've wasted money before doing just this. They are addicted. I think she'd actually have to go through rehab in order to be my friend and then of course, wait six months to get it all washed out of her clothes and her house de-perfumed.

FIGS!!

 After five years of no fruit, my fig tree is finally producing! Large, sweet, decadent figs! They are absolutely gigantic! Whoo hoo! I'm so excited!

Scented Supplements

Yes, you read that title correctly. Manufacturers are now scenting bottles of supplements. Why you ask? Because stink sells and we all need our supplements to stink like yummy dessert food so we want badly to eat them by the handfuls. (I will refrain from my tirade on the evils of supplementation....)

Here are some benefits of ScentCerts straight from the ScentSational Technologies website:

Benefits

• Masks and improves malodors of products
• Delivers brand-enhancing aroma to unpleasant or odorless products
• Increases consumer acceptance and compliance
• Significantly outperforms flavored ingredients & coatings
• Extends shelf life with long-lasting stable aroma
• Grows product sales and drives brand preference

The stink is embedded in either the lid of the supplement container or as a gel capsule insert. The website claims the additive is all natural, but customers from the MCS community are complaining wondering why their supplements which should be improving health are making them sick.

 Hmmm...so who do I believe: the money-making promoters or chemically sensitive people, the canaries? How can it possibly be "natural" if it extends shelf life with long-lasting stable aroma? The Masks and improves malodors of products is seriously suspect. We've all smelled vitamins. If this scent has the power to mask it, how? Natural orange flavors aren't going to do it. I believe they are using natural products as they say, but what else are they adding that is not being disclosed? 

Most importantly, I resent manufacturers assume I'm such an ignorant customer I need to be manipulated with stink in order to buy their product.

For more horror, please visit their website..

Let's Make Paint Even More Toxic!

I've been painting a lot lately, using low-VOC indoor house paint only because I have so much leftover paint from painting my indoors. I'm using it for art and definitely wearing protective gear: N95 mask, gloves, and paint clothes.

They are now calling ALL indoor house paint low-VOC. It's the latest sales trend, the latest customer bamboozlement. "Low-VOC" in the paint industry is like "natural" in the food industry. It really means nothing. It just sells because people believe it's healthier. What a crock.

So I'm in Home Depot looking at paint, asking about the difference between two formulas, and questioning which is less toxic. The saleswoman gets excited, grabs this little package off the display and says how she can't wait to try this. Hmmm...

"Scent" says it all. Immediately I'm backing away. It's seems now you can add a package of perfume to your can of paint and scent it! It's made by PPG which I am informed is a Glidden product. The package she's showing me is scented vanilla essence and the instructions "Add contents to any one gallon of paint to eliminate unwanted odors or refresh a room." The thought makes me sick to my stomach.

After I grimace, throw my hands up in defense, and make gagging noises as I am backing away, the woman confesses she doesn't do well with perfume. I ask her what she thinks this is? Toxic scented chemicals that may render her room unlivable? She says, "Oh I don't plan to test it on a wall. I'll paint something small." 

OK. Have fun with that.

It never ceases to amaze me how manufacturers keep coming up with creative ways to kill us with toxic chemicals and why these products so passionately appeal to the stupid...

I made the mistake of holding the package of Scent to read the instructions and see if they had ingredients listed. Of course not. I noticed while walking out the store my hands stunk. Thankfully I had some hydrogen peroxide hand sanitizer in my car and then raced to grocery shopping to wash my hands properly. It stinks right through the packaging.

The Fantasy Garden of Happiness Room

Is anyone having lots of pandemic fun? Boy, I am! After painting so many of my interior rooms in bright, happy colors, I was exhausted and finished. Then I had some more extra free time and tackled the "mud room" or back door entrance. Door landings and entrances I believe are a free-for-all: they are "through" rooms. No one sits in the room and stares at the walls so as far as I'm concern, anything can happen! 

It was previously painted with a floral pattern, but the walls are wood paneling and unfortunately, many years ago I received very bad advice  on how to prep them and vibration from nearby semi-trucks caused the seams between the panels to crack over time. The walls needed to be redone. I found out the proper method is to use flexible caulking, prime it with exterior flat white, and then paint whatever you want. I already had the exterior paint for my house's trim and all the leftover paint from the other rooms. I decided to create a fantasy garden to match the floor at the front door landing. Zero cost, but very time consuming. I got a little crazy. It reminds me of a circus especially the ceiling. So cheerful!

Ceiling

I really want to paint this door RED!

I did! Love the RED!

2020: Review and Resolution

 OMG! Where does one even start with the year 2020? 

THE GOOD STUFF:

BYE-DON! Dump lost; Biden won. I can't even explain what a relief this is. And we have a woman vice president. It's about time.  I can now go back to not stressing about politics and feel confident that adults will be back in charge very soon!

