Let There Be Light! (Closet Remodel, Part 2)

For nine years I've been hand-sawing wood with my $1 yard sale hand saw while dreaming of something a little more speedy.

 

I've always wanted a circular saw, but avoided buying one because I wasn't sure if I wanted to be weighed down with a garage full of tools. Where does a tiny home dweller store the massive numbers of tools they accumulate in the building of their tiny home if the whole point is to downsize? Man tools are heavy and take up space. Still, I'll need them if I want to build or repair anything. So I bought myself a new circular saw!

 

So awesome. A new toy that will save me all kinds of time and energy. And I picked out a lightweight model so I don't have to fight trying to control it. I've watched incredibly strong construction workers wield them with one hand, but there is no way I can hold a heavy board with one hand and handle an instrument with a sharp blade with the other hand. This one's a girl saw...lightweight and pretty! I've borrowed many circular saws over the years and they've all been used and well-worn. This one is clean and sparkly. It also has a laser light on it. Cool. It took me about an hour to read the instructions and figure out how to attach the blade and the whole time I was thinking it would take a construction guy about two seconds to do this! I got it working which made me giggle like an idiot and I practiced by making two cuts on a piece of 2 x 4 board, then...it stopped. Nothing! I was so disappointed. The laser light still worked so I knew it wasn't my newly remodeled outlets nor my newly remodeled extension cord. (I've been doing a lot of electricity lately. 'Tis the summer of electricity.) I ended up having to exchange the saw for another.

This is nothing new. Nearly every piece of equipment or supply I've had to return at least once. I returned one outlet three times because I kept buying the wrong type. The hardware stores are an hour's drive so any errors in judgment are not quickly remedied. It's very time consuming. I doubt if experienced construction workers do such stupid things. Still, this is how one learns and I'm learning a lot!

I added 2 x 4 boards to the top of the studs to support the ceiling and I ELECTRIFIED the closet!


Two by four boards added to support ceilings.

View without lamps because I bought the wrong type of lamp! UGH!

It wasn't easy. I thought I felt confident until I realized the old wiring didn't match the new wiring and I wasn't quite sure what to do with an extra wire. Then, of course, I realized I bought the wrong type of lamps and had to exchange those. UGH! With every electrical venture I end up bleeding. I keep stabbing myself with the screwdriver as I try to force the skinny, slippery, little wires into place. If I start to bleed, I know I'm doing it right. HA!

 

But I have electrified my closets!!  Yatna, the Courageous Menopausal Warrior is now an ELECTRICIAN!

So beauteous...like a light from heaven!

 

Next...the ceilings and walls!!

Closet Remodel: Let the Summer Projects Begin! (Part 1)

I have a list of projects I want to do this year: new heating, removing old heating, re-roof my garden shed, build a cement step, and line my closets. These are the extracurricular activities that keep me sane while living isolated in the middle of no where. My plans began weeks ago. Unfortunately it was in the middle of unloading supplies when I stopped to swing at bees and slammed my foot into the cement. Projects were delayed while the foot healed. I'm now ready to go!

This year the theme of my summer construction is: "Practice for a Tiny House." I figured since I'm not quite ready to start building a tiny house as I have no land to put it on, I'd learn some of the skills I'll need to know on my current house. I've often said this is my "practice house" and I've done some major screw-ups all in the name of learning.

 

I have two unlined hall closets at the stair landing on the upstairs level outside the bedrooms.

Right side.

 



Left side.



"Cantaloupe" (right side)



"Mango" (left side)

Yes, that slanted ceiling is the roof line and each closet has one side that is an exterior house side. Someone told me these closets were probably used for cold storage in the old days. I believe that. In the winter they are damn cold! I've never used them for anything so it would be nice to make them usable. And pretty.

When I first moved here both were lined with raw, formaldehyde-soaked, toxic fiberglass insulation although someone forgot to enclose it all with walls. I couldn't stand the thought of something so toxic so close to my sleeping area so I ripped it all out. I'm pretty sure throughout the years much of my winter heat has escaped through these closets. The floor insulation is still showing and anytime I go into the space my lungs and sinuses start hurting.

The second step was to use caulking and plug up the holes in the wood. Yep, you could see outside through the holes! They weren't big, but big enough for a bee, hornet, or spider to get through. (I can't even imagine what the rest of the house looks like!) The great thing about these old houses is they are built with good, solid, beautiful, un-treated wood. Another awesome thing about old houses is they breathe. They breathe because they aren't sealed up tight like new construction and that also makes the indoor air quality less toxic. Unfortunately, the breathability also means they lose heat and allow in all kinds of critters not to mention rain and weather. (Untreated wood means they are susceptible to house-eating bug infestations, but let's not talk about that and I'll continue to keep an eye on everything!)

My plan is to line the walls with insulation and cover it with paneling so there are real walls. Constructing walls is something I'll need to do with a tiny house so this will be good practice. I also plan to add lights to these closets. Learning electricity will be a huge challenge, but filled with enormous benefit. If I get electrically comfortable, I'll replace my own heating and not have to rely on electricians and heating guys who just don't bother showing up! I'm ready to do this! I am BRAVE!

So let's get started...

Someone on Freecycle gave me a half roll of free roofing felt/tar paper to line the walls (and to use on the garden shed roof). The cavities are all unevenly measured, something you might not find in a newly constructed house. Most houses these days are 16 on center so the 2 x 4 studs are spaced 16 inches a part. Tiny houses use 24 on center to reduce the weight of too much wood. The wall cavities in my closets are 12 inches, 14 inches, 14 1/2 inches, 15 inches, 22 inches, etc. Weirdness. Makes it really difficult to measure as there is no consistency.

Next step, add insulation. I've been reading a lot on different types of insulation. There are concerns when packing walls, floors and ceilings with filler: fire, mold, bugs, and chemical toxicity. Here are the types of insulation I've found so far and some of their properties:

Fiberglass with Formaldehyde  This stuff is as toxic as it comes, even cancer causing, but really cheap which is why it's so popular. It's also easy to install and has a ready-made plastic vapor barrier. I hate plastic. I will avoid this type of insulation.

