Mother Nature and Monsoons

I love monsoon weather with the rain beating so hard on your house you can barely hear yourself think. I feel safe inside knowing I've worked to keep this house rain-proof and construction-sound to weather nearly anything Mother Nature throws this way. About six years ago we had a storm with 123 mile per hour winds. My 93 year old fortress stood strong.

I like it less when it all creates more construction work and expense for me:

My poor, poor newly stained fence bit the dust...what you can't see is the rest of the fence flapping in the wind. It's very disturbing. I feel like the perimeter is breached and my security compromised. Sigh. I do remember laughing to myself when I was staining it and noticing all the rot that at least when it collapses it'll look good. It does look good - even horizontal!! My newly painted porch is soaked, still lovely, and no longer slippery. Painting it was a good plan.

The Winter War is here. It's a never-ending battle. I can't wait until summer.

Murder She Wrote

I'm feeling really badly about this.

I tried all summer to kill the yellow-jackets that have moved into my walls or roof through the little hole underneath the outside molding. Those homemade traps didn't work. They caught a lot of flies but the yellow-jackets didn't care. I filled one with some really nice homemade wine, and they still didn't care. I resolved to live and let live as long as they weren't hurting me. Yellow-jackets are good for gardens as they eat the bad bugs, or so I've heard. I also read when the winter freeze sets in they will all die anyway. Then someone told me because our winters have been so warm they might just hibernate and never die.

And then they started getting noisy. In the middle of the night. A purring, humming, almost like a soft woodpecker staccato only one hundred times faster. Off and on all night. Sometimes during the day I could hear them when I'm on the computer. That made me nervous. Are they trying to bore through the wood walls into the warmth of my house? What happens if they break through? Will I have to have my whole house fumigated? That can't happen. What I would do with a house full of mean bugs.

So I called the local exterminator. Nice guys. Of course they told me their pesticides were non-toxic. Yeah, right. I took precautions anyways, stuffing towels under my doors and around the wall where the stingers lived just on the other side. Because the hive couldn't be seen or reached, the exterminators said they would use a dust that covers the entrance so when they fly in and out it would kill them. No huge fumes. Still, I knew better.

The boss man was training a new hire, explaining in great detail what is to be done and why. It was fascinating. And then he retrieved this little blower to blow the dust. It had dust in it already, but he was unsure if it was the right dust for the yellow-jackets. To test it he opened the blower and SNIFFED IT! I was horrified! I tried to explain to him that was not a good practice. He laughed. Again, I tried to tell him he won't be laughing when in the next couple years he's diagnosed with lung or brain cancer. Pesticides were developed to kill. It's really not smart to purposely sniff poison! He laughed anyway. These young boys think they are immortal.

So they poofed the dust in the holes. The yellow-jackets went insane, buzzing loudly, and flying crazy. Then they all dropped or disappeared. I watched trying to keep a safe distance, but I think I might have got a whiff of it as my lungs started feeling heavy. It's been two hours and my lungs still feel heavy. It amazes me these companies think their killing chemicals are safe, but if you want to kill something, it works.

I feel sad for them. They are just trying to exist in this world like every other creature and here I am poisoning them with chemicals that would poison me.

I'm glad I'm not a yellow-jacket, but most of the time I feel like one. Irritable, mean, just trying to survive, and sensitive to toxic chemicals.

October Movie Reviews

5 stars: Awesome enough for multiple viewings
4 stars: Great
3 stars: OK
2 stars: Tolerable, but not suggested
1 star: Blah, don't even bother

Age of Adaline  is about a woman who was in a car accident in the 1920s and never ages. Every ten years she must move and change identities so as not to be discovered. This involves never getting involved with anyone, or the classic theme love makes life worth living. Can you imagine being thirty years old for the rest of your life? I assume she doesn't get sick either, but they didn't get that detailed. I didn't like Blake Lively's whispery voice. It sounded too fake although maybe she was going for a certain early 20th-century-style in diction? I don't know. She made up for it with great evening gowns and that swishy, butt-wiggle walk. Great story, great acting, and great characters. Harrison Ford had a good, but minor role. We rarely see him anymore. ****

From Here to Eternity is a 1953 classic with Montgomery Clift, Burt Lancaster, Deborah Kerr, Donna Reed, Frank Sinatra, as well as an all-star cast of supporting actors. I saw it in the library and realized I'd never seen it before, although I've seen plenty of spoofs on the beach scene. In its day it was a huge hit garnering 12 Academy Awards including Best Picture, but to modern viewers such as myself, it's excessively melodramatic. Frank Sinatra was SO SKINNY, and oddly enough he sang one song and not very well, I might add. How did that little runt get to be so famous? ***