FREEBIES. I wrote a recent post on my hoarding. It's such a joy and practically the only public entertainment I have lately. Most recently I acquired a blender. It was ugly, formerly white, covered in old black and brown dried food. Nasty. Scary nasty. I brought it home and plugged it into an outlet outside. That's how scared I was! It worked. I kept my mask on, wore gloves, carefully carried it to the kitchen sink and with all kinds of tools (tweezers, Q-tips, scrubber pads, soap, rubbing alcohol...) worked on it for two hours. It now looks like new. SCORE! Love it. I wish I would have taken a "before" photo, but I was afraid of contamination!

FORCED SECLUSION. I love it! I love it that we are expected to stay in our houses and people aren't wandering around wearing their stink and poisoning everyone as much as they used to. I love there isn't as much air pollution. I love it the animals want to come out in the open since humans have disappeared. I love I no longer feel like a weirdo secluded in my house when everyone else is free and bragging about how free they are all the time. I love the camaraderie of everyone's misery.

EMPLOYMENT. I'm still employed. In the spring when this pandemic started a lot of people didn't know what to do and many were told to go home and isolate which shut down a lot of businesses. This caused me to be on a lengthy staycation since no one was hiring me never mind I work from home and could very easily have kept working. Thankfully the people I work for figured it out, learned to work from home, and never went back to the office! Work is slow and I've lost money, but so thankful I'm still employed when some people aren't and have run out of options.

PAINTING. Or pandemic peace of mind. Or happiness. Or sanity. I've painted rocks, lamps, floors, rooms, bulletin boards, paintings, tables, switch plates...if it has a surface, it's calling for some paint on it.

CONSTRUCTION PROJECTS. I got a lot done this year: fixed my fence, replaced deck boards, and stripped and refinished my living room floor. At times finding supplies was a challenge with manufacturing slowing during the pandemic and finding the energy or know-how to do the work, but I persevered and got things done! The living room remodel inspired me to clean other rooms, reorganize shelves and closets and do a basic make-over. Then I painted my office. Next maybe the kitchen. One room at a time....

I seriously love this room now!

GARDENING. I downsized and cleaned the whole garden and added bark to the walks. Beautiful. It makes me feel happy and content, first, because it's nice to look at and second because there is so much less work now.

 

CHRISTMAS CARDS. Last year a friend sent me a recycled Christmas card she made. OMG! What a brilliant idea!  I love finding new art projects and I went a little crazy. I send maybe ten cards to friends and a few to my favorite businesses...sometimes...when I'm motivated, but I made about forty cards most of them snarky since that's the kind of Christmas card I like and can never find. Many were political since this is an election year. I ended up participating in an online art show, although that wasn't a great experience, it was still time-consuming and a distraction from the world around me while it gave me a voice to rant my complaints about society.

GLASS MOSAICS. I was determined to use up my supply of glass and the last of my large frames so I could STOP doing glass mosaics. Although I do enjoy it, it's a very expensive art form and dangerous. I got tired of my hands cut up and infected. I felt very productive and proud to accomplish so many with so little supplies!

Immersion

Life is Not the Beach

Male Privilege

Season's of Love: The Fall

TILE MOSAICS. I have been collecting free, brightly colored plates all year. I wasn't really sure why. I loved the colors, but had no idea what I would do with them. Then all of a sudden I was compelled to take a hammer and break them! Doing glass mosaics made me curious about tile mosaics, or, in this case, creating decorative frames from broken dishes. This is free glass so cuts down on cost and the edges are not so sharp so less dangerous. Pulverizing dishes with a hammer is exceptional for stress relief. I also needed some new, different and colorful wall hangings for my newly painted and colorful rooms. I was tired of painting. Not sure if I'm excited about this new media yet, but it was experimentally fun.

NEW STOVE! I waited fifteen years to get rid of the mismatched, rat-infested stove/oven that came with the house when I bought it. It lasted a good amount of time before it started having problems...during a pandemic. I waited for the universe to send me a free one, and I actually was offered a free, used one but it was too old and I didn't feel comfortable. I was told the old ones are energy suckers, and, of course, if it dies having it hauled away would cost. Many of the big-box hardware stores' products were back ordered to next summer, but I found this outstanding small, mom-and-pop appliance store that had exactly what I wanted. The customer service was outstanding, the FREE delivery was outstanding, and the FREE haul-away-the junk was outstanding. What an outstanding experience. So rare these days! Merry Christmas to me!

FRAGRANCE-FREE FRIENDS: I am so thankful for my friends. One drove hours to deliver food to me when I was sick. Another drove hours to visit. Another bought art from me which helped my finances. I so appreciate their online conversations, support, and constant advice when I am in need. Thank you!

LIFE!!!!!!!! I AM ALIVE!

THE IN BETWEEN STUFF:

CONSTRUCTION WORKERS. I started running out of time and energy and hired two sleazy, lying workers to help remove and replace fence posts. What a waste of money! I know better, but I was worried I wasn't going to get it done and the fallen down fence repair was a priority. They did save me a lot of time and effort, but the expense was outrageous. Such a waste of money.

