Pest Control

My neighbor is afraid of bugs so he has a professional pest control company spray his house down once a week. Can you imagine?  He seems to think over-spraying works, but his rationale makes no sense if he needs to spray constantly because the bugs keep coming back. I told him they were reproducing and creating giant, resistant mutants that can't be killed. Unfortunately, that makes him want to spray twice as often. I'm sure I gave him nightmares. Next time I'll tell him the chemicals will make his boy parts fall off....

I once lived in a basement apartment with giant spiders. The landlord seemed to have a bug fetish and wouldn't help, but what could he do that wouldn't kill me, too? Between August and October when the weather would change and spidey mating season would start, I'd see around 30 skittering over the floor in the course of the season. They were fast, ugly and BIG! About the size of my palm. I lived in fear and fear can be very motivating. The thing about bugs, they've been around forever so the trick is to find repellents that have been used since the beginning of time, back Before Chemicals (B.C.).

Actual Size

I read spiders don't like scent. Smart critters. Any scent. When I found this out I developed a new-found admiration for the creepy crawlies. The year I tried peppermint oil I saw only two spiders. It was nice - smelled like candy canes. My tolerance for essential oils has decreased since then and now I have to be careful with them as well, but I can spray  outside and under the house with no problem. Now I see maybe two spiders a year and they are of the small-ish variety.

Another miracle pest repellent is cayenne pepper. In the same apartment I had an ant infestation. They made an ant hill out in the garden and decided they liked my patio. The landlord loved ants, too. He was so incredibly useless.  So I started experimenting with various historical insect control methods. Finally I laid a line of cayenne pepper around my patio and they disappeared. Not much messes with cayenne.

I currently live near a river and when I first moved here everyone told me I'd eventually have rodents at some point. Feeling charitable toward wildlife,  I bought a bird feeder and started feeding the birds. What a mistake! The ratties were grateful and stored up a winter supply of bird feed. That winter I could hear them gnawing at my walls. It echoed through the house at night. Good lord, I felt helpless! I was so grateful they never got in the house, but they always sounded like they were within a half inch from breaking through. <shiver> Someone scared me to death and said they can nibble on the electrical wires and burn down a house.  I also read a rat shit is a theory for the cause of breast cancer. Jeez. I tried traps, but I'd find them triggered with the food gone. Poisons killed them off, but their dead bodies stunk up the house for three weeks  and a new tribe would move in the next week and continue the gnawing. Besides I'm opposed to poisons and with Peter running free I fear he'll somehow get into it and die a horrible death. If there is any way possible, I prefer to keep pests away rather than kill them. Even rats. So I started putting cayenne pepper around and under the house with the peppermint oil.  No more ratties! I go to Winco or Costco and buy it in bulk.

Actual Size

I lived in Arizona a few years back. It was the first time I'd ever seen a cockroach.  I swear it was the size of a cat. And friendly! It came skittering toward me one day, and stopped. I think it was waiting for me to feed it. When they skitter at night it sounds like they are tap dancing. Normally I would have been impressed. I tried everything to get rid of them. Yes, them...he brought the rest of his family. Finally I read boric acid does the trick, but you have to dust it lightly in corners because cockroaches are smart. And clean. They prim and wash themselves like cats. So when they walk in the boric acid dust, it gets on their little legs, they lick and die. Also, check to see where they are coming in: around sink drains, under counters and plug up any holes you find.  A construction trick down in Arizona is to put boric acid under the foundation. It'll kill anything including termites. The problem is you can't use it freely if you have pets or children. It'll kill them, too.

Garden pests are discouraged with things like soap (Planet Ultra Dishwashing Liquid, the All-Purpose Miracle Soap!), onion/garlic tea and cayenne pepper. I am very careful with these home remedies in the garden because I don't want it to chase the good bugs away so I don't do too much.  Companion planting keeps the plants strong so they can resist invaders on their own and there are some plants that deter bugs so I grow them around plants that need extra protection.  

Slugs...Why did the universe make slugs? I don't see their purpose in the grand scheme of things. I've tried salt, beer, copper, garlic, tomato leaves, pine needles, killing them by hand with a sharp instrument, drowning them in water, and talking sweetly to the snakes and black beetles so they stay in my yard and eat them. I almost got some ducks then decided the ducks would cause more damage than the slugs. It was a full-time job. Finally someone told me about Sluggo which is iron phosphate and supposedly certified organic. It works quite well.

For aphids, if there aren't enough ladybugs or ants helping out, I've used Planet Ultra Dishwashing Liquid, the All-Purpose Miracle Soap. Most bugs don't like soap as it suffocates them and Planet is scent-free so it's not going to suffocate me. Also, aphids don't like chives so grow chives around your rose bushes.

I have a rabbit and I've read wild rabbits that will move into your yard and destroy your grass and plants won't go near cayenne pepper. I thought I'd try it so if I wanted to keep Peter out of a particular garden, this might work. Fifteen minutes after I applied it, I found bunny boy sitting in it. Maybe Peter is just a goof ball? His eyes did get watery, but it doesn't seem to faze him. Maybe it gives him a thrill? Rabbit masturbation?

I used to love cats, then I moved where over-breeding is an epidemic. Many of the neighbors have cats that breed incessantly, and the litters from the previous season all have their own kittens. One house nearby has a minimum of eighteen new kittens every spring and they do nothing to control it.

You know cats don't crap in their own yards - they go to the neighbors'. I have vegetable gardens and nothing disgusts me more than the thought of eating food grown in parasite-contaminated cat shit. Pregnant women are advised not to garden unless they want to give birth to brain-dead babies because of these parasites. And then there is the smell and mess. UGH! Be sure to always wear gloves while gardening. I sometimes catch cats sleeping in my bunny's sleeping places which is incredibly irritating since the rabbit can't find many other rest places. Damn free-loading cats giving my bunny fleas and worms!

Cat from Hell

I've tried nearly everything: cayenne, lemon peel, boric acid, peppermint oil.  Two of my neighbors trap cats and "take them away"; another traps and then douses them with cold water. The other neighbor shoots them. Her rule is if they are walking through the yard she uses a bb gun; if they are crapping, a shot gun. I really don't understand cat owners who allow their cats to roam. Besides the cats that spread disease to wildlife (and pet bunnies), they are also subjected to wildlife diseases. Not caring for your cat properly is so irresponsible, but people don't care. It's disgusting. Again, I prefer to keep the pests away than kill them. The only remedy I've found that works for cats is chicken wire and deer netting, but that gives my yard a certain concentration camp look that I don't enjoy. Oh, well.

Anti-Cat Concentration Camp Decor

For people pests, see my post titled, "Home Invasions".

Anyone have any other chemical-free tricks?