HAZMAT

Today I mailed a package.

The postal woman asked, "Is the item you are mailing perishable, flammable, or dangerous?

No. I mail enough packages to know the drill. I was half asleep.

"Does it contain biological substances, alcohol, aerosols, lithium batteries or perfume?"

No..uh, WHAT? Did you say PERFUME?

Did you know perfume is dangerous? It is believe to be the cause of airplane fires that have gone unexplained for years.

Whoa!

Finally, someone in authority, a government entity, [The United States Postal Service] has recognized perfume is dangerous! Because it's flammable, it can only be shipped domestically and transported via surface mail. The postal woman is required to label it with a HAZMAT warning and contain it in a special crate so everyone is aware of the impending danger.

 

 

She went on to tell me perfumes are 10% alcohol which is flammable. Of course I chimed in with, "All perfumes have toluene which is an ingredient used to make explosives!"

She said airline personnel make the final decision and sometimes they put all the hazardous flammables into one crate and transport them all together. Eeewww. I don't ever want to be on that airplane!

 

Of course, I didn't stop there, "Perfume is dangerous and it's about time someone finally admitted it. It's made from toxic chemicals yet stupid people want to put it all over their bodies. No one should wear it and I have yet to figured out why it hasn't been banned."

With eyes wide and full of fear, the postal lady nodded in agreement.

It's just a matter of time. I mean, how many people out in the general public have ever told you perfume is dangerous? Maybe next, people who wear perfume will be classified as spontaneously combustible terrorists!?  I say throw them all in prison!

This gives me so much hope.