Goats is about a teenage boy who basically raised himself while living with a new age wacko mother. And Goat Man (played by David Duchovny), the pseudo pot-smoking father figure who has lived in the pool house for as long as he can remember who takes him on goat treks in the Tucson desert and grows pot in the greenhouse. His wealthy father lives on the east coast but has been absent for most of his life. The kid goes off to prep school. It's dysfunctional at it's most dysfunctional, but the kid is a survivor. David Duchovny is unrecognizable as Goat Man with a long hair and beard. He's always so odd it's entertaining. ***

The Men Who Stare at Goats was a very strange movie about psychic warfare with Ewain McGregor, George Clooney, Kevin Spacey, and Jeff Bridges. Too weird yet boring for me. *

The Village Barbershop is a movie about a barber in Reno who's wife dies, and then his business partner dies. He's a bit of an idiot when it comes to business and finance and he's not very personable. He likes routine and gets out of wack when someone messes with his precise schedule. He begrudgingly hires a woman with a whole set of problems of her own. That description makes it sound like a comedy. It wasn't. It was more a human drama about daily existence and how our lives and perceptions change with the people we encounter. It was a bit slow, plodding along at a snail's pace, but good characters. Normal people doing normal things. ***

Not many movies this month - I ran out of ideas. Then I had this wild idea of binge watching seasons of ER. I can't believe I've never seen this television show ever in my life. For years I never knew who George Clooney was. I definitely understand all the hype now, but that Noah Wyle is so adorable...I'm on season three now. It's good, fast-paced, human-drama with interesting characters. For a prime time television show on a major network, I can certainly see how it got all those Emmys.

 

Can you believe it's already November???

I Have TILT?

Or is it:

I am TILTed?

I feel TILTed?

TILTed I am?



I just read this great article on chemical sensitivity called Allergic to Life .  It was written a couple years ago but addresses gene mutations that might contribute to chemical sensitivity and brain scans that show evidence of physiological changes when exposed to poisons. I like that it indicates some progress is being made with research even if it's just this one person.

The researcher's ultimate goal is that doctors become more aware and educated so they understand how to identify those with chemical sensitivities and, therefore, provide better care. The article also addresses the naysayers who believe it's all mental which, of course, causes so much controversy it stops medical community acceptance right in its tracks. My cynical self thinks breaking through the narrow-mindedness is impossible.



And then there is the electric shock therapy some claim "cure" MCS. Whoa! I can't wait to sign up for some of that!

Of course, it's time for another terminology change. No longer Multiple Chemical Sensitivity, Environmental Illness, or Sick Building Syndrome,  it's now called "Toxicant-Induced Loss of Tolerance" or TILT. Like a pinball game? Hmmm...MCS survival is a bit of a game. Does this mean I have to change my blog name to TILT Survivor? Maybe "TILTed". I like that. It expresses how I feel most of the time.


If the abbreviated link above doesn't work at any point in time, here is the actual link:

http://discovermagazine.com/2013/nov/13-allergic-life

WHY Are You Not Listening to Me, AGAIN AND AGAIN?

I found another naturopath who is closer to me so she's only a three hour trip instead of eight hours. It's a little bit of an improvement. She also offered a fifteen-minute "meet-and-greet" so I could ask questions, scope her out before spending the big bucks. I figured I could ascertain if she was capable of listening.

My "meet-and-greet" consisted of Can you treat a patient without drugs? Do you have ANYTHING in your protocol other than drugs? I went into great detail about my drug intolerance and the many years of misery due to doctors who don't get it. In detail I defined the scope of what I call a drug: prescriptions, supplements of any kind including but not limited to herbs, vitamins, minerals, enzymes, amino acids, flavonoids, weird-ass antioxidants, and any food that acts like a drug (caffeine, herb-ish plants).

She claimed she did have alternative treatments. She mentioned a more in-depth analysis of the gene mutation interpretation that might offer some answers and options. She talked about energy treatments which I think are a waste of money but as long as they aren't drugs, she was answering my questions.

So I make the $175.00 appointment. On all my intake forms I write in bold letters, "I DO NOT DO DRUGS AND WILL NOT TRY DRUGS AS AN EXPERIMENT."

I know these appointments are more about my background than her diagnosis/treatment ideas, but as we get to the end all she's talking about are drugs. She keeps saying, "I know you said you don't take drugs, but...." She even tells me she doesn't see the point in having me do the gene mutation interpretations after all because all the related treatments are drugs. Hmmmm....and why didn't she tell me this during the meet-and-greet?

