I'm in Snowflake!

Snowflake desert with EI housing

I got to Snowflake around noon and drove up and down Main Street looking at the businesses and neighborhoods. It doesn’t really have a town center and Main Street is more like a big strip mall. I was disappointed. I expected more from the Mormon founders. I found the health food store and ate lunch. It’s very small, with lots of supplements, but lacking in my favorite foods. All the meat was frozen. Lunch tasted moldy. I can’t imagine getting my weekly groceries there. I checked out the supermarket which had no gluten-free products, although it had an awesome bakery. During pre-MCS days I would have spent a lot of money there, but it’s virtually useless to me now.

I drove to Show Low which also has a very small health store. There is a Safeway, but I don’t shop at Safeway as it's one of the worst corporations on the planet only second to Monsanto. I worry about lack of food. Currently I drive 1 ½ hours for organic food and it’s getting old. I’m not interested in moving somewhere which requires the same.

I checked out some hotels. The Silver Creek Inn  in Taylor creeped me out. The room was so small and it had a musty smell. The Holiday Inn Express in Show Low was absolutely beautiful and the reception woman was outstanding and accommodating, but the room smelled like "new" chemicals. I'd suffocate by morning. The Heritage Bed and Breakfast in Snowflake was also beautiful and smelled nontoxic, but I worried about privacy and being in too close proximity to other guests. Each room has its own bathroom and television and wi-fi is available. This was a reality check. All along I was assuming I'd be able to stay in a hotel if I absolutely had to and now I finally realized it's not even an option. I felt really vulnerable.

At this point I realized I needed a contact. Not knowing anyone makes moving long distance very difficult. I had planned to meet with the real estate agent tomorrow, but I needed a personal connection, one that wasn’t trying to sell me something. I had been in touch with a woman who was currently building in Snowflake. She was incredibly inspirational, sending me photos of her property and house construction at various steps and telling me she would introduce me to others when I visited. I felt we did some online bonding, but when I emailed to tell her I was leaving for Snowflake, her response was, “Have a nice trip.” I wondered if I was reading too much into such a terse response, yet she offered no way to contact her when I arrived. I figured I’d email her when I arrived, but I knew wi-fi would be lacking. I felt as if she just blew me off.

 

So here I am in Snowflake, realizing I need help connecting to the town through humans. There was another woman who I emailed and phoned a few months ago.  She had volunteered her driveway, but I knew she just had a guest who left same day I arrived and she had been at a conference in Phoenix. I assumed with so much humanity overload, she would be exhausted and not want another guest so soon. I know I'd feel that way. I emailed her before I left for Snowflake and she told me to call when I arrived.  So I did. Her response was, “Do you like rice noodles?” I was a little taken back, but replied I wasn’t sure as I never had them. She said, “Come on over and we’ll feed you!”

The Incredibly Generous Woman

The Incredibly Generous Woman is the acting “leader” of the MCS community although I’m pretty sure she’d laugh at that label. I believe she is the one who has single-handedly created and developed this community through her personal outreach and constant hospitality. She invites chemically-sensitive strangers to stay at her house while she connects them to resources and helps them meet others. I asked her at one point if it gets to be too much or if she has boundaries and she said she screens people. If they indicate at all they need her to take care of them, she shuts it down. She has no desire to care for anyone so people need to be self-sufficient or if unable to care for themselves, they need to bring a caretaker when they come. She wasn't shy about stating her needs and rules for visitors.

When I arrived, she had several people at her house with more arriving as we sat and talked. One is a filmmaker doing a documentary on chemically sensitive people. It was wonderful to sit in the living room and talk to other MCSers. They get me and I understand exactly the experiences they describe. The discussion ranged from hearing sensitivity to the non-support of spouses to how many of them came to move to Snowflake. At one point I expressed gratitude for the social experience explaining in eight years I’ve lived in my house I have never had this many people over at the same time. In fact, I don’t think that many people have visited me TOTAL. This is what the Incredibly Generous Woman does. She brings people together and makes them feel comfortable and welcome. She is the glue to this community and their centralizing force. Oddly enough, we both majored in art history in college! I love the way she giggles all the time. She strikes me as a very happy, well-adjusted MCSer. The group discussed the rats that infiltrate the cars, living on top of the engine for protection and warmth and eating the fuel lines. Good God.