Fiberglass without Formaldehyde This stuff is half as toxic, but I still don't want to breathe fiberglass particles. I had enough problems with my fiberglass-constructed heating system.

Cellulose Blow-in  Cellulose is made from recycled newspaper, cardboard, cotton, straw, sawdust or hemp. Yes, it's a natural product which makes it a huge fire hazard so to compensate it is treated with toxic ammonium sulfate. It also will slump in a wall cavity and mold, but I've heard it's good for flooring insulation, aside from the toxicity. It's normally blown-in so you have to own or rent a blower.

Denim This isn't recycled blue jeans that have been worn for years by people; it's denim remnants, or left over pieces of fabric from clothing manufacturers then treated with borates for fire and pest protection. I was really excited about this when I first heard. Who doesn't want to recycle? Unfortunately, I couldn't find a store that has it in stock as it must be specially ordered. What a pain. I got online and ordered a free sample swatch from a company. Then I was reading the blog of a chemically-sensitive tiny house builder who said after using this insulation she became sensitive to cotton. I've known people to be allergic to cotton, but everytime I hear of someone who says they've "become sensitive", it's usually because the cotton has been treated with chemicals rather than the cotton itself. Like my "organic" sheets. "Blue" jean material is dyed with some really nasty chemicals and then saturated, like most new clothing, with formaldehyde and other mildew resistant chemicals. This jean material wasn't well-worn and washed multiple times allowing lots of time for offgasing. It's brand new. Who knows what else they are doing to it once it's mushed up into insulation. Hmmm...I wondered about this. The sample arrived a month later. It has a nice feel and I stuck my nose into it. No strong smell, but it did give me a "ugh" feel. I also read denim insulation slumps and can have mold/mildew issues due to its weight. Tiny houses due to their small interior spaces can have condensation issues which can result in mildew/mold. It's also only 2 inches thick and most cavities are 3 - 4 inches so it doesn't seem very effective. It also comes in strange widths and some have complained trying to cut it and install it is a nightmare.

Wool  Wool is fire resistant, bug resistant, and mold/water resistant, but unfortunately it's really expensive. As high as ten times more than anything else. One company sells it for $35 - $59 (depending on the thickness) for one batt (about 12" x 22"). I think wool would be great if you had access to sheep and could get it free. I don't know if wool slumps nor if it's as effective as other types of insulation. Cob house people love using wool and it's natural.

 

Stone Wool  As I'm shopping the hardware stores, I came across Roxul Insulation. It's stone wool, or spun rock (?) with added recycled material although the type of recycled material is not listed. It's fire resistant, bug resistant, water repellent, and "planet-friendly" with certification for indoor air quality. They advertise its use for hospitals and baby rooms for noise resistance and low toxicity which caught my eye as well as having a fairly high insulating efficiency. The salesperson told me it was brand new in the store which accounts for why I've never seen it. It's also three inches thick. Great marketing campaign. Look at that sweet baby! Someone knows how to sell! So I get online to research what they might not want me to know. They use formaldehyde in the adhesives, but only 5-6% and the company claims it's is offgassed in the heating process. Right away I'm leery, but this product seems to be the most hopeful and I feel adventurous. It's about the same price as the pain-in-the-ass denim, but it's right in front of me so I don't have to special order it and of course, it's the same price as the wool insulation only I get 11 more batts! I come to the conclusion there is no perfect insulation and I'm working on these closets as an experiment so why not be brave and make some discoveries? If it all goes wrong I could rip it out and give it to someone else. I buy one bundle which is twelve 47" x 15" batts. I'm told by the salesperson to cut it with a bread knife as using an exacto knife would mangle it. Hmmm...OK. Weird, but in a cool way. I wore a mask and gloves because it still has an itchy, creepy feel. Cuts like butter, easy to install, and no smell at all! In fact, prior to its installation, being in the closet with the floor insulation made my lungs hurt, but once I got this stone wool insulation up, I didn't seem to have as much of a problem, but it still bothers me. We'll see once I get the walls up if it affects the air quality.

I pretty much gave up on getting a denim insulation sample so I bought the Roxul before it came. Here are the stone wool and denim side by side for comparison:

The denim is so much softer than the stone wool, not as scratchy and oily feeling, but it doesn't feel as strong or rigid. It's like cotton balls. Hmmm...I like it, but would it really work inside a wall? It seems to have sagging potential which I wouldn't like. The smell isn't strong, but this is a fairly small piece.

It looks like they are the same thickness, but the stone wool on is more compressed. It tends to expand more once out of the package. The denim is light and airy...like a big cotton ball. I wouldn't think it would be as efficient as the stone wool. I do like the idea it's recycled material, though.




Here is the stone wool insulation cut to perfect size and fitting snuggly. It even stands in place by itself and that makes it easier to install. I think the denim would be sagging all over making it harder to install. I think the stone wool was a good choice.

Then I had to consider what kind of wood for the lining. I didn't want anything that was treated or smelled. Everyone suggested cedar because it smells good and because of this popular for closets. Cedar is also fairly bug resistant, but I don't want smelly stuff. Cedar is also more expensive. Not only that I want to paint these closets to match the rest of the house which would negate the cedar-y smell. For a tiny house, I'd probably use knotty pine, but since these are closets I got the knotty pine panels which are a little thinner, but still wood. They are untreated and smell good to me, like wood.

Pine is so pretty! And this is without paint.

Thinner panels are cheaper, too, and cheaper means less quality, but I'm experimenting. For the second closet, I might be getting old tongue and groove oak flooring from a remodel job which I'm really excited about. I'll have to sand it down, but it's free so I'm not complaining. Of course, oak is awesome quality so I can't decide if I should use it for the second closet or save if for my tiny house. I'm interested in learning how to create a wall using tongue and groove wood, how it works, the best way to attach it, and problems I'll encounter.



See studs at sides? They don't go all the way up.