Her written treatment plan with everything she wants me to do has nine items. Other than "Go to the lab for blood work" and "Call me if you have questions", everything is a drug!

Are doctors incapable of thinking beyond poisoning patients? Have they been brainwashed into a drug culture and can't think out of their tiny, narrow-minded box?  Are they just all liars? Are they just trying to get me to spend money like any snake-oil salesman? Are they all brain dead and incapable of listening?

WHY DON'T THEY LISTEN TO ME?

Maybe I should lay down the law from now on: If you even mention drugs at any time for any reason, the appointment is FREE! LOL!

Car Shopping for the Chemically Sensitive

Chemical sensitivity makes car shopping hazardous! New cars smell of off-gassing plastics. Used cars smell of cleaning agents, air fresheners, cigarette smoke, stale perfume, or dogs. Salespeople or owners wear perfume or cologne. Dealerships smell of chemicals. The whole experience can be stressful, traumatizing and life threatening.

My last experience buying a car was ten years ago. I went from dealership to dealership and faced a number of perfumed salesmen and air freshened cars. Finally found my "farm van" sold to me by a rare fragrance-free salesperson, drove it home with all the windows down wearing a mask, and over the course of two weeks did everything possible to clean, sanitize, and de-fragrance it. Although they didn't use scented cleaners on the inside, they did clean the engine with incredibly toxic chemicals that infiltrated into the interior. I used vinegar, baking soda, and bowls of freshly ground coffee as natural air cleaners while I vacuumed it repeatedly. heated it, aired it out, and steam cleaned it with fragrance-free shampoo. It worked! I love my van. It provides a place to sleep should my house become contaminated, I use it for camping, and it hauls everything from rabbit manure to gravel to cedar wood chips to yard sale finds. It even moved me to my current residence. Unfortunately, it's getting old with 240,000 miles on it. I had no idea engines could last that long! I needed a backup vehicle.

Five years ago I started car shopping. I knew it was going to take a long time. Limited to three toxic exposures per day, it was a slow process, but I started smelling the interiors of cars. Most of the cheaper, economical cars like Toyota, Honda, Saturn, Kia, Hyundai, Fords, Chevys, and Nissans use cheap plastic for their interiors. One whiff and the migraines and nausea would start. I discovered only two cars I could tolerate well: Mini Cooper and the Smart Car. They still had a smell, especially new, but if used, the smell was hardly noticeable. The Mini Cooper dealership stopped using toxic cleaners and I found out they do not accept trade-ins with cigarette smoke or dog smell as the smells are impossible to eradicate. This gave me hope.

I test drove a Smart Car and although it was small and economical, both important requirements, the transmission shifting was noisy. It was whiny. It didn't seem to want to go very quickly and I hated the steering wheel shifting options. At eight feet long it was cute, but too small. A logging truck or semi would destabilize it by just passing by!

For years I test drove Mini Coopers. I think they are adorable and they handle well with touchy steering wheels and brakes. Unfortunately, I wasn't sure I would like the excessive shaking over bumpy roads and what seemed like a lack of visibility with some of the models. I was told I'd get used to it, but these cars are twice as expensive than others. I shouldn't have to get used to it. The last test drive I noticed the dashboard was rattling. The salesperson told me that's normal with all Minis. Hmmm... Maintenance is 20-30% more than regular cars and insurance way more expensive, too. Several salespeople offered to scout used ones for me, but no one came through. I think they prefer selling the high priced brand new ones to rich people. Of course.

When I gave up on the Mini Cooper, I felt at a loss for what to do. My mechanic suggested a Scion. I'd never heard of a Scion. They are made by Toyota. I happened to drive by a Toyota dealership early on a Sunday morning and thought I'd just go look. I just wanted to see what they looked like although I was still worried about the smell of cleaning solutions and new cars are out of the question. The manager was there and he suggested shopping for the newly-traded-in-but-not-detailed-yet cars. Brilliant! I found one car that had no smell, but it was a larger size sedan. I want a small car. This plan of action, however, was motivating.

The next day I drove to the city for some car shopping. I asked five different dealerships if I could shop their newly-traded-in-but-not-detailed cars yet. All but one said NO as it was against their policy. OK, I guess I won't be buying their cars!

Then I visited the Toyota dealership, asked the very eager, newly-hired salesboys if they were wearing cologne. One of them immediately looked disappointed so I knew he was definitely smelly. Live and learn young salesboy! But the other one said quickly and cheerfully, "I'm not!!" He grinned from ear to ear. So adorable. I asked about the newly-traded-in-but-not-yet detailed cars and he said, Sure! Whatever you need! My new, young, adorable salesboy took me to the secret lot where they hid the newly-traded-in-by-not-detailed-yet cars. Unfortunately nearly all of them were white and had way more than 100,000 miles on them. Nope. I don't do white, black, red or silver. Please! I need a pleasing color!