Snowflake
Temperature Range: 55/26 (brrrr...)
Elevation: 5,579
Population: 5,564 (2012)

My first impressions of Snowflake: I have no problem with the landscape, I LOVE the overwhelming silence, the houses seem well-built and rather cute for being all metal and the MCSers I met are friendly, helpful, and supportive. I still haven’t figured out the logistics of finding a place to rent first and I am determined to do just that before making a commitment. I have no idea if I will have serious reactions to sage, juniper, and the grass that covers the desert here. I don’t want to make such a serious mistake that I find myself miserable and transient. Many of these people claimed they took a leap of faith and purchased real estate as they didn’t have a choice being so sick. Some did not tolerate the Snowflake environment and left while others stayed. Most of them seem to be sensitive to EMFs which is a real issue anywhere else with the radio towers and frequencies. Some have had bad reactions to the tin foil that is used to seal the houses from the EMFs. I am not sensitive to EMFs…yet.

 

Camping in my van in the Incredibly Generous Woman's driveway was...cold. No. Freezing. The temperature was nearly the same as Durango so I couldn't figure out why I couldn't warm up. I laid shivering for too long even dressed in multiple layers of wool. Finally I remembered I brought my below-freezing sleeping bag. I've never really liked it because it's polyester and the feel of polyester makes my skin crawl, but its purpose is to keep you warm in freezing weather and that's exactly what I was desperately needing. I removed it from it's storage bag. It was cold. I wasn't hopeful. As soon as I slid into it within seconds I was warm. Wow! So glad I didn't sell it in that last yard sale!

Day Six: Movie Stardom

It’s very odd to have a filmmaker with a huge camera follow you around and listen to your conversation. The Filmmaker is doing a documentary on MCS featuring people and is in Snowflake to film the Incredibly Generous Woman. He is here off and on filming her and others so this wasn’t his first visit. When he asked if it was OK to film me I said sure because I think contributing to public awareness is important, however, all night I kept thinking I don’t want to be in a movie talking about personal stuff!  I could imagine my relatives and neighbors watching me on the big screen as I talk about how much I hate them and their ignorance. But when morning came, the sun was shining, I marched right into the house without thinking and...ignored him. Keep in mind I hadn't had a shower or washed my hair for almost a week. I definitely was NOT thinking. I deserve an Academy Award for pretending I wasn’t freaked out knowing the camera was capturing every mundane word out of my mouth. Then I had to fight to appear natural when the words coming out of my mouth felt like I was reading from a script as I carefully censored what I might say. AND THEN I kept wishing the Filmmaker would stop filming so he could participate in the conversation. I felt it was rude to exclude him and he was exceptionally articulate and thoughtful so I valued his insights. Later he said it was fine to talk to him while he's filming. He's just gathering footage he will edit later. He asked me to tell him about my van camping system so on film for the world to see I explained my pee bucket. Jeez...definitely not thinking!

New construction next door

 

Kitchen (white section) is separate from house.
In between will be the entrance and shower room for decontamination.

Little white house is spouse's "play house" for toxic office equipment
or arts/crafts projects.

We spent the morning walking through the desert, talking and filming. The Incredibly Generous Woman pointed to the neighbors, explained desert floral and fauna, and discussed chemical sensitivity. She showed me the neighbors who are building a new house. It's the same color as my van so I loved it immediately. A construction worker was laying the ceramic tiles for the bathroom. Beautiful. Yep, I could live here.

 

Neighbor to the east.

 

Incredibly Generous Woman's house. See the second car with the hood up?
That's to discourage the rats from moving into the engine. Eewww!

I shared my eco-village vision and we discussed building codes and construction rules. I dug some of the dirt to do a soil sample, but it was all rock and sand. I couldn’t get down further than maybe six inches. Hmmm…I probably wouldn’t even have to have a rock foundation for my cob house here, but I would need to figure out the drainage as the water tends to sit right on top of the sand. I used the topsoil for the sample. It's all sand, of course, and it looks like chocolate milk. I was told it's useless to weed unless it's monsoon season. Yep. I tried pulling up some grass. It doesn't want to move. All morning the Incredibly Generous Woman kept talking about connecting me with others so I was hopeful I’d get to meet more people, see more houses, and get more information.