I'm already freaking out about how to attach the wood. Do I do the ceiling first or the walls?  Screws or nails? The studs up the walls are not flush with the center stud in the ceiling so how do I line up the ceiling panels? What is the best way to measure a wall that is the shape of a triangle? How do I get everything to line up so it doesn't look like crap. How do I get around the electrical wires that weren't embedded into the studs? Should I wire for lights first or do it after I install the walls? Jeez. Never fear. I am getting loads of information off the internet and I have a construction friend who is giving me advice.

 

Electrical wire and box wraps around the stud instead of through it.
I was told to leave a hole for access. Darn ugly, if you ask me.

  

Now to work out the logistics...To be continued...





War of Stinging Things, Part 2

Plugging up the holes along one side of my house didn't do any good. The crafty bees have found another tiny hole and continue to go in and out. Bees are smart and will find a way in or out no matter what I do. So I searched online, called a pest control company, and found a beekeepers' club in my area. I also found an all-girl bee removal company out of town.

While waiting for my bee guy appointment, I did some more bee research. The pest control woman said they might be mason bees which are common. I got online to look at photos and read about different kinds of bees. Mine look mostly like bumble bees, but bumbles make nests in dirt, not in houses. Carpenter bees will make nests in houses, but they are more brown and black. My bees are brown/black with yellow and rust colored markings:

See tiny bee...click on photo to make it bigger for a better view.

What are bumble bees doing in my house and not in the ground in my garden somewhere? I really hate freeloading roommates. Doesn't matter if they are opossums, rats, mice, spiders, flies, mosquitoes, or...bees. Doesn't matter how beneficial to the earth or how helpful they are in my garden.

 

Bee guy emails me and says there are all kinds of honeybees. I can tell he's very hopeful that's what I have. I hate to tell people they aren't honeybees because no one seems to care about anything else. Bee guy comes and he's looking at the bees. He finally agrees with me they might be a type of bumble bee. OK, I was afraid of that. No one wants bumble bees; they want honeybees. Bumble bees are pollenators and, like honeybees, necessary to agriculture. Some species of bumble bees are endangered. Does this matter? Hmmm...bee guy looks a little disappointed, but he doesn't desert me. Yet.

 

Bee guy climbs up into the crawlspace above the laundry makes all kinds of exclamatory sounds...about the insulation and how thick it is. This goes on for five minutes and with every "ooooh" or "aaaahhh" I think he's found bees and I get excited. I know he doesn't want to be in the crawlspace as he mentioned before it's difficult to get bees out of a crawlspace, but he continues to look around. FINALLY, yes, he sees the hive! I have him take a photo of it:

 

The yellowy stuff.

 

He said it's sealed so there is no entrance into the house that he can see. He calls a beekeeping friend and they talk. We send photos to him. Bee guy confesses he doesn't know anything about bumble bees, but his advice is to leave the hive alone and in the fall he'll come back to see if it's grown. I get the feeling he's just trying to talk me into being satisfied with not having him do anything. That doesn't seem like a very good solution to me. I don't want it to grow! I also tell him I'm interested in selling the house so having a bee hive growing in it is not a good selling point. I try to discuss other options and he confesses he doesn't feel knowledgeable enough to remove them, nor young enough. It's obvious he just doesn't want to do it. Who cares about bumblebees?

 

I'm going to have to keep looking around for some help with this. I don't want to poison them, but I don't want to leave them alone to grow either. There should be a better solution.

 

In addition, this the first year in a long time hornet's are trying to make nests under my house eaves. I've knocked down two so far. My fake hornet's nests are useless. I'm very disappointed.

 

UPDATE: Bee Guy spoke to his Bee Guy friend and they decided if I wait until winter when the bee boy-workers all die leaving the queens in the hive, they will remove them and dismantle the hive. Bee Guy friend who knows bumble bees well said they are very opportunistic and they have found an abandoned wasp nest to use for the season. We don't want to kill them, just remove them from my house. I can wait. I'm happy to have them pollenate my garden.

 

 



My Garbage Can Stinks (A Haiku, sort of...)

 

Purchased new garbage can.

 

Scented. Stinks. Gag.

 

Returned it.

 

The End.

 

NSAID Breakfast-Style (A Cautionary Tale)

I've been abusing the NSAIDs. I do feel fortunately this is one drug I can tolerate at low levels. They sure help if one has a migraine or in my most recent case, a bum foot. Ibuprofen is my drug of choice, the generic rather than the more expensive and popular Advil.

In my youth I lived on ibuprofen taking massive quantities in place of the prescribed Motrin for carpal tunnel pain. I was also prescribed a drug called Tagamet to compensate for the stomach-eating side effects of ibuprofen. I can only imagine what this pain killer addiction did to my insides.

Now my strategy is to take ibuprofen only when absolutely necessary, in the middle of a very large meal, and then wash it down with a very large glass of water. This seems to work, but I still need to watch how much I take and for how long or I'll start feeling queasy.

One of the advantages of ibuprofen besides pain relief is it works as an anti-inflammatory. With any injury, it is imperative to get the inflammation and swelling under control in order for healing to begin. I started popping pills right away determined to heal quickly and survive this inconvenience.

Yesterday I made a nice breakfast of scrambled eggs which is a really good ibuprofen buffer due to the fat content. I chopped and diced the onions, peppers and garlic into colorful piles, whisked up the eggs, and set the table. I have a very methodical approach to food preparation. As the pan heated I removed one pill from its bottle and laid it on the counter. I try to take the pill in the middle of the meal and this reminds me not to forget. I scooped up and sautéed the chopped bits then added eggs.

What is that smell???? I look around to see if I left something near the burner. Maybe it's old food that was dribbled down in the burner pan, but I see nothing. It smells metallic, plastic. Toxic. Not a normal kitchen smell. Not finding anything suspicious I think nothing of it. It dissipated quickly. I serve the food and eat. Yum. Wonderful. When half of it's gone I get up to get the ibuprofen pill on the counter. It's not there. I distinctly remember getting it out of the bottle so I wouldn't forget to take it. I wonder if I'm having a senior moment. Am I old enough to have senior moments?