The next day in my little town I saw a purple car. I knew it wasn't a Smart Car since they don't come in purple. It was a Scion IQ! A Smart Car made by Toyota! Wasn't that the make my mechanic suggested? I'd never even heard or seen this model before. So cute! I did some online research. They are about 2 feet longer and sturdier than a Smart Car, better engines, with great gas mileage (35 to 40 mpg). And, of course, made by Toyota. However, Toyota discontinued the IQ last year due to disinterest. I picked my favorite color (blue), found a photo, and placed it on my desktop. I figured this was good karma.

My next trip into the city I decided to stop at the Toyota dealership, sneak into the back secret lot to see the newly-traded cars...and there it sat: the exact car that was my desktop photo! A blue 2012 Scion IQ with only 37,000 miles! It was just returned as a lease that day, but the dealership hadn't decided if they would buy it for re-sale. I knew it was my car! Unfortunately, they knew I felt this way, too, along with my special needs that I made plainly clear. I paid more than I think I should have, but as I've said time and time again, chemical sensitivity is expensive.

Although it wasn't detailed with the smelly carpet shampoo, they did clean it and I think that involved using some kind of toxic cleaner. After driving it home without a mask (I forgot it!), I was very sick all night. Not a good way to feel after buying a car.

Currently I have baking soda and freshly ground coffee in it soaking up the stink, but I can drive it wearing a mask. I am also heating it up and airing it out repeatedly, as well as using an air purifier. It's always a risk but I have confidence it'll be chemical-free with patience and effort.

I am still keeping my van for local transportation, hauling, and camping, but now by using the new car for long distance grocery runs, the van may last a little longer.

NEW BABY PHOTOS:

 

HOORAY!!
I have to admit I want to re-paint my house to match and buy a whole new BLUE wardrobe.

LOL!



Party Time!!

The dots have returned! 
 

Chair seat

I believe my anti-dot phase was just a temporary brain failure. I let those stripes stew for a couple days hoping I'd get used to them. I didn't. Blah. Blah. Blah. So I decided if I tweaked the polka-dot plan, maybe that would do the trick. And it did!

SO JOYFUL! I love it!

 

 

I'm calling it Confetti.

 

It feels like a party.



HOORAY!!

The Reality of Autoimmune Disease

This is an awesome article about what it's like to have an autoimmune disease:

 

http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2013/08/26/whats-wrong-with-me

 

 

 More specifically, what it's like to have Hashimoto's.

 

Love her writing style and her turn of words:

 

“…multiple autoimmune diseases - each slowly developing, in sequence, like a garden coming into terrible bloom.”

 

 I can totally relate to her experiences especially the incompetent doctors and loss of self.

 

I cried my way through the whole article.

 

I get it.

Punkin Babies

Happy Halloween! My pumpkins are few and small, but I grew them! I will eat them. Until then they will sit on my newly-painted porch and look really cute.

Anti-Dots

I'm worried. I have developed an aversion to dots. BUT I LOVE DOTS!? I put dots on everything. It's my signature! I'm like Dot, the cartoon girl who loves dots!

That dress is disturbingly short!

Lots of dots in different sizes.

 

 



Dots in different colors.

 

 

 



Dots on everything.

 

 

The porch I painted was supposed to have dots. Lots of dots. Dots on the edges. Dots on the background. Dots down the vines. Dots on dots. I painted them, then painted over almost all of them. What is the matter with me?

My latest painting project is a $1 chair I bought at a yard sale over the summer. I have not been motivated so I put off painting it for a long time. Any idea I had didn't feel right. I decided to paint it different colors like my stairs and then to load it with dots like another chair I have:

I tried three times to paint dots and each time wiped them off. So it's just stripes.

Just stripes. No dots. Not one dot. The thought of dots is repulsive. The stripes are screaming for dots, but I can't do it, but it doesn't feel finished. It looks plain. But I can't do dots!

Maybe it's brain trauma of some kind? Or maybe it WAS brain trauma and now my brain has healed? Or maybe now my thing is stripes?

 

I am perplexed...and disturbed.

Freebie Therapy

I've had a bad, bad week so I thought I'd post my latest freebie. Freebies tend to cheer me up. I was at the free store at my local co-op and thought I'd look just to kill time before an appointment. The free store is a place where people can donate items for others to take. Like a mini Freecycle. I've donated lots of stuff like business suits and shoes, scarves and jewels, books and frames, toaster ovens and rugs. The stuff disappears fast so there is a constant turnover. Normally I don't see anything I would want and there wasn't much there, but I needed something. I found a black 100% cotton cardigan with cute little buttons. I had to wash it a couple times, but it doesn't stink. The photo makes it look washed out, but it's not. It's just the lighting. I love black. It goes with all my black things. I'm not sure why anyone would donate it. Maybe they were tired of it?