The Worst Real Estate Experience of My Life

I met with the real estate agent in the afternoon. I had a bad feeling about him. He was really nice, but didn’t really seem to understand what I wanted.  Or maybe he deals with too many people like me: idealistically arriving in Snowflake and then changing their minds as soon as reality hits. I'm sure wasting his time gets old. His office stunk. His truck stunk. We drove for miles on horribly maintained dirt roads. He, in his four-wheel half ton pick-up and me, in my non-four-wheeling van. Really? I’m not really sure why he thought that was feasible.

We looked at an EI house that is for sale. The owner is considering renting it. He wants $600 a month which seems really high for the size of house and the amenities. It's not like there is a view! Way out in the middle of no where on 40 acres (he’s only selling 20 acres). It’s very depressing and much more isolated than anything I’d imagine. But quiet. Really quiet. God, I love quiet.

 

For sale or rent.

It has propane to heat the water and the radiant flooring, solar energy for electricity, and water is delivered and stored in a 1,000 tank. The walls were covered in tin foil sheet rock. Incredibly ugly, but the agent said in another house the same owner built, he covered it with some kind of plaster and paint. The covered porch spans two sides of the house. Awesome porch. The agent pointed out the porch faces northeast and the winds and sun will come from the southwest. I could put Peter on the porch and screen the whole thing in, but I don’t know if Peter would like living on cement. I made a comment about needing to buy a gun for backcountry protection. The agent agreed explaining about the packs of feral dogs that roam the desert. Although I appreciate his honesty, he wasn't a very good salesman! Hmmm...I’d never sleep at night with Peter outside in a cage and packs of feral dogs milling about.

 

The front yard...40 acres...desert as far as one could see.

Unfortunately, the owner still had it filled with his belongings. I could smell something that was bothering me but I couldn't tell if it was from his stuff or the propane. I'm not sure the propane was even hooked up. I was a little disappointed no one thought to make it presentable to prospective buyers or renters. And they wonder why it's not selling.

We got back in our vehicles and four-wheeled it to the second site over ditches and washes, through sand, dirt and mud. It took at least an hour to get to the next property. I was totally lost and my sense of direction was befuddled. Several times his four-wheel vehicle would spin out, but most often he was miles ahead of me. It was scary and stressful. I worried I’d get stuck, destroy my shocks, or end up in a ditch. At one point he took a wrong turn and I had to back out of the bumpy dirt road for about 500 feet. He said “Don’t worry there are no ditches.” I replied, “In this van, every bump feels like a ditch.” He promised the next road was better. It wasn’t. It was worse.

I was swearing like a truck driver and in tears whole way. When I finally caught up to him at the property, I rolled my window down and without hesitation as calmly as possible said, “I need to get to the nearest road NOW. This is scary, stressful and unacceptable.”

He smiled and calmly said, “OK." Then pointed to the desert, "This is the property.”

I said with a glare and too much sarcasm, “Great." I was not impressed. That’s an understatement. I didn’t give a shit and I was angry. I wanted to get out of there.

Instead of taking me to the nearest road, off again we went four-wheeling to the next property. If I had any idea of where I was, I would have left him. This property was actually possible. Twenty acres with all utilities for $25,000. That price is unheard of in most places, but this is the desert.

However, I’m still not clear on the logistics of moving [Peter] and I’m determined to rent first. Construction loans are impossible so even if I purchased the land, it would be years before I could build anything on it. Without renting first, it could be a huge financial risk.

Needless to say, my head was pounding when it was over. My sinuses were a mess probably from the dust. The van was covered with dirt and sand. I opted not to see the last property. I just wanted to go HOME. My house in mold country was looking really good. At least the rats don’t live in your vehicle’s engine and eat the fuel lines! Scary!

I realized these last couple days I have expressed fear many times. Everything was scary.  I’m sure everyone thinks I’m strangely fearful. I never thought of myself as fearful, but I know I’m careful. Perhaps this is my subconscious telling me this isn’t right? Twenty acres for $25,000? Where in the hell would I ever find silence, solitude and that much land for so cheap?