THE BAD STUFF:

THE PANDEMIC. Duh. It goes without saying. It's affected everyone on the planet and most would say this is the worst year in their lives. Even if we haven't experienced death or near-death illness first-hand, we are surrounded by it. The stress has infiltrated every facet of our existence. People are on edge either fighting to stay safe or fighting for their perceived personal rights. We are at each other's throats. We are inconvenienced in every way. Our health is constantly on the line as access to medical care is limited since all resources have gone to fighting this pandemic. Grocery shopping is a pain in the ass. Supplies are inaccessible. Going out in public is risky. Lack of income is affecting our ability to pay bills. This is all common knowledge by now. I had the coronavirus in the spring and continue to experience side effects that may or may not be serious, but thankful to be alive. My income suffered, but not nearly as much as others who have lost their jobs and/or homes. I'm so tired of the whiners complaining about how many parties and family functions they can't attend or how bored and lonely they are as if they aren't complaining about my normal chemically sensitive lifestyle. (Damn, I miss concerts!)

COVIDIOTS. For instance, my neighbors who send their grandkids to play outside my house during a pandemic. REALLY? A friend of mine went to a big family wedding and then had a big family Christmas gathering. People are tired and have stopped caring which also makes them apathetic to everyone around them. We live in a very self-serving world. I could list a million examples of the stupid, but more than likely you've seen them in the news or in your own neighborhoods.

DUMP. That incompetent, foolish, fake president needs to go away and his silly, unprofessional, immature, sociopathic antics need to go with him. Take all the white supremacists and treasonous GOP, too. His entitled family and rich cronies need to vanish. May they all disappear. I'm so tired of looking at his face or seeing constant complaints about him. Really tired of his ignorant, racist followers.

THE WAR. Yellow jackets, mice, rats, ants. Good lord. It's never-ending!

So...the year has sucked, BUT honestly, I look at this list and it's been a really good year for me!

New Year's Resolution....Simple....Just survive.

Hitting the Wall

The title has everything to do with walls, but no, I didn't actually hit my beautiful, newly painted wall. I love my newly painted room(s) so much I hesitated hanging anything so I got the bright idea I'd create matching art. First, the lamp:

Then I wanted more of this design and I became obsessed. The wall space behind the lamp needed something hanging since there is a nail there already.

So I'm loving my Happiness Room living room and loving the crazy patterns I'm creating, but I look at my office with the old olive green drab colors and think, Oh! It's a small room! It wouldn't take long to paint! I WANT MORE HAPPINESS IN MY LIFE! I bought another can of Horizon non-toxic interior Latex. Never mind how poor I am. The woman at the paint store asked what I wanted to call it. I said "Pandemic Purple". She tilted her head and looked disapproving. "Virus Violet?" She said, "How about lilac? I really like lilacs." We started talking about our love of lilacs and I failed to notice she overrode all my naming suggestions and went with "lilac". OK. Like a crazed painting maniac, kept painting.

(Ignore the olive green checker floor. I hope to have it stripped and refinished next summer and look just like the living room floor. And the blue in the kitchen...that's be gone sooner than later.)

And, of course, I need to paint my bulletin boards to match. Oh! And my art table! I've always wanted to paint the top of the art table! I keep painting...

The problem with painting all these accessories is I'm using a lot of the Latex interior paint samples which are NOT non-toxic. I know I have an expiration on how much I can handle, usually about two weeks, but it's been over three months since this all started and I'm feeling fine and overconfident. I've been wearing my mask, using gloves and being safe. Then I forgot to wear my mask. And then I wore a mask not good for chemicals. Then I hit the wall. My body became overloaded and unable to function. 

It started with back pain (liver) and like a brain-dead fool I kept asking myself, Is it something I'm eating? Then finally after days of working on the art table, I'm hit with insomnia, nerve oddities, and I'm feeling exhausted but up until four in the morning and again, I ask, Is it something I'm eating? You'd think I'd learn by now.  I kept painting because it's almost done and I just want it done. This is my office so I need to finish and then offgas the room so I can use it again, but the side effects become unbearable and it's clearly the paint. I start experiencing incredible nausea, head spinning, lung pain, and my teeth start hurting. I also urinate all night long every hour, but I do that when I eat something toxic, too. The side effects get worse and wearing a mask longer makes a difference. This is a poisoning. I stopped.

I moved the unfinished art table and bulletin boards to the sealed Happiness Room to air out (I really need my office which is also my entertainment center), and air all the rooms with fans alternating with heat. Immediately I was able to go back into the office without being hit with nausea.

I hit the proverbial wall. I'll wait a few weeks to unload the toxic body overload. I'll take a lot of hot baths, drink a lot of water, drink lemon juice, drink and eat beets and apples, go for fresh air walks, and stay away from paint! Maybe. Eventually I'll have to finish the table and bulletin boards and a lamp for my office and switch plates, oh! the living room needs another painting...and...and...and! And I have one more room to go...the kitchen!! Painting is my addiction.

ARGH!

Three days without painting I was fine and vowed to be very diligent about wearing a mask and keeping safe: