Call Me Yatna

Welcome to my very own Happy-To-Be-A-Woman Celebration Ritual! 

 

 

 

 

It's also called The Croning Rite and can be found in The Women's Wheel of Life by Elizabeth Davis and Carol Leonard.

 

"This rite of passage is observed when a woman has completed menopause, with no menstruation for a full year. The post menopausal stage heralds the start of a new life phase, when she is to be venerated for her life experience."

 

In other words, this is my very own "Self-Veneration Ceremony" that is to encompass all previous celebrations I missed. I didn't get a Menstrual Celebration Rite which would have kicked off my gender pride initiation and I've never been pregnant so I didn't get a "So-Glad-You-Are-Reproducing Ritual" also known as a baby shower. I say self-veneration because it's really supposed to be done amongst a gathering of women friends and family of all ages so together we can share and learn from each other while at the same time honoring the initiate and her passage into old age. Unfortunately, I have neither family or friends nearby, fragrance-free or available, but that won't stop me!

 

 

The purpose of this ritual is two-fold. First, it is to explore feelings of loss, uncertainty, confusion and even anger that often accompany aging:

 

What the hell is wrong with my body?

 

Will I never be "normal" again?

 

Damn, why did I take my youth for granted?

 

Will I never be allowed to wear t-shirts with cartoons again?

 

Is life over?

 

 

The second purpose is to explore the potential of transition:

 

I can't wait to be wise and powerful.

 

Will I really become psychic?

 

If life expectancy for women is anywhere between 80 and 100, I still have half my life to live!

 

What do I plan to do with all that time?

 

 

The actual ceremony, whether in a group or in solitude, can include many decorative elements such as lighting candles (not going to happen), burning incense (nope), or sprinkling of essential oils (no way). I like the part where each woman takes a turn and shares her life learnings after introducing herself with a "Mother Line."

"I am Catherine, daughter of Charlene, granddaughter of Clara, great-granddaughter of Marie."

 

Then she tells us what she has learned in life, what wisdom she still seeks, or what she must do to complete her life's mission. I think going to a celebration like this when I was young would have been an incredibly validating experience. If every girl did, just think how few of us would approach menopause with such trepidation.

 

I've been pondering my deepest life lessons of wisdom in the last few days. What were my most important learnings? What would I share with others? What would I pass to my daughter [if I had one]?

 

1.) Don't ever have sex with any man who would not make a good father. Just think if we taught girls to be more selective. We might even eliminate unwanted children, child abuse, teenage mothers.

 

2.) Marry only for love.

 

3.) Be proud of who you are and celebrate all those unique qualities that make you different.

 

4.) Be verbally, emotionally, and physically strong enough to defend yourself against anyone who disrespects you.

 

5.) Do what you love and the money will follow.

 

6.) Don't procrastinate. Do it now in case you don't have tomorrow.

 

7.) Be healthy in thought and practice.

 

8.) Think for yourself.

 

9.) Learn as much as possible until the day you die.

 

I reserve the right to modify this list at a later date.

 

What wisdom do I still seek or how do I complete my life's mission?  Or how do I plan to live the second half of my life? I have to admit, this is like a really serious New Year's Resolution. The responsibility is overwhelming. It's a LIFE resolution and much more difficult to ponder. How can I live the second half of my life by improving on the first half? Where do I start? How do I start? This is stressful.

 

 Be brave.

 

 

That says it all. I've had life-long issues with being excessively responsible, paralyzingly cautious and afraid to take chances. It has kept me out of trouble for sure, but I think it would be more fun to get into more trouble.

 

 

After all this brainstorming, sharing, and venerating, the next part of the ceremony is the name change. This is a common Native American tradition in a culture that honors the wisdom of the elderly by giving postmenopausal members new names signifying their new, more authoritative position in the tribe. Very cool. I searched online for names at http://babynames.merschat.com/ which is a website that gives not only the meaning of a name, but it's desire and potential. My real name's desire is solitude...really?? Solitude is very much the opposite of what I want. So I searched for a new name that would fit my mission and real desire. I found Yatna which means perseverance with friendship as the desire, and specialist as the potential. Searching for wisdom is a component of the specialist potential.

 

Call me Yatna...

 

 

Next, "She-Who-Is-Venerated" goes into seclusion and returns later reborn into a new life phase. Hmmm...I don't know if I need anymore seclusion. Every time I do something people-oriented I do feel reborn as if my old life is back so I'll do something dangerous and go shopping or to a movie and call it good.

 

 

To conclude my Happy-To-Be-A-Woman Ceremonial Rite,  my imaginary friends and I would eat massive amounts of chocolate (not going to happen), get drunk on alcoholic beverages (nope), and dance naked in the moon light (maybe).