I hesitated going back to the Incredibly Generous Woman’s house with my new-found negative attitude and hysteria, but I calmed down by the time I made it out of the desert. I spent the rest of the night deprocessing my stressful experience and trying to regain rationale so I could make better decisions. Again they talked and laughed about the rats that eat the fuel lines or how they steal items out of the compost, store them on the car's engine so when you heat up your car it smells like food. I don't think they realized how much this creeped me out. I'm not fond of rat wrangling.

 

All night the Incredibly Generous Woman kept asking me repeatedly if I want to meet others or if I wanted to see something. I kept saying “yes”, but she never contacted anyone. After spending the whole morning not doing much, I worried if I stayed another day if it would be another day of sitting around doing nothing. They all wanted me to stay for longer to get a better feel, but I kept telling them I have work to get back to and every day I’m gone, I’m losing money. I’m pretty sure most of them are on disability or not working. I felt like I was running out of time and time wasn’t being used efficiently. Then I found out she had an appointment the next morning and I didn’t want to be sitting around doing nothing for another morning waiting. Camping in freezing weather, hunger, car-eating rats, four-wheel driving stress, and lots of extroverted human contact made me want out of there. I absolutely HATE being dependent on people, but in a community of sick people, I couldn't very well head out and knock on people's doors. Frustrated, I planned to leave tomorrow morning early for California.

Sleep as Remedy for Discombobulation

I woke up early. Last night was not nearly as freezing as the night before. On the way out I should have turned right to Snowflake, instead at the last minute I turned left, back to the twenty acres. My head was clear, wasn’t pounding painfully, and I wasn’t in tears. I was thinking clearly and needed to revisit this property one more time rather than impetuously leaving at the first sign of discombobulation. I was pretty sure I could find it again.



 

 

 

Building site right in the middle of it all with septic and water already there.

The neighbors were burning a pile of something and the smoke filled the air. Obviously they were not chemically sensitive. The weird thing about the desert is sound and smell travel much farther than a place where there are trees, landscape and other buildings. While hiking through the desert getting dirt samples, I was on a hill maybe a field away from the Incredibly Generous Woman’s house. The Filmmaker was in her backyard. He could talk in a normal voice to me from that distance and we could hear each other plainly. It was amazing. If my requirements are I don’t want to hear or smell my neighbors, this might not be as good as it looks. I still worry about the plant allergies and Peter’s health and safety.

Still, I could raise goats on this land. They'd eat everything down. Then I could pave parts of it with stepping stones, use landscaping rocks and create a beautiful rock garden. I'd sit out in my rock sanctuary and watch the sunset every night and the sunrise every morning. I can see the creative possibilities.

I wonder if this is when I need to practice being brave and stop being scared. Maybe I should view this more as an art project than housing? More like adventure than an impending mistake? More like excitement than worry? Is it practical to wipe out my bank account with an impetuous move buying desert land that I might not be able to sell if it becomes a nightmare? It would take me a few years to gather up enough money to build. Is the investment worth it? Or should I trust my instincts and walk away, something I don’t do often enough. Impetuous courage or common-sense instincts? Hmmm…it might be fun or it might be hell.
 

I stayed in Snowflake all morning. The local college allows the public to use the wi-fi and even sit in the student lounge. Very accommodating.  I tried to get a hold of the Other Woman for some inspiration, but she never responded. Judging people is so strange. This one seemed very accommodating and wasn’t, where I assumed the Incredibly Generous Woman wouldn’t be welcoming and was. Before I left the Incredibly Generous Woman clearly made sure to let me know if I decided to stay or just wanted to hang out and sleep all day, I was very welcome. My issue is I don’t like to stay long enough to become a burden on anyone and although she thought the option of sleeping all day would be a good use of time, I didn't. Two days is enough unless I can see a clear plan that will keep me busy. Sitting around being unproductive would drive me insane. In addition, I’m so used to being alone, isolation makes visiting people constantly draining. I’m an introvert. She must be an extrovert.

I meant to take some photos of the town before I left, but with too much on my mind I forgot. I drove out of Snowflake around 11am feeling like I wasn't quite finished with it, but needing to distance myself so I could think which is what I did all the way home. And I was hungry. I needed to find some good food.