OH MY GOD! I scooped it up with the onions and sautéed it with the peppers! That plastic smell!

I searched the remainder of my breakfast for any large pill-like shapes. Nothing. Why didn't I taste it in the food? Why didn't the eggs crunch? The pill must have melted in the pan. I was a bit worry about the chemical reactions of heated ibuprofen, but found nothing online but overdose warnings. I threw away the rest of the food.

A half an hour later I felt incredibly queasy and nauseous. My stomach doesn't like sautéed NSAIDs.

Salad Dressing (Recipe)

I love salads, but only if they are smothered in dressing. Preferably the creamy type, or the type that's not allowed on my diet. I used to eat lots of salad, but without good dressing I don't see the point. I've tried oil and vinegar and oil and lemon juice, but I'm not fond of the taste of raw olive oil or any oil. I can tolerate some apple cider vinegar, partly because I know vinegar is really good for adding acid to your stomach making digestion more efficient, but it still doesn't inspire me to eat salads no matter what I put in them.

 

The above salad includes green leaf lettuce, red leaf lettuce, carrots, avocados, onions, broccoli, and red peppers.

One of the local hardware guys has volunteered to be my advisor on all things construction including the building of a tiny house. He won't do it for me or even do it if I pay him a whole lot of money. He's building a house so he doesn't want time taken away from getting his house done. He came over a week ago to offer some advice on a variety of construction projects I am planning. When I finished with my list he asked, "Is that it?"  Just then I spied the new bathroom faucet I purchased over two months ago just before I found out my plumber quit his job. That bathroom sink has been leaking in many places for a while. I've tried fixing it myself, but I can't get the knobs to turn. I think they might be rusted or something. Complications I don't know how to troubleshoot. "Hey, I can't get the water to turn off under my bathroom sink. Can you watch while I do it and you can give me advice or instruction if it goes wrong?"

He did for about two minutes, then told me to get out of the way. He fixed the whole thing and replaced the valves in about ten minutes. You can't imagine how appreciative I was as trying to find a plumber is near to impossible these days. I offered him money and he shook his head so I invited him for dinner. I know he's a junk food junkie so he asked first what was on the menu. As luck would have it I didn't eat lunch and had salmon steaks thawing in the fridge. SALMON! Hey, it could have been hot dogs or something less desirable! He might have preferred hot dogs, but he always tries to tell me he eats healthy aside from the junk. I asked if a salad was OK for a side dish, but I didn't have dressing. He asked if I have fresh lemon as lemon juice would be fine for him. Yep!

As we are sitting down to this magnificent feast and I hand him the fresh, squeezed lemon juice he says, "Sometimes I add orange juice to the lemon juice to make it less tart and more sweet."  Hmmm... that sounds interesting. I have an orange! It was heavenly! Squeeze one half lemon and one half orange. Pour it on. Truly yummy. And it's so easy. Who would have thought I'd get healthy recipe ideas from a constantly caffeinated processed food addict? He actually joked through the meal all the healthiness might make him drop dead.

As he was leaving I again thanked him (about the seventh time) for fixing the plumbing that had been sitting around waiting to be fixed for months, and he said in that smart-ass tone he always uses, "Yeah, how much money did that save you?" I always forget it doesn't pay to thank men too much or they assume you owe them. And not in a good way.

I responded, "A lot! How much money do you think a totally organic, fresh salad with wild-caught Alaska salmon, personally cooked and served by a charming, conversational hostess cost? Oh, and you don't have to do dishes either."

He laughed and said, "I'll trade work for food." I don't think he remembers he offered this once before, but when my eyes lit up he quickly backpedaled with "Just joking!"  I'd gladly cook for someone who would do all my construction for me.

War Wounds

WARNING: The photos are not for the weak at heart. Not pretty.

The first day after my injury, my foot started feeling better. I continued to elevate and ice it and didn't notice much bruising or swelling. Then for some reason I woke up a day and a half later and noticed my foot was more swollen, cold and numb due to the lack of circulation caused by the swelling. This worried me. The swelling should be going down not getting worse. I called around trying to find a doctor. Most couldn't see me until next week. The hospital was going to charge me $700 just to be looked at not including x-rays, so I went back to a doctor I saw eight years ago.

I'll call him Dr. Dumb Shit. I have absolutely no confidence in this doctor as during our previous appointment I told him once a month I was getting incredibly sick with symptoms of severe dizziness, vomiting, diarrhea, fever, migraines, shivering, respiratory problems and passing out. I was being poisoned. (It was the water.) He prescribed headache medicine. Really? Do you think that will help with the passing out? This was after his assistant told me it was probably all in my head, or psychological. When I sent them payment for my co-pay I wrote a letter complaining about the incompetence and I said clearly although it was only $20, it was not worth it. Oops! Nothing like burning my bridges....

Well, where else am I supposed to go? No other doctor in the area could get me in until next week. His schedule seemed to be wide open. (That's a clue!) And he's close by and since I needed to drive using my left foot to get there, I didn't want to be traveling for too long. I just needed some x-rays to see how bad this was.

As I sat in the waiting room I watched a video on how women ignore their health issues. Yep, that's me. I'd do nearly anything to stay away from a doctor.

Dr. Dumb Shit is really nice and personable, but like I said, I have no confidence in his ability to know anything. He's incredibly obese for starters and known around town for his daily visits to McDonald's. That says it all. Not many people have confidence in him. The justification for my first visit was I had hoped he could tell me if other people in the area were experiencing the same once-a-month illness, or, was it an environmental problem? I didn't notice any stink then, but today, whatever he was wearing burned my lungs. It might have been toxic deodorant rather than cologne because it was mild enough only to cause discomfort. I just wanted to find out if my foot was broken or not.