Hooray for freebies!

September Movie Reviews

Five stars means I love it so much I will watch it more than once, four stars means it was great but probably won't see it again, three means it was good, two means it was tolerable but not great, and one star means I probably turned it off before it was over.

Black or White is about a grandfather (Kevin Costner) who has custody of his granddaughter since her mother, his daughter, died in childbirth. His wife dies unexpectedly in a car accident and the little girl's African American paternal grandmother thinks she needs to come live with her and her big family. Octavia Spencer plays the paternal grandmother who is raising most of her relatives kids. Although she's a strong, capable woman, she has a blind spot when it comes to her crack-addicted useless son. Costner...hmmm...granted he was supposed to be drunk throughout the whole movie, but it was more like he couldn't quite get his lines right. His timing was off. Interesting how both legal teams were constantly working their case around racism, but it didn't have anything to do with racism. People love to hate and love to promote hate. If they would put as much effort into getting along and working together, the world would be a better place. **

The Deep Blue Sea is an English movie about a woman married to an aristocrat. She falls in love with a dashing young man and leaves her boring life, but he doesn't love her as much as she wants, he forgets her birthday so she tries to kill herself. Absolutely weird. It was exceptionally melodramatic and the high pitched screeching of violin music nearly drove me insane. Rachel Weisz has really awesome hair. Great 1950's London sets and costumes. **

Gemma Bovery is a French movie with English subtitles about a baker who is fixated on literature. He lives in a beautiful little French village where the author of Madame Bovary lived and wrote his book. When his new English neighbors move in with the last name Bovery he imagines the very attractive wife to be a Madame Bovary character. He assumes, like Madame Bovary, she is bored with her circumstances. When she starts screwing the gorgeous young man who lives in the nearby chateau, it only makes the baker more obsessed with her. It has moments of subtle humor and the scenery is gorgeous. I'd love to live in France. ***

Glory is about the 54th Massachusetts Colored Regiment led by Robert Gould Shaw during the Civil War. Although I first saw this movie when it came out years ago, I recently read a book on Shaw and the 54th.  War is disturbing anyway, but the way they used to just stand there, lined up, out in the open waiting to get shot is a bit shocking. That would take a whole lot of courage. Shaw was only 27 years old when he was killed in one of the battles and he was buried on the battlefield with his soldiers. Outstanding story and movie. *****

Night at the Museum was about a newly-hired night guard at the Museum of Natural History where all the displays come to life at night due to some Egyptian curse. I loved the plug on the benefits of learning about history. It's a kid's movie, but the pace was fast and unlike so many adult movies I've watched lately, I never got bored once! It has an all-star cast with Mickey Rooney, Dick Van Dyke, and Robin Williams with Ben Stiller playing the lead character. It was all about conflict management and learning to work together. Great themes for kids. I love the T-Rex bones...he just wanted to play fetch. LOL! ****

Neighbors is about a fraternity that moves next door to a couple with a new baby. It was incredibly, repulsively stupid in every way possible EXCEPT Zach Efron is half naked most of the time. ***********

Redwood Highway is about an older woman who was put in a convalescent center by her son and is tired of everyone telling her NO all the time. So she walks 80 miles down the Redwood Highway to attend the wedding of her granddaughter. She reminisces about her own wedding, honeymoon, and memories as she makes memories with the people she encounters along the way. Outstanding scenery of the southern Oregon area which is spectacularly beautiful year round. It's a sweet, feel-good movie, maybe too sweet to be realistic or interesting. Can a son put his mother in a home without her permission? She was perfectly sane and healthy. Hmmm... Kind of reminded me of Wild and made me want to put a backpack on and walk long distance. I desire to make more memories. ***

Rewrite is about a famous Hollywood screenwriter, a "one-hit-wonder", who hasn't worked for a while because no one is interested in what he has to offer. He has lost all confidence in himself. As a way to pay bills, he gets a job teaching at a small, east coast college, but his "you can't teach talent" attitude and his cavorting with students old enough to be his children gets him in trouble. I like Hugh Grant. He's great at dry, sarcastic humor which was perfect for this story. He's aging (aren't we all) which I find disturbing. Celebrities aren't supposed to get old! It makes me feel old! He has such outstanding comedic timing and the lines he has in this movie are exceptional. Marisa Tomei is also great. It's heartwarming, and although it has a "teaching-is-a-rewarding-profession" theme, it is not sappy nor overdone. I enjoyed it. ****

