Grief and Re-Grief

Many people emotionally recall traumatic experiences in their lives on the anniversary of the event. A time cue is the corresponding time that the event happened. It's not necessarily triggered on the exact day, but can be the same time of year, same season, same month or some random experience invoking the memory. The emotion can be as traumatic as the actual event, or just a hint of melancholy barely noticeable and unexplainable as the person carries on with everyday living.

My mother died on this day many years ago when I was young. It was a life changing experience that has left a hole in my heart every day since. Normally the day comes and goes and I don't think anything of it. A week before or month later I'll think, Hmmm, April, mom died this month and that's about it for my anniversary trauma recall. Well, that's what I've assumed anyway.

So, here it is April and it just now dawned on me for the last week I've been blogging about depression...despair...death.  Coincidental?  I find it very interesting my subconscious may have registered the time cue and trauma anniversary recall without me even knowing it. I wonder if this happens every year and I've never made the connection?  Our brains are amazing things...when they aren't being poisoned.

There is a theory that chemically sensitive people are missing enzymes that allow their bodies to detox properly. The research  documentation includes a list of about thirty or more reasons why a person might be missing or lacking these enzymes. Grief was one of them, and in fact, the only reason on the list that corresponded to my history. I don't know if the trauma of my mother's death has anything to do with losing enzymes or my chemical sensitivity, but with so little known about MCS, I won't discount anything.