When I was transferred to the exam room and sat waiting under the glare of florescent lights I saw my foot for the first time. GOOD GOD! Where did those bruises come from?? They covered both sides of my foot! And the swelling seems to be getting worse.  I suddenly remembered I had a camera with me. Oh, how fun! Documentation!

Above is what it really looks like. There is little bruising on the top since I kept icing the top, but I failed to ice the sides adequately. You can definitely see the swelling at the ankle even though that's not where the pain was. Later the doctor said my foot actually looks really good compared to the ones where the person didn't elevate and ice and the whole foot turns black. The next two photos are side views and I think the angle of the camera distorted the foreground making it look like my leg and foot are about to explode, but you can see the bruising around the ankle.

 

I swear my foot doesn't look like that last photo. My cheap camera must have distorted the view. It's pretty horrifying, but entertaining.

I did not break any bones. In fact, I have never broken a bone in my life so I really didn't think I did, but x-rays showed chips in the bones so slamming it into cement did create some damage.

Dr. Dumb Shit said to continue icing, elevating and take Advil. Nothing new there except it cost me lots of money to hear I should continue doing what I've been doing.  He said if it doesn't get better I am to get one of those post-operation shoes to walk in. Or maybe wear tight shoes for now. Hmmm...I hope that's just him feeling confident in my ability to heal rather than ignorantly failing to prescribe adequate treatment. Then he said if it doesn't improve I am to go to a specialist. Well, there you have it. He's already claiming lack of knowledge, and if my confidence could have gotten any lower than it already was, it would have. But hey, I don't want to see a specialist! I've already spent all my vacation money on this injury.

I'm trying to stay off it as much as possible, but it's not like I have someone to run errands or cook for me. My dirty dishes are piling up because I don't want to stand to wash them. What a huge inconvenience! Spring is finally here and I was just about to start some fun projects. And I've become addicted to jumping around on my rebounder and I won't be able to do that for weeks. Damn.

Please send me some positive healing energy my way so this will go fast!

Let the War Begin...Again.

Yesterday I happened to be out on my porch, enjoying the sunshine and fresh springtime air, and I noticed the soft buzzing of a bee. I enjoy bees. Hearing them buzz around the garden is a sign spring is here and that's always a happy sign. They pollinate my flowers and trees and I grow plants that will attract them. We have a mutually respectful, reciprocal relationship.

I smiled at the sound and looked up from what I was doing just in time to see a pretty little bee land on the side of my house and crawl IN THROUGH A SMALL HOLE under the siding. OH SHIT! I've seen online photos of giant hornet's nests or bee hives in the walls of houses. I watched for a few seconds as three or four more bees landed and disappeared. I ran upstairs to see if I could hear any buzzing in the walls. No. Then I ran to the hardware store in a panic.


The hardware man's first suggestion was to use a fogger. No way. I think a fogger would kill me. Another suggestion was hornet traps, but those would attract every hornet and bee in the area and kill them. I just want to repulse them away. I don't want uninvited, free-loading roommates with stingers loading honey into my walls. Then someone suggested hornet spray even though I assured them I couldn't see a nest nor even knew where it was. Doesn't matter. The spray will confuse the bees and they will leave or die. There were also "green" or "safe" solutions rather than chemically-based sprays. The one I ended up buying is called WHY. Of course it costs twice as much as the chemical spray. The ingredients are: lemongrass oil, clove oil, rosemary oil, and geranium oil. I don't care for essential oils, but I've used a similar recipe to kill mold. I needed something and I'd be spraying it outside.

Covered in oil. Ewww.

I sprayed it on one side of the house where they were entering and hoped there wasn't another entry way. It stunk to high heaven, leaving oily drips down the side of the house, but tolerable. As I emptied the can I smelled a distinct alcohol smell, like rubbing alcohol. Yep, it has isopropyl alcohol in it, too, probably as a stabilizer for the oils or propellant. For the next hour I watched the bees frantically trying to figure out how to get into their hole, but unable to go near or land due to the stink. It seemed to be working. I kept an eye on them to see if they were flying into another entrance but it looked like they were flying away only to return to try a few minutes later. Hooray!

Later that evening as I went upstairs to bed the whole upstairs area smelled strongly of essential oils. Obviously they were getting into one of the crawlspaces in the roof. I prayed the bees wouldn't find a way into the house as they tried to escape the stink. I think this spray would work on spiders and rodents as well!

WRONG! It doesn't work on anything. Maybe that's why it's called WHY? WHY doesn't it work? Yes, the smell repelled them for a few hours, but by the next morning the smell had all but worn off and they were going in and out of the holes again. I raced again to the hardware store and bought some foam to plug up the holes. This stuff is a special recipe with pesticide in it although it doesn't smell much. I used it on the crawlspace as the instructions say bugs and rodents won't nibble on it because it tastes bad. Applying it sure is messy! By the time I finished plugging up the little holes I had the sticky, icky stuff all over. Seriously, I even dribbled it down the side of my face! The instructions say it comes off with acetone. No way! Or it'll wear off. I remembered tree pitch will come off with mayonnaise so I tried a mayonnaise facial. It removed the sticky part but the foam residue is still there. It looks like I have wrinkles. Well, more wrinkles. Uglier wrinkles.

Confused bee looking at globs wondering what the hell?

Again, I spent an hour watching the confused bees fly from one hole to the next not comprehending why they couldn't get past the unsightly glob of goo. They are very determined to damage my house. More than likely I've trapped the queen in my attic space. <shiver>

I got fed up with their never-ending determination so as soon as the foam was dry I grabbed the broom and started swatting them. They aren't going to return if they are dead! So much for our mutual respect and reciprocity. I have my limits.

So I armed with a broom and saw what I hope is the last living bee on earth. I swing...and the force of my killer swing forces me to step off the porch step. Unfortunately I thought I was on the last step and I wasn't. I overshot the last step, twisted my ankle, and fell smashing my foot into the cement. PAIN. Damn bees have now crippled me.

This house is a never-ending battlefield....