Still is an English movie with the actor from Game of Thrones who plays Littlefinger. It's about teenage gangs: Are these hoods criminals or still children? One gang of thugs starts harassing this man, shoving excrement into his mailbox, calling him late at night and breathing into the phone, harassing him when he's walking down the street, banging on his door or screaming outside his house in the middle of the night, and leaving dead cats on his porch. I'm still not clear why he brought the bag INTO his house, dumping the rotting corpse into the bathtub, and then vomited uncontrollably. I realize it was just for effect or we'd never know there was a dead cat in that bag, but a sane person would have taken it to the garbage can to inspect the contents, with "inspecting the contents" not a requirement. He knew it was from the gang. He blows them off as just kids even though other kids in the neighborhood are getting killed by these sleazeballs, then their behavior escalates, and he takes action. And it's really good revenge action. He actually might have gotten away with it. It was a little slow, kind of depressing, but an interesting story. **

Unfinished Song is about a crotchety old man who doesn't seem to get along with anyone and who's cheerful wife sings in a choir because it brings her joy, probably the only joy in her life since she lives with him. Then she dies and he decides to join the choir. I like Vanessa Redgrave who plays the wife. It's incredibly sappy portrayal of grief which I found unbearable, but more irritating was the attitude of the man and his rude behavior toward everyone. Normally there is some epiphany, or disclosure behind the reason a character makes you want to hate them, but there wasn't. It was also extremely unrealistic to expect us to believe people who can't sing win a singing contest, but it was all about the sap with this movie. Realism took a back seat. **

Wild Tales is an Argentinian foreign film about revenge. Six very strange stories about people's perception of injustice and the last straw that pushes them over the edge. Some of it was rather funny, or sick, I guess, depending on how one looks at it. It definitely makes you think twice about ever being mean to someone as karma is a bitch. I liked the road rage story. The photography was at times outstanding, the way they framed shots, especially in the first couple stories. ***

Hooray for Fair Day!

I went to the fair last week with my best friend from high school. We both grew up in the neighboring town, but since neither of us had attended this event for years, we thought it would be a fun, nostalgic outing and worth driving over two hours for the experience.

We saw warehouse buildings full of salespeople, farm animals, carnival rides, and JUNK FOOD. Where did all that junk food come from? In the "old days" there were onion burgers, scones, ice cream, French fries and cotton candy. These were foods we waited to eat once a year. We were living dangerously.

Times have changed. I saw every manner of junk food a person could imagine and some unimaginable, booths of various poisons lined up and down the walkways with long lines of eager consumers.

There was even a "History of Candy" tent for the sole purpose of advertising the wonders of candy. I toured it. Lots of videos on candy production. Displays and photos of history. The propaganda was scary, like a bad movie. It made the viewer want to run to the nearest junk food booth and gorge on some candy. No mention of how it will rot your teeth, make you obese, and contribute to any number of diseases as it rots you from the inside out. I stayed for about five minutes before I realized the tent smelled like chocolate. CHOCOLATE? It took me a minute, then I looked around. There wasn't any chocolate in the tent to be bought or eaten! AIR FRESHENERS! I panicked and ran for the nearest exit! It's amazing how subtle it was, but enough to scare the life out of me.

The absolutely worse food booth was the one called TOTALLY FRIED where they deep fry anything that might be edible, or in my case, not edible. There was a t-shirt one could buy to advertise these bad dietary habits: "If They Fry It, I Will Try It". I was tempted to buy it. Here is a photo my friend took although, unfortunately, she didn't get the whole booth:

Please notice the bottom of the menu list:

SPAM AND VELVEETA CORN DOGS

 

almost as bad as

 

DEEP FRIED PEANUT BUTTER AND JAM

 

or

 

Deep Fried Snickers

 

 

Really? Why would anyone want to eat that?  I am so sheltered in my healthy, secluded lifestyle that I forget there are people out there who eat like this on a daily basis. It amazes me there were lines for these food booths and people walking around gorging on large tubs of twice-fried junk food.

 

It was like a trip to Hell...

 

 

I purposely word my posts so I can find ways to use my devils as illustrations.
They bring me much joy.

 

 

And then there were the little piglets that reminded me everything was right in the world:

 

 

 

It was fun, interesting, educational, shocking, and mostly outdoors in somewhat fresh air. Even with the candy tent poisoning, some perfume exposure, and eating ice cream from the dairy barn (!), I survived with little if any health consequences.

 

Hooray for Fair Day!



I Blame Hallucinogenic Drugs!

A friend of mine was over at my house, grasped the handrail for my back porch and broke it. Now, this handrail was garbage. It was made with found wood and hastily nailed in place to comply with insurance company demands. It was just for show, but over the years the rain has pummeled it into oblivion and it hangs precariously. Every now and then I hammer it back into place, but mostly I just ignore it.

I was in the house when it happened and heard him swear loudly. When I came out the door I asked, "What's wrong?" Then I noticed he was holding pieces of my handrail in his hand. I know he has a bad habit, like all construction workers, of grabbing and shaking things just to test their construction worthiness. He knows my construction efforts are questionable. I'm always hollering at him to not touch things. He knows it's a risk, but he ignores me.

"YOU BROKE MY HANDRAIL!!!"

He argued it was a piece of junk, and as he's frantically trying to point out the dry rot, I exclaim repeatedly,

"YOU BROKE MY HANDRAIL!!!" 

"But, but, it didn't work, I hardly touched it, I..."

"YOU BROKE MY HANDRAIL!!!" "OH MY GOD! YOU BROKE MY HANDRAIL."

I had fun harassing him.

The next morning I hear an unexpected knock. My friend is there with tools and supplies in hand and he plans to build me a new handrail! SCORE! It took him about fifteen minutes to finish. It would have taken me a whole day.

New handrail newly primed.

 

New anything is cause for celebration, especially if it's construction-related and free. After he finished, I practiced walking up and down the stairs testing my wonderful new handrail - one that actually worked and didn't wiggle. I think the insurance company would be very happy with it.

And this inspired a new painting project! The porch was pathetic and had not been painted for ten years, but it was low on my list of project priorities. Most of the paint had worn off the stairs, but I had always hoped I could replace it all with a new porch. And the handrail I just ignored. New handrails just inspire creativity.

I didn't want to repaint the brown lattice so I had to use brown in the design...I'm not fond of brown. I also knew I wanted to use dark teal and off white to match the house, and maybe an orange color to match the newly stained cedar fence. Orange is not one of my favorite design colors either, but I went with the idea. Also, this is the porch that gets the most use and is often dirty and muddy due to gardening so I needed a design that might camouflage that. Lots of visual.

Don't asked me what happened. I blame it on the weird colors I adopted. I planned one design, started painting, and hated it so I painted over that design. I was possessed, just free flow painting...it just came out. I admit it is one of my favorite flower motifs based on one of my favorite flowers, calendula, although it hardly looks like calendula. Giant floral motifs. Hmmm...

VOILA!

 

I have found people either love it, or hate it. One friend looked at it and accused me of taking too many hallucinogenic drugs. Every time he walks by it, he says that. I can tell he HATES it. LOL! I like it's weird. No one else in the world has a porch like this, although I admit if I were to do it over, it would definitely be different. Different colors. Live and learn!

 

 

I planned to put coats of polyurethane over it, but decided it might make the surface slippery and I don't want more sprained ankles in my future. Also, with all the layers of colors it might look really cool when it wears. And I can re-paint it if I get too tired of it. With polyurethane, I'd have to strip it.

The friend who made the hand railing approved. We now have an ongoing joke, if you break it, you fix it. He grabbed my nearly-rotted, newly-stained fence the other day and began to do his construction-expert inspection. Instead of hollering at him to not touch it, I told him to lean on it a little, because I need a new fence. LOL! He backed away. I said,

"Oh, no don't stop! Go ahead and grab it. Shake it vigorously!"

He backed away more. He's learning. I keep trying to get him to use my toilet too, so I can accuse him of breaking it. It needs to be fixed. Of course, I was at his house the other day using a tarp and it tore...I owe him a new tarp. Oops.

ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME??

My latest doctor I first saw about five years ago. She loaded me up with pills and I had bad reactions, of course. This time I spent almost an hour explaining in detail how I seem to have an intolerance to drugs of any kind. Did she listen? She seemed to get it, and we talked at length about alternative dietary treatments, but she also slipped in a few drugs just for the fun of it. I should have stood up and screamed immediately:

ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? 

But I didn't. I looked at the new drug, Low Dose Naltrexone (for inflammation) and with much anticipation for a miracle cure said, "YES! Let's try it!" I have realized this is how I contribute to the problem. They don't take me seriously because I give them conflicting messages.

However, this time I didn't jump on the drug bandwagon quite as enthusiastically as I have in the past. I AM learning! I ordered only two weeks worth of the LDN, just as a sample. On the third day I started having side effects: hip pain, neck pain, weird dreams, sleep problems, nausea, sweating, migraines and BRAIN DEATH. I lost all short term memory capabilities. And I was taking only one third of the recommended dosage. That stopped immediately.