The Dead Zone

 

It's the anniversary of my mother's death and that time of the year when a certain morbidity lurks in the hidden recesses of my mind. Mortality haunts me. It didn't help to read a book last week about a nineteenth-century sculptor who made some really cool grave monuments nor order more books on tomb sculptures and cemetery traditions from the library so I could gaze upon photos of crying cherubs and sobbing angels. And it definitely didn't help to find Peter's dead body. The timing for these things is so oddly coincidental. This is my very own personal holiday of death. It unexpectedly surfaces every year at the same time. At least now I understand what causes this mind fuck. So I did what any rational-minded, healthy person would do: I hung out at a few cemeteries amongst the dead and I felt right at home. This also motivated me to drag Peter's decaying carcass out from under the garden shed and give him a proper burial.

 

My Rabbit God statue has been re-purposed and it serves as Peter's very own grave sculpture.


He's buried in the middle of the sunflower garden
where he loved to lounge.

He's such a lucky bunny even in death. Now I have a place I can honor him and remember him fondly as I lay bright and cheerful flowers on the site. He was loved. It does make me feel better.

Tomb sculptures amaze me. Really good graveyard statues can incite profound emotion and sympathy. I love the distraught figures collapsed at the foot of a grave in pitiful despair or prostrated across it in agony. They weep loudly in silence. The pain is palatable. Loved ones left behind in mourning paid an enormous amount of money to make an immortal expression of their grief.  This is really more about love than death. The adoration is heart-wrenching; the passion is envious. I can't post a copyright-protected photograph of my current favorite tomb sculpture, but click HERE for a link. It's from the Staglieno Cemetery in Genoa, Italy. Ah! Those Italians are so passionate! Even death is sexy.

In my former life I traveled a lot and was drawn to graveyards. I was definitely not a normal tourist in any sense of the word and preferred to spend my time looking at the local dead. "Garden" style cemeteries in Europe were developed in the nineteenth century and the best examples are in Paris where monuments to the dead span hundreds of acres and are like cities with tomb-lined, street-like walkways. Those tombs are as big as houses with elaborate decorations rivaling that of palaces or stately homes. For someone who has been fascinated by death since a child, it was the ultimate tourist experience!

With my recent readings I discovered the tomb of Croce-Spinelli and Sivel in Pere Lachaise Cemetery in Paris. I have been to Pere Lachaise, but don't recall this sculpture. The back story fascinates me. Three French men in 1875 set out in a hot air balloon to break ascension records. They knew they would need oxygen at high levels, but were unaware of the consequences of oxygen deprivation. They became incoherent and, therefore, unable to use their oxygen contraptions in time. Two of them died and the third lived to tell the tale. This, however, isn't the most interesting aspect of their story. The two men who died were buried together and their stone effigies are holding hands. Granted, today homosexuality is much more accepted, but this was back in the 1800s. The French are known for being more open-minded about sex of any kind so maybe I shouldn't be surprised. It would be interesting to know what the reception was at the time of the unveiling of the sculpture. Who ordered and paid for the monument? Today people leave flowers in their linked hands.

 

In a tiny town about an hour's drive away is an even tinier cemetery that includes the family burial plot for my great grandparents and their nine children.



 

The only person not buried here is their sixth child, my grandfather, who wanted to be buried next to my mother. When I was younger I thought his decision was a dishonor to his family, but my grandfather assured me my mother wanted to be buried in her hometown and he considered this a convenience since he would be close enough to visit her grave regularly. His sacrifice speaks to his love for her. I'm surprised my mother doesn't have a huge tomb with crying angels hanging around it. In fact, her gravestone is fairly standard, bland, and very American.

No monuments here. Just square slabs of boredom. Blah.
This style of cemetery is call a "memorial cemetery".
Very popular in America.

Through tidbits of family stories I have forged a connection with one distant aunt and uncle in the Little Falls Cemetery.



 

My aunt Carrie was hit by a train. Details were never given only poor Carrie was young and childless. (In my grandparents' time, "childless" was used as a metaphor for "failed to live life to the fullest." It was always my plan to be childless so I always resented this assumption. Procreation not the only way to live a full life.) This obscure chapter of family history was never discussed. She was walking at the time. That's all I know. What were the circumstances? Why was she walking in front of a train? I wish I knew more. I have a photograph of the whole family posed in front of their farm house. In it Carrie is twelve years old. I always think of her as twelve years old so it's always surprising to me to see her gravestone and remember she was thirty-five when she died. Still too young.

Sorry it's so blurry. The portrait is quite large and backed on stiff cardboard
so it doesn't fit on my photocopier. See Cap the dog?

My great uncle lived for eighty years in the same, tiny town right up until the day he died. He never married and had no children. I have several photos of him. He's sixteen years old in the family portrait. This was an era when smiling or showing emotion in a photo wasn't appropriate so to see his huge grin and the glimmer in his eye suggests he was up to something. His brother standing next to him in the back row has the same devious look. Something was going on!

Another is a studio portrait of him when he is about 20 years old with the typical, turn-of-the-century accouterments suggesting social class and status: furniture, a book, backdrop and curtains. It was taken just before he signed up for military duty in World War I.

Again, I apologize for the blur. It's in a frame.

The third is a photograph of him with his best friend:

They might be holding hands? I don't know. Again, I wish I knew more details. I remember taking food to him with my grandfather when I was a child right before he died. Although he was quite self-reliant, living in his own house and able to get around by walking very slowly, I remember feeling badly for him for being so old and not having any children to take care of him. I thought it was wrong he was so alone. I thought someone needed to clean his house. I really liked that my grandfather, his younger brother, was helping him. Eighty years is a long time. Why don't I know more about him? How can a life that long be so easily forgotten? I have his portrait hanging on my wall. He deserves to be remembered by someone.

I find it fascinating how easily and quickly people are forgotten after they die. In most cases, unless the person did something astounding, celebratory, or in some way memorable, they disappear after a generation or two. If they were childless perhaps sooner. My mother had two children and as long as we live, she is remembered, but her grandchildren never knew her and have no memories to extend her existence.  I know few details about the lives of either my aunt or uncle. Like them I am also childless and I expect I will be quickly forgotten so our common fate is our bond. This mortality check is a constant reminder of my current isolation. Will I be remembered by anyone a year after I die, let alone a generation? If no one knows me in my self-imposed exile and isolation, do I really exist? What will I leave behind? What is my legacy?

While I was visiting the tiny town I stopped in a newly established antique store. The owner and I got to talking about a portrait she had of a woman from the nineteenth century. She bought it in a garage sale, but hoped someone in the area would recognize the woman. I told her I doubt it as that's what happens to portraits when there is no one left in the family to keep them. The family stories are lost and the photographs end up in a yard sale or worse, at the garbage dump. It makes me sad to see the portraits of someone's relatives being sold at a yard sale. That's the great thing about stone memorials. It's a normal person's opportunity for some immortality.

Cemeteries weren't created for the dead. They are for the living so that those of us in mourning have a place to go to express it. The "garden" cemetery is a relatively modern concept as mass graves on the outskirts of town were the rage prior to the nineteenth century, unless, of course, you were wealthy. Grave markers and tombstones represent memories and serve as reminders of a life lived, but only for those left behind who have those memories. I think that's why I like grave stones with sculptures, poems, epitaphs, reliefs, etchings or other biographical clues. I've often thought it would be fun to have a monumentally naked woman crying in agony over my dead body so those who didn't know me would at least ponder who I was. Oh, she must have been important! Or maybe just rich? Now that I'm older, practical, and less romantic I think I'd rather be cremated and have my ashes thrown into the ocean to float away into non-existence.

It's Spring. Finally. Where is My Master Gardener?

I've started my gardening ritual: removing winter weeds, pouring slug bait on everything, trimming plants, and general cleaning. It's weird without Peter hopping around pretending to help. It feels very quiet. There seems to be more weeds and his former trails are no longer maintained. Of course. Constant reminders he gone. If I think about it too much I feel sad. So I don't. At the same time I must admit, it's much easier to negotiate the gardens without chicken wire protecting everything from his voracious appetite.

 

I hung my fake hornet's nests, too. As I was attaching one to the garden shed I noticed the roof is starting to get squishy in places. It's old. I guess I'll need to replace the roof. There is a step to the front door made from a huge block of wood. It's been rotting for years, but too heavy for me to move. As I'm poking the roof of the garden shed checking for rot, I gave the step a good, quick kick. It fell apart. I'm surprised I could still step on it without it collapsing. So I took a hammer, donned fashionable, yet protective eye wear, and pulverized it into small, rotting pieces.

Even this reminded of Peter as the hole to his Under-The-Garden-Shed condo was right next to the step. I had blocked it with a large stone to keep predators out in case Peter had indeed died under there. I also reminisced about the wool sweater I sat next to the hole one night that disappeared by morning. I was pretty sure Peter drug it under the shed to use for a bed which was my intention. I hoped it would keep him warm. When the rotten step was removed, I thought I should look under to see if I could see anything. I couldn't. Something was in the way.

I found Peter. He had made a nice little bed for himself of old rabbit fur and grass...and an old brown sweater. He looks like he died in his sleep. Very peaceful.

Sigh.

Self-Gifting: NEW Organic Sheets!

My crusade toward cheerfulness and a healthy, non-depressed attitude continues although I must confess with great exuberancy, I'm feeling wonderful! Self-gifting works! So do the doses of positive energy I seek and randomly encounter daily.

Today I bought new organic sheets! Some of you may wonder why I'm so excited? I've been fantasizing about this splurge for at least three years. Most of my sheets are at least four years old and some are not aging well with holes from where I stapled them up on the doorways to seal off heated areas in my heatless house. The last new sheet set I bought was at a garage sale. They were still in the package, king size, bright red (which does not match anything in my bedroom), flannel, but only $3. Other than the color, I love them. I only had to wash them a few times and I'm not sure why they didn't smell much with all that red dye, but they are thick, soft and high quality. Prior to that I bought a brand new cheap set at the local department store. So cheap after my normal 15 washings to get all the nasty chemical treatments off the fabric, they were so thin they lasted barely another year. Very disappointing.

I had high hopes for real, quality-made, organic sheets. I really wasn't excited about spending nearly three times the amount for a set of sheets, but I had given up on finding non-toxic styles that might be affordable. There is an online company that makes natural wool mattresses and bedding located in a town nearby. I like being able to go into a place and smell the products rather than chance ordering something online that might not work. This company often has discount products that were measured wrong or had some minor flaw. Their store is very non-toxic located in an old ex-hardware store from the 1930s with natural wood floors and the old style counter tops still intact. You can watch the employees hand-construct the comforters and mattresses on huge tables. There is something very earthy and traditional about seeing someone actually hand-make something. It's a great space.

They didn't have much discounted as it was in between seasons, but the woman found me two sets of queen size sheets, one dark navy blue and one ivory. I wanted flannel, but all they had was jersey which is still 100% cotton but woven to be stretchy. Flannel is sometimes thicker, but I checked their flannel sheets and they felt the same. They were 30% off. I like to avoid dark colors because of the dyes, and I really prefer to avoid whites so I can avoid having to use bleach when the fabric discolors with age and looks permanently dirty. My bed is ivory as is my quilt so I opted for the ivory anyway.

 

I asked about treatments and the woman claimed there were none. All organic. But then she looked at me quizzically and told me another chemically sensitive customer had problems with the cotton sheets. She wasn't sure why and suggested maybe the woman was sensitive to cotton, but she advised a sniff test first. So I slid the set out of the package and stuck my nose in the fabric. No smell. I was satisfied.

I got home and eagerly removed the plastic wrap only then realized the set was encased in a drawstring bag which I thought was cute and classy. You don't find such quality packaging with cheap sheets made in China. As I unfolded the sheets, I could smell something chemical. Hmmm...not strong, but definitely chemical and definitely not something I'd want to sleep on. As I registered the toxicity, a little packet of silica gel tucked into the folds fell onto the floor.