Next I thought I'd try the Siberian ginseng from her list. This is to support the adrenals as the new doctor seems to think I'm having drug reactions because of adrenal fatigue. It is a common theory in the world of hypothyroidism that if your adrenals aren't working optimally, the thyroid drugs won't either or might cause problems. Still, I wasn't buying that adrenal fatigue was the cause of my drug intolerance.  First, I've treated any adrenal fatigue problem I might have before and it doesn't stop the drug intolerance problems nor does it make a difference with anything. Second, it's not just thyroid medication I have problems with. Third, I'm chemically sensitive and I am intolerant to drugs. Fourth, my DNA testing showed I have a gene mutation that causes detoxification issues which contributes to chemical sensitivity. The interpretation of my gene mutation clearly states I have a problem detoxing pharmaceuticals as does my latest gastrointestinal test. This seems clear to me. I can read these test results. Why can't she? I tried to explain this to the new doctor. Her response was, "I'm not sold on all this DNA testing." Again, I should have stood up and screamed:

ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?

Still, like the brain-dead patient I am (due to previous drugs), I dove right in and decided it's a good idea to poison myself again. However, I AM learning. I didn't buy pills. Instead I found an herbal shop that sold the real root for tea. I wasn't sold on the Siberian ginseng, but what I didn't realize is I have notes from taking it a few years ago. In my (faulty) recollection, I thought I didn't have a problem with ginseng. However, on the third day I had slight neck pain. Didn't think anything of it. The next day unexplained fatigue followed by slight depression, but again, I passed that off as minor as could have been caused by anything. I am my worse nightmare. I don't even listen to myself! I ended up running out of tea only to buy more and start again. The fatigue became unbearable with headaches, weird dreams, and extreme dizziness if rising too fast while gardening. Finally, I found my Siberian ginseng notes from a few years ago...same reactions then, right down to the bizarre gardening-induced vertigo.

I emailed the new doctor and explained AGAIN about my intolerance to drugs of any kind. She suggested when I come in for the next appointment she'll have to tweak the prescription and we'll experiment how best to take it because, hell or high water, she will make sure I'm taking drugs! Again, I wanted to scream:

ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?

Next on the list: thyroid. I am of the belief all my issues from foot/leg pain to kidney damage is related to my untreated thyroid issues. My previous doctor, the crazy one, was also treated to a lengthy description on my bad reaction to dessicated thyroid. Her response was, "OK, I"ll give you a prescription for dessicated thyroid." I should have stood up and screamed:

ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?

I went into great deal with my new doctor about the last four thyroid prescriptions and how they all nearly killed me, especially the dessicated thyroid. Again, I repeated my descriptions of drug intolerance. Her response was, "OK, I'll give you a prescription for dessicated thyroid." Again, I should have stood up and screamed:

ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?

Instead, I calmly explained AGAIN I had very bad reactions to dessicated thyroid and called attention to the fact every thyroid drug I've taken has had one thing in common, besides my horrible intolerance to them, they all have T3. Is it possible I am reacting badly to T3? Also, my T4 labs are low. Not my T3 labs. I also explained AGAIN Dr. Kharrazian's theory of hypopituitary caused by over medication. My side effects are exactly as he described and if I'm not detoxing the drug, I am being over medicated because my body is hoarding it.

She thought about that for a minute and prescribed just T4. Finally I felt heard. But it's like pulling teeth.

What is it that makes doctors not want to listen to me? It's such a waste of time to go into such detail and I'm ignored constantly. I have to explain details repeatedly, emphasize lab results, point to what I think is very obvious data I've collected throughout my health history with evidence from books and websites, yet they persist in following their own agenda. How many times must I repeat myself and correct their assumptions in order to get viable medical attention? And I'm paying THEM for this. I may need to start screaming:

ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?

Still, I need a doctor. If I start screaming at them, no one will want to work with me. I legally can't prescribe my own drugs. I am convinced I am drug intolerant because I am chemically sensitive. I don't detox chemicals whether they be chemicals found in food, air, water, or drugs. I hoard the chemicals in my body creating overload consequently creating more misery. This was diagnosed by an environmental specialist years ago and recently supported by DNA testing that clearly suggests I have a detoxification mutation. Still, I need my thyroid issues treated, if only to see if they alleviate the foot/leg pain and rectify the kidney damage. Untreated thyroid can also cause heart failure. I don't want my organs to start failing. Something must be done and I seem to be the only one who can do it.

I realize I'm on my own. I'm treating myself. I'm hoping my theories are right. So my new plan is to try the T3, but not take it every day in order to avoid overload. We'll see...