Silica gel. Damn. WHY would a manufacturer of organic fabrics pack their products with toxic chemicals? It makes absolutely NO SENSE to me! Yes, I know it's used to keep products from mildewing in storage and these packets are used even in packaging supplements and other food-based items. I also know everyone (the powers-that-be) considers silica to be non-toxic. Well, besides it can irritate your skin and lungs AND causes cancer, but those things don't count, right?

I don't know if what I was smelling was from the silica or some other treatment. The sheets are really soft so it could be sizing. I ended up washing the set in hot water, non-toxic detergent, and vinegar FIVE times and that seemed to do the trick. I guess five times is better than fifteen times. I'm a little disappointed. I was hoping it would be like my organic, but ugly nightshirt: no smell whatsoever and comfortable. I don't understand their reasoning.

 

Oh, whatever! They are SO beautiful!

Hopefully all that beauty won't suffocate me when I try to sleep on them tonight!

 

UPDATE: After I wrote this post I emailed the organic store to let them know of my displeasure. As you can see on the above post, I didn't name names because I didn't/don't want to discourage organic products, I just want them to be held accountable. The store customer service specialist emailed back promptly, apologized, and thanked me for the information claiming customer input was appreciated. I was satisfied because I do think it's a really good company. About a half hour later she emailed again. In the meantime she had contacted the company who makes the sheets to let them know of my complaint and told me to send the information on the tags...along with my address. They are going to send me a whole new set of sheets!!!!! FREE! WHOA!! It pays to be proactive. I emailed the information back, but also asked if they had planned to rectify the situation. No response.

UPDATE: After a month I had begun to wonder if they were specially growing the organic cotton for my new sheets! Eventually they did arrive sans silica gel packets and sans STINK! They did have a very faint smell, kind of a mix of burlap and...hamburgers...? It was as if someone ate their lunch around them. Not a bad smell, just a food or cooking smell. Definitely non-toxic. I washed them once just because. It's good to know this company can be non-toxic.

Thanks for the free sheets!!

Happy

You can't imagine how much I  LOVE  this song by Pharrell Williams and the video is so joyful.

 

 

Love it!

Or you can listen to the song over and over again and watch different people dance to it 24 hours a day:

http://24hoursofhappy.com/


And then you can watch people all over the world dance to this song!!!

PARIS:

 

DUBAI:

 

 

LONDON:

 

 

COTONOU, BENIN, AFRICA:

 

 

SO HAPPY! I love it.

 

I should make one from Rathole.

 

HAPPY - WE ARE FROM RATHOLE.

 

HAHAHAHAHA

 

WARNING: If you listen to this song too often it sticks to your brain and you'll be humming it 24 hours a day even in your sleep.

 

 

New FREEBIE Toy!

There is a television commercial I've been seeing lately that features a woman bouncing on a trampoline. I've been entertaining the thought of buying a trampoline for my backyard so I can bounce around like a crazy person. It just sounds like a fun thing to do except I think I'd have to take it apart and store it in the garage for ten months out of the year as I can't imagine bouncing around in the rain to be much fun. And of course, a trampoline costs anywhere from $200 to $600.

As I'm contemplating this frivolity, someone on Freecycle advertises a trampoline! I said, YES, I WANT IT! before I asked, How big is it?  It's a little one, what they call a "rebounder" for exercise. I've always wanted one of these, too, as you can run in place but there is little shock to your joints.

So now I get to bounce around in my spare time and I hope it will provide me with some extra exercise. I like it a lot more than the treadmill which demands a whole lot of energy to make it go. With the rebounder I just have to jump on and march in place and it's good to go although I do try to stretch a little before I jump on. My muscles have atrophied with so little exercise I fear I will pull something if I'm not careful. There are all kinds of videos online to watch how skinny people use them for exercising. So fun.

I'm creating a freebie workout center for myself. Self-gifting is wonderful, especially when it's free.

"The Sunshine Song" (Jason Mraz)

This is one of my favorite songs from my idol, Jason Mraz:

 

Well sometimes the sun shines on other people's houses and not mine.
Some days the clouds paint the sky all gray
And it takes away my summertime.
Somehow the sun keeps shining upon you,
While I struggle to get mine.
If there's a light in everybody,
Send out your ray of sunshine.

 

I want to walk the same roads as everybody else,

Through the trees and past the gates.
Getting high on heavenly breezes,
Making new friends along the way.
I won't ask much of nobody,
I'm just here to sing along.
And make my mistakes looks gracious,
And learn some lessons from my wrongs.

 

Well sometimes the sun shines on other people's houses and not mine.
Some days the clouds paint the sky all gray
And it takes away my summertime.
Somehow the sun keeps shining upon you,
While I struggle to get mine.
A little light never hurt nobody,
Send out your ray of sunshine.

 

Oh, if this little light of mine
Combined with yours today,
How many watts could we luminate?
How many villages could we save?
And my umbrella's tired of the weather wearing me down.
 Well, look at me now.

 

You should look as good as your outlook,
Would you mind if I took some time,
to soak up your light, your beautiful light?
You've got a paradise inside.
I get hungry for love and thirsty for life,
 But much too full on the pain,
When I look to the sky to help me
And often it looks like rain.

 

As the sun shines on other people's houses and not mine,
And the sky paints those clouds in a way
That it takes away the summertime,
Somehow the sun keeps shining upon you,
while I kindly stand by.
If there's a light in everybody,
Send out your ray of sunshine.

 

You're undeniably warm, you're cerulean,
You're perfect in desire.
Won't you hang around
so the sun, it can shine on me,
And the clouds, they can roll away,
And the sky, can become a possibility?
If there's a light in everybody,
Send out your ray of sunshine.

 

 

Here is some concert footage of it. This is the best video I could find, but the beginning is a little blurry but it gets better after a minute as the camera adjusts. Sounds is great, though. 

 



Jason makes me happy! I think I'm going to spend the day and watch concert footage of my idol. That will be very